Cut the Invisible Strings (How to De-Attach From Manipulation in Relationships) - Teal Swan

[@violetvisual1529]

"Parents are willing to do everything for their children, Except to let them be themselves"

[@RelaxationMusic1611]

Because being themselves means being undisciplined for them. They are making an army at home

[@nikatrix]

I grew up in India and I’m so glad someone finally understands! My parents are condescending and always make me feel guilty and shame and degrade me. Growing up I was suffering from depression and they said “toughen up” or “there’s nothing like mental illness” and kept comparing me to other kids. If I did something wrong it was horrible and if I did something right it was “yeah whatever it’s not like others are not doing it too”. I find it hard to have successful relationships as a result of this and I don’t want them in my energy field anymore. Because no matter how much I heal, having them around me still makes me feel like killing myself.

[@lextor4712]

very sorry for you - that sounds like a nightmare. You're on a great path by diving deep into Teal's teachings.

[@Red_Dusk]

word

[@prashanthcm3333]

She is also from India (past life)

[@lizhuynhkenny]

Good luck in healing yourself my friend. You are loved and important ok.

[@jessdedication]

Same

[@dollymyfolly]

This is truly one of the most damaging aspects of growing up in an Asian family, when I finally had the freedom to express myself authentically, they claimed that they “don’t know who I am” anymore. They didn’t even want to recognize my identity outside of what they wanted for me

[@JadenJahci]

Well yeah,....Duhhhh...One must be willing to sacrifice certain things to be free.................And now you know your ABC's Kind Regards, Parents Shhhmarents

[@michellekoz9398]

Wow, that's a lot. I'm happy you're able to recognize that this isn't right. And I hope you feel strong and proud of your true identity.

[@alyssabaldrich4598]

you are not the only one

[@lucibloom5966]

They NEVER knew who you were. They only had an ideal in their own heads of what they wanted you to be for THEM. When you started showing them who you really are, they didn't like it...because it didn't match that fantasy in their heads anymore and who you are doesn't give them what they need.I feel bad for many asian families, as the value around family is so strong that you literally have to put up with abuse your whole life and then a final slap in the face...you have to take care of your abuser or you'll be ostracized. Its' so disrespectful of children, yet westerners look up to asians as an example of tight knit happy families. Honestly, it makes no sense to stick around for abuse.

[@sakshi348]

Luci Bloom You just said here everything that I feel. I am an indian but for the life of me I cannot understand why indians consider values superior.

[@bunknee1220]

I'm Indian, and my mom was always so conscious and careful to not trap us into covert contracts, and she supported our choices to the end of the earth. I am so, so, so grateful for that :)) I seriously have seen so few mothers like mine in India. Love you, ma :)

[@lextor4712]

wow what an example of a wonderful mother. You're blessed be grateful and more blessings will come to you.

[@g.s.632]

Mashallah BLESS HER❤❤❤❤

[@xuanius]

"Expressions of love are equated with owing someone"...that's exactly my instinctual response to kindness. Every time someone is nice to me even in a platonic way, I feel "grateful" to them, and as if I should repay them somehow. Ever since I was a kid, I would be super giving to anyone who even showed me an inkling of kindness because I felt this debt. Damn, now I know where that came from.

[@judahhudson2200]

We must journey inwards

[@sylviafrugale]

OH MY GOD. 😲 Took me 37 years to finally being able to understand why my relationships were feeling inauthentic and draining me out. I just cried both feeling sorry for my inner child and feeling filled with gratitude for the opportunity to change the pattern. Teal we can never thank you enough for your work. 💜 Thank you so so much 💜

[@harrymyhero]

My mother handed me a gift one evening, a box with a necklace in it, and I actually said "What do you want from me now?" I was 16.

[@marijagrujicic1370]

that's so sad Penny, hugs to u

[@beatwavs]

Genius you! However even more sad cause it probably was so apparent that you recognized it so early. I experienced lots of stress and having to accept my mom's strings on me as "normal", ppl saying "be a good daughter, love your mom" but all i could do was to feel hurt and hating her, as she couldn't love me herself if not by "making sacrifices" for me, financially, and leaving me helpless through other aspects of life, as i grew up only wanting to control me and turn me into a servant only. No hugs, no kisses anymore. Just coldness and "i do everything for you and you are ungrateful"

[@NightinGal89]

I cooked breakfast in bed for my mom once, and she was like "what happened? Are you in trouble?" 😂. I felt hurt. I mean i made her breakfast because I thought it would be a nice thing to do.

[@lukove671]

did the same ... it feels horrible experiencing that stuff

[@lilyrose2000]

Through this video I realized WHY I don't 'allow' any relationship in my life. I'm afraid to be trapped again. Thank you for this video, it is priceless food for our mind and soul. 🙏💖

[@dulcineadeltoboso3748]

Omg, I'm in the same boat as you. How are you doing now? I hope your realization helped you to work on yourself.

[@lilyrose2000]

@@dulcineadeltoboso3748 I feel good now. I love all of my relationships but mostly I love my relationship with myself. As I accepted myself and integrated parts of my character I didn't like before, my life started changing. I lost many of my friends in a process, but I gained better friends later on. I have to say the work I did was hard, but it's worth it. I am happy now. Genuinely. Not because of 'positive thinking'. Walking though complete darkness I came out and now I love with my whole heart no strings attached. And because of that I'm never alone or rejected, or misunderstood. I'm connected.

[@kiyalee4921]

I grew up in India and this is exactly what happens!!! There was no concept of loving children in India. You are basically a "thing" that is given basic needs. You are not expected to ask anything at all because that makes the child selfish and bad. You are not given love until you please the parents and proud. On top this there is religion non-sense!!!

[@JadenJahci]

Now get back in the kitchen and clean the dishes. Best Wishes, Superstitious (writings on the wall)

[@zarahdrew4056]

Imagine being raised in India and doing all the things a "good" child could do and then still not being told that you were loved and being shown love. In fact, every thing you did was to earn a roof over your head and contributed to the cost of food you ate. This was my upbringing in America. I attended medical school and many of my professors were Indian. I may not have been the brightest student but I certainly tried the hardest and was rewarded for my efforts with my teachers not throwing me under the bus either. Now, the administration was corrupt but that was not my teacher's problem.

[@charnitaarora]

yes, physiological needs were far more important than psychological ones... was quite a struggle for me too

[@l.ferrer7923]

So you were basically "insurance" to one day take care of your parents in their old age? Is that how it is, culturewise, in India? the root of population explosion? 😱 'Just curious. 😊

[@a.hashmi3393]

Exactly and the Religion thing 🙉

[@heatheryoung3808]

So beautiful when you describe the child as being a gift to be unwrapped and not any of the horrible ways parents might view having a child ❤

[@ascendingneet2263]

Heather Young Yes, indeed.

[@lextor4712]

a gift to be unwrapped - beautiful.

[@justinwaggoner2767]

Heather Young can you see the parent as the child.. that is the gift of being born again.. the gift of wonder.. the gift of forgiveness... the gift of unconditional love

[@KarmaKattt]

OMG this is the relationship I have with my mother! Always strings. Always manipulation. Always trying to control me with guilt.

[@nessad01]

If your family ever says, “You want/do_________ after all I/we have done for you?! I didn’t raise you to be spoiled and ungrateful.” I am absolutely cutting the strings of obligation!

[@brytoledo3534]

oooh no i kinda see myself making this mistake already :( hmm… how would you from a child’s point of view like this type of situation be dealt with ??? sometimes we think of what us parents as children had to go thru so maybe we both need to understand each other better because i don’t want to be too harsh on my kids :( and i do notice myself saying hurtful things… kinda like tough love but that’s kinda what i got in a way but need a splash of love.

[@willowravenpsychicsandmedi670]

I wished I knew this 30 years ago!!! It took me so long to realise this dysfunctionality of my mother!

[@charleslomanto]

... And me too..

[@sll110]

me too

[@a.hashmi3393]

Me too😬

[@mushroommagic1697]

Omg me too! I am glad i found this video.

[@luludear1209]

The mother wound isn't spoken of enough.

[@christophergordon6250]

I'm Black and even I'll admit that these kinds of things happen, too in Black families. Manipulation is not determined by race... Pretty much every culture has become manipulative over the centuries, in one way or another. But, I understand the meaning of the message. Great job as always, Teal.

[@a.jlondon9947]

I agree. It doesn't help if the parent is mentally ill or has a personality disorder.

[@christophergordon6250]

@@a.jlondon9947 Agreed.

[@UnknownUnknown-zj3pz]

no offense, you're not black my friend. You have a dark brown and varies of brown. Black is the opposite of white and vise n visa. But I much agreed with all families have this issue

[@anaperkovic4820]

Who said anything about race here? Why do you have a need to mention the color of your skin in this context?

[@christophergordon6250]

@@anaperkovic4820 Because I'm mentioning a broader context.

[@dazzykin]

Holy crickey!!! I am Indian and you are speaking to me!! I am in process of some major rebellion with my parents which involves me not giving into guilt trips

[@jozina1]

dazzykin You go you!

[@dazzykin]

Was quite an impactful video for my journey. Thanks teal :)

[@dazzykin]

jozina1 Thanks

[@corsicanlulu]

good luck!

[@angelina2283]

dazzykin why do I hear that. I’m 38, totally blind, and trying to keep my grandmas manipulation. I wish she could actually talk to her friends because I really need her help. I struggle with cutting and I don’t know how to stop. I said I don’t know that I deserve stop. So I wish you could help me with that. But I know she doesn’t usually answer her fans.

[@living9377]

Thanks for sharing this. Many people don’t realize that this is their family dynamic until they decide they want freedom. It is a sad situation.

[@PamOliveiraTarot]

I was born with a narcisistic mother and I always give love expecting something in return. Thanks Teal for allowing not to be this person anymore. This person that can not really love. Thank you so much.

[@Kiawathafrench]

This is exactly what I have instinctively known internally but never spoke the words. Thank you for the confirmation.

[@brothalan1]

Greek words for love: Agape = unselfish love Selfish love: Philia (friendship love), Eros (sexual love), Storge (family love)

[@lextor4712]

love that - thank you.

[@3ang3]

Totally accurate. Greeks have the same upbringing as india/Asia.

[@alex-ander-13]

The last definition 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆, is the one that got my attention. I didn't know about it until I saw your comment! They are quite helpful, thank you for mentioning them!

[@zgwylie]

don't do anything for someone if you are wanting to get something back from them, without communicating that expectation to them first.

[@Garthstimpson]

I admire your courage calling out whole cultures to bring these truths to light

[@nehabahl2179]

I agree with you teal. These people keep you bounded. They blackmail you emotionally. They are hypocrites and this is the reason for most of the sufferings we have in our life. Thanks for this video. I am thankful that I found this channel.

[@hemahenry4253]

I am an Indian. I really appreciate you for speaking up the truth. Very sensational and very true. Thank you.🙏🏻

[@sahar9261]

I admit I repeated some of the cycles I was trying to run away from unintentionally. This video is such a great reminder of what we should be careful of and what needs to be healed and what love should look like. I wish I can send it to everyone I know we all need healthy relationships ❤️

[@kavitavelu]

Bang on!!! I'm from India and whatever you have shared here about the parenting culture is exactly (or even worse) how it is :( It's a trap.

[@corsicanlulu]

OMG this video is gold....and btw hispanic families are aslo like this. its the collectivist culture, whereas american culture is more individualistic

[@sidlopes4429]

corsican lulu , yucky,

[@esaugamez8885]

True

[@blackstarkitty9387]

omg yes!! im mexican and my family was just like this

[@jrb6249]

Thank goodness pleasep000.

[@ytirado5760]

I agree 100%

[@loverlei79]

Watching Teal always reminds me how bad my parents screwed me.

[@lukove671]

same

[@So-vc7yg]

Same. And my mum died in 2016. I was this doting daughter. Part of grieving her unveiled some deep buried, horrific memories and flipped my whole view on her. That's been a process.

[@crystal-gem]

Forgive them, we're all traumatized trying to find love

[@Silvermoonscorpion]

​@@crystal-gemagreed.

[@staceystrukel1917]

The lineage in my family is Irish. Good old Catholic Irish guilt. I gave them their guilt back. I am no longer willing to carry this DNA or to pass it to my children.

[@JulietteZephyr]

I have a Catholic parent too. I have a totally different worldview from this parent. Some of that has to do with the Generation Gap

[@AoibheannDoyle-SoulTherapist]

Same. Irish woman here.

[@flowerchild7820]

I gave up my catholic religion For lent. I was very mistreated via the church. I do have a few aspects of the religion I like but the rest is was demeaning to me. I too was Irish catholic

[@dreamsaresharedhere_]

recovering from the same cult. thank you for breaking the cycle very inspiring message

[@GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023]

Stacey Strukel Bravo 🥂

[@abee8888]

Love this quote. Unconditional demonstration of love. This is no strings attached. This unconditional no strings attached love is the highest form of ecstasy that we can experience on this planet and all beings on this planet deserve to experience this type of love. And let it start with you. ~ Teal Swan

[@lextor4712]

100% dragon born.

[@alex-ander-13]

This syncronicity made me shed a few tears. THANK YOU SO MUCH! 🤍

[@LTCFWTM]

Every Indian must watch this video

[@lillysummer3546]

Wow! I’m Indian and this makes so much sense. I had been watching Teal’s videos everyday and after watching this, I had to stop feeling guilty for being attacked by Indian people who tell me I’m wrong when I tell them the truth!

[@comehometoyourforest]

She is the most insightful person I have ever seen.

[@Heidi_137]

And she's so young for being so enlightened!

[@eternamenteamata]

Hi Teal I've been growing up in this exact circumstances in an italian family. You give me answers and freedom because until not too long ago i wasn't even aware of the fact that this wasn't in fact real love and I thought there was something wrong with me for not feeling the love my parents claim to give me. So shame and guilt have been and still are a big part of my life. I'm starting to heal also thank to you.

[@carlottaventi9556]

Exactly that spider-analogy came to my mind after breaking free from my ex narc. They keep in "relationships" by making you feel guilty for leaving because you always owe them.

[@maishazarinanan5028]

I can see why everytime I've thought about having a boyfriend, I've always decided that I need to approach him with a verbal list. A list of what we are expecting from this relationship. I see now that this was my way of being transparent in the relationship because I feared not meeting expectations.

[@johncena-xr9if]

Listening to this video really made my stomach turn but hey, better to be aware of the truth and embrace the sometimes harsh realities as oppose to pushing them aside and denying their validity

[@hannalyzethis]

And my head hurts. Happens everytime I try to break the contract. And I never have headaches otherwise.

[@RamloghunLuv]

Apart from her wisdom, can we just admire her beauty !

[@thankuthanku6388]

I am Indian, born and bred in England. And totally agree with what you've said abt the culture. I lived it and still live it 😐

[@chaitrakeshav]

Hope you have set yourself free. You’re worth it ❤

[@river1304]

Same

[@d11xox]

I am Indian and I have over the course of my life experiences realized I seek approval and permission constantly. Though I was born and raised outside India to loving parents, this is still an unconscious theme! As a result i have reasons to believe I stay way from any relationship that puts me in debt! I dont thinkthis was a conscious decision but I recognize the root of being a commitment phobe ( find it challengibg to receive to be in debt 😔) I have consciously practised to give without expecting! This is difficult but possible!

[@blissfullyfree8536]

The Caribbean & African cultures are also very much this way. I’m a Haitian woman speaking from experience. This video has been so healing for me. My father loves to remind me how he took us from Haiti to the USA. And how ungrateful we are. This is deep.

[@Layla-fr7mf]

Lol African and Arab here these are the the definitions of our cultures to the core and I escaped as the scapegoat outcast to live my own life I can’t be in that prison

[@federica_la_ferrera]

I'm from South of Italy and i also resonate with this video. I've seen many things in common with Greek, Indian, Arab and Afro-Carribean families. As Teal says, we're not that different after all

[@greenelf912]

Though sceptical of you at times Teal, I cannot deny the profound insights of this piece, having lived this several times over. You have evolved from whence I last saw you and that must be good for anyone. Thank you for your gold standard messesge here.

[@elenol1310]

She is amazing,dude:)

[@larahamilton2273]

“There is great manipulation in this house” as a plaque on the family home wall? Love this 😂!

[@MackenzieFly]

I love how you use stories and analogies to help us understand your message even more! Thank you so much Teal for this message 🙏🏼

[@BxgorJess]

So refreshing to hear someone else, especially a complete stranger you’ve never spoken to, to express your thoughts in words you could never think of & only knew how to feel. I have felt this insight all along, just didn’t know how to express it. Teal, you are an angel. Thanks so much for clearing on so many of my thoughts, confirming I’m not crazy.

[@jocelyn5408]

IVE NEVER APPRECIATED A VIDEO SO MUCH. TEAL YOU ARE SO GIFTED AND IM SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU AND YOUR VIDEOS

[@ellesansmakeup118]

Totally true.

[@cameowww]

jocelyn baer Same. This video floored me and confirmed everything I've known for so long now...

[@mariamnersisyan2511]

Love the video - but I'd also love for you to give us tips on how to navigate if you are born in one of those manipulative households. How to stop feeling shame and anxiety every time you disobey and how to let them know that they can't have expectations if there was no "formal agreement" in the first place

[@rhondathompson3397]

Mariam Ner Hi, may I offer what helped me? After watching this myself I wrote another contract letting me out of the 1st contract ( my parents) allowing for it to be annulled out of not being aware of being in the contract in the first place. Be your own lawyer, put whatever you want in it that makes you feel free. It took me about an hour to write mine, but wow how freeing it felt. I hope this helps you.

[@Pandatruth]

Rhonda Thompson that’s genius! Thank you!

[@bendemare5270]

@@rhondathompson3397 Thank you,I may try this out

[@rameshsharma4422]

@@rhondathompson3397 I had to screenshot this... Thank you so much

[@josepagan5272]

I felt my core shake and my body tremble at the end of this video. Thank You Teal

[@danielvelez3800]

I also feel my cuntalini serpent scurrying up my ass out of my mouth then scurrying to my kitchen to make chicken masala

[@TsvetyB]

Thank you, this did explain to me finally why I enter this pattern of subcontious contracts with hidden strings throughout my life. Moreover I just realized that while I have unconditional love for others, I have none for myself. I have been moving the goal posts throughout my life and very rearly allowing myself love, in accordance with the narcisstic household I grew up in. I have been doing this to myself all my.life and made me very miserable and sometimes pray to others. Now I know why. No goal achived or not should ever stop the flow of love and light you have for yourself and tunning in in the correct path. Thank you again.

[@Exotixa]

Each time your video helps me reveal and understand a little more of myself. These strings are the exact reason why I believe I lost my soulmate.

[@jeromezeigler5806]

I feel like you helped me save my relationship with someone I really love but couldnt figure out what was going on with her. So I bought a photo frame and put one of our old photos together in it and put it in her room as a surprise and have been making sure I ask her if she needs help with anything even though she gets irritated. She already seems to be wondering whats going on so I will just keep thinking of ways to surprise her. I couldnt have done it without your wisdom. Thank You!! :)

[@mrdad-zl9zl]

I worked for an Indian family for years and became really close to them and saw this often. They had such a big and dedicated family system but I noticed how easily one person could get disowned from their entire family for doing for themselves that went against their family values. For example: their adult son wanting a girl friend when he wasnt allowed to date before he was married. We live in America, and I could see how hard it was for the adult kids age 25-30 to not be able to do certain things other people their age in America had freedoms to do such as date, or if they are already married, live in their own apartment not with their parents/grandparents. Being an American it was crazy to me seeing such a traditional culture, from the outside it look like it would be great having such a big family and also parents who don't mind taking care of you past highschool financially and paying for your college since a lot of American family's once youre 18 and out of high school your considered on your own and staying with your family is considered by a lot of other people like you're lazy or won't grow up. Then I realized in the Indian Family I knew that everything was just a trade for something else as you said a transaction and yes ive seen this also in my more traditional italian side of the family but luckily not to that degree. Ive noticed with my family like this they are so fear based, so afraid of something bad happening if you don't live down the street from them that When you want to branch out away from them they fill you with so much paranoia to get you to stay with them, then when you still leave they consider it easier to disown you then to deal with the pain of having something bad happen to you while you are far away from them.

[@lauracabe]

Ray Ray Aaron right, selfishness disguised as "caring"

[@cielphantomhive6682]

Ray Ray Aaron dope pic

[@gwennk4962]

So true Ray Ray Aaron, I married someone from Iran and the word that was used was 'respect'. But it really means 'obey'.

[@cosmicartsastrologicalserv242]

I lived in Asia and I agree. Compared to the US, Asian culture is incredibly fated. There are people who have never, ever made a single decision for themselves, never chosen anything about their lives. On the other hand, your problems are your brothers' problems. In the US, we are on our own almost completely.

[@hayatfaysalfarra917]

The arabic/middle eastern culture is the same as described

[@nupian06]

Even in Somalia 🇸🇴,... We all the same 🙌💯💚

[@observur4691]

glad to see im not the only one (-_-) whats frustrating is that this is considered a social norm and youll be thought off as a crazy ungreatfull person for thinking that when all we want to do is to heal our selfs and fight our demons stay strong :)

[@MrAbood1999]

I was really thinking about that this but I'm not sure if that's the case with mine, it could be. Maybe the fact that I don't recognize the relationship indicates something is wrong? I have options but I don't have freedom to do anything I want because it doesn't sound realistic. They don't even know who I am. Although they keep affirming their love and claim they unconditionally love me but are in denial about who I am as a person. Dysfunctional, but I don't know how much.

[@GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023]

Hayat Al Farra And Italian

[@princesskimo2821]

I am Indian and you just nailed it with the Indian culture thing! There is a common notion in our culture that children are the property of their parents.. Its even shamelessly portrayed in Bollywood movies just check out the movie "Baghbaan" that portray kids as being ungrateful selfish villains and parents as being selfless martyrs.. That movie was highly celebrated for being able to guilt-trip every 'spoiled brat' into showing respect for parents.

[@mariamahady3681]

very True...there are people around me (50+) who did things for me either because they wanted to or they had to, but always remind me that I have to pay them back by respecting them, never saying no them, and agreeing to them...That is not love, that is imprisoning someone. I would have loved them more, if they let me decide who I truly wanted to respect.

[@anonymaus8191]

My ex-husband is from an Asian background. And he basically gives nearly every dollar that he earns to his mother. When he was a child, his father worked in the middle-east. And also sent every dollar he earned back to the mother/wife. She was one of eleven children who grew up in poverty to the extent that she and her siblings didn't always have rice to eat. Anyway, the money issues destroyed our marriage. My family is actually quite wealthy. (Inherited wealth, from my father's side of the family). But not $1 is ever given to me or my siblings unless we behave in certain ways. Which includes never criticizing them for any of their immoral behaviour, or pointing out their obvious lies and hypocrisies, and agreeing with them on all their political ideologies. Obviously I am unwilling to do these things. So no money for me. My siblings are more obedient. In fact, my mother has made her expectation clear, on multiple occasions, that I should be giving some or all of my income to her. Even though she is already more than comfortable due to the inheritance. She has also made it clear, on multiple occasions, that what she would really like is for me to live in her house and provide free housecleaning and cooking services. As well as light banter and general entertainment. And she will be "hurt" if I decide not to do this. Obviously I'm not going to do that either. So I'm a selfish. Not very nice person.

[@chasityawesome]

I am very happy that you stand strong and refuse to see anything aside from your truth!

[@sabarihariharan129]

Actually your mother is the selfish one here. She has enough money but still demand from you. You are strong keep it up. Let her be hurt only then she will understand your pain or atleast you will be safe when she is in pain.

[@raymundocastaneda5208]

Speechless. Favorite Ask Teal Episode ever.

[@claredodd1258]

All beings on this planet deserve experiencing unconditional love. Couldn't put it better myself. Xx

[@MuseSunflower]

Great video Scary but interesting how many people walk around like this (myself included) not even being aware of what they are doing!

[@conan6908]

Fiona, it actually seems like it (could) classify as a type of mental illness. I totally agree with you !!

[@ronaldjames1455]

I too am a victim of this transactional relationship...Thank you Teal for making a difference with your thoughts 💭

[@ShohiniSaha1]

Im an Indian and yes you are so correct! We have been raised up to keep our wishes and dreams aside to fulfil our family's dream.

[@Garnetzx]

this is why I don't talk with my parents anymore

[@majoremgloriam5034]

Garnetzx I thought I was the only one. I'm glad I'm not alone.

[@S3l43r1]

How does this no contact make you feel?

[@IbarraAlejandro]

I thought I was the only one! I'm doing the same they don't support me.

[@likewow3804]

Unfortunately toxic family sets the tone for all future relationships. The only way forward really is no contact.

[@Space.Pimpin]

@@S3l43r1 like a BOSS

[@LAlex7]

You just described my WHOLE family dynamic

[@ohyeahgroovy]

Ur exactly right coming from an Indian girl ... feeling guilty for living , being given a home n food by my family makes me indebted to them. The shame was too much but now I understand it is generational

[@harmonyloveinfinity]

This is so true in many relationships! So insightful. Love that many of us think is love, is not, but it is just manipulation in relationships. Thank you Teal!

[@erikacruz4296]

I grew up in a transactional environment and it created deep codependency issues so much that I ended up marrying a sociopathic narcisist at a young age. Not until I woke up and realized I had a fault in setting myself up for resentment by allowing myself to be in such a relationship did I get over the codependency. I try to stay away from these type of relationships now. They still come for you tho, but u atleast know what it is.

[@marisaaraujolima]

I had never heard someone say in these words that the parent is "eating" the child that's trapped on the web; that's just what my mom used to do and once, many years ago, I had a scary dream that I was sitting with my mom at a table, she had dark eyes, she held my arm and started literally eating it. I was powerless and couldn't stop her from eating me. I knew what it meant and now watching the video gave me goosebumps!

[@KatDancingnStretching]

I love this but would like to offer another perspective for 2 things. The idea that Abraham Hicks teaches, that we ARE intentional Beings, that we DID "Ask" to be born. That our intention for this life was determined by us, in our Source Energy form, before this particular human manifested life time. And also, that, there will always be "invisible strings" connecting us energetically to those we have relationships with. Some are physical, some metaphysical, some in the "Now", some in a previous or future time. Some of these "invisible strings" can be detrimental, unhealthy. BUT many of the "strings", or energy connections, can and are extremely healthy, and also the essence of LOVE and Life itself. Healthy energy connections are like invisible strings, but they are not harmful, they are wonderful. I just wanted to make those distinctions as an additional perspective, and add my thoughts to this lovely message. Thank you Teal Swan!

[@gianna8224]

Living Peach Love I agree, we did ask to be born. Teal has spoken about pre-birth intentions, so that was an odd thing to say. I'm sure she believes in soul contracts/soul agreements etc.

[@tropicaoptica]

Maybe Teal is trying to be more of a direct realist these days. We can't prove we ask to be born, no one can claim to know how it works. Wisdom is knowing we don't know on some matters...

[@judymohre1430]

Living Peach LOVE Your addition to Swan's discussion is perfect and complete. 💚💘💜💛❤

[@KatDancingnStretching]

Thank you!!

[@sharonjohnson2965]

We did NOT ask to be born. Geez

[@graced.6711]

This just makes me feel so so grateful for the kind of parents I have. I could cry rn ❤❤ * calling my dad right away *

[@ascensionlight3125]

Teal Swan im gonna start calling you Real Swan .. what your saying in this video is so true!

[@elizabethfrench8511]

My boyfriend of 11 years are So manipulated by his whole family in just this way. It has stopped our relationship becoming a fantastic love affair. As for no reason they do not want him being with me. I have aventurine even met most of them

[@jeanetteoneil4562]

This is so true. It makes me cry.

[@epiphanysoulguidanceb756]

Thank YOU, Teal!! I Am working on getting out of that type of transactional relationship with a certain someone. Not telling ppl where I will be moving to, so that I can have that REAL freedom of independence and healing out of that environment. & I will be looking for relationships where I can experience the opposite to heal, as well!!! I LOVE you and this is SUCH a great video for me at this time!!! Huuugs!!! 🥰🥰🥰🤗🤗🤗🙂

[@normalfilms7953]

simply stating that im greatfull for your wisdom doesnt begin to describe the help youve given us all

[@nardeenf]

This video blew my mind!!! So many patterns that I wasn’t aware of for sure. Thank you Teal😊.

[@paulmadsen51]

I hope that some day, preferably in this life, I can become as spiritually mature and wise as Teal Swan. What an inspirational person!

[@NextCherryParadise]

What a fantastic video! I tried publibly speaking out about the fact that children don't "owe" parents anything just because they were born, oh boy, do people not take that well 😄I can kind of understand why parents would feel defensive about that statement, but it's more heartbreaking when children themselves fight against that statement. Anyways, it felt incredibly good to hear Teal say that children are not in debt, feels like a validation of what I've been thinking for a while

[@michellestephenson9349]

It is very triggering for parents to hear for some reason. To me it’s definitely the path of least resistance - of course it is, you’re not trying to force your fears onto your kids!! You would like Shefali Tsabari, her message is radical but I think radical change is needed. It’s so validating to hear ❤

[@blankearth5840]

Self Love MUST be unconditional

[@BeTheStar08]

I cannot emphasis enough how eye and ( I ) opening video this was! ❤ ❤️😂

[@Anatura66]

Because i watched this i realized true how many strings i was still attached after years of therapy and self help. I am so appreciative and thankful for the way who Teal is expressing her life work and the integrity of her teachings. It's the first spiritual teacher i really understand and her words are reaching my soul directly. I realize i have work to do in release my strings and attachments that my parents teaches me. Thank you for being alive and freeing yourself Teal. You are a huge inspiration.

[@MuseSunflower]

How exactly do you deal with family and parents who have a hard time letting you be your own person? obviously don't conform to them but is there a way to speak to them so it'll click that "wow, she's not 10 years old..let me step back and let her make her own decisions" ?

[@marit_]

Fiona Monroe I think you know how to, specially if you come from a very enmesh family :). I just want to suggest that don't wait for them to step back, start making decisions (from small to big ones, like what do I want to have as snack or any other smaller thing like that). I think it puts you in the perspective of "hey, I'm actually making decisions here" and from there one gains courage to make even bigger decisions... I think it's great to start the change you want to see inside yourself first, and then the universe does its thing by matching to your vibe and all that magical stuff hahaha

[@maria-gorettimillard6253]

Wow! I am, now, re-visiting, my expectations projections & boundaries, etc. Alongside, keeping myself safe, by doing the next, best, right thing, & freedom, from perpetuating, my childhood programming. TY!!!!!! 😁🧞🧚🧜

[@strawberrymins]

Unconditional love almost sounds like impossible to reach to me tbh... I mean I would always love to get love or appreciation back...

[@lauracabe]

Jinxxapple1313 right its like.... i have to keep thinking about what Teal said "start w a plant or an animal, and just give them something that will make you so happy just by seeing them happy." A dog is a perfect example of this, i hate walking but when i take her around the block she becomes a completely different being that I cant help but feel happy watching her be happy. I do this with my child. I dont know how to do this with my husband or myself or people in general.

[@sanctusignis9746]

start by giving it to yourself, when u get accustomed to it, you won't be compatible with people who are extremely unhealthy transactional in relationships

[@bishakhabhardwaj9575]

Today, I want to take it to appreciate you for everything Teal. I cannot explain to you how much aware you have made me. I have been watching your videos for a while now. I very much appreciate the fact that you have taken it deeply, into all the conscious levels. Listening to you gives me hope and honestly, I have no reason to not believe what you are saying in these videos. Everything is so real and authentic. There is no turning back after someone understands your explanation. I feel blessed that I am connected to you. You are the true friend of millions of people who need to be self-aware. Thanks for this substantial enlightenment. This is undoubtedly going to change me for the best. Thank you.

[@MyITRcom]

I very much needed to see this, I live in India, this has really helped me understand so many of the problems I have had with my relationships here, thank you for this so much. Many of my friends suffer so much due to these issues, I didn't fully understand it until you explained here.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

This was me until only about 5 years ago. I was trying to reason with my parents they were mistaking obedience for gratitude. But then I thought, why do I even have to be SO grateful?! Love = being trapped.

[@1siddynickhead]

BEST TEAL VIDEO FOR CODEPENDENTS AND RESCUERS! PURE GOLD!

[@lextor4712]

yes!

[@felixsoto5807]

Wow I’m totally blown away from this video I was actually feeling guilty for cutting the manipulative strings from my family I CAN feel the pain in you as you explain all this may the universe bless and protect you thank you for being so strong your an example for all of us

[@dmednyte]

oh my god, the universe works in mysterious ways... this video came out just when I needed it. Thank you universe and Teal! Xx

[@allisonkessler17]

You have given me so much to think about. On top of the mental strings, being physically punished with spankings, for example, can elevate the relationship dynamics and cause severe trauma.

[@staceyweckstein1004]

This video has nailed me in my relationship growing up AND how I subconsciously been doing in my love relationships and not being able to relate on a different level with true intimacy. How do you start to get out of this cycle?

[@oliviadawnbeardontwalk7846]

I always worried that I would show “love” to my daughters the way I felt it…with strings…THANK YOU SWAN. This is the first time in my life I was able to see..I love them like myself. I want the very best for them. It’s so different from the “love” I grew up with! To give without expectation.❤️

[@sunitathind8440]

Omg this is soo true! The Indian mentality from my experience of my parents.

[@ingridblohm-hyde805]

I can relate despite not being of the eastern world. I was raised under conditional love the abuse was intense enough that at 25 years old I moved away to the other side of the world to escape this system; however I did not get away without deep scars - still working on this aspect. Thank you for another enlightening video

[@vidaajoon1881]

OMG OMG more on specific cultures PLEASE 😱

[@JadenJahci]

"MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE" -Chris Crocker

[@Incognicia]

My partner was raised in this type of family. I was not. It's very interesting because the contracts I didn't agree to are being stacked up against me and while they are seething in resentment, I don't feel any attachment to whatever feelings they have. I have been confused by they way I'm being treated though.. I have even been told that I owe them, which is news to me.. I don't feel guilty about anything. I've just never experienced anything like this before. Grateful to have been born in a home of love even though I didn't see it through the lens of poverty and parental mental illness

[@lt6573]

Wow, this is so Right ON!!! Thanks so much for helping my heavy heart dealing with my parents tonight Teal...you're so gifted and wise beyond your years..🙏💫 Namaste.

[@sammy_lynn]

Video Ref: Meet Your Needs Priceless Relationship Advice: Expectations and Assumptions Missed that one last year 🥴 really needed that one 🤣🤣 oh the contrast is good though 🧘🏾‍♀️💞

[@Jillady]

Samantha Steele 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@lovem9234]

I wish I could like this 100 times!

[@VassieVlog]

i cried so much.It hits you at the bottom of your truth and needs and desires.