when trauma is trending on TikTok

[@frostykzink]

"I am pro blocking someone because they're annoying." I LOVE that you said this because I feel the internet would be a MUCH more pleasant place if more people did this. I block people for this all the time and it makes social media so much nicer.

[@tylercarey2337]

TikTok became a much more enjoyable app after I started doing this

[@fortywolves]

I do this all over. Hell, I blocked someone in a chat the other day just because they only made bad faith arguments and stupid jokes. You don't need to "withstand" someone just because they're there. They may have just as much a right to the space as you, but you don't need to subject yourself to seeing it.

[@piratebee4553]

I do this, as soon as the algorithm shows me something I don’t like I go straight to that page and block them. I don’t care what other content they make (hell, I might even like what they do usually), but it the quickest way to get something I don’t want to see of my fyp, far more effective that saying I don’t want to see content like that

[@kiwijuice662]

@@piratebee4553I hate that in the not interested part there’s a limit of what phrases or categories u can select not to see/to see

[@hikawagetsbitches]

right. some ppl prob just like to stay pissed off

[@Unfortunately_Mickey]

The theatrical way mental illnesses are portrayed on the internet made me stop talking about my actual struggles to anyone but my care team.

[@gauner1312]

same here

[@tb4546]

Same… got pushed out of an online schizophrenic community when I (surprise) had a delusional episode. Instead of understanding as self proclaimed psychosis advocates, the owners of the server manipulated my delusions and claimed they were stalking me so I would leave. They all talked about the “fun” side of psychosis, seeing shapes and colors, or thinking oneself a creature. But the ugly symptoms were demonized, and I was too when I showed them.

[@cooliostarstache5474]

Isn't how it's supposed to be?

[@tb4546]

@@cooliostarstache5474 We’re supposed to be able to be open about the struggles we go through. A community is built to support everyone in it

[@Saturnm0ss]

@@cooliostarstache5474its your right to want to talk about your mental health struggles openly and publicly, and people inadvertently causing others to stop that isnt right

[@averyeml]

Lmao “the NDA expired because we broke up” girl if there is one time an NDA would START it’s when you broke up, what absolute nonsense

[@webba0342]

" talking about mental health has not become normalised, it has become commercialized. " saw someone say that somewhere a while ago. i get reminded of it every time something like this happens.

[@hope-cat4894]

I realized it was commercialized once I saw cute pins saying "Take your meds!" Yeah... Nice to remind people to take their medicine, but making it into a cutesy pin to wear for fashion is certainly an interesting choice.

[@eveoffillory5752]

​@@hope-cat4894"Did you drink water today?" "Remember to take your meds!" "You've been so strong today, rest." Etc. I hate that stuff. It started off as a genuine reminder to friends but now it just feels performative & condescending .

[@nostalgicfears]

@@eveoffillory5752 sometimes it even makes me upset. no i didnt drink water today. i didnt take my meds. im not strong. i sleep non stop i dont deserve any more rest. :(

[@sarawawa8984]

Louder for the people in the back! I feel like people also should be reminded that it’s okay to NOT share their struggles if they don’t want to. There is power in privacy. Don’t take that choice away from yourself (and don’t let capitalism take it either! We don’t have to monetize our every struggle!!)

[@pri2x0x]

thats a great statement, and a great reminder!

[@saradoane2219]

This is the moment I realize Brooke meant OWNS Birkenstocks not owns a pair of Birkenstocks 💀💀 the whole time I was like why is that tea

[@MS-wh7ec]

Me too!!!! I was so confused lmao

[@ollyotzie]

Omg its the moment for me too lol

[@raereybae]

Hmmm Birkenstocks or Berkin stocks??? Confusing and multiple meanings

[@taylor3022]

@@raereybaewhat’s Berkin stocks?

[@koroconnell]

The trip I've gone on with that statement... First I thought she meant stocks in the form of Birkin bags, then I thought she just meant a pair of Birkenstocks, and now I'm starting to think she meant the company Birkenstocks.

[@HannahTheHorrible]

Her “apartment” (penthouse) she has said is $17k a MONTH. I started side eyeing her when she collabed with Jared Leto a few years ago.

[@mylowe420]

She also collabed with JoJo Siwa the second Karma dropped and all those memes were being made about her. Hayley chooses interesting "friends".

[@SocietalNoob]

that's so random. why Jared Leto? 😂

[@mylowe420]

@socialnoob4853 cuz she was doing weird shit with his met gala costume. She'd previously done Doja Cat's weird ass looks so I think it was just more clout for her tbh. Judging by the way her channel seemed to be going.

[@ree3492]

She's collecting celebrity like a pokemon 😭

[@violetskies14]

I stopped watching her when I saw her with that groomer.

[@tayzerbrain]

Everything is beginning to feel like ‘trauma olympics’. I wish it could be healing Olympics instead. I’ll see a tiktok of a lady expressing how awesome her life is now that she left her husband, and the top comment will be “my husband imprisoned me and yeeted me down the stairs while singing satanic hymns.” It’s strange to me.

[@rhiannonm8132]

i agree, it’s like all we can do is try to invalidate each other. if you don’t have trauma you’re boring and no one cares about your story, if you do have trauma that shit sucks cuz u have trauma AND everyone’s gonna disrespect you about it anyway

[@Mouthfulofsuns]

God that reminds me of something I saw that was like a "real daddy issues vs aesthetic!" And it kinda annoyed me because like???? Do you need to compare? You don't know who's making their struggles into and "aesthetic" Not everyone is ready to open up yet and sometimes it a coping mechanism That person was openly sharing their trauma which is ok but it honestly felt like "trauma Olympics" in the way they did it.

[@patio_daddio_69]

It sucks that it sometimes makes its way into real life. My best friend growing up would not let me disclose any trauma I had to her without it feeling like a competition to see who had the worse life. Like no, we were both abused this isn't a contest. The difference then was we were teenagers. I have no idea how grown adults don't feel immature engaging in this behavior.

[@bishielurfer]

I think sometimes it is a different communication style. Many people (especially, it seems, neurodivergent people) express empathy/try to show support by talking about a experience they've had that relates to the one the person is telling them about. It's meant to be "you're not alone, I understand at least on some level what you're going through" kind of thing. But there can be a real disconnect in how it's intended vs how it's received. If you're talking with someone who has a similar communication style or understands the intent, it can be really cathartic and comforting to relate to someone that way. If you're talking to someone who doesn't communicate that way, it can come across as self-centered or like they're trying to one-up you somehow. Sometimes, though, people do just really not like seeing other people recovering. I think there's various reasons behind it. Maybe it feels unfair, maybe it makes them feel like they're doing something wrong because they're not improving like that, maybe they're just really negative, maybe they want attention, etc. I think, especially if it's someone who the person has related to because of similar trauma or struggles, it can even feel like a betrayal to see them healing. The internet is weird because we have so much access to communicate with other people, but it's all without tone or body language (or with a practiced tone and body language), often in limited characters or time limits, and we don't really know what the person who's posting is thinking.

[@esther-catherine]

Haylee bugged me the second i found out she was an SI model with an NFL husband. Her - "im a normal person" bs is annoying. It feels scummy, like cosplaying as an average person when her apartment is worth more money than i make in a year

[@thebigunodos3559]

I thought the same. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but you described it well.

[@internetfox]

SI means what?

[@zvezdoblyat]

Yeah I don't understand this point of view. She was already visibly rich. You could just tell from her house, the procedures she's had done, etc. And also, if she acted better than other people, the internet would be pissed, if she acts down to earth, the internet would be pissed, if she flaunts her wealth, the internet would be pissed, and because she DIDN'T flaunt her wealth, the internet was pissed! What should she have done?

[@1412ben]

Probably one of the meanest thing I'll ever say on the internet but she's giving Shane Dawson

[@jsarenefilms]

​@@internetfoxsports illustrated

[@calupoh9788]

victims talk about their stories while still struggling to come to terms with what was done to them abusers only talk about what happened as a way to discredit their victims as if they're presenting their defense in court 💀

[@xoMissTaylorDivine]

Literally yes. As a victim of an abuser that's roaming free, she definitely did the most discredit me with her lies. Stomach turning.

[@nostalgicfears]

lol so real anytime i try to talk about my trauma i find myself saying "which i still don't understand" over and over

[@_letstartariot]

Lying about being Australian is the most random thing I’ve heard today

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

It's such a baffling thing to lie about. Not an easy accent to mimic either. Like what 😂

[@piratebee4553]

@@theshunnedBandersnatchalso the fact that he chose Perth of all places to say he’s from. Probably the worst city to choose since everyone knows everyone to 2 degrees of separation there 😂

[@emilymazz5787]

It gives “weird kid in elementary school” and I cannot believe anyone believes it

[@Sophya7]

It's bc americans hype up accents for no reason lol. Clinton said his accent got him in a lot of places in the U.S. And he used it to flirt with girls. Always sending vocals in DMs forcing the accent lol It's so cringe

[@weekendjail1417]

@@piratebee4553 Well, they do make some of the highest quality Silver & Gold coins in Perth. So there's that. lol

[@aimeekessell5022]

This isn’t new. It’s why I stopped watching American Idol way back in the late ‘00s. Each person had the saddest life story that they’d add. It became a competition on who had the saddest story.

[@sushreeshashwata]

Oh my God, same with all singer/dance competition here in India too like it’s fine you don’t have to have trauma and/or don’t hv to cry after every performance including judges. That is exactly why i stopped watching those too 😂. There is actually now an actress who is a brilliant dancer but comes from a normal family who was rejected from one show bcoz her back story was no trauma and wasn’t tv worthy 😂😂😂

[@aeoligarlic4024]

And it gets even worse with those Got Talent series! Boomers who stay at home and moms absoutely fell for that crap that's why those shows are so popular

[@CLS-pn7il]

Same with American Ninja Warrior, at this point the sadder the story the more I want them to fail

[@TheJrockfreak]

Lol I always joke that they are trying to get the sympathy vote and it usually works

[@bishielurfer]

What always got me was when it seemed like the producers told the contestant they needed a sad or inspirational story but the contestant didn't really have anything like that in their life (or at least not anything they wanted to share). So you'd get this swelling music and really dramatic way of speaking and then the story they're telling is about the most benign thing that almost everyone has experienced at some point.

[@ihaveaname699]

Why would you even lie about being Australian. What is the purpose. Like of all the countries of all the things to fake why Australian. What.

[@gauner1312]

it might be the new "I went to Europe" type lie

[@janzy58]

I thought that was super funny

[@ihaveaname699]

@@gauner1312 i mean possibly

[@ihaveaname699]

@@janzy58 its so good im so confused

[@thesecretshade]

You should ask Hillary Baldwin this question. Just replace Australia with Spain. She even changed her name to Hilaria and steals awards meant for Hispanic people. She never lived in Spain unless you count vacations as a kid lol But her whole personality is about being a fake person. Her husband is just as problematic and enables her delusions.

[@margaesperanza]

Y’all forgot how Clinton Kane LIED ABOUT HIS MOTHER’S RACE. He is full Filipino and not half-Norwegian. Lying about his mother’s race and about how she’s “dead” when she’s not is WILD.

[@Sing_A_Rebel_Song]

I read Clinton and my brain went to Bill and I didn’t realize that you were talking about someone else until I read it again 😭

[@succulentgarden2975]

@@Sing_A_Rebel_Songmy favorite tik tok celebrity, Bill Clinton 😭😭

[@harrietxo2310]

@@succulentgarden2975HELLOPPPPOPP

[@randomtinypotatocried]

@@succulentgarden2975Honestly Bill would have totally did TikTok if he had it when running for office in the 90s (man went on the popular talk shows of his time with his saxophone)

[@izzaanimates9041]

@@Sing_A_Rebel_SongYou had to do a double-take and were like, “Wait- what? Bill Clinton is Filipino??” 😂😂😂

[@redred7702]

We take a break from our normal schedule of “vehicles go fast” for Swell absolutely dissing the shit out of (allegedly) less than subpar people.

[@Runzi333]

I am here for it!!!

[@3ikilee]

Vroooom let’s gooo

[@FairLadySpiny]

The irony in the fact that Minnesotans literally call people who are from cities like Minnetonka “cake eaters” because they tend to be way more rich and disconnected than other Minnesotans 💀💀

[@CaulkMongler]

It’s the same exact cycle in a different font. The tumblr folks know exactly what I’m talking about.

[@KelpieRider]

Yeeeeep

[@4amlibra]

OH MY GODS IT ALL CAME FLOODING BACK

[@aeoligarlic4024]

..this could be about anyone 😭

[@Wandervenn]

I suppose the silver lining this time is that having a therapist adds to the bragging rights. We arent having a repeat of the tumblr "If you have a therapist, you are classist!" Or "Dont get a therapist, they'll just brainwash you into thinking you need drugs and are broken!"

[@4amlibra]

@@Wandervenn ... oh no, this is going to feed into a whole new wave of BetterHelp sponsorships, isn't it?

[@megmcguigan3857]

The internet is both the best and worst thing to happen to humanity.

[@KatCrit]

Feels like a net “worst” most days 😂

[@SlighlyMacs]

⁠@@KatCritas the internet ain’t going anywhere soon I try to remind myself that never have this many poor / less privileged folks had the ability to communicate and educate one another. I often feel the powerless doomerism take over me and have to remind myself of how cool it can also be.

[@ceruleanwonder]

@@KatCritit does feel that way doesn’t it? It’s just sad because it has changed lives in wonderful ways and it is/could be such a positive force for good.

[@lavendermarshmallowplant3229]

Pros: fast form of communication between people from across the globe through personalized profiles Cons: fast form of communication between people from across the globe through personalized profiles

[@phoenixgirl70]

As a person who lived half their life in the before and half in the after, I can 100% say it’s the absolute worst. But it would take me hours and pages of text to explain why. I feel so bad for the kids who were born into it. It’s just horrific seeing our decline in every way possible. I wish there were time machines that people could see and feel the difference.

[@jakeshapiro389]

tiktok has turned the internet back into high school, with the added bonus that it's constantly trying to sell shit to me

[@tryingtothrive157]

Had a former employee declare the death of his mother, a few months later a sibling, and a few more months later another sibling. Long story shortened, a friend of his could no longer stay quiet after finding out the real reason which was gambling addiction. He declared them dead because the company gave cash aid for death in the immediate family; submitted fake documents to his department head.

[@punkchic911]

As someone from Minnesota hearing she's trying to claim that Minnetonka is a small town made me laugh. It's a bunch of McMansions on the lake.

[@vivivalley]

i thought this video was going to be about the candy bowl trauma stories because i find that trend very concerning. especially when non-influencers start participating and sharing very private+personal traumatic stories on the internet to complete strangers

[@spacefacey]

True asf

[@aeoligarlic4024]

Indeed concerning, this needs to be talked about as well

[@MilaWht]

It's also making light of trauma, like half the videos is "when I was 14 a classmate once said he didn't like my freckles" and listen, I'm not here to gatekeep trauma and say what's "valid" trauma and what isn't, but I doubt you talk in therapy about the lasting side effects that affect your daily life of, your classmate saying he didn't like your freckles, trauma is an emotional response to a 𝘀𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 situation that are 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗲 the 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹 𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀, I'm sorry but I don't think getting teased once qualifies as that

[@cozy.oak_]

Clinton Kane pisses me off. Not only for his vocal fry (which was absolutely annoying and it was torture to get through his videos) but he lied about his whole family being dead. My father is the only one that remains alive from his entire family. His father passed away when he was a baby, his sister passed back in 2015. Then he lost his mom (my grandma) and his step dad (my grandpa, I grew up knowing him as grandpa) in 2021 & 2022. Clinton Kane lied about losing his ENTIRE family when that’s a very real reality to some people. Disgusting.

[@Psykells]

Trauma also trends in my therapy sessions

[@gauner1312]

therapy is also best equipped to help you with that. I just know that most normies are not able to understand my struggle

[@abbrakadabraalakazam]

Lol sorry to hear that tho

[@ohreally1997]

Welp I hope you're also traumamaxxing for content, because commodification is self actualization babes r/sarcasm

[@be_kind_of_frogs7284]

Unless you've lost a parent or have someone close to you lose a parent, it's really hard to understand how truly disgusting Clinton Kane's lies are. Like, yes, haha, in a WTF kinda way, but also geniunly what a horrible, demented person. Last year, my fiancé lost both his parents 8 months apart at 21yo. I love him with all my heart, but it was the hardest, most mentally taxing thing I've ever done supporting someone through that kind of loss. I already had existing mental illness, my mom almost died of alcohol piosoning, my dad lost 2 liters of blood in liver surgery, and my teen brother had multiple suicide attempts. It was a crazy hard year, and everything in my life made me scared for not just myself but my fiance. Even little stuff made me nervous that I'd trigger him. He is the strongest person I know, and I idolize him, but i couldn't be 100% all the time, and without couples counseling, I dont think I would've survived. The constant guilt from myself for "not being enough" was almost too much to bare at times. I say all this because Clinton WAS mentally abusing these women, and I think Tana Mongeau said it best that he should have legal ramifications for doing this.

[@margodphd]

Shite. I'm so sorry, you both seem to have had terrible, awful, no good last "almost a year". To be able to withstand that without spiraling down, especially already being more vulnerable to breakdowns, without resorting to doing a Tony Montana to a pile of dr.ugs , while supporting someone else through such an early, unexpected, profound loss is straight up superhero shit. I hope it gets easier for you, on all fronts and that you two remember to always have each others backs and I hope he was as supportive and considerate to you as you were to him, especially prior to his bereavement. I wish you the best, stranger ❤

[@mchjsosde]

I've been married for 2 years and I can't believe the things that our relationship survived. Some are things that many people will never have to go through let alone their relationship will survive through. Couple's counseling is so central to that. Every week we check in and support each other and air out our pain. Please guys, if you love the person you are with and want it to last but are going through difficult circumstances or mental health struggles consider giving it a try for even half a year or something. Obviously most people reading this won't have the privilege that we had. We had insurance for most of that time which allowed us to afford individual counseling on top of it but for those of you with the means consider couple's therapy when you're struggling.

[@appalachiabrauchfrau]

I do think it's a little dangerous for kids watching all this to set the precedent of "talking about the easiest way to fuck with you and giving the internet the most personal parts of your inner self should be normal or even celebrated." That's my issue with this. I think relearning how to be private should be a lesson tossed into this whole thing, idk. I've dropped some bits about my csa before so I'm a hypocrite but I get a churning in my guts when I see someone online with "minor, here's all my phobias and I am a victim of X so DNI if X, here's my mental illnesses and blood type and allergies etc" because it just reads as "here's a bullet point list for bullies/stalkers/preds with my weak points."

[@thebabythesavage]

I think I get what you’re saying- however, I think it’s the responsibility of those kids’ parents/guardians to teach them nuance and discretion. Not that it’s a new thing 😪 just the 2020s iteration of it.

[@valkyriefyre79]

Ah, yes, Minnetonka. Where boating companies offer tours of all the big mansions on the lake, people hold concerts on their lakeshore property, and have personal Statues of Liberty. And a population of over 50,000. Such a small town.

[@olive8146]

Regarding that Hayley girl, I grew up in a city neighboring Minnetonka and went to school there for about half my childhood. It's an extremely extremely affluent area. It's also not shocking to me that she downplays how wealthy she was and flat-out lies about her upbringing and life in general, as most of the people I attended school with there would act almost identical to how she acts now. And they still do.

[@imyourdad9642]

I’m a trauma therapist- thanks for this video. Trauma has become almost an online currency and it must stop. The internet has simultaneously made excellent information and community accessible for people struggling with mental health, aaaaaaand caused me to have more “no, you don’t have DID/Multiple Personalities/CPTSD” conversations than is acceptable. People come into my office convinced they have the rarest/worst disorders because of social media. It’s exhausting and toxic, and let’s not normalize everyone being traumatized more than we already have. ❤❤❤❤ take care yourself and thanks again!

[@natisfreezing]

That's interesting cos professionals have told me I have DID and I went online to check out what it was about and came back thinking mmmm maybe I dont have it, cos this shit is wild online. I dont have hundred of different identities, and it lead me to believe health care professionals were lying to me.

[@bloodstoppin]

as someone with severe ptsd / icd-11 definition cptsd, thank you for saying this. this is also the experience of my therapist i've had for years, we've both been struggling to find resources for me because of this obsession with trauma. it's also harder to exist as someone with severe mental illness because people keep thinking i have ptsd from like, bad friends or an amicable divorce in my family and it's. it's not. so i am forced to disclose things i don't ever ever want to, to have people take me seriously that i need trigger warnings, don't want to talk about it, etc.

[@immortalalia]

Yes and no. Self diagnosis is valid. Remember that people who get official diagnosis usually get that because of some form of privilege. For me I learned about certain things about myself through the internet that I am now seeking therapy for. Just as another heads up most people have PTSD in the USA and most places that have been colonized, usually affects people of color most and those are usually the people who are not able to as easily get a diagnosis.

[@bloodstoppin]

@@immortalalia i will argue you on this one. "Remember that people who get official diagnosis usually get that because of some form of privilege. " PTSD is often diagnosed after someone has been involuntarily committed, and a big number of people in CSUs in my experience are people of color and homeless people.

[@ohreally1997]

​@@immortalalia"Self-diagnosis is valid".... to who, and for what? The feels? First of all, yes, medical care is a privilege. However, lacking priviledge does nothing for the validity of your claim. You lack the means to seek medical care, so reading stuff on the internet becomes just as legitimate as applicable education and residency? If we are truly able to read something, and then go practically (and, of course, accurately) apply the knowledge, we should be able to do basically anything we can read and comprehend. I should be able to go fly a plane, based off just reading some manuals, no logged courses or training hours with an instructor necessary. Since getting your pilot's license is DEFINITELY a privilege, as it costs thousands of dollars, my piloting competency should be deemed valid, because I can't afford to enroll in an aviation program - correct? Secondly, let's really apply our critical thinking skills here: a great number of mental health issues manifest symptoms that directly affect one's ability to accurately perceive themselves and the world around them. Hmmm... how might that wreak havoc on the diagnostic process? Forget something as interesting as Delusions of Grandeur, how do you set aside your multitude of plain ol cognitive biases during this diagnostic process? Because, whoa, Dunning-Kruger has got you twisted. Ultimately what is the point of this self-diagnosis? Self-treatment? Welp, I've determined I'm bipolar ll, so off I go to brush up on some chemistry and whip up some antipsychotics ala Breaking Bad! Seems valid.

[@gauner1312]

I have diagnosed complex PTSD and am always sceptical of the trauma hashtag

[@sophiakeele6666]

I am not diagnosed with it but dealt with narcissist abuse from a parent. I've learned to be skeptical. It also seems like half the time it's like, 'guys I stubbed my toe and now I can't be around coffee tables'

[@gauner1312]

@@sophiakeele6666 my doctor saw the difference in my brain compared to a healthy individual. that is not something you can just claim by using a hashtag

[@anahnnemus5187]

​@@gauner1312Not every has the luxury of a diagnosis but I get the skepticism.

[@gauner1312]

@@anahnnemus5187 in my country everyone does. I know that might not be the case in other countries. everyone deserves a diagnosis though.

[@froggy5748]

@@anahnnemus5187if someone doesn’t have the “luxury” of diagnosis then they shouldn’t state that they absolutely have something lmao. I’m not diagnosed with my suspected bpd so i literally always say “i think i have” or “i believe i have”. it’s so fucking easy to not go “yeah anyways im not diagnosed but i have this because i say so and there’s no room for professional input”

[@amandaananda9029]

Calling it now: a future moral panic about influencers supposedly seeking to date narcissists "just to get a good story."

[@alexbennet4195]

I mean, it’s what the narcissists deserve ig

[@GamingtheOtter]

Trauma trending on Tik Tok! "Cody Ko sweating intensifying"

[@slushpuppii]

im sure hes loving the focus on Mr Beast now

[@Blue.1889]

@@slushpuppiiYeah, but I’ve also seen people talking about his company’s response and the videos of him dating another 17 year old when he was 24

[@sarawawa8984]

Honestly I love the psa about sharing your story because you are so right, when you put out a video you do NOT know who is going to find it. It might wind up in front of a bunch of supportive people who will validate you and encourage you and it almost might end up in front of trolls who re-traumatize you, invalidate you, and belittle you. I feel like all of us 90s kids grew up being told the internet is a dangerous place but I think it’s worth repeating!!! The internet gives us access to some fantastic people, it also gives some of the worst people access to US. Be safe. Also, it’s okay to NOT share your story with strangers on the internet. For PTSD, it’s not necessarily beneficial to share your story. It CAN be beneficial if you are in a safe, supportive place, but it can also actually do more harm if you are not in a place like that and sharing your story. Protect yourself

[@idkimoutofideas33]

I went into this expecting Swell to talk about the tiktoks of (usually teenagers) sharing quippy short trauma stories while adding candy to a bowl

[@MissJeriB]

As someone who has gone through years of abuse and trauma, I was afraid of watching this video because I want to be more open about my own lived experiences with other people in my life. I do appreciate how you tackled this difficult topic. thank you.

[@chibiktsn3]

Scandals like this used to happen in forums back in the day, but at least people weren't lying woth their whole face and voice.

[@indiecat18]

“they’re ALL baddies, it’s ridiculous” swell i love you

[@racheldare.]

“He needs money for therapy” made me choke on my drink

[@hollyhollems4234]

Oh perfect timing Swell, needed something to fill my ears while I'm at the craft store!

[@whirligigwarbler]

hey! kinda me too! im a framer at a frame shop/art store and love to listen to swell videos while working

[@aurorahermione]

The amount that my fiance and I say "this is going to ruin the tour" ect would drive most people crazy but we keep laughing so you just need to find your person who gets your jokes!

[@deadhouseplant1585]

'what tour?'

[@aurorahermione]

@@deadhouseplant1585 the world tour

[@savannah4439]

Thank you for sharing about Hayley Bailey…I’ve followed her for a while bc I thought her skits were funny. I also gave her the benefit of doubt about the Mary Antoinette thing bc it seemed to me like it was just her being dumb/thoughtless, and as someone who has obliviously barged through many a social expectation without knowing it, it seemed like a reasonable mistake to make if you live a privileged/sheltered life. However, I can’t continue to support her if she’s lying about serious issues for clout vs making a mockery of victims’ trauma. Even if what she’s saying is rooted in truth, it’s sus that she seems to disregard the feelings of the victims she claims to relate to

[@SUMANnoHADASHI]

I really loved the reminder at the end for people to be cautious of what they share on the internet! It can be such a wild place at times.

[@swiftlyjer-pdf]

The clout drug is so real. It is a fine line to balance. I shared pieces of my story and trauma only to have his friends harass me and bring me back to square one.

[@Emh19]

The Thing i just can't get over with Clinton Kane is why chose Australian, a famously hard to get right accent and also a country that is so proud of our international exports that if you live within 100Km of where someone famous once lived you will know about it.

[@cassinipanini]

I had to leave a job once bc my stalker was also my coworker and he was forcing a meeting btwn us via the managers. I explained the situation to the managers and asked if I would have to do the meeting, and they said yes and they couldnt do anything bc none of it was happening at work. I said okay, well then im going to have to quit. My boss was sympathetic at least.

[@anahnnemus5187]

That's gross. Hope you're at a better job.

[@sofg267]

if there's something that swell will do is make it abundantly clear

[@tannie375]

I agree that anyone should be able to share their story in the way they want. Unfortunately, that causes people like Hayley to fake trauma, and that is awful.

[@khbgvc]

You're one of the few people I trust to cover this fairly and in a safe way thank you for making this.

[@Oona_Mae]

As a woman in her 30s who was recently diagnosed with ASD and whose whole childhood was ruled over by my paternal family's genetic autism, it infuriates me that it's trendy and quirky. I can't talk about my experiences without being called ableist for wishing none of it had ever happened. There are very few spaces for me to find community that are also safe from the aesthetic-ification of what I struggle with every day.

[@FrauStormm]

as a Minnesotan i can confirm we are the gossip state because despite how large of a state we are, everyone somehow knows each other. Minnetonka is very rich btw.

[@kevinsundelin8639]

Good timing, I'm about to go shopping and I need something to listen to. I am not enough involved on TikTon to know exactly what this is about so it will honestly be interesting.

[@Cyntaria]

With Haley, her followers know about her previous marriage and also know about the billionare boyfriend thing as she's bad that "day in the life" series about it since 2022 (and is how I discovered her). She also has a history of "trolling" her followers. This is the sort of thing she does so I honestly don't know if her "who did I marry" was an intentional attempt to mock people coming out or just a really tone deaf dumb decision she made, thinking she can use a trend with a running gag in the community. She frequently does this with other viral tiktoks and meme trends as well. I stopped following her before the let them eat cake stuff as her content shifted away from the memes and doja cat outfits I followed her for, to mostly collabs, modelling and promoting stuff (she can do what she wants, just not my sort of content). I'm also not trying to excuse her and say she's innocent because what she did was wrong. I just truly don't know if it was intentional or not because this is the sort of content she's always made and her comment section is in on the joke. Either way, she was insensitive and screwed up.

[@Star_sweeper]

I didn’t know who any of these people were before watching this and I’m so glad. Amanda, you provide a vital service to us tired millennials who love secondhand drama but have no idea where it’s happening.

[@esthermcafee5293]

My pet phrase whenever I’m having a health issue is “…and that’s why I quit doping for the Tour (de France)”. Am I a competitive cyclist? No. But it makes me laugh, and that’s what’s important.

[@Pushnotificationsalwaysoffbye]

😂 I understood. I laughed. I thank you.

[@carcasstown]

can we please stop saying "narcissist" when we mean "abuser"? there's no such thing as "narcissistic abuse", literally anyone can employ the emotional abuse tactics that people attribute to "narcissistic abuse". calling emotional abuse "narcissistic abuse" and calling every emotional abuser a narcissist only further demonize and stigmatize people who are diagnosed with npd (and let's be real, every cluster b personality disorder), and that helps absolutely no one. when a disorder is so heavily treated as if everyone who has it is a monster, it makes it nearly impossible for people with that disorder to accept that they even need to get help, talk about their own issues, etc.

[@cup-of-stars]

Also it's important to point out that the only person with the authority to label someone a "narcissist" is that person's psychiatrist. Referring to "my narcissistic abuser" is a red flag imo. It tells me that person's primary motivation is to get sympathy clicks, because these days it's totally cool to be ableist against the mentally ill as long as the mental illness in question is NPD.

[@k80_]

Thank you. Especially when diagnoses of personality disorders like npd and bpd are still so much more commonly given to women and nonwhite people, so much so that bpd is commonly seen and even memed as crazy bitch disorder.

[@k80_]

People love to diagnose their abusive mothers with cluster b disorders.

[@catura6525]

this this this this!!

[@patriciahughes7516]

Therapized terms like "narcissist" "gaslighting" etc are beginning to be weaponized or at the very least used incorrectly and overused in order to propel an argument. It's like calling someone "OCD" because they feel the need to keep their door locked or compulsively knock a certain way. Not only is it incorrect, but it's unhelpful to the actual people suffering from those conditions. Thank you so much for bringing up this point.

[@CraigLCharles]

Wow, what a powerful and thought-provoking video! Amanda, you're absolutely right to highlight the importance of being genuine and authentic when sharing personal stories, especially those related to trauma and abuse. It's crucial to create a safe space for people to share their experiences without feeling pressured to sensationalize or fabricate their stories for the sake of trends or attention. Your analysis of the "Who the F did I marry" trend on TikTok is spot on, and I appreciate how you distinguished between people sharing their genuine experiences and those who might be exploiting the trend for personal gain. Rea Tisa's story, in particular, is a great example of how sharing personal experiences can help others feel less alone and more empowered to speak out. Brooke Scoffield's story about her ex-boyfriend Clinton Kane is also a great example of how people can use their platforms to share their truths and hold others accountable for their actions. It's essential to create a culture where people feel comfortable sharing their stories without fear of judgment or retaliation. Overall, your video is a great reminder of the importance of empathy, authenticity, and responsible storytelling, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like trauma and abuse. Keep up the fantastic work, Amanda.

[@SummerAlleriaWindrunner]

That was the most genuine trigger warning I've ever heard 💔💖

[@Notoastleft]

I was diagnosed with bipolar depression a few years ago, and medications haven't worked to the point that I've been in and out of therapy to avoid it, particularly since it seemed like certain "periods" of my life the mood fluctuations were more apparent than others. In college, I took a psychology class, and when we learned about Borderline Personality Disorder, every alarm bell in my head went off immediately that this seemed far, far more like my mental situation than Bipolar 2 ever did, and why those approaches didn't ever feel like they helped, especially upon learning BPD was often misdiagnosed as Bipolar. It took months to get into therapy, and before my first appointment, there was a huge trend on the internet of people discussing their mental illnesses, some more realistic than others, and people in return calling these people out as self diagnosing actually rare mental illnesses- like BPD. I immediately convinced myself that I was self diagnosing, felt like I would look attention seeking to the therapist if I brought up a potential misdiagnosis, and kept it to myself. A few appointments, nothing helped, I dropped out of therapy again, and still haven't been back, caught between wanting a proper diagnosis and this new anxiety of even bringing up that it may be incorrect in the first place.

[@gamingwhilebroken2355]

lol when I read your first part of the your comment I was like, “that’s weird for a depressive bipolar episode to last so long. They should probably make sure there isn’t something else going on as well,” and then the rest of your comment basically made me go, “ah, that makes more sense.” I have Bipolar I and Bipolar gets thrown around a lot and people don’t seem to really understand what it actually entails.

[@hannahmatich5192]

Kamala HQ on tiktok just used the "he needs the money... For therapy" line 😂😂😂

[@averyeml]

What is it with abusive people killing people off like it’s a soap opera? I had a student who showed up to school 12 days out of an entire school year and on the rare occasions on the other 100+ days that someone could get the mom on the phone (the whole school would take turns calling to check in from their personal phones because she would block each number after 2-3 times) we’d constantly hear about who died this time. The final tally was 5 grandmas, 2 aunts, a SISTER (and no, his entire family was known, a sister was not ever dead) and many pets. I could talk all day about how awful it must be for that kid to hear a mom lie about dead family to keep you out of school but I’m honestly more mad at the broken system of school and law enforcement that let him miss so many days with teachers screaming for something to be done and getting nothing.

[@natisfreezing]

When I was told I had DID I looked online and oh man did tik tok and videos like that just made me more confused bc I didn't share the exact same trauma and some people where basically saying bc I didn't have a hundred different identities I didn't have DID. It's good sometimes to share trauma, but sometimes people use social media to talk about mental illness in ways that don't help and people who don't understand it spreading misinformation. Also, don't get me started of those who seem to be faking it. It's frustrating cos I want to know how people deal with it and how to I guess "cure it" but people seem to make videos on it like its some sort of party piece and it's sad to see.

[@asana_awakening]

As someone who does have an abusive ex, and even with being a smaller content creator, I wouldn’t make a video like this for the reason that guy said he changed the names. The last thing I would want to do is give my ex a reason to come after me. Even when I’ve made post vaguely speaking on it and not even mentioning specifics, I felt nervous but it was also a big part of my healing to say “hey this happened to me” though.

[@kyerin]

Abundantly clear crew 🙌

[@DuckTapeWarrior1]

Hailey is from Minnetonka?! Minnetonka is known for its rich people houses on the lake. It’s absolutely not a poor or small town.

[@LindsayDaly]

Ooop the way you described behavior at 14:10 made me realize my manager is doing the same thing to me.....agh

[@clarinamascarenhas7499]

Some of the stuff I've seen shared on tiktok, you couldn't waterboard out of me.

[@MyChannel773]

madeline white on tiktok also confirmed that he lied to her about his parents dying, it was wild she wasn’t dating him, he was working with her boyfriend (another musician) at the time. he also messed up with telling her his mom just died like months after already telling her, so he went “oh yeah that was my adopted mom, this was my bio mom”

[@spectre9340]

I didn't know she had any interaction with him whatsoever The crossovers this man keeps having...

[@seroquelchamber]

Thank you for saying we can share our stories how we want, this trend thing actually makes me not want to share anything hecause we are in a place where many will assume youre lying or exaggerating or looking for clout and as a survivor of messed up stuff that really has the potential to throw me off course completely. Started to feel like trying to talk about it made me a bad person.

[@jfcfanfic]

It seems like Tiktok has their own Reddit section.

[@haleymist09]

"Common sense is not common and it stresses me out!" Same girl, same.

[@veroxx32]

As a teenager I used to think I will be brave and smart enough to leave an ab*sive relationship, until I got hit in the face (literally) and I got stuck in the relationship for months even when me and my ab*ser weren’t together anymore. Narcissist can be very scary sometimes, no one believed me, even I sometimes doubted myself. I’m very thankful for my therapist for making me realize that what happened to me was in fact, ab*use.

[@hollello]

I block Hailey after she made a joke about being ‘manic’ because she went on a shopping spree. made me feel gross.

[@ShallowVA]

hell yeah banned from Twitch, blacklisted from VidCon, kicked off of TikTok the Swell Menace CAN NOT BE CONTAINED!! "It's not a code, it's not an ARG" is something that really needs to be hammered into people's heads. I don't know if it's a parsocial thing or what, but it's wild how aggressively people will pry into creators' lives. When the content ends, it is over, you don't go searching for more.

[@MissRedZelda]

Things like this make me more and more happy I a, have yet to download tiktok, and b, adamantly refuse to share anything about my life online and keep a very VERY low profile on social media.

[@renrxn]

thank you for disclosing that your narcissistic abuser was a parent, i know that's not easy to come to terms with. the toxic combination of parenthood and narcissism set me back so far in life. for a time i thought i was emotionally ruined and my life was over,,,, at 21. coincidentally, once i cut contact with my abuser (right after my birthday), my life has improved tenfold. i'm actually about to see them soon for the first time since 2021, wish me luck 🤞🏼i hope i'm strong enough to face them again, i haven't been in the same room as them since 2021

[@Laurenjoinsyoutube]

I’ve seen a few videos with these trauma trends and it went from watching a cute dog video to hearing about how someone was locked in a closet for 9 months and I’m like dam

[@heyitsheidijay]

She's claiming William was real????? Thats... abhorrent-

[@beepboop449]

fun fact in case anyone doesn’t know-who the %#@! did i marry is a show about people’s marriage stories ….its just funny when tiktok users think everything is new or birthed on tiktok

[@rybread5363]

I really hope those who choose to share their trauma has professional help behind them first. I have spoke out about my trauma pre and post therapy and there is a huge difference. I understand therapy isn’t available to everyone but please please please seek out options in your community

[@LynnHermione]

What I think is one: do not talk about yourself online. It WILL be used against you. and two: I just assume everything I see online is fake. If it's real and it concerns me I will hear about it elsewhere

[@Velereonics]

I would argue that sharing trauma on social media, like simply broadcasting it to literally any random that is scrolling the app, is not healthy or productive. The people watching it and hitting like do not know you. They don't know the context to the situation. You could be inflating certain aspects of it without realizing it due to the emotional impact and have this misperception of reality reinforced by total strangers, making it even harder to unpack and resolve. They could also make it worse, or it could feel like no one cares because you dont get a bunch of interactions off of it. Or you dont get the interactions you want. Any of that when in reality, the reactions of random strangers, or lack of reactions, is meaningless. Needing validation from total strangers is a damaging side effect of trauma that is something people need to work through.

[@thisisavivistanaccount7866]

this just goes to show that the “for you page” is truly customized, bc honestly if hadn’t been for the some of commentary youtubers i subscribe to i wouldn’t have known about this.

[@monsteraxiv]

Love your content. You explain things in such a coherent way. Can’t wait for the next video.

[@RAWRIMADINOSAURLUVSS]

I think the understanding you show about recognising metal health struggles and the relation to mass media consumption of that kind of content is very respectful while also highlighting the way in which social media has been utilised victomhood in a combative way, not understanding the concept at all

[@BrigidNotBrigit]

The "trauma salad" trend also makes me deeply uncomfortable for similar reasons you mention in this video. People are selling their trauma for views, and I respect the hustle but also question if they've fully reflected on the implications

[@saraisreading4231]

“It’s fuck Cody Ko o’clock” is hilarious how dare they take it down lol

[@notlikeothersara]

I thought I was the only one who didn't sit right with Haylee's videos, blatantly copying other people's video ideas yet the comments were always positive

[@ingridc0ld]

Omg she's from Minnetonka? Bro that's where a lotta rich doctors live. I literally go there sometimes to window shop at the fancy stores.

[@EmmaMaySeven]

Does anybody else find that Swell is never on their KZbin homepage, despite being subscribed and watching every video? Every other subscriptions turns up there immediately, so I wonder what's going on.

[@kyerin]

Swell does show up for me but a couple of my other subscriptions don't, for no obvious reason - I always watch them, so it's not that.

[@EmpressAndrina]

No? She was on mine?

[@lee2791]

No, I see her. Weird

[@kevinsundelin8639]

Same here, I didn't even get a notification for this, I just happened to check my subscribed feed

[@AstraSystem]

Same for me too. 🤔

[@LynnHermione]

I am glad that when my fav broke up with his controlling gaslighting toxic partner he made 10 song absolute masterpiece of an album and did not talk about this person or refer to this person outside of the actual lyrics of the song ever.

[@cuandotumedasunagalleta7169]

Can I ask who?

[@JMERay]

Gonna save this one to drink shots for every "allegedly" said when I'm feeling like it

[@gisellesami]

Thank you for offering a check in reminder instead of a trigger warning

[@KikiAndHerKittens]

I think sharing traumatic things can be helpful for others to recognize that behavior and/or at minimum feel some comfort that they aren’t alone and help them process it in their own ways. I do think that trauma stories need trigger warnings every time even if it seems ‘minor’ to the creator. I also think that those who try to research the situation and put people is so wrong, and weird frankly it should have legal consequences due to being a safety hazard. I block people if I don’t like the way they talk sometimes. I’m all for blocking people and not needing a reason to block them. Stay safe everyone, and if you’re needing professional help, I hope you can receive it.

[@puan1211]

Amanda: ”William does not exist” Me who’s kind of out of it: ”You’ve lied about having an editor all this time!!?”

[@4.1132]

There was a time when it was about substance not spectacle. The huge problem this creates is that it changes what people perceive as trauma (now a disagreement is abuse and any form of healthy sadness is major depression disorder etc., it’s ridiculous) and it changes what the words to describe trauma mean (people use colloquialisms as if they’re diagnoses, sometimes of people they have never met). It is harmful to everyone,because people that are healthy think they’re ill, people that are ill get stigmatized and everyone gets less or worse resources to address these problems.

[@cookedasparagus]

hi amanda ❤ just wanted to say you have been one of my favorite youtubers for years and i hope you are having an amazing day :DD

[@emmas.m]

In what world is Minnetonka Minnesota a small town?? Like it's literally suburb of Minneapolis.

[@404_kayjay_not_found]

When you hit the "It's not an ARG part" I was reminded of how Swoop usually says "it's not drama, it's dangerous". I understand getting invested in a story but some people really need to learn to read the room and its line to not cross.

[@janewaysmom]

30:53 I saw a meme someone made of the Justin Timberlake arrest where he was superimposed on a senior in a wheel chair, and the nurse pushing him was labeled 'Gen Z cop arresting him' and saying "Ok, grandpa, let's get you to jail now."

[@SenshiSuni]

thank you for keeping it real and staying true to your morals ❤️

[@johnnysocket76]

The "trend" of calling things trends that aren't really trends needs to stop 😂😂