Tears of the Kingdom - Goron Addicts

This is pretty much verbatim what happens in the game. I hate to do the "videogame do duh drugs" joke, but it's literally what happens in the game.
also if you're wondering how Zelda is able to be present for this, please shut up! let me have my joke!
ALSO also, if you're wondering why links new arm switches sides! magic. Now don't acknowledge it, please!
Zelda voiced by OpaluVA (their account is NOT for kids! must be an adult!): / opaluva
Merch and Shirts: tinyurl.com/Goobmerch
My Newgrounds: doobus-goobus.newgrounds.com/
My Twitter: / doobusgoobus

[@Zwyrx_Hgqfyggz]

"Ganon is a fed" is probably my favourite Doobus joke of the year holy fuck

[@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225]

Dammit, now I really want there to be a mod that turns Ganondorf into a CIA agent!

[@ZX-Gear]

Ganon took some lessons during his time serving under Reagan.

[@gekigami1791]

​@@ZX-Gearabsolutely in love w/ the idea that Reagan is (accurately, might I say) so comically evil that GANONDORF, THE KING OF ALL EVIL AND THE PERENNIAL SCOURGE OF HYRULE, is simply an underling to him

[@manlysoutherner3696]

@@gekigami1791Not everything is about politics you ignorant liberal!

[@manlysoutherner3696]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@ZX-GearRead my reply to gekigami1791!

[@ursinetimes9389]

Rito: "Link please turn off the AC." Gerudo: "Link please turn on the bug zapper." Zora: "Link please stop pollution." Goron: "Link. Want this cool ass rock?"

[@Mendoza-yi6qk]

True

[@blazingsonic]

THIS ISN"T ZELDA!!! This is Captain planet!!! We've been duped!!!

[@BigaloMax]

I thought the gerudo was more like stop this sand storm. (And the bug men making it)

[@rynemcgriffin1752]

More like Gerudo: “Link we have a wasp infestation” *Gibdo Queen buzzes angrily in the background*

[@Psych0gmr]

Wait. For the gerudo one wouldn't it be turn off the fan?

[@JJ_R]

This is… surprisingly accurate.

[@jeremygregorio7472]

No way. Nobody pays social workers.

[@JJ_R]

@@jeremygregorio7472 Probably peanuts, but those peanuts can be duplicated.

[@thevioletbee5879]

@@JJ_R Not anymore.

[@jeremygregorio7472]

@@JJ_R Americans aren't going to waste good peanuts on a social worker. Except maybe to throw them at them.

[@woomigi_64]

@@jeremygregorio7472 Free Peanuts

[@HeisenbergFam]

1:00 "im a social worker, I get paid by the hour" My condolences to Link having to deal with social work

[@Kiwi_J]

Hello again

[@weed884]

you seem like the kind of person who would get people addicted to rocks

[@neighborgoods7624]

It's You again! HEISENBERG! YOU'RE HEISENBERG!

[@ilovetron90]

A one in a milion chancs

[@Neimonster]

@@weed884 Yeah... Crack rocks

[@oshahott2532]

BOTW: "Yeah some of our weapon animals are like possessed or something." TOTK: "The Gorons are on meth, there's sky diarrhea at the Zora's place, and the Rito and Gerudo are having freak weather storms caused by giant fucking monsters." 10/10 game.

[@segadoeswhatnintendont]

Also the sentient forest got hit by climate change

[@oshahott2532]

@@segadoeswhatnintendont Oh and evil Ganondorf goo parasites, can't forget about those

[@FerrumBlade]

The plans Ganon made: Make an eternal sandstorm filled with humanoid bug monsters to snuff out the Gerudo Create a constant blizzard to freeze the Rito Sully the water of Zora’s domain with sludge And get the Gorons addicted to crystal meth (Ganondorf’s been to Florida, he knows what he’s doing here)

[@puppetgeneral39]

To be fair, it was working.

[@tezereth]

I think we saw the same video. Good stuff. I completely forgot who made the video in question tho

[@FerrumBlade]

@@tezereth A fella by the name of Shayy

[@youssefbencheikh8637]

Family guy x steven universe 💀 i can't take this anymore

[@trevorjamieson8892]

I bet Ganondorf was gonna use the Gorons as slave labor once the other races of hyrule died out, using the marbled rock roast as a way to control them.

[@paladingeorge6098]

I can't believe you didn't bring up the fact that Yunobo is just casually a drug dealer that wears a luchador mask.

[@lojika1majik]

Mob Boss Yunobo.

[@paichni3474]

Makes his character slightly less horrible, so of course they had to change it back.

[@GorbWasHere]

Literally GORO Majima

[@TechBlade9000]

​@@paichni3474Spine removal surgery

[@callmezeldaonemoartime]

…for all of 2 seconds

[@cking4869]

I love how they say the rock roast is too hard for children and elders to eat, making them unaffected by it. So the devs KNOW it's meth, and wanted to avoid having children on meth, because it is, indeed, meth

[@reynsbasement2654]

"Holy shit, Ganon planted meth in the goron community hes a Fed" That line fuckin killed me 😂

[@mr.leeleeleee7153]

I know the video game characters doing drugs joke is overdone to shit,but at least with this its true to the source material.

[@thebaseandtriflingcreature174]

It's ACTUALLY funny cuz it's true!

[@MSCDonkeyKong]

this is literally what i said when i got to this part. literally all of it.

[@ethanbarker5530]

And the joke isn't just "ha there doing drugs." There's more to it.

[@probablyjinxed]

before this video the last time i laughed at a “haha the video game character does drugs” joke was in like 2017 lmfao

[@FroggBoy1]

Zora: *Waters poluted from the sky, poisoning the people* Gerudo: *Strange creatures attack the capitol, forcing the Gerudo people to leave behind their homes into hiding* Rito: *Forced into a unending winter, slowly starving the people as their food wilts and dies* Goron: *BREAKING BAD THEME INTENSIFIES*

[@ninab.4540]

This is all true

[@BloodInTheStrawberries]

Link's theme going into the Death mountain abyss should have been better call Saul's opening theme. He is basically the Saul Goodman of the Zelda universe, war crimes and all.

[@brantmui3065]

You know those “drugs” are just suspicious looking rock roasts.

[@level5650]

Yunobo: I’m not in danger Link, I AM the danger. A Goron opens his front door and gets his skull crushed with a boulder breaker, you think that’s me? No. I am the one who knocks!

[@TheSleepingSeer]

"I am the one who _rocks!"_

[@manlysoutherner3696]

@@TheSleepingSeer👌🏻

[@manlysoutherner3696]

@level5650 I gave your comment its 200th like. 😉

[@thegoldenaegis]

Ganondorf really pulled a british empire and sent them opium but rocks

[@ninab.4540]

And forgot to use te spice rack

[@akumasstorytime3910]

Nah. He pulled a FBI and made several minorites addicted to crack to keep them oppressed.

[@hasturthekinginyellow5003]

I just love the fact that Lord Ganondorf "The Great, The Beast, Demon King, Prince of Darkness, King of Lies, Prince of Evil, King of Thieves, The Catalyst of Calamity" the wearer of the Triforce of Power (literally the most powerful of all the triforces) took a page out of Ronald Reagan's book, like he just couldn't think of a more evil idea than him.

[@Epic_Irony_real]

Lord Ganondorf "The Great", The Beast, Demon King, Prince of Darkness, King of Lies, Prince of Evil, King of Thieves, Catalyst of Calamity, Demise Incarnate, Wearer of Power, Glowing Envoy of the CIA.

[@LuckyHicks2]

I’m pretty sure all of Ganondorf’s iterations have done less net damage to Hyrule than Reagan’s policies have/will have on planet Earth. …this started as a joke, but I think that’s just true.

[@LordVanOskuro]

Did Reagan actually know his officials were part of the drug distribution? I thought he didn't know?

[@charleswentworth1530]

​@@LuckyHicks2and I now live in renewed fear of conservative policy making

[@LuckyHicks2]

@@charleswentworth1530 I get thatt. It's not...un-survivable, or unstoppable, per se, but it is scary as hell.

[@larrylaffer3246]

Makes sense for Ganon to do that. He has the Triforce of Power after all, and sometimes you gotta assert that dominance in a way that doesn't involve brute forcing your way through everything.

[@Crow_Rising]

The brute force is a lot more flashy when you flex it AFTER the political domination.

[@JeiJohnson]

But wouldn't that be more of a WISDOM trait, not a POWER trait? Power is all about force. Wisdom is about planning.

[@alexsuutari2388]

Zelda has the full triforce in BOTW hyrule.

[@Crow_Rising]

@@JeiJohnson You've never needed a particular piece of the triforce to exhibit it's traits, it simply attracts to those who most strongly exhibit one of the three traits. Link, Ganondorf, and Zelda have all three always had plenty of wisdom. It takes a lot of planning to accomplish what Ganondorf did in, say, Ocarina of Time, as well as for Link to accomplish many of his feats. Zelda is simply the most wise of the three. Likewise, all three exhibit courage as well, with Zelda regularly putting her life on the line for the people of Hyrule and Ganondorf not shying away from being on the front lines of his own invasions. Link is simply the one who exhibits the strongest courage. And of course, they all exhibit traits of power as well, and you can probably already see where this is going so I won't repeat it again.

[@tinyetoile5503]

Ganondorf doesn't have the triforce of power in TotK. His ears turned pointed when he has the triforce of power. His ears are round in TotK.

[@CyberXIII]

This is the best voice for Link I've ever heard.

[@hhfggvogtthehy6451]

As a person who has never played the game, this is very accurate.

[@bacht4799]

It’s so good.. I haven’t played it either but that social worker bit is just too brilliant ..

[@antifurryfoundation55]

As a person who has played the game, this is very accurate

[@tezereth]

I went through the Goron quest thinking "OF COURSE it could only have happened to the goron!"

[@alexanderdevries8364]

Link has such a strong stomach he can digest pure stone.

[@realblueman_II]

Cannonically proven by a cutscene in age of calamity

[@thatonedude932]

@@realblueman_II not to mention that link also has some of the strongest teeth imaginable

[@abdelkrimelabassi5065]

As long as it's cooked in oil on a hot stove

[@mintypump649]

@@thatonedude932 Meaning that link could go live in Goron city and eat rocks all day

[@thatonedude932]

@@mintypump649 a true blood brother

[@alexu658]

Rito: *caught up in a massive blizzard that is destroying there homes and food supply* Zora: *nasty sludge that is infecting the waters and suffocating the residents* Gerudo: *Massive sandstorm and hive monsters that are preventing them from leaving an underground shelter* Gorons: *d r u g s*

[@matuefamily7829]

I was absolutely laughing at this comment😂

[@crackerjaq9974]

I was not prepared for how sincere Zelda's voice sounded. Not a hint of comedy whatsoever. No exaggerations, no comedic pauses, no satirical emphasis. That woman was genuinely concerned for the inefficiency of the Group Goron therapy session. Brilliant job, Goob, hiring an actual voice actor this time. He's moving up in the world.

[@bgaming2297]

This actually isn't the first time he's hired another VA lol

[@thatcleverfox]

Don’t forget Link teams up with a reformed peddler to take out the main supplier

[@davebtuu9480]

Link sounds like Finn from Adventure Time if he was a 19 year old college dropout that’s really sweet but also completely done with life.

[@windy4566]

You gotta stretch it but if “sleep for a century” equals college dropout, than the 19 year old and sweet parts check out pretty well lmao

[@lydiajulianprower8356]

I was thinking Link from the CD-i days.

[@normalhuman9878]

Holy fuck you just described me perfectly

[@ImSparky2002]

@@normalhuman9878 cringe

[@normalhuman9878]

@@ImSparky2002 I may be cringe, but I am free

[@binkyboy448]

Not a lot of people ever really considered that some rocks may be bad for Gorons. If they weren't, they would've eaten that big boulder blocking Dodongo's Cavern in OoT.

[@fatcerberus]

Either that, or they just didn't want to eat the Goron equivalent of an octuple-decker cheeseburger and get fatter than King Zora.

[@1Thunderfire]

I mean, it's not like we eat type of meat so we can't expect Gorons to want or be able to eat every type of rock.

[@BullyPop]

The ending absolutely killed me

[@pikachu591]

I love how in these animations they squish their whole body to chew

[@Magicdfox]

zelda being on board with it at the end is honestly the funniest part

[@Galko655e]

Because she knows how much rupees Link makes to be rich from this.

[@NelTora]

The "sedimentary" layers of this joke is just magical.

[@augustus6224]

Boooooo

[@ThatIdiotOmega]

Ganondorf literally became Cold War era CIA and I'm all for it.

[@elitely6748]

Doobus never fails to impress me with the amazing range of his voice in every video. Best Link voice I've heard.

[@notstonks432]

I still find it funny how the other three areas all have intense weather phenomenons, and the Goron's are just addicted to magic meat

[@juliaa__.]

the social worker joke made me piss my pants lmao

[@anhalt1444]

Fed Ganon isn't real he can't hurt you Fed Ganon: 0:36

[@LisaVGG]

I got…incredibly mad when I saw Yunobo, but now that everything’s okay again he’s back to being my favorite Goron goro

[@tomioluwa1284]

If Legend of Zelda ever gets an animated movie like Super Mario Bros this what I expect Links voice to sound like 😂

[@InterruptingOctopus]

Rito, Zora, and Gerudo: suffer crippling natural disasters Gorons: Breaking Bedrock

[@sygiliph2495]

I love how Yunobo is in the rehab scene because [WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS DETECTED. COMMENCING CENCOR.] Oh, and yes. This actually fucking happens. The Gorons are on meth.

[@Cupheadsadvocate]

The way Zelda says "OOOOH!" in the end is just so fucking cute

[@Lady_of_the_Land]

The rito were facing such terrible blizzards that were killing their economy and leaving them on verge of a famine; the Zora were facing sudden pollution that was destroying their tourism industry and slowly poisoning them all, with their king reduced to hiding in a cave while on the verge of actually dying; the Gerudo were faced with massive sandstorms and mummies invading their town, forcing them to take refuge in an underground bunker; the gorons just got addicted to drugs

[@user-oh2uk7jj5r]

Zelda's voice is super accurate

[@matthewmccoyd2578]

"What are all those heads?" "These are the Faces of Meth." "Golly!"

[@adamwilliams4928]

LOL! I lost it at that quick cut $70! 🤣 To be fair, THAT game actually feels like it's genuinely worth that.😊

[@mjmystic2164]

No it's hella freaking fun and I love it but it does not equate to $70 dollars. Maybe if there was like Base Game + Game Expansion + Misc then yeah I'd agree to that price being fair and expected. But this game just feels like a game expansion. I got it as a gift and am thankful for it but still wish they could have bought it for 45-50$

[@adamwilliams4928]

@@mjmystic2164 When you put it that way, I see where you're coming from.

[@ShadowAraun]

@@mjmystic2164 you can get it for 45-50$. there is a nintendo digital game voucher that is 100$ and redeems for any 2 digital nintendo games, and at some retailers you can get it cheaper (for example, Costco where it is 90$) that said it isn't an expansion in any way, and games costing 70$ is going to be normal. the fact is games are now 3-4x more expensive to make than they were back when they only cost 40$ so honestly we should probably be glad they don't all cost 100$ at this point companies have found other methods to keep costs down; going mostly digital, merchandising, and alternative monetization for example.

[@pointcrowscreepyuncle]

@@mjmystic2164 its less money then botw accounting for inflation

[@justgotta7700]

I loved that Link at first sounded like the CD-I version of him.

[@YourBuddyBrady]

My man Yunobo be big pimpin in this game. When he showed up with the fur coat and rangs i screamed aloud.

[@pgb8367]

Ganondorf really said "Yunobu, we need to cook" and started breaking bad, and forced Link to became a DEA agent

[@-TPLT]

Zelda's so supportive of Link making money off of slowly helping the Gorons get back on track. How nice.

[@Atlas_go_gym]

“Ganon planted meth in the goron community, he’s a fed”

[@MasterGasser_17507]

Link as a social worker is like Ganon never coming back for another game.

[@dimitriwarchief301]

“Ganondorf a fed” Ok that’s truly evil

[@go-gogodlike6179]

I loved this part of the game for the dark humor of it all. The game plays it funny "hahaha gorons addicted to crack rock literally" but it's fucked up in the details: A goron blacksmith's apprentice gave up his dream for dat rock. A little goron is being yelled at by his big brother to scrap together all thier money for more of dat rock. Etc its fucked up

[@lemax6865]

A small business owner tanks his thriving bistro for more of dat rock. A safety inspector neglects his duty and puts everyone in danger to enjoy dat rock. Crime goes rampant as scammers (possibly muggers, you don't see what happens if you say no) assail passersby so they can sell their shiny rocks for more of dat rock. The old and young are left to fend for themselves as their providers abandon them in favor of dat rock. Their entire society brought to the brink of collapse thanks to the corruption of their leadership and the introduction of dat rock by an outside, malignant force. The only unrealistic part about that story is how easy it was to fix.

[@jvts8916]

That reminds me of Gorman from Majora's Mask, who actually managed to get drunk by drinking milk. The remake even escalated it to a sidequest to cure his hangover.

[@TicTacPilgrim]

His link voice has that slight hint of Saturday morning cartoon link.

[@nsmith2825]

To be clear, this might be the first game to come out that is actually worth the $70 price.

[@markdibuo3756]

I agree, this game is pricey for a first party Nintendo game.

[@alphonsestardrop8709]

​@@markdibuo3756A. Most switch games are 60-70 dollars each. B. Thats not what they said

[@Wooshey_Wooj]

I was pleasantly surprised when they introduced crack roc.. i mean rock meat in a Nintendo game. I couldn’t stop laughing at what they were saying under its control.

[@dwerical]

As someone who has never even played ToTK, I can confirm that this is super accurate.

[@Aaronschannels]

“… he’s a FED.” Beautiful.

[@StockingAnarchy112]

"I need the crystals Crash, I NEED THE CRYSTALS CRASH"

[@SpriteTheWolf]

Zelda's little "oooh!" at the end is the best

[@dori6326]

my brother has been playing this one and he was telling me about it as we walked home from the store one day. one of rhe first things he says to me is "so the gorons have a crack addiction" and i laughed my ass off

[@Stanley42069]

That "Oooh" at the end got me real good ngl

[@molifrobinson270]

I just got to Goron Village last night and this was my first thought: Ganondorf weaponized the crack epidemic against the Gorons

[@keanuthebest444]

I expected Zelda to be voiced by him, I was pleasantly surprised

[@finallyimginger3223]

If i had a nickle for everytime ganon had a plan to disrupt the gorons via messing with their food supply i would have 2 nickles, witch isnt a lot but its weird that its happened twice. Which i guess for rock people its hard to mess with them in other ways, but he also did revive their natural predator

[@maninblak1941]

Yea that rockroast plot line was quite interesting considering the implications 😂

[@myleswelnetz6700]

Most of the Goron NCPs just sit around and chew away like there’s no tomorrow.

[@cheese4g]

This video has an adult voice actress in it! The laws of comedy dictate that we must give it the most views!

[@SoulSaber06]

Well, Ganon also shit in the Zora's water supply. Imagine how many died of septic or will die from cancer.

[@enigmaticphantom8389]

F

[@arekrekas213]

i love zelda's "OOOOOOOO!" at the end

[@FireFox64000000]

Oh good I'm not the only one who made that connection.

[@bryanarmstrong8910]

I dont know whats worse, Ganon being a Fed or Links way of helping

[@kingdevon2548]

Probably both

[@barneystinson4289]

America moment

[@sailordarty9032]

"It seems the true evil was capitalism all along." Meanwhile, Ganondorf is angry he didn't think of it first.

[@davidhong1934]

Eggman did think of it, but the US healthcare system was already in place

[@Pridetoons]

Best Comment

[@huntergman8338]

Problem, these fields are not funded by companies, but by the government.

[@yuichikita6018]

@@davidhong1934 He then tried taking over the education system, but the US also beat him to the punch on that one.

[@kingofcards9516]

How?

[@myleswelnetz6700]

As soon as I saw those Gorons’ eyes, I knew there was off about them.

[@dr.plague9927]

damn i can't believe mathew mercer got a bunch of rock people hooked on smoking meth

[@jreese7436]

This is the most wholesome thing I've seen with Link on the internet on a long time. Thank you. Faith in humanity restored.

[@thelegendaryarceus5618]

Always a good day when Doobus posts

[@glaucoantolino7830]

“Gollu Gee Whilikers!” My man LUNK sounded like a 1800s industrial entrepreneur🥸

[@geardog24]

"70 Bucks: Pay Up! Edition." I think I'll wait a few years for the $90 bonus pack.

[@omniultimate]

Gotta pay for all those armor upgrades somehow 😂 I mean look at him, still wearing the starting armor 🤣

[@maxkeegan9183]

Love the Ganon design

[@kyplys6930]

0:38 this lil sequence is just perfect

[@suitedummy]

Rito:its all freezing we have no food and no one can go up into the clouds but i child Zora:all the water is polluted our king is gone our second king is trying to heal the water Gerudo:We cant see out get food because of a sandstorm monsters thats only weakness is fire and bugs Goron:walter white YO

[@Mankey619]

I like that Link has to look at the game’s title, just to know which one he’s in.

[@Romalac]

Fully voiced Link is not real, he can't hurt-

[@davidhong1934]

"Well, EXCUSE me, princess!" _--someone that actually isn't Link_

[@levferno483]

The voice you give to link is the same voice he has for the CDI Zelda lmao. I can't wait to start playing Tears of the Kingdom.

[@twistan3230]

Despite making up 13% of Hyrule’s population, Goron’s commit 50% of rupee theft

[@ivanatorrr]

I was a BIG fan before this but now i'm a whole air conditioner

[@tblacksmith6008]

I haven't laughed this hard in two years like gawdamn this is so accurate

[@swaginton1180]

When I first saw this skit and I hadn’t played the game yet so I thought it was a complete joke, but nope, Ganon quite literally drugged the gorgons

[@Antnj81]

0:40... this part cracks me up, but i wish you gave the baby Goron the "OOF" song when it died lol 😆

[@Pridetoons]

"Link this seems very inefficient." "I'm a Social-Worker I get paid by the hour." Dear God Link you may be just as if not worse then Ganon!

[@MySingingCoverist]

All I did was switch from a tab back to KZbin, and this was already in my recommendeds.

[@PrixtoTNT]

"Link, this seems... a bit inefficient" And spending three hours trying to build a huge flying and letal mecha wasn't? I'm not gonna hurry to search for you, don't even try

[@VampireA1056]

Should've thrown a "Wel Exuuuuuse Me Princess" in there

[@maxwellhouse0798]

I love this

[@tiseril]

Amazing

[@ethanbrandt8617]

"Marbled meth roast" is the only thing Im going to call it from now on

[@KJetixsSuccessor]

It never occurred to me like that until you put this idea in my head. 😂🤣😂

[@Octo_Numa]

I love it

[@Wizzrobok2137]

Cool video 👍

[@inehesene2408]

This is still my favourate video of Yours and with your killer humour thats saysing something!!!

[@rjai5003]

Then he mind-controlled Yunobo into becoming a dealer