Talking insomnia #86: Jacob saw he wasn't his thoughts, found more freedom and peaceful sleep

[@kristaquin]

Wisdom! My faves: 1) Jacob says, "Surrender isn't actually a choice" but we can make a choice to see things that are NOT surrender. TRUTH. This ties into the part about trying to "capture" insights (like capturing wind) rather than letting them just be "wind in your sail," which is basically effort to "use" the insight for a specific purpose (sleeping better, feeling better, etc). This echoes Daniel's teaching about being aware of the intent behind your actions (e.g., am I turning on the TV to help me fall asleep, or do I really just want to watch my show?). 2) We CAN make efforts to note moments of joy and happiness in times of sleep struggle. YES! This is so hard to do, but it's such an important lesson to teach our brains. I had to start physically documenting such moments so I could reference them when I was doubting. 3) “There’s something about you that’s unworthy of finding peace.” My brain has produced this thought for me, and I have totally bought into it in the past. This thought probably still floats around in there somewhere, but I'm not biting!

[@michelleweil6672]

Love these as well! Thanks Kristen :)

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Wow so well said! Pinned this comment 😊

[@123meenasalih]

“Trust your life” shockingly deep truth💯

[@monicathrasher3561]

Crazy how we all have so much of the same thinking… “I’m unique, I’m really sick inside, God is mad at me, I have FI.” All not true.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Well said Monica, THIS is true 😊

[@filipeferreira5087]

Amazing!! One of the best episodes ever

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad you saw it 😊! It’s one of my favorites

[@Fanteasy]

This interview is pure gold.

[@cloudstrife5487]

Similar experience. I Personally think that each speed bump makes me think its hopeless to do or force anything on the mind to recreate sleep...and it is actually a good thing.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

It’s that painful lesson that leads to where we want to be - well said, 100% agree

[@hugotielen]

Fantastic episode, Jacob you are a fountain of wisdom!

[@lucylight176]

Absolutely incredible. Touched on all the really big points for me, especially the fine line between hope, breakthroughs, states of mind and them in themselves, as much as we love them & they are dear to us, becoming yet more desperate sleep efforts. And how for me, to salvage them without attaching them to sleep. And last but not least, deep down -that we may actually believe we are somehow unworthy... and therefore of enjoying peace. Deeply appreciative of this profound session.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Lucy, I took a screenshot of this comment and sent to Jacob. Thanks so so much for the encouragement and insight 😊

[@lucylight176]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thank you so much Daniel. I am interested in any more thoughts he may have on these subjects. Thank you for your encouraging words:)

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Lucy! I haven’t heard back from him yet, but when and if I do I will ask him if he would like to be a guest again and we could have another discussion here! Thanks so much for all the support :-)

[@lucylight176]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Namaste Daniel. Thank you for all you do🙏

[@me2also]

This interview was so inspiring after waking about at 2:00 AM and not being to go back to sleep. It gives me hope, and yes I too think my insomnia is unique but I know that is just a thought. I hope to eventually schedule a coaching session with you Coach Michelle after the holiday if I don’t miraculously get cured before then. In the mean time I’m keeping this interview in the top of my playlist.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad you found it Marcy, it’s such a powerful one 🙂

[@scarlettfreedom3629]

Thank you Daniel, for your de dedication to helping those who suffer in hell, Like myself with insomnia. You have helped me on the path to healing and discovering inner strength and wisdom.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

🤗

[@11ellie7]

I loveee the concept that each thought (or fear) is a “moment to moment decision” of like will you relate yourself with it? Or can you observe it from the outside? And on the topic of this, why does it sometimes feel like choosing to observe or redirect your thoughts to that of an observer role, is another way of controlling? It doesn’t but also it does feel like I’m practicing some control?

[@awakenedtarot7306]

Worth pointing out there's a difference between disassociating yourself from something and relating to it through a posture of surrender. If I'm trying to create some distance from fear or anxiety by creating some distance mentally, that can be a form of resistance itself and it is practicing control in a sense. But there's another option, which is to both observe and fully feel whatever is arising. This is to see fear as the feeling it is and allow yourself to feel it fully in the body to whatever extent you're capable, while recognizing that the thoughts that get spun up around that fear are also actually the things fueling fear. It's really about seeing and feeling things fully for what they are.

[@onyerbike4713]

​@@awakenedtarot7306this is very powerful. I think I get it but not sure how to live it.

[@AyeshaKhan-q9s]

Hi, Somewhere in your videos you mentioned that people with severe anxiety might not be able to benefit from CBT-i. What do you mean when you say severe anxiety? Have there been instances where people with severe anxiety recovered?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi, That was probably something I said some years ago, nowadays I don’t make a difference between the inner struggles. Whatever we struggle with, it comes from experiential avoidance, there’s something we try to escape that then becomes amplified

[@salvadorvazquezlopez3465]

Hi Coach Michelle! Thanks for sharing your Videos☺️ So I have been following this Channel and it has Helped Out Majorly. My ? Now is well I have been sleeping Good for like the Past month now after like 2 months of you can say “Insomnia” So I should be over it cause I know that I can Sleep, but, I still have these sudden fears during the day like what if, you know.. what if I don’t sleep and the process starts again. Although with these fears I still sleep well so how can I kick this Anxiety about it and Fear?

[@michelleweil6672]

Hi Salvador, this is totally normal! Insomnia is so emotionally intense it can feel almost PTSD-like. In many cases, we carry residual fear from the experience, even after we start being able to sleep better. This residual fear in our brains is meant to keep us safe by reminding us of the previous threat so it doesn't happen again. Of course, this isn't helpful! Part of the process knowing that having residual fear is normal and it can take some time to dissipate. So as much as you can, have the intention of letting go of the feeling that you "should be over it". "Shoulds" aren't helpful or true...that's just us judging ourselves. Replace with self kindness as much as possible. Similarly, can you allow and be with these fearful thoughts that come up during the day as opposed to pushing them away of wishing they were gone? This is where a mindfulness practice can be helpful - to teach ourselves that we are not our thoughts and our thoughts are not facts that we need to act on. We can just witness them without judgment and let them go. Eventually as we make space for them without reacting with more fear, they dissipate more and more. Hope that helps! You're on the right track!

[@salvadorvazquezlopez3465]

@@michelleweil6672 Awesome!!! Thanks Again, Michelle! Your knowledge is Amazing when it comes to this Matter and helping us get through it. I know We Can All Get Through this but it does take some time🙏