Why You FORGOT Your TRAUMA | Dissociative Amnesia & Traumatic Stress |Psychotherapy Crash Course

#trauma #DISSOCIATION
#tamarahilllpc
Dissociative amnesia and dissociation can cause a lot of challenges as you try to live your life "normally."
It can cause challenges in your relationships, your career or employment, and even...your memory.
Dissociative amnesia can change your life for good.
If you have had a traumatic past it may be difficult to recall certain things like the location where the abuse occurred (localized amnesia), certain details of your life (selective amnesia), every single moment of your life (continuous amnesia), and who you are (generalized amnesia)
In this video, I tackle the subject of dissociative amnesia and discuss the kinds of amnesia you may have experienced or are currently experiencing.
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DISCUSSED IN THIS VIDEO:
0:00 intro
1:50 Dissociative amnesia
3:23 Amygdala and hippocampus influence
4:38 Localized
6:22 Selective
7:00 Generalized
10:46 systematized
Continuous
12:16 Possession-form dissociation
Possession-form dissociation • "How Do I KNOW It's PO...
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Music:
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🎵 Track Info:
Epidemic Sound
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DISCLAIMER:
*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
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I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 14 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at [e-mail]. *Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
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[@TherapistTamaraHill]

This video is a follow up to my most recent video on "Why Do I Feel Lost?." You can watch that video if you haven't seen it yet: kzbin.info/www/bejne/hXybfKSao9uZpZo.

[@1982amb]

I was sexually abused at a very young age. I remember what I was wearing, the smell of the place that it happened and remember what happened, but not the details of what exact act or how long. I remember going home and telling my mom. I stopped talking to most people. I didn't even talk to my aunts or uncles, most of my cousin's, kids in school. I grew up being picked on and told to just talk to people. I was picked on so badly even by my mom because her sister was mad that I wouldn't talk. My older brother would always get on me for not talking to his wife. I literally couldn't. Nobody called the police when it happened to me. That means, I didn't get counseling. My mom still denies that I stopped talking then, but the rest of the family tells me that I talked all the time and just stopped and nobody knew why. I started having dreams as a teenager (16?). I didn't understand why I would dream such a thing. I eventually realized that they weren't just dreams. Deep down, I feel that I was abused more than once, but I don't remember. I also don't remember a lot of things that my siblings say happened growing up or even a lot of people. This has made me a very careful parent. I rarely even let my kids go into other homes. I made my home the safe house and the house that the kids want to hang out because I know what can happen to a child when we're not watching. It's truly an awful thing to experience.

[@1982amb]

I should add that I outgrew the not talking as I became an adult and started working, but it certainly held me back. It still has effects on me because I will always run into people who still say stuff like, "Oh, you talk now?" I almost want to scream and tell everyone why I stopped talking so they would just stop.

[@fairygurl9269]

I'm Glad You are Choosing better For Yourself and Offering Healthier Less Suffering to Your Own Chickadees too♡ With Much Compassion and Great Respect as Well.

[@1982amb]

Thank you for that. ♥️

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

@1982amb, I'm so sorry to hear this. This is a lot of trauma and it is apparently intruding upon your mind and memories. I'm glad to hear that you are extra protective with your children. My mother was like that with me and my brothers. We NEVER spent the night over other kid's homes because of the potential for lack of supervision, sexual assault, etc. It's wise and it says a lot about you as a parent to consider what wrong could happen with your kids out from under your supervision.

[@1982amb]

@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you for that. It's very reassuring that I'm not being too over protective. I appreciate you and your videos. ♥️

[@MarisaAndChew]

17 years since I escaped and I remember things more like a bad movie and have no memories of other things. Example (TRIGGER WARNING), my mom has told me that the night I escaped that he smashed my head into the floor... I can see this like I'm watching from the outside but don't remember it happening to me. I also know he cut my wrist and did other things, but I only know BC I've been told or see scars to remember. It's very frustrating as a victim BC they tear us apart on the witness stand and even in trying to give our initial statements and as a result the person often walks as we come across as uncaring, liars etc as a jury of sound mind doesn't understand what the trauma does to the brain, especially over time. When my step son who I consider mine passed from Covid in March 2020, we were not together, he was in the US with his dad. I knew he was sick, I remember everything about him being sick. I remember his last words to me the night before and I remember his uncle telling me he had passed and me saying "no". I have no clue if I cried in they moment or anything. My next memory is much later that day and I was making toast and my mom asked how he was doing and I said completely robotically "he died this morning" then, I ate my toast. Yet after that it hit me and still hits me daily. His dad tells me I've grieved harder than anyone. Yet, I just don't remember those initial hours.

[@degeest5571]

I’ve had amnesia for 14 years after a trauma, I’d remember bits and pieces, but not the full narrative, it was like missing parts of me. It wasn’t until Esketamine treatments that the memories came back in a safe environment

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

That's interesting. I haven't heard much in the research about Esketamine treatments. It would be helpful for research to discuss this more and study it.

[@degeest5571]

Esketamine has been a wonder drug for me, I feel more like my old self before the trauma.

[@RealLivesMatterREELiivesKill]

Interesting I'll have to look it up

[@BonnieDragonKat]

This sounds like me. I remember bits from my trauma times, but it's few and far between. Like I know I was adopted. All I can remember was all 4 of my adopted grandparents were there, my adopted parents, and there was snow on the ground. No emotion safe the fact I was mad. I was raised Catholic but I don't remember my first communion or my confirmation. And I have whole years and decades that I cannot recall at all. 5 years from now I won't remember a lot of things unless I write it down.

[@soccerandtrack10]

@@BonnieDragonKat i cant remember the 1st communion either right now. I think i just remember going to church before/dureing high school=8 years ago.

[@jodyayers4592]

I knew that I had blank spots due to my childhood. But it frustrated me that stress continued to cause blank spots in my memories. For instance, not remembering family gey together. I would remember the time leading up to and the time after. But during the event would be blank or spotty. I assume it was the stress of having to mingle with barracudas. I understand now that I go on high alert around people I don't trust, no matter the situation.

[@trrhyn]

OMG. I think maybe this is what I experienced unknowingly... After I gave birth to my son (my first/only child) I started having these memories of my childhood flooding in, and suddenly everything making sense. Like everything was so clear all of a sudden and realising that maybe I didn't have the greatest upbringing, but the "repressed memories" I call them, just suddenly flooded back and everything I had been so lost about made sense. so strange.

[@emilyfdee]

Thank you so so sooooo much for this video. This isn’t talked about enough… it’s so distressing and confusing to know with every fiber of my being, that I was bullied in high school, but I can’t remember it. I know at time my mother was violent with me bc of diary entries, and a note from her I saved, plus confirmation from my father. I have ZERO recollection of her ever laying a hand on me. I get full body rigid tension waves and shaking with intense fear and heart palpitations, that I speculate is the only ‘memory’ of a sexual assault that happened 30 years ago, but I don’t remember that either. It’s all gone.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome! And thank you. Glad this video was helpful. It's clear your brain is forgetting your high school experience potentially as a way to protect itself. It might be helpful to seek out s trauma informed mental health professional who can help you recall those memories and then heal them.

[@jeffbray190]

Good talk I've experienced a lot of these never really knew how to explain what I was feeling really hard to remember people's names never really connected with anyone probably feeling lost not connected to the self

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you! I'm sure you did feel lost and disconnected from yourself. That's a typical feeling.

[@fairygurl9269]

Thank You Again Maam, you truly have a Gift, This was Very Helpful in Understanding My own Diagnosis and the Situational Instances of Feeling Not Of MySelf, but was not actually Given the Diagnosis of DID as I had Once thought when I was Trying to Do My Own Research Outside of the Therapy... And it wasnt Like I would Lose info Between States But I felt I would Switch Between the Numbing/Cold Hearted "Work Like a Man" state, and the More Sensitive "Pansy Gurl" that Hurt seemingly too easily...then back again to Freezing Out the Discomfort of Feeling so Much... Hopefully that Made Sense... I Have Many Skills, but Explaining things Isnt my Strongsuit (room to improve though)

[@auntielu4394]

What is it called when you don’t remember all the trauma that was caused by your father but you don’t feel safe around him? I have vague memories of sitting on a couch and not being allowed to get up by my father. I remember my mother leaving the apartment (after they physically fought) and sleeping in the bed with my father, and feeling so afraid and stressed out that I couldn’t sleep. I never liked being in the same room with him or talking to him, and I don’t remember parts of my childhood. To this day I don’t speak to him. I know I have blocks of events that I have removed from my memory.

[@slimdusty6328]

I have, what i call , or know of as, regressed memory. Suddenly come back to me, out of the blue out of no where. Sometimes i cannot even figure for what reason it happen. Usually family trauma related. Stuff that ive also been trying to forget of course though.Triggers emotions too much. And yet i'm the sibling who still recalls more memories what all my elder sibling had completely forgotten about too, until i'll remind them. My mind can also go completely blank while i'm driving alone though. I'll arrive in town and then wonder how i got there, and begin to wonder what might happened along the way into town, and what i might have seen along the way. Strange floating feeling too as if i'm not even the one who's driving. But ive been feeling much better more recently thankfully though. Its helped me a lot that ive been able to begin to understand reason behind the cause of what it is. As an allegory, rather like untangling a fishing line tangle, of which you'd finally just discovered the hidden end of, of what had remained lost from sight for decades. Once that hidden ends been discovered you can suddenly finally begin to make some real progress untangling the terrible huge mess haaaaaa. And i'm learning why i should learn to stop beating myself up for being slow to think. Which of course is far easier to do to oneself too while we wouldn't be aware of exactly how our brain has been effected. Just requires patience. And to also apply the will to carry it through. Even if progress doesn't seem to happen at first. Never mind, hang in there, keep reading and apply the will, and where there's a will there's a way

[@fairygurl9269]

This is a well put Analogy !♡♡

[@kristinalozano7891]

For myself and others I know who've dealt with trauma we forget simply because we hope to. We want to. In a perfect world we won't have to remember. I believe in this world the knowing is necessary. If we don't remember. Those who harmed us will harm us again given the opportunity. Or others like them. But I often long for a world I can forget or no longer know the hurt I carry . In this life or the next.

[@cheryl3895]

There is one Kristina, it is called Heaven, we all have to make a choice, make that choice for Jesus ❤️

[@Multipass05]

I'm recovering many memories all at once regarding past traumas. Its like a flood gate opening. I was abused as a child. I don't think all of those memories have come out yet, but there is one that has affected me deeply that has. I was 22 when I was roofied and raped and when I woke up at my friend's house I had no memory of what happened and my friends were sad. It took me about 20 years to remember what happened to me and I now remember events in vivid detail that I had no memory of whatsoever until recently. I am now connecting the dots as to why people were shunning me because of what happened. Have you heard of or had a client experience something like this? If so, what happens after memories come out? What type of therapy would be best for this because I'm having intense anger and emotional breakdowns. My sweet boyfriend is even typing this for me because I'm having trouble functioning.

[@cheryl3895]

I'm having anger issues but with what I'm remembering about my mother. This seems like a pretty safe place to talk about this scattering stuff. God bless you

[@Hoclem]

I had a traumatic and invalidating childhood, no one specific instance of cruelty, though. Having ADHD and being an effeminate boy didn't sit well with my family in the 90s, and my parents were 1 Narc and 1 BPD with a hell of a lot of their own unprocessed trauma. I thought I escaped pretty well til I turned 21 and began having anxiety symptoms. Convinced it was MS and I was going to die, I broke down and went into a panic attack. That sent me into full blown depersonalization/derealization. It was the most terrifying experience I had ever endured, not having access to any feelings, memories, or reassurance. I struggled every moment of every day, it was like a literal hell. I wish I knew what it was at the time, because I could have worked on being less afraid of it (cuz that perpetuated the unsafe feeling and kept it around). It's been 11 years and I FINALLY started to really heal this year, feeling feelings again, started with a trickle of a memory. Now I've gone through tons of trauma informed work, unlocked so many memories, and reconnected with my younger self. The brain is an insanely powerful organ. Good luck to anyone out there going through this- it's just your brain trying to protect you! A bit faulty of a mechanism if you ask me, but you can come out the other side!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Oh my. What an experience. Thank you for sharing your experience with others here. I'm so sorry. This is a journey in and of itself that can leave you depleted emotionally and sometimes psychologically lost. I'm glad to hear that you are on a healing journey, however. That's wonderful. I wish you well as you continue on this journey.

[@cheryl3895]

Wow awesome life story, thank you for sharing.

[@CplBaker]

I can't remember much of 10 years old and prior. I have bits and pieces and pretty much lived in a fog until I realized I was basically in a Family that was more like a cult where my Mom was King & Queen of the house.

[@janiemiller825]

With me- I remember my trauma visually- the memory of it but without feeling or emotions - it’s like the feeling & emotions detached completely so I didn’t feel it… 30 years later something triggered me & all the repressed feelings/ emotions came back up. It’s so emotionally painful 😓 😭

[@cheryl3895]

Thank you for talking about this, I have possession form DID I'm just saying this because a few comments down there was someone else diagnosing this issue. I'm in the USA and I have been living with DID and possession for the last three years. I do have a small core of people I trust that absolutely believe me, thank God. These last three years of my life have been the hardest time I've ever been through. This is the first video I have seen from your channel I will watch more and thank you for caring about the most misunderstood.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome! And thank you for your comment. I'm so very sorry to hear that you have experienced such intense symptoms and possession. Praying you begin to feel delivered. This is a very tricky thing and something we certainly need to talk more about.

[@nicki8869]

Yes. DID is very complex and often misunderstood. Even most psychiatrists and therapists don't even believe what is in their own diagnosis manual. I have DID. Was an atheist. Then I found Jesus Christ and thought my parts were demons. They are not. They are parts of my fractured soul. However, especially with satanic ritual abuse, survivors with DID do have demons. I experience it myself. I would not have believed it as an atheist. Perpetrator groups split the soul as a small child and bring demons in. It is real. God bless you all. ❤️

[@Geeya6]

Thank you for this one,yes.D.I.D is a hard to deal with.Especially the amnesia.Do not agree with possession D.I.D,I think they are two different things.Possibly the alter hosting may believe they are demonic.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome! Yes,. a lot of people feel that way about this categorization in the DSM. It's a cultural and religious thing. I'll explain more in the next video.

[@mslisakayedwards]

Hi Ms. Tamara! Thank you for making these videos for us! I need this so badly.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You are so welcome! ❤ Very glad this was helpful.

[@bdc20]

I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD and DID. I have a hard time remembering what I did the day before or even earlier that same day. I remember the start of some of the traumas I experienced then immediate aftermath but not the whole trauma. I have experienced times where I can’t remember how I got someplace nor why I’m there, or I start out heading to one destination but end up in another with no memory of when or why I deviated from my original destination. WARNING, THE REST OF THIS COMMENT DEALS WITH SUICIDE. I used to think about suicide all the time. I have one failed attempt (I was seven years old), I remember the attempt but have no memory of how I survived.

[@TLDAVIS1951]

Thank you so much for this video. It explains a lot I could not understand about my life. You are a treasure.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

🥰❤ Thank you and you're welcome!

[@browneyedgirl5030]

Thank you for this helpful information. I appreciate you💜

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Glad it was helpful! You're welcome! And thank you.

[@TJ-xn3lq]

Thank you for breaking down these components. Very helpful and insightful information!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Glad it was helpful! And thank you!!

[@SB-fk8fm]

I lived like this lol. I mean you don’t know until it gets revealed but this explains so much when I had my kids I kept shutting down. I didn’t know it was called deactivating. I knew my parents hated me but it was from birth so I didn’t know why or anything I just grew up like that and I didn’t even know that I was blocking out their hate energy and words I mean it gets in there. In the subconscious. Someone planted all that garbage programming. Unbelievable. I had no clue why I didn’t want to live why I would get happy but it would quickly turn to doom and gloom never could get close to anyone. Nope forget it being single in my 20s makes so much sense I just thought I haven’t met th r one. I met so many great people I jsut could not let them in I was so blocked from the bad but also all the good. And yeah everyday was a new day o can only imagine how crazy I did appear to my family lol. But the ignorance saved me. It was horrible living with them I wasn’t allowed out I stayed in my room. Being around them they would go into punching bag mode. I got no hugs. It was the most alone I ever felt. But I did until 27 and then just forgot it all. Completely disassociated but you know that programming doesn’t leave you until you do the work to deprogram yourself. What a life. What a joke. I’m looking around now and like everything is gone. Everything is gone. I truly am no thing. And this time I’m not rising. I’m not coming back as anything I don’t care. I’ll stay where I’m at I have no intentions of even trying to mingle back into people places and things.

[@sxfnlc]

I was abused at a very young age and have lots of traumatic Disassociative amnesia. I had two abortions and and don’t remember 1 at all. Total amnesia.

[@nathalieperez8093]

Great informative video, extremely helpful.. thankyou for making this video 🌹❤️

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

My pleasure 😊 Thank you!

[@0zzieJoints]

im pretty sure i have systematised amnesia. i know now that my dad was pretty abusive and stuff to me all throughout my childhood since i was a baby up until my parents got divored when i was 9. i remember literally nothing of it. i can remember things that happened around that time like school, birthday parties and other things but anything my dad did is just completely lost. i only know about this because my mum has told me stories of things that happened like me chipping my tooth in the bath and my dad getting really angry and apparently hiding under chairs to get away from him. no memory of this. for a long while i was convinced i had no trauma at all and all i knew was that my dad was “angry all the time”. it makes me feel invalid in my trauma because it doesnt feel like anything actually happened or it wasnt bad but i realise it mustve been pretty intense if my brain forgot all of it. i do wanna know and remember what happened but it does also scare me. ive had repressed memories resurface before and that wasnt fun at all difference was that it was stuff my mum did and i was probably 10 or 11. i know my trauma has had an impact on me as im pretty sure that based on the information ive been given that because of it is why i bottle everything up. i try remember but it physically hurts at this point

[@pookiehoney]

I don’t know what kind of amnesia I have. I am easily forgetful and forget things that I wish I could remember now as an adult. This has happened my whole life & I was physically & sexually abused as a child. I have a few memories of extreme physical abuse but a feeling and weird ‘memories’ about sex since I was a small child. Things a child shouldn’t know like how sex feels but no other memories associated with it. That’s all I remember about my sexual abuse. Other than that I have forgotten most of my childhood and I only have a handful of memories that I can recall. Now as an adult I have a hard time functioning as an adult doing tasks and dealing with things and I forget a lot of things especially the upsetting parts. If I start to think about what is lost (like watching this video is difficult for me) I start to feel upset & scared. Like my chest is hurting just talking about my memory loss. I know that I suffer from ptsd and ongoing depression and anxiety in general. I’m a huge worrier and I’m always stressed out about life. What kind of memory loss do I have? Should I continue to try to remember things because just thinking about remembering makes me start to feel nauseous.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

This is difficult indeed. I'm sorry. Sometimes the right psychotherapist can help you explore, understand, and finally categorize the kind of memory loss you are experiencing. I suggest also thinking about ADD as being something you could be struggling with as well. It sounds like your emotional response to this video or other stressful topics is emotional-related. It's best to find a really good psychotherapist and work through all of this together.

[@RealLivesMatterREELiivesKill]

I'll get random clips of memories of my assaults but

[@soccerandtrack10]

I just learned about the possesion 1 from a video where the group is really confused and not sure who/all fronting they said a list(the website is old/matter transference device or moon pyrimid device.)

[@jp1457]

I was Tortured and almost murder. I am starting to remember bits and pieces and it’s overwhelming.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

That's terrifying. I'm so sorry.😟

[@jaryee]

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You are so welcome!

[@MegaFunkified]

I have selective amnesia about many childhood sexual assault memories. what is more disturbing is that now at 48 years old, I am forgetting so much of what I have done in the past months. Does general memory get much worse if you have a history of selective amnesia?

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm so sorry. That's so tough. That's a great question I'm not sure I have the answer to. My understanding is that once the trauma is properly dealt with, it may be easier for memory to come back one step at a time but that is questionable. It really all depends on how the mind/brain decides to heal itself. :(

[@kathyadair8552]

Many men and women do experience memory glitches, from approx. 45-55 y.o., around the age of menopause, for women. When the first of 5 'executive functions' begin to diminish. If, it's problematic for you, it could be the beginning of an early onset Dementia. If it persists, you'd want to be seen by a Neurologist.

[@kathyadair8552]

It's likely, or more possible, that the residual Trauma effects on memory could make future memory issues worse.

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

I would say that for the most part I have selective. However others do apply in other situations. I absolutely remember some things in detail, others to a point, and even more are a mix of a jumbled mess. Can you connect specific types of amnesia specifically to different traumas? For example My sexual assault is 100% selective like you were in my head. My neglect is more a time that is full of missing people and a bit like watching clips of a million home movies left as trash stuck together in a general timeline. My childhood encephalitis completely erased years. It then also mashed the next 3-4 years into 1 year where I was "12" for a really long time and didn't understand how I could forget how to swim.

[@VjsVdot]

@TámaraHill would you consider doing a video on parentified narcissistic siblings used in family triangulation by a narcissistic parent and it's potential mental affects on a younger sibling or both siblings?

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I certainly would! It's now on the list. :)

[@luchirimoya]

My brain didn't bother with localized or selective amnesia lol, instead of cutting the trauma out and leaving the rest of my memories intact, it just decided to get rid of entire years of my life. I am safe now but I still can't look back and remember my past, not even happy memories from like a month ago. It's like my brain defaults to deleting everything, even the happiest of memories, just in case. I need to be reminded of what I did this year on my birthday. Or which movie I watched with my partner on our anniversary. I need to be reminded of entire conversations we have had, important ones, not the small talk kind. I struggle so much to remember my life and have some sense of autobiographical memory but it's like my brain doesn't allow me to. It just deletes everything. Except it's not really deleted, it's more like hidden and the only time I see it is in the form of nightmares. Once I wake up from a nasty nightmare I have to try really hard to descipher whether what I just dreamed was real and actually did happen to me, or if it was just a made up dream. Even the repressed traumatic memories I brought to light years ago, I am now beginning to forget again. I don't even know who I am anymore and I just feel so helpless. I want to remember the good things in life. I want to remember all those times I was happy and loved. But I can't. I'm only 23 years old.

[@luchirimoya]

I also suffer from derealization and depersonalization since I was a teenager, especially when going through panic attacks and anxiety as a whole. It just feels like I'm never really present, I'm always somewhere else just surviving but not fully aware. It feels like not living and enjoying life but merely existing, but I'm never really... here, no matter how hard I try

[@JenovaRain]

This resonates with me. I have come to connect to the condition of SDAM, might be worth checking out? Wishing you peace and healing.

[@anyways661]

Many years ago I dated a man whose mother was accepted in the community as being possessed. I found this out after we began dating and she needed her son's help. Her family acknowledged she was possessed as did her mental health provider. She had been diagnosed as schizophrenic. While working with the mental health agency to secure her some housing, I was asked by her therapist if I would be willing to meet and talk about some of the paranormal and bizarre behaviors and occurrences I had witnessed as an "outside" person. I was surprised to walk into a room where 8-10 mental health professionals were gathered to ask me questions. Not expecting that at all! Interesting thing is, after that meeting, the same therapist who invited me was absolutely shaken to the core, I could hear it in her voice. And she became afraid of me because these things had manifested in my presence, even though she said she believed in Christ, and we previously had in depth discussions about the spiritual nature of this, she was not ready for it. It was nice to be believed, however.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Oh my. This is quite the situation. I have seen so many adult patients like this. Very hard for everyone involved. But it's even harder when mental health professionals don't believe people who have these kind of paranormal experiences. I can tell you some stories for sure about my colleagues not being "prepared" for any of this. We need to incorporate more education around this topic. It's overdue! I'm sure you'll never forget this experience!

[@pookiehoney]

I believe you. I have witnessed and seen things happen. I am also a believer in Christ and the Bible. If you believe then you have to believe that Satan and dark forces exist. Even people at church have a hard time talking about it and act scared and weird if you ever talk to them about something evil related. Most people are too afraid to acknowledge the fact that these things exist even though they’re believers. It’s scary & sometimes horrifying but I believe that just acknowledging the fact that dark exists helps us put on armor to defend ourselves and stay out of evil situations. That woman was shaken to the core because she believed you & she believed what happened to the woman. If any of them seemed aloof it’s because they didn’t believe you or needed to believe it was untrue and some figment of your imagination to cope with the reality. Sometimes we hear & see things we wish we never knew and this subject is definitely one of those things.

[@cheryl3895]

Thank you for your story, you are very brave to talk about this. This really needs to be talked about and people need to be believed. Thanks again for speaking up.

[@baileymoran8585]

I have a lot of dissociation with CPTSD. But I am realizing a lot of what I experience and have experienced isn’t in line with just depersonalizing and derealization. I thought I had a bad memory. I was told that when I got around my 30s, which is when a lot of people happen to be diagnosed with dissociative disorders, I may want to look into it. But I don’t want to know, because I don’t want to know why I have gaps in my childhood memories. I don’t want to know why I get these weird memory fragments where I’m looking at myself as a child and I look really distraught. I already know enough whether I have enough memory to say ‘this happened,’ or I have been told. I know I was in foster care, and I was adopted fairly young. I know that I have no memory of living in a certain city for 2.5 years as a kid. I don’t remember my school, any of my friends, or anything but living at that house and the nearby beach. I was 8 when I moved there, so I was old enough and I have more vivid memories of before that. I don’t remember for a reason and what I do remember from my teens and adulthood already gives me extreme reactions if I eventually open up about something to any degree. I don’t want my past to be so bad it warrants an additional trauma disorder. I really don’t even want to believe I qualify for CPTSD but two psychs have confirmed it. I am pretty high functioning with it. I do still lose time and don’t remember much or anything for anywhere from a few hours to a few days. I’ve never introduced myself as someone else though sometimes I pick up a faint northeastern accent and my body language changes. Maybe it’s just my dissociative brain remembering someone who fits that description and getting confused. Idk. But my mom (adoptive family) had asked me through my life if I would want to know if I had blocked out some traumatic event. I told her each time ‘Nope. It’s why I won’t read my state file.’ No kid ends up in the system for anything good, and nobody ends up with dissociation and CPTSD because the shit they don’t remember is happy. I also know I have to address this one day. I know one day it will be a problem again and I will have to address this deeper with my therapist. But I am not looking forward to that.

[@Vision.Target.Shoot1]

I have memories of being a child (5 years max) that resurfaced when I had counselling for something else, I was in my parents bed wiggling around sexually and later being in the bed and it was really hot and uncomfortable and in the night or a different night I remember hallucinating, the room got really big then really small, like I was floating, I was scared and I focused on the light switch, and there was a high pitched sound as well ringing. This ringing noise came back when I was super stressed out later in adult life like 23 years later. I am now on my journey to be my own policeman, social worker and lawyer as noone can help to protect my children apart from me as I do not have enough evidence or certain memories of abuse to press charges and make a statement. I just have intuition that says I dont feel comfortable around them or I think something happened

[@RealLivesMatterREELiivesKill]

Sorry that happened to you

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

Possession beliefs and opinions aside, if nothing else you can not discount the actual efficiency of placebo affect alone. It's always best to not judge.

[@airam5144]

This was a very interesting video! I've recently begun reflecting on the fact that I have pretty much no memories from age 8/9 until the age of twelve. Would I be correct in assuming that this would mean I might have localized dissociative amnesia? Luckily, not remembering doesn't bother me; I'm happy not remembering all the bullying I went through. What sucks is having gone through this trauma and dealing with the aftereffects but being unable to actually formulate why I am the way I am and being unable to point to things as explanation. I also would like to know if there is any way I can prevent these memories from potentially resurfacing. I'm terrified of these memories coming back, I really don't want to relive them. In the future I might seek out a therapist to address this but right now I'm up to my ears in uni work and would like to not be bothered by my past anymore than I already am.

[@thereugo8900]

I remember what led up to the trauma as if it were yesterday...I remember the actual event as it was happening....yet I have no memory of what happened following the trauma, it is missing from my memory. Why would I forget what happened after the brutal event? ❤

[@soccerandtrack10]

I only got the 2 iations recently. I did the normal 1s alot when born---end of high school.

[@RealLivesMatterREELiivesKill]

I'm diagnosed with borderline .. but I've been thinking to myself in my brain as "we"???? Not I need to but we need to ??????

[@reinaequina6588]

Yep. And then you question if it actually happened or you just made it up.

[@omarali-tv7zi]

Does dissociative amnesia occur only withim close time to the truama ..or it can happen even decades after it when you get overwhelmed with remembering it ? Please answer...I wish I could get dissociative amnesia and forget my truama

[@Sam-ve4tx]

I need help understanding something that happened to me as a child. I don't know who to ask right now. I'd like the input of an expert, if you have the time. There are perhaps a handful of times from my childhood when I had "lost time." I'm currently only aware of two of these times, though when I was younger I remember thinking there were perhaps more than two. It's hard to explain. The first time I experienced "lost time" was 6th grade (about 12 years old). I know I lost at least a week of time. And it wasn't the kind of memory loss that degrades as you age, like something that I used to know but forgot. Because I first became aware of the lost time within a few weeks of the episode occurring thanks to my classmates and teacher. They could recall what I did that week; who I'd hung out with, the field trip we went on, where I sat in class during a test, etc. But I had, and still have, 0 of these memories. I lost memory like this at least one time the year after that. Not as many people were around me then or could tell me what happened, so I'm not sure exactly how much time I lost. It was at least a day. I'm not aware of any other "lost time" episodes before 6th grade or after 7th grade. So it was localized to this two year time period. This kind of amnesia went beyond general forgetfulness. It's more like the memories never formed. It's as though I didn't exist during that time, despite everyone around me saying I acted normally. I remember being very scared of it at first, but accepting it as normal as I grew. I know I was physically and emotionally abused regularly by my dad and brother at least between the ages of 3-11. I can remember many of those instances and abuses, some of them vivid and life-threatening, though many others have become vague with time (I'm almost 30 now.) Yet at the time they happened and for many years after, those memories were crisp. It wasn't like my lost time episodes. I have severe memory issues now, sometimes even only able to recall vague impressions of very recent painful memories, but I at least know something happened then. I generally have an idea, even if most of the specifics escape me. Again, nothing like the lost time. These two episodes from when I was 12 and 13, do they fit under our medical understanding of dissociative amnesia? I need to understand why those memories didn't form and what might've happened to me in that time. I don't want to go into too much detail about it, but I've reason to suspect I might've been sexually abused as a child, in addition to everything else. I've never had any memories of sexual abuse, so I never considered it possible before now (despite a few huge red flags over the years). But some things have come to light, and combined with other observations/memories I have about myself it's making me suspect I might've been sexually abused. Is it possible that I'm able to remember other sustained, genuinely life-threatening abuses of a more violent nature, yet never even formed (or completely erased) all memories of sexual abuse? Or is that not possible given our understanding of dissociative amnesia, and something else might've been the cause? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[@cheryl3895]

You are so brave Sam, thank you so much for sharing your story. DID is so complicated isn't it? I try to listen to everyone's story to see if I might make sense of my own life. God bless you Sam😊

[@jyotsana4266]

Who can help with my amnesia? I am having trouble in day to day life.

[@johndale6774]

Hi good morning miss, i resently found your video and it seems to have hit on something. These memory issues. I have never been sble to ecolain it to others well. Do you do online services? Do you have an email?

[@chuchuepronouncedchoochool8070]

My voice changes - in the beginning it would change >thislittlegirl< prob about 3-4 years of age and would do so without my conscious knowledge . Whew 😥 what an experience that was , shnitz oopsnotsupposedtoswear lol - still happens with all the intelligence of my biological age Oh A d There izz ezz morz many “ fractures “ along with “ sub fractures “ I can count the “ breaks “ and break down the age groups by psychological awareness of my writing ✍️ tones of voice abilities such as walking eating or starving even medical conditions change etc it s interesting to say the least . I’m doing well with being differently abled and consider my mind Brilliant (!) Body memories assist me allot my Intelligence is quite high off the Charts you could say . I did it on my own . The medical community basically was a constant battle \ disappointment however bla blah blah I do plan on writing ✍️ about my “ Journey “ my name is Christine Williams

[@daniellefennell3877]

Do you believe in demonic spirits

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Yes, absolutely. My background entails a priest in the family (my grandfather), a judge who has had experiences, a psychotherapist who has seen almost everything (me), and a spiritual mother. My understanding of this is apart of who I am.

[@seans9203]

Thank you Tamara - good stuff - g (seans)

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

My pleasure!

[@0zzieJoints]

im pretty sure i have systematised amnesia. i know now that my dad was pretty abusive and stuff to me all throughout my childhood since i was a baby up until my parents got divored when i was 9. i remember literally nothing of it. i can remember things that happened around that time like school, birthday parties and other things but anything my dad did is just completely lost. i only know about this because my mum has told me stories of things that happened like me chipping my tooth in the bath and my dad getting really angry and apparently hiding under chairs to get away from him. no memory of this. for a long while i was convinced i had no trauma at all and all i knew was that my dad was “angry all the time”. it makes me feel invalid in my trauma because it doesnt feel like anything actually happened or it wasnt bad but i realise it mustve been pretty intense if my brain forgot all of it. i do wanna know and remember what happened but it does also scare me. ive had repressed memories resurface before and that wasnt fun at all difference was that it was stuff my mum did and i was probably 10 or 11. i know my trauma has had an impact on me as im pretty sure that based on the information ive been given that because of it is why i bottle everything up. i try remember but it physically hurts at this point