Dating Games: Why you're getting mixed messages

[@sandym3239]

If I feel confusion I'm out... Don't have the patience.

[@hninoowai1431]

same

[@colinogorman8279]

Agree

[@JuicyFruityify]

Susan, the new person just blows the old person totally away. I'm so happy. Goodbye, unemotional, avoidant, non-communicative, problematic, insecure, game playing ex. I found a secure, loving, drama-free, communicative, emotionally expressive, beauty that I'm falling in love with. What a difference a different person makes. Learn about yourself, find happiness in yourself. What you need will come, what you don't will fall away. God bless. Thank you.✨

[@intuitiveself-love9513]

A guy tried that game and he is dumped!! Immediately. I miss him but I will get over it in two minutes 😂

[@stefal22]

As a person who has been both at the giving and receiving end of mixed signals I can wholeheartedly say that Susan is absolutely right. Don't waste your time with them, just move on. Otherwise you will experience genuine heartache and eventually realize that this was a waste of time. It doesn't matter whether they are doing it consciously or unconsciounsly. They have issues that they can only solve on their own. You can't help them. Thank you Susan for offering great advice. Much love to all the tormented souls out there. You deserve to be loved.

[@triguenatriguena1627]

If, he brings or make you feel emocional unstable, RUN AWAY LADY'S.

[@mikyl-fo8rh]

Same goes for men.

[@toscadonna]

There’s no such thing as a mixed message. Any ambiguity and “confusion “ means they don’t like you enough. So always leave after any “mixed messages.”

[@donaldcurry9472]

I must tell you that there "definately" such things as mixed messages. The person that does this can be "completely" attracted to you, in love with you & really want you but they'll try to hide it because they be afraid of getting hurt, are dealing with things &/or living a life in disarray & turmoil that they never want you to see &/or know about, are very insecure & unstable, may be seeing someone else or could be trying to "play" hard to get. There's this woman I met that everytime she sees me she's drawn to me like a magnet. I have an attraction to her in many ways also. As soon as I let her know that I was aware of how she was drawn to me she started backing off. We had several conversations on the phone & several texts that we sent to each other. When she went cold on returning phone calls or texts I never let it phase me. She would see me at work & always say when she saw me that I have to talk to you about something. This is how I ended her games, mixed messages & nonsense. I would tell her that I didn't have time right now. Call me later when I get off & you get home. She never would call. She did this several times & I showed her that she was only hurting herself I would never allow anyone to treat me like that & I knew & know until this day that she really wants me & yet at the same time she seems to be a little on the nutty side. Remember there are people that want their cake & eat it to. She realizes today that she's messed-up now she is upset because I'll speak to her & be nice to her but I'm not interested in her nonsense. She is overall a nice person it seems so don't get me wrong. I'm waiting any day now for her to approach me & say, "you seem to have given me the cold shoulder". I can then tell her that it was her & not me & besides I met someone else that I find interesting so I don't want to mislead or confuse you. She will be hurt by her very own games & mixed messages. Trust me, "I've seen it before".

[@donaldcurry9472]

@@Alphacentauri819 I really don't think that "you" yourself understands the erratic & ignorant nonsense you just typed in. Mixed messages are always there to throw you off from how that person feels about you &/or the represent an agenda. It's how you deal with those mixed messages that will (& I absolutely love this Grasshopper so listen) bring out the pure & unadulterated truth. You don't feed-into them or overthink them. I say this from total experience. People can give you mixed messages about many things not only in relationships between men & women. A woman "can" be totally in love with a man & desire him deeply & try to hide her feelings & her current circumstances from him due to many variables & different reasons. You may be to to inexperienced or to dumb to know these things but I'm not.

[@donaldcurry9472]

@@Alphacentauri819 there are many people that want their cake & eat it to. That's a statement that totally rational men like my self understand. Why do you think people cheat?

[@Alphacentauri819]

Donald Curry darling... I’m a medical professional and a grandmother. You yourself are projecting and indeed a combination of arrogant and ignorant. Go ahead and believe in your myopic and toxic paradigm. You are beyond help...and in fact appear to be a narcissist. I have more experience not only in critical care, immunology, epigenetics and the microbiome...but also in regards to individuals and the influencing realms of attachment theory. Not only am I writing books, but am speaking too. I am far from inexperienced you punk. Step off. I was trying to help you, but your arrogant shortsighted nature doesn’t allow you to see you need it. Bye now

[@Alphacentauri819]

Donald Curry additionally you trying to teach that woman a lesson is toxic and pathetic. How about communication? Instead of what appears to be passive aggressive and dishonest realms? Seriously? Take a hint from Marshall Rosenberg. I can tell much more that goes wrong in your relationships IS indeed due to you and your juvenile and defensive, cognitive distortion riddled mindset.

[@ninon5168]

Perfect timing for my situation, I was getting mixed messages, hot and cold and it did make me wonder why?? Who cares why??? That’s exactly right Be clear and stay clear and if they are into you they’ll snap out of those games

[@janm9610]

That's right. I no longer worry about why they " did what", I just know it doesn't work for me!

[@rockymountainprincess9078]

"Clarity prefers clarity". Love it. That's my takeaway. Thanks, Susan!🙂

[@weekendgetawaywithme]

Oddly, I have found that the more educated I become, the more cynical my outlook and more challenging dating has become. ;(

[@SusanWinter]

BeautyBeholder It’s easy to get frustrated with those who are confused when you are clear. Thanks for watching my video, and best wishes.

[@grandeurglory7777]

Indeed

[@avril.227]

I’m telling myself... Don’t settle. Raise your standards and you will bail as soon as you get mixed signals. I think she mentioned on a previous video to trust your intuition.

[@theresafx2359]

I am clear and frustrated.... clearly frustrated with dating

[@conorm2524]

@MissZoey007 How are those cats treating you?

[@sgaf7001]

As someone who got mixed messages for months only to find out recently that he's already into someone else, it's better to assume that the person is just playing around and not really into you. It will save your time, emotion, and protect you from the damn pain. I could have saved mine, but it is what it is. I'll be an emotional wreck for weeks again, then I'll be fine as hell. A piece of advice: be a decent human being and do not spit lies like they are sweet promises.

[@chamelor]

He was giving you mixed messages when he was already into someone else?

[@elled8948]

He started playin ... He became unatrractive to me

[@RiaLuna1]

Elle d same

[@frankovera7553]

What does it mean to start playing?

[@SurasmitaMeher-ch3lo]

Same

[@conorm2524]

@@frankovera7553 He probably didn't text her back within 5 minutes or something.

[@rehammua]

this is me from now one, keep your priorities strait and your standards high always love your self and know what you truly deserve :)

[@SusanWinter]

Brilliant. Love this, Reham.

[@rayromano1446]

Susan Winter are YOU single? 🤔 honest question 😁

[@ryanhopwood9338]

Look me up Match ladies. I don’t play games and I date exclusively.

[@CryptoProphet]

I love how you take us right through the other person's psychology and then ask why we would want that. This is so helpful for me, I really need to understand the motivations behind a person's behavior and when they do things that I'd never do, it is really hard for me to understand that.

[@naomigates30]

I cried watching this video like I was in your livingroom. I really need to hear this today.

[@BH-dk7cn]

I like her... she’s straight up lol 💯

[@k.w.1459]

Why would someone want to waste time with a player whether outted or not. Call them out or not. But don't bother with them for a real authentic relationship

[@STEPHxCA]

So many people need to hear this, I’ve been getting mixed messages for the past month but I took the route of showing her a really good time while still living my life and seeing other people while she runs in circles in her head. Peeps- you’re too good to aggressively pursue someone like that let alone anyone. If they wanna play games I’ll play along but don’t get mad when I end up with someone better ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@dianekennedy7086]

Amen to that, Susan!! I've got somebody in my midst that has been sending mixed messages for the last two years. Recently on one of his "hot" episodes, I told him I stopped taking him seriously long ago because of his "hot/cold" behavior. He didn't like it, but I don't care. My time is valuable and don't have time for games. I look for serious relationship opportunities elsewhere - Diane.

[@calideeholmes6822]

Casual dating... a sneaky way or blatant excuse to say they want sex without commitment... screen 'em out over the phone and don't waste your time... its all about MTV [My Time] Is Valuable

[@SusanWinter]

Love this! Never saw the MTV acronym before and it's great. Thanks Calidee.

[@calideeholmes6822]

Susan Winter you are very welcome ;+D

[@penelopeplimsoul3617]

Great way of putting it. Some only WANT the exclusive relationship to get the sex.

[@Yakman18]

Clarity prefers clarity! Great stuff, Susan.

[@marcyallison5996]

I watch your videos everyday!! They give the strength I need to steer clear of my hot and cold player whether she is doing it unconsciously or not.

[@SusanWinter]

Excellent. Thanks Marcy.

[@beejj6190]

BRILLIANT to see a therapist come online and not act as if she knows the secrets to all dating success. Having self -esteem and 'learning' is what it's all about. All we can do is get better at it ; ) God bless, Susan.

[@mariar3136]

Wow. Thanks so much!!! Simple advice but yet mind blowing..."clarity prefers clarity." That had me shook. 🤯

[@ttgsct]

This is one of the best advice I've ever had about the topic. You've also saved me many years ago (from a different mess I was in). Thank you.

[@SusanWinter]

thaks BC! Glad it was helpful!

[@girlinthesouth850]

I hate online dating!!! I swear it's of the devil 😈

[@penelopeplimsoul3617]

Brooke C I sure felt like I met a lot of them.

[@grandeurglory7777]

it's so true, don't know why...

[@Tubie1111]

Online, social media, texting, etc... it makes people lazy, play games and hide due to self esteem issues or who knows. So over it.

[@grandeurglory7777]

@@Tubie1111 can't be not-right eventhough i wanna give a benefit of doubt! experience talk, no theory

[@ryanhopwood9338]

I gave up online dating due to this past month of a 40-year-old single mom that we met online and all our wants and same interests met in sync and text the whole month of December till i met her this New Year. She always busy with 9-year-old and full time job and she was everything to me and so was I i thought. She blew up my phone and went hot and cold fast. Well she wanted me exclusively but the red flag of excuses was around and finally meeting and after our walk around the lake and coffee and great conversation, she ghosted me for a week and said she met someone else around the same time she met me and was sorry. She did was not courteous to tell me that we were not exclusive and she was dating another guy. She breadcrumbed me like a busy single mom and at the end she stringed me along as part of her bachelorette game to find who she liked the most. I thought I was the love of her life and we were dating exclusive each other. She never wanted to talk over phone because her daughter will wonder who I am apparently and she wanted to get comfortable to know me over time. Excuses and Hot/Cold mind games. Odd and red flaggsh it took her that long to see me a month later. THE NERVE!!!

[@rosalindgrimes2437]

I've always told him, your energy, emotions, and time are not with me, it's with that ex! He swears he doesn't want her, however, I don't believe that! My gut has told me!

[@karenpaige1186]

So what happened?

[@frankovera7553]

I could feel the same thing with my wife.

[@thegoat4232]

Frank Overå leave

[@chacharas81]

Brilliant Susan! Awesome! Theres these new generation of "love coaches" full of lies and games, they play with our need to find love. And you, you are honest, empowering and wise! Thank God!

[@SusanWinter]

THANK YOU GOC EP!! I really appreciate reading your comment. My goal is to balance the coaches that teach game, and assist individuals to create the type of love that works for them. So happy you're a part of my KZbin family.

[@thrilla72]

Because unfortunately many young men have listened to well intentioned advice of being nice, accomodating, sweet, great listener and romantic to not get the woman they're interested in.

[@becker2278]

👍👍👍 the problem is that these are times when most people (or at least, many), both men and women are confused. We live in such a complex and fast paced society. And, therefore, we are surrounded by a lot of confused persons whose conflicts and struggles don't let them discover who they are. 🤔

[@richleskovec4075]

Excellent synopsis Susan. I've lived it.

[@SusanWinter]

thanks Rich!!

[@Jay-bu6cd]

"There's another bus coming in 15 minutes!" is a common saying. Well, there are buses, and there are buses! When you've been riding around in a $3M coach, and the next 10 buses coming along are school buses, you wanna make it work with the $3M coach!

[@UnexpectedWonder]

Truly!

[@Alphacentauri819]

Jay and then there are $3M dollar coaches that are missing the wheels and an engine :) No thanks!

[@batfleckforever3594]

Nobody is a $3M coach.

[@maggie0417]

Then, perhaps you miss the $10m coach…

[@dianepayne9355]

I hate mind games,so glad i am single again.If a guy does this with me, i am gone play games with someone else.

[@bbardy3924]

lol yep so true. i had a chick suddenly use some excuse after agreeing to go out on a date and got her number .She invited me to her work party and then claims that it was some other worker at the party who picked up her phone and text me. I knew it was bullshit because i have never seen the phone leave her hand. The things that came outta of her mouth .i realised that the amount of red flags. so i doged a bullet early and didn't end up in the same relationship as my last ex, Esp since when you hear from a women that her last three bfs were losers. That is a red flag that maybe you keep going for bad boy loser then saying all guys are losers. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity, So i will let a women feel conform-table around me and open up and she will spill her secrets and you can figure out whether she is the problem with choosing bad guys or she is just complete crazy.

[@paulcooper5748]

Thing is i find women play them more

[@Jojo-et9pg]

You are so right! Most of relationship coachers are like “try do this and try do that “ and act in a certain way to get his attention or get him back and all you get actually is ending up in a vicious circle that only makes you feel belittled and empty with a great dose of insecurity. That is how exactly all of us should act if we want real relationships and real people in our lives.

[@SunshineSuperstar]

Yeah...its called reaping what one sows... Kind of been a thing for eons!!! You ladies just now figuring it out???

[@Jojo-et9pg]

@@SunshineSuperstar talking by experience ?

[@SunshineSuperstar]

@@Jojo-et9pg Talking from observation. My deeds are all good so i dont sow from wicked or ignorant ones... Why do you ask?

[@Jojo-et9pg]

@@SunshineSuperstar Just curiosity ...glad to hear that your intentions are honest

[@SunshineSuperstar]

@@Jojo-et9pg How can ones intentions be bad when ones heart is pure and their spirit has maintained it's innocence?

[@rbaker368]

Here endeth the lesson! Soooo true. I’ve been dating a new guy for a month. On our fifth date, and after having already had an upfront chat early on about what we were both dating for (agreed we both wanted a relationship ultimately, and decided to be open to all possibilities and see how things went between us) he dropped the bombshell on my about the fact he’s known since he was 12 he didn’t want to get married, and that he isn’t capable of having a long term relationship. ‘I really want to. But I don’t have the ability to. It’s never gonna happen for me. It’s never my priority.’ I was shocked! I took a day to think it over, then called and ended it. He was so surprised and disappointed! He wants to be ‘friends’ now. But tbh. As you said in this video, Susan. His behaviour has really put me off even a friendship. So I’ve walked. I am so clear about what I want now, I can’t bear to be around anyone that is playing with me or viewing me as a casual, short term piece of fun. It makes my skin crawl!

[@irenesimovic1024]

Same thing happened to me, at the same time they suffer too - keeping themselves miserable .. and friend zoning people they send naked pics, compliments and everything

[@shelleydooney3720]

You have addressed all the things I've wondered about for years. Thank you so much!

[@k.w.1459]

Great video and advice. I lived this back and forth mixed messages with one man off and on for about SIX years! He pursued me and then got scared or whatever. Honestly, I wonder if he just found other women to keep busy with. He'd hit me up when he didn't have anybody else to bide his time with. We'd be intimate, then I wouldn't hear from him for weeks. Pretty sure that's it, because after six years you get to know a person even though he was a pretty good master of keeping everything quiet and compartmentalizing. A few years later I got a HUGE apology for how he treated me, he wanted to try again (maybe because he knew I was off the market, but he said he had an epiphany!) I forgave him. I broke off with guy I was seeing and we started dating AGAIN. He was better (maybe because he failed with his harem and knew I still loved him and was an easy sell), but I was on constant edge. I never felt like I felt comfortable with him; always in fear of doing or saying the wrong thing. He still was not 100% in the relationship. We broke up four months later right around the time he goes into his Seasonal Affective Disorder! We remained friends. Three years later he comes back again! Seems like he's interested. I'm cautious but happy to spending time with him again. We do date-y things. He says he's not interested in dating anybody. (Not sure if you remember when I sent you the picture of him and another woman who he was dating, but "swears she misunderstood his intentions and he wasn't dating her!?) Well, I catch him grinding up and kissing her about 2 weeks later. He swears to likely this day he was never doing anything to hurt me. I had had it! I told him that I needed to walk away COMPLETELY from him. So I did. Finally! He tried to keep in contact with me (privately, of course because he doesn't like to let people know his life. LOL! More like he doesn't like the other women who he's playing know what else he's up to with others) but I ignored every reach out. After 2 years he finally deleted me from his network. Guess what? I don't give a crap! Good riddance to him and his BS!Ladies, just be cautious of a man who keeps everything under wraps. It might not be much to worry about, but ask yourself why a man is sooooooooooo private on social media. He's always seemingly busy ON THERE, but he doesn't post much and CERTAINLY NOTHING that would indicate a relationship he has with YOU!! Why are you a secret?)I just want to say one more thing because I don't think you've touched upon it. I believe, at least in some cases, they try to keep you around because they are confused and sometimes because they KNOW that you love them. You are in love with them! Everyone likes to be adored especially those who love the limelight (read: entertainers). And to lose you means to lose the love you are giving them. LET THEM GO if they are more trouble than they are worth!!

[@SusanWinter]

I'm really sorry for your experience KW. This sounds absolutely horrible. In a way, we've all been there to some degree. When your partner keeps you a secret-you've got a problem. Their excuses can be compelling and logical, and they can be quite persuasive as to the reasons why they "need" to do this. But clear thinking tells us that any person who's proud to be with their mate we'll gladly introduce them to everyone. I wish you well..

[@k.w.1459]

Exactly! Thank you also for the empathy.

[@SusanWinter]

K. W. Sending you smiles!

[@k.w.1459]

Susan Winter so I thought my story was over with this guy since he finally deleted me from fb about three weeks ago but I was wrong. In Monday he texted me as a check in (three texts actually). One asking he hoped it was ok that he texted me! I didn't even realize it was him bc I literally removed his number from his phone contact entry so I wouldn't accidentally butt dial him! Lol I've not responded. Do you think I should bother or just ignore? (We live in same town and have mutual friends)

[@SusanWinter]

I'd reply. Be civil. Say what you feel you need to say. I'm suggesting this because you will see him at some point the future, and you have mutual friends. Handling this in a diplomatic, but proactive manner, puts you in control of feeling comfortable when you run into him unexpectedly.

[@victoriaxxi6064]

Wow this really helped me to clear my mind . since I'm dealing with that kind of man right now. Thank you so much Susan ❤

[@SusanWinter]

You're welcome, Victoriaxxi.

[@travestychannel9659]

Susan Winter. great advice. I want you. I am younger but have much experience in beimg with older woman. maybe we cam quest. blog?

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Travis. i don't do that. But thank you.

[@supernova2897]

"Clarity prefers clarity" oooooooh that resonates with me so deeply and gives me a light bulb moment...im much further in my healing than i thought.

[@indyd9322]

This video was so good! Everything on point! Yes, mixed messages is confusion. These confused people, unintentionally or intentionally, are huge time wasters! I can't tell you how much time I spent trying to understand why some people would act in such a bizzare, split way. Is it their attachment style, unresolved trauma, miscommunication, did I do something wrong, etc. ??? I like to understand things, so it was driving me nuts! Bottom line, you might never get the answers you seek, so move on to someone who is clear!

[@trock8930]

Thank you for sharing this message. You speak in a manner which I can understand and relate to.

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks for your comment, Terry.

[@Surayya444]

You’re videos are so helpful. I love that you always direct your messages to both sexes and not just women or men. It’s equally distributed to both. Love this !!!!

[@canm7157]

Very very strong motivating words, I truly appreciate it and it made me calm down. First, as she began confusing me, I was really a secure Person and turned off by her behavior, but I started overanalyzing it and lost my sense of self. Your Video got it me back. Thank you a lot for this Video.

[@Supsup7777]

I just had this happen to me over the summer. He finally said he is not ready to date. I found out he just dated someone for two weeks before she called it off. His friend mentioned it to me and sort of said... In so many words... that I’m too much of a good girl. I was sort of relieved because I am a good girl type and I’m not looking for a man who still wants to be a boy. Not looking for a bad boy!

[@josenavas9968]

Thank you. As you said "stay to the higher ground" It wasn't easy at first..but worth it. 😎

[@Warrior_Princess_1111]

Oh this is beautiful and completely true. I remember hanging onto every hint my ex gave and now that he is trying to form...something...I just roll my eyes.

[@kaalicia2867]

I have just discovered you and of all the videos I've watched you really have such truth and clarity. Thank you so much!! I feel stronger and so much clearer about what has been happening. What a blessing!!

[@luulips]

It's deep as I listened to this two or three times I realized that I was in confusion. My first time liking a much younger man. I had been fighting with myself about it the whole time. What will people say? Why would he want me? How could I have a future? I can't mess up his life: (as in one of your other videos). I can't have his children. How will he feel when he finds out I have alopecia and no hair? Of course I found a way to blame him for everything. Lately I've had some rude awakenings about myself. I almost feel I want to thank him because the awakenings started after I stopped talking to him a few months ago. He had no idea of all the madness that twirled around in my mind. I believe something about him and how I really feel about him I suppose opened up a whole world of thoughts and feelings that were buried deep inside of me. I actually haven't had a boyfriend in over fifteen years! Wth! My having alopecia is what kept me from letting anyone get close. I hadn't accepted it in all these years. Huge lightbulb moment. 💡💡💡

[@SusanWinter]

Dear Luulips. What an incredible share. Thank you. Just took real courage to write on apublic platform, and to admit to yourself. Brilliant work! This is an incredible advancement forward!! I think you should write him that note, telling him exactly what you stated here. I'd apologize for any confusion you gave him as you've now discovered that YOU were also confused. And thank him for the revelations that that relationship brought. I really believe in leaving a 'present' at the end of any connection. For all we know, that relationship served its complete and total purpose. Thank you for this!!

[@luulips]

Susan Winter That's so true that may have been its purpose. Its amazing when we have these awakening moments. This is a huge one for me. It brings bittersweet tears to my eyes as I think of it all. That's a great idea about leaving a "present" at the end of a relationship.

[@SusanWinter]

luulips 😊😊😊

[@juliejuju7419]

Susan Winter Brilliant! Wow...: "leave a present at the end of each relationship"

[@juliejuju7419]

luulips It's wonderful you found tour lightbulb or as Oprah calls it, the "A-ha moment". I love how Susan winters said we all should leave a "present" at the end of a relationship. That made so much beautiful sense . It will all work out..wish you all the best 😍

[@coiyamk]

Good stuff, Susan! Spot on; love the way you articulate concepts and examples.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you C Lynne

[@BrOkEnSkAtEr1295]

Susan you are the shit. Hands down the best advice Ive heard, not just on the internet.

[@global2765]

Happened to me aswell. First she finished it, then reached out a month later and then started acting cold again so I did the same to her and I left without saying anthing and left her to wonder. She asked what happened and told her about her mixed messages and I never reached out to her , I left that for her to do and then she started reaching out every month until I told her that I had no time to waste and play peeka boo and if texting is all she wanted told her to go and find someone else and to make up her mind or else leave me alone. A week later she missed video drop called me and said so sorry it was her daughter by mistake. I think she was trying to see if I blocked her, could also have been genuinly her daughter. People like these there is no need to wonder if or but or something else just one option move on with your life and date other people. Their confusion becomes yours. Simples

[@dolldollmakeupart2113]

Thank you Susan This guy would answer some of my texts then ignore some he would read them then not reply :( He said he wouldn't want anyone to put expectations on him when he's focusing on himself :( so ... thank you because you stopped me from msg him 🙂💔

[@SusanWinter]

doll girl you did the right thing. If it’s this difficult going in, imagine what it’s like to be involved.

[@sharathsuma7556]

Thank you , Susan for sharing a great message . You have hit the nail right on its head . This is a very important problem ,which you have addressed here . I know this because I myself was acting as a culprit . Let me admit honestly , I was sort of a confused dater initially . I first met my girlfriend when she visited our college as a coorporate executive . I was charmed by the speech she gave . Her confidence , the way she carried herself everything attracted me and it was kind of a love at first sight . Later I met her in a function at my friends home where I found that she was her mom's best friend and a single mom . I was 17 that time and luckily I found a way to get closer to her (its a long story and I feel great thinking about it now. Infact I shamelessly followed her everywhere ) . But it took me good 2 years time to even have some meaningful discussion with her . She tried to convince me that I should be dating girls of my age but I insisted that I love her . She didn't blindly accept my statement . From her part she tried to convince me to back out stating that I am too young. Also she asked me several questions about how I will handle the social expectations , my family etc . THat was when I realized that I was in a confused state . I was not sure how I will convince my parents . What if they dont agree with my preference ? Do I have the guts to stick to my decision ? Even if I do my parents will be shamed by the society ? Can I allow it to happen ? Is it just a temerory attraction ? There were lots of questions in my mind . At that time it was just a first attraction and I was not sure whether I would be committed till the end . But good thing was that I didn't try to lie . I told her about everything my heart felt . I told her that I am in a confused state but at present only thing I know is that I love her and if I have to move away from her I would be deeply hurt .She didn't pressurize me , instead she told me that she admire my honesty and that she had dated many men in the past however almost all were dishonest with their feelings . No one was open as I was and that was what she really appreciated about me . I apologized to her if at all my confusion hurt her . She told me that she was never hurt but happy about my openness . She told that we can be friends and give it some time and see how it goes . Lets not consider it as dating . We spend almost 2-3 years and by now our bond is very strong . Now I don't care what my family or friends think about our relationship . Her support has allowed me to be firm with my decision . Last year we both and few of my friends in college were invited for my friends birthday . I went to Suma(my girlfriend) and asked her whether she was ok if I introduce her to my friends and she was very happy . I introduced her to my friends as my girlfriend and they all gave us thumbs up . Of course couple of exceptions are there who try to play us down but who cares when we are in love . Thank you again , Susan . The message you conveyed was so try and I was one of those confused daters :) but I dated only one person in my life and there won't be any more dates .

[@SusanWinter]

I'm very pleased to read about your clarity and deep devotion ot this lady. I have a video coming out next week on "telling the parents" as I see that this is a concern of yours moving forward. Keep as you have been, and stay steady and strong. You're convincing this lady of your sincere nature. Also, continue to advance in life. Do well in school and work. Best wishes!

[@sharathsuma7556]

Thank you so much , Susan . I was about to request you for the same . However you are always a step ahead . You anticipated it well in advance . I will for sure . If I have the support of my girlfriend , your guidance and the blessings of my parents I will do well in school and work . Thank you . You are a wonderful person .

[@luulips]

Sharath Gopi beautiful story 💕

[@sharathsuma7556]

Thank you , Luulips for your kind words . Unfortunately my story is going through tough times . However I am trying to correct it and I am receiving great support from Susan .

[@annharrison4774]

He's a player! Walk on, I would!

[@hninoowai1431]

"The clear you get, the more you know yourself'

[@moubhattacharyay6891]

6:09 Simply Distasteful, UNATTRACTIVE & CERTAINLY UNAPPEALING..👍🏼 Perfect Said, Ma'am ❤

[@amhb2479]

you have a beautiful energy and really good at what you do. God bless you Susan.

[@scottguthrie8074]

Girl! Once again you are spot on! WHY WASTE THE TIME? I'm in control of me! The player or confused soul, both ultimately unhealthy and destructive to healthy self-esteem in my opinion! Thank U!

[@lisairions8835]

Like your other videos, I really liked this one. That's what I always say "NEXT" when I heard you say it was just total confirmation. Thanks Susan

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Lisa. Thank you!! At a certain point in our life, confusion such as this is a real turnoff. No longer a teenager, there's no reason to not know what we want. If a date is confused, then "next" is the perfect answer!!! Take care Lisa. Great to hear from you!!

[@chitownbella8970]

Lisa Irions *ju

[@sabrinaconte5109]

Thank you Susan!!! Great video! Very helpful. No confusion. It is very easy, and safe. If I feel confused I push back. No confusion in my life. 😜

[@MaryBartnikowski]

Truth! Clarity is a beautiful thing.

[@nadyah.2433]

Thanks to you and other amazing coaches I started to understand players and crack their games really fast. Good job, dear Susan!💐

[@Lindamij]

Love your empowerment videos!!! Thank you soo much!

[@SusanWinter]

You are welcome Linda

[@ellest7741]

Love you!! You seriously have saved my dating life 😇

[@SimplyTomasTheCollection]

SPOT ON!!!!! Susan, you are the best! Love you, dear.

[@tracybrothers8489]

Wow. This is informative in a simplistic way. No games. Great explanation and representation of getting clarity from within. Great points Susan!

[@OlderWomenRock]

Thank You Susan 🙏 Perfectly accurate and immensely helpful . Love your straight approach .

[@RuthieDipalma]

Susan, u give the best advice

[@SamSam-lv6ss]

your words are always so clear, strong and impactful!

[@aamirnazirchohan6370]

Excellent analysis about confused people

[@reynagomez6936]

THAT was great advice " that's what is going on with me so I'm gonna tell him play that game with someone else because I should be #1

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Reyna. After all, your name says it all. Don't be afraid to express yourself and command respect. You're a queen, even if the spelling is different.

[@ghostlyme]

Guy I've known most of my life, still does this to me, (as an adult) I have had to learn to not get offended by his "cold" moments anymore, thanks for verifying that I am making the right moves forward.

[@travelografa]

Clarity + clarity

[@casperinsight3524]

Haha, I got stuck on the last bus mentality, forgetting that I own my own car

[@fitzpatrickstacey5021]

That's funny

[@philipcrocker]

Very good. Thank You...

[@egolumkenneth1071]

I love you Susan... Thank you so much!

[@donavin51]

Keep sharing those gems of wisdom!!! I liked this a lot!

[@TheRedCap30]

Thanks for this video, Susan! Knowing someone doesn't make you a priority when you plan something hurts, not just in romantic relationships but friendships too. Its best just to cut you losses if it happens repeatedly and move on. If they won't give you time, why should you give yours?

[@grand_air_trine_astro]

Best video on the subject I’ve ever seen 🙌🏻💕

[@jimstevens1726]

WOW. You are right on as always. Thanks.

[@lymanmayhew935]

Truth! I must have a sign on my forehead that says " use me"!!!! But I keep trying. I'm dumbfounded

[@tinyah6208]

Love your coaching ❤ Thank you so much for sharing

[@juliechristoff107]

Wow. you hit the nail on the head. Needed to hear that. Thank you.

[@LisaGemini]

Susan, you're amazing. I could binge watch you...and I don't even LIKE that! I might have played games in my early 20s but nobody wants to be manipulated. I sure don't. The Golden Rules applies!

[@whosahotmail]

Susan, not only do you shine light on behaviours and give good advice, but what I love most is that I feel understood every time I listen to you. I've said it once and I'll say it again, you are the cool Aunty that give the best advice.

[@shelchicago8997]

If it ain’t a HELL YEAH, it’s a NO. There’s nothing confusing about it.

[@stormtrooper8430]

First, I wanna thank Susan for this clip. It really helped me walking out of the mist, mist that created by someone who I couldn't think she would be. I am a widower who has been remaining single for 10 over years. I have a very good relationship with my 2 kids, girl 14 years old and boy 13. I love them very much and they love their father. Only very recently, this lady who from my work place appeared, she was very friendly, tried to get my attention by smiling at me at the beginning. Yeah, yeah, it seem like a very sweet start for a new potential good relationship. But, once she knew she had gotten my attention ( I tried to get the opportunity to talk to her more often, I approached ), thing changed. She started to play hot and cold...I thought she was shy at first but later I found that that wasn't the case. Several times I tried to stay away from her, I thought to myself that pretty much I had gotten a wrong idea from this lady. Walla! She tried to pull me again by frequently bumped into me, smiling at me... There was a time, she even tried to make me jealous by talking to a guy ( she asked for something from my department, usually I am the personnel who does the delivery and she knew that. ) She did all the things that like fixing hair while I was passing by, eye contact and look away... and by the time I try to pursue, she back off, showing her back, pretending busy and etc. I knew she is playing game, she is not shy. Gosh! I was a toy of somebody. I am not very young and I knew that I am not a emotional person but yet I fell into the trap.

[@tuff47]

I quit dating when I was 38. I realized that every woman I went out with wanted some guy that made $50 to $100,000 a year. I did not even come close. Also, whenever a female dumped me, I carried that hurt for at least a year. Confused. Depressed. Who needs it. The cost is great than the benefit of having a relationship of any sort with a female.

[@valeriesmith2770]

This is the best information that I've EVER received.. Wow!!thank you.. clear n concise.. I love it..

[@sourclam904]

Susan you are amazing. You are right on sister about so much. Thank you for all you do and share with us. God bless you.

[@jvdh1887]

Needed this today..thanx Susan

[@alexandra1299]

Susan, you make things seem so clear! I just love your videos.

[@RoundSquareX]

Thank you so much Susan. I really needed to hear this right now.

[@steplds]

Great advice Susan!!! Thank you so much for everything that you do.

[@SusanWinter]

Stef Into Fashion thanks.

[@TheLove2surf]

Perfect!!! Needed to hear this!!!

[@doranda137]

I love this video!!! Thank you!

[@annas8308]

This info is so helpful. Thanks Susan!

[@alolo1429]

you always speak on exactly what i need

[@salvaged_wretch]

uUUuwie !!! this is the realest advice. and, on to the next i go.

[@UnexpectedWonder]

This makes a ton of sense and what I've gleaned over the years from Exes and otherwise.

[@boomerangsruckflug8513]

I have someone who writes about every 3 weeks that he's missing me, after we've spent only 1 great weekend together last August (!!!) but he never asks to meet again... When he does that, I send a smiley and do some smalltalk. 2 minutes later I continue searching for a new date on Tinder. My life goes on and it's great with or without any guy 😅😊😋... but last but not least I like him, meaning the door is open for him as long as I'm free... I have to add that men over 50 that have gone through a divorce need more time, since they are very afraid to fail again.

[@SusanWinter]

Mirielle, you really exude confidence. I'm so happy for your. Also, you're corent about the divored men aspect. Not all, but many divoreced men suffer from their idealic dream being shattered. They don't trust, and are afraid to open up to love. Keep on shining!

[@ttouran]

I have recently seen several of your videos, and I listen to them as I work on projects. I really find the information valuable, and while I may not completely understand everything you are saying, I get the gist and points of your discussion, and those have been very helpful.

[@Nàlucaa-7i]

I listened to this like 10x👏👏👏 Thank you Susan. I feel empowered!