Why we need to change the way young men think about consent | Nathaniel Cole | TEDxLondonWomen

[@carolinarubi7829]

This should be something talked about in all schools. From being very young and little, even though it may be an uncomfortable topic. It should be worded in a way where it makes sense to that age range. The most traumatic experiences happen so young, so many countless stories. 💔 They had no idea what was happening, but for them to be aware at such a young age. Would help so much. 🥺

[@mikenorton7262]

That ability to have a conversation afterwards is VERY difficult. I've heard of women complain about men who 'cry' too much. I really appreciate that he is having boys breakdown how they feel and understand why they are angry/frustrated/embarrassed. Women has to be able to accept an empathic person vs the social paradigm of a worthy man is strong/fit/rich. Both sexes have a persona they expect in life - across the spectrum - and there has be learning on both sides to have that healthy conversation he refers to. Great conversation here.

[@XxxX-wx3er]

Women don’t have to do anything. Men have to stop living their lives based on how many women they’ll get.

[@lilacsmoon9067]

im glad boys have someone like him to look up to!

[@PAIP_Studio]

He speaks lies like most of you people... Consent does not exist in nature...It does not exist in any species. It goes against nature. There is no consent when a bee fertilizes a flower, there is no consent when a ram jumps on a sheep, or a bull jumps on a cow, nor in dogs, cats or fish. The happiest couples that ever existed came from arranged marriages.

[@vulxh]

@@PAIP_Studio lies. The nature part is true because animals arent like humans, but arranged marriages are FAR from the happiest. U cant chose who u want to marry and what you have in common with them

[@myname-mz3lo]

too bad everyone is teaching consent to men and just assuming that women already know . but in the end noone ends up teaching women about consent

[@lilacsmoon9067]

@@myname-mz3lo ur right, it's important for women to know too :)

[@luisemarthahelenesch6626]

The work and all he does sounds really great and all, but can I just focus on his voice for a second just so calm and soothing and just ah beautiful

[@Angel-ns4km]

Videos like this need to be shown in the middle/freshman transition of male students.

[@bebejolie8187]

This is so valuable. Thank you so much for your work! All the movements we have on a very meta level can pave the way, but for them to take a lasting effect instead of turning into an afterthought, people need to discuss these things at length with each other, especially in the demographic where the effects are most desired. Thank you so much for doing that actual work and taking the development to the next and much awaited level.

[@alinakrem6089]

Why is this so underrated!!!!

[@FlashKillsFTW]

That man box is such a sad reality of our world. If we didn't encourage this type of male as early as school, we could make such a big difference in the world.

[@lita-styles]

excellent talk, please have this man and his workshop in all schools.

[@hawwazahira1674]

This is such a great video, Thank you. You have made it very simple but extremely important messages for many young men.

[@emmawarren6531]

Excellent and important work explained in a fantastic talk

[@heatherneely9338]

Thank you. I'm glad you do what you do and you are the man you are. This man she definitely work with Laura Bates, she goes into schools as well. And Justin Baldoni is also a great person for this work.

[@zubieM]

Such an important subject- great work!!

[@JasmineTribeX]

Your work fills me with hope. Thank you Nathaniel and the Good Lad Initiative!

[@RamessesIX]

Amazing use of ethical logic to bring "me, first" back to "me, too".

[@lesezeichen1603]

Thank you a lot for your work. Much more needed!!

[@sharonmelter7232]

THANK YOU. I need the same talk in my school.

[@zubieM]

Show them this video!

[@myname-mz3lo]

young women need to learn consent .... why we only targetting men ? its not because we were taught to keep quiet more that we dont get assaulted too .

[@rachelcastillo9035]

All people should learn about consent. This is just addressing one dynamic.

[@kellymurray3467]

I am glad and grateful that he is doing this work AND I wonder if he talks to boys about being accountable, for example, when they hear another boy bragging about exploits, does he speak up about consent,or say, “hey, that’s not cool.”?

[@tdesq.2463]

That's powerful force for good. Peer pressure to do what is right. It's absolutely necessary. I like how you think!

[@samanthamansi1184]

Okay I wish I learnt this at school. I’m 37 n learning consent!

[@NaNa-re3wc]

I feel you! I’m 24 and this stuff was never taught to me, it’s sad. I know the lack of education concerning this topic has lead to trauma for lots of young people, especially women. I’m glad it is becoming more prevalent.

[@khutsobill8908]

I wish someone taught me this sooner

[@alisiademi]

The work he's doing is brilliant but as a woman the mere thought of having to be taught that it isn't all about me and other people's bodies aren't just there to give me what I want is completely foreign and unrelatable. How have we taught boys to be so damn selfish and entitled?

[@waltervondervogelweide4638]

Many boys aren't selfish and entitled. People usually tend to see more bad things rather than good.

[@OurgasmComrade]

Cultural conditioning. Boys are born with the high capacity for empathy just as any other gender but our society is sick with toxicity and narcissistic ideals that reinforce boys' beliefs and behaviours as we age. As a 30 year old cis white male, I look at my teen years and twenties with sadness and regrets, but am grateful I learned a different way of thinking and being because I do not want to become part of the machines that are destroying our society.

[@scotthill6632]

I feel what you are saying but it needs to be in a different way, the man box specifically is teaching boys to be selfish and entitled, don't bring we into this because this is a healthy masculinity subject we need to talk about. I really don't think its any husband teaching masculinity in a wrong way or a wife encouraging it, I think of it as not their fault but beings who have been pushed down upon from teachings above them. We don't teach boys to act more "feminine" per say, but to have a general base level of respect and responsibility for humanity. I also don't think we should teach women to be feminine because that hurts young girls and young boys, the base approach should be to teach humanity as a whole, not by the thing between your legs.

[@celestegarcia923]

It’s quite sad. We socialize them to be entitled. I’m not sure why and where it started.

[@coachk7129]

Also you have to program your mind. In order to be mentally strong, you have to program your mind, morning, noon, day and night. I know what to expect because of my programming. Once you program it and continue to do it, it become habit. We have to train our mind for success.

[@michaelgaming5223]

what if there both drunk

[@dominique3769]

He literally answers this question in the video??

[@roflcopter645]

@@dominique3769 no he doesn't.

[@nolan1432]

@@dominique3769 what's the answer for it

[@kamaprana2996]

Giving “consent” when drunk by either party is probably not considered consent

[@thehodgi1]

No, neither person has the capacity to consent if they are drunk

[@corih568]

Wonderful speech! Thank you Nathanial for doing this amazing work

[@demonprincess2045]

Stop taking advantage of intoxicated women!

[@oliverdordevic1577]

Beautiful 👌

[@coeusfn1721]

why does it say there is only 8k views on this video

[@niki3722]

Hannah sent me

[@tdesq.2463]

EXCELLENT!

[@DWuniverse-2010]

What am I doing wrong because am a yong man

[@fatemakhanpurwala1473]

sucks that the video has such less attention

[@ivoryonawilliams7442]

Phenomenal

[@midragga]

A step by step instruction of how to be a beta male

[@kieranpearson]

When you understand consent, you will necessarily have to do away with your belief in the need of people acting non- consensually called government. PS If drunk people can't give consent because they are impaired, then why are held responsible for drunk driving?

[@prestonduncan2752]

true

[@AncyNusaifa]

They shouldn't drive when they are drunk. That's simple

[@kieranpearson]

@@AncyNusaifa but they're impaired. Do you not understand the premise? Basically in the video it seems that what's being said is you're not responsible for your actions if you're impaired but then people that are impaired are held responsible for their actions when it comes to drunk driving.

[@elliefuller3667]

@@kieranpearson There’s a big difference between being molested by someone because you’re mentally impaired and drunk driving. With drunk driving, you can make a plan before getting drunk to avoid driving while under the influence of alcohol. With consent, even if you make a plan prior to getting drunk, you can’t possibly predict all the decisions others will make. Even if you don’t want to give consent, someone can take advantage of you because you’re mentally impaired. If you just arranged for one of your friends to stay sober and drive you home after you’re drunk, you will not get a DUI. There’s always a good plan you can make to avoid that.

[@aarongeorge2702]

😂 funny video. Very silly

[@gollick]

God forbid young boys question facts and figures at school ...

[@yungvipe7227]

8 ball

[@wednesday8939]

9:14 Boy's "have regressed, they've questioned facts and figures more, they've questioned each story that's been put to them!" So by questioning rye narrative pushed by teachers somehow this guy thinks that's a bad thing! No that's a good thing!

[@myname-mz3lo]

the native americans dont consent on you using their land how you feel about that ?

[@Eternalwarpuppy]

If a woman goes through a break up weeks after a night together, did her man have consent for that night? Nope. This is the world that Me2 has created.

[@dominique3769]

Where did you get this information from?

[@Tam974eva]

@@dominique3769 right! I am confused by this comment. lmao.