proving your relationship for views

[@cloudofdark129]

The proper response to "can you peel an orange for me?" is, "that's a tangerine"

[@amandaananda9029]

If my wife said that and then peeled it I'd laugh, if she just said that and did nothing else I'd feel crappy 🥲

[@julianlaresch6266]

Some people legitimately peel oranges. I don't get it, not worth the effort but you do you.

[@asfodelos3225]

But even then it's so easy to peel and split a tangerine with your beloved

[@AaronHendu]

I sure can. But will I? Nah...you got time...what else you gonna be doing, recording ME peel the orange?

[@AaronHendu]

"Hey babe crack this beer for me, would ya? While I am busy unbuttoning my pants after eating way too m7ch dinner and sinking into my lazy boy for the rest of the night. Thanks babe."

[@aidenpopour594]

People will do literally anything except openly communicate with each other

[@ElementalWhispers]

And go to therapy

[@sweetembrace6706]

people do openly communicate. people also lie and deceive until after they're married and feel their partner is 'trapped' to start showing their actual personality and intentions

[@van2165]

@@sweetembrace6706that isn’t very open communication of them now is it

[@Gallagher068]

My ex was great at open communication, unfortunately it was delayed a few days to a couple weeks and they've been festering anger at me the whole time over whatever slight I had committed. And no, they did not receive open communication well when they did something the had a negative impact on me.

[@aidenpopour594]

@@Gallagher068 if it's only one way that isn't open; they sound delightful. Glad you were able to get out of it

[@michielbaird]

When my wife delivered our baby, I was really confused by the amount of praise that I received from the hospital staff. I don't think I did anything special, basically just took care of my child while my wife recovered. The bar should not be this low.

[@dbul2542]

I was surprised when my wife, a teacher, told me that 95% of the time it’s only moms not dad who come to parent-teacher conferences. My dad pretty much always came to mine.

[@cristinacardenas3660]

​@dbul2542 my dad always came to any school meeting or event i had not because he wanted to (miss work, and as the only breadwinner for a fam of 9 at the time...) because he needed to, my mom was always on drugs sadly

[@themelnova]

i was so shocked to find out how common it is for dads to be absent or neglectful. I grew up with my parents having equal roles and responsibilities - my dad has always been great and I'm so lucky to have him but I can't believe other men don't even think twice about their kids!

[@Sajirah]

Not only is the bar low for men being there for their partner during childbirth, but I’ve heard so many stories from family and friends who work in healthcare about having to straight up watch those men from said partners after she’s given birth because they’re already trying to have sex with her mere hours and days after pushing a human being out. The bar isn’t just low, it’s in Hell.

[@EnlightenedMinarchist]

​@@themelnova Lol. Ever heard of having a job? You cant meet with your child's teacher if you're at fucking work.

[@pazz]

The ketchup one is insane. If my partner made a mess by accident, of course I'd help clean it up, they wouldn't have to ask. If I watched my partner take ketchup out of the fridge and look me in the eye as they purposefully squirt it on the counter, then demand that I "clean it up"... Obviously I'm not going to do that, at least not without an explanation as to why they've seemingly lost their mind all of a sudden. I would be alarmed and ask what's this all about? Then if I find out it's a test, I'd probably break up with them because I dont want to be in a relationship with someone who "tests" me by seeing how I react to them acting like an asshole... because acting like an asshole to test someone's loyalty makes you a worse kind of asshole.

[@anacrea3931]

The ketchup thing is insane. "Clean it up" would be met with a "No." because if you're intentionally making the mess and older than age 4 you can clean it up yourself. That behaviour is a red flag from the deliberate mess making, to the demand, to the fact it's a tiktok challenge. No thanks!

[@neverstoppedme]

100%. Demanding unquestioning obedience from a partner is a very different thing to demanding equal participation or basic respect. I hate the idea of these tests, but the orange one I at least understand. "Are you willing to slightly inconvenience yourself to make me feel good" is not an outlandish request. "Are you willing to clean up after me like I'm a toddler having a tantrum" is WILD.

[@thatonedog819]

Yeah that gives "spoiled brat" vibes

[@jadet-rex6475]

I've seen a few where the woman would explain before the video that it's a test to see how they do cleaning up the mess, and some of the men are 100% for it and make a game out of it (the conveyerbelt method is pretty damn cool), but it should never just be a [splurrrrt] "clean it! 😊"

[@spicymemes7458]

I want it to be so toxic that people frown upon having a TikTok account like alcoholism or another disease of dispair. Being normal doesn't require an audience.

[@stxrryd]

Surprised that you haven't gone over the "Don't pick your friend up at the airport" trend. It's not even a problem with romantic relationships anymore. Hustle culture has broken people.

[@Yurrpfp]

Fr. Social media genuinely made people a lot more cruel and heartless bro. Although, we can thank it for exposing such people, such as the one who came up with that friendship "test" 😒😒

[@vivianeribeiro1000]

What is this trend?

[@stxrryd]

@@vivianeribeiro1000 A trend where you "take back your precious time and mental health" by treating friendships as transactional. It starts by not electing to do deeds for your friends who "haven't earned it" like saying no to picking them up at the airport. It's meant to be "uplifting" and a way for your to save more time on being productive instead of a "doormat" to society. However, most of the content around this social trend is created by hustle bros and boss babes who insist that creating appointments for hanging out with friends and family is normal now in today's society.

[@foxxxyg]

This explains so much to me. I am disabled and can't drive and have trouble walking/sometimes use a wheelchair because of it and it was never a problem for my friends to come get me to do stuff until recently. I always just paid for gas and that was that (plus I use a handicap pass which means we always get good parking!). But I have recently lost some newer friends over the fact that they always have to come to me if we want to hang out. I kinda felt like "well yeah and if you don't see why then maybe I'm good on hanging out with you" but it was weird that it suddenly happened multiple times.

[@Segphalt]

​@@stxrrydScheduling things in general is pretty typical, how else do you know when/where you are supposed to be?

[@kingworm7168]

If you need to film yourself testing your partner, you already know the answer.

[@hannahanderson4326]

Exactly!

[@thedeepfriar745]

Yes the person filming private relationship moments is the asshole!

[@mariokarter13]

If the video shows a cartoonishly abusive partner that knows they're being recorded, the video is fake.

[@ItzGuerrero]

Yeah! If you have to film yourself testing your partner, you're a shitty partner.

[@luluscaglione]

It's so childish, these people have no emocional maturity to be in a lasting relationship

[@t.r.s.5129]

My husband has failed the orange peel test a hundred times by now. Instead of peeling an orange, he lets me peel it myself; but then he also washes the dishes every day, and helps me with laundry when I can't get to it, goes grocery shopping and has been such a good, tender dad to our baby. Yeah, he failed the orange peel test but I don't need it to know how he feels about me or how healthy our relationship is.

[@skiuhjan]

tiktok managed to come up with the pomegranate "theory" as well... they insist that, if your partner loves you, they'll take the time to gently get all the seeds out, rinse them, etc. (instead of whacking the pomegranate over a bowl, for example). i saw a video from this girl who, for whatever reason, asked her boyfriend to draw her a pomegranate instead... and apparently she was upset because he drew it with the skin still on. the drawing was genuinely lovely, and if my partner drew me something with that much care i would honestly just start crying.

[@natalie-3737]

I SAW THAT VIDEO TOO and all the comments were trying to analyze the drawing thank you for mentioning it I thought I was going insane

[@georgeandrews1394]

I'd be somewhat disappointed if someone gave me a bowl of pomegranate seeds. Picking the seeds out is the fun part. I mean, I would be flattered they went to the trouble, but I would definitely let them know that I like picking the seeds out.

[@taiyakidefresa]

That sounds like a job interview thing, like drawing someone under the rain

[@Ro-the-redhead]

My grandmother told us that" You can't train thoughtful" which as I've grown I've learned to mean that you can't ask people to keep you in their thoughts, so be aware when people are expressing thoughtfulness and do the same in return. I'm going to add that you can't test thoughtfulness either. Be aware of red flags but don't test your partner because you're setting up your relationship into a pass/fail box.

[@dreamsicle3113]

This was some great advice.

[@latesummer]

"you cant test thoughtfulness" is a really nice thing to know and think about thank you

[@Roadent1241]

@ville__ And I've demade Another Code Two Memories for Gameboy alongside my other original games. You can play it in full. So what? We are both creative. Well done on your side. I'm not saying mine's better than the official remake that just came out either XD Just saying it was a very interesting coincidence.

[@sohnoterra16]

Not trying to thrust this upon you, but the person you replied to isn't talking about a game. Daisy's destruction is a CP video involving a under 1 year old child. I've reported the user, please report them as well

[@gekirobo8720]

YIKES, welp, no need to tell me twice ​@@sohnoterra16

[@tom_j.]

I'm single and I won't peel an orange for myself

[@meow.4972]

Y'know how gay women cut their middle and pointer fingernails even when they have acrylics??? The pinkie and ring finger are for orange peeling. Hope this helps ^_^

[@tom_j.]

@@meow.4972 peeling with a pinkie??? Are you INSANE

[@meow.4972]

​​@@tom_j. No it's just to start the peeling. To break the peel. Iykyk 😢

[@ileanagarcia-soto5449]

My mother always peel citrus fruits with a knife. I learned to do it that way and could not understand why to use your fingers. Mandarin oranges are the exception.

[@tom_j.]

@@ileanagarcia-soto5449 same

[@starling333]

I totally took the hobbies videos as "He doesn't have the time to cheat on me because his hobby takes all of it" and thought they were cute! I had never thought of it as "He's a loser and I'm a prize"

[@rosenylund3452]

Had similar feelings always took it as more "oh gurl, look at my nerd, he's too busy with *hobby* for me, let alone you lol"

[@ulawan5]

Yeah! I always thought they were just cute and hyping up how cute and passionate their boyfriend is, along with the "he doesnt have time to cheat" implication, but also "I'm not worried, he's a good man" the guys are always so HAPPY in the few I've seen too, but my sample may be biased toward the heartwarming ones that have gotten to my circles taking interest in amd encouraging a partner's hobbies is a huge green flag imo (edit: clarity)

[@kingworm7168]

I took it that way as well. Like “my dude is too hyper focused on WoW to cheat”

[@vivianloney]

I'm sure some of them were mean. Those trends always start out really cute and towards their end they turn sour.

[@mm-ln9sw]

same here i thought they were cute and innocent and meant to show what a dedicated kind of guy is like. dedicated not just to her, but his hobbies that he’s passionate about.

[@lavieenroseglitter7364]

Watching all these commentary videos about TikTok drama really validate my decision to not be on social media besides YT

[@Man-ej6uv]

same

[@thecyberdork776]

I agree.

[@SummerAlleriaWindrunner]

Amen 😆

[@kvarner6886]

My god, RIGHT? Me too.

[@stevenm11920]

Real

[@frogonwall]

One time my partner got too drunk, threw up all over the bathroom. I walked in to find him trying to clean it up with toilet paper and had to convince him to go lay down so I could clean up because he wanted to help and felt so bad about me cleaning it up myself. He just kept apologizing, during and after. Now it's just kind of a funny story. But instead of testing your partner, maybe just look to the past to situations and how they've handled them??

[@isky6541]

That's honestly so sweet of him

[@alphazero924]

You should look up the canned pumpkin guy. He was the source of the missing ingredients tests and it was RIDICULOUS. He went to the store to get stuff for thanksgiving or whatever and his wife forgot to put canned pumpkin on their grocery list when he knows she makes pumpkin bars every year, and instead of just grabbing it, he called his wife once, didn't get an answer, then bought everything else and just left the store. And when she called back and told him that, yeah, they do need canned pumpkin, he REFUSED to go back, saying that he was teaching her a lesson.

[@IjeomaThePlantMama]

He sounds psycho

[@BananaGeekLord]

While I hate the test, I would say that "teaching her a lesson" is probably even more disgusting.

[@SilverDragonJay]

That is exceptionally stupid, especially since pumpkin puree is very shelf stable. Worst case senerio, they already have it for next year or they make something pumpkin related during the year.

[@Samantha_76]

The problem is he's a comedian and that was a bit. He and his wife did several follow ups. He rage baited the audience

[@angelikaskoroszyn8495]

It reminds me of the people who punish their partners with withdrawal of sex. It's 100% normal to not want to be intimate with someone because you're angry at them. Those people are different. They use sex as commodity and treat they partners like children. You did your chores - here comes your candy / blowie

[@teagenthetiefling5296]

If someone took a topless photo of me and posted it to the group chat I would never talk to that person again. I understand the mentality of oh she's giving birth, but giving birth is a very vulnerable time and I would hope a person's partner would want to protect their partner's privacy.

[@judysm95]

I knoooooow that poor girl has to live with her dad having seen her tits LMFAO I would never get over it, ever. That shook me to my core haha

[@melbromley929]

No way would I want a candid snap of me having labour pains in a state of distress to be shared with anyone.

[@StarryEyed0590]

I 1000% would not want pictures like that of me shared and would never share compromising pictures of a partner without permission, but they really should have discussed the birth, taking pictures, videos, and what to do with them BEFORE labor. Then, if he violated my directly communicated wishes, that is a clear disrespect for me, my privacy, and my personhood. But if we failed to discuss it and to set boundaries, I would at least let the father of my newborn explain wtf he was thinking and give him a chance to grovel and make up for it. If he wasn't abjectly sorry, though...

[@avwholesomegamer]

I know what I’d do if someone ELSE treated my spouse like that. I hurt to imagine a world where I was the one she needed protection from 😢

[@nekov4ego]

Having to give a reason why you are single kind of implies that you have to do something to be single when that really isn't the case. You can have a reason but you don't need one. It's the default until you do something to start a relationship.

[@doctorwholover1012]

Literally!! There should be a reason that you're together not a reason you're single!! Being single is our default state!!!

[@oliveherklozoff9398]

I haaaaate being asked why I'm single! Easy answer: because I'm not in a relationship. Is that not how that works? 😂

[@Enriquez2222]

Sometimes it feels like others want you in a relationship more than you want to be in a relationship… and then there’s people who call you single as an insult, like okay happy you got picked but why are you insulted by my singleness 😂😮‍💨

[@Roadent1241]

I usually put it down to "I'm physically and mentally disabled and can't change that and people hate it so...... Crazy cat lady it is. They don't care I'm disabled as long as I feed and shelter them anyway."

[@Roadent1241]

@@Babydoll_Unhinged Wierd, wouldn't my dad count as a worthless person because he's been single for a year now due to the uncurable thing called death? He's been a teacher and mechanic, he's pretty dang useful.

[@eggysalad]

i always tell my boyfriend "there's a new tiktok relationship test!" and he acts like it's a gameshow and he's like "DO IT TO ME!!" and then i ask him the question or whatever and he gives his answer, and then we talk about how silly and most of the time bare minimum it all is.

[@pamelam1101]

That's so cute actually

[@zorro......]

THIS IS CUTE!!! My boyfriend is a bit more on tiktok than me so I always just have to ask what he thinks of it. I think theres something fun about testing him as if it's a quiz but I wouldn't wanna hurt the trust so I hold myself back. Wish I got to do it like it's a gameshow!

[@fairyonice9504]

That’s the best way to do these things. Have a little fun but without the deception that usually comes with them.

[@imaginativefanatic]

Ive heard of the "would you still love me if i was a worm" and the "i want a baby" tests because those were turned into memes that made their way to tumblr, but like i never thought people were taking them seriously and escalating it all to this degree. My dude, your relationship is not a hidden camera reality show.

[@katc2040]

The real issue here is the way people are so desperate to go viral and how we're easily influenced by viral trends

[@harrietdrums]

I've not finished the video yet but I've always found that the health/happiness of a relationship is inversely proportional to how much of it you see on social media

[@mm-ln9sw]

this is so true! my sister in law is the kind of person that posts so much about her relationships and it makes you wonder who she’s trying to convince about how great things between them are 😂 meanwhile my husband and i have been together 10 years this year, neither of us are super active on social media & we almost never take pictures together (i do want to change this even if they never get posted anywhere bc i know someday the lack of pictures of us together will make me so sad) but my point is my husband and i are extremely stable in our relationship and my sister in law is almost never stable in hers and that’s why she has to post about them online so much and how amazingggg and beautifulll her relationship is. it’s one thing to be proud of your relationship, but the more of someone’s personal relationships being displayed on social media, the more i wonder if things are actually that good or if it’s someone just trying to cope and convince themselves.

[@Danthesandman76]

Yes so true! Makes me think of that Sam & Elizabeth drama on tiktok a few weeks ago.. I saw his video first and was like “why is this guy sharing so much before they even go on the first date…” and then boom, a week straight of “I’m a softboi and I actually got a date” content. And then they act surprised when it didn’t work out?? It was so mind boggling to me

[@unconcernedsalad2]

you prophesied the ending of this video

[@msjkramey]

Nah, my cousin got married kind of recently. Her and her husband are very sweet together, and she posts a lot of (harmless) cheesy stuff on TikTok. It started as a way to document their engagement and wedding planning, and then she realized she just liked doing it a lot. Not everything has a secret hidden meaning. They're just having fun together on social media

[@katc2040]

​@@msjkramey that's someone that's been in a relationship for a while

[@marysnyder9405]

Honestly I think the "does he buy pasta/does he call me" is silly. Unless we're having a specific meal that calls for a specific pasta, I just assume I have pasta at the house, because that is almost always true. I do that for myself. If someone sent me to the store with everything for pasta but no pasta on the list, I wouldn't buy it. I would assume you have some. If someone gives you a list of the things they need at the store, I don't think it's incompetent to take their word for it.

[@julianlaresch6266]

I think that was inspired by a guy not getting canned pumpkin and then when his wife called him halfway back home he refused to turn around

[@vivianloney]

​@@julianlaresch6266 was that one where the guy went and posted about it on tiktok to complain about his wife being annoyed? I never bother to keep up with that app but somehow heard about it secondhand.

[@Mila-Rosa]

​@@julianlaresch6266 I believe he KNEW they didn't have canned pumpkin from what I remember of that debacle

[@nought3060]

So your telling me the guy wouldn't be called out for demeaning her intelligence if he called and asked if she forgot to put pasta or pumpkin on the list?

[@marysnyder9405]

@@nought3060 no, because I live in the real world

[@samanthaw.861]

When I started dating my husband I thought it was so weird that he wasn’t on any social media. Turns out he was ahead of the curve.

[@BritaMooreKutz]

Same. I'm so glad he isn't.

[@plantmutual9482]

My partner is severely offline, he's a mailman so he doesn't even have time for social media. It's really fun because I'm the sole internet culture interpreter in our relationship, when I was explaining the orange test to him, he was bewildered.

[@chinrys06]

Lol my bf has a Reddit and Discord account and he's barely active in either.

[@cooliostarstache5474]

Swell is pretty much my only gateway into knowing about the greater internet. Otherwise I'm just in my small niches on reddit and that's it. I used to be a lot more involved with online stuff but I realized it was absolutely destroying my mental health. Even this video is depressing me

[@jw7500]

There's a reason why I only have KZbin. I wouldn't be caught dead with TikTok.

[@rolfs2165]

The weirdest orange test I've seen is one where she says "I feel like an orange" - and he's just down for a deep discussion about what that feels like. Which was apparently the wrong answer?

[@Nassifeh]

This is the first one where I genuinely hope they broke up afterwards, because someone needs to appreciate that.

[@spanishislandsquattingduck3175]

that is actually the only correct answer

[@meowllorie]

i think i know what video you’re talking about and it confused me so much. why were they acting like that 😭

[@theupwardspiral1580]

Thats so pure lol someone will appreciate it. Its whats your favorite dish-id say mugs bc theyre easy to hold vibes...and im here for it lol

[@sebastianmosqueda5959]

Maybe the proper answer was "Do you want me to 'peel' you? 😏"

[@ravenclawesome9093]

As a gay man, its always been genuinely disturbing to me how normalized toxic relationships between het couples are so agressively normalized in almost every fasset of life. The bickering couple trope on most TV, passive jokes about truly despising the one you're married to/dating, the idea that a man and woman hating each other inevitably leads to a relationship, and ofc every husband or boyfriend who expects to be coddled and praised as if the woman were his mother. I shouldn't feel like I dodged a bullet just by not being straight, standards for het relationships NEED to be higher than they are.

[@Erichwanh]

The 80s were peak "WIFE BAD!!" era, IMHO. Sam Kinison, Married w/ Children, etc etc. I think healthy relationships are slowly becoming far more normalized, across whatever spectrum you look. It's worlds better than before.

[@bagelqueen8340]

ur sooo right, and as a lesbian who used to date men, this general culture among heteros of “it’s normal to not like your partner/the opposite sex” made me think what i felt was normal for the longest time. like my relationship w a man was very toxic and i was always questioning whether or not i was happy or liked it but assumed that my experience was just what it was like bc that’s how people talk abt it! now that i’m out of that and out of the closet i see it so clearly. i feel so bad for so many girls who are dating men

[@lauryntonio]

as a lesbian - yeah idk 😭 being gay feels like a little release from straight men for me... and it shouldn't??! i think men are attractive aesthetically but could never personally date one not bc of men in general, but bc i don't want to serve the role of a woman in a hetero relationship bc of the assumed emotional + household labor that it entails? i can't trust the average straight man to be emotionally mature enough or to treat me as an equal and it's always been absurd to me my whole life what the expectations for a hetero relationship seem to be

[@jin394]

I'm still unsure if I'm gay or bi, but it's stuff like this that makes me hesitant to get into a 'het' relationship. I know if I were to date a women it would still be a queer relationship and I hate gender roles so really wouldn't mirror typical het relationships. I wouldn't date someone who felt the need to test me or do any of the other things you mentioned regardless of their gender, I'd rather stay single.

[@sapphosgirlfriend]

So true! I’m lesbian and I truly believe that relationships should be a source of support, love, compassion, and connection. Of course arguments can happen, and your partner will annoy you sometimes. But I despise the idea that “hating” your partner is normal. I want to be so in love!!! Not bickering 24/7

[@plodiN3]

I've been single for so long I forgot that people in relationships are not automatically happy. Thanks for the reminder.

[@Enriquez2222]

Being single is a blessing, already you’re extending your lifespan

[@Vampress09]

I've been single so long I forgot that the general public thinks getting in a relationship makes you happy.

[@Angryoyster]

I literally don’t understand “testing” your partner. In my humble opinion that makes YOU the problem. Like communication is great and works. Everyday I’m so grateful for my dad, we lived a traditional family household. So my mum stayed at home and my dad worked. But if my mum was away, sick, or just over stressed my dad was right there to pick up the slack. He learned to do mine and my sisters hair, he made sure as soon as he got home from work the laundry would get done and meals got prepared. My dad worked at 9-5 Monday to Friday, but he made sure if my mum couldn’t perform her job for whatever reason he would be right there for her work double time. I remember one week in my childhood my mum was so sick she literally couldn’t leave bed, my dad would be up at 4am making sure us 4 kids had lunch for the day, got us dressed, drove us to school, went to work, skipped his lunch break so he could pick us up, went back to work, came home, made dinner, helped my younger brother and I have a bath, read to us, tucked us in bed. And right when he thought he could take a small break and yah know get some rest. I myself threw up and he was with me the whole night making sure I was okay. This was day 2 of my mum being sick. My dad isn’t perfect but I know without a shadow of a doubt he loves my mum. Because to him he does not remember this week, as he says “why would taking care of my wife and kids be a stand out week. I chose to marry your mum and I chose to have 4 kids, I chose to be the breadwinner along with being a husband and a father that is all my job”.

[@sweetembrace6706]

communication works in healthy, well adjusted people. it does not work with bad people. which is the point of 'tests'. because people are not always honest. you cannot 'communicate' someone into revealing their actual expectations. weird how its always 'actions are louder than words' until women use it to protect themselves and their futures. such a wild coincidence.

[@TwoForFlinchin1]

​@@sweetembrace6706 but if you communicate and you don't need tests. You just compare your partner's actions to their words and tell them what you you perceive.

[@theaceofswords]

this made me cry, it’s so sweet 😭 your family sounds wonderful :’) i’m happy you had this experience growing up! also i def agree that “testing” your partner is problematic

[@Enriquez2222]

@@TwoForFlinchin1have you met gaslighters, direct communication rarely works with them😂

[@TwoForFlinchin1]

@@Enriquez2222 then it's completely up to you whether or not you associate but oranges do not help you determine when you're being gaslit. Listening does

[@dia7506]

the grocery store list question thing stems from a husband who made a video on tiktok about how his wife was going to make a pumpkin pie or cake or something, and she sent him to the store with a list but pumpkin puree was not on the list and he had the thought that she would need it so he called her to ask, but she was busy and didn't answer so he didn't buy it and then she called back when he was out of the store and in the parking lot and he told her why he called and she was like oh yeah i do need it could you go back and he said no because she needed to be taught a lesson about putting things on lists and answering the phone when he calls and she had to go to the store to get it herself. the big thing was that he framed it like can you guys believe my idiot wife, and so women asked their partners if they got sent to the store with a list and something they thought she would need was not on it and she didn't answer a phone call, if they would buy it.

[@lisahoshowsky4251]

Woah, eww. I hate that. Both the original guys mindset and the turning of it into a test by social media. I have a lot of personal experience tied into grocery shopping and shitty “games” a family member would play with it so I feel like I’ve seen and experienced a lot of “lessons” being taught through groceries and this is so similar to what they’d do. I also personally hate the idea we need to be constantly tied to our phones for any little reason that might come up, the convenience is nice when you need it but to “teach a lesson” because they weren’t immediately answering for the length of time of a grocery shop is maddening. He didn’t need to be a mind reader or remember it without it on the list but he also didn’t need to teach her a lesson over a common oversight and being busy when he called.

[@XaurianQueen]

What's wrong with an extra can of pumpkin? That way you have it if you need it, and if you have extra that's an excuse to make another pie.

[@elaz925]

@@XaurianQueen That was a part that annoyed people because he tried to justify it like "Well if I buy it and she has it then its a waste" as if canned pumpkin isn't both cheap and lasts like 2 years.

[@julianlaresch6266]

@elaz925 you're right in that it won't expire but imagine every time I go shopping I buy 1 can of pumpkin now I have 10 cans and nowhere to store them (limited pantry space)

[@katie4572]

​@@julianlaresch6266 but are you buying all the other ingredients for pumpkin pie and know that's what's being made every week? Also if you remember that you've had an extra can of pumpkin (or 10) then obviously skip the pumpkin.

[@SuperFoxdemon]

I ask my cat to peel me an orange. He obviously doesn’t love me 😒

[@boosqueezy2418]

omg i asked my cat too! he meowed and walked away. guess he doesn’t love me lol

[@marymaza2187]

Every time I feel lonely being ace, I look at these 'relationship tests' tiktoks, and I feel lucky that I don't have a partner asking me to peel an orange under the veiled threat of tiktok-approved break-up.

[@Ace_with_cake]

I agree. I've always been pretty turned off by dating culture growing up as ace/demi. Social media really doesn't help with any of it.

[@sweetembrace6706]

it says so much that people have a bigger issue with 'relationship tests' than that is completely normal and EXPECTED for men to be horrible partners. you find women confirming men have shitty behavior to be worse than the behavior itself. its one of so many reasons we will NEVER be free.

[@Lemoncakelover678]

​@@sweetembrace6706two things can be bad at once. Relationship tests are shit, so are some of the responses like that one guy

[@katc2040]

​@sweetembrace6706 you literally have to teach a man how to treat you right it's so fucking annoying

[@ThePrototype047]

As you can see from this comment thread homie there are no right answers. Stay safe out there.

[@sydmia03]

The only thing that the ‘peel my orange’ content has done for me is make me crave citrus. I’ve gone through a whole bag of oranges

[@dbul2542]

It’s all a guerilla marketing campaign by Big Citrus!😂

[@natisfreezing]

People using "will my bf peel my orange" as a test is so weird. Imagine being a couple's therapist and you ask them why they are there and they reply "he didnt peel my orange, can you believe that?!"

[@josiealamusic]

If you feel a need to test your partner in the first place, you probably know deep down something isn’t right… In a real loving relationship you make things EASIER for each other. You help each other, you clarify things. If something is wrong you talk it out, you don’t “test each other” for millions of people to see…

[@judysm95]

This. I’ve seen some very weird takes from people justifying “testing.” Just witness and analyze their normal behavior. I don’t understand if they’re trying to uncover something under the surface that isn’t obvious (you would eventually encounter from getting to know someone) or mislabel harmless behaviors as insidious or abusive. Either way, you only have the information you’re given to go off of, why are we creating tests and investigations trying to dig for bad characteristics. IMO folks like this would be significantly happier single

[@lexiketcham489]

the orange peel test seemed weird to me because wouldn't you know if your partner would do it for you based on how they treat you regularly? like I know my partner would do it for me if I asked because of all the small things he does for me daily (getting me water without me asking, helping me do different things, offering to do things for me, etc.)

[@kingworm7168]

That’s what I was saying to someone else the other day. I feel like if they “fail” this test, there were 100 other red flags before this

[@elalala576]

I agree,these are probably the last straw,the last chance the tiktok posters usually women are giving to their partner from their perspective.

[@Segphalt]

I can't think of any girlfriend I have had that I wouldn't have peeled the orange for. (when asked, cause never in my life had it even occurred to me to peel an orange for someone when they asked for one) However, during the peeling I would be sitting there thinking "Is this level of neediness going to be normal?"

[@VainCarstairs]

Exactly! I know without a doubt that my boyfriend would do it and separate it and bring a cup of water as well. I would do the exact same thing for him. We love doing these little things for eachother.

[@msjkramey]

​@Segphalt how is being asked to peel an orange "needy"? Lol

[@drewjay8940]

19:11 Even if it's not FAKE per se, it's a well known thing that people will behave differently if they know they're being observed + by how many people. It's something you read about if you take a class on experiment design. The boyfriends are going to act weird because they may not know exactly what the intended result is, but they know they might end up on tiktok.

[@judysm95]

Goes both ways too - maybe the boyfriends are acting extra sweet or accommodating because they know people are watching rather than how they’d act if it happened in real life with no audience.

[@tanyabui1372]

I deleted tiktok for so many reasons but easy peasy, the top reason was relationship tiktoks!!! Literally made me so anxious and paranoid about my relationship over shit that didn't even matter, the constant " signs hes cheating " , " he loves you if he.." , etc. is so toxic :/

[@kingworm7168]

God that puzzle one made my stomach drop. It was just so so mean

[@GeneralNickles]

No it was obviously a bit for the video. Your first clue is "why was she filming to begin with?"

[@MFGEEDORAH]

The true relationship test is when you dont instigate it but when it happens naturally.

[@RosieG9012]

No one should make you feel bad about being single! I turn 34 this year and I’m still single, for similar reasons. I’ve been busy with other things, and I don’t like anyone very often. It’s not a big deal 🤷‍♀️

[@ASK2286]

Making a mess and then ordering someone to clean it up is infuriating.

[@ann-gt4hh]

All I keep thinking about is how my relationship with my partner improved by bounds after I started therapy. Not even just for trying to deal the mental illnesses and trauma, but with just learning how to talk about emotions. And our relationship beforehand wasn’t bad at all. This just. We communicate so clearly now, we thought we communicated before but this is wayyy better. I think a lot of people could benefit from therapy in this way.

[@pennypincher1232]

It’s not just tiktok it’s everywhere. I got ate up when I told someone they can only adjust their own actions and if they don’t want to divorce they need to make changes to their own actions, words, or what they accept in their life. I think this trend stems from the cultural expectation and indoctrination of women to accept subpar love, attention, affection etc. there are many reasons why we make women feel this way and this is like (hopefully) a transition period where we stop allowing these things.

[@iamjustkiwi]

The amount of people who get married thinking the can fix someone into something they actually like is insane. Hence all the boomers loving their lol i hate my partner humor

[@pennypincher1232]

@@iamjustkiwi exactly it’s honestly hard to watch. my friend’s husband clearly doesn’t like her most days yet he wanted a wife and children and she was wanted the same. It’s gross tbh the way he sometimes mocks her makes me want to punch him

[@thedj9553]

I'm glad Amanda exists to tell me what's going on on TikTok so I never need to download TikTok

[@laurencarroll8947]

This entire video is an aromantic mood

[@mistyeyedreamer]

The orange thing is so hilarious to me because my partner hates sticky things, so if they asked me for an orange I would of course peel it for them... but what's more likely is that I'd peel an orange for myself because I wanted one, and they'd open their mouth while sitting next to me for a slice to be deposited

[@Ratxmother]

I’m SO glad there’s a name for what I experienced in terms of ‘weaponised incompetence’. It’s so frustrating, and I can’t even begin to explain how demeaning it is to wake up one day and realise ‘oh my god, I’m his mother now’.

[@faithlessghoul1149]

swell, i just turned spinster age. we could be 18th century living partners who history will say were best friends.

[@ERYN__]

I had a baby about a month ago. It's been an interesting experience. I was in the hospital for 3 days before inducing labor. Those days, husband was going home to sleep, care for the cats, and bring in rushed baby purchases, instead of sleeping on the "dad couch" the night before I had the worst possible heartburn possibly other symptoms but I was scared because it was something I never felt before. He comforted me to sleep, and we agreed that it was time for him to move into the room with me. His parents agreed to take care of our pets while we were away. Baby arrived and would spend a few weeks in NICU. I was more incapacitated because I had to be on drugs that made me dizzy. I had an IV in my hand because I ran out of places to be poked, and couldn't use my dominant hand. He would literally hold one of the breast pumps for me. He's done more of the child care because I temporarily can't. A NICU nurse thought I had postpartum depression because I'm introverted, and wasn't doing as much of the cares for our baby. No, I just don't want to end up on the floor and readmitted to the hospital for fainting.

[@rigby321]

The puzzle one wasn't a joke as far as I remember, it was her ex and she'd already left him

[@athenajaxon2397]

that's horrible

[@DragonRiderShiru]

Nope she posted a followup claiming it was a joke it was staged.

[@maitaniyama]

Thank you for being on Tiktok so I don’t have to. I appreciate it

[@sardafade]

This kind of stuff makes me even more afraid of dating as an autistic person

[@Nassifeh]

For real, especially how often it's not "does your partner peel the orange if asked" but "does your partner psychically know to peel the orange". Honestly, I'm so happy I'm in a relationship with another seriously neurodivergent person where we just ask each other directly for stuff.

[@sardafade]

@@Nassifeh fr, like if my partner directly went "can you peel this orange for me" I'd do it no questions ask, but if my partner just went "I'm hungry" theres 0 way for me to even know they want me to peel an orange for them, TikTok relationship trends make no sense

[@badbitcheswalkthrough8195]

Pro-tip from a brother in arms, just date other autistics! Best relationship I’ve ever had, so much easier when you can communicate in the same ways and be fully understood.

[@madammarshmallow9468]

Same. I'm glad I don't have to do it anymore, because I went through a lot of soul crushingly awful relationships before I found a good one

[@ischristinaok]

amaanda explaining why she's single right now is honestly the most accurate bisexual dating experience right now

[@kvarner6886]

If my partner sent me to the store and didn't put something on the list, even if it went together with the rest of the list, I doubt I would buy it! I'd probably assume we already had enough. In fact, I've accidentally bought that type of ingredient before and found out we already had a bunch at home and it didn't get used in time and we had to throw it out. I don't feel like not automatically buying a "missing" ingredient is "failing to follow simple instructions." And I'm a woman, if that matters.

[@Teddy-hp9zy]

I was literally thinking this exact same thing. Sometimes I run out of pasta before I run out of sauce and vice versa.

[@angelikaskoroszyn8495]

That's the issue with TikTokfication of everything. Every short interaction has to have some deeper meaning It doesn't help that USA is a car centric hell-hole so for many people going shopping means being stuck in traffic In my case going back to buy something I forgot means wasting max 15 minutes Anyways brain worms and bad city planning

[@EnriqueMaxx]

I'm glad you called out those "Tell me your man won't cheat on you" videos cause I personally hate them so much. Each time the guy looks so genuinely happy their lady asks them about their hobbies that it's just sad af that they're low key being made fun of.

[@spideysnooch]

The puzzle video broke my heart. You can see the pain and disappointment in her eyes. Also, the "you're not that special" orange video. Also, Amanda, I would still watch if you were a worm.

[@seemsfishy23]

I feel like if my boyfriend asked me to get him an orange I wouldn’t think to peel it. If he squirted ketchup and asked me to clean it up I would be horrified. If he filmed me and posted it publicly without my knowledge so I can be scrutinized by strangers online, I would break up with him. I also get that there is an assumption of labor imbalances within male/female relationships because of how people assume women have been socializing to take the brunt of chores but that’s just not always true. I am a total trash goblin in comparison to my boyfriend. I am caring and loving but I just don’t take note of certain domestic acts the same way he does. And I’m not a worse partner or worse girlfriend, or even more, a worse WOMAN, because of it. Lots of people will fail tests like these and it’s not a sign of how much someone cares.

[@chengliu872]

I feel you on the division of labor thing. I almost always wash the dishes because my wife hates doing it and many people are surprised. When I am away for work (which happens semi-regularly) she moans on the phone about how much she hates doing dishes.

[@angelikaskoroszyn8495]

And just because someone failed the test it's not the end of the world. Your partner could say something like "could you also peel the orange?" And then, maybe he would ask "could you peel an orange for me?" Jesus. Communication is a good thing

[@DemocratSocialistRob]

There’s an NPR episode (can’t remember the show) that covers women going on strike because they feel undervalued. It really emphasized on how household things tends to fall upon women of the household.

[@CasualKing21]

One of my favorite things about the orange peel thing is all the autistic ppl on TikTok saying that they didn't know they're supposed to do it because their partner didn't ask them directly to do it lol.

[@Segphalt]

The vast majority of people have never peeled an orange for another adult in their life because it isn't a normal thing to do. (Seriously consider the number of times you have peeled an orange for another adult.) If I asked my girlfriend to bring me an orange and she brought me a peeled one I'd think it was more strange it was peeled not that if it wasn't.

[@SW-oc2pp]

@@Segphaltagreed! Like, what if I wanted to put the peeled orange in my purse for a snack later? 🤔🤣

[@mimisdoe]

Hearing about this orange peel test makes me sad 😭😭😭 my fiancé and I’s thing has been him always peeling oranges for me since we started dating three years ago. We both love oranges and he started it naturally. Our wedding vows are going to include us sharing an orange and peeling it together In return I make him tea and fill his water bottle. Oranges are just big symbols to us!

[@carolinesch.]

The ketchup thing was sad in the video I saw, she just said hey I spilled some can you wipe it away I am busy, and the spread it all over the counter while 'cleaning' and then said well why do you ask me to do that and then complain when its not the way you want it, while he literally could clean it up like any functional adult andade it in a way that the whole counter had to be cleaned insted of that little drop

[@Segphalt]

In the deleted scenes the boyfriend responds with "Well you don't use a bidet"

[@katc2040]

​@@Segphaltwtf

[@jin394]

The thing that got me about the orange peeling, I saw one video of a girl asking her boyfriend, he said no and she replied "but I hate the feeling", and all I could think is 'what if he also hates the feeling? are guy not allowed to have sensory issues too?' If someone asked me to peel an orange, I would assume they have some reason as to not be able to (like having just gotten their nails done or just struggling with it) and I would do it even though it also gives me sensory issues and I don't like doing it. So if afterwards, I found out they were capable but just filming a tiktok to 'test me', I would absolutely feel betrayed and it would make me hesitant to do other things they asked because what if they're just testing me. And yes, I figure in a relationship you do just do silly little tasks for each other because you want to and I may also be single, but I do this stuff with friends, and I would still feel betrayed to know it's a setup. It also makes me feel like they'd be laughing behind my back or talking my back and I HATE that.

[@elalala576]

"what if he also hates the feeling?" I don't know maybe they can say that then,I haven't seen a single video where the guy responded that way.

[@mayrapakastin]

Also, saying "I kind of want an orange" and getting upset at your partner for not getting and peeling one for you without asking is just catty relationship sabotage behaviour. Totally different situation if you straight up ask and they refuse in a mean or shitty way.

[@jin394]

@@mayrapakastin Definitely. I haven't watched that many, so idk how many just expect them to get the orange or peel it without asking for it specifically. I'd hope not that many

[@meaganadwyer]

I agree with the video thing to a point...I have horrible mental health and physical health issues and my husband has, for the past decade, been my absolute rock. He takes such good care of me, and I try to do the same for him. We dated for five years before we got married, and our marriage day was a comedy of errors. I was so beyond stressed by the time we got to the vows, and he saw it and wanted to try to do his best to make me feel better. In his autistic brain, what made the most sense in that moment was to make me laugh. So he started ad libbing a little bit to the vows. "For better... and most definitely for worse." "In sickness and in health... but we all know it will mostly be sickness." The preacher told him to stick to the script, and it got a few chuckles from everybody present, including me. If anyone had a short clip of that moment, I could see how people who didn't know him or me or our relationship would think he was being a jerk, when he was just trying to make me laugh and de-stress. Sometimes clips don't really tell the whole story of a relationship or a situation.

[@annajensen7360]

Your story sounds beautiful, I hope your health is doing better

[@theelk801]

it’s funny that you say “baking bread on a tuesday” and I’m kneading dough while watching on a tuesday

[@cokeycola9514]

I've been in the same relationship for 10 years, basically since highschool. We both think we would die in the dating game if we were single at this point in time. I just would simply not participate. I feel so SO bad for every genuine person out there trying to find a partner in this hellscape.

[@k8eee]

same here and I couldn't imagine being put through any of this... I look around and just feel lucky for having what should be the bare minimum in a relationship, a partner who communicates directly with me

[@elucified]

I think part of the orange peel test thing is that a lot of women like to one-up eachother by doing these tests to prove that their SO is better than other people's SO's and then they sit on their couch giving themselves a pat on the back because it reaffirms their own sense of self 🤷‍♀ We've had this kind of comparing since the beginning of time with the comparison of how much partners make, what they do, how accomplished they are, etc.

[@littlejourneyseverywhere]

My daughter's dad and i aren't in a relationship but we're best friends and cohabitate to raise her together. I stay home to see to get education and take care of the house but occasionally go and work side jobs on the weekends. I like having the opportunity to make a little extra money to add to our house budget order to save up for something that I just want to get myself without having to dip into the house budget. HOWEVER part of me dreads it because i know, without fail, every time i come home from working, I'm going to have to clean because inevitably the house will be dirty. I'm really not 100% sure he knows how to clean at this point. We just had a big coming to Jesus moment because he made a little joke at my expense about how I keep the house and it wasn't the first time he had. I told him if he didn't feel like I was doing a good job then I would just stop taking care of things and he could do his own dishes and his own laundry and pick up the house on his own after he got off of work which we both know he won't do and after a week we would see how he felt about my housekeeping abilities. He has not made another joke about it since. ✌️🖕

[@littlejourneyseverywhere]

@@cyancyborg1477 No worries! We are best friends but we don't view each other in a romantic or sexual way. We used to be in a relationship but eventually found that we were happier together as friends. We've had other partners since then and we're each other's biggest wingmen (and winglady!) and are super supportive of one another's relationships. It's like... Living with your bestie and just happening to have a kid together lol our breakup was very mutual and very peaceful and there weren't any hurt feelings so it works for us but it definitely doesn't work like that for most people. We're very lucky that way :)

[@palyername]

baffled by the shopping list test. why would he think to get something on the list that wasn't there. idk if my partner gave me a list i would assume that they had competently listed all of the things that we need to get at the store instead of second guessing them and if my boyfriend came back from the store without the thing i didn't put on the list i wouldn't blame him for thinking i'd checked and deliberately excluded it

[@VainCarstairs]

The puzzle one makes me so sad because I love puzzles and I would literally cry if someone did that, specially my boyfriend. I'd never be able to look at him the same way.

[@samwalker7866]

All that test content on tiktok sent me into a spiral with my partner. We've been together for 4.5 years and I've never had a complaint! All those stupid trends is what made me stop using tiktok. I was questioning everything he was or wasn't doing and when, what I was doing and when. It made me feel like I was in a contest! I've since apologized to him but I've never been so influenced by anything in my life before!! I can't even believe I was acting like that. I appreciate all the grace he gave me during that time

[@dcgamer1027]

There is a qoute I like to keep in mind which is "the kind of confidence that comes from competence, not arrogance" Which basically means you should not be confident just to feel confident you should have a reason to be confident and that reason should be your competence. Seeing these examples of 'relationships' has given me a new one "the kind of confidence that comes from other's incompetence" hoh oh boy. I got issues but I am a catch if these people are anything to go by. Lets go!

[@spiderslayer372]

I guess but at the same time I feel being confident just to be confident is good it's when you think your automatically an expert is when things go wrong

[@drewjay8940]

22:04 I wonder if this test is in response to the comedian who bragged about how he refused to get pumpkin because his wife did not explicitly tell him that she needs PUMPKIN in order to make PUMPKIN bars. She was busy, so couldn't drop everything when he called. He refused to text her, even though he KNEW she would see it, and he refused to buy a can of pumpkin (which is dirt cheap and lasts forever) unless his wife dropped everything, called him, and explicitly told him that PUMPKIN BARS contain pumpkin.

[@sgtmajor5700]

Single. Don't have to ask permission. Don't have to ask what they want to eat. Can ignore the holiday of expensive meals.

[@skarlettemango6744]

Okay the "test" that involves the grocery stores makes *no* sense to me. Am I insane for thinking that if it ain't on the list we have it at home? Or just like, ask at home when you are given the list if there's something that seems off? Is it because I'm neurodivergent that I think like this? I'm asking this as someone who's AFAB. The rest of the "tests" I can at least figure out why people would get upset over x result.

[@sparklysapphic2556]

yeah, i completely agree with you- just ask??? that seems most logical to me?

[@sparklysapphic2556]

but like, if I forgot to put pasta on my pasta ingredients list, I would not get mad at a partner for assuming that we had pasta at home because that's a reasonable assumption and if I didn't put it on the list then why would they buy it

[@skarlettemango6744]

@@sparklysapphic2556 Exactly my thinking! And I know I always forget to put stuff on the list when shopping for just myself and I don't realize it until I get home so why would I expect them to know to get pasta.

[@ekdukes]

thank you so much for making this video. I've cut most of social media out of my life, sans for what I have to use it for for work stuff. besides that, I now completely avoid relationship videos because it was such a trigger point for me while I was working through a hard period of time in my own relationship. we're in such a good place now, not just because of the work we've done but because I'm no longer looking for videos of ppl being like "here's what MY partner does every day to make me feel loved" when my partner doesn’t do that, but does other things to make me feel loved.

[@kingworm7168]

Not a test, at least not purposefully, my husband always sasses me when I aggressively open things. I am a nail girly and have had my nails done religiously for years now and will sometimes break a nail 😞 So he always volunteers to open/peel/unbox anything I might struggle with. 😊

[@kaibaiarrio1299]

Some of these just feel like a power trip man, and also some of these feel like they could veer into ableist territory (ie, the 'grocery list' test, where someone purposely leaves out an ingredient that's needed to see if their partner will just KNOW its needed. As someone with adhd i can forget things and sometimes i straight up dont realize "oh i need x thing" unless its written down)

[@aprilambrym7728]

weaponized incontinence > weaponized incompetence

[@Beppphhhh]

Just sat down for lunch, ty swell

[@hannahedmond4388]

I took the act of peeling an orange for someone as doing small things for you to make you smile, like ten equivalent of when you ask for water and they add ice as well, or cutting the crust off of sandwiches.

[@bearboosi]

omg when that third tiktoker chimed in to explain the hetero couple's story i wanted to go to space. why am i existence????

[@liwashere8653]

If canned pumpkin wasn't on the list I would assume we already had it. One thanksgiving everyone assumed they were ones who were supposed to by the canned pumpkin and we ended up with five cans.

[@ThatGuy-uv2br]

Honestly being a spinster is very iconic. You only have to worry and care about yourself and get to do whatever you want on your schedule. And I think that's something to brag about.

[@_Mimi_711]

A what?

[@emjay6258]

hello fellow spinster! I have chosen the single with cats life because i haven't seen a marriage that seems happy and healthy. Could it be confirmation bias? Maybe. Could it be my problematic commitment issues that i haven't dealt with? that probably doesn't help. But i don't want a man-child as a partner. So i shall stay single surrounded by my mountain of cats

[@AaronHendu]

What is the masc version of a spinster? Cause that is me. I have a Lionhead bunny vs a crew of kitties...but I have been wanting to get her a friend. I spent most of my life tied to toxic partners...last one tried to.murder me.leaving me permamemtly disabled. After that, it was easy to realize I prefer my owm company these days and have nwver beem happier with my love life lol

[@emjay6258]

hot damn dude. talk about relationship trauma. i think guys are just considered a bachelor. i also looked up what a lionhead bunny was and my god they are ADORABLE @@AaronHendu

[@jessip8654]

There are tons of awesome dudes out there. The issue is you have to search for them, which is exhausting. It seems harder than ever to date these days too, since you pretty much have to do online dating, which sucks donkey doo.

[@athenajaxon2397]

mood

[@ace.l.w]

If Amanda chooses to have a parter in the near future, I would absolutely love Spider-Man suit style anonymity if their arm appears in the video or something incidentally lmao. Especially if it’s badly CGI’d on top? 10/10

[@Tomyotan]

My jaw’s been agape when I saw videos of girls coaching their boyfriends if another girl even came up to greet them and basically expecting to stonewall the person. When I mentioned how expecting that showed either you have trust issues, have a reason not to trust your partner, or don’t trust your social spaces to respect the boundaries of your relationship, I got a lot of people just reenforcing how it was normal to expect your boyfriend to cut off female friendships. Sometimes it really feels like a whole different concept in queer spaces (the cliche that we’re never fully monogamous) but I was dumbfounded when for me even in my first relationship, my boyfriend and I easily trusted very affectionate platonic relationships. It’s not trying to say it’s all perfect but there’s always a point when I hop out of that bubble and interact with heteronormative culture to see these really horrible dynamics; both men who don’t respect their partners or even just women in their lives and women who hype up their underperforming guys but also have it ingrained in them how to only really expect worse of them and even treating cheating just an inevitability if you’re not guarding them. When I saw the orange peel trend, at points I was sympathetic because it’s this want for a small act of love, in some sense bringing it up makes them consider down the road how it’s something you like, and literally I do have people in my life who peel an orange and give me part of it and it’s heartwarming when it happens. Songs like “We’ll never have sex” are popular for the same reasons because of how receiving acts of love in bad relationships are just transactions for what the other person wants later. But ironically they’re equally making it transactional by bringing in the third party of social media, so many of the videos had them smugly acting coy and glancing at the camera alerting to how something was off and you hear how uncomfortable their partners are from it. The validation isn’t for their partner, it’s for social media. Whatever the outcome it will result in some gratification from the viewers for his relationship performance. I think the internet has reached a point where it really needs to be something people have a conversation on in their relationships. As an artist, it is basically required I be some sort of online personality and around other artists it’s basically a given that all of you might show of your personal life very candidly with there being a whole yearly tradition to autobio your day the first day of February(what timing). The moment I was looking at a potential relationship outside the space of a media maker, it was hard to grasp that they didn’t want their life put out there. It made me have to sit a moment needing partners who could understand that I would be willing to not put them on blast without their permission but would need to understand in return that I would be near constantly online and that content making could bleed into everyday life. And that’s as someone whose brand isn’t tied to their real face like it is with the average TikTok star. I’m always worried these days if people truly understand if they want to be social media personalities and how to not curate their lives so visibly online.

[@katc2040]

I mean, gay culture cheating is a huge problem. And it's usually with a friend.

[@SummerAlleriaWindrunner]

I know that this is selfish of me ok, but I am 100% GRATEFUL about what she said at the end lol. A few of my favorite KZbinrs have permanently incorporated their partners into their videos, and I'm very happy for them, but I tend to only watch content of ONE person talking because it's easiest to follow along as BG noise. I have to look at the screen more with two people so my watch time accidentally drops on collaboration vids 😓

[@dennyt2704]

As soon as you need to "test" your partner, there's something wrong. I wouldn't care if my wife asked for an orange, or even wanted me to peel it, but if she were to ask it as a "test" we've already failed. I don't care if it's recorded or not, there's something wrong and we obviously missed some discussion along the way.

[@ti9372]

I thought that the "show me why your boyfriend wouldn't cheat on you without telling me why your boyfriend wouldn't cheat on you" was more about the hobbies being more interesting to the guys than other girls. I assumed it was pro lovable nerd not anti, maybe I'm wrong.

[@YurinanAcquiline]

That is what I thought too. And I still agree.. But I got a really bad feeling seeing the Pokemon one. Like, how do I put it. He could find a girl with the same interests as him in the gane and still cheat.

[@tripleoof8159]

Men don't look at other girls because "they are more interested in their hobbies". They don't cheat simply because they are good partners who equally want to work hard to maintain a healthy relationship. 'Nerd' hobbies shouldn't dictate whether a person cheats or not; it's irrelevant to their behavior as partners. And it's kinda weird to assume otherwise.

[@89ji36]

Once again you are my link to TikTok and finding out wtf is going on over there. As you were describing a lot of these "tests" I found myself getting a bit stressed because I'm terrible with unspoken rules and knowing what people want from me if they don't say it. Even just the orange test seems like something I'd "fail" because I don't like other people touching my food so I wouldn't want to do it to someone else. Hopefully very few people take these things seriously and strange "tests" alone aren't commonly used to figure out if someone cares about you.

[@BijouxBianco]

That puzzle tiktok made me instantly furious.

[@HouriSamatsu]

Swell getting very subtly frustrated in this way is inexplicably hilarious

[@skywares]

Swell Shenanigans lore drop! I never even thought about your orientation lol

[@meow.4972]

She's mentioned being bi a couple times. Though, romantic content is not why I think anyone subs to Amanda 💀 (Ps. I subscribe for her wit and funny laugh. But yes she's bi, and has a green velvet couch )

[@skywares]

@@meow.4972 you're right lol the green velvet couch is a dead giveaway, me and my gf and bf were looking for that exact couch 🤣 yeah I'm subbed for the same reasons, she's always saying exactly what I'd think on a situation!

[@mattwho42]

I would never be in a relationship with someone who is addicted to social media. It's one thing to scroll for a bit and check and respond and make content, but it's another thing when that's your entire personality. Not everything needs to be a test or be a post. We're on this floating rock for a miniscule amount of time, and I'd rather spend that with the person I love than burying our heads in our phones. Maybe that's too "old fashion" at this point.

[@magdalenehagey4079]

I honestly don't understand relationship tests, there are enough stressors and difficulties built into life that will show your partner's character without you manufacturing them (and looking like a psycho while you're at it). Also, stop putting relationships on blast online (and in public). If you feel you need to humiliate your partner to get them to behave the way you want, you should break up instead.

[@scottbuck1572]

This is why I will never date another person; social media has turned literally every interaction into a monetizable moment and I would rather be miserable and alone then participating in that shit

[@labtec514]

I think videos like this are entirely why I wouldn't want to be in a relationship, why would I want to be with someone who thinks broadcasting everything is the solution instead of a mediator or therapist

[@msjkramey]

Do you think this is normal just because it's a trend on TikTok? Lots of weird things go viral online and it doesn't mean everyone is doing them

[@MiyaGb]

Not all relationships are like this lol 😂

[@avwholesomegamer]

17:49 The context and introduction you gave was truly inspiring, I found it convincing and academic! Earlier generations had things like “The Door Test” from A Bronx Tale, and nowadays the meathead, dudebro stuff I get from the algorithm instructs me “just tell her yes, if you were a worm I’d put you in my pocket and take you where you wanna go” with ZERO context.

[@craigjenkins5434]

Barefoot, pregnant, bacon bread on a Tuesday lol

[@averyeml]

I’ve never been more happy to be the Tumblr kind of terminally online instead of the TikTok kind because the concept of “I’m having some deep relationship issues that should be resolved by communication, counseling, breakups, or police, but instead I’ll just post to TikTok” is blowing my mind

[@mitosisjones]

I'm single because as Whoopi Goldberg once said "I don't want somebody in my house"

[@vykcryptid]

The ketchup thing is the type of thing an abusive partner would do to mess with someone - loads of these "tests" seem like that like weird manipulative stuff that's designed to cause an argument rather than just communicating about needs and wants

[@MoochieMary]

I think a lot of people assume weaponized competence for people they see online instead of just straight up, not knowing how to do something properly. My mom was very thorough with teaching us how to clean and holding us to a high standard. My husband's mom did all of the chores, except for laundry which my husband can do on his own perfectly well. A lot of people will not learn how to do something unless they are forced to do it. That's the reason why a lot of people dont know how to cook, because they didn't or dont have to. I think we could all do with throwing the benefit of the doubt to people online since we dont know them