Talking with People Living with Schizophrenia - Episode 4: Having a Family

Welcome to our new series, Talking with People Living with Schizophrenia! Join Lauren, Vicki, and Peter as they discuss topics concerning what it's like to live with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder.
In this video, we discuss what our experiences with having a family have been like, and what it looks like for each of us.
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#schizophrenia #livingwellwithschizophrenia #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalhealth #peersupport

[@LivingWellwithSchizophrenia]

JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com General Mental Illness Peer Support Community: www.onlinepeersupport.com

[@RaysDad]

I'm sure this "Talking with People..." series is helping a lot of people with their life challenges.

[@rachelloretto4833]

I have a mom with severe schizophrenia to the point where I was born with Cerebral Palsy because she was having an episode during my birth and didn't understand enough to get help. Thankfully a neighbor checked on her and found her(and me, still inside the birth canal thankfully) in time to tell my father who was working at the time since I was born 3 months too early and get us help. Thankfully I survived and can think and talk just fine however I can't walk at all(I use a ♿). My mom went missing when I was 13(I am 33 now) the hospital released her and didn't let my father know since they weren't married and she didn't name him on her medical paperwork. I don't personally believe that people with severe mental health issues should be parents without becoming aware of how their disability could possibly effect their children(both physically and emotionally). Sorry I just had to share my story in the hopes it could make someone think about what could be the cost of something going wrong.

[@elijahgavin6706]

Excellent story! It’s very sweet of you how you don’t blame your mom for her disability even though many would.

[@alexreitz4086]

I have a friend who is lives with schizophrenia and is currently fostering two lovely little babies! It can happen, and she is a wonderful mother. I hope to some day adopt my own, and I can't have my own child and I wouldn't want to risk giving this illness to my own child. I wish you all the very best!

[@jennifer_reyes_9490]

Yes sczitsophrenia is not bad it’s all about support and being in positive or being in a good environment for sure

[@sourgummiez]

I really love these videos, thank you all so much for sharing such personal experiences and feelings with all of us ❤️❤️❤️ whether both you ladies adopt or choose to have your own, I believe you will be loving and caring mothers ❤️❤️❤️

[@maddieebobaddiee]

my grandma (mom’s mom) had schizophrenia and my mom was saying how when she was younger and when my grandma would be in the hospital, her aunt would come over and watch over my mom and uncle

[@kiril1]

And your mother or other children don't have this illness?

[@kiril1]

@Wake Up! Forgot to take your morning pills???

[@anitagomez9100]

I need to move to Canada with my son its sounds so supportive of this type of illness !! I love hearing positive storys 😊 also I too wish I had schizophrenia sometimes because I want to be able to connect to my son when hes going through things. He tells me that a lot I always listen and he knows that but he always reminds me that I don't really actually understand him or what he's going through and its so true. It hurts me as his mother that I can not relate to him in that sense I just want to take it away so bad but I can't so all I can do is research research research!!! And be there for him no matter what!

[@eccasampson2529]

Anita Gomez mol

[@ayliea3974]

I don't think you also having schizophrenia would help you to connect with your schizophrenic son. Two of my closet friends while I was growing up, my brother and my cousin, both developed schizophrenia when they were in early adulthood. They were both deeply affected and neither recovered or was able to live anything like a normal life. For me, though I always loved them dearly, we could never connect again. Their affect was so blunted that it felt like a bottle of bleach had fallen on them and faded their personalities into a shade so vague that they seemed like transparent shells of their former selves. I felt like they had died. I tried repeatedly to connect but was met with seeming indifference or wild stories of their delusions and hallucinations. I'm sorry that this illness is affecting your son. Clearly, it broke my mom's heart when our Mark became ill. I have had the fear of this disease striking one of my children. When my youngest went away to college his new friends convinced him that taking Adderal would help him study all day and party all night. The drug drove my son into a dangerous psychosis. He was involved in several accidents while in this state. It took a major effort on my part to intervene and get him into treatment. I'm so grateful that he recovered. Our mental health can be more fragile than we think. Best wishes.

[@aaymathebest4705]

@@ayliea3974 what type of thing did they diagonsed to your child?

[@ayliea3974]

@@aaymathebest4705 My son was diagnosed with a drug induced psychosis. After a year in intensive outpatient treatment he was able to return to school and finish his baccalaureate degree in neuropsychology. His self esteem and self confidence were badly damaged but in large part because he had one very good friend who stood by him, his girlfriend, he has made his way into a career managing a research project at a university. I believe that if I hadn't gotten him into the right intensive treatment when he needed we would have lost him. He made lifestyle changes, good diet, exercise, very little alcohol consumption. He continues to pursue music on a casual basis. My son's pout with drug induced psychosis was one of the most terrifying experiences in my life. I'm profoundly grateful for his recovery.

[@aaymathebest4705]

@@ayliea3974 julie wolf...does he still take medication?

[@mintghost]

I am pregnant with my first child, I am still on medication and will be my whole pregnancy because I cannot be off my medication even for a day. I am older and I have always wanted children, but I was never well enough to have a child before the last two years. My son is 24 weeks and completely perfect so far. I am so glad I found this channel at this moment because I only seemed to find negative stories about people who have parents with schizophrenia. Hearing that it is possible to be a good parent with this disease really helps me. I actually think that becoming pregnant has actually been a very positive thing so far. I do worry about him having my same mental illnesses, especially schizophrenia. My therapist and psychiatrist have both said that my husband and I will be able to help them quickly because we know what to look for. I wanted to adopt, but it was too expensive. The part where you talk about your child resents you later is also a real worry for me..But honestly..I think everything will ok.

[@aaymathebest4705]

Mintghost what your Doctor said,when you was on medication

[@aaymathebest4705]

Did yoir foctor didnt say,Don't get pregnant...

[@andrewwan1880]

For me these videos are enlightening to me from the point of these help me understand that my schizophrenia can be accepted rather well.

[@tidemeover8513]

I absolutely loved your perspective on being the best possible parent for a child with schizophrenia having it yourself! I also appreciate how understanding schizophrenia as an illness can be helpful. I personally feel it is your greatest strength and am certain you will be the greatest parents. I wish you all the best with your relationships and appreciate your wisdom.

[@wildfyre-music]

With regards to having children, while having schizophrenia yourself, and being afraid of passing it on. I think it is worth noting, that just because your child might develop schizophrenia, it doesn't degrade the value of their life experiences. All life has intrinsic value and beauty to it. I totally understand that it does require more consideration though

[@bunny4315]

Omg! The lady in the middle makes the best point. I've watched a few people suffer terribly with this illness I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Just the thought that you could pass it to your kid is terrifying. You definitely do not want to bring a child into this world that will suffer from this trauma. Children who grow up with mentally unstable parents suffer immensely if you would love your kid or have love and compassion don't make a child have to go through that.. Whether if they have to suffer by watching the parent or if they inherit the illness themself either way it's not fair right or just.

[@Jasmineflowerkisses]

It’s so nice to see so many positive comments on this video, I’d like to share a bit of my own story, and the other side of the coin. I have two beautiful children, whom I love very much. I was a full-time mother while also working. Schizophrenia hit me in my mid 20s and completely tore my psyche apart. I was forced to sign over full custody of my children to their father, for their own safety. I only see them once a week if I’m lucky, I do this on purpose because I check out and lose touch from reality so frequently it’s better to be there once a week and miss a week. Then to be there every day and then be gone for weeks at a time. I would never change having children, they are the greatest joy in my life. But it’s also important to take in consideration the fact that this illness does not have a cure, and it can and sometimes does get worse.

[@rhondamattson5491]

Thanks so much 🙏🏻 you’re all incredibly brave helpful compassionate smart and wonderful. You help me so much 🙏🏻😘

[@jmk1962]

These video chats are so insightful and I appreciate your honesty in sharing very personal stuff with us. Thank you so much.

[@sassybcuz5626]

I would not want to risk having my child being born with a major mental illness just because I wanted to be a parent. Even if they don't get it...they still have to deal with your issues. Not fair.

[@labellavita992]

My mom is schizophrenic and it made my childhood traumatic (she was not medicated for too long). It makes me so afraid to have children because I don’t want to subject them to that. :(

[@labellavita992]

I’m also afraid of pregnancy/birth triggering schizophrenia since I know it’s in my genes

[@elijahgavin6706]

bellavita904 how old are you? Schizophrenia usually begins to emerge in your early 20s. If you’re in your 30s you’re probably fine, but I’m not sure what the probability is that your child could have it.

[@labellavita992]

Elijah Gavin I’m 28

[@elijahgavin6706]

bellavita904 you’re probably fine but just don’t have kids unless you absolutely need to. Even without complications, raising a child is so much work.

[@chadgarrett6947]

Hi there, scizoaffective bearer here. I just had a baby girl myself. To supplement what was said at the end, it is very important that you have an understanding with your partners family before having a baby because if you don't it will be a world of emotional hell for you, trust me. I thought I had things under control, felt "normal" for the first time in my life, then I guess I worked too hard and blew a fuse, haven't felt right since, and it's driven a wedge in my relationship with her mother. It is great to watch these videos, it helps me explain things I have had so much trouble explaining to others myself. I wish I had found your stuff sooner, maybe I could have avoided some of this. Thank you.

[@stevesayewich8594]

Life presents us with problems or opportunities depending on how we respond. I have seen a lot of physical and mental challenges in my extended family. I can say that I wish my family had this wonderful and informative channel in our lives. Thank to you, Lauren, and guests for your experiences. Keep up the necessary work.

[@hebruixe9125]

It's so interesting to hear these firsthand testimonies. Thank you for conducting this interview.

[@yepsirree]

That was a good conversation, thank you all

[@andrean9600]

Thank you, for all these videos. You guys are making a difference.

[@sayswice5621]

Thank you for organizing and posting these videos. As someone in the medical community and someone who has a mental illness, I enjoy learning about other’s experiences.

[@juztinjay2674]

Very insightful people.

[@Mindsetolympics]

Thank you for this insight

[@aliciaarroyo6]

My mother has it and she has not passed it on to me. My brother has some mental health issues but he has not be diagnosed with schizophrenia specifically. My mom is 60 and just now openly talking about it. I have known since I was 10 and it was hard to watch her struggle with it. I am glad she is finally seeking help and she has been a good parent to us. My mom was never on medication while raising us and only had professional help a handful of times. As a young child I always thought her behavior was normal because that’s all I knew. As I got older and understood more I was able to clearly understand that there was a difference. I do think that I was always her person to keep her grounded. We have a really strong relationship today. Don’t let this disease scare you from starting a family.

[@starrgour808]

Hi, I hope you don't mind me asking, but I'm in a similar situation with my mother, how did you get her to finally seek help? Do you feel like it got worse as she aged?

[@aaymathebest4705]

Alicia arroyo..you are so kind and God believing.....

[@aliciaarroyo6]

Starr Gour sorry I didn’t see this right away. It’s not something we made her do. One day she was just ready to come to terms with it, around the time she turned 60. When I was a child she was put in a hospital for several months. She knew something was wrong only because family was telling her. In her mind she was ok. It did get worse with age. She now takes medication and goes to therapy. It’s something she is managing. Just keep accepting them. Eventually they will seek help.

[@aaymathebest4705]

@@aliciaarroyo6 because she wasnt eating the medicine thats why she gave birth to childrens....and she be on medication they dont let it happen...

[@aaymathebest4705]

When she was conceiving you ..did she take the medication?

[@karenterrell8843]

Your videos are so helpful. Please continue

[@JohnSmith-iv8zm]

Great work!

[@michaelkennedy1080]

I am still afraid to ever be a father because I don't know if I could bear knowing that I passed on some of the same pain and suffering I endured. I guess I'm not alone in that fear. My brother and his wife are planning on having a kid. Even though my brother didn't have a mental illness I explained he still has the risk because our mom had a mental illness. He is still willing to have one despite the risk so I might be a somewhat parental figure to a child with a mental illness if I like it or not. I hope his children are healthy though

[@AdlinLing]

He speaks the truth.

[@dreamcat9985]

This makes me sad because I feel like I really shouldn't have children. I have schizoaffective disorder and so does my boyfriend. I think if we had a child it would have a lot of mental illness. I don't think I would be able to care for a child. I wish I could have one, but I don't think it would be wise to have one.

[@daw162]

I'm not affected, and have children, so I can't say I can walk in your shoes. However, I can say that there are a lot of people in my kids' lives who play a very positive role, all the way down to a special lady who works at one of the local libraries and brightens the day of every child she comes across. She runs scheduled events / themed for kids, and reads to the kids at least weekly (not just ten minutes of stories, but very high effort high energy level fun reading events that the kids love). She's not affected, either, that I can tell, but she has had other health issues that may have made it difficult for her to raise her own kids. Opportunities like this may fit and provide you with the ability to make a positive impact when you're feeling good and step back when you're not.

[@grandma.p]

Do you have nieces and nephews?

[@kimberlyburdge649]

I have three grown children. We did unfortunately hit the mental illness jackpot and two have bipolar disorder and one has depression and two have ADHD. I have schizoaffective and ADHD. But my kids are all so wonderful, lol vibe and kind people. Empathetic to me and to others with illness or differences. They all are thankful that I was there for them to take care of them through especially the first parts of their illnessses. They don’t blame me. Sometimes I worried I was not present enough for them but I know now that isn’t the case. Your kids can still love you even if they end up with a mental illness. Focus on the bow and on being the best parent you can be. It can work out long term.

[@innocentnkomondemaluleke369]

I live with schizophrenia i have 3 kids .i gave birth to the last born while i was diagnosed ,she is a healthy child and lovely .shes 3 years now Turing 4 in November

[@onepotmakesplenty]

I think it must be extremely scary being a child and seeing your parent go through episodes of psychosis. I'm just not sure I'd do if I had schizophrenia, although it's impossible to say without it. What I do know is its very hard when you have children. Hormones, responsibilities, sleeplessness. Add on a potentially unstable mental illness I'm just not sure, its kind of a recipe for disaster. Laurens relationship is going very quickly. I worry that they're rushing things especially given their relationship struggles have already contributed to an episode of psychosis. I would wait to be sure personally

[@lilianetv1482]

Children are a blessing but as a spouse of mentally ill person I would say don't have children because the guilt you feel if you hv to separate from the ill spouse is too much and having to choose between protecting the child or staying with your ill spouse which is what happens sometimes. I hv not regretted my daughter but I feel somehow responding for choosing for her a dad that is ill and then separating from him. I feel like she may never understand and may resent me for not fighting for the relationship. So have children but know that it may not be easy and may come with so much decisions..

[@ayliea3974]

Thanks so much to all three of you for your transparency. Have you heard of any research indicating that schizophrenia skips a generation ? My parents were quite old when I was born and my father died when I was 15 years old so I don't know much about his family history. But from family stories I have heard it sounds like my dad's mom could have been schizophrenic. She wasn't talked about much but she was described as mentally ill. None of her children had schizophrenia but I know at least two of her grandchildren were schizophrenic.

[@chowdhuryskitchenusa7531]

Its true. I have seen this too.

[@sassybcuz5626]

The one gal would be an awesome foster mom tho. She is very empathic toward others.

[@abigail607]

This video worries me. The chances of your child having schizophrenia if a biological parent has it are quite increased from the risk in the general population. It seems terribly irresponsible to have children knowing that you could very possibly pass it onto them.

[@123________]

The chances of passing on schizophrenia is 10 is an increase in 10% if one of the parents has it it's not recommended to breastfeed on antipsychotics

[@prabo123]

I am afraid to have children I am schizophrenic

[@johnwoodworth3483]

Me too.

[@grandma.p]

I know someone who feels the way you do. He doesn't want a girlfriend, either. He doesn't think it's something he can handle.

[@jmk1962]

Does anyone know if a mother is taking meds for schizophrenia does it effect the developing baby's development?

[@sayswice5621]

JMK Yes, antipsychotics can cause birth defects. But there isn’t much research on it because it’s unethical to study.

[@sayswice5621]

Wake Up! Yes it would give us information but it can have detrimental effects on the baby. Look up ‘Flipper babies”.

[@mintghost]

Im pregnant on anti-psychotics. so far everything is perfect. Obviously we wont know until he is born but I can update my comment when it happens if you would like. Some drugs are safer than others, talk to your psychiatrist. I did have to go off of several medications, but more the ones I take for anxiety.

[@IntuitiveSoulArt]

The lovely young lady in the middle should be positioned so that she is speaking to both co-hosts, while she is speaking.

[@kimsueakashanikita1099]

I would be afraid to bring children into this world knowing what i know its just not fair, sometimes it is hereditary and only complicates things.

[@robertkeys6873]

Liverke/10g

[@nibussss]

It's more like i don't want a pain receptors like mine around this world.....probbalilty of a repeat...

[@virgilalfaro1009]

I have schizophrenia an I don’t even wanna talk to me

[@nibussss]

Were u silent as a child...u wud have speech disorganization...if u don't talk much....? Antipsychotic don't allow u to talk....?? So really.....how r u organizing speech if u don't use it...

[@robertkeys6873]

Meth

[@kalyanirajalingham1286]

Passing your schiziphrenia to your child seems cruel to me!

[@xenogryph7169]

fake