Strong Enough to Be Wrong | Joshua Harris | TEDxHarrisburg

[@dogfishrulez]

Hearing Joshua acknowledge the hurt his book caused is all I could ever ask for. I don't care what side of religion he ended up on. Thank you for your authenticity Joshua Harris!

[@kjb1547]

Who’s here in July 2019 after hearing about Josh Harris renouncing Christianity?

[@FAITHandLOGIC]

I renounced mine after 15 years. Megachurches like these were the catalyst.

[@jeffandrew10]

Rick Wells I have been hurt by the church. However, that is because humans are imperfect. God is perfect. Therefore, I follow God, not people. I think it is a huge mistake to leave one's faith in Jesus, just because of human theology and interpretation.

[@jeffandrew10]

FAITHandLOGIC Please do not let Mega Churches be the catalyst to renouncing your faith in Jesus. These are just people's interpretations. Weren't the Pharisees in Jesus' time wrong too? Faith is a journey. We are to place our trust in Jesus, not on people. People are imperfect, myself included. God is perfect. Let prayer and the Holy Spirit guide you into His Love and His Truth. Jesus came to free and liberate the oppressed. He is with the broken-hearted.

[@sagrammyfour]

@Rick Wells You can't renounce something you never had.

[@sagrammyfour]

@@jeffandrew10 God bless you, Jeff.

[@FootlessJo]

I really appreciate his words. His book was used as a bible in my youth groups and was at the center of the purity culture movement where I was.... Purity culture itself left scars on my mental health and relationships that still aren't healed. I appreciate someone being strong enough to admit that they might have been wrong.

[@M1and5M]

Hey I just want you to know that I'll pray for you today, that your wounds will be healed. Stay strong!

[@bethanyb891]

Same here. I’m sorry you went through that too...

[@LSSYLondon]

SO true. I don't know anyone including myself that has not been DEEPLY DAMAGED by his teachings which our church REQUIRED us to read every day and which was in our school every Thursday Chapel Day. This man gave Christian women medical conditions like Vaginismus and Vulvadinya bc of his teachings. LITERALLY.

[@TheologyVGM]

Yep. Same. I have healed from it by now, but it was a rough time for me. Best wishes to you. Now, that said, I LOVE how he can come out and say this. That gives him so much clout!

[@mikeharris468]

I, too, read his book during the late 90s as a Christian teenager and thought it was very good. It helped me to exercise self control and set proper boundaries in my life at that young age. Would you please explain how such a book left scars mentally and in your relationships? I'm just curious.

[@hagendf]

His anti-dating message was a good excuse for an awkward teenage kid like me to avoid talking to girls. I missed out on the chance to learn as a young dude how to meet them and get dates. At some point God doesn't bring you a wife, and you realize you really do have to figure it out for yourself.

[@jamesparson]

That is sad

[@bethkay6852]

Lol

[@annamaya854]

Dan did you get married?

[@hagendf]

@@annamaya854 I did not.

[@annamaya854]

@@hagendf that’s surprising. Your profile looks like you are good guy. Please know I’m not coming into you, I’m very happily married. I’m thinking about my single girl friends who are waiting for a quality guy to make a move.

[@rebeccajones726]

"Let God be true and every man a liar." It's not about Christians being "right." It's about God being right and us aligning to that. The basis for being right and the basis for being wrong is all defined by God. Not ourselves.

[@nextlevelmartialarts]

Rebecca Jones amen!

[@ryannoble8536]

The Bible was written by men long after the time the books happened. So basically you’re saying that the Bible is wrong, since every man is a liar.

[@nezabarom1]

Very well said!

[@bonnielatshaw6467]

@@ryannoble8536 Nope. Not at all. The men who God used to put His words down were instruments, not independent spokesmen who wanted to put down their own words. They all loved and served God. Your taking a few words from the Bible to prove what it does NOT say is dishonest, at best.

[@MasterKoala777]

@@bonnielatshaw6467 Where's your proof that God used those writers of the Bible as instruments? Please don't say that the proof is in the Bible, because that's circular reasoning.

[@allanbrown9894]

Why reading and subscribing to the ideas in a book on relationships by a 20 year old is maybe not a good idea.

[@MsJohnnythunder]

Exactly... I read books by old people who have actually counseled couples and lived in one themselves.

[@MsJohnnythunder]

Like Gary Chapman

[@judithmurphy4133]

I agree to a degree but also think "don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, instead set an example for the believers" (I can't remember the reference but that's in the Bible!)

[@bethanyshields7752]

I was a teenager and in the Evangelical South, when his book came out. I am more upset with the 40+ year olds who required we read and implement the relationship advice of a 20yrs old. He may have been wrong for writing it, but these "church leaders" were even more wrong for making the book so popular, and for twisting it into a weapon to control our generation. He was a product of an already corrupt subculture in Amarica.

[@cherwynambuter7873]

@@bethanyshields7752 I feel that all this pushing of the book "Love & Respect" falls into this same category.

[@Trafalgher]

I have never heard a religious leader apologize for wrong doing

[@jerryshunk7152]

Google Jim Baker & Jimmy Swaggart!

[@Scorpia161]

if the comments here are any tip off, it's because most religious people would rather cling to a bad idea than move past it.

[@Tamarahope77]

If they did, they would lose their identity, their esteem in the community, and their entire social support network. They would lose too much. Rev Carlton Pearson did, and lost a lot in the process.

[@tcorbett72]

Then you've been listening to the wrong ones.

[@bracerx1]

@@tcorbett72 that's what I was going to say.

[@joyclements9880]

This book caused so many issues in the church communities I was exposed to growing up. I'm still unraveling the damage it caused me but I'm glad he made this statement.

[@pearlpearly8998]

Followers of Christ should base everything on Gods word,even 'Christian books' should not be taken as absolutes and a standard. Feed your spirit with word of God it will guard your soul form the enemies deception.

[@franciscabonilla6709]

Amén

[@aaronreysegundino9632]

Made my day! Christian values should be based on the bible alone. The bible alone if correctly interpreted is the most useful, life changing and mind transforming book ever. It is the Word of God not of man.

[@sarahhpunkt8817]

Why not start thinking for yourself ?

[@jenniferbrewster5577]

@@aaronreysegundino9632 you are so right

[@meryatathagres1998]

Which language and which translation of the bible do you consider gods word?

[@linak7155]

I remember hearing about this guy and the book he wrote 📙 in the 90's. I didnt purchase but listened to the interviews including one in, Focus On The Family. I did take a prolonged brake from dating and focused on getting an education It was a good decision for me. .

[@zurzakne-etra7069]

I think many kids are already doing that these days because of the emphasis our culture has on education...

[@lucaswilhelmmeyer6943]

Glad for you mam.

[@AarmOZ84]

The worst part wasn't the book itself, but the fact that our youth pastor's often were using it against us. I had trouble developing relationships because of that.... my longest lasting 6 months. I am 35 and never been married.

[@martinmutuna6641]

Sorry

[@LSSYLondon]

It messed with a lot of kids. Either forcing them to marry the first person they "courted" or making people so nervous about being FULLY in a relationship that they just gave up.

[@markralston727]

So your saying at 35 it’s a books fault for you being single. REALLY you actually can sell yourself that idea. WOW!

[@adrianjoe5207]

You are still young and can learn from your mistakes

[@wolfwind1]

My heart goes out to you. Wish we could speak. All the best to you. Your new life has already begun.

[@altarproperties8989]

Joshua, your talk is very interesting. I was a youth minister who read your book. Although I refused to teach that young people needed to stop dating, I did teach that they needed to date differently than what our culture encourages. Not everything in your book was wrong. Not everything was right. It seems that you have more going on in your heart than just the book. Hope you know that God and a lot of Christians care for you.

[@MaximusWolfe]

Deformed (“reformed”) Christianity is wrong. Seek Eastern Orthodoxy and leave the distorted, hereticized version of Christs apostolic vessel (impregnable Church) behind.

[@EvaAnika]

"There are people in your life who are invested in the old you." Amazing.

[@jalRVA]

And a lot of them are making comments on this video, apparently. :)

[@lucaswilhelmmeyer6943]

Dating is for fools

[@PinkEyeTheGlitch]

RESPECT. I was forced to read that book when I was very young, and I feel like it's teachings have really held me back. I never thought that I would see this day.

[@lapaul2791]

What did it hold you back from?

[@LSSYLondon]

@@lapaul2791 For me it forced me into a marriage at 18. Gave me vaginismus and vulvadinya. It's not a joke. It's truly damaging.

[@57andstillkicking]

Lissy London Was that from stress?

[@liabw05]

Lissy London same! I'm finally healing after counseling and healing relationships!

[@lapaul2791]

@@LSSYLondon I understand what you're saying, but nobody. should feel forced. I didn't get that from courting. I don't think not dating means limiting God's options for you as a spouse. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience. May you continue to heal from your experience.

[@Livewell-xgi]

Well done to him for being humble enough to admit having been wrong. I think it will help many people heal.

[@silhouette9108]

So many people dealing with their cognitive dissonance in the comments.

[@solcitlalliraygozaramirez7923]

How come? ( I really want to know why you say so)

[@NewMexicoRaza]

He left Calvanism not Christianity.

[@NewMexicoRaza]

@KTTGHMTJWYCBLAC your character tells me exactly what I would expect, assuming that you are an apologist for Calvinism. Will it make you feel better if I edited my comment or left it mispelled for your pleasure?

[@jgilbert8432]

@KTTGHMTJWYCBLAC Read that quote about Calvinism. I dont follow Calvin, I follow Jesus.

[@upwardspiral317]

@KTTGHMTJWYCBLAC 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@charliechuck-q8y]

Growing up is realizing that Josh was just as trapped as we were. 😢

[@shannonl9633]

For sure

[@kenroc546]

He is preaching the spirit of this age. Humans "evolving" into a better person without Christ, he bought that oldest lie, "shall not die, your eyes will open and you will be like God". When Jesus is God and He transforms us into the Image of Christ. We can't be good or better without Jesus.

[@Noapologiesprolife]

Whats are you talking about? Hes clearly saying that becoming better involves letting things go. He specifically mentions death as being necessary.

[@kenroc546]

@@Noapologiesprolife you and Josh do the same thing, you and him mention themes that actually have to do with change, like death and letting go, but no mention of Christ or sin, which is what we die to(sin) and what we let go off(our sinful life) for the sake of Jesus. Like Christ said, "if you keep your life you lose it, if you lose it your life for My sake you will find it". That message is no where in the video. This is the only way to real change and actual Truth.

[@THEHalfBrainedWonder]

Yes he did not mention Christ, but his words don't go against Christ's teachings. It's a TED talk so they probably have restrictions on how "religious" your verbage can be. But admitting when you're wrong (confessing sins) and allowing yourself to be transformed (letting God's truth change you) are literally what the Bible says to do. Also we can be "better" outwardly as people with or without Jesus, we just will never be good enough to earn salvation, we'll never know God's peace without Jesus and we'll not live out the purpose God has for us. That's not the same as bettering yourself as a person, we all have the ability to grow as people wether you're a Christian or not.

[@Noapologiesprolife]

@@THEHalfBrainedWonder I completely agree with you. I just did not know how to put that into words.

[@THEHalfBrainedWonder]

@@Noapologiesprolife thanks! I will admit I commented before I knew he renounced his faith this week but I think this TED talk was before all that and I still think the themes of this talk do fall in line with Christianity. Aaaaaaaaaanyway lol

[@briancarmichael8098]

I appreciate anyone who is willing to admit that he or she has gotten something wrong. I also must point out that the use of his book “kissing dating goodbye” as the guide for finding a mate is and was wrong. The Bible is the guide. In His Word, God provides His Will, or desire for His children, and through prayer, godly counsel, the guiding of the Spirt of God, and insight from His Word, believers gain wisdom for God’s plan to fulfill His Will. Josh is not perfect, neither are parents, professors, doctors, etc and no book written today is without mistakes. When I first heard about Josh’s book and heard him on the radio, I was impressed with the convictions he had that guided his life. Yet I knew that everything he said was not Bible but personal convictions. For example, I can emphatically say that a husband should love his wife like Christ loves the church, which is biblical truth. Yet, how my wife feels loved is not the same for every wife. Therefore, I don’t tell every husband to get his wife flowers because his wife may not like flowers. So, how to apply God’s command may be different but that doesn’t make the command wrong. Christians should stand on God’s eternal Word not on their preferences. Books can help give insight but those authors are not infallible.

[@tere0942]

Indeed!

[@sheilashoop3308]

You're correct, but you have to wonder what made him stop believing in the power of the cross?? Could it be he was using religion to capitalize?

[@TheMistysFavs]

@@sheilashoop3308 - That possibility has been brought up, but no one filled with the Holy Spirit would have even made a talk such as this so it's clear he wasn't even saved when he made this TED Talk. Had I been a member of his church and saw this 2 years ago, I'd have asked him about it. He's clearly showing here that 2 years ago, he was already getting "geared up" to do what he just did. But....by denying Christ, he just lost *everything*

[@ThatClassic70sGirl]

@@sheilashoop3308 Josh Harris has a boyfriend? What is your evidence?

[@philipseballos8892]

I agree.Our relationshp with each other is unique and so is our being.We can't always relate to someone else's story or experience and even n how we should address our own concerns.

[@AmaindeJH]

For the worse in my case. The much worse. I mean my family went insane. I’m still not really okay but working toward it. His was was not the only resource they used to justify what happened to me. Not by a long shot, but was the first one I was given to read. But you know, this is so impressive that he is doing this. Not many people would say all of this, and it is very healing to hear it. To Josh, thank you.

[@liabw05]

AmaindeJD agreed! 🙋🏾‍♀️

[@a.w.hughes6648]

What you went through was not the will of God lovely woman. You are deeply treasured by a true and almighty being, and the abuse, excuses, and wrongs you have had to bear in your life can be thrust upon Jesus if you will give them to Him. I am praying that God would reveal that to you Amainde. With Love ✌️

[@alstroemeria5623]

@Andrew Hughes Please provide some evidence as to how you know that this woman is highly treasured by God. Kind of hard to believe given her experience, don’t you think?

[@Tamarahope77]

I think your story is probably what gives Joshua the satisfaction of knowing he's made the right call. This is not about doctrine or opinion, this is about respecting people's lives and caring about their wellbeing. It's baffling that evangelicals preach Jesus but don't do what Jesus did - protect vulnerable people from abuse.

[@bethkay6852]

I was also harmed in so many ways by a Christian upbringing

[@neighborhoodgoblinman]

I was homeschooled by foster parents and had to live this out for 3 years, and write a book report on it when I was a part of a Christian cult-ish family. It was so intense unlearning all this shame.

[@jessimoss5625]

my dad required my sister and i to read it and write a book report, too, before we could start dating. my sister did it and got into bad relationships, i refused and still got into bad relationships. neither of us were taught how to be in a healthy relationship.

[@windozxpert]

It's sad that so many parents failed to teach their children that Christ is love and forgiveness, not rigid rules and shame.

[@mathildap.7705]

Joshua you believed and became what you were thought. People are eager to blame others for their choices.

[@grumpyboomer]

His book is full of formulas that American evangelicals love-steps, principles, keys, secrets-things to do to achieve the goal. His talk here was just another formula. He’s just switched teams.

[@sheilashoop3308]

Interesting, isn't it? "For who has known the mind of God?" The only mind he cares about is his own, and he can't even make it up 😂

[@ruhap9311]

It's just a method of public communication. Remember they are talking to an empty chamber.

[@pendragon2012]

I'm proud of you for admitting it. Having grown up in it that subculture is very hard on young men. We're all supposed to grow up to be world changers rather than being all right with being a good person who has a good impact on those around them and anything less than the world changer scenario is somehow not measuring up. I was like you too. 21 and knew everything. Better late than never to admit we had a lot of growing up to do.

[@bchlon1]

So, what you're saying is that I committing sin is better than seeking the Lord's will for a mate? Getting to know someone spiritually and emotionally before having intimacy is wrong? I am confused. Going into sin is never fruitful. God gives grace but the price paid is too high.

[@deus_vult8111]

@@bchlon1 Apparently you didn’t learn anything either. Asking God for a mate and not doing the work to get one is like asking God to give you an A+ in your exam without doing the heavy studying.

[@amyc.nicholson7554]

This guy...has integrity. If only, all evangelicals could embrace their fear and live their lives with the freedom and love that God wants for us.

[@AdDeRidder]

.... or even without the God part if your pursuit of honesty leads you to that. > freedom God wants To me, the Bible is a cultural Roschach test. There are so many stories that you can find one for anything you need him to be. Thus all the denominations. And the different phases of Christianity. In the 1700s "sinners in the hands of an angry god", in the 1800s god accepted slavery. In the 1950s god hated alcohol and dance and movies. In recent years "loving god, our father" just wants you to be happy, man. God's personality mirrors the culture. Maybe god is all of these things. Maybe God is visualized in a way to meet the need we have for him.

[@isaacfox4222]

I don’t the “all evangelicals” struggle with what this guy is talking about.. pretty rash generalization.

[@davidbradley834]

Its about money

[@ElenaBaumann]

In the day of judgement he will know that he was very wrong.

[@christie140]

Now he's just profiting from a different demographic. It's still all about him. It's an honest confession but that's not the same thing as integrity.

[@emmagrace5787]

Personally, I have grown and come out for the better from your book. Your humble contrite spirit is beautiful. Continue to walk with your God. I am praying for you as you continue on this journey. I have written for therebelution many times have been impacted really by your entire family. Continue to seek God!

[@faithoverfear6263]

Christ will be remembered. Harris will be forgotten.

[@freshairkaboom8171]

Christ will be remembered sure, just as Thor will be remembered, just as Zeus will be remembered, just as every other deity invented through history. Harris is a man, and maybe he will be remembered, and maybe not. That is not for you to decide.

[@susansalinas8867]

@@freshairkaboom8171 When Christ comes, you will know and you will bow down. That may be to late for you Fresh. Seek God.

[@bsongie]

Freshairkaboom Gaming when you die, you will know whether Jesus is real or not but I strongly suggest you find out before that happens

[@freshairkaboom8171]

@@susansalinas8867 Well, I'm waiting. Not holding my breath, seeing as his corpse has been rotting in the ground for the last two thousand years. But keep believing in magic if you want, meanwhile, I'm going to live in the real world. But hey, if you're right, I'd like to be a Hufflepuff.

[@freshairkaboom8171]

@@bsongie Got any pointers? Even a clue? Cause if a billion religious people can't figure out a single piece of solid evidence for the most important thing in their lives, I don't think you got much of a chance in convincing people that use half a braincell.

[@zsuzsuspetals]

I have a lot of respect for this man for admitting he was wrong. This comes too late for a lot of people but still....he can't go back in time and change things. So an apology is the next best thing. I was in my mid 20s and single when this book came out. I was in a horrible place in my life in the evangelical church. Most girls were married by 18 and 19 in that church. And here I was an old spinster at 26. Every girl my age who was single was divorced which was actually better than being 26 and never having been married. At least it was to me. Our singles group leader touted this book telling us ladies to not date. Keep waiting for the man God has planned for you. I was already damaged by the time this book came out.. This man did not create the purity culture. We can't blame him. I'd heard this message for years before he came along. He just created a reference for leaders with control issues to use against women. I finally began life when I turned away from all of this mess. The only people I know not damaged by the purity /no dating culture either 1) were married by 18 so it never really affected them or 2) they were total rebels. They didn't actually follow the church teachings. But for people like me who tried to follow the rules, this was nothing but oppression and did nothing to help me find my husband.

[@toobusytocreateaname]

Summerafternoon +

[@JasonRasmussen]

Now Joshua Harris divorces his wife, and kids, and says he is no longer a Christian. This is a deeply disturbed troubled man. He not only wrecked decades of Christians, but himself and family in the process.

[@sjcobra84]

As someone who has a few scars from the whole purity culture, I find him admitting to his errors has given me a sense of closure and respite.

[@dannygodin8706]

I lot of people are confused about Christianity these days. Mostly due to Christians of past and present miss-handling the scriptures and sensitive topics such as homosexuality. I’m a Christian and there is no way I would read the book he wrote and agree with it in any way. His theology seemed way off. I know a lot of people want to bash Christians (and some if that’s deserving, but don’t write off every Christian. There are still some out there that want to support you and not tear you down. I’m not writing this to debate and the end of the day we’re all human, and I love you 3000

[@kjerstieilers114]

Ahhh!!!! Thank you for this! Josh, I was a youth minister and chastity speaker for my area who based a lot of what I shared on your books. I LOVED them. But, like you, I have been going through a lot of transformation the last few years. And I have great respect and admiration for you coming out and sharing your own so publicaly. ❤️

[@familykeepersca]

Hi, so now no longer for you to believe there's the Creator God of the Bible?

[@MsJohnnythunder]

The youth pastor of a church I used to go actually teaches to the teens that it is useless to approach a girl unless you're absolutely sure you will marry her. Basically, dating is futile. For him, it's just a formality before getting engaged and married, basically. He holds to the view that only one person exists to marry you and I need to find that person. Hummm no. There are many godly women. I just need to find one for myself.

[@darkknight901]

Juan preach

[@LSSYLondon]

That pastor needs to be thrown out on his rear.

[@johnh7918]

That pastor will contribute to the divorce rate because if there is only one God intends you to marry then what happens if you get it wrong.

[@rhuxley5130]

This is correct my friend.🧔🏻👍🏻.

[@lucaswilhelmmeyer6943]

In the beginning God made them man and wife. Never changed..

[@sunnylilme]

Humility, the ability to admit he was wrong goes a million miles for me. His intentions were good. That matters..he meant no harm.

[@akelch11]

For a former Pastor, I did not hear any scripture that helped him through his struggle......but he did talk about how evolution helped. Telling

[@grumpyboomer]

Alan Kelch , if you read his book, there’s very little scripture in it. It’s mostly anecdotal with formulas for success. Very little in it about the Savior who bought us with a price.

[@googlereplier8681]

Tells he was falsely converted.

[@freedomhouseministries]

Yes, that stood out to me as well. What we believe about God shapes everything else that we believe. Evolution is man's attempt to explain how everything came to be if there really is no Creator. Why would someone who knows God, need to believe in evolution? Maybe someone who has a very small "God" in mind (?)

[@meryatathagres1998]

@@freedomhouseministries Vice versa again.

[@LipSyncLover]

and? whats the issue with evolution? I don't reject evolution. I believe in God. If anything it sometimes helps me understand God a little bit, to understand how the world turns and how things work. Knowing a bit about evolution has helped me understand that God sees death differently than we do. That its an integral part of life and growth....and there's a biblical parallel there. Jesus says to die unto your old selves. So, I really don't see the problem?

[@toddandkatiemusser4246]

Thank you so much for apologizing Josh. I am in a continuous process of forgiving the church for completely misguiding me. Thank you so much for seeing the process and calling it out. There are many church leaders who need to realize and apologize

[@dougpacanoemanburns4294]

You say fear is bad, but, "the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom"

[@Hero4fun77]

How is that any different and what kind of wisdom? Sorry, fear is still bad.

[@dulcerissa489]

Fear of God means that the respect for God in my opinion because God said perfect love cast out fear ....so fear in that context mean respect.

[@Hero4fun77]

@@dulcerissa489 Nope, fear is exactly what it means. Nobody can say I fear that guy in the context that he respect him. It doesn't make sense and respect does not have to be fear. You see... You are just trying to find a way to make your holy book sound less crazy. So you twist the word fear to respect. What you are saying is that you don't fear God, but you respect him. Just say so.

[@Hero4fun77]

@@dulcerissa489 Somebody can also say "I don't fear God." Does that mean he does not respect him? So just say You don't fear God, but you respect him.

[@Tamarahope77]

The word "fear" in "fear of God" doesn't mean to be afraid, like when you sense threat, have a body reaction of heart racing, and want to escape. The fear he is talking about is either an automatic response conditioned from early learning experiences when something happened was threatening, or a core reaction to something fearful.

[@BrieCheese]

I really liked the part when the woman confessed that his apology was the first time that she ever heard a religious leader apologize or acknowledge that they had gotten something wrong. It takes so much humility to admit to your mistakes and yet, when I look back on my religious upbringing, I have a hard time thinking of religious teachers who admit their recent mistakes. They are more than happy to tell you horror stories from before the knew the lord and decided to walk the straight and narrow, but they don't admit to anything more recent than that. One of my issues with youtube atheists(TM) is that I've found this same lack of humility. I'm not talking about everyone on this website who happens to be an atheists, just some of the ones who made a career out of on their channels. I see so many reaction videos of them trying to ridicule and embarrass anyone who doesn't think as they do and they seem just as bad as the evangelicals that they probably once were. Anyway, I think it's funny that Josh talked about backlash when you try to change because I see it here in the comments. He didn't say that waiting until marriage is wrong and dating is the only correct way to get to know someone before you marry them. You can still live your life as you see fit. He just sees that there's validity in other ways of thinking.

[@j.kaimori3848]

It's here, people have said he was never saved because he's going through a crisis of how much his well intentioned book hurt people. These people feel righteous and are condemning the only man seeking the things Jesus promoted like grace and love for others. He's basically been exiled from Christianity by the people that are mad about this.

[@hollowhorned6852]

There is a reason for that; a lot of atheists come from a religious upbringing, and there is a form of catharsis watching someone beat up the bully the same way the bully beat you up, it takes time for the anger to heal. There are ton’s of atheist channels that don’t focus on ridiculing, (Pinecreek being an example) plus a lot of people are taught that being wrong is stupidity or being done with malice, those beliefs don’t disappear just bec you loose faith, they have to be learned independently.

[@TheHouseACF]

"I'm learning . . . I'm learning . . . I'm learning." Maybe Josh should come back after he has actually learned something. Apparently, he has not learned not to speak too soon.

[@zurzakne-etra7069]

I think he's just more proof that purity culture is very damaging...

[@Scorpia161]

...yeah he should just live in denial about all the ways his ideas didn't work for him, and hurt other people. Because jesus?

[@hybridhazza]

Wow.... Youre a man of god?

[@brian3495]

Thank you Josh for being so honest! I had listened to many of your sermons at Covenant of Life and I feel set free by your humility.

[@alisonlammot4014]

I read your book and had some red flags. I also liked some of the concepts. I took responsibility for what parts of the book I wanted to use and for those I rejected. Why would that be on you? People need to think for themselves and not blame others for their own choices. Your book stirred up alot of thought. I also saw parts that did not fit me. People, do your own thinking!!

[@birdbrain5381]

Because children who knew no better were taught his book as the roadmap for relationships. Purity culture seriously damaged my life and psyche. 13 year old children don't know they can pick and choose when it's taught to them by authority figures.

[@ishdiel]

This is the best comment here... Totally Agree even if you are a Kid... When you grown up, you can decide what to do with your life.

[@Ikdgnot]

I hear you that people should think for themselves but is hard to do when so many groups impose this system on singles and taught as being the superior way. Sadly those that taught it that way would ignore or never admit all the problems IKDG caused.

[@sajanabraham5446]

Amen!! Thank you Alison!

[@AmaindeJH]

Alison Lammot because some people were given this, and similar books, to read as kids and teens, and some of us were not allowed to think for ourselves until we broke away from our families and communities. It is hard to break free when you have been brainwashed, and it takes time to do that. It isn’t just on him or his book though. He is amazing for doing this. No other leader of the cult like purity movement has come forward to do this. I’m really thankful. But it was not just him.

[@Raylight2024]

Sounds like he's falling back into his old ways. He's gotta be right. So he's right again about being wrong. And I guess he's right again about divorcing his faithful wife. This guy ain't worth listening to. He's confused, and he's gonna confuse others who are listening to his gibberish. He set up his listeners by beginning with the statement, "is it a sign of weakness to admit you were wrong?" People let down their guard when they hear a statement like that. Of course he answers his own question. But it's a no-brainer. The average person hates pride and loves humility. He's become the source of wisdom, rather than turning people to the Wisdom which comes from above to be their Source.

[@olive4naito]

Try not to assume anything. He may be a man but it could be that this is not at all about him.

[@sm6jesse]

I agree, he seems way too focused on himself. No wonder he walked away from the faith; where we are told to die to ourselves and follow Christ. "What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world but forfeits his soul."

[@truthwins3065]

You are so right! Very well said!

[@teriundreineryoga8007]

sm6jesse judge not lest you be judged.

[@1ddetweiler]

I may be wrong (but I'm not 😉) but the only thing sadder than false converts claiming to be something they aren't and falling away from something they never had - is- twisted mindsets that lead to false conversions, mindsets that site vrs like "judge not lest ye be judged" or maybe John had it wrong when he said... "but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world." Our prayer should be that God would give us God honoring discernment. Btw, good reply from Ray 👍

[@Shofargirl1]

OUR IDENTITY IS IN CHRIST!

[@pig5267]

Josh harris, welcome to the world of unbelievers! You were blind but now you see! Congratulations!

[@bobgrove316]

I really like your book and agree with what is in it. Scripture should be central to all our relationships. Josh, you were always very humble in explaining your book. You never held it as high as Scripture. You did your best and the Holy Spirit seems to have directed its writing. Don't apologize for a book that was misused by others. If there were specific errors, admit them, but don't throw the baby out with the bath water. It's a great book.

[@catherineevans4718]

Good morning, Mr. Grove. I agree with you completely. Mr. Harris makes concessions in his book, to the fact that the Bible is his authority--and our authority in life--but that we rely on God and His grace, not a religious formula for how best to live our lives. As for the dating subject, God should be our final authority. Pastor Perry Stone said that, after he was in the ministry a few years, as a young man, the Lord Jesus Christ told him his future wife's name, and gave a description of her general appearance, prior to his marriage coming to pass. He dated her (only her), by phone, for two years before he met and married her--all by the Lord's direction. They are still together and enriching each other these decades later. One of my church friends said the Lord showed him his wife, prior to their meeting and marriage. He said the Lord even showed him, with photographic precision, what she would look like. Theyvdated and later married. I have known my friend and his wife for nearly twenty years. No legalism involved. Just obedience to the Lord's voice. Obviously, what I have described will not happen to everyone in the body of Christ, nor has it over the millennia. God has several manifestations of direction for marriage to the right spouse. (Pastor Billy Graham has yet another story of his marital obedience but I do no want to be too long here). We often forget that God can, and has the right to, be precise about what He wants us to do with our romantic lives. Too often we treat this area, that ultimately can affect so much else about every other area of life, given the 'one flesh' covenant nature of romance and marriage, as somehow outside of God's creation and jurisdiction. We (Christians and non-Christians alike) treat it as a kind of a little/big incidental WE created, that God does not pay attention to much beyond certain point, or have any plans for us for. We act as though He is obligated to accept and bless whatever we do with our romantic lives, however much or little, it aligns with His plans for us. Just as we trust Him with specifics about our jobs, our education, friendships, residences, even hobbies or vacations, and submit to Him about the same, we should trust Him with, and submit to Him about our romantic plans. He created us and our capacity to have, benefit from, and share our capabilities of experience with all of the above subjects. As Christians, we owe God our lives and purposes in every area. (1 Corinthians 6: 14-20, verse 20 in particular). You and Mr. Harris (in his former service to the Lord Jesus Christ) remind us of this with your steadfastness in obedience to the Lord. Thank you and God bless you today. Please keep setting the example.

[@joydiano747]

there's nothing wrong with his book actually. it was just base on Bible standard.

[@politicalprincess7871]

@@joydiano747 he is now getting divorced and is no longer a Christian his book ruined so many people's lives while I'm not angry with him I hate that book

[@LzCoda]

I am an evangelical Christian. I didn't know who Josh Harris was until...about 20 minutes ago. So, I thought I would look him up. His TED Talk is great, very honest. I am not convinced that he had to throw out the baby with the bath water, but I have been in his shoes - and I threw out the baby with the bath water. But he is right: death is involved the growing process and you can't rush the transformation process. He knows this not intuitively; he knows this from the Scripture - the Scripture which for now he has rejected. He will be back to Christ. No doubt about it. He will come back to the loving arms of Christ. Christ, Christianity, and the Church wasn't Josh's problem. Josh was the problem. And his honesty is just that: he realizes that he got it wrong. Now he is working through what that means. Christ loves you, Josh. You know that.

[@gregclift626]

I use the book (boy meets girl- not IKDG) as a teacher in a Christian high school. We take the good and toss the bad, like any other book we use. Teaching kids how to sort through any text is a valuable lesson. His books cover a lot of good topics for debate. God bless Josh. He figured out he's not an authority figure. Christ is our authority. Yes, Josh used Bible verses in his book, but his book is not the Bible.

[@meryatathagres1998]

You do the same taking and tossing with the bible too!

[@IzzyNChrist]

but he's still trying to be an authority figure by being so public about his decision, look at how he holds himself. This guy has some clear identity issues. God is using it for his glory though. So many Christians are praying for him

[@meryatathagres1998]

@@IzzyNChrist You're an affront to the human race. God god god prayer god. Never human brain?

[@IzzyNChrist]

@@meryatathagres1998 You need to use your brain to pray to God. You should try it sometime.

[@meryatathagres1998]

@@IzzyNChrist I've used my brain enough to come to the conclusion that the likelihood for the existence of your god is nil.

[@lovelleliam4635]

😔 I’m a victim of the book too which my (previous) church used against me at I was 21 years old wanting to date to get married, quoting things from the book as if it’s the bible to justify why I should not date- as though I was not worthy at all. I left the church. I never stepped foot into another. No, I didn’t leave because they didn’t allow me to date. I left because all leaders and the pastor labelled me as toxic all because I desired a relationship. I was taught having the desire for a partner is ungodly. I left because going to church literally made me feel worse of a human than if I never knew Jesus.

[@albertrauch7159]

I am sorry to hear that the church was so legalistic. Christ loves you even gave his life for you so you could have abundant life. God was not against dating. Unfortunately it was a guy's idea so we need to realized that it wasn't God's saying this. I found Christ outside of the church and found that I could trust him with my life. I have come to the realization that living for me led me to a dark world of depression and utter despair. Today after 30 years I am seeing God almost do something in me and in others as his love is changing lives. I hope that you realize that God is calling patiently you back to experience what he had planned for you and when you found this then there is a life that goes deeper than any human experience.

[@0326hkim]

And those people are the ones that are married with kids and probably having difficulties in their relationship becuase they don’t think realistically but very “Christian like” if you know what I mean. They think too idealistically on how a Christian relationship should be but they forget they are still human and suppress their human nature on how they should react to such things. Unhealthy in my opinion.

[@albertrauch7159]

It is tragic when in the church one book by one young inexperienced man becomes the basis of what they believe We are called to check everything out. I would rather read a book written by someon who had experience. This is why I like books by Gary Thomas on marriage versus this book. He has years of marriage counselling experience and is knowledgeable both about scripture and relationships.

[@albertrauch7159]

@@0326hkim Discipline is healthy. I have seen too much tragedy when people live by their human nature as the habitual pattern of their lives. Grace from Christ in us empowers an individual to find life above this existence so we are truly free to choose versus react.

[@debras3806]

Lovelle Liam That is extremely tragic, and I am so sad to hear the church treated you that way. I hope you can reach back toward God now all these years later and that He will lead you into a church more filled with His love and humility, like Josh Harris is talking about here. Peace of Christ to you.

[@shelahmaul2574]

Josh deserves GRACE, love, and support....there are many ideas circulating around this world....in Christian circles, out of Christian circles. Each one of us, if we are following Christ and reading His word, have a responsibility to ask God for wisdom, judgment, and discernment. The HEART of his message was one of purity and honestly, this is absolutely God's HEART for us. God desires that we would live with purity that stems from a desire to live according to His design because we believe it's for our HIGHEST GOOD and in our own best interest to do so. And in this way, Josh's heart was 100% in the right place when he wrote the book. He's not responsible for how the evangelical community turned his personal story and convictions into a cultural doctrine. There was something in the HEART of his message that resonated with millions....a desire for a pure love. That could never be wrong. He's not responsible for all this *pain* and *hurt.* He couldn't possibly be. My sadness is in believing that WE (the Christian community) have deeply wounded HIM and right now the world is looking like a safer, more grace-filled community to him. He needs kindness right now, not rebuke.

[@jessicamoore3016]

I will pray that he finds god again and we'll said he needs our prayers not hatred

[@janec.3533]

We cannot please everyone. If people were hurt/offended it is not your fault. Staying pure before you get married is still your own choice. We just need to please God and not men. If you keep on thinking about pleasing all, you will end up like J.H. If you're thinking to save the people who got wronged by the book then you could have just REVISED IT!

[@ladycaticorn2950]

There were so many problems with his book. Revising it would not have fixed all of the issues or did anything to address the harm and abuse that came from the ideas in his book.

[@johnsala1619]

I read his book in 1997 and followed the advice for the past 23 years, guess I was wrong too. I admit it.

[@MaximusWolfe]

Why would you listen to “reformed” Christian teaching? Protestantism is fake Christianity.

[@kjohnwilson7534]

"Now the Spirit [a]expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron." -I Timothy 4:1-2

[@imnotdavidxnsx]

Are you selling tinfoil hats on e-bay and if so how much?

[@dejure9178]

imnotdavid Here’s some more Scripture for which I realize you have no respect. But, either consider it today...or one day, you will most assuredly consider it. I pray that it will not be in bitterness. Philippians 2:9-11 9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. One of these knees and one of those tongues...will be Josh Harris’s...and yours. The only question is when.

[@imnotdavidxnsx]

@@dejure9178 "I realize you have no respect for X, so in order to prove my point, I present X." And people wonder why people laugh at the religious.

[@kjohnwilson7534]

Not I, is that supposed to be a joke?

[@imnotdavidxnsx]

@ginaintegrityseeker multiple logical fallacies in one brief statement. How do you people do it?

[@RebeccaLemke]

God knows your heart and your journey, Joshua. In all of the voices you hear, good and bad, know that you aren't truly alone.

[@mariahconklin4150]

Exactly and we are all on a different journey. What works for him may not work for others.

[@blejean5571]

I think he had good intentions. Dating can be traumatic when people treat the other person as a marriage partner. Celebrities have taken away the sacredness of marriage to the point it is treated as sn outdated concept. There is nothing wrong with saving yourself for a sacred marriage with a meaningful partner.

[@sheilashoop3308]

Obviously he no longer believes it's sacred.

[@LSSYLondon]

Marriage is not and never was sacred. It was about combining families, providing a guaranteed heir for land, and maintaining wealth and position. Go back thousands of years and you will see in every society that was the main point of marriage.

[@sheilashoop3308]

@@LSSYLondon God created marriage as a sacred union, man corrupted it. Everything God creates Satan tries to destroy.

[@Mrs.T305]

Thank you!!!!

[@titandragon753]

How have all celebrities destroyed the sacredness of marriage? What? Because some of their marriages don’t work out? It can be extremely difficult to stay married when you are constantly moving around for work. And there are plenty of decent celebrities, who also happen to be human beings ( like all of us are ) who are not only Christians, but have long lasting and meaningful marriages. Tom Hanks and his wife are one example. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban who are both devotedly Catholic and speak openly about their faith. Why do you think that their children are named Sunday and Faith? Kelly Clarkson and her husband, also both Christians who have had a long a very productive marriage. Along with countless others - perhaps you should look into something before judging everyone as the same. I’m tired of seeing celebrities attacked by some people from from the Christian faith. Not to mention the fact that many celebrities hold concerts and events where all proceeds go to charity & many of them personally donate to many other organisations/charities that help so many people in need. Plenty of people’s marriages unfortunately don’t last, and they don’t all fall under the category of celebrity. There are some amazingly caring people in this world. Singers, actors, sportspeople. Who I might also add are also Christians. A person shouldn’t be judged because they became very successful at what they do. Or all fall under ( my marriage failed category. )

[@ivancorredera4241]

Anyone here after hearing the news of Josh Harris divorcing his wife and leaving Christianity?

[@m.jeffreys.tomaneng7619]

hey joshua harris u should publish a book entitled "I'm very sorry, but... Dating can be Godly."

[@dodobrain2620]

That would cancel out the other book

[@ryanb3547]

Which, according to people like Joshua Harris & myself, would be a very good thing.

[@socksumi]

He's not even Christian anymore. He renounced that too.

[@sheilashoop3308]

1 John 2:19 King James Version (KJV) 19 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

[@melz1550]

Don't judge. You don't know what he is going through.

[@sheilashoop3308]

@@melz1550 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 1 Corinthians 5:12

[@sheilashoop3308]

@@melz1550 We must judge according to the truth of things, lest men turn us from the truth and carry us away.

[@socialhour5040]

Man, got tons of respect for the humility and vulnerability. This is some real leadership. Apologies do a lot of good. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@geebeeinga]

So what actually did you get wrong? While I realize the point is admitting you got something wrong and having the courage to admit it publicly you glossed over the salient points of what was wrong? You say people were hurt by your book - but what specifically was weaponized in your writings against them? Maybe a discussion in another talk?

[@raylu8014]

+glbfletc01 why not head over to the site he mentioned where posts people's review?

[@PrizeIVMusic]

Another video would be great, but I don't think explaining what exactly was wrong was the point of this talk. The controversy of the book is nothing new. I think his point was to use an already fairly well known mistake to frame a talk about change, growth, and strength in accepting one's mistakes and letting them go, not to give a point by point analysis of his own book.

[@malthuzianfilms]

The basic problem with the book was, when I read it as a teenager, it gave you the impression that dating, having girlfriends etc was wrong and that you'd get damaged emotionally, so its best to just live radically for God and He'll bring along a partner for you. It sounds right in theory. And it seems to work for a few people. I read I corinthians 7 where paul says its better to be single, and when you're married it can be a distraction. Through all my teens and early 20s I had loads of girls keen on me, and i turned them all down. I gave one of them the "i kissed dating goodbye" book. In my mid 20s I heard from preachers who didn't go along with the idea that God has that one special person out there for you, and preached that there is numerous possibilities who you could marry, so you may need to date a few people before finding a suitable partner

[@raylu8014]

+malthuzianfilms oh yeah, you summed it up pretty well.

[@mlester3001]

I would like to know the same thing. I have seen more problems from people dating than from people waiting for marriage.

[@janellestoermer5479]

He uses humanistic terms...indicative of where he came to. The humility is good, but he is clearly not grounded in the Lord, as evidenced by his recent denial of Christianity.

[@smartcow360]

yet he is spreading more love now than ever before

[@nealdoster8556]

@@smartcow360 Love for whom? 1 John 2:15

[@bilhelm000]

I agreed with about 70% of the book, but I can see how even those parts could be misinterpreted in ways that hurt some people. But I think he's doing a great job acknowledging what he got wrong without abandoning his central convictions.

[@loganpeterjones]

Bilhelm He has now abandoned his central convictions. He now says he isn’t a Christian

[@rocknroll5569]

He does. And maybe that's the reason why he said he made mistakes writing that book is that he already abandoned his faith

[@estheraruka6374]

@ginaintegrityseeker too accurate

[@familykeepersca]

​@@loganpeterjones for him now there's no God, an evolution believer. He needs evidence to know there is the God Creator who created him. I think he'll regret again.

[@familykeepersca]

@@rocknroll5569 for him now there's no God, an evolution believer. He needs evidence to know there is the God Creator who created him. I think he'll regret again.

[@lightacandleforkate]

Man, I just read through some of the comments below and there is a whole lot of judgment going on. It's amazing the tight little circles of what is right and what is true that people draw.

[@liabw05]

Dave Benson agreed! 🙋🏾‍♀️

[@cooki47]

Yep...makes me glad I've kissed Christianity good-by! Jesus is the only Word I live by anymore.

[@amcds2867]

Just like you're doing in your comment Dave Benson.

[@shemeakacarrejo3251]

I personally loved the book, waited, was married, and have a wonderful husband and 3 sons. Not to say I didn't have vices pitfalls and struggles in between. The book compelled me to look into God's word for strength, not just to rely solely on what Josh thought. I think Josh gives way too much credit to himself for it's writing. Did a love for Jesus inspire any of it? I didn't hear a lot about Jesus, or the Holy Spirit in any of this talk. It almost seems from the speech as if the book were a total sales pitch that God "allowed" him to write. He definitely has the right to believe what he wants about his own book, but it is a scary thing to begin to apologize for having a personal standard to pursue purity and integrity when we are ambassadors for Christ. Bad things happen to good people and vice versa. I believe it is good to have compassion in these instances, but biblical truth is truth regardless and we can make no apologies for that.

[@matthewjury4094]

I believe that he wasn't apologizing for his convictions about biblical truth. Rather he had admitted that he was wrong about other things in the book (namely creating a formula for a happy courtship and marriage). His point was that being able to admit that you're wrong is more virtuous than always being right

[@queenofunderland]

I also don't think that he wants to argue that he has special way of pursuing purity. I see it more that He is more persuading people to admit when their lives 'way are wrong before the Lord.

[@nyasha9623]

I think the key word here is "personally." The book may have helped you out but a lot of people may have been negatively affected. I can see why.

[@sacredrose5477]

He had some good concepts. The idea of focusing on really knowing a person rather than getting physical early is smart.

[@evanv4779]

Thanks Joshua for stepping up and telling your truth. Everybody has an opinion, and that's all it really is, an opinion., and that does not define truth. Us Christians are all too often very self righteous, judgmental, two faced, hypocrites and end up sounding ridiculous in defending what we call truth. I tip my hat to you Joshua.

[@aliceperry684]

I find it interesting that towards the end he said “I can’t be controlled by someone else’s view point”. But that is exactly why he started questioning his own views in the beginning of the talk, other peoples view point.

[@2028end]

confusing isn't it.

[@DinghyB]

There is a difference between listening to what others have to say in order to weigh the validity of those opinions and actually being "controlled by [there] viewpoint". It is wise to listen to all sorts of points of view and then weight them against the evidence for truth. That is how wisdom is born.

[@strategic1710]

It's a matter of perspective. When we buy something and it turns out to be good we congratulate ourselves for being savvy consumers. But when we buy something and it turns out bad we say we were "sold" and blame someone else. It's just perspective.

[@Tamarahope77]

He started questioning his views when he realized that his book was "used as a weapon" against people and he couldn't justify it. He changed his views (that's what repentance is, changing one's mind) because he realized his views aligned with a system that seeks to tell others how to live in ways that are controlling and abusive.

[@amcds2867]

Josh has opinions, but GOD knows.

[@teriundreineryoga8007]

To ClassisGirl70s...I think that if anyone’s faith can’t stand up to questioning, doubting, challenges, and change, then maybe it’s not strong enough for that. If God is big, God can handle such. Many people in many faiths don’t think a lot for themselves and they don’t do critical thinking often in their faith. God created an amazing brain to use but often even scripture appears to say to bypass that. I think we’ve misunderstood much of scripture and therefore hav made IT a god rather than God. Peoples stories DO challenge others, and if they can’t think those through for themselves and their faith can’t take that, then maybe they need that challenge. I left my religion to find God when I started actually thinking through my faith. It became much more personal and living and it became a deeper faith with HEART.

[@hellosilly6388]

This was his first step into renouncing his faith. Its a slow fade....

[@hybridhazza]

Prob best to leave him alone to travel on his journey. The last he needs are ppl like you

[@ThatClassic70sGirl]

Who wrote that song?

[@IrinaTrustsGod]

So sad that he left Jesus. But Jesus doesn't leave him.

[@davidbradley834]

@@IrinaTrustsGod how do u know that?

[@IrinaTrustsGod]

@@davidbradley834 Because Jesus is the one who is standing at the door knocking. And because he loves his people until the end. And because he is not pleased with the death of a sinner. Realiry is that the tide of sin is strong and especially USA is plagues with a brothellike culture and it's extremely hard to keep on being on the right way. God's door will stay open for anybody until the end.

[@PaulEugene]

I came across an article in the Christian Post about this and followed the link to this video. I was stunned! I purchased the book myself many years ago with the hope that it would give me some input in Christian Dating. I actually did not buy into all that he said, because it was not realistic the way God wired us. I had no idea at that time that he actually did not live the dating experience listed in it. He was a young 21 trying to find his way like everyone else. But because it was push by the big christian power houses of that day, Focus on the Family, Christian Media, many young christian who did not have the maturity to discern fell in the trap!, the American Christian marketing genies. Why did not the Christian watch dogs of that day not bring this to light? You remember the moral majority, Pat Robinson 700 Club, PTL? I feel for the thousands who were hurt by this, miss opportunities for relationships that were right in their presence. It was good that Josh confess his misguidance of many. Can any of them get the lost time back? No! They need to acknowledge their hurt and go on with their lives just like Josh is, taking his writing and marketing skills to another adventure. I have no idea how much money he made from this book, but I ponder if he ever consider giving some of it to some type of organization that help bring healing to the hurting. Hmmm?

[@toobusytocreateaname]

Paul Eugene +

[@sigurdfyllingkarstad2694]

Admitting that you were wrong doesn't make you weak, nor does it make you strong. It makes you intelligent, and decent.

[@lucaswilhelmmeyer6943]

Even Judas had some sence

[@Jgotmilk555]

A really good book that's an antidote to "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" is "How To Get A Date Worth Keeping". "How To Get A Date Worth Keeping" was written to encourage healthy dating & was written to offer a different perspective than "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". I highly recommend it. It healed a lot of my habits that I learned from "I Kissed Dating Goodbye'.

[@robertg4950]

How did you come to the conclusion you were wrong and now right? Where did your new wisdom come from? What's the source...urself?

[@johnsmith_treeler9031]

Lucifer whispered in his ear and made him think its his own choices and ideas

[@opalrose3014]

@@johnsmith_treeler9031 Did "satan" do this alleged whispering 20 years ago when he wrote the book, or two decades later when he renounced it?

[@johnsmith_treeler9031]

@@opalrose3014 He is in it for the long Game

[@opalrose3014]

Who?

[@johnsmith_treeler9031]

@@opalrose3014 satan. The guy should have never wrote a book if if he says the bible is where he gets his info and beliefs, then why didnt he point everybody back in that direction. Very big Ego thinking he going write a better book as if God didnt explain it well enough satan was in those ears the whole time

[@samuelm370]

I have a hard time believing if someone was truly born again they could ever renounce it. I'm saying is, he never met the risen Christ.

[@caliachmed4718]

At this point, that's what you think is the truth but in the end, you will know the TRUTH.

[@j.p.4910]

He wanted to make a buck by being a Christian, now he wants to make a buck by leaving Christianity. This is the classic behaviour an extremely manipulative narcissist. He left his wife for younger women, and had to find a philosophy that allows him to engage in a this behaviour, simple as that.

[@samgiddyorganist]

Hey Jay, I don’t mean to be rude, but I think that’s a pretty cynical view which doesn’t really align with the man we see in this video. Josh Harris has consistently expressed his views (both as a conservative Christian and now more recently as a non-believer) with a humility and sincerity that deserves, at the very least, a bit more respect. By honestly and publicly rejecting his past writings, he has opened himself up to a wave of anger, blame and ridicule from the community on which much of his life has been based. To suggest that he did this for personal gain is, I think, unfair.

[@j.p.4910]

@@samgiddyorganist This is innacurate, most folks have responded with an incredible amount of naivete, effectively giving him a pass. Christians tend to be very patient (often to their detriment) and willing to hold out hope for people. This man is now a full time marketing consultant. He knows how to push your buttons to make you feel any way he wishes to make you feel. Thus the humble-speak and the inclusion of every buzz word under the sun produced its desired result. Abandoning ones wife after decades of marriage is a cowardly and heartless move. And, he should in fact be called out on this and not given a pass. Please Samuel, use dicernement (and common sense) with these types of manipulative people.

[@wildlight9111]

This is sad. Any true Christian would understand what it feels like to see a fellow member fall away. It’s sad it’s not our place to judge or ridicule or even understand... but... it’s just truly disheartening

[@BreenyLee]

6:09 "what helped me to let my guard down" it all when downhill from here and it reminded me of James 4:4 You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Every time I hear him mention "my book" I cringe. We are only vessels in which God uses. The book was never Josh's it was God's and to therefore say "I was wrong" is to therefore make God a liar. Say you don't believe God and go, I'm sad to see him drag Christ through the mud for the sake of his own reputation and selfishness. I pray this is a lesson for us all not to put faith in any man. Only in God. God doesn't change, we do.

[@BreenyLee]

My prayer for Josh is that he comes to his senses and wakes up from this deep sleep of deception. I was once deceived for a short season where "I felt I was right" but I was shamefully wrong. The heart truly is deceptive above all things, who can really know it?

[@vsilv489]

Yes! I believe you hit the nail on the head. I guess that becoming a grad student made him too wise to be Christian. He is more interested in himself than Jesus. He is the seed that fell on stony places, He did not have root in himself, so when persecution came, he was offended by the word and fell away. Terrible and horribly sad.

[@tinaffehr8912]

My book,my success ,my truth, etc I LOVE ME.

[@TJX1138]

You nailed it...truth.

[@brucesanborn7484]

True that😱

[@jessetoler8171]

Hes just pleased to have the spotlight again.

[@jalRVA]

I don't think you heard a word he said.

[@mary-janechambers3596]

God can take us through the detours of our life and bring us back into his loving arms.

[@IzzyNChrist]

I'm hoping and praying that will happen with him. Please keep praying everyone!

[@BrennahAdrianna]

Mary-Jane Chambers you tell funny jokes ... tell me another 🥳

[@kitelouma2721]

Yes, we all need to pray for him

[@IzzyNChrist]

@@BrennahAdrianna Here's another hilarious one. God could save you too if you wanted him to. Even if you don't, he's going to have the last laugh not you.

[@freshairkaboom8171]

@@IzzyNChrist You can't laugh without a body. We understand how laughing works through science. Maybe you should try it.

[@caylabala]

My parents were really into this book. I never read it, but I definitely remember my dad telling me that dating was preparation for divorce.

[@lucaswilhelmmeyer6943]

He was sort of right

[@ruxaa2224]

@@lucaswilhelmmeyer6943 A case of corelation not causation. Fundamentalists don't date and don't divorce.

[@RebeccaSong]

The capacity to change occurs in our relationship with Jesus Christ. This man has evident change in him. I'm so happy by this. :)

[@edisonching5202]

But the book is still for sale and he's still making money off of it. Talk is cheap and he hasn't repented and is still cashing in.

[@sonofhibbs4425]

Edison, I know right? He’s written a book, made his life comfy with this and people were hurt by it. He admits he’s wrong but here he is preaching again! His talk is cheap and motive self based...entirely!! And people still eat it up!

[@stefaniemedina14]

+Edison Ching he actually has asked the publisher to stop publishing the book.

[@jesse_cole]

No, Rebecca... the problem with his being able to change was the whole "Jesus Christ" thing in the first place. The reason he's changing now is that he's starting to use his THOUGHTS. This is a first step... the next big realization he has is that he's been basing all of this on some notion of an imaginary being called "god." That's not real. And the minute you admit that the capacity to change actually happens in your _own brain,_ you'll be on _your_ way to a conversion of your own.

[@greg7384]

I thought the opposite. He always came across as a phony to me, and look at him now.

[@shanezeph6064]

Hi Josh! I loved your books. I had Boy Meet Meets Girl and Stop Dating the church. The latter came from you. It was sent by your assistant through mail here in the Philippines. 😊 I was cleaning our house earlier and saw the book, that's why I'm here on YT after. You're right, your book needs to be edited (I Kissed Dating Goodbye). In our culture, dating or courtship is essential to know the person well. You were pushy on that book, or a little controlling... yeah bec you were young and inexperienced. Though being young and inexperience can be a good excuse, I'm glad that you know and admitted that you were wrong in a way. I hope you are still rooted on God's Word and God will use you continually for His glory. Praying for you, Josh. May Jesus Christ be your light. God bless! 😊

[@codingraph]

Truly your book was used against me as a weapon

[@promiskept]

I remember when Harris's book came out, and admitting that there is something obviously higher and purer about courtship towards marriage, than shallow hooking up for the pleasure of fairer company, ETC: with broken hearts, (or worse), on both sides, left lying in their wake. I didn't clearly hear; in Josh's talk, here, how any of that is wrong with him now. So,... I'm still going to continue to support courtship over hooking up, and I don't care wtf (that's: where's their faith) folks think otherwise!

[@katelynhebert4399]

Courtship & hooking up are not the only options. Dating is not practice for divorce, it's valuable research to see how your personality works with other personalities.

[@andreasorensenhamler9274]

Wait, you just changed wtf to mean something else so that you can swear for Jesus?

[@promiskept]

@@andreasorensenhamler9274 I don't expect it to catch on as an alternative, like Let's Go Brandon! Just fun to make people pause and think.

[@andreasorensenhamler9274]

@@promiskept Lol, ok.

[@savedbygrace1991]

Okay, so you are wrong about the book you wrote, thank you for being honest, then why would you divorce your wife? Was it b/c you were wrong about the book? It seems that I am missing something in your whole story. Did your transformation caused you to dissolve your marriage? Were you willing to seek marriage counseling to save your marriage? I came to Christ after I got married, I went through transformation, should my husband, who has not experienced what I have, leave me now, or should I leave him b/c we are not at the same level spiritually? Some people might listen to what you're preaching now and walk away from their marriages to follow your example of transformation or they could use your experience as an excuse and walk away b/c they are not Christians anymore, then what? Again you would be hurting couples whose relationships are not strong enough to hold on. I feel something stronger than being wrong about your book is involved here and I hope we will hear about it soon. Come out and give us a clear and complete picture of the whole story, please. Thank you.

[@oneironaut420]

Why the surprise? Divorce rates are highest amongst Christian evangelicals.

[@pand5458]

If these people do something that he does then they are idiots. Follow your on GD drum!🏳️‍🌈

[@alexanderandrew2080]

He will probably come out of the closet.

[@sagrammyfour]

@@alexanderandrew2080 BINGO!

[@MikeHammer1]

@@alexanderandrew2080 I am thinking it is more likely his wife in this particular situation. She has made multiple references about ignoring her "inner voice."

[@annascott-hinkle2367]

Admitting you were wrong is an important step in being able to change and grow, humility is something that is sadly lacking in much of Christian America. Josh Harris's book harmed people he has now admitted that I support anyone willing to admit they caused others harm.

[@yenalejandraaguilera1033]

I read this book years ago! found it intrige, never really took his advice myself, I found it nahive also! I was 26 when I read it, and dated a lot already! have to kiss many frogs to find my right one! I could have never follow his advices anyway! I am very happy nowdays! made many mistakes? yes, and happy to learn from each!

[@benjamin8674]

The Church should pray for him. This is not a new thing. Matthew 24:10 “many will turn away from their faith”. But also we should understand that God is a restorer and this will never be taken away. Also believers shouldn’t be moved by this kind of things. It proves nothing new but that which the scripture has already said. Hebrews 10:38 “ the just shall live by faith but if anyone draws back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” That means Christians May draw back but it is not God’s will. Be strong in the Lord and steadfastly hold on to your faith in the word of God.

[@kalvinflowers5878]

“Admitting you are wrong” seems a bit dogmatic, kinda like you’re changing one dogma for another. And by declaring you WERE wrong are you saying you are NOW right and everyone else is wrong? Biblical faith is still the best answer for mankind’s hurts. I hate to see you abandon your faith and weaken the faith of so many as you go. I hope your journey leads you back to Him.

[@DmitriyMollla]

Amen!

[@thrutheglassdarkly9643]

Hmmmm...I get it!

[@Xavier_Coogat_the_Mambo_King]

"Biblical faith is still the best answer for mankinds hurts" There's no evidence to support that. Scandanavian Europe is predominantly atheist, and each of those countries ranks among the top in health, happiness and quality of life. South America is almost entirely christian, and many of their countries rank among the bottom in those same categories.

[@ardalire651]

He literally never said he was "right." He just said he has realized he was wrong about something HE MADE (his book), and now he's trying to listen and learn.

[@currentresident3775]

Maybe he just woke up from a bad trip that had him admonishing others for their beliefs.

[@camerongage1237]

I read the book when I was 19 and I think it makes some good points but I did let it complicate my thinking like many people. I stills agree that it’s a bad idea to date without purpose. I don’t encourage teenagers to date before college but when I see one reading this book I recommend that they put it aside after their freshman year of college. I don’t believe in “the one” and I believe that God doesn’t care whether or not Christians go on clean dates. I believe basically that one must be solid in their relationship to God before pursuing relationships with others. Otherwise they’ll never be happy.

[@JesusisReturning09]

Social media is a blessing and a curse. Josh, we homeschooled and raised our 4 daughters and 6 sons with your inspirational books along with the Word of God by our side so as to be a Berean ( Acts 17;11 ‘Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thesssalanica, for they received the word with great eagerness , examining the Scriptures daily, to see wether these things were so.” and search the holy scriptures for truth and error with the direction of the Holy Spirit dwelling in us. Jesus said He would be glorified and that God is glorified in Him through the work of the cross. ( John 13) Jesus also encourages the apostles and says,”If you love Me, you will keep My commandments . And I will ask the Father and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever: that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him,but you know Him, because He abides with you , and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” You confirmed and set a standard for our children to grow up and preserve their purity for their spouses and have strong marriages and relationships. Some of them agreed and some did not. But that was their choice. We never tried to live vicariously through our children and prayed that they would have “yirat Adonai” the fear of the LORD. Josh, I approach you here and now as I would my own child. May I ask you some questions? What validates you? Are you finding more meaningful relationships in the souls that Jesus Christ blessed you with that are in your presence now.... meaning your beautiful wife who you made a covenant with before God and your beautiful children that are his personal gift to you? Or, are you finding more meaningful relationships on a computer. phone, or electrical device? Referring to the woman that you met on Twitter, did you tell your wife about that or was it something you were hiding? Why? Having homeschooled all of our children I realize that some pressure of out performing other siblings is normal. Some asked for more attention and insisted on being right no matter what. But we would remind ourselves and our children the the LORD God says, “ Deceitful the heart above all (things) and desperately wicked is who can know it. I Yahweh search the heart test the mind and Even to give every man according to his ways According to the fruit of his doings.” Jeremiah 17:10-11 ( Hebrew translation) So we have to ask ourselves as being children of God, why are we acting and doing the things we do? Does it glorify God. Josh, you spoke of evolving . That is how the “world “refers to it son , but as a child of God and the chosen Godly leader of your wife and children and the sheep in your congregation, you are called to “sanctification “. As I Peter chapter 1 verses 1 and 2 say,” Peter , and apostle of Jesus Christ, to those who reside as aliens, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, who are chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father , by the sanctifying work of the Spirit, that you may obey Jesus Christ and be sprinkled with His blood: May grace and peace be yours in fullest measure.” Josh, we are called to sanctification and to gird our minds for action, to keep sober in spirit and to fix our hope completely on the grace that is to be brought to us at the revelation of Jesus Christ. He is in you son. Reclaim the territory that the enemy is trying to claim. Peter goes on to say, “ Therefore gird your minds for action , keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not Be conformed to the former lusts whoa how were yours in you ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you , be Holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, “ You SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY.” Leviticus 11:44 And if you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each man’s work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay upon earth; knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable thing like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers , but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless , the blood of Christ ( Messiah) . For He was foreknowledge Belfor the foundation of the world , but has appeared in these last times for the sake of you who through Him are believers in God, who raised Him from the dead and gave Him glory , so that you faith and hope are in God. “ I Peter 1: 13-21 This sanctification is our journey, our duty . I pray the you reevaluate your position regarding the souls you have been entrusted with and reconsider obeying God rather than man. For the sake of your relationship with Jesus Christ, son. If you truly are a Christian ( even though you said that you weren’t ) consider carefully what it is that you are saying. Was your council from God or man? Did you go to your wife and children and sheep for prayer and fasting to determine this proclamation on social media or was it just the social media relationships that encouraged , validated, and confirmed your decision through their anonymity? Who have you run to son? Your Heavenly Father, Abba or worldly man. Has your desire to be popular and politically correct , tainted, polluted and clouded your judgment? Your children are watching. Jesus says in Matthew chapter 18 “ At that time the disciples came to Jesus saying,” who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven? “

[@bchlon1]

I read his book in 2000. I thought it was excellent and biblical sound. I am just hearing about all this change! Is walking away from the Lord that easy after knowing Him and being in relationship with Him. The world offers nothing!!! I don't get it!!!

[@Dan_is_a_liar]

I agree. He strikes me as how many "Christians" that went to the church I attended. He lacks the hard life lessons that are sure to bring us to our knees. He's just a guy that's had a relatively easy life.

[@LipSyncLover]

@@Dan_is_a_liar yeah because divorce is so easy...

[@TheMistysFavs]

+bchlon1 --You don't get it? What did both Jesus and apostle Paul say was one thing that would come about in these last days? A "Great falling away".. In the Greek, Apostacia - Apostasy!! HOW many churches are teaching truth? TOO FEW to count! Falling away in English -- leaving the faith.. HOW many are doing that? We ARE in the last days, and we were warned by both Jesus AND Paul.. What isn't to get? If you know your Bible, you get it.. That's another problem: too FEW Christians read and study the Bible. This shouldn't be a surprise at all..

[@ntiffin72]

I read the book 20 years ago and still agree with much of it. 'Dading' as the world does it has no place in church.

[@andrewahall]

Letting go of being right, is more important than being okay with being wrong

[@y00z0rn4m3]

Are you strong enough to admit that you're wrong about being wrong?

[@teriundreineryoga8007]

Seriously, Jon B?

[@y00z0rn4m3]

@@teriundreineryoga8007 He's pretty certain that he's right. While being able to admit that you are wrong is a strength, doing so does not validate your new position or prove your old one invalid.

[@teriundreineryoga8007]

Jon B I don’t think he needs or is asking for any validation. He’s just telling his story. Why don’t we just allow him that. He’s not insisting he’s right anywhere. He’s just admitting where he’s wrong. I don’t think we need to create another story around peoples stories or put words in their mouth. It’s his story and he’s allowing us to read it. No one has to like it or agree with it or make it their own. He’s not asking that of anyone. It’s his business and he wanted to make something right where he believed he hurt others. I applaud him. 👏👏👏👏👏

[@y00z0rn4m3]

@@teriundreineryoga8007 when someone declares something publicly, they've entered the marketplace of ideas. Isn't TED's motto "ideas worth sharing"? It's not just his sorry, is his ideas. He's saying that he's stronger (better) for having his new position. As I said, I agree with the subject of his talk, not but his example.

[@teriundreineryoga8007]

Jon B But If he feels he’s stronger, he’s still not saying he’s right or it’s right for anyone else. He’s saying “ I” feel stronger. Not I am “ right”. It’s right for HIM. I had a pastor tell me when I explained why I was no longer in Church and he said, “ Well, maybe you know more than I do”. I replied, “ It’s not about knowing more than you do, it’s about knowing what’s better for ME than you do. “ Everyone has to be authentic and true to an honest path for them. I don’t know why we feel the need to challenge another when they change directions unless they say others SHOULD TOO. Sharing ideas on a public forum, of course. But, I guess, your comment sounded like you were baiting him or dismissing his truth. Forgive me if I have read it wrong.

[@charriebates9085]

Josh - I am so sorry for you and your family. Scott and I came to know Jesus on Christmas night 1970. We will know our Jesus, Our Savior, 50 years this year. We love Him with our whole life. We have loved each other 55 years on December 4, 1966. We are deliriously happy. We are so blessed! Can not be denied! It is not about how we feel but what the truth of the Gospel is. There is no risk. Truth is truth! Love you bro, we love you and your family.

[@bonnielatshaw6467]

This young man (Josh Harris) is very confused. It's that simple.

[@olive4naito]

He used to be confused. I think he just saw the light. Of course that has no bearing on his marriage. I have no idea what happened there.

[@teriundreineryoga8007]

I’m pretty sure he isn’t confused anymore. Just because someone wanders or wonders or changes, doesn’t mean they are confused. Don’t judge just because you might not agree or like what he has to say.

[@nursimuluansmesh2824]

I feel the need to give my own testimony. I was born in a Christian family where my parents were pastors of a church and are still pastors. Since the age of 16, I began to abondon my faith despite knowing a lot about the Bible. The reason was because I couldn't see Christ real. What I mean by not seeing Christ real is that I could not literally see or hear him or couldn't find him in any of people surrounding me including my parents and the churches I used to attend. By the age of 18 I was told that it's time to give my life to Jesus and I've got myself Baptisted and thought maybe I'll find Christ and find joy that many claim to have received in testimonies. But it didn't happen. I distanced myself more and more falling into taking drugs and alcohol. I came to the point where I decided to take my life away because I wouldn't lose anything after all according to me. I was really sad and hopeless to the point that I challenged heaven that if any of those claimed Gods didn't come to me today anyone of them I would take my life away. I got to my room, opened my laptop and listened to some good reggae music. I saw a video about an evangelical meeting held my Rodney Howard Browne at ORU. And I click on it saying"look at those clowns" at some point Rodney said " if ever you feel that you need God today and you want your life changed and never be the same put your hands on your screen. I was like" OK let's give it a chance". As soon as he started praying, I felt something coming through my body, I felt on my knees and started crying. I couldnt control myself and guess what, I heard him saying in my ear for the first time ever " I am, who I am" and I knew yes he was real. Let me tell you, life was not a bed of roses since then, I fell down sometimes but always get up because he's showed me that he's real. I've met people that I don't even know, but we're able to tell me what was going on in my life God revealing them what's going on and giving them a msg of encouragement to keep hoping. Those encounters shook me and I know that there ain't something else more precious than YAHWEH. What's the point of gaining the world and losing your Soul at the end. He's real so is his love for you. I don't mind suffering for him anymore. It's a pleasure to find strength in his joy.

[@ucanthandlethetruth6600]

It's all about YOU and not GOD, YOU had everything except being filled with God's Precious HolyGhost! You're not "Strong Enough to Be Wrong", you're "Weak Enough to Be Deceived", and that's why YOU went left!✌🏽❤

[@RealwithAida]

U Can't Handle The Truth Truth.

[@mishaelfernandez1]

Leaving "Christianity" and leaving God / Christ are 2 separate and distinct things. One can leave the institutions and vestages of Christianity but still have a relationship with God/Christ. I feel like some people commenting here think that the 2 are inseparable and indistinct.

[@patricj951]

Absolutely correct!

[@lindavandezande2130]

Thank you so much for this difficult honesty.

[@samgiddyorganist]

And thank YOU for putting a refreshingly decent comment in this thread

[@roxanelk2802]

The struggle is real...

[@al-monaschreyack7715]

Josh, I was raising teenagers when you wrote your book. I appreciated your heart for wanting to help young people pursue purity. But the legalism in the book regarding how that purity is played out is where you may have gotten confused. The cross of Christ says that our transformation is a work of the Holy Spirit. So it’s progressive; it doesn’t happen by creating rules to follow. It comes with many defeats along the way, but with many moments of communion with God where victory happens. Legalistic Christianity creates dishonesty, but an honest and humble relationship with God births obedience through HIS power. I love you Josh, but please reconsider not walking out on Christ. It’s okay to walk away from a false system, but please don’t walk away from God and the truths of Scripture!

[@polopopolo2197]

Beautifully written.

[@familykeepersca]

No, the reason he walked away was he no longer believed there's a God, he believed in evolution, pay attention to what he said at 9'40"。 So, what he needs to know is the evidence of God, not love!

[@anaacri4166]

Beautifully said, I agree 100%.

[@oliviadobben4654]

deconstruction isn’t something you can consider or reconsider, unfortunately. once it starts, you can’t stop it. he hasn’t “walked out” on anything or anyone.

[@pedrorodriguez464]

Wow! This was an excellent story of courage and humility from Joshua Harris! "... there is Transformational power in admitting you got something wrong. ..." WOW what a powerful insight!!

[@dennisacac]

Now it's time to write another book, titled, "I Kissed Dating Hello".

[@johncastillo6920]

Praying for this man. It makes me so sad :(

[@Sherlock245]

Keep praying for him and shannon I feel like dying.

[@yoadrian8496]

Made money on his book. Making money-behind the scenes-on renouncing his book. Profits a man to be a talker!