Time to talk - a parent's perspective on children's mental illness: Liza Long at TEDxSanAntonio 2013

[@orntelove]

I just found this. More people need to watch it. My son is also mentally ill. It's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with and it is very hard to locate help with children like this

[@basedtrucker]

are you a single mother?

[@chandasparklesastrology]

Yes it is. Mine is 29 He’s had a horrendous life. I’m a widow now his caretaker because he’s paralyzed himself, died of overdose and then came back. Then paralyzed his other leg. He has multiple mental illnesses and now is on antipsychotics. I’m literally alone in this. Now, he’s found wax - a highly dangerous substance they vape. Just last night I came home to him passed out after only being gone 4 hours all to deal with his new medications. He’s been to multiple jails and multiple rehabs. I am literally this morning crying my eyes out at “how am I going to get a 6ft 4 man who’s got the brains of a teenager out of my home to a rehab by myself?” It’s 1/19/24 and mental health in this country sucks - I will most likely outlive my son. He’s been seeing psychologists since 2

[@hannahhilyard843]

I have watched this 3 times now and it moves me to tears every time. I was a child like your son. I was denied those opportunities. Stigma is alive and it is real, but so is hope. Thank you for your bravery and honesty.

[@tearydawn]

My son was charged with felony assault and misdemeanor disturbing the peace (resisting) after utilizing our crisis plan to simply transport him to the ER. He did NOT hurt anyone. THIS is how they solve problems in Idaho. Waiting on sentencing tomorrow. I'm still in shock over this. I will no longer call 911 for help, even if we're dying. Sorry, nope. Want nothing to do with the department. This is now on his record and has sent my health into such a flare up, I've yet to recover back to baseline. I'm disabled. I have very little help. Our system is broken and I'm very pissed off.

[@MustyUnderboob]

What happened?

[@tearydawn]

@@MustyUnderboob We had to plead to the lesser charge and he had 6 months unsupervised probation. Just a BS charge to add to his record with no benefits from any services since what they offered we were already doing. When a service did come up that we needed, he had less than a week left on his probation so they wouldn't help him access it. SMH.

[@mandyporras07]

What a amazing speech. Thank you for speaking out. Thank you for being brave.

[@LoJoRN]

This came to me today. I can’t believe this talk escaped my support seeking!!!! 7 years. Nothing has changed!!! This is a brutally honest depiction Thanks Liz I wish I knew you 7 years ago!!! I wish I knew you now... I too am AL mama.... 🤗😔✌️

[@LaFanfanTulipe]

One is not supposed to talk about his child mental illness. Yet when one knows a mother has a child with mental illness, she is often accused of being the cuprit of her child mental illness.

[@cherilee48]

Bless your heart. We do need to collectively change the stigma. I am also a mother with severe mental health issues. It has been debilitating for me. I have gone through the NAMI education class which really opened my eyes and was helpful, yet my heart aches every day watching his illness get worse and he doesn’t realize he has an illness. That as you probably know is called Anosognosia. My heart is aching today as I just had a very disturbing interaction with him. He’s 27. I pray for peace for the mentally ill and their families. This is such a horribly tough time right now. Thank you for speaking up. I am so sorry for the repercussions which resulted from doing so.

[@firecatsue]

I'm so grateful to Liza Long for her courage in sharing her story, and raising an issue that is disturbing and urgent.

[@JoseRodrigues-pg7in]

ta linda

[@Laurasjm77]

Good One. Susan. I agree with you.

[@frankholmes5682]

Wonderful, heartfelt presentation that my wife could also give. We lost a child who suffered from Bi-Polar disorder for more than 12 years and recently took his own life. He wouldn't stay on meds, was in and out of hospitals, and at variouis times was homeless. Years ago he was discharged from a hospital after a week's stay and his first day home refused to take his meds. We tried to reach his counselor for help.and he never called back. There are numerous stories such as this.. As a society, we do not treat the mentally ill. We do what litlle insurance will provide, send them to prison or leave them on the streets or let things go until they hurt someone or themselves. Isn't it about time to do somthing?

[@susanmorgan2382]

I am sorry for your loss

[@nicoler3219]

I am so so sorry for your loss, I lost my beautiful 24 years old daughter to brain tumor in 2017 and have a son with mental illness that he is 25 and I totally understand you 😭😭😭😭😭

[@AOpenHearts]

I bet he was brilliant but people refuse to open their minds to what these people have to say. I'm spiritually in tune and that makes me ill but to me YOU all are the sick ones.

[@AOpenHearts]

I bet compassion and genuine concern didnt cross your mind you just toss him around to doctors and psyche wards.

[@johnnydelgado8614]

Amen to that...

[@misskittysage549]

I am moved to tears. My son also has bi-polar and is on the austism spectrum disorder scale. He was taken from me at 12 for not attending school. It has been a hearbreak. I suffer from mental illness and have been empathetic to him to a fault sometimes but this woman is so right. We are afraid of what we don't understand. The brain is much more mysterious than the body and people fear thinks they don't understand and I think this is why the funding is not there as much and the support as a society is not there either. People can be fickle.

[@vivianedossantoscaipira7075]

I also do have ASD and it's really hard for me to tell to semeone,it's seems like exposing your true self again

[@tearydawn]

The typical school environment is certainly not for all our kids. They seem to not understand that. It's frustrating.

[@mummylife5941]

this lady is such a strong person

[@trghfssfw]

This is an important TALK, as a father of a 30 year old son who has mental health, how can it be that 1 in 5 are experiencing MH and related issues, seems like the late 80's onward there has been a marginal reported increase in ADHD, anxiety and mental health related issues....something is not right here!

[@guitajose]

Amazing talk, Liz. I read your article and understood, and now your TED talk, wow! I'm the mother of twin, 28yr old sons, with schizophrenia. I KNOW what you are saying, and I agree with every word. Let's end the stigma!

[@rickyshappenings]

My eldest daughter has paranoid schizophrenia. I'm raising her 2 children that I call mine now. My 7 year old has very early onset childhood schizophrenia and feeding Disorder. The stigma is alive and well. I feel so alone most of the time and next week my little guy is getting a g-tube in because he just doesn't eat or drink enough to sustain him.

[@EricFletcher]

Thank you, Liza. Provocative, and convicting.

[@Triple_Y_turn]

And then there are my parents that deny that mental illnesses exist. And say that my boyfriend and a therapist just convinced me that I was sick

[@Leslie961]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I cannot express my overwhelming gratitude for your vulnerability in sharing yours and Michael’s story. I wish I could sit and talk with you. Just know that you are doing good work. Your heart and your story are not unnoticed. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance stop you from continuing to speak up. Blessings.

[@kaygirll09]

Thank you for helping add to the conversation about mental illness.

[@Kerryhm]

powerful. I am going to share this far and wide.

[@Laurasjm77]

Liza I wish I could give you a hug. My heart breaks for you and your son.

[@lenorbradley8549]

True... sadly it feel like no one can help. When you try to get help. No place to go get help. Because all they want to do is take your kids...

[@pamelabusby7702]

Thank you so much for opening up about your life and your family. What you shared with us is amazing and you are brave. I want to be that brave. I am a Grandmother of a child with serious mental health problems. He is now 16 years old. I live with my daughter and her husband and two other grandchildren. My daughter has the state medical card and that only does so much. But even with what it does do for our family it does not do nearly enough for mental health issues. My daughter has called every program around to get help for my grandson and everyone of them has told my daughter that they can not help us. Some reasons are that he has too many issues and they can't handle that. Or it cost too much money for us to afford it. Or we're not in the right District to get that kind of help. So many more reasons. It all boils down to my grandson not getting the help he needs. We can not find any help for him except for the doctors that keep giving him strong medications. They all say the same thing we can't help you we don't know what to do for you. There are days that we are so stressed that we don't know how to talk to each other anymore there's arguing disorder crying panic attacks stress we're so tired emotionally and physically so I understand and I really want to be a part of something that would help the mental health I just don't know where to go and look so if you could help me to get involved I will tell my story to anybody who will listen. God bless you and everyone who is living with this. We have had to have the police at our home but the police and the doctors at the hospital say oh he'll be all right and don't take them in we call a sass worker to come out to evaluate him and they always find a reason for him not to go oh he's calm now he'll be fine or he has to hurt himself or hurt somebody else before they'll do anything about it does that mean that there has to be something seriously bad it happened to one of us or him before somebody does something. I'm just the grandmother I feel so badly for my daughter who has two other children to raise.

[@MissLilly-vn2wt]

The true struggle parents, family, friends is knowing that their child, friend or family doesn't feel sad, they feel extreme sorrow, they feel loved or hated no in between and most of the time they feel rejected as I feel they know they're different and most of the people like them need love and I understand that but not most people do, in fact most people do not know how to even have sympathy towards the immediate family or the child going through the storm, yes that's how it feels, a storm and you do not know when the light will shine or if it will end sadly like it does for a lot of families, with suicide... yes that's a reality, you want to love them except they don't want as they are not able to change their perception of you as you are probably the "bad guy" there trying to enforce healthy boundaries or concequences and rewards, providing medical resources and advising on taking they're medication, and on that note there are so many trial and errors, that just complicates things even worst, they only feel 1 way your "the bad guy"... takes a lot for them to live a joyful life and that hurts so much because they don't 't deserve that at all, but they can't get past the 1 way they feel... the reality is sad no one seems to care most of the time, I am a parent of a mentally ill child, I understand... everyone you shared your story with probably turned their back as it was "too much" for them, they don't have time, they have their own lifes and parents like myself our mission is to help their children like my daughter find joy... mental illness stigma will never end unless you go through it yourself, you will never understand unless you live it, it's not a God thing, it's not a race thing, it's a valuable life thing. I hope that there could only be more research and true real life resources for our kids, our future... I hope my testimony shares insight to the realities of parenting and overall experience with mental illness with everyone involved. It's a big thing and it's a real thing.

[@carolynlanham3170]

I'll never forget the day a school counselor told my daughter's friend not to hang out with my daughter because Our family was dysfunctional. We were working Overtime to TRY to be Functional! I worked in the same school district and had to absorb a Lot of social challenges. I truly wanted to find a community, place where my daughter could have blossomed. As usual, drugs were found and the path goes downhill, Years and years.

[@AbsurdlyEvil113]

I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 6 the doctors still make me take medication for it. but it hasnt worked

[@SuperHanne84]

My father is mentally ill. Not until I watched this video did I realise I am just as guilty of stigmatising mental illness as anyone else. If I, who experience it so close to home, can be so narrow-minded then I am not surprised everyone else is too!

[@ivansheth6312]

Give yourself some grace; being traumatized by your experiences with him have until now very likely contributed to your feeling narrow-minded. That’s real too.

[@flowerlove2985]

Wonderful, wonderful presentation. You made me aware today that I have responsibility in spreading the idea. Thank you Lisa.

[@lianna7896]

This made me cry so hard, everything resonated so perfectly

[@SXHQQSSS]

We are all on the brink somehow. BRAVO!!!....for speaking out!!!

[@darinsullaphen4683]

a moving speech that deserves momentum urgently! Thank you for your brave stance

[@tamarajoslin631]

I was looking for a moment of connection with what I'm going through with my little daughter. She is 10. I had to ask my 13 year old to call 911 because I didn't think I could get us safe this time. We got safe. And when they are all in bed and finally the event is over and the meds finally are working for the night, I am tired and wish things were different, that there was someone to talk to, that there were funny memes to laugh at about our lives. But there aren't any funny memes about this kind of thing. It would horrify most people. People who don't understand the things our kids do until they are themselves again. But I want to laugh about them because I can't cry. My baby just cried that the doctor told her the medicine would help her and why isn't it helping? Telling your baby that the doctor said she could take another pill when it didn't work is so not in the wheelhouse of parenting tools I was expecting to use. I identify so strongly with school shooting parents. It scares me. I know I am doing all I can. Using every professional resource I can. Constantly looking for more. But knowing it isn't enough. Hearing every professional acknowledge it isn't enough but that it is all they have. We need so much more for our kids with mental illness. For the parents struggling to support them. For the families and friends trying to understand them. For the neighbors who wonder about them.

[@Laurasjm77]

Thank you Liza. I wish I could give you a hug.

[@carolynlanham3170]

Wow. Thank you for talking to us.

[@nicholasaltieri8333]

God bless you and your beautiful son you have touched a lot of lives today

[@teresamarie8347]

As a teacher, I see and believe the one in five ratio. Psychologists do not diagnose children and are hesitant to label them. As a result, kids don’t get the help they need. I feel some are misdiagnosed with ADHD, given meds and forgotten. There is no early intervention or treatment and it’s a travesty.

[@Wisdomseeker5]

So wonderful. Thanks. Hugs from Norway desde Noruega🇳🇴

[@tearydawn]

I'm certainly on the brink. No respite in years. Why charge a child with a crime for a mental health issue when no harm has been done. It's simply causing more harm and adding more pressure, frustration, anger and harm to them.

[@NC_SUGAR]

I'll never understand. We recognize and treat diseased kidneys, hearts, livers,eyes, ears, lungs, brain trauma, but why not the mind? Why not the study of the brain? The part that affects our mental health? It's as important if not more so than any of the other diseases. Why do we allow this?

[@jessicaholland691]

That was incredible, and so important. Wow. Sharing onto my Facebook page now.

[@lenorbradley8549]

As a mother I felt this....

[@isimemenezebor4212]

Thank u so much for this amazing speech. I have gained alot

[@susaninman2576]

Thank you, thank you, Liza Long for your courage in pushing the plight of young people coping with serious mental illnesses and their families into national consciousness. There are many issues which we parents need to understand and help the public understand if we want to improve the utterly inadequate state of care for people with mental illnesses. I discuss some of these in my articles for Huffington Post: www.huffingtonpost.ca/susan-inman

[@nicoler3219]

That is so true, we can not talk to anyone 😭😭😭😭

[@amywelsh8225]

Thank you 😪🙏🏼

[@margarethepworth3199]

You know what I think it is interesting is that I watched another Ted Talk by Eric Walton. He said he had a mental illness, he was sent to prison at 11 years old, and he spoke about the blog post that his mother wrote, "I'm Adam Lanza's mother after the school shooting, and the picture that she show looks very similar to the one that he show. Is it just a coincidence or is that boy that spoke in the other Ted Talk her son?

[@LizaLongauthor]

Eric is my son. I'm very proud of him for his advocacy work. He's an amazing young man, and I am lucky to be his mom.

[@lizalawson1152]

I am one of those parents that sat back and watched a child more than two in the struggle and I want to know what to do about it I want to turn this around just the other day somebody in Boston just got killed by their child that was diagnosed with me to end this I want to learn how to be an advocate cuz I'm tired of parents dying and getting killed by their children that they are trying to help with mental illness it's now getting wrap it and crazy they're not bad people they just struggling in life and I'm tired of them being dropped in put in with people that have drug abuse issues because that is not their issues it is not as same as being an addict they do not choose this situations somebody needs to speak up they're not criminals

[@Laurie672]

We need to have the stories spoken with our names. However.. we need to share our sorrow and our stories.. It is my problem and my families problem. One is five children in the USA has a serious and debilitating mental disorder. We ignore the families with mental illness. We look at everything else.. but we do not discuss this.

[@billwong6077]

I saw the TEDx talk by Sue Klebold before I saw this one. It's crazy that this has only about 1% of views comparing to that Sue Klebold. Of course, part of it probably is because of Sue Klebold's son will always be associated with Columbine. But in the wake of the most recent tragedy like this in the US, I think talks like this should be shared broadly and greatly. One instances like this is already too many. Yes, the fact that people like these shooters' family members come out to speak probably will not heal too much relative to the wounds that these shooters caused. However, the fact that these family members were willing to come out to speak about their experiences... we as society should accept the information with open arms. I can't imagine what these family members are going through. However, I am sure each time they go out on a stage like this, they need a lot of courage to speak to educate us.

[@ookipuki]

Incredible .....💔

[@contrafax]

Normally I love TEdx but since my parents were the cause of my mental illness, I'll pass.

[@josefa461]

Thank you

[@sydneygastaldo8772]

this was beautiful.

[@melisacaceresvaldez9051]

As soon as she started speaking, I suspected she was Eric Walton's mother. Then the picture appeared, and voilà! What puzzles me is how dissimilar are the ways in which both refer to how they have endured that critical period in their lives.

[@joannestevenson6894]

thank you for sharing

[@lisahall3242]

I thought I was alone

[@ericaj1552]

Mass murderers and dangerous children/individuals don't really have mental illness, they have psychopathy which is more of a personality disorder. Lumping psychopath in with depression linked suicide is not okay. It's adding to the stigma that people with mental illness are dangerous and a threat to society, which is usually not true at all. Psychopathy should be the subject of this conversation, NOT mental illness

[@pandorabrown6581]

While I do understand what you're saying, and it is true that some murderers and criminals are psychopaths, I must also say that in fact, untreated schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder, DOES DEFINITELY cause murders and crimes. Now, I don't know much of the diagnoses' of individuals who have commuted mass shootings, so I won't speak on those. But I can certainly say that, in terms of serial killers, a very large number of them are NOT simply psychopathic, and in fact most of them have one or multiple forms of dillusions and/or hallucinations, visual or auditory. I've also read and heard that 40-65% (I've heard a couple different numbers but they all fell into that range) of people in prisons have mental illness, and I'm glad that she mentioned that our prison systems are the largest mental health "care" centers in the US, because that to me is sickening. I do however, wish that she had mentioned that statistically, people of mental illness are more likely to be VICTIMS of a crime than commit one. In any case, I hope that through dialogue we can all end the stigma.

[@FatimaSilva-wn5xs]

+Pandora Brown vitok

[@wesNYC]

do 1.5 speed. so it doesn't sound so dramatic

[@ayelethassan8333]

can I have your blog's address?

[@LizaLongauthor]

***** I blog here: www.anarchistsoccermom.blogspot.com, and also at Huffington Post and Psychology Today.

[@ayelethassan8333]

Thanks

[@WileyCylas]

My heart goes out to Ms. Long & her family! ❤️ all I have to say is: she is lucky her & her son were born white....... else he'd be a jailbird for the rest of his life. A white family is witnessing the everyday scrutiny of most poor, inner city families! That being said, this shouldn't happen to anyone, anywhere

[@saywordboi]

this exam tho.....

[@Marie-ts8rp]

The problem is the psychiatric drugs do not stop these tradegies & suffering. If these drugs cured we would not be having these convos & would not be having mental health disability rolls growing. The "treatment" is flawed & 12 Step religion is not a cure for adiction either.

[@acajudi100]

Some are just evil!

[@contrafax]

Truth, my father was mentally Ill. He committed crimes against his family. My Brother and I are also mentally ill. Neither of us committed crimes against our children. Father was Bat Shit Evil.

[@jdogsful]

I agree entirely with her message. But her delivery was a bit over dramatic. If real tears dont come, dont try to force them.

[@ad1990]

What do you mean "if real tears don't come"?. I may be the one with mental illness, and not the mother that has to help me out, as she does, but I know real tears from fake ones. I think you need to have your eyes checked and then watch the video again.

[@jdogsful]

Andrew D Seems your comment got cut off before your insult? But, I mean, she's not a professional actor capable of crying on demand. Tears would have been potent, if they came genuinely. But she tried to be more dramatic, for effect, but it had the opposite effect on me. That hasnt distracted me from hearing her message. And maybe i was also one of the kids with mental health issues? Maybe i know real tears when i see them too? These werent it.

[@vi8131]

Those were real tears, you can be sure about it. Yes, he pushed the message with full throttle.

[@jdogsful]

Vass István They may have been real tears the first few times she performed this speech. But not this night.

[@mahmoudibnemir8704]

Another single mother tries to raise her child on unicorn farts and granola and fails iserably. Wow, how could that happen?

[@JoseGutierrez-hn8ep]

If Jesus is not in the home the enemy can take over

[@suzie5813]

"I take full credit" Uhm. Do you, though? Hah.

[@JoseGutierrez-hn8ep]

The solution is Jesus

[@hollywoodmelaninbri9280]

Amen 🙏🏾

[@modifiedbear6178]

The cure is simple. Find Jesus Christ and invite Him into your family.

[@modifiedbear6178]

+Ballet Lover I guess I was making a more generalized blanket statement of sorts. Of course people need to seek medical attention for specific ailments. The point I wanted to get across is along the lines of this: the only way to avoid these things from occurring is to follow the teachings that God has given us. The Bible is a manual for this life. It tells us specifically how we need to live in order to thrive here. For example, it tells us to bury our dead (to avoid spreading sickness), it tells us to eat the seed of the fruit (fights cancer), it tells us not to fornicate with the same sex or animals (to avoid diseases and to avoid mental health issues) etc. Everything we need to know is written in that book. If we followed the teachings within it, the world would be very different.

[@reddragonready]

Thank you for that simple demonstration of mental illness! But there was no need to expand it by a second, much longer demonstration. The point was amply made with those first two lines.

[@hollywoodmelaninbri9280]

Amen 🙏🏾❤️