Redefining Asian Masculinity | Kevin Kreider | TEDxBergenCommunityCollege

[@007peter]

Kevin I hope you see this: I WANT TO THANK YOU. You don't know what this video means to me. As a fellow Muscular Asian, I finally realized I build up a lot of muscle to stand out from being called "ASIAN". You're video is very HEALING for me. I thank you from the bottom of my ♥.

[@shortfunnyvideos566]

Peter Yang its just a label 🏷 just be confident

[@ba-mn3dx]

You lifted so much you turned white?

[@KevinKreider]

I see it and see you. Glad it could heal. Don't let the haters who don't have the discipline to be healthy and build a body you're proud of get to you. Let them be salty, lol!

[@AaronPangMusic]

Many times I've felt like getting laser eye surgery and working out was the only way I could seem less "Asian". It feels like being an Asian male in North America is a turn off for women here, and the less of that look (skinny, wears glasses) we emanate the slightly better off we seem.

[@007peter]

@@AaronPangMusic You don't need Eye Surgery, due to the immense Kpop popularity, slanted eyes "look" is more accepted than having an Big Wide Feminine Eyes. But as a MAN: you must LIFT BRO. In America, looking like a muscular gangster is not only an Big Attraction factor but it also serve to protect me from fights. Being Physically Dominating is a MUST if you live in America. Being "thin" is not just a liability in attraction, it can get you killed. As much I hate to admit it, being Strong (look like you can beat up people) has been my biggest survival advantages living in the USA.

[@jaygeeinMN]

Thanks as always Kevin for sharing this message. It is so important for Asian male identity in the US.

[@KevinKreider]

Jay Gee your welcome, and yes! It’s super important

[@jaygeeinMN]

Kevin, do you have any events or programs that promote male Asian identity?

[@tlogdude]

@@KevinKreider , I noticed that you used to be a competitive drug free bodybuilder. Since those physiques usually go noticeably beyond the "beach body"/average gym-goer appearance, did it help deter potential bullies and attract women since it very noticeably counters the stereotype and adds to the exotic factor?

[@customfantasyhotwheels]

@@KevinKreider - It's spelled "you're" (you + are = you're).

[@MinecraftJesusGaming]

hes an "attractive" asian male, think about how hard it is for normal looking guys

[@mav1877]

Excellent speech. Most Asian males in US feel this way. Unfortunately, media conditions or brainwashes the masses here. I am also determined to go against the stereotypes that media tries to impose on us.

[@lyannasotelo5306]

I don’t think it’s brainwashing. It’s a lot to do with pheno types and what women are accustomed to be attracted to which are more masculine features

[@nathanchilton8917]

@@lyannasotelo5306 i completely agree. some part of it may be cultural sure but the overwhelming reason is phenotypes. For instance, height and facial hair are two scientifically proven attractive male features. Caucasian men are far, far taller than Asian men on average, and they also have actual facial hair (i mean full beards, not skimpy pedostaches) to work with unlike most East and Southeast Asian men. And that's just TWO traits off the top of my head....

[@mzmz6308]

@@nathanchilton8917 Kevin Kreider is 6' tall, ripped with model-level facial features, full beard coverage and STILL experiences rejection on the basis of being Asian - even by OTHER Asians. You can't tell me that is mostly phenotypes at work here.

[@John_DoeMusic]

@@mzmz6308 He stands nowhere near to the caucasian standards though.

[@makannetflix9030]

Who come here after watching Bling Empire?

[@xtzyshuadog]

*YES, Kevin and Kane all the way~* Despite how it's another show in USA that shows Asians as rich and glamorous, it's got heart and family in mind. That first episode though, that must have been horribly tough

[@chrisdu4107]

can't wait when Kevin shows this side if a season 2 gets made

[@aptahan]

Meeeee

[@李珊-f2r]

Asian men are handsome

[@李珊-f2r]

I also really like Malay men

[@georgecheng4920]

Your experiences and feelings were identical to mine growing up. Im a canadian born half chinese and half korean that grew up in group homes with non asians. It feels so wierd that we felt the exact same things and went through the exact same process. Watching your videos gives me a warm feeling and i am thankful that theres someone like you around. Your a great speaker and keep up the good work.

[@laurelsmithson1613]

This man is so humble and lovable. Honest, compassionate and drop dead gorgeous all at the same time. I am in Love with is mind and actions. The Total package.

[@kadacho]

I’m white, but this brought tears to my eyes and made me cry. My best friend is asian and some of my other close friends are asian too. I never imagined that they may have to go through feelings like this ... (they are asian Americans) I’m going to do better from now on and stop people from perpetuating these stereotypes and keep them in check. I can’t believe a fellow human being could feel so uncomfortable in their own skin because of this messed up society...thank you for your talk Kevin!

[@user-og9nl5mt1b]

You really had to say u are white huh

[@martind349]

@@user-og9nl5mt1b Apparently, the paragraph was edited.

[@lucygoosey33]

It’s nice to know his story after seeing Bling Empire and seeing that he learned from his life experiences. It takes courage to do this.

[@SuperGreatSphinx]

"Masculinity is not about being the biggest, the fastest, the strongest, the one who sleeps with the most girls, and the one who has the most money. The one who has the most accomplishments is not the most masculine. In fact, it is often the men who covet these things most who are covering and compensating for the greatest insecurities. Let us revere the one who loves others deeply, loves himself deeply, and has a dream that he is inspired to live with and by and through. He is a man. He does not stand unmoved or untouched in the face of truly moving experiences. He does not judge the totality of his life or anyone else’s life by the totals on the scoreboard as the clock ticks down to zero. He does not use money as a proxy for emotional connection nor material possessions as the measure of his self-worth. He does not define his manhood by the number of women he has conquered. He does not always fight fire with fire; sometimes he doesn’t need to fight at all. He does not meet seriousness with silliness when it is seriousness that is required. He does not take risks for risks’ sake, because he does not hide from his frailty, his mortality, or his humanity. He does not pretend to know everything about anything, nor is he afraid to admit when he knows nothing about something. And perhaps most important of all, he does not walk around thinking he’s The Man. No, the masculine man goes through a journey, a process of self-discovery, and figures out what he needs to do to acquire the tools, knowledge, wisdom, grace, love, passion, and joy to pursue his destiny. His destiny is his dreams. Those may evolve over time, but in their pursuit, he is not breaking down anyone else or hurting anyone else. He is not at war with other people, conquering them. He is the one joining forces, searching for the win-win. He is the one who is lifting others up, inspiring others through his journey and his own process (in which he is finding ways to create value along the way). He is the hero of his own journey. And in so being, he is looking for every way to have the best relationships possible with his family, friends, his romantic partner, his colleagues, or his customers. He’s finding ways to be the best possible version of himself. Masculinity is about discovering yourself and owning what you find. It’s about being kind to others, and pursuing your dreams with all the passion and energy you can muster. It’s about doing something that is meaningful to you that brings value to others. That’s how you build a legacy." ― Lewis Howes, The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives

[@ddacoe0]

cool

[@flashmedia8953]

Not 100% but close. I disagree that he doesn't take risk. Everyone take risks

[@rogerthat6395]

Thank you for the message. 🌺 Stay Amazingly Awesome. 😇👍

[@joekkl]

Masculinity is about the ability to get the chicks you want. Don't make it too complicated. It's that simple. :) ;) haha, kidding here.

[@adad-ec6ht]

Chinese Kings used to have 1000s of wives to show their masculinity. Where did that come from?

[@pwat7254]

We need to see more Asian men in movies, kissing and getting the girls instead of playing the goofy side kicks, karate villians or smart nerds.

[@foodlife4117]

It will be a huge step. Hollywood won't let that happens that easily. But we need to keep working on it !

[@perfectsplit5515]

It is very rare when an Oriental male protagonist gets the pretty white girl. The Replacement Killers stood out as a very unique movie because it had this rare formula.

[@IloveElsaofArendelle]

We had the Korean Glenn Rhee of "The Walking Dead" portrayed by Steven Yuen, who was married to Maggie Greene, portrayed by Lauren Cohan. The first AMWF couple on screen

[@guitarplayer1994]

@@IloveElsaofArendelle Well Glenn Rhee was Asian in the comics as well. Not very surprising then if the source material specifically says that. What disturbs me the most is the thought of: What would the reaction be if he wasn't Asian in the TV series? Nobody would have bothered, maybe the comic book fans, but that's all, I guess ...

[@thug4lyfe]

@GreaterGood510 Exactly, Asian men are not typcast into goofy side kicks on Korean movies and Chinese movies.

[@powerem7950]

He speaks the truth. I believe as asian men we allowed certain actions and stereotypes to be acceptable when it is not thus degrading asian men in general. Media also adds to the stereotype and need to be held accountable. Thank you Kevin for putting forth the issue to help us redefine what it means to be an asian male.

[@lakers1001000]

Crazy how so many Asian men have that same story. Been a damn journey finding myself. So glad I finally did! No validation or approval needed to just be you.

[@ashina5924]

The amount of times I've heard "for an Asian guy you're ________" opposite of the Hollywood stereotype. I'm like....i know no one like the Hollywood Asian stereotype lol

[@Calvbread]

Very well spoken! Asian masculinity has always been an ignored issue, it’s now time to speak up! Stay woke brothers and sisters I love y’all ❤️

[@whatzupdudes7]

Great talk Kevin fight the good fight I’m right there with you brother

[@KevinKreider]

Spiritual Wisdom awesome manN

[@Calvbread]

Spiritual Wisdom your profile pic doesn’t really help

[@wingsumlo7170]

Thanks kevin this really means alot. The western media has been putting asian men in disadvantage like how they portray asian men in breakfast tiffany. I never see an icon, feeling distress and getting no support. I hope that changes somedays. An yeah if im not alone , why don’t no one ever talk about it. I find this so messed up

[@Calvbread]

John Lo it’s messed up bro, but maybe that’ll change in the future thanks to the influence of The Korean Wave

[@eddiew2325]

John Lo John please meet me at the altar with your white dress. We ain’t getting no younger so we might as well do it. Been thinking about this for a while now I just confess

[@deltafour1226]

You're confused. Asians can make films with other asians. But having an asian male and another race woman would just expose asian males for what they are. Asians want to be treated as white, while resembling and communicating a completely different energy than white people. Asians wouldn't look asian if they weren't viscerally weak. Their faces are detached from their bodies and embody an energy of looking for someone to offend them or be hurt. Id suggest evolving.

[@AaronPangMusic]

@@deltafour1226 Maybe Asian men feel viscerally weak because media portrays us in such a negative light? Media is incredibly powerful. As much as we can feel confident in who we are and comfortable in our own skin, you cannot deny the fact that people reject us based on how we're portrayed on movies and tv. If non Asian women never make any friends with Asian men, their opinions of us may very well only come from those movies they saw. It's the fact that we can't do anything about it. Some of us in that sense aren't weak, we literally have to change the opinion of the above mentioned people, but it can seem like we're looking for validation when we say "I'm not like that Asian guy in that movie. I'm different and let me inform you and prove it to you."

[@jialian93]

Yeah it was refreshing to hear this. On reddit forums like aznidentity and asianmasculinity most guys are just bragging about how many girls they get whenever people talk about them struggling.

[@justinbartles5213]

Great speech Kevin. Thank you for sharing. I'm an asian male and I personally have been through this so I know what you're talking about. AT this moment I could say that I'm proud of my identity and respect myself for who I'm !!

[@lisamilano5898]

And be always grateful to your parents

[@hyeonminyang]

we were constantly reminded of our asian stereotypes that most almost all asian ted talk speakers have the same topic about asian stereotypes.

[@lisamilano5898]

But they speak the truth

[@simonsays5094]

what else should we talk about besides the topics that matter?

[@thereGoMapo]

We are asian men, we are human beings.

[@thecollinzboy]

Why do people call Asians yellow anyways? Their skin isn’t yellow it’s like a tan light brown color but not yellow

[@eclpism]

@@payamal-abid2651 Really?

[@eclpism]

@@payamal-abid2651 .You just never feel it.

[@gpl992]

@@eclpism Well that dude seems Arab,so he is Asian too....

[@trekkingtomahawk921]

@@payamal-abid2651 you got anymore buildings to blow up?

[@BHCollectives]

This is perfect. Almost exactly what I went through growing up in a predominately white neighborhood in San Diego California. Spread the word man, great speech!

[@KathehFIT]

The crazy thing I don't want my son to go through this..:( he half Korean and half domincan (born in ny) I know he might be bullying. I have been bullied too.. I don't ever want him to feel out of place. The hair loss I think happened to my husband (before I met him). It's interesting how you learn so much about people in short time.

[@poormansoutdoors.6765]

Thank you Kevin. Your speech is priceless and very inspiring. Embracing my Asian American pride.

[@legislative222]

Great speech Kevin. It really resonated with me and I'm sure with a lot of Asian men out there. Hopefully I can learn what you have showed me here and apply it to my daily life.

[@KevinKreider]

I hope so too! thanks for writing in!

[@spemhaen142]

legislative222 o

[@mutrusmcplumpo1307]

I resonate with this guy. I grew up in west Texas in the 80s and 90s and it was hard to convince people I was human. Even teachers were bullies back then, I didn't know why people hated me.

[@marioncarbonell6047]

Oh sweet Christ, I feel you man, I’m a white-skinned Mexican but mainly have indigenous features (almond shaped eyes, aquiline nose, big lips) and I get confused with being Asian all the time and yep, certain people aren’t too nice if you don’t look Eurocentric in Arlington.

[@712818]

Thank you so much Kevin for shedding light on this issue.

[@interiorsretailfacts]

Can't wait to Bling Empire Season 2!

[@michaelp9061]

This is the kind of talk people rarely pickup yet it goes on in our society everyday yet people turn their back on.

[@loudradialem5233]

4:09 and 4:50 Now, you are against rejecting Asian women for their race, the same way they reject us, and only date white women, because you're past it, but you fail to notice it was important for your development. To my Asian brothers: if you feel you need to reject Asian women to get back at them, do it. They are doing it to us, it's just getting back at them. If you feel you need to do it, it's because you probably need to do it. Maybe in the future you'll look back and don't like what you did, like Kevin does. But it was necessary for your development. The "future you" isn't the "present you". If you think it isn't fair to Asian women, don't worry. Their lives are easy.

[@tomasolsson6493]

Go back

[@victoriapowell4212]

I've always found Asian men attractive. Still do. While we are not a majority, there are those of us who intelligently don't buy into stereotypes, particularly mainstream media stereotypes.

[@tdatvperth]

Have you ever been in a long term relationship with an Asian man?

[@sergiusmagnus5781]

​@@tdatvperth probably not. She talk good,but in reality ? Funny joke

[@nanoano88]

@@sergiusmagnus5781"Talk good"? No, she talks bad.

[@s20031102]

Even though I am no Asian American ( a international student in NYC) but I can sense the great difference before and after coming to US.

[@nonnad9210]

Honestly it's so hard to believe someone as attractive and intelligent as Kevin would feel insecure and bad. When you look at people you never know how they feel. I wonder if I grew up in Asia... would I hate myself too?

[@Suite_annamite]

Purely African: *Maybe you're talking about the Philippines or something, or specifically western women* because western men are beginning to be quite hated among Asian countries that are growing and feeling that they don't need western male expertise. *Vietnam is an example of a country that welcomes foreign women but is very weary of foreign men.*

[@jasonomnia9295]

Nonna D White people in the country where I’m from are always given the better treatment, and especially in our media. Both the media and the people you meet LOVES IT when they meet a white person (Westerners as we refers to white people specifically) who can speak our language, eat our food, and enjoy our musics. White people are more likely to given a pass if they commit a lesser crime like passing a stop sign without stopping. There aren’t any bad stereotypes about Westerners (again referring to specifically white people) so you’ll probably won’t hear people mocking you with it till eventually that’ll make you hate yourself/self hate/self loathing (and probably your own people) like Asians have it in Western countries. Negative stereotype like Asians are bad drivers (which not all of us are, and also non-Asians can be bad drivers too), Asians women are submissive just to name a few. So in conclusion: no, you won’t feel bad about yourself living there

[@ldanh1992]

Do you live in VN bro? because i completely disagree with that statement

[@Suite_annamite]

*Vietnam has foreign female celebrities, but no foreign male celebrities: everybody loves Andrea Aybar and others like her!* She's a Spanish model who was raised in Vietnam and speaks the language fluently, and all the men love her, while some Vietnamese girls are jealous of her. *I am also acquainted with some North African girls who model in Vietnam, and there is no trace of North African or Middle Eastern guys around either. Vietnam is always the special exception in Southeast Asia in more ways than one: the Americans had to learn that the hard way 45 years ago.* Older foreign men in Vietnam who are taken seriously are academics or business experts: there is no place for those failed hipster douchebags who just give up and end up in Thailand or the Philippines.

[@user-bo7zf3nz5e]

+Nonna D Kevin is Asian American , up bring really depends on where you grew up and how life was . Now facing discrimination at a young age for being different can happen . It doesn't matter how attractive you are because you will get racially discriminated and that can really affect you at a young. This had nothing to do with being Asian and being in Asia which made Kevin insecure .

[@lisamilano5898]

He's so cute. He's very lucky because besides his fit body he's very handsome. He's self confident and so sincere and it's an inspiration for many Asian males

[@shortfunnyvideos566]

Lisa Milano but just being fit means you get automatic attractive points

[@albireotheredguard1599]

How is getting in shape 'Lucky?

[@mikigohil9303]

Man, I can totally resonate even growing up in an asian family. Great talk...really appreciate it so much.

[@LadGaddh]

Thank you for sharing Kevin, you've been so fortunate with good looks, kind heart and a loving family who are complete strangers but took you in and love you like their own. Self love and acceptance is the first thing one must have in order for others to accept you.

[@catherinelin6252]

Very inspiring speech Kevin! You are very attractive and your attractiveness not only comes from appearance, but also comes from your confidence and compassion! Keep up with the good work!

[@murt4701]

Kudos to you, takes balls to speak such vulnerable truth.

[@jztouch]

Oh man that was so raw. I'm sure he speaks the truth for many people out there. I truly hope that our society can reach a place where people are not valued any more or less because of their race. Every race is beautiful and diversity is strength!

[@RD-kw7mk]

This story totally resonated with me as an Asian male American 😭

[@TristanZify]

Thank you for sharing. I can relate to your experience as I grew up in the environment where I was the only Asian in the entire school.... back then. Everything you mentioned was everything I experienced growing up in Montreal, Canada.

[@modernasianmovement8319]

One of the few Asian dudes to be vulnerable and talking about these topics that no-one talks about! Def inspired me to make my own videos about being Asian. Let me know what ya'll think.

[@jtek5si]

Thank you for this video, Kevin. I'm humbled by how true this experience rings in a lot of people that i know including myself.

[@glitchynikki]

It was wonderful to hear your story.. when I was 15, my first boyfriend was Asian. Then my second boyfriend, at age 18, was also Asian. I honestly didn't know there was this stereotype because they never told me and I never viewed them that way. I had to break up with both boyfriends because we met at school and I moved away for the first one, and went to a different college for the 2nd. But, after 18, I never had an Asian guy ask me out, or really even talk to me again.. and I wonder now if that's because after age 18 they've faced so much rejection and stereotyping they never wanted to try.. that makes me sad. :(

[@nikmuhamadizzat9903]

You need to start conversation with them

[@out-of-pocket-podcast987]

Wow thanks for sharing

[@samuelanderson9416]

Theres some truth in this

[@glitchynikki]

@DarthVader Okay sounds good, lets chat and see if we feel anything or get good vibes from each other? :D

[@flashmedia8953]

Nelle? Is that you? You talked like my ex gf in my teen! I missed you, babe!

[@TheMissSioux]

Wow! This is impressive - he is very eloquent and yes I am here after Bling Empire!

[@speedracer77]

This is the story of my life. I am an Asian male in a white society and have been shunned, rejected, and mocked my entire life just like Kevin was in grade 6. Except that I am still stuck there. Where he started working out, I thought that I could just "be myself" and pursue my interests in computers and art and people would eventually "like me for me". I am now 46, depressed, and alone. Don't make the same mistake as I did. Be like Kevin, not like me.

[@MrRisingapple]

Then follow your own advice. Be like Kevin, not like you are now. Take responsibility, its never too late, unless you are dead

[@Zoowap96]

This is why we need more Asian men dating outside of their race. For those Asian men that date Asian women are just as bad / buying into “Asian men less masculine bs “ lol. When I see Asian brother with a Hispanic or white women I feel so proud !

[@shortfunnyvideos566]

I feel bad for asians if they really have to go through this i feel aful

[@Kyeongjuni]

Mali TV I can confirm. I was basically harassed from my elementary school to middle school for being Asian.

[@_Ted88]

Same here sir

[@eclpism]

@@NujabesFan66 Yeah, some USA people even brainwashed me when I was 12 years old. 😟

[@tomasolsson6493]

They just have to go back

[@Suite_annamite]

*In France and in the former USSR, Asian men are not hated* like they are in English-speaking countries. And there are always some women from those places - of any racial background - who are attracted to or are willing to give Asian guys a shot.

[@Suite_annamite]

Of course, which is why Asians are seen as "normal" over thereI I have relatives are originally from Vietnam, but live in Krasnoyarsk in Siberia, and they get treated as normal Russians.

[@monbjra]

Ya can confirm this. My brother and his frens studied in Germany then Holland(I think). Much better there than when I was in US. US and English speaking countries sucks for asian men as American media is quite dominant there. Alas negative stereotype is strong in those parts.

[@MrParlam]

Le Huy-Anh I agree viets are treated pretty well, but when it comes to dating Vietnamese men profoundly lose

[@seriouslythough4396]

I don’t think that’s true in America anymore. Yes I think that character in Sixteen Candles movie really was unfair to asian men in America but there are plenty of English speaking women who find Asian men extremely attractive. Times are changing quickly, and please don’t call me a Koreaboo so irritating. I’ve always liked Asian guys however I will say that I think k dramas are helpful in changing stereotypes. If watching K dramas makes you a koreaboo than why doesn’t watching Hollywood films make you an americaboo? My main point is, thanks to new sources of representation of Asians things are changing quickly in the US for Asian men.

[@goodbad-boy]

doubt

[@irememberla6460]

So nice to meet you last year! Lovely chatting with you

[@6claws]

I'm obsessed with you, no clue how anyone sees Asian men as anything other than the most handsome men on the planet!

[@CarmenElRose]

My husband is Asian and he's so amazing. I'm Polish. I'm very much into Asian guys. They're great men.

[@tomasolsson6493]

Traitor

[@luv2cheer65]

I wish there were more asian american men who have realized this. As an asian american female, I'm having difficulty finding any asian american men who aren't superficial and appreciate their heritage as much as they appreciate being american.

[@tomasolsson6493]

Go back

[@ngjinbing1631]

Great speech Kevin , we will be supporting you all the way...Stay safe and god blessed.

[@TheKaurajuoma]

Thanks for bringing up this issue. It seems like no one speaks about this. I am adopted from the Philippines and I can relate very much. Honestly I find it quite hard to watch videos on this topic because doing this I have to admit that "I am different" but at the same time how can you tackle the issues if you do not acknowledge them. As I have grown older I have become proud of my Asian heritage, I found a interest in Asian culture and I have dated and want to date more Asian girls. You are very brave who speaks out! I wish I had more real life friends who I could talk to this about and that can relate to it. Honestly all other races are almost clueless about this issue.

[@tairanwang6119]

bro. that's really, I think the only thing that we can do is to improve ourselves. psychologically and physically. Be you self, also be who you are.

[@rosadelmaril8182]

Thank you for sharing Kevin

[@oaksuwanphanich7444]

I don’t know what you’re talking about~ You are attractive and I think beauty comes in all forms. Don’t let the other people’s ignorance destroy you. I was the only asian in my class...when I was in Atlanta walking into this building.. this guy calls me Jackie Chan ~ so typical. Thank you for sharing your inner struggles.

[@SeanTheSnipa]

Thanks so much for sharing your story Kevin! I'm half Korean, and half White, and your experience really touched home for me. My parents divorced when I was very young, so I grew up with my mom, and step-dad (both Caucasian) in a mostly white community. I assimilated with the white students while in public school, since there was just a lack of diversity in general. Fast forward to college, and beyond, dating women has been such a troublesome grind. White women usually ignore me, since I don't fit the stereotypical white male ideal, and many Asian women pass as well, because I don't share the same cultural experiences, or language as them. I'm sort of stuck in limbo, where I don't appeal to either party. I've started focusing more on myself, and working on improving my career, health, fitness goals, hobbies, etc. In the end it's most important that I love myself for who I am. There's just that nagging voice in the back of mind saying, "Because you're Asian, you're at a dating disadvantage. You don't belong. Give up." I know that's not true, but this mental barrier can be rather demotivating, while trying to stay strong. I'm digressing, but I think you're a really good role model for young Asian-American males like me.

[@beatrizzorn]

you go, sean. good luck in your self-fulfilling journey :)

[@deltafour1226]

That voice is true. It's called reality. But live in your dreamworld of hope as long as you can. It's safer there sweet boy.

[@TI-oz7rg]

@@deltafour1226 Reality is what you make of it

[@tomasolsson6493]

Go back

[@phatape2100]

Much respect Kevin for speaking out!

[@water9baby972]

May God bless you and your family. KZbin can really connect us all, being able to get insight into the feelings of people from different races and cultures.

[@lisacoleman5711]

Thank you Kevin for your story!! It really helped me !! 🥰

[@jb3344]

Thank you for being vulnerable and inspiring.

[@JoeBuck207]

I'm a asian man and im no dork I'm muscular and i walk with confidence.

[@deltafour1226]

Good boy.

[@Stevaniezeal]

Because all humans are the same

[@tomasolsson6493]

Go back

[@elizabethpark3812]

Be limitless ... don’t let others define you with THEIR limitations

[@interiorsretailfacts]

Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate totally relate. So proud of you man!

[@zako8424]

Step one to understanding yourself is to know your Origins

[@williamchin5904]

Kevin, thank you for this speech. I am not exactly an asian adopted by white parents but I have lived the "in-the-middle" demographic experience for 30 years. I consider myself a cultural pioneer, my mother father and I are a first generation of demographical pioneers which was kind of our "proud struggle". We were pioneers for being "Canadian-Malay-Chinese-TeoChew-Hakka-cultured" and also ethnically "Teochew-Hakka-Chinese". It is a mouthful I know. I feel you brother, keep the honourable fight going! We are proud pioneers! In life we ARE proud!, When the curtain fades, we shall have more pride and gratification than these sheep who follow the "curb"! We are ahead of the "curb"! Best of Luck!

[@zuozhen4758]

Hey! You got muscles now. Ain’t nobody gonna bully you now. You took the Charles Atlas muscle building course and it worked!

[@kayingthao5072]

This is so helpful, thanks Kevin. A lot of what you say resonate with me too as an Asian women.

[@KM-cs1dy]

Media have a lot to deal with the issue. I can see since K pop the younger generation slowly changing their mine about asian men. Representation matters.

[@binjamins3562]

Very nice talk, Kevin, as a first generation immigrant, I don't have these struggling, of course I have other struggling to grow my career and support family. However, my kids born here and grow up here may meet the same situation as what you went through. As a parent, I try my best to raise them, wish they are confident, self respect, accept who they are when they grow up. We Asia culture has lots of values that are precious. We are more family oriented, believe that education is important, etc. We focus on growing our culture and value to be an important part of the American culture, make it more diverse. I hope that my kids grow up to face a better world. Again, thank you for standing out to talk.

[@SeBaStiAN01Niceboy]

Who's here after Bling Empire?

[@paulmaking1980]

I understood this guy! I'm a Asian guy myself living in a Western society.

[@tomasolsson6493]

Go back

[@李珊-f2r]

I really like Asian men!!!!

[@tenzinyeshe7060]

Ive seen your comment in other videos too.

[@bobbazoid909]

Times I traveled outside the U.S I noticed that I felt American... Kevin's massage I relate... growing up i had manny close friends I was apart of the in clowd" I felt a brotherhood with my friends. At 39 the boys I called friends now there kids call tio.. But i always been longing to connect with with my ppl. I been with 2 Asian women so far, and married both... at my lowest that question alway pop's up I ask myself if there's someone and somewhere for me.

[@dcinreallife905]

i'm with you kevin you hit every point of the struggle

[@cybermek]

If only he became popular 10 years ago, I would have felt great about living as a Filipino man, an Asian man living in the United States.

[@tomasolsson6493]

Go back

[@cybermek]

@@tomasolsson6493 go back where? I don't understand your statement, Sir.

[@victoriaalliaud7538]

Thank you, Kevin. This is way better than bling empire

[@supermarin369]

I've been struggling with being asian while everyone admires white and I see this,, thank you. I have to stop discriminating myself and start being my best version :) Hopefully I can be a lot of good to the society

[@Proud3579]

I’m proud of him

[@yominiman123]

Love you bro! Never stop fighting!

[@zako8424]

Love the Silent inbetween

[@christophercolumbus9172]

Thanks Kevin for telling all of this, I was unfortunately just realized I've been putting myself in a wrong situation many times. Trying to blend in is just hurt so bad when people around didn't even see you there or even worse they just didn't count you in for almost anything. I thought it is nice to be always nice, until I realized it doesn't matter because they didn't see it as something they should be grateful for, or even if there is people showing interest in me it just because they have something they want to get from me. At some point I am feeling like I wanted to be treated as white so much that make me spent so many time, money and energy in trying to be part of them, but of course I will never be.

[@QueenieKoopa]

I've heard similar stuff like this from the asian men in my life for years. I'm glad there's more media representation finally, but U hope more asian guys continue to speak out. I think media can really change that as Pierre XO pointed out in his video on asian racism

[@schlattcoin2797]

The dark side of society is how it puts Asian men down in the dirt they try so hard to make make them depressed drugged and miserable, I truly hope no one ever goes through this the sad thing is i see the same thing in school the Asian kids are depressed and broken, we’re better than that.

[@Tommyttm]

I started to look up to Kevin kreider cause of this 😎👆💪🏽Wise & inspired

[@johnortiz6129]

11:53 difference between blaming others and holding people accountable

[@natalieseeto3467]

I am Asian brought up in a western culture. All I can say is that I prefer Asian men anytime 😊

[@paulmaking1980]

Very good my Asian sister! I prefer & loyal to my Asian sisters over White girls! 👍

[@tomasolsson6493]

Go back

[@paultrinidad2797]

Thank you Kevin for your inspiring story. We share similar experiences.

[@qkchen57]

Very powerful speech!

[@Alex-cf7vp]

Good speech Kevin

[@nastang87xx]

Of course this is one of the least viewed videos on TEDx Talks. Speaks volumes.

[@tenzinyeshe7060]

Most of the views are probably from us asian dudes 🤫

[@Kconary1]

Hey Kevin. My background and experience is very similar to your story. My last name is Conary. I also supported your other project on Kick Starter. Thanks for sharing your story and being a trailblazer.

[@Muswell]

I'm here after Traitors. It's so sad that he experienced so many decades of all that nonsense. I'm pleased he's come through it & wish him lots of success. (Bit of a man-crush)

[@Marsel_G.]

Iam from Russia, but I'm asian looking. When I studied at school, the other kids taunted me regurlarly - "chinese", "jackie chan", "bruce lee" etc. That was hurt, and I even cried sometimes. And of course, girls didn't flirt with me Now Im 30. And I still have сomplexes about my physical appearance. Sometimes I think about plastic surgery, but then I realize that if i do surgery it will be my weakness- I would try to change myself in order to make myselfa agreeable by white people.

[@kagar3465]

Are you Kazakh?

[@tomasolsson6493]

Go back

[@BigGeno]

Wow he’s speaking the truth!

[@xtzyshuadog]

*This is heavy, but it's a step forward. The first step I've seen since John Cho, but certainly not since Quasimodo or Ken Jeong. Keep going.*

[@ericlind6581]

Great talk. You should hear my story...it’s unlike anything you’ve encountered.

[@wshwzrd052]

BLING BLING BLING!

[@phoeurnphally7965]

Thanks for sharing.

[@joycewang8983]

You would be SUPER popular in any Asian countries.

[@schu9648]

He is so good looking