Tara Brach on Real But Not True: Freeing Ourselves from Harmful Beliefs

Tara Brach on Real But Not True: Freeing Ourselves from Harmful Beliefs
6/1/2016
Thoughts and beliefs are navigational maps that are not inherently true. Rather, some serve us and others cause feelings of separation, self-aversion and/or blame of others. We can free ourselves from harmful beliefs by investigating them with a dedicated, mindful and courage presence. This talk guides us in mindful investigation through an illustrative story, an outline of steps, and a guided meditation that addresses limiting beliefs surrounding interpersonal conflict.
Listen: www.tarabrach.com/real-not-true/
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With thanks and love, Tara

[@davidgray3465]

When all the world seems to keep throwing negativity my way, I watch these videos. Thankyou for being a source of goodness.

[@andyhart4534]

I’m going to listen to this one again and again till it sinks in

[@kathikalinowski4550]

It seems as soon as I find my way out i have to take my abuser by the metaphorical hand out with me.

[@Angrymobs62]

You are a national treasure offering unlimited free therapy that is truly healing! Thank you so much.

[@vianneyodriscoll906]

That was a beautiful chat and meditation the whole topic was so true to our ways of thinking and beliefs .. I'm in my 60s now and going down the road of a true self .its never to late to wake up to awakening and I'm so glad I found u on KZbin tara . ❤along with so many more powerful influences like yourself. Namaste 🙏

[@kathleengabrielsen6487]

yes yes

[@Jen0714]

@@kathleengabrielsen6487 I wanted to respond to you given your response to the question above...which is the core of the question I was going to ask, no matter how stupid many may think it is. I'm 58, been listening to Tara for four years now and I wonder...is it too late? I know it's never too late to learn but is it too late to make a change/difference in life at 58? It's hard work, harder than any work I've ever done. Just going through a lot of massive changes since very unexpectedly losing my father, my only parent in life, in January 2020. I've never been so lost. Thank you for any answer you might give on this question. Namaste

[@bethderosa7411]

So grateful to have found you..ready to let go of the road map I have been following and be the light to create a new one 💜✌🏻

[@adardasit]

Tara, you are a shining soul in this world. You help me so much , in ways you will never know. I wish I could attend your meetings.. I am grateful for all the wisdom you share and your healing kindness 🙏 bless you .

[@12mck3nn4]

I really love Tara's jokes and anecdotes. They make her talks unique and fun.

[@lindasmibert6268]

So grateful for your gentle approach, your transferrable compassion., your sharing. Thankyou.

[@andreamuller8468]

A thought is a imagination. That is so clear, but also mindblowing :)))

[@sayusayme7729]

Thank you, beautiful practice for sharing in compassion and inclusivity. 🇨🇦🦋🙏🌎☮️

[@jeanweil4892]

Hard to write, as I feel so moved, typing is a challenge. I love listening to you, Tara, but this is a step above.

[@maddygates9566]

I just found Tara a few days ago. What an incredibley awasome teacher she is. Wow! Thank u Tara💕💞💓🙏

[@movepauserestore]

Every word sang true to me today - wowza Tara!

[@renieestrada4615]

Thank you. I love you because you touch my heart and my true self. You help me to see and value myself as a good person instead of what my thoughts tell me - which are that I harm others with my words and actions because I’m innately not a good person. Thank you.

[@emmawilson5125]

So deeply beautiful and healing...thank you

[@LadyJ09]

You are a beautiful soul. Thank you for your sharing in your teachings

[@stephenbrady4799]

On a not so easy journey, thank you for the comfort and respite I have found in your thoughts and words.

[@LunaStargoddess]

Bless you Tara for the good work you do and share with us online

[@kala5810]

Thank you Tara. You are such a light to those struggling ❤

[@thomasjefferson1010]

This is amazing. She has become a great speaker . Perhaps an important one!

[@cranklesnacks]

I find the map analogy really useful. Imagine using a map created by the thoughts of others and yourself - thoughts that are real but not necessarily true. The map could easily be wrong or just lead to the wrong place. The pain of realizing you’ve been using this flawed map to navigate your entire life…

[@lorimazzola6872]

...😦💬💥🤯🙏🙏🙏, deeply touched by your comment, so much couldn't find words but 🤷🏻‍♀️also Needed to reply! I feel you, thank you! 🙏👣💜🕊🌍💜🐾💜🧘‍♀️🙏

[@tomg2946]

Her talks and messages provide great comfort to me. An exceptional communicator of 'spirit', that which is truly the self, and aiding the seperate self to realise the whole setup.

[@zullyamaya1]

Brilliant in so many ways and great quotes and references! The metaphor of the map is illuminating

[@richardrummel3739]

The truth will set us free

[@sarjitkuar5115]

to live inside i am bad is suffering- so well said !

[@federicoramirez8175]

Excellent Talk!! Thank you Tara! I haven’t really paid attention to the fact that how we feel is based on ingrained beliefs (mostly unconscious). Asking those questions: how does this make me feel? It’s real but is it true? How would I feel without this belief? These are a revelation to me. Thank you! 🙏

[@goldensprite3373]

Thanks so much for your videos Tara. They are SO valuable to myself and others.

[@belapalli2412]

Just what I needed to hear - the release i feel was much needed. Thank you!

[@aaltje1375]

Thank you, dear Thara, for your effort and attention. ❤

[@dafnarechter]

thank you from my heart and soul . love ❤

[@PeterOzanne]

Wonderful, thank you so much Tara! I hope you are staying afloat nicely on these big waves!

[@muhammadakram3373]

You are so inspiring,now I am addicted to your talks.i keep looking forward for new topics .I thank you.

[@lindaday1248]

Thank you so very much for your wisdom, for your kindness and comforting words. I really needed to hear this today and will revisit this again to help me out of my negative self beliefs.

[@sharonleigh6260]

A beautiful healer🌿💜🌿

[@davevillaflor3267]

Thank you for this morning Tara 🤗♥️

[@larryprimeau7738]

there should be a group of people who practice deep meditation and on any given day one person who feels most inspired would give a talk. the only reason why it usually is only one "preacher" who gives her and his words of wisdom talk is that others feel they are lacking somehow. The Quakers used to do that.

[@TaraBrach]

Larry Primeau you might like to set up a “Spiritual Friends” Group. Here’s some information: imcw.org/Programs/Spiritual-Friends-KM Also: www.tarabrach.com/start-mindfulness-meditation-group/

[@timgilbert8429]

Thanks!

[@ts3858]

I was labeled 'too sensitive'...

[@marijkevv11]

Lifesaver❤

[@scotscub76]

This is utterly wonderful. Thank you. Again. Love from Scotland.

[@patriciahealey2927]

Its lovely

[@cherykraemer]

Best teaching.

[@signev.bentzen5423]

Thank you!

[@dennism6544]

What would be the next video to help with overcoming these intense feelings of failure. I know where they stem from, I simply don't know where to begin that inner dialouge and how to reinfoce it. How do you overcome things like this that have lasted through decades.

[@girirajdk1420]

Thank you dear I watch your videos they are very helpful for me. 😊.

[@richardomahony6132]

Beautiful talk

[@ruthryan1517]

Thank you very much. This is helpful to me.

[@aprilo1845]

Thank you Tara

[@bodiekarma941]

Thanks

[@bodiekarma941]

Thank you dear one for your wisdom and for opening the door ❤ heart smiles 🙏🏻🌞🐚

[@sammy_lynn]

So good

[@aaabbb3738]

if thoughts are not reality b then all that we think [ including this analysis] is not reality therefore illusion maya... but then this is also a thought not real and on and on this is the mentaln prison of paradox which is another thought ... help ... god help us all

[@bambam859]

Maybe that guy loves riding round NY city on his electric bike delivering food all day.

[@mohsinkazi1531]

The day I meet Tara , my heart will explode (out of love)

[@freshencounter]

Mohsin Kazi I met her a couple of years ago. I could not believe her glow.

[@mohsinkazi1531]

freshencounter My friend met her and she showed me a picture that she took with Tara , Tara was glowing! You're so lucky.I may enroll in the teacher training so I may get a chance to see her

[@freshencounter]

Mohsin Kazi I met her through Spirit Rock’s Dharma Leadership Program. She was one of the guest teachers who spoke to us when we retreated at Garrison in 2016. If you take the training, best of luck!

[@mohsinkazi1531]

freshencounter My God that's awesome! Iam from Pakistan and I aim to be a meditation teacher , hopefully I'll do the course offered by Tara and Jack.There is little information available in this country , would you intersted in connecting with me on some other social media platform where we can actually chat? I would really appreciate that.

[@ts3858]

Familiarity to confirm our badness..? So we feel a sense of control...?

[@JBmadera]

so beautiful and helpful.

[@MMeyer945]

Namaste

[@freshencounter]

🙏🏾❤️

[@aaabbb3738]

negative thoughts have a message to reject them is negative to heal them is good maybe

[@janicesteinhardt3190]

I've been so helped and inspired by your KZbin videos but so far I haven't seen anything directly relating to those suffering from health problems from loneliness and isolation while sick I know there have been many blessings through all of us situation my world keeps getting smaller and smaller I'm so ill most of the time I keep hoping one of your videos will tell me how to get through this. Thank you for being a light in the dark

[@TaraBrach]

Janice Steinhardt have you read the works of Toni Bernhard? www.tarabrach.com/reading/#Pain

[@mikedonovan4768]

I really like Tara's teachings especially with reference to psychology etc. I find it astonishing that everytime I click on a video, before too long several people decide to have coughing fits. It's sounds funny but it's true. If I were an audience member I would at least try to cough quietly, but no these people just go for it with no consideration, even through Tara's guided meditations. I really wish her voice was recorded through her microphone and not pick up the audience.

[@TaraBrach]

Mike Donovan hi Mike - we do use a microphone, but the audience coughing does come through. You might try listening in through the audio podcast - those talks are filtered as much as possible before posting to remove coughs and extraneous noises. Otherwise, I hope you can enjoy the benefits of having a live audience. Many blessings and glad you’re listening in.

[@mikedonovan4768]

@@TaraBrach Thank you, that's good to know. Podcast it is then ! Thanks so much for the teachings. :)

[@SuperLammens]

Tara i love these live teachings with coughin and all,even during mediation

[@campanameadow1493]

Donovan Livingston

[@catherinearmstead7821]

Tara I need you help. I hope you see this mess. I need help learning how to apply this wisdom in the heat of the moment. I feel so great listening to this but in the heat it seems I loose everything I am learning.

[@MickeyMaguire]

Tara, you are more luminescent, more beautiful than ever.

[@aaabbb3738]

real but not true is also a thought that not real?

[@Anthony_February]

I’m confused - people went to her about racism and so she decided that her thoughts on the subject were weighing her down and hindering her progression on race relations? In the end did they do anything about it or did she convince herself that her feelings were just feelings and kind of move on?

[@russmack11]

What do you do if you find that something IS true?

[@PeterOzanne]

Like what? I'm having to guess what you mean. Maybe you mean that you recognise that you've been hurting others and yourself - that's real, ok, but Tara is using a somewhat higher meaning of the word "true". Normally when we say "true" in everyday talk, we mean: "Yes, it's true that I did that, or thought that". This is a different emphasis - our unskillful, maybe harmful, thoughts or deeds HAPPENED, but they were based on assumptions - as she shows in the case of the bike-rider. Our assumptions, part of our ego, are in many cases things we have been cultivating for years, they harden, and seem "true". Then you recognise that this is just habitual thinking, and in meditation practice you learn to let go of them, keep noticing, and thus waking up again and again. Does that help?

[@1Wendy_Woo]

__/♡\__ Namaste

[@mohsinkazi1531]

Wendy Nichols Namaste :)

[@whatistimewhenyouretimeles7771]

I love your work, I’m on my second read of radical acceptance. However I’m finding this video to be triggering. The constant reminder that your negative beleifs can create a negative reality is already a source of fear for me. It scares me because I worry that the more I have negative thoughts the more I’m solidifying myself into s negative person. I’m only half way through the video and will try to continue through the whole thing but I wanted to share that tension in case you had any suggestions or a different perspective

[@whatistimewhenyouretimeles7771]

Still watching and glad I continued. “Real but not true” and comparing thoughts/beleifs to a dream like state is helpful

[@aaabbb3738]

thoughts are not reality ... isnt that a thought? that is saying thoughts are not reality ... trapped in paradox we are god, help us all

[@talkeraware1115]

Transcript

[@aaabbb3738]

is this self indulgence???

[@PeterOzanne]

Is what self indulgence??? You ask a question without making it clear to anyone - except yourself - what is the "this" to which you refer. Is it Buddhism? Is it the whole talk? Or is it the "harmful beliefs" that we mistake for reality, beliefs we get stuck in, hold onto, indulge in to maintain an idea of "self" - even a negative, victimised one? No-one answered you, because, guess what!, no-one understood the question!!

[@aaabbb3738]

@@PeterOzanne cant remember my impression then... i rewatched and my impression now is that she is talking about the harm of .... self indulgence... the other point she makes ... that we judge ourselves az bad people and thats bad??? persionally i prefer that christian aproach of discernment ie what ive done is discerened as good or bad ,,, but if we do something bad doesnt yet mean that im bad ,but only that ive done something bad ... condem the sin not the sinner why /how/ answer is we are created good bad are only coverings over our essential goodness [ sufi rumi shams tabriz christian say the same thing therefore ... we have the power of discernment and is benificial if used well not to be rejected... vedic thought " vivek-a " the ant has /uses vivek when bhe picks out a grain of sugar from amongst sand ... sorry please excuse about my long reply i like getting carried away,,, likley self indulgent maybe showing off to my self... all the best ... god forgive me

[@PeterOzanne]

@@aaabbb3738 Hi and thanks for clarifying that! You make a valid point, and I agree that we certainly need to recognise our wrong or inappropriate behaviour - discernment, as you rightly say - and Buddhism also has the principle of "sincere regret". What she's talking about here though is when we get addicted to repetitive chains of thought - the negative ones but also the pleasant fantasies. Chronic unawareness is the origin of "sin" (="missing the mark", "being separate"), which makes us miserable, and wastes our god-given energies. All the best to you, take care!

[@aaabbb3738]

@@PeterOzanne what she says remind me of the country western song " looking for love in all the wrong places" i think we all do ....... i wish you happy trails .... god help us all

[@reneemoore6249]

I love everything you say except for the Christian bashing and the white people bashing. I think this is political trance talking and harmful. Please reconsider. I am white and I adore Jesus. He was a Buddah. His presence reformed a culture that had lost its way. His path was love. If his own disciples barely grasped his message, how can we? I think people do the best they can with what they know. Our job is to help them. I see you what you're doing. It is very good. I want to do this. I only wish to sat that racism is unfair to blame all whites. Other races g ave racism too. All humans do. This feels unjust and politically biased. Please stop that way. I think it is harmful. Other than that. I love and follow you. Please forgive my perctenance to criticize, please allow, tolerate one who is learning. Thank you.