Finding Integrity in Difficult Conversations | Todd Kane | TEDxSUNYCortland

During the 2020 pandemic, hairstylist Todd Kane found himself trapped in conversations with clients in the salon. Years of experience behind the chair, on stages, and in classrooms did not fully prepare him to deal with 2020’s uncomfortable truths, triggering conversations and financial threats to his business. In this talk, Todd Kane insightfully breaks down how to work through your fears and find a bridge between people’s truths, even if they differ. Do you have an uncomfortable conversation or relationship to step back into? This talk is one you’ll want to share in the DMs. Todd Kane is a hairstylist, speaker, author, and experienced leader who has spent over 30 years developing the talents of diverse people in both the military and private sectors. In his first book, "Hide & Seek, There’s No Truth in Fear," Todd shares his personal experiences of choosing safety over uncomfortable truths and introduces his FIND methodology, which helps individuals and organizations overcome fear and navigate difficult conversations with integrity. He is an experienced speaker and facilitator who frequently presents authenticity, diversity, and inclusion across the country. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@jacquiechandler2031]

Yes! Thank you for reminding us how our diversity brings many opportunities for sharing our 'points of view' and it does not need to break the cellular links that connect us as a species seeking to evolve

[@ranc1977]

"diversity brings many opportunities" Over generalizations are not healthy. Sometimes it is great to hear diversity - it gives us tool to beat Rashomon Effect and egocentrism. However - when we are too much open to others - predators and narcissists will take advantage of our openness and agreeableness. Sometimes it is okay to tell someone off.

[@alyssaweston8744]

Thank you for sharing your story! I really connected to the idea of experiencing safety on multiple fronts, and getting to the root cause of that unsafe feeling. Thank you for modeling an authentic way to repair harm with those we care about.

[@iamtoddkane]

I appreciate you watching, connecting, and acknowledging the modeling. It was the heart of the process for me and an experience that held the core msg and most valuable lessons.

[@sspears_88]

We all deserve to feel safe in difficult conversations, but sometimes circumstances make it even more difficult. Thanks for sharing your story, Todd, and for providing us with the tools to approach things differently!

[@iamtoddkane]

I'm happy you watched and connected with my talk. I'm happy to share my experiences and the valuable lessons they provide.

[@dewybrowneyes]

With this model, I hope to FIND my back into conversations with integrity even if it may make me feel uncomfortable. Thank you for your words!

[@iamtoddkane]

Thank you for your comment! There is value in the discomfort. Feel it and let it guide you. I appreciate your feedback.

[@tpeterson6213]

Todd, this is an important message. Thanks for sharing, your words have power. Hugs my friend!

[@ranc1977]

What was the message?

[@user-yr9pr8vo6z]

Amazing Todd! Can use this in my leadership training. Learning how the have tough conversations is a tool we all need!

[@mariahedgington8717]

Excellent Talk Todd!! FIND -- such an important way to find our way back together. Thank you for sharing your insights and message.

[@iamtoddkane]

Thank you! I hope you use FIND often for better conversations and relationships. It was my honor to share this experience with you.

[@dennisryaneriksen3490]

FIND ❤

[@jetsetben]

Todd, My partner Mark and I just watched your TEDx Talk and wow, we are so impressed by your messaging and delivery! We all encounter difficult conversations that can benefit from your approach. Thank you for sharing this and for giving so much of yourself to help others. We appreciate you!

[@iamtoddkane]

Thank you Ben and Mark. Perhaps your HR lead would like this as well. It could be used for team development. Please share with them and feel free to connect us if comfortable. Thank you again for watching.

[@iamtoddkane]

I'm happy you and Mark connected with the talk. I hope you FIND it useful in your conversations and relationships.

[@ianthesullivan]

Love this so much! The FIND method is a game changer for me. What a fantastic talk. Amazing!

[@PeterRosas]

I enjoyed your conversation Todd, well done. I liked that it was thought provoking. As a hairdresser, I felt the emotions that occur everyday behind the chair. Most conversations with clients are light hearted and jovial, but every now and again when there is a difference of opinion in whatever was being discussed. You know it immediately with their facial expression or their body language. For me the emotion can become a fight or flight situation. Which is never good in a business situation. Thank you for your insight.

[@bradleymoore7622]

Todd, I loved how your talk started and I enjoyed the idea you shared. Fantastic lesson and idea that you chose I loved it!

[@user-le6ik1nh9q]

Inspirational message! Having Integrity is so important

[@ranc1977]

I didn't get what is his point. It is like he tries to tell us something important but has no skills to put it in words understandable to anyone but himself.

[@user-zh3xq1vw9e]

Todd , I loved your talk, truly covered what can happen to all of us behind the chair. You explained and expressed it so eloquently and at the same time challenging us to do better . Thank you I truly loved it ❤

[@iamtoddkane]

Thank you! We give a lot, experience a lot, and need a lot of practice maintaining our energy, health, and well-being. Integrity is the key to all of it.

[@user-xr7zi4mc5e]

Thank you for sharing Todd I’ll definitely share FIND. Great tool ❤

[@PennyMoody-kp4wd]

Powerful message...need more of this these days!!

[@user-zh3xq1vw9e]

Todd , I loved your talk, truly covered what can happen to all of us behind the chair. You explained and expressed it so eloquently and at the same time challenged us to do better . Thank you I truly loved it ❤

[@deirdreanderson77]

This was great Todd! Very inspiring words and a very relatable message.

[@TanjaDiamond]

So amazing seeing this talk from its idea stage to the TEDx Stage!! YAY! Well done, and such important information!

[@iamtoddkane]

Thank you for all your help. I hope you also connected with the experience as a hairstylist and service provider. :-)

[@TanjaDiamond]

@@iamtoddkane Absolutely!!!

[@jesumpitogo4312]

This presentation is informative! Thank you for sharing ur invaluable insights❤

[@user-xr7zi4mc5e]

Thank you for sharing Todd. Words do matter.

[@user-zh3xq1vw9e]

Todd excellent talk, every hairstylist should listen to this piece. You truly capture the vulnerability felt behind the chair especially with Political and emotional climate going on in the world now. Your talk was not only informative but very relatable along with the challenge for us to do better Thank you It was brilliant ❤

[@iamtoddkane]

Thank you for watching and connecting with the msg. Being a hairstylist requires vulnerability and maintaining our integrity in difficult conversations and situations.

[@user-fy9qs2ji7b]

Thanks for the wise words and perspective 👏

[@connorobrochta1469]

Love this Todd!! Keep doing you

[@deborahgreenhut5025]

This is a gracious yet fierce examination of catching yourself adrift without integrity. The acronym “FIND” is a helpful beacon for the way back to the shore.

[@leihllc]

Wow! Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and sharing your story Todd! I can’t even imagine how so many people in the beauty industry felt going through the pandemic. I can’t wait to hear the next Ted Talk. AND I LOVE YOUR BOOK “ Hide & Seek: There's No Truth in Fear “ Your story is so inspiring to us all.

[@iamtoddkane]

Thank you for watching and reading! The only failure in experience is losing the lessons in our fear.

[@ocdude714]

So proud of you 🎉

[@rjmsbr247]

Well done, great message!

[@ginnymueller5678]

I found this very relatable - how many times have I sacrificed integrity because I feel unsafe? Especially during Covid when things were so polarized! Todd does an excellent job of guiding the listener on how to re-enter difficult conversations using the simple acronym FIND. Can’t wait to hear more from Todd in the future.

[@iamtoddkane]

Thanks Ginny! Perhaps your HR lead would like this as well. It could be used for team development. Please share with them and feel free to connect us if comfortable. Thank you again for watching.

[@iamtoddkane]

Thank you for mentioning the polarization - it is driven by fear, and I created FIND to build bridges between people's truths.

[@yvonnecharette-kitelinger6141]

Thank you for making us all think! This was amazing ❤

[@ellencita2]

Well said Todd!

[@jannalopez4176]

very valuable and relatable insights! Thank you so much for your truth and wisdom! :-)

[@Asj2389]

Hi Todd , Thanks for sharing your growth with us!

[@ronryannoval6341]

Amazing talk and meaningful message baby! I’m proud of your growth! I love you 💙

[@user-lx1px3vx8q]

Great message and one that we all need to hear in this current world.

[@PretzelAnnRed]

Nice one Todd! Learned a lot from this talk.

[@markrivera6634]

Love it!!!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom :)

[@chrissybarr8525]

Love this!

[@SilvesterSpeaks]

👏👏👏

[@SabrinaAngel]

👏

[@gurjindersinghsandhu8540]

First comment🎉

[@manjudekasaloi3093]

Fake subscribers and fake views 😂

[@Coconutt69]

That’s interesting ❤ I would love to follow your journey! Keep going man ❤