Teaching Self-Regulation by Modeling

When teachers explicitly recognize and respond to their emotions in class, students learn to engage in these processes themselves.
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[@summersbehaviorconsulting]

The skill she is teaching is how to manage other people's emotions, not regulate your own. Another way she could approach this is to say: I feel anxious right now, I'm going to take a deep breath. She could then describe what she did and invite the kiddos to try it, providing feedback. This is know as behavior skills training and is one of the most effective ways to teach a new skill. I do not think it is appropriate in a teacher-student relationship to say "my heart hurts when you do not look at me", because the teacher is centering herself completely in that context and making the child's behaviors about her.

[@jellysmith4350]

Yes. But she is describing herself, in relation to the intersubjective space, between her and her students, rather than in relation to what exists inside her own body. This is entirely valid, even preferred, as an effective way to teach kids to kids to self regulate. If it is done with kindness, and in as non reactive a way as she did it here, I see no problem. It is infinitely better than simply limiting/ shutting down the child, which is by far the preferred method in classrooms i see, in the course of my work in chld and adolescent mental health.

[@keciaaskew5166]

I definitely agree 💯 percent with your statement. That caught me off guard when she said “my heart hurts when you do not look at me” she could’ve had said it in a different way, and make it about the children, since they are suffering with trauma, and not making it about herself.

[@cherilynwilson1702]

It’s great to be able to name emotions, but self-regulation is about understanding stress and managing energy and tension, most emotions that are really negative come from stressors. Without reframing misbehaviour as stress behaviour and looking at the whys and why nows, then the root of problems, such as having a hard time paying attention, are not addressed. Teachers need to be coregulators with kids. If the teacher is being bothered (my heart hurts) by typical behaviours that need reminders every now and then, then she needs to look at what is draining her energy.

[@debbieschmidt7794]

I love this video, it's perfect to show children how to feel their emotions.

[@nicolepumarada3019]

There are many things about this video that I like, but, as others have pointed out, the teacher is using some problematic tactics, like saying "my heart hurts" when a kid is not paying attention. It blames the child for her emotions and also is likely hyperbolic, i.e. she's exaggerating her emotional state, which is not helpful when teaching kids how to identify their emotions. Also, she sometimes says she is feeling things that aren't feelings. For example, @ 0:52 she says "it feels like you're not ready to listen to me." That is an interpretation, not a feeling, and it is important to know the difference so that constructive communication can take place.

[@shieh.4743]

This video is a blessing as a parent of 2 young boys. ❤

[@puspasari2183]

Noted = Self controled = self regulation

[@teacherjande]

Why haven't I learned any of that in college? Jesus, the internet is teaching me so much more about teaching.

[@samiasayadi4224]

Teachers who don't have the tools to regulate themselves cannot reguale others.

[@tanyav123]

This is especially true in parents.

[@Kaiser68]

I really disagree with the way she manipulates the children with her emotions. "My heart hurts when you don't listen to me." This is awful and sets kids up for a life of anxiety about other people's emotions. She should take responsibility for her emotions. "I can see you're not hearing me, and part of me is upset because I want to be heard, but I understand that we've been sitting down for a long time and it might be hard to concentrate for so long." Would be better

[@severnforward808]

I am taking an online course in Self Regulation from Dr. Shanker, and you are right on! I really do enjoy applying SR on myself when I feel anxiety or panic attacks from life giving me a hard time.

[@melissaharrison5142]

Or really even: 'I can see you're not hearing me, and I really care that you are learning this important material.' The teacher should be alpha so that the children can feel safe and held. The emotion naming and describing can be done when supporting interactions with and between the children and in the way that is acknowledged, validated, and normalized, and the teacher can also describe their own emotions about things outside of the classroom experience, or how they felt as a child, but the child needs to know that the teacher can be trusted to hold them and is not going to be easily overwhelmed.

[@shieh.4743]

I don't know. We might be overthinking this as there is insufficient data on this. Maybe and maybe not. Could she phrase these better? Maybe. Should perfection be the obstacle to good? Definitely not.

[@dorcaspowellpowell5971]

@@shieh.4743 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 well said.

[@tuneinwithtony]

@@shieh.4743 agreed, the word choice was poor but the idea and techniques are developing in the right direction. refine, iterate, keep evolving. no sense getting stuck in our thinking about the mind-we don't understand it all.