When Happiness Feels Like Self Betrayal - Teal Swan

[@sarahalderman3126]

This was my life. Suffering is still my "safe" place. Happiness is scary and dark.

[@bensprinks]

Wow. I am 65 and have never heard this before. This explains a lot. Thank you Teal.

[@annikabirgittanordlander6887]

”You will never have a happy life, your life will always be suffering and you will always hate life if you fail to acknowledge your own boundaries and limits and fail to assert them”. Teal Swan. Thank you Teal 🌎

[@berniv7375]

Thank you for the free advice.🦋

[@kimbartley9557]

Agree with this -as an adult- however as a child growing up in a toxic family you don't know autonomy. The "caregivers" have all the power and child learns survival -whatever that looks like.

[@upfrontspeaker77777]

The miserable "caregivers" somehow know what's best for you, even though they don't know whats good for them, despite having decades to figure it out.

[@brittney3156]

You have to know you're valuable enough first to enforce boundaries. That's the root of it.

[@sarahcinnamonthriving9563]

Yes... Took me 50 yrs to understand my blocks to valuing ME came from childhood constant beatings conditioning my body's systems to UNSAFETY issues to even TRY to dare value anything positive for myself. Very challenging to over-ride the toxic conditioning to my systems: nervous, Somatic, vagus, Parasympathetic, Limbic, cardio-vascular, respiratory, hormones & brain chemistry... I am working to overcome the restless, anxious, nauseous, trapped, DOOM systemic reactions when I explore gifting myself things I know I want to experience- even sleep, a bath, art. Knowing truly IS only HALF the battle... I am glad to be in the know though, finally!

[@brittney3156]

@@sarahcinnamonthriving9563 I'm glad you mention this. I'm 34 and currently working on all of this.

[@sarahcinnamonthriving9563]

@brittney3156 Thank you for sharing that you are also learning this... I am so sorry any of us went through this added Developmental Damages, and know how hard it is to navigate life with people and systems that don't know or understand these deeper pervasive challenges. I am so proud of people like you who are able to know these things so much earlier in life, tho am inspired and uplifted by all at ANY age, who are gap-filling and healing to their better empowerment! I am proud of you, and believe Future You is going to be so appreciative of Present You and in compassionate awe for your Inner Child selves! I am working on "parenting" those parts of myself to build my own safety, and restore plus expand the inherent interests those younger parts had violently deterred with Twilight Zone attacks and ever-changing crazy-making "rules" of my abusers.

[@brittney3156]

Thank you so much for the support! I'm inspired by women older than me as guides and sisters! @@sarahcinnamonthriving9563

[@TNG0016]

True

[@KyriosHeptagrammaton]

"If you're happy, they win because they kept claiming you should be happy no matter what they do to you. Suffering becomes your only boundary" I had a friend try to explain this to me many years ago, but neither of us had what it took to nail the idea down.

[@marialeina5866]

Gotta love her analysis skills

[@ClairvoyantEntertainment]

Don’t punish yourself for their bad behaviour. Thank you teal you are an exemplary human being.

[@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching]

Sadly you get trained into and then expected though their lack of empathy to live them regardless of how much they hurt you and refuse to acknowledge. I found the best thing to do is to walk away. They mean you no good and never did because your pain is their joy. It’s sicken behaviour.

[@tomusic8887]

There are no perfect human beings 😊❤

[@ClairvoyantEntertainment]

@@tomusic8887 no not perfect, some are impressive though😅

[@goldendiamon]

I don't punish myself for their bad behavior,cuz their behavior is not my problem

[@ClairvoyantEntertainment]

@@goldendiamon its not our fault but we are responsible for our lives

[@ausi1189]

This was 100% my childhood. This is a life-changing video for me. Thank you so much Teal

[@Morale_Booster]

Did anyone NOT have a childhood like this?? I feel like we have all been raised this way

[@inthedetails5467]

I think enmeshment trauma is the norm even if parents are not full blown narcissists because the very nature of wanting a kid is a selfish pursuit and many times even good intentioned parents do this to their child.

[@agnesyoutube]

I don't think we all. I realized a lot of people. Dont hold onto resentment

[@ebbyc1817]

@@agnesyoutube " Dont hold onto resentment "what does this mean in the context of the OP ?

[@annettemesa2079]

All us Gen Xers did

[@brindasingh6309]

Such a perceptive video....amazing

[@Nuverselive]

This is the reason many relationships are struggling with true intimacy. Many of us grew up idealizing relationships unaware of the importance of interdependence which left us vulnerable to codependency and counter codependency. I strongly recommend researching these symptoms to see what kind of relationship you’ve co created. Healthy relationships are possible once we dedicate ourselves to the journey of healing our attachment wounds. Happiness was a threat in my dysfunctional family because it was seen as selfish since no one else was happy. So I learned to suppress my happiness to prevent my family from being offended. Many women are in relationships where they are slowly dying and the man usually has no idea how much the relationship is hurting her. Abuse comes in many shades of gray. Subconsciously suppressing happiness often leads to suppressing our partners happiness. Faking happiness is dangerous especially of depression is in the mix. Many old earth 3D relationships were built on the premise of making each other happy. This isn’t our partner’s responsibility, it’s our responsibility to learn how to be happy.

[@goldendiamon]

Plss don't hurt yourself,you deserve love,you are not selfish for wanting happiness

[@Katlyn2406]

Thank you! This is why when other people look into my parents and say, “you have the best parents in the world.” but then I have never felt loved or cared for and actually feel very much confused about why I feel unhappy when I have “the best parents in the world”.

[@jordenhaddad561]

I got better reminding myself in low moments to not abounded myself. I used to have thoughts like "I'm gonna stay miserable so that my father would see how much he damaged me" "my father doesn't realise how lucky he is that he didn't had to deal with me committing suicide". I gave up the idea that he would do right by me and kept my distance. I am a good person and I don't deserve an unhappy life. I learned self love and I'm doing what gives me joy every chance I have. It easily could have been so much worse for me with that way of thinking

[@R0CK0Nbaby]

Holy sh*t the amount of AHA moments I experienced from just the beginning of the video, and then it kept coming throughout. I've been working on inner child healing, and deepening my awareness of the root of my negative patterns and beliefs, this video has been like a cheat sheet in helping me understand the resentment I feel towards my parents, and how I've been holding myself back from living a happier life. Teal you are a magical woman, truly the most divine gift I have ever come across. I'm so so grateful for your guidance, and so happy to be alive at the same time as you! THANK YOU, all my love

[@katharinebrett-robertson5501]

Omg 😮😮😮 me too this explains a lot

[@GuaduSanz]

You have perfectly described my main youth dilema. I spent many years of my adult life feeling that being happy in despite everything my family did to me was validating their abuse and undermining my experience. After all, it couldn’t be so terrible if you recovered from it. Suffering was the way to protect myself from forgiving and forgetting and end up again in their claws.

[@FakeMyWorld]

It's wild how Teals videos are always on themes I find myself struggeling with in the moment. I am the verbally abusive partner who can't seem to set boundaries for herself. I will try setting boundaries and move towards my happiness. Thank you ❤

[@TheInfinite-Self]

I'm so with you in this. I never set consequences so the suffering still continues and my partner continues to "be free" despite my emotional pain.. now I realise its not the negative effect of my emotions that I want him to see, but to actually give him a consequence! ❤

[@christinethornton7517]

Same here my ex-husband would continually cross my boundaries after I made them clear I thought, and then when he would cross them I would just get angry and more angry and more angry and then he would tell me I'm the abusive one, and till is right with my experience on that it just got worse until one day he tried suffocating me I still don't think I have processed that part but I think I finally realize now that staying in the relationship after my boundaries were crossed so many times never did me any good.

[@marialeina5866]

​@@christinethornton7517I feel you, I had almost the same with physical abuse, glad everything is good now🙏

[@zora4096]

Same

[@mirivmd]

so proud of you babe I'm the same and working on it 🤜🤛

[@lilithjesus7718]

I wasn't sure at first if this wisdom fit my experiences... until a few mins into it , I burst into relieved & grieving tears at finally being seen by you Teal in this way. It fits 100%. Thank you, from the deepest place I exist 🙏 . 👑 Queen .

[@TealSwanOfficial]

Incase You'd Rather Read About It Instead: tealswan.com/resources/articles/happiness-betrayal/

[@creativemindsonja]

Thank you for this. To be honest , you speak very fast and although I know english very well, it is not my native language. And this article really helps.

[@christopherleubner6633]

One thing is I'm unsure what happiness even is. Contentment, maybe. I created or acquired an emotional mirror as a means of protection?. It looks sorta like a ball of mercury, and it mirrors it all. Desires, deepest fears, and the deepest of needs. I saw you becoming extremely powerful as a political and spiritual leader, then saw you being horribly betrayed, ending up homeless, and eventually in a mental hospital. Lastly, I saw a small child, and you tried to hug her at which point you ended up inside of the sphere and became frightened. You asked me, but i could not get an answer as to why such a thing was created.

[@soulhappy]

Absolutely amazing! I never knew why I’ve been so unhappy for the 46 years of my life on this earth till now, been doing so much work on me in my relationship and stopped focusing on him, now I realise this is why I’ve just been suffering and just didn’t recognise why, my mum use to say about her life “this is my destiny I’m meant to suffer” and she let my dad hit us whenever we didn’t study as kids, she never intervened! After so much inner work this is divine timing cause I’m finally ready to receive this information. If it was a year ago it, wouldn’t have meant much cause my body-mind connection would not have registered it together but I’m all there now, if I heard this message with open arms, from the bottom of my heart thank you! You legend!

[@elineeugenie5224]

Great to have written text as well ❤

[@KyriosHeptagrammaton]

The Thea story remind me of how my father kept trying to push me to go to therapy even though I kept saying 'therapy' would be another stressors in my life, and we don't actually have licensed therapists where I live. Needed me to be happy, but refused to let me live my own life in order for me to be happy. Edit: wrote this before you literally used therapy as an example :p

[@darilietas]

Good lord, when Teal talked about the example of the woman and how she entered the abusive relationship, I saw myself with 100% clarity. I wasn't even aware that my parents are related to my difficulties to experience happiness. This video gave me a lot of information to process. Thank you!

[@lindsayforeman9414]

I was meditating about this reality of my childhood and most adult life, crazy. Too extreme for sharing the rest of the meditation publicly, however, my mind and emotions are rapidly changing and healing for the first time in my life! You are so rad! Thank you for being so straight forward. It is truly beautiful

[@KyriosHeptagrammaton]

"Their child's happiness is not part of their own." Cuts deep. Doesn't care if I'm happy as long as they're having good time with me rather than letting me go off and do the things I need/want to do.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Just do it. Why are you waiting for permission?

[@KayoYuuki]

The timing!!! I'm exactly like this, the amount of gaslighting I've been through is insane, everyone lied and hurt me while expecting me to be happy, all I did was think just that, "if I'm happy they get away with it, I need to be angry and sad" wow... and also I put up with a ton of pain before saying anything, when I do I explode and freak out, I'm definitely gonna work on this ty teal

[@MonikaLorenzova]

I've been on my way to healing from depression and BPD since I was 19, now I'm 57. No one has ever told me this and it's so true!! I have a deep respect for you. Thank you for your teaching. Psychiatrists and psychologists should learn from you - not to abuse their patients. I have always suffered from a lack of understanding and empathy from mental health professionals. (I am even further traumatized by the care of these "professionals.")🙃

[@georgemoore6662]

Hi Dear🌹🌹 How are you doing?

[@creativemindsonja]

I had the same experience with psychotherapists. But somehow I knew when someone is not good for that job, so I stopped going there after 2, or 3 times. Now, I am sure psychotherapy can not be learned just in books, because a person had to have personal experience with depression to know what to do and not do with clients. That is a key! The same in sport. You will not choose a coach who learned about that sport just from the books, isn't it?!

[@creativemindsonja]

And if you maybe do not know, Teal suffered from depression many years, she even was suicidal few times in the past. But she ovecomed all this. That is why she know exactly what she is talking about, and why.

[@ThomasTerpening]

I don’t normally post comments on videos. But, I had to share that during this video I had an experience I’ve never had before. It was almost as if you were in the room with me. Coming through the screen in a way, that’s the best I can describe it. Thank you for all you do! 💙

[@aleksandra9929]

Not only happiness...my mom managed make me hate the gratefulness...be grateful for what you have. And made me feel guilty about not feeling grateful for the things I didn't want. And when I try to express gratitude, I hear her voice in my head being all patronizing saying things like "you see...it wasn't all so bad"...i feel horribly angry about this and still powerless, as when I was this child. and the wy to cope, to please my Mother and avoid being punished was to pretend to be mature and sort of enlighted and to push away my needs and feelings. Letting go of this and not being grateful and not feeling pleasure amd sence of enough feels like the only way to show my boundaries amd stsnd up for myself...

[@philhob4317]

Wow, this just described my very existence and has been pervading litterally everything I do in life into adulthood. Very very hard to move on to a different form of existence...

[@blue_sky_bright_sun7599]

I am moving from this. Face your feelings. The real ones. It will be so uncomfortable but you gotta go into the eye of the storm of every emotion and feeling and be present with them to the best of your ability (it's a practice) For example like how she describes in her video: Follow The Feeling Process You will change if you go into yourself and allow yourself to actually experience the pain of it all.

[@TNG0016]

​@@blue_sky_bright_sun7599thank you. It's been heartbreaking for me but my other options are all much worse.

[@kennabenna999]

I would love her to do a podcast

[@thevaleriasofiaa]

She has one

[@khrystynalyra]

Me too

[@HeartFireSessions]

She has been a guest on several other people’s podcasts

[@goldendiamon]

Her videos already are

[@kennabenna999]

@@goldendiamon podcasts are an hour long not 10-20 mins

[@creativemindsonja]

Thank you. Your teachings should be obligatory subject in schools around the world.

[@tonymintz8537]

You just summarized about 92% of the emotionally processing the conclusions I made about my life when I was growing up Thank you

[@the1betterpodcast84]

TEAL SWAN dropping another major piece of my psyche’s puzzle. I am grateful ma’am.

[@lilithjesus7718]

You know that feeling like the world is spinning when a layer of denial inside has been broken? When a breakthrough has occurred? That's me right now, having finished this video. Thank you Teal for this powerful , surgical educational video.

[@AngelaTheDoll444]

Thank you for finally addressing this, Teal. Sadly when this pattern gets combined with other deadly traumas in early childhood the result is even more horrific. Thank you. You are appreciated.

[@PrajaktaShahane-222]

I'm from India and even though I'm financially independent doctor I still live with my mom coz families stay together in our country until we get married it's not compulsory but it's just like that and I am currently having this same pattern going on if I go north I'm literally beaten up to go in direction of what they want and I get consequences for not going also no matter how much I cry they don't feel even a slight discomfort or compassion for me and I can't move out due to high living cost and now I understood why am I match to such people even outside and the pattern that I hold that invites people who don't care about me,I literally wishes for this shadow to be cleared and teal just posted this video I'm so greatful now that I can't explain thank you so much teal ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@celestehernandez2000]

Wow, I see myself in this. Weak boundaries. Thank you, Teal ❤️

[@Jb30562]

Once again a complex dynamic splayed out plainly and directly for what it is. I've tried for years to explain what I felt and saw growing up and my mind would spin into overwhelm due to my fear of confronting my family with direct words and felt I had to say it 'nicely' so I didn't hurt their feelings. Ugh, how exhausting.

[@sally180]

This is exactly the reason I have pondered my childhood often throughout adulthood. I have not wanted to act out the same patterns with my children. ❤

[@aygunhuseynli6518]

Oh my God! This hit soooo strong! Thank you, Teal million times ❤😘🤗

[@navyamekera8145]

I cried.... Painful realizations... I love you for explaining this. Thank you Teal

[@Sunshine-zi7oy]

your words are like magic that heals deeply deeply inside me. Every time i watch a clip of yours i watch it twice on the same sitting, once to hear then the second one to listen carefully and jot down notes, this is exactly how i have been healing myself recently in the past few months. and i am all continuing on the way. thank you for everything you offer and have been offering all these years. i am just a little bit sad because i could not discover you earlier than this time. Everything you give is a treasure.. thanks a lot.. prayers for you..

[@cornwallismorgan874]

Thank you Teal. I've been struggling with this particular issue lately and have felt myself back-slide pretty significantly. This helps!

[@_atira]

Boundaries are the key to a happy life!!! Thank you teal! This video is so spot on

[@gracetyson5570]

Omg. I’ve never heard anyone say that so accurately. Aaaaand im crying now 😅 thank you for sharing ❤

[@RJ-lr8ir]

Thank you Teal, I’ve never felt so understood.

[@jenthang]

This is next level stuff. Brilliant.

[@MysticMandaLLC]

she continues to shock me to the core with every profound insight. I keep thinking there will be a video that doesn't move the deep trenches of my subconscious into the light and I am remain shooketh. every. time. So greatful for the ancestry healing series as I embark on a major tenant of my soul-contract. I just registered my tarot card reading business with the state of arkansas and my mother's disapproval keeps coming into my head. I keep getting the sense that I'm doing something wrong but I now know that I'm just in need of some serious faulty schema de-tangling surrounding my capabilities and the art of being happy FOR ME.

[@UricasUniverse]

It sounds like you are talking about my mother. It's impressive and sad how many people in the comments can relate. Sending love to all of you! ❤

[@foeke7555]

Brilliant 😇, absolutely brilliant. I recognize this pattern. My parents had a enormous tolarance for my pain. So important to see this pattern. My suffer in silence mode is so painful. Thanks for the awareness ❤

[@evandroredfield4421]

Teal Swan has my respect.

[@bunnycassell]

So incredibly blessed by this. Could not have been MORE what I needed to hear TODAY🙏🏻⭐️ Thank you, Teal

[@blue_sky_bright_sun7599]

Reflecting my own life and thoughts so much. So synchronistic. Thank you Teal

[@myrmex1240]

Omg, Teal! Thank you so much! Everything is falling into place now. This explains everything! ❤

[@user-sj1qs5ec4c]

Thank you for this. I could not name some of the patterns/emotions I experienced but this video helped me to make something uncounscious - conscious. Thank you ❤

[@Nina_Kowsari]

This was great Teal. Thank you

[@vectorair1]

Yes! I would love to see how to do this as well!

[@kristinayamada381]

Me too! I have no concept of how to do this. My mom never really escalated because her first consequence was generally severe enough that I wouldn’t misstep again. There were no conditions set for punishment, she would just treat me like I was a bad person that deserved bad things. The rewards of being a good daughter exceeded anything I got out of standing my ground ever (she would just thoroughly tear me apart, vulnerability by vulnerability), so the choice to remain codependently enmeshed was easy… of course, it was never easy.

[@malika6713]

Omg, the one and only person that have ever understood me, people literally have no idea how much of suffering these things give you

[@georgemoore6662]

Hi malik🌹🌹 How are you doing?

[@DayaMcCarthy]

Teal Swan thank you for your videos on KZbin 🥺♥️. Thank you so much

[@TheSoulceress]

Yet another video directly relating to my current experience of reflection, shadow work and healing. I am so appreciative of Teal.

[@mayahmorgenstern6063]

That was so nice of you to transmit. It's really time to talk deaply about happinesses. Thank you

[@amriksinghtziripouloff8627]

Yea, that's my childhood and married life: Not inforcing boundaries until I become very angry then doing the same again and again untill I started to understand who I am and really want and divoced, then watching this video I reconise my life, what was wrong and understand clearly for the first time why inforcing boudaries is so important in a close relation and marriage.

[@coalminersgranddaughter]

You're describing my life. Literally. You're perception is astounding. I'm so glad I clicked this by accident.

[@scumpieee]

Wow, thank you Teal for sharing all of this, this was very eye opening, and sounds alike my childhood and definitely into toxic relationships all my life. I am trying to learn healthy relationships aldough theoretically i understand real life practice hits me in the face. The biggest take away is asserting my boundaries and standing by my side, and the examples you give very explicit, and quite rough I thought to myself first, but then. It s no wonder i keep finding myself in reltionships where i don t feel seen or listened to. Yeah it s painful to realize that i can take pain in, and I do little by little until I cannot take it anymore. So grateful for you and your work. Would appreciate more stuff on the theme boundaries and asserting them, toxic relationships. Much love to you

[@alexisscarbrough4083]

You've just described and explained my mother, whom I've had to disconnect from 8 yrs ago because she was burning and eating me alive.

[@psychedelicartistry]

This actually touched me and made me feel a pain in my chest I haven't felt in a long time. It's good to feel this, b/c by feeling it, by crying it out, you release that trauma/neglect/abuse.

[@thewewguy8t88]

This speaks a lot to me.

[@sailor.93minerva]

I really appreciate your stories and examples of what you're trying to explain in the first half. It really helps me understand what you're trying to explain. That's the way that I learn.. through examples. Thank you Teal xox❤

[@stevo999]

About 2 minutes into the video and I've had so many aha moments that I could literally throw up

[@silfredd]

Divine providence! Thank you Teal, this is so enlightening.

[@healwithallie]

YES! Thank you for this! Boundaries and healing our past trauma are EVERYTHING.

[@gravitalis]

Catching break of boundaries early and small has transformed my relationships, and my life. I've been able to avoid situations that could have turned out very badly just by mentioning that something was off or bothering me or not okay, and either have the person stop that behavior or remove myself from the unwanted situation. 95% positive interactions with people after this shift in my approach vs 50% in the past when I would wait to reach the limit before voicing my concerns or doing something about them.

[@aline__4790]

This video felt like a personal one to Tael. Thank you for the wisdom. ❤

[@tinalconnelly9556]

This made me cry so hard. This is precisely what I dealt with with my mother and in turn did the same thing with my own daughter which of course destroyed our relationship (and other relationships) as it did between me and my mother. I can not seem to get through healing this, therapy never worked and I can't afford any other type of help. It makes me feel so alone and hopeless 😔 (actually, I am alone)

[@kalianva]

[@katharineanonymous6992]

Love the new home page, found this video under the self love playlist !!

[@altheeaself76]

So glad you articulated so well this association between self betrayal feeling and happiness. Thank you ❤

[@Healing4me8383]

So true and deep pain. Adults do this to adults too. Manipulation, gaslighting, and DARVO in relationships.

[@nfischer7854]

Extremely insightful , I also love the guidelines on setting boundaries. I’d appreciate more videos on how to set boundaries and work towards joy.

[@Jen-dp9yd]

My whole existence in one video 😢 wow, this hits to the core issue for so many people, its so complex yet you explain it so clearly, pure genius as always, this one I relate to so much, I was semi-aware of it but it was always just out of my peripheral emotional vision some how. Its painful but healing to finally acknowledge what I've been doing to myself for years, thank you Teal again ❤❤❤❤

[@averagejane09]

I am a work in progress with regards to boundaries and consequences. I am now able to more easily identify my boundaries, I just need to get better at asserting consequences in a healthy way. Thanks, I needed to hear this. I must also say, the way you provide examples really helps as well.

[@405OKCShiningOn]

Thank you Teal, immensely healing upload. It fits into today and i needed to hear it.

[@sherlinefenelon818]

Wauw you are explained exactly how my mother treat me because she was working hard to give i suppose to be happy to what she give me unbelievable teal that is deep session therapie without you present Thank you very much

[@katharineanonymous6992]

OMG TEAL Thea sounds like me and her mom like my mom and the guy she is with like the one so have!! So eye opening

[@patrickkozak9490]

WOW !!! this explains so much, of course it's so many years in childhood of repeated patterning and training, It's unfortunate. As an adult we forget how much time actually went by with experiences as a child. Yes, also it enrages me the new age and "spiritual" communities that speak all day about being and choosing your happiness and so on

[@ElaEdgar-mp4ql]

Thank-you Teal. You're video came at a time when I was ready to understand what happened in my childhood and my last (very unhealthy) relationship. This was always something I felt but never understood... until now. This video has been life-changing. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart.

[@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching]

So Acurrate. Thank you Teal

[@Lynn-uh4ul]

This is such an important topic. This video opened my eyes. More on this Teal!

[@PaigeSquared]

Wow. Thank you. I sat in my room and read books on weekends. When my mom came home from work, I was allowed to no longer watch my siblings; I would walk to my grandparents' house, only one block away, fortunately (?). I remember liking the quiet. In retrospect, I had undiagnosed ADHD and was blamed for any dysregulation, not given any guidance or support in finding emotional safety. My dad didn't see it, he told me to back off, that my mom "is a good mother." He thought because she was aware of childhood development, meant she would be able to value my wellbeing over her immediate comfort; that was not the case. He passed away not knowing that the belief that he was a burden was her fault, he had internalized it from her. She can easily make me feel the same way. He had no idea how much my siblings and I wanted him in the young adult stage of life. It sucks to not have someone cheering in your corner.

[@jadeinthewoods]

I’ve followed Teal’s work a long time, like 10 years or so. I know her backstory pretty well and the character “Thea” that she describes sounds a lot like her story. If this is true, I’m so sorry that you went through that and thank you for using your story to help others.❤

[@fabio6466]

I love you Teal , and im so pleased to see you in Rome soon.❤ thank you for another gem

[@gabi.8.10]

The best explanation about betrayal yourself ! Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤!

[@sophiefuldauer]

omg this is exactly what I needed in this moment. I was wondering why my dad saying "still come visit, just a shorter visit and I'll stay at my girlfriend's" made me so sad instead of seeing it as a logical workaround for our bad relationship.

[@natalliya2703]

Thank you, Teal. This info is lifechanging to me and my own kids.

[@maryannspicer3192]

Omg she is always right on point!!

[@georgemoore6662]

Hi Mary🌹🌹 How are you doing?

[@maryannspicer3192]

@georgemoore6662 Just Listens and learning.

[@kinethecoach]

Thank you, Teal! The timing of this video👌🏼 Wow, I am home w/my parents this weekend for the 2nd time in like 3 years.. And yes, I need to look into and do some healing work with this pattern for sure🙏❤️ You're the best! 👑🌌💞

[@bethaneypilat6801]

Mind blowing truth. Thank you for explaining this so well.

[@georgemoore6662]

😢

[@jeffreywerner1099]

Bingo! Spot on. Thank you, Teal.

[@simonedaurevoir668]

Such a delicate topic and a compassionate way to approach it. Thank you Teal...

[@anupannu1099]

Thank you Teal for finally talking about this. I have been waiting for your talk on this forever.

[@geomicer]

I'm glad I don't know what you are talking about, but I have met many people who seem to be dealing with this situation. Hopefully they'll watch your video. Thank you 😊

[@stephfeels555]

This is so so so on time. I have only started and I know this is for me.

[@empowerment.artist]

If it's unsafe to be happy, you start to betray yourself when happy bc you (subconsciously)fear rejection/abandonment if you're too happy. So you have to betray yourself first. I put ot on myself as my mental health declined that "I should be grateful and happy" because I was blind the dysfunction. This dynamic is possible also when the care giver(s) aren't being mean: they just don't know how to handle emotions, including joy, happiness and excitement. I did think through this very carefully and Teal also mentions what parents *fail to do*, but in the example, the mother is obviously unaccepting/abusive. While in many cases, as in mine, it's very subtle and I wanted to put that out there. I didn't know I grew up in a dark gloomy home, in isolation and neglect because of lacking the contrast. Last note, I feel like everyone who grew up had it served to them that someone else suffers more. "Starving children in Africa" was a common phrase to make kids finish their portions.

[@bravex9723]

Yep my family life to a T.. I've cutoff both my parents now because of this. Finally healing.

[@manyBlessings2all]

Wow, that feels really powerful, & relevant, & painful.. & my mind is reeling /dissociating, crying too, feel so confused, try so hard to make sense of things and live better, this boundary thing has been spoken of so much over the years by various people but I still don't 'get' how to action it, tho Teal's examples and about consequences is helpful, tho still daunting & somehow nebulous how I could actually do it. Thank you Teal for the info & explanations, & thank you others here who I'm sure there are, who feel same as I do or at least understand 😢🌸💕✨🌳

[@joniwink]

Another eureka moment! Thank you Teal