Tech Dif Make Ice Cream - Will It Soft Serve?

Matt bought an Ice Cream Machine, so we all had a play with it!
Will It Soft Serve? / willitsoftserve
Two Of These People Are Lying: • Two Of These People Ar...
Previously, CITATION NEEDED: • John Stonehouse and Dr...
WEB SITE and MORE AUDIO EPISODES: techdif.co.uk
Featuring:
Tom Scott: tomscott.com - / tomscott
Matt Gray: mattg.co.uk - / mattgrayyes
Gary Brannan: / garybrannan
and Chris Joel, who doesn't do this social media nonsense

[@mattandtom]

This was filmed in December 2019, before anyone had heard the phrase “Social Distancing” widely before. Thanks for your concern. -Matt

[@TheAechBomb]

oh, this was posted today I thought it was older because I've been binging videos

[@goosebumper88]

Please try steamed mince meat w/ spices

[@IstasPumaNevada]

I figured this was almost certainly the case, but thank you for explicitly stating it. :)

[@bj_]

It was a different time... the socially non-distant past.

[@realbland]

Damn how long does it take you make videos? is this a normal time?

[@Jasp_B]

I feel like I'm watching the teletubbies make tubby custard

[@brandonmartin-moore5302]

Perfect

[@TheAcdcninja]

There’s even something about the frame rate that makes it seem extra teletubbyesque

[@meetaverma8372]

Including the machine's sound

[@TabooGroundhog]

Bulldog D “Teletubbyesque” is my new favorite word

[@MetaBloxer]

So, who's going to speed up this video 4X and put teletubbies audio over it?

[@IstasPumaNevada]

I'd much rather have a friend who has a soft serve machine, than be the friend who has a soft serve machine.

[@PlanetComputer]

I dont know what to put here

[@hamsandwich4243]

I’d want to be the friend who has a soft serve machine because then I could have soft serve whenever

[@imstupied]

Why can't we all have soft serve ice cream machines? And we'd have a competition to see who can make the worst possible soft served cream

[@katelights]

just like boats.

[@andrewlacy5509]

'we need to turn this on' Gary: you're a lovely machine .. Best gag of the video

[@mirjanbouma]

I missed that!!!

[@sofijeffrey9797]

How did I miss that

[@stumbling]

He should have his own 70's sitcom.

[@intton]

!!!

[@dragoncurveenthusiast]

3:25 for anybody who's looking for it

[@verdatum]

I am convinced that this series only exists so that Matt could buy a professional-grade soft-serve machine as a business-expense tax write-off...And I am not only alright with that, I admire it.

[@cameronsteel6147]

Hovercraft? What hovercraft?

[@richardmillhousenixon]

@@cameronsteel6147 I don't see a hovercraft, all I see is a load of money

[@x9x9x9x9x9]

My thoughts exactly.

[@Ostermond]

@@richardmillhousenixon L-O-D-S...

[@wolframstahl1263]

Chris Joel, once again the humble man of infinite hidden talents.

[@dr.castor1392]

When I say ornith, you say ologist! Ornith!

[@lukasbieri]

@@dr.castor1392 Ologist!

[@thequeenofspades]

He does seem to be the quiet man who can pick up anything instantly.

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

@@dr.castor1392 Ologist!

[@idndyzgaming]

@@dr.castor1392 ologist

[@MoempfLP]

9:24 "You`re losing your cone angle, dude" "You`re losing... You`re losing..." "Dude, in your hand" "In... In..." "Matt, in your hand!"

[@dominateeye]

When you see an imminent problem and desperately need to communicate it but can't think of the words.

[@burke615]

As someone who once had a job at a frozen yogurt shop, my critique of Matt's style is that you should start the bottom of the spiral on the lip of the cone. Fill the cone up, then immediately start spiraling upward, reducing the diameter of the spiral gently as you go. You can easily get something as tall as he did without the bending issue he ran into. Gary's technique, though - opening your gob directly under the tap - is spot on!

[@acookie7548]

yeah but with a hook in it hope it lean over-

[@odyseya]

For a moment, I caught the glimpse of possibilities for a TechDif bake-off

[@wolframstahl1263]

That's when the *real* mystery biscuits will be made!

[@charliespinoza1966]

*audible gasp* 😮

[@mirjanbouma]

@@wolframstahl1263 techdif making mystery biscuits? THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN

[@GryphLane]

TechDif on ice (cream)!

[@catfish552]

Worth it just to hear Brannan say "Bake-off".

[@miacoss9809]

This is really the quarantine video we all needed

[@camelopardalis84]

One where four guys who live in different households get together for work in a narrow room where they put their fingers in the same glass of liquid ice cream to then lick that ice cream off said fingers. Yes. (Apparently this was filmed quite some time ago, before the outbreak.) Edit: Typos.

[@ragnkja]

Marie Lastname Early last December, so definitely before the outbreak.

[@camelopardalis84]

@@ragnkja Thanks! I wasn't really thinking they were behaving like douchbags, being bad role models and all.

[@user-yu3in7wn5d]

IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAAAAR

[@linawhatevs8389]

2:50 "Inside the cylinder, is an ogre." Thanks for subtitles, they really help in cases like this.

[@mirjanbouma]

I think it's 'auger'?

[@linawhatevs8389]

@@mirjanbouma Yep, that's what the subtitles (CC) say. I wouldn't've been able to google it otherwise.

[@dragonboyjgh]

I heard Augur and was wondering how they got an oracle in there

[@TrondBrgeKrokli]

@@dragonboyjgh Thanks for the chuckle. Definitely worth it.

[@catfish552]

"I always wanted to do this as a child!" That sums up this entire exercise, doesn't it?

[@ReneSchickbauer]

Matt: "Where does the icecream come from?" Gary: "Cows!" This pretty much sums up Gary pretty much, if you ever have to describe him to someone in as few words as possible.

[@Naeddyr]

"You're a lovely machine" don't worry Gary i laughed

[@meetaverma8372]

Poor Gary

[@benjaminlewis3903]

Tom is like the annoyed teacher who doesn’t get paid enough to have “children” screaming in his ear

[@meetaverma8372]

It's not just in this video, if you think about it

[@astrrra]

This is getting dangerously close to "1 year ago"

[@gluehandsluke8477]

Turned a year old today

[@thomasblethyn9639]

**That ice cream is as hot as venus** When your icecream melts then turns into a superheated vapour *bruh*

[@MrPinguinzz]

not venus... tom's anus 4:01

[@Ramonatho]

The fact that Chris likes to eat the cone alone is oddly fitting.

[@wolframstahl1263]

I need more people like Matt in my life. There's no way I'd ever be unhappy when people around me say things like "There's an inside up here." I'm madly in love with Matt's way of thinking!

[@wolfbd5950]

"It's the top right of Bottom America" is still my favorite quote.

[@ragnkja]

wolfbd5950 And of course the reason he knew where French Guiana is was that it’s the home of Kourou spaceport.

[@birkobird]

Gary: Bedlam generator. Matt: Trying his best to look professional while doing unprofessional things. Tom: Laughing at Gary, feeling bad for Matt. Chris: Barely says a word, generally the embodiment of the audience.

[@lukewest7216]

Bedlam generator is the most accurate description of gary I've ever heard

[@aamackie]

So we're all agreed? Next series he's officially Gary Bedlam.

[@Spamman4587]

@@aamackie Everybody's favorite Gary Bedlam

[@jeffgoldblunt]

Garry brannan: bedlam generator

[@qwertyTRiG]

Does Gary generate bedlam, or does he channel it?

[@dr.castor1392]

Why am I not surprised in the least that Matt has a commercial grade ice-cream machine at home? Or is he gonna instal it in his future ute?

[@MetaBloxer]

This is the same man who bought a HTC Vive a week after demoing one. This is why you're not surprised.

[@jetison333]

@@MetaBloxer oh man if you've done vr you understand why he did that one.

[@MetaBloxer]

@@jetison333 That's probably why I haven't...

[@fuilli]

Or maybe install it onto a hovercraft?

[@MelodicaDude]

The escalating panic in Chris's voice at 9:24 is absolutely gold

[@Marmeladecheeseshoes]

Even then it's still Yorkshire level of panic.

[@CBG232x5]

I want someone to show this to Gary Brannon’s kid one day as “The goofy stuff him and his besties did on ye olde Internet”

[@emdivine]

Huh. This comment just made me realise that one day our (currently) modern writing conventions will look as weird as "ye olde" does today.

[@badredraws]

@@emdivine I wonder if they'd still call it "Ye Olde"? What if they call it something different, like the Oldie/Oldern Times or something. On the other hand, there's a shop called Ye Olde Sweet Shoppe near me, so it would be funny to see what it would be called in the future

[@cooltv2776]

fun fact: Y used to have a completely different sound than it does now. it used to have the "th" sound so something like "ye olde sweet shoppe" translates to "the old sweet shop"

[@neolexiousneolexian6079]

@@cooltv2776 That makes the "you"/"thou"/"your"/"thy"/"yours"/"thine" distinction make a little more sense. But it also makes it make a lot less sense. Did English have plural and singular second-person pronouns that were homophones, except for when possessive?

[@fanq_]

@@neolexiousneolexian6079 if memory serves it's more that there was a letter similar to 'y' with the /th/ sound, so instead of adding that letter to typing machines, they just took 'y' to write it down or something alomg those lines

[@jamesahibbard]

"I need to turn this on. You're a lovely machine." I laughed Garry.

[@stumbling]

"This is how they measure speeds in Star Trek" "Set engines to Whip 3"

[@joelshort2907]

If you're being REALLY Yorkshire, why not try soft serving beef dripping?

[@pallasproserpina4118]

There’s a solid chance that would break the machine. Let’s try it.

[@UltraMaXAtAXX]

Betcha some dude from Alabama is going to try this.

[@Doshee33]

Make a Top gear style beef bovril and brick ice cream

[@thekathal]

@@UltraMaXAtAXX probably doesn’t know what drippings is

[@kwibloupthesomething]

@@thekathal well if you watch Tech Dif..

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

WARNING This Video Is Extra Chaotic Oh YES lads we're in for a good'un.

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

AND THUS WE WERE. I love the eternal bedlam. I'd definitely have tried to Mattineer this but Gary is truly embodying the child within. I would Love to see a TechDiff Regular Special Episode for some proper Yorkshire or just plain weird experiments.

[@DmanYTofficial]

Tom, be careful. Ashens is having an effect on you.

[@kickwriteteach2313]

DMAN’S VIDS and your problem with that is .......?

[@kabobawsome]

Coming soon: "Will it Soft Serve? 60 Year Old Soft Serve"

[@carmensimons5676]

Gary murmuring “just the tip” was what I needed right now

[@theleva7]

My brain automatically added "...and only for a minute". Thanks AvE I suppose.

[@joaovitormatos8147]

i've just watched 4 grown up men make ice cream for 10 minutes Quarantine, day 8

[@ragnkja]

João Vitor Matos Yeah, I’m on day 8 of lockdown as well.

[@gorye8730]

Any updates?

[@thatkindcoder5347]

And i’m lovin it >D

[@ragnkja]

Yegor Georgiyev Just finished my second week back at work. It’s really good to get my routine back.

[@simplyTHATNerdGirl]

I just watched this as well. Day 100-something.

[@radioboy717]

POV: you've just found this channel and now 7 months later, waiting for them to upload again

[@sbs5130]

That is definitely a better use of counter space than a countertop dishwasher.

[@Azeria]

You have been in the same shot before, on a park bench.

[@Azeria]

And on a road trip

[@jacobspence4326]

And on citation needed live

[@Azeria]

@@jacobspence4326 And on the TV show pilots

[@TheDundeeBiscuitLuvU]

And the intros to the experiements

[@randomdogdog]

But most of those are in citation needed order, and matt messed this one up.

[@LelouchLothric]

This is the most chaotic neutral thing I have ever seen

[@mlies37]

“Careful, Icarus” made me think of Craig Ferguson

[@MacPrince]

Anyone notice that Gary’s ice cream cone was just like his Citation Needed answers- started off excellently but went off the rails at the end?

[@MelodicaDude]

An Icecream Vendor Teaches Three Excited Preschoolers How an Icecream Machine Works, 1938 (Colorized)

[@losersandwich3712]

This video really shows off Gary's weird chaisma in a way other videos don't, and its amazing.

[@howdyhamster]

I'm impressed that Matt's Hubris Cone hadn't completely collapsed

[@yuvalco]

Ahhh, the long awaited TechDiff on ice(cream)!

[@60psych]

I could listen to Matt Grey mimic machines all day. His loom from the last Citation Needed was particularly inspired.

[@Encysted]

7:22 I now _completely_ understand why you all are friends.

[@IvoTrausch]

Gary missed his calling, he was clearly born for comedy.

[@patriciovarelaalmiron6772]

*Hears the sound the machine makes* I bet Matt must be very popular with his neighbors...

[@mirjanbouma]

I think they go "well at least this doesn't sound like an impending explosion"

[@neolexiousneolexian6079]

@@mirjanbouma Easy solution: Give them free ice cream.

[@BoterBug]

OH. And when Gary got himself some ice cream, all I imagined was Gary getting some time from the Time Dispenser. (Citation Needed S5E6 LIVE Part 1: Ruth Belville and Time Balls)

[@the5thaxiom807]

to be fair, that's how he imagines most noises

[@qwertyTRiG]

Trying to find that video to rewatch it a while ago lead me to the Futility Closet episode on Ruth Belville, and thus did I discover my favourite podcast.

[@MetaBloxer]

Matt: "Not sponsored" The company watching a group of friends misuse their product: "Good. Please don't get us involved"

[@caseyleenb]

Gary: Chaotic Evil (9:00) Tom: Neutral Good Chris: True Neutral Matt: Lawful Hood (intentional pun)

[@richardmillhousenixon]

Gary is Chaotic Neutral, Tom is Lawful Evil, (see their OG live show from Uni for "This isn't technically illegal" when they made the semaphore tower out of that one building) Chris is indeed true neutral, and Matt is just... Matt

[@beth12svist]

Of course, then there's the episode with Mad Cap'n Tom which would make Tom... ... quite frankly I'm not well-versed in these allignments so I'm not really sure but my point is, there's definitely a good reason why he's friends with the Chaos Incarnate. Also, Chaos Incarnate (aka Gary) is an archivist. Just to refresh your memory and throw a wrench into your assessment of the character of people you know from the internet. :D

[@PhiNickGaming]

Chris just eating the cone is my general mood.

[@meetaverma8372]

Yeah, me too

[@cosmicjenny4508]

Ugh, you four are living out all of my childhood fantasies! You’ll be going to the moon, next!

[@DuckGoesQuack]

If all we needed to watch Gary french kiss an ice-cream machine was to get into self quarantine the I say: worth it

[@efestar]

who is still waiting for new uploads

[@h.opted2264]

Yep

[@grace-ok5dp]

same

[@unworthy.potato]

When Britain’s out of lockdown they might start uploading again

[@nope1959]

Its called corona

[@LazerLord10]

Soft serve coffee! Maybe mix up some instant coffee at a higher strength? Put in some cream and sugar for a more creamy ice-cream coffee?

[@amyshaw893]

"Weve never been in the same shot before, have we" close, You all did a park bench together a while back (im not counting the wide shots in citation needed etc)

[@catfish552]

Also the intros for the experiments, and that time they played Mario Kart.

[@neolexiousneolexian6079]

Surely the live citation neededs?

[@srivmanu]

"Careful Icarus!"

[@rc_woshimao957]

We need more videos 😭

[@RoundHouseDictator]

"what's the ice cream version of hold my beer" "what should we put in the ice cream machine" 🤔

[@EmmaLiza]

Ding dong, another great idea from the people who brought you beeeeeeer milkshakes!

[@eliad6543]

cold my beer

[@kane2742]

Hold my milkshake?

[@onionbot2]

isn’t ‘what should we put in the ice cream machine’ the whole reason matt got the ice cream machine

[@elbowsbuns1896]

Hold my cone

[@AceSkates]

This'll be all of us after 4 weeks isolation.

[@ragnkja]

AceRidesBikes Except that we’ll be on our own.

[@sponge1234ify]

Amen

[@Kai_K]

Couldn't stop lauphin when the auto subtitles thought tom said " its chunky. Little bit of children there."

[@y0bc0]

i really love this video because matt is clearly so excited to show off the machine, even if nobody else is impressed by it. i constantly feel like this and it's nice to know there's another dweeb out there like me.

[@6pixelkid]

My last four braincells trying to revise the night before an exam:

[@Speederzzz]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARG"

[@rdouthwaite]

I work in a shop with one of these. Trust me they're deafening when they're new too.

[@bacul165]

Gary? Or Matt?

[@ragnkja]

Barbara 165 Matt works in radio, Gary in an archive, Chris at a nature reserve (last I heard, at least), and Tom works, well, online?

[@qwertyTRiG]

@@ragnkja I think you missed Barbara's joke.

[@Schmidtelpunkt]

Of all your concepts, this is the one I would buy: Four people stand around a technical device like Monty Python's Gumbys and are surprised and confused by the result. It should not be a problem to stretch that to 42 minutes. The downside of course is that you would have to shoot something else for the whole day to get the right state of mind for an episode.

[@stocktonjoans]

he's still my favorite Gary Brannon

[@cabe_bedlam]

Matthew, Gareth, Christopher and Thomas. also I caught the Bertha reference from Gary.

[@knightshousegames]

Sounds like the Sir Topham Hatt calling all his trains in for a staff meeting.

[@Supertimegamingify]

Ah, the tale of Icarus, who's ice cream melted as he flew too close to the sun.

[@Nolsen]

"There are only scale models of the Enterprise" That did get me

[@davidrojas426]

1 year anniversary of this channel posting

[@unworthy.potato]

Wish they would do more of this stuff

[@nope1959]

Corona

[@radaro.9682]

Is there any plan for.....maybe a Zoom TechDif or....anything? Cause I miss y'all and found y'all incredibly funny.

[@onionbot2]

disconnected: techdif special

[@onionbot2]

aw man

[@radaro.9682]

@@ethanbennett7 Cool, someone already mentioned that a bit back and I'm not really on social media in any context. Too many places to look for what ounts to fractured info without looking at it all. I appreciate the answer!

[@biiianciii888]

I've probably watched this enough to be able to reenact the whole video, citing every word from my memory

[@I91AM]

Tom: Apparently, it's -99 celsius. Gary: But that's as cold as Venus!

[@krissp8712]

From Gary's Twitter: For everyone stressing in the comments: this was filmed in December, a time before th’infection, when toilet rolls were plentiful.

[@tobiasjakobi4487]

"I don't know what most of these buttons do!" One of them says "wash".

[@ragnkja]

Tobias Jakobi That’s the one he knows what does.

[@mynewaccount2361]

'''''''most''''''

[@onionbot2]

wash the ice cream

[@roweproductions9424]

I miss the gents together 😥 Not too much longer now, I guess!

[@casperes0912]

"Warning this video will be extra chaotic". No shit Matt, it's a Tech Diff video. We'd expect nothing less when you lot are together and we love it

[@rees7640]

Comedy: Four grown men with a softserve machine

[@elax4141]

WHY exactly does Matt have a Soft Serve machine? Why? Also, my exact mental image of Breeze from Mistborn is Gary. Also, Tomato Puree!

[@hetspeelkwartiertjeslaatte2624]

Are you saying you’re even the slightest bit surprised?

[@hmoham]

Because he is Matt and this is exactly what you'd expect Matt to own. Now I've realised you can get ice cream machines on Ebay I'm going to go there and contemplate buying one but ultimately not buy one because I don't have the room.

[@TotoDG]

Let’s be real, who *_didn’t_* want to own a soft serve machine as a kid?

[@flower-fauna]

Matt did ketchup actually

[@camelopardalis84]

I went to - Can I say college because otherwise it gets complicated? - with a guy who had a candyfloss (or fairyfloss or cotton candy) machine. At around age 20 and if I remember correctly starting when he still lived with his parents.

[@xmlthegreat]

I don't know if many people caught that but Gary paying the machine compliments to 'turn it on' is probably one of my favourite moments of this video.

[@DandelionCollab]

Chris takes to it like a hovercraft.

[@miacoss9809]

Matt eating that very long ice-cream looks like a very innappropriate thing

[@rach_laze]

matt clearly didn't spend his youth making ice cream mega mountains at the brewers fayre self service machine like some of us

[@mattandtom]

If you haven't seen Will It Soft Serve yet, go watch it here: kzbin.info --Matt

[@ciangibbons6643]

Is this video (and to a lesser extent the Will it soft serve channel) just an elaborate excuse for Matt to expenses claim an Ice Cream machine?

[@avakining]

@Cian Gibbons obviously.

[@bacul165]

Matt, you might want to include that this was filmed quite a while ago in your description - people will get worried about our favourite four not distancing...

[@vzxvzvcxasd7109]

that slowly bending/falling icecream was the most suspense i've got in years!

[@feha92]

Will [insert meat here] soft serve? Will potato soup soft serve? Will blood soft serve for the blood god? Will skulls soft serve for the skull throne? WAAAGH! soft serve?

[@toucaninterieur8011]

Garry under the machine looks like a seagull devouring a fish

[@Rammkard]

Citation needed has gotten odd

[@figmixes]

as someone who used to work at dairy queen watching them struggle to figure out how a soft serve machine works is absolutely hillarious

[@realbland]

Tom is the best at saying hello. "HALLO!"

[@alexisauld7781]

"Where's the ice cream come from?" Surely somewhere just down a bit from Tromsø? :P

[@ragnkja]

Alexis Auld “Just down a bit” is about a quarter of the length of the country away if you’re thinking of the ice that was brought from the Arctic Circle to the equator. (Of course, compared to the 66° of latitude that ice block travelled, 3° is not very much.)

[@richardmillhousenixon]

@@ragnkja they're talking about the Two of These People are Lying video entitled "down a bit from Tromsø

[@ragnkja]

@@richardmillhousenixon And I’m talking about the Citation Needed episode about the Ice Block Expedition.

[@thefamiIyguyshow]

It's sad the park bench ended, the "will it soft serve‽" ended. I still watch matt's channel and Tom's channel, I already watch all the video of will it soft serve. : (

[@janeweber8654]

It is blowing my mind that Gary is shorter than the others, I always assumed he was the tallest

[@casperes0912]

Really? The heights are about as I expected. Well except for Chris whom I expected to be a giant

[@UrbanPanic]

@@casperes0912 Chris Joel, the tiniest of giants.

[@dannypeck96]

everybody's shortest Gary Brannon, Gary Brannon.

[@casperes0912]

Benjamin Shaw It’s the beard though... That beard screams giant, doesn’t it?

[@TomOrsman]

Jane Weber He takes the precaution of a good coat and a short friend

[@presenttomato1060]

I can't wait for The Park Bench to start up again.

[@dougalbadger4918]

Wait is it how do you know!?

[@elbowsbuns1896]

Really? I thought they killed of off more than a year ago

[@awmperry]

Start simple: custard, yoghurt, whipped cream, and raspberry jam. One by one or all together, up to you. EDIT: Oh, you've done custard and cream already. All right: Ribena.

[@ragnkja]

awmperry Smoothie was very nice, apparently.

[@jamesiyer4937]

This is the kind of video that I feel Tom should still have his ponytail.

[@biiianciii888]

Sometimes I feel like Gary and I share a brain... maybe with a little bit of Matt in there aswell

[@ElixirOfRivalry]

I love you guys’ energy, it’s so infectious and we could all use a grin right now.

[@vaughanvalentine3384]

A flashback to my days as an icecreamman. Even after three years I never got the hang of small icecreams; Chris to a good job.

[@arronlampkin722]

Loved the Craig Ferguson reference there as Matt was reaching peak capacity.

[@TheRacoonGhost]

i was a bit sad when i realised TOTPAL only had three episodes this season but this more than makes up for the lacking one (and ive just started watching it)

[@MoempfLP]

Can you tell me, what TOTPAL is? I can`t figure it out.

[@Jono997]

@@MoempfLP Two of these People are Lying

[@TheRacoonGhost]

@@MoempfLP TOTPAL = two of these people are lying (took me a while as well)

[@MoempfLP]

@@TheRacoonGhost Oh, that makes sense. Thanks!

[@MoempfLP]

@@Jono997 Thanks

[@georgepom328]

I look forward to more of these in the future

[@nicktheloser2974]

Dude I could watch these guys mess around for a week straight, it's great

[@downie7746]

Looking back on two drums and a cymbal 11 years later