Talk About What You Want, Not Feelings, in Romantic Relationships

[@sylviaodhner]

I agree with this for the most part. I think talking about feelings can be valuable too, but if you ask someone how they feel before you've told them how you feel, you're putting them in an awkward position - you're requiring them to be vulnerable when you haven't demonstrated the same level of vulnerability. I like to tell people how I feel, a little bit at a time, and see how they respond. I think in general, it's more important to be on the same page about what both people want out of the relationship, than how both people feel. Recently I heard someone say, there is usually an imbalance in feelings, especially at first, and it doesn't have to be a problem unless you make it a problem.