My Ultimate Episode: JOHN KEARNS | Taskmaster

[@iambicpentakill971]

John's betrayal task is one of the highlights of the entirety of Taskmaster. Having Dara telling people that you are thick for three months after is pretty rough though

[@benja1378]

Makes Dara really seem fairly unsympathetic

[@BeastlyP1g]

@@benja1378 I think it helps to see it from Dara's perspective. From Dara's perspective John is being more than just unintelligent, he's actively being detrimental to the team while laughing about it. I imagine that would be really frustrating. Obviously gossiping like that is never good, but I think most of us would act similarly, especially considering how naturally competitive Dara is.

[@QuantumHistorian]

I mean, it's not just that task where John comes across a little slow... Whether that's an artificial persona or not is another matter entirely.

[@Jan-de-Munck]

​@@Zolbatno, part of the sabotage task rules was that he gets 0 points if his team wins.

[@nvrmnde]

Hearing this made me feel so bad for Kearns! Don't want to defend Dara, but even Fern who knew him was SO confused by John's behavior she had to keep telling herself he has a baby at home, he must be tired or something (source: tm podcast). So from Dara's perspective, not having any earlier knowledge, and John also being in the habit of taking a long silent pause before replying to anything, it all ads up to seeming a bit thick.

[@rich98521]

The on screen wingdings say: *John is mistaken. Wingdings does not change. (He may have had Caps lock on)

[@iambicpentakill971]

True hero

[@Meteorite_Shower]

Yeah, his printed one was BUM'S ONLY, but his testing was just bum. (It's also worth mentioning that there's like, two or three different sets of fonts called Wingdings)

[@koushuu]

1 minute in Words and I can confirm

[@SennaAugustus]

@@Meteorite_Shower There are more, but he only used the "regular" one. He did actually use Caps Lock for his main message then lower case to check his words (bum and home).

[@Meteorite_Shower]

@@SennaAugustus That's what I said. I was just pointing out that there are multiple Wingdings fonts.

[@MatthewUrso]

I can't believe John got a whole 5 minutes more out of that sailor hat

[@johnsweeter8686]

I thought the same! Such a hilarious moment! :D

[@brinsonopinion]

Exact same thought lol! That's not a hill to die on, John LOL!!!

[@0XclauX0]

Is it the stranger things hat?

[@surlycanadian]

As only a comic genius could.

[@97texascat]

And is that the hat they later use for the barge brace task?

[@pieapplebomb]

The sailor hat might not have been a high scoring prize task submission, but just John awkwardly trying to justify it, and specifically the way he says "Is he late for his boat?" Is still one of my favorite random momemts.

[@singenstattatmen5096]

I really hope John watched season 15 to see everyone wearing his little Ahoy hat on the barge. It's so wonderful when TM sneaks in these loving little homages to previous contestants.

[@ManWalksDogs]

*15 - it was the very next (main) series (bar NYT III inbetween)

[@singenstattatmen5096]

@@ManWalksDogs You are right of course, yes! Thank you, I fixed it now. 😅✌️

[@Crooks7772]

The best thing about John Kearns is that he goes into these profound philosophical monologues, and they always end up being absolute nonsense.

[@cthellis]

“I got people shouting ‘V!’ at me on the street… and it has taken me a while to figure out why.”🤣

[@SjorsHoukes]

Other taskmaster contestants have had similar experiences. Fans don’t realize the comedians don’t sit around watching back clips of themselves 😂

[@sfshinz]

"B!!!" for crocodile is even funnier.

[@essidus]

I absolutely love that John picked some of his worst tasks. He has such a keen eye for comedy derived from failure.

[@mattfrank7796]

I bet he doesn't really choose what tasks he reacts to.

[@Utred2012]

@@mattfrank7796There isn’t a huge amount to say when everything is handled quickly and smoothly.

[@SennaAugustus]

@@mattfrank7796 I think that if someone else chose the tasks, he'd be given 5 tasks which he won?

[@GNVS300]

He did win both the sabotage and animals tasks, but still came out of them looking dumb 😂

[@jijitters]

@@GNVS300 The ultimate achievement indeed!

[@DavidAWA]

I have SO MUCH respect for the cast members who take on the role of punching bag with good humor (but, of course, hilariously bothered). They are committed to the comedy. Love you John Kearns!

[@confusu]

The task: "The thing you would most like to have with you on a car journey" John was stuck in a loop thinking the "funniest thing". There is an alternate universe where the task was "funniest thing" and John got four points for that hat.

[@guaposneeze]

People getting arbitrarily stuck on something they put in the rules in their own head is pretty core to Taskmaster.

[@TheMarkoSeke]

As a comedian, the thing he would want to have the most is the funniest thing

[@TheMarkoSeke]

Possibly my all time favorite Taskmaster moment was in the team task when they weren't allowed to talk, and they lost the feather and John comes in with a chicken and shrugging his shoulders

[@jonathanpease115]

“There’s a hole in the bucket!” “oh…. no…” I forgot how funny this was 😂😂😂 I don’t think anyone will top John Kearns in Taskmaster for me! His comedy, his timing and cadence, his facial expressions, it’s pure gold 🤣 Also, one of my favorite things in this series was his bit of always throwing his jacket when he came in for a task.

[@AJ-em5rl]

we need a worst of the worst episode just so I can see John Kearns back on taskmaster

[@euphoriantremedy]

Instead of Champion of Champions, Champion of Did Their Best.

[@koushuu]

@@euphoriantremedy The international version calls that "One more chance", which is also very fitting

[@TanjaAlod]

I wanna vote! I have so many favourites...

[@TheParserable]

I need more Paul Sinha doing tasks.

[@jeangreyy707]

Imagine him and Nish Kumar together

[@PokerJoker811]

John is so buzarrely esoteric. During the series, he cited Samuel Beckett, Russel Watson, in this one he cited Evelyn Waugh, and it all turns into...whatever he is. A mental process that absolutely cannot be fathomed, and is equal aprts wholesome and infuriating.

[@ExDee-r4d]

*bizarrely *parts

[@feefee8ify]

And James Joyce!

[@djvWOODSTOCK]

Everyone's honking. Everyone loves him.

[@chayimweinstock443]

Is it just me or does John just look inexplicably huggable?

[@0nostr]

You want to let him know it’s all going to be alright

[@inamortz2372]

John Kearns' comedy is him misreading a manual on how to be funny. It's so compelling. Good man John.

[@ykakoneTS]

such a lovely way to put it. ❤

[@hy2194]

Sabotage task is my favourite task from entire series. Dara's reaction and relief when he learned about the sabotage was so nice.

[@davidyoung5114]

I am very disappointed that John gave no mention to the trolley-bowling task at Gatwick Airport (Episode 5). I thought he gave a stellar performance in that task, especially when it was thought he'd had a Joe Wilkinson 'potato toss' mis-step, but then it turned out he was not disqualified!

[@Sam-lr9oi]

I wonder if he's having that cognitive bias where bad reviews are more common and his brain is just so taken up by the poor performances that his good moments don't come to mind

[@iambicpentakill971]

Interestingly, John picked a bunch of tasks where he looked dumb instead of smart. But yeah, that cart one was awesome

[@nvrmnde]

He possibly focused on what's entertaining for a youtube compilation, as well as the stuff that he gets recognized/ "heckled" for. With these, he can add stories rather than just say, yeah I did well/badly there.

[@traveller23e]

@@iambicpentakill971 Though to be fair, to some extent that was sort of his gag/place in the series so it makes sense

[@jeangreyy707]

Not to be dramatic but another episode of Taskmaster with John Kearns would solve all my problems

[@fyrerose]

When talking about the Wingdings, the note at the bottom in Wingdings says: *John is mistaken. Wingdings does not change. (He may have had caps lock on).

[@jamesblackwell722]

Out of all the seasons of Taskmaster to date, John is probably my favorite contestant. With his sense of humor and perspective on the world, he was a joy to watch!

[@andrewforbes1433]

John invoking Evelyn Waugh in defense of a sailor's hat in a car is more than I could have asked for.

[@Stilesda]

John was a real trooper, a real "give it a go" contestant whose whole series was overshadowed with betrayal. And him shoving those carts gives me real trauma as a former airport employee. Good on you, John

[@bondfool]

That shot of John’s profile howling “VEEEE!“ with Fern and Dara in the background is one of the funniest images from Taskmaster.

[@Nano0k]

With [Munya]smiling and nodding in approval.

[@PokerJoker811]

0:11 We found him! We finally found The Joker Man! We've been saving a seat for him for ages!

[@yashmodi8668]

I'm 100% on John's side for wolf and crocodile. He mimed both animals well. Dara and Fern messed that up. Like even if you don't get the impression, once you have V and know the animal starts with a W, just shout out names of animals that do!

[@circeus]

I agree. There's only so much you can imitate with that animal.

[@bugbear2357]

Dara was guessing (whale, water buffalo), but the most distinctive thing about a wolf is its howl- which John wasn't allowed to do crocodile, on the other hand, they absolutely should've gotten immediately

[@scarletaurora5615]

I'm American. Before watching this series, I had no idea who this guy was. He looks like a boring accountant. Didn't expect much. Holy hell was I wrong! Nearly peed myself watching him throughout this series! 😂🤣😂 Now, I know what I want and have the confidence to go after it! My eternal gratitude to Taskmaster for showcasing this incredibly talented human! "Veee!"

[@genethfireball]

The fact he has the same shirt on during the opening bit makes it look like he’s his own brain judging his actions in real time

[@SennaAugustus]

John's Wingdings Enigma message: BUM'S ONLY OUT YOU R BUM H ERE BUM HOM E

[@coasterbp]

doing the lords work.

[@SennaAugustus]

Text in this video: John is mistaken. Wingdings does not change. (He may have had Caps Lock on.)

[@shellysanders2]

@@SennaAugustusthat makes it more hilarious

[@SennaAugustus]

When he's showing that the text changed, he typed "bum" and then "home" (in lower case of course).

[@madaug4389]

This makes me so happy. I love watching John. I have been waiting for this.

[@TheBookChild]

The glorious John Kearns at his best overthinking self. Love it.

[@makiramusic1]

2:48 John Kearns already mentioning his Dad’s Hands 😂😂😂

[@Sidkain]

John is one of my top 3 favorites from all the seasons. While he didn't do well, he failed FANTASTICALLY, which is perfect for the comedy within this format. I'm glad you had fun, John!

[@CallMeProm]

Wasn't sure about John in episode 1 of this series but was a huge fan by the end. Continue to advocate for a John and Munya buddy TV show.

[@DerekB99]

12:06 "There's a hole in the bucket!" John then went out of his way to sound insincere while saying, "Oh, no."

[@Meteorite_Shower]

The sailor's hat wasn't that bad; they brought it back for Series 15 after all.

[@brittanyg6796]

John Kearns brought a new flavor of humor to the show and balanced out the other 4 contestants really well. I hope there's a "Taskmaster: Redemption" at some point where all the lowest scoring contestants across the different seasons can come back and try again because I need more John Kearns.

[@MsIsetan]

Oooohhh, Task Master redemption,please, please, please make this happen.

[@jodievdw]

The only thing funnier than Dara wearing that hat driving a car, would be Dara wearing that hat driving a Megabus.

[@koushuu]

Dafty in the Ultimate Episode

[@OriginalPiMan]

Wingdings very much does *not* change everytime. The difference was almost certainly that he used lowercase in one and uppercase in the other.

[@KyleBaran90]

I think that I like this format; it offers new insights from the cast, and is structured like an episode would be, while also offering some best of clips

[@nicopillay4059]

The prize task connoisseur himself - Mr. John Kearns! Watching him being made to justify himself was hilarious

[@lorihopkins6328]

Gifts for Greg

[@Joshua-sh4mb]

John, didnt know you before the show but you are one of the best contestants on the entire show for me

[@alexiswins]

i love john kearns so much, when he tried to whistle, “why would i do that again?” LMAOOOO

[@thomasthomasson2319]

When I first saw the sabotage bit I thought "oh no, they're just copying New Zealand Taskmaster," but the mistake TMNZ made was to give the sabotage task to the most competent player. Giving it to someone as chaotic as Kearns is perfect.

[@dylanfmackinnon]

imagine if they made David Correos be the saboteur

[@ExDee-r4d]

Did New Zealand do it before Great Britain? I thought New Zealand was a spin off.

[@steve470]

@@ExDee-r4d Taskmaster NZ is a spin-off, but NZ did that particular task first, then the original show copied it.

[@thomasthomasson2319]

@@ExDee-r4d it is a spin off but a lot of the tasks created by the NZ team have found their way to the UK show. Sometimes they are slightly altered/improved but here they’ve definitely lifted the idea wholesale.

[@ExDee-r4d]

cool, thanks

[@rob-c.]

We’re all with you John. How they didn’t get crocodile is mind blowing

[@ResettisReplicas]

Can you imagine how lucky we were that John didn’t get forced into giving up both his arms on the sabotage task? They’re already calling him “Dafty” so there’s a risk they say “Dafty should give up both his hands because he’s, you know, Dafty.”

[@ThomasStClair-zr2lb]

I think the sailor's hat has become funnier every time I think of it.

[@ceostudio]

He just looks like he's always about to laugh and I love that

[@spadam0]

I don't know if you can read this John, but that was my favourite season, and you were my favourite contestant. There was this narrative where they made you into a sometimes bumbling, but lovable eccentric. Dara and Sarah were exceptional, witty and quick thinkers. And then after you got put into this role of the person who was expected to come in at the bottom you would have these really emotional and powerful upset wins. You got the 5 points for spilling the sand, or you would make an amazing shot. And when you gave that speech about knowing what you want, and going for it I felt like you had a real moment. Don't worry about the points, you were the funniest person on Taskmaster and we loved you. And if Greg or Dara were mean to you, it just made it all the more powerful when you had your shining moments. I think my biggest criticism of this video is you failed to capture some of your moments of greatness.

[@thetourist6256]

yay, maybe my all time favourite taskmaster contestant. you know what, I'ma rewatch series 14.

[@specters_art]

John is one of the best of the worst contestants but has blessed us with his absurdist humor.

[@Arkazon]

The sabotage task was so incredibly unique, and no one but John could have pulled it off with such perfection.

[@pikapika4240]

7:57 I still feel so bad for John that he essentially had to make that bad impression. 😭

[@DerekB99]

John has nice hands. They remind me of his dad's hands.

[@grit1]

John Kearns was just amazing

[@shanghaiallie]

28:51 of John Kearns relitigating all of his worst Taskmaster tasks is just what this day called for.

[@icturner23]

John’s right about the animals. That’s the only thing you can do for wolf and he could only say “vee”, not any kind of “ooooh!” And the crocodile one was immediately obvious. When it was first broadcast, I couldn’t believe they hadn’t got it.

[@bladechild2449]

he could've gone V-V-V-Veeee in a wolfish sound.

[@lindiwechachiua7950]

Hands down one of the best contestants on the show

[@tamiam484]

I laughed hardest at Johns tasks than any others

[@lucymoody4927]

I brought in a sailor's hat for crazy hat day in elementary school when I was a kid, and I got about the same reaction as John did on Taskmaster

[@icarusandtherabbit]

22:35 John if you ever read this, I Googled it for you. So many results you never looked up. Wingdings has a different set of symbols for uppercase and lowercase letters. When John first printed out his instructions, Caps Lock was on. When he tried "translating" his instructions, Caps Lock was off. This is why the symbols were different.

[@danielloiselle1844]

Love the blazer throw from John before each task 😊

[@GNVS300]

I just started watching Stranger Things series 3 recently and have learnt John's Ahoy hat is the same one Steve wears at the ice cream parlour.

[@zorakj]

I liked the have pleasure with tubes task. I liked how Greg said John’s look of pleasure was just different from most people.

[@BNGMATERO]

One of my favorite people that have been on the show! Your awesome John 🤘🤘🤘

[@krissdev]

John is a legend for successfully sabotaging his team 😁

[@whatiwasgoingtosay]

John Kearns might be my favorite Taskmaster contestant, so this is delightful.

[@RainbowSunshineRain]

Wolf and crocodile were the best impressions ever. I agree with John.

[@jongarrad5647]

All credit to John... a small bearded man in a sailor hat is funny. It's not a LOL, but I'm smirking.

[@fyrerose]

Great episode! Season 14 was my favorite and I love John so much!

[@jugomebu]

I freaking loved John in this series!

[@Sumaleth]

"I got 2 points for that" And you can thank him for it. :)

[@VampireLily616]

Aw that is so lovely what John said at the end about his team mates and fellow contestants! 🥹 And his betrayal task has me cry-laughing!

[@Sabintribal]

When I tell you this man ticks so many of my "attractive" boxes. I could watch him do anything lol

[@Virdeus]

I do really miss when the show was on Dave, and they would cut back to the contestants' reactions in the studio during the videos. I guess this is a close approximation. They just need to do every single contestant and we can splice it together.

[@DiamondWolfZero]

I honestly didn't like John because I'd only seen his character on Cats does Countdown, but I fell in love with the guy pretty quickly after seeing him on Taskmaster. The toilet roll shot was incredible and John is a damn genius!

[@ShinyHubCaps]

I like how they have the S14 props in the background. By the way, that is my favorite season!

[@Miply]

2:45 I see John's obsession with his Dad's hands is still there

[@sayeager5559]

These ultimate eps are great.

[@deadmanzclanleader]

i've been waiting for this for so long

[@joeyc5879]

I don't care what anyone else says John wwas brilliant for taskmaster

[@thomaskennedy4233]

The man who doubt me to have regrets but also not have regrets. High on the shelf!

[@krissdev]

I like how he is spending 5 minutes moaning about the hat, which was obviously a terrible idea. Instead of showing his successes, which he had surprisingly many 😮

[@kellyheidel4337]

Oh Dafty, how I’ve missed you!

[@TheJanooby]

John kearns is my spirit animal

[@garethstruivigdegroot4837]

One of the best contestants ever.

[@wsmarczak]

You were great with wolf and crocodile.

[@krissdev]

Yes 🎉 Love John ❤

[@sfshinz]

For pure slapstick, you absolutely can't beat John's "Get the Paint in the Bull's Eye" task. I couldn't breathe the first time I saw it.

[@blackdragoncyrus]

John is so lovably awkward. XD

[@dontknowdocare]

Love John. I wish Taskmaster did All-stars instead of champions...since some of the recent winners were so obsessed with winning they forgot they were on a comedy show and not survivor 🤨

[@francesT5877]

Kearns is a lovely bloke. Anybody who hasn’t hears much of him listen to his eps on Richard Herring’s RHLSTP.

[@deluxedistrait]

I stand by the fact that the sailors hat was way better than Greg gave him credit for. He absolutely sold me on it

[@kwebst1]

John Kerns is the best!! Such a truly funny man, apparently naturally. Quirky 😊

[@Crow-Fly]

Im so glad this show introduced me to John Kearns. Im trying to think of a perfect line up and I think Tim Key, John Kearns and James Acaster would be amazing. Theyre all so off key and uniquely themselves, Gregg and Alex would have a heck of a time getting anything done :)

[@johnhawk1089]

This is a great season!

[@PhilLewis-xg7iv]

i'd never heard of john before tm. but wow what a fantastic tm contestant. he's got to be in the top ten for me. that sabotage task is legendary. and this was great, seeing him react to his tasks. thnx tm and john dont worry, when you lad grows up and watches tm, he will love it, like we did, your a star john.

[@RAINMAKEEER]

My favorite boyfailure in Taskmaster history