Talking to Kids About What the Bible Says About Masturbation | Foundation Worldview Podcast Ep 46

[@lisfong]

This was excellent - as someone who was raised in church it's amazing how little biblical thinking is implemented in discussing these topics in the wider church. I'm now in my 40s with young children at home and I'm grateful for these tools. Thank you Elizabeth and Foundation Worldview team!

[@KatMTeach]

Thank you for addressing this topic! It’s definitely not talked about enough. It’s something I struggled with since I was a little girl, and the only thing anyone ever told me was “don’t do that”. That didn’t work but only made me hide it better, and when you know it’s forbidden it’s even harder to stop. I struggled all the way until I got married at 32. I had years where I thought every bad thing that happened was God punishing me for it, thought I had stds when I was in middle school because of it, made myself sick to my stomach thinking things like God will never let me get married until I can stop this for good. I had seasons where I wouldn’t do it for a long time, where I had to really work hard on my thought life and not fantasize about being married and what I could do if I were married.. It was tough. Since it started at such a young age it did become like an addiction, and I would often be angry about it as an adult thinking why and how did this start? All that to say, I want to talk about it with my kids because I wish someone would have at least let me know it was a normal struggle. But I still don’t know the best way to go about it, because I know from experience saying “don’t do it” doesn’t work. It’s an awkward topic but I was one who suffered alone for years because no one talked about it, so thanks for tackling it!

[@FoundationWorldview]

Thank you for sharing your story. We are grateful to hear that God is using your own struggle with masturbation, and the freedom you have found in Jesus, to help guide your children in the truth. May God bless you as you continue to faithfully disciple your children.

[@FronteirWolf]

​@@Addie1980 You can't put eating ice cream on the same level as a sexual act. Like you wouldn't a put a couple going out up to get ice cream together on the same level as the couple having sex.

[@johnnahdalfonso3606]

​@@FoundationWorldviewthis was similar to my story and I feel the same way about taking about it with my child

[@acksahbentcaleb1706]

Why God then created humans with sexual desire and ability to reach orgasm and experience pleasure at a very early age before they’re mature enough to have a purposeful sex? I remember I started masturbating at age 11 without knowing that this is masturbation, no one talked to me about it or taught me, I wasn’t molested, I haven’t seen any porn, I just found myself feeling pleasure in this area increased by pressing my thighs together or rubbing with my fingers, really did not know what is happening and I wasn’t getting orgasm until may be a year later at age 12 when I started getting orgasms, I loved God and the saints stories and the church, and used to confess since age 9 and take communion every week and still got the feeling and did it, why God created us this way? I’m not defending masturbation but I feel it is a very important question to answer in order to understand and come up with the correct opinion. 97% of boys and 70% of girls ( could be higher )in their teenage masturbate.

[@RS-xs7vl]

I wish these were the kinds of conversations churches encouraged and equipped parents to have with their kids. Growing up, my circles basically acted like sex didn’t exist. No teaching or talking about it or normalizing that having sexual feelings is normal and how we handle them is what is most important. No talking about it being a gift from God or the purpose… it was just wrong and dirty until you got married and suddenly we’re having a baby. More conversations like this would be so healthy.

[@carguy1312]

So, my wife leaves me because she can’t resist other worldly temptations - and I’m not supposed to remarry, or experience pleasure ever again? Seems like a bad deal.

[@CowboyQuan]

U can remarry if she cheats , in the new testament

[@Mike-rg6ri]

This is nuts. Being a woman, she has no clue about men and our male sexuality as God has created it. She completely missed Genesis 1:27, Genesis 2:18;20-25, Leviticus 15:16-18, Proverbs 5:15-19 and a number of other verses that is or relates to male masturbation from God's perspective. She's just spouting out false doctrine that weak men came up with 150+ years ago to try to prove that male masturbation is a sin. It's reasoning, not truth. If you know young men's masturbation has everything to do with their future wives, this theology will be seen as the nonsense it is. Unfortunately, the vast majority of young men have been deeply injured by people, women in particular, who condemn what God has intentionally created their male bodies to do. I'm glad I was taught nearly 60 years ago correctly about my masturbation. I taught my six sons who are known to be powerful men in their own right with faiths that move mountains. They are now teaching their sons the same. What this woman is teaching will make your sons weak with furtive faiths. Women, stop condemning men and our male sexuality in particular.

[@janiemolina4866]

Thank you Elizabeth and Foundation worldview team. This topic is so much needed to be taught to parents at church to help them how to talk to their children.

[@Yeshua_Will_Arrive_Soon]

Fantastic correlations here. Thanks for the enlightening speech.

[@nadiarodriguez6374]

Thank you so much for this video. I recently spoke to my 9 (almost 10) year old son about masturbation. He told me, "Oh mommy, it's ok all boys do it." I did explain to him biblically the right and wrongs, but I questioned if this was ok to even discuss with him. I didn't want to add more curiosity to him. But this video really gave me much insight on how to touch on this very important topic.

[@Didisayhi]

I like the color patterns in the bookshelf:)

[@devidasi5206]

Very nice presentation. I would only add one thing. Like drinking, drugs and smoking It is a chemical good feeling and the best actual advice a parent could give a kid along with sharing the Bible's purpose for sex, is to not start. Don't even try it. That's why she suggests talking early. Since the ungodly have taken control of the schools, government, churches, and media you know kids are going to be encouraged to try it. Not starting is so much easier than trying to stop once they have a taste.

[@AndrewKuntzman]

such a clear breakdown thank you.

[@klamb9]

I can only speak as a man, but the purpose of masturbation is release. This is a God-given need. If a man does not have a spouse, and masturbation is not the 'right' method, then what is the right way? (There are many situations where a man does not have access to a sexually-available spouse such as youth, sexless marriage, physical separation, etc).

[@serendipitouscomet]

I disagree. It's not a 'need.' It's a 'want.'

[@oanaquesada]

My 4 year old is doing this and sometimes it’s compulsive and I taught them to do it in the room alone and not to do it anywhere and everywhere other times I try and distract them and go and spend time doing another activity but it’s not easy I have a small baby too that is breastfed and I don’t always catch my other child in the act so yeah I’m going to pray and ask god some guidance but thank you for this video

[@TheBravedave87]

incredible insight 0 so helpful, thank you for dealing with these taboo subjects.

[@chrisasst]

So is having a vasectomy sinful, then?

[@ariannatartan5449]

Sadly, 10 is way to old to start talking about it. I believe there needs to be a version of this talk for as young as 4 years old! As a preschool teacher it isn't uncommon to see children stimulating themselves. Its easy stumble upon masturbation accidentally and unknowingly get hooked! Any suggestions on how to talk about it at that age?

[@FronteirWolf]

I doubt the pre schoolers are doing much more than discovering what down there feels like, we have to distinguish between simply touching down there and masturbating. But I wasn't there, maybe the 4 year olds were actually masturbating. I do get your point though, I did stumble on it accidently and went years not knowing what this feeling I got when I did x was, or that I was doing anything sexual at all. I wouldn't have preferred it to have known though, these days I generally practice self restraint, I don't like the feeling now I know and I didn't get hooked.

[@Waffles846]

@@FronteirWolfhello. I’m only a 10 year old and I think masterbating is gross (idk what it is but sounds it) and how do I do it? I’m asking so I can avoid it and maybe use it for my health when I become a adult. But please tell me how,why,pros,cons. This is a sensitive topic so I understand if you don’t want to answer but if you can PLEASE do.

[@misty0491]

Honestly, I feel like I didn't realize I should've had a conversation with her sooner. She...well to put it into more appropriate words became a woman this year, and she's ten. So I wasn't prepared for this, we were prepared for the womanhood part, and I told her what it meant for when she gets married someday without disclosing too much. Last night is when I caught her, I acted like I didn't see anything because it was really dark so she hopefully has no idea. I plan to talk with her about it, I've prayed on it, and found my way to your video. So I'm hoping to get some insights on how to approach this sensitive topic in a gentle way, not to preach wrongly that God doesn't approve, because the Bible doesn't exactly cover this except when it comes to a married man. So I'm hoping this helps, thank you for this video!

[@jc35019]

I am a christian and agree with this however "period" "menstruation" etc. are not inappropriate/dirty words at all, neither are correct reproductive system terms ... hope everything goes well with you speaking to your daughter 🙌🙌

[@anonymouslifehacking]

I have so much respect for you Elizabeth, and the fantastic work you do on your channel and through Foundation Worldview. However, just in this case, I think there's a bit more to this question. I haven't read Hillary's book, but I hope to soon. It looks like a great resource. However, I don't think that only these principles of the purposes of sex can be applied to masturbation, as I don't think it's always about sex itself. I agree that masturbation can be a form of idolatry, and can lead to addictive behaviours, and can be a form of fornication as Christ said that looking with lust is adultery, and in these cases the sin needs to be addressed. But there's a biological/physiological side to this discussion that I believe needs to be addressed too, and that might not be idolatry or fornication. If we're having a conversation about masturbation I think it's also worth talking about wet dreams, and what boys, can do to try to deal with the hormones that can give them an erection at very inconvenient and embarrassing times. This would be a very difficult discussion to have, with potentially differing opinions, maybe not one for having online. I don't know. I'm still praying and seeking God about my own stance on these issues, but I think it's really important that rather than focus on conforming behaviour, we instead focus on the state of and intentions of the heart. I think this is important as many young people are trying to seek God and submit to His will when their bodies are raging against their spirits. Clear cut rules would make things much more simple/cut-and-dry, but rules only reveal the sin in our hearts, they can't bring us into relationship with God. So, in the sense of idolatry, yes. Our sexuality is so intricately tangled with our body and soul. And some people are dealing with physical and/or psychological issues connected with their sexuality. For this reason, I believe that it is in the seeking of God's will in/through the messy issues, with God's word that can separate between the thoughts and intents of the heart, where our relationship with Christ deepens and becomes more personal and intimate. I love the work you do, and pray God will continue to lead and guide you as you guide and inform others through His word.

[@FoundationWorldview]

Thank you for taking the time to offer a thoughtful response to this content. We agree that nocturnal emissions ("wet dreams") are different from masturbation. One is a subconscious biological process, while the other is purposeful stimulation. We also agree that conversations with our sons about erections, in general, are different than conversations about masturbation. We know that some Christians argue that masturbation is necessary and healthy for males who are unmarried or in other situations where biblically sanctioned sexual activity is not an option. However, we would argue that such beliefs stem from humanist psychologists such as Freud and Kinsey, who taught that a lack of sexual activity leads to psychosis. Every biblical description of sexual activity blessed by God involves a husband and a wife. Since masturbation falls outside this category, we would argue it is sin. Again, thank you for highlighting the need to have different conversations with our children. We completely agree that simply covering the concept of masturbation is not sufficient. There are many more sexuality conversations we need to have with our children to help them faithfully navigate all of the situations they will encounter.

[@anonymouslifehacking]

Thanks for your reply. I understand better how you're approaching the topic, thanks for taking the time to clarify this. And yes, there really are a lot of different subjects around sexuality that we'll need to discuss with our children. It keeps us seeking God for wisdom and the resources to carefully steward the young souls in our care. And that in turn deepens our relationship with our heavenly Father too. It's so brave of you to be having these conversations on your platform. Thank you so much! ❤️

[@keithlamb5398]

@@FoundationWorldview You wrote: "Every biblical description of sexual activity blessed by God involves a husband and a wife. Since masturbation falls outside this category, we would argue it is sin. " Wow, that's an INCREDIBLE stretch. How do you figure? I don't equate sex and masturbation. The purpose of masturbation is different - its to provide relief of sexual tension and to empty accumulated semen. This has nothing to do with the 3 purposes of sex you mention especially for the single male. Males need frequent ejaculation for their health and wellness. And keep in mind, this need begins at age 10-11 but they are unlikely to marry until age 29 which is the current average. If not masturbation, then how do you feel the unmarried male is to meet their God-given need for frequent ejaculation?

[@FRN2013]

Thank you so much, Elizabeth! Would you please link that info you mentioned about sex and chemicals that bond the couple together?

[@FoundationWorldview]

That info can be found in chapters 3 and 9 of "Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality." a.co/d/dVAOrfF

[@FRN2013]

@@FoundationWorldview thanks again!

[@FLMegan]

​@@FoundationWorldview Her books are awesome.

[@JessCarni]

Thank you for sharing on this topic!

[@zaydasparkles3760]

This has guided me! Thank you!

[@margarita8504]

What if you caught them and they’re 6 years old?

[@CowboyQuan]

Or was shown stuff by older kids

[@HUCTV]

Thanking God for you sister for this podcast. 🙏

[@wimharter]

The point of sex is not always reproduction.

[@alfredoramirez5522]

It’s not the ACT! It’s the MEANING of the action.

[@davebailey4200]

I got a boy that's 12 years old and he's the one that doing it

[@amywathen3165]

Thanks, Elizabeth! ❤

[@TartarusPU]

Seems like if masturbation was a sin there’d be more direct passages and no need to extrapolate and interpret passages. It’s not like they didn’t know what it was. But hey, I don’t believe in god anyway but was curious.

[@DouglasSamuel-f6c]

whatever the bible says or doesn't say about masturbation is irrelevant. nearly all males do it and it starts quite naturally with frequent erections (difficult for a female person to understand) teenage males at puberty will start doing it and if they are told it is sinful they will still do it but possibly feel guilty. Why are so many religious people so obsessed with sex anyway, it's a private thing and most medically trained people will confirm it is harmless

[@davefitzgerald5334]

Luckily pornography never meant anything to me . Never saw the appeal of it. Sexual intercourse means absolutely nothing to me anyway. I am single and celibate and a virgin to this day at 65. However occasional masturbation is pleasurable and keeps frustration at bay. I regret having started the habit at 20 however because it's addictive. Gladly anyway our libidos decrease greatly as we mature into middle age and we develop more self control as we grow into our 40s , 50s and 60s. Bob Geldof recently said he felt greatly relieved that now finally he is far removed from the TYRANNY of sex he experienced as a young man. God bless you.

[@claudiaayesu5768]

Thanks so much

[@bdavi60]

The Bible doesn’t condemn masturbation, therefore, masturbation is not a sin, in itself. But, masturbation creates sexual lust and sexual lust apart from marriage is a sin against God, which also promotes fornication and adultery. I would encourage people to abstain from masturbation, because of the sin of lust, which will lead to other sinful acts, such as, viewing pornography, sexually fantasizing about a person that you’re attracted to, and the list goes on. Sexual lust is a sin against God. A person cannot masturbate without experiencing sexual lust. Therefore, masturbation (should) be considered a sinful act and avoided at all cost. It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 NIV

[@JamesKuper]

You totally never addressed the subject. Everything you talked about was sex. I think you didn't realize that masturbation is not sex .... Also, your discussion about hormones "science" is not very scientific. You clearly don't know what you're talking about. Having studied the Bible, I would say you are being a bit blasphemous in broadcasting your inaccurate interpretations....

[@summerrose8110]

10:05- I don't agree with you. Idolatry is extreme admiration, love, or reverence for something or someone. Masterbation is a self exploration of figuring out what feels good to you. How is that worshipping yourself? God DOES want us to love ourselves. 10:06- Masterbation doesn't prevent a person from worshipping God. That's untrue. 10:14- Where in the Bible does it say masterbation is bad? Because I've read through it and didn't see it mentioned at all.

[@FoundationWorldview]

Thank you for taking time to interact with this content. We appreciate your comments, but disagree with your claims in a few areas. 1. From the biblical perspective, idolatry is holding up anything or anyone as an object of worship, a place in which only God belongs (Exodus 20). As sex is meant to point to a picture of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5) putting anyone or anything in the place of a spouse in a sexual relationship, including ourselves, is idolatry. 2. The Bible never commands humans to love themselves. In fact, throughout the entire biblical narrative, the authors assume we already love ourselves and must fight against our self love to follow God. In the New Testament, we are consistently called to deny ourselves, pickup our cross, and follow Jesus (Matthew 16, Mark 8, Luke 9, Luke 14). 3. You are correct that the Bible does not say, "Thou shalt not masturbate." However, there are many things that the Bible does not directly condemn yet, overall, it clearly does not condone. For example, the Bible doesn't say, "Thou shalt not practice pedophilia or participate in child pornography or allow a husband to force himself upon his wife." However, when we look at the biblical narrative as a whole, all of these things, and many more, are clearly sin, contradicting God's character and His commands. The same applies to masturbation, as we outlined in this video. Thank you again for taking the time to interact with this content and highlight these potential areas of confusion.

[@FronteirWolf]

I think you can touch yourself down there and it is self exploration, not masturbation. Not all self touching in that part is masturbation.

[@WakefieldTolbert]

So for those of us who are Incels at age 57, what are we to do, exactly???

[@homewardbound799]

Think about what pleases God not yourself. Control your mind and body. Take a cold shower. Find something else to do. ​@@WakefieldTolbert

[@homewardbound799]

❤

[@davebailey4200]

volume lower I'm upset on my kid

[@msem6136]

Wow, what bad advice... ...yes, God is great. Love is great. Marriage is great. But an 11yo doesn't need to worry about marriage. However, they do need to understand their body. Masturbation should not be a shameful way of learning about sex. The human body is amazing. Masturbation if taught properly can be a positive weapon against temptation and having premarital sex. Why condemn young people to guilt and shame. Masturbation is not a sin, just like a cheeseburger is not sin. However they can both lead to sin. This is what should be taught to 11yo. Disappointing video.

[@josecontreras2997]

We all don't want kids your only telling us we will burn in hell if we don't want kids

[@eltoro92630]

Usual pattern of reading back into scripture what isn't there to justify one's prejudices and opinions. Two things only tangentially relate to masturbation: Onan failing to fulfill the demands of Levirate marriage to raise seed to his deceased brother, and not touching one's, ahem, emanation. The first instance is more properly an instance of withdrawal, but the real crime was using his brother's widow for his own pleasure, disrespecting her and him, and failing in his brotherly duty. The second is ritual purity, which frequently has nothing directly to do with morality, but cleanliness in an arid climate, and not wanting to commingle ANY human substances with anything else. Anything else is an elaborate theological cloud castle you're building yourself from decontextualized fragments of the Bible that have been cherry-picked for that purpose. Please have the courage to state your own opinions forthrightly and not clothe them in scripture or pretend they're from a memo directly come from God's desk, in 12-point Times and in bullet-point format.

[@SamuelR-k2b]

Brilliant

[@rangertocpt]

Masturbation is a MORTAL sin.

[@hobarthoskins6943]

😂

[@davebailey4200]

he does it a lot and I'm upset with him

[@patiduran2438]

You do it too. Stop lying

[@davebailey4200]

@@patiduran2438 yes but hes to young hes only 13

[@LiftaLot335]

@@davebailey4200that has nothing to do with anything by the time I was 13 I had hair on my ass lmao

[@JamesKuper]

You think you know what you're talking about and all you're doing is setting people up to live repressed lives...they'll resent you and your church... Probably should take another approach

[@ericaredmond5486]

You explained this very well. Thank you.