Terrible Knives LIVE (Jan 24, 2020): A Tasting Menu of Terriblity

Today, we've got a tasting menu of terriblity, one of the most terrifying viewer gifts I've ever gotten: A sequence of truly awful (?) knives, each in brown envelopes, from my buddies Craig and Amy. Wish me luck.

[@Flannagan.n1]

Nick saying “let’s see if it’ll pass the out the window yeet test” is the best line I’ve heard in a while.

[@legokiller3579]

Time code. Time code now.

[@maxmullert]

@@legokiller3579 32:04

[@skyking9248]

Legit just opened the comments to post this lol 1 year late 🙄 Lol Also 36:30 - realized it’s an M-Sport BMW logo rip-off

[@georgelewis9127]

When can we expect to see the disassembly video for all these knives?

[@propyro85]

Your differentiation between the staff of asclepius and the caducius makes my paramedic heart happy.

[@StarDarkAshes]

“Ladies choice “ LOL. I was in tears laughing

[@jameswilson8907]

Same, I couldn't handle it. Especially when the knife didn't even completely open 😂😂

[@castingcornbread4166]

I was in tears literally

[@gregoryjorgensen4595]

I almost fell off the couch, wicked pisser

[@realthrustgaming4086]

Casting Cornbread lmmaipps

[@joshuastauter107]

"LOL epidemics, that joke's gonna age poorly" -Jan 24, 2020

[@TheGeekiestGuy]

I popped into the comments to leave the same exact words. Good on you. 🤙🏾 😆

[@vladimirmaslarov1854]

@@TheGeekiestGuy 7

[@blunt8085]

@@vladimirmaslarov1854 8

[@StarDarkAshes]

First two hour plus knife video I’ve ever seen that I didn’t walk away lusting after something new.

[@notgray88]

I kinda want the bomb knife just for the lolz. I have a big airplane model collection abd it would go perfectly displayed next to a bomber.

[@TheMrWillje]

"this is not the first time we've ever had a pocket knife that has a "I shot this several times with a rifle" theme" Oh god, Nick, what have we done to you

[@gunjesus7110]

Did he say artistic or autistic touch

[@elimcewen1607]

Artistic

[@gunjesus7110]

Oh thanks

[@theskepticalnegativist1004]

Lets be serious, you are going to test "the bomb" as a lawn dart... Its going to happen, your inner child is to strong. 😎

[@howard2501]

18:20 "That joke's gonna age poorly", oh if only you knew Nick!

[@brose04008]

When I saw the grinds on that Master knife, I questioned whether I would ever feel joy again.

[@shuriken2505]

you won't.

[@jakefromstatefarm1405]

Under-rated

[@reeverfalls2069]

No...you’ll forever wander this world in the hopes that you may find happiness and solace. And you’ll soon realize that after seeing these blades, your view on the world will become twisted. A skewed. At the thought of seeing such poorly made blades. You’ll start to question your sanity. Your reason for living.

[@donjohnson5424]

"I'm loving the pivot skull." Might be my favorite quote so far. Or "Gear isn't exclusive, but sometimes it seems like bad tastes might be."

[@thomash4578]

As a former EOD Tech, I would buy that bomb knife, for display

[@christianoman68]

If I got mugged by one of these I think I'd get stabbed for laughing. I'd also probably be pretty safe after the attack.

[@censusgary]

Not necessarily. It takes more strength to shove in a dull knife than a sharp one, but the dull knife leaves a bigger and more ragged hole.

[@jurilamprecht3643]

@@censusgary r/woooosch

[@kunwuknivesofficial]

That sign on a blade actually says "made in China" brilliant move by the way as to avoid any doubt in case someone thinks it was made in Liechtenstein. There are cues...

[@bruceleroy8063]

Golden Colorado USA Earth

[@StarDarkAshes]

I have to admit that every time Nick was cutting open the wrapping to these boxes I fast forwarded because I knew it was going to take forever.

[@westleyarcher2815]

You probably dont care at all but does anyone know of a method to log back into an instagram account?? I stupidly forgot the password. I appreciate any assistance you can give me.

[@lianvan296]

@Westley Archer Instablaster =)

[@westleyarcher2815]

@Lian Van Thanks so much for your reply. I got to the site on google and im in the hacking process atm. Looks like it's gonna take a while so I will reply here later with my results.

[@westleyarcher2815]

@Lian Van It did the trick and I now got access to my account again. Im so happy:D Thank you so much, you really help me out :D

[@lianvan296]

@Westley Archer You are welcome =)

[@Mister_Phafanapolis]

This has inspired me. I am going to the worst gas station in the worst part of town (my neighborhood) and buying a folding knife.

[@j.w3381]

Phafanapolis pics or it didn’t happen

[@J85909266]

That handcuff, Ladies Choice knife is hall of fame bad. I laughed so hard.

[@censusgary]

Which lady chose it?

[@Alexander210]

I have never laughed so hard in my entire knife! And I'm clinically depressed! Thank you for this! Thank you x1000!! 😂😂😂

[@cowpow16]

It makes me so happy watching nick suffer through this

[@buckaroobunnyslippers]

My fear after enjoying so many of these terrible knife segments, is that I'm going to walk into a gas station one day and get far too excited about seeing one of these "classics" behind the cash. Like "Dear god, it's the Lady's Choice Handcuffs! Yes! How much is that and do you have anything worse?!"

[@drameday]

One of the funniest videos I’ve watched in a long time. These are some of the worst knives I’ve ever seen.

[@eltipobigotudo2162]

I live for the three seconds of silence and subsequent wheezing when Nick finds something truly, truly terrible.

[@Orochi_001]

“Dry” is my favorite kind of “heave of excellence.”

[@StarDarkAshes]

At least the Darkside blades has an integral beard comb. And it has gears reminiscent of fine Swiss watch technology. When I saw that I knew it would have to be a good knife that was well engineered

[@StarDarkAshes]

1:36:42 First knife I’ve ever seen with a scale pattern using the Knife Centers logo!

[@ADHR26]

Thats like a whole $50 worth of knives there.

[@soulzzplaysgames]

At maximun I'd say 😁

[@iamtoast3397]

It's not a skin disease, it's a skin patina.

[@richardphysician5640]

Nick, first time viewer here. You're frickin' hilarious, subbed.

[@unclecow]

great steam Nick greatest line ever "we have an mt-tech and of course, m-tech is good for a ah a situation

[@Rivixwow]

holy hell i owned the feather knife when i was a kid 16 years ago.

[@ossisuomalainen]

I'm so sorry

[@DavePotokar]

"Dry heave of excellence". 🤣

[@StarDarkAshes]

If your man ever pulls out handcuff themed knives on your first date he is definitely going to be your choice and if he asks you to marry him you should choose yes. It’s your choice ladies and if a man pulls these handcuff themed knives out you better marry him that’s all I’m saying

[@calh109]

I feel like I've just watched a man descend into madness

[@NickShabazz]

“Descend” implies I wasn’t there already

[@Baby4HeadAutographer]

The bomb knife would be cool if it wasn't a knife.

[@pharmagator]

Agreed

[@StarDarkAshes]

I’ll pay you 10 dollars for the tie dye knife. Unless the link is in the description

[@speedwolf5212]

Saw the title and thought this was gonna be a video on the new ZT knives.

[@deadpoollee9497]

These are the designs zt turn down

[@jeremyburris4890]

Haha I kinda want that little bomb knife.

[@jacksonwillis8683]

These knives truely were a caravan of garbage... Great video Nick, keep it up.

[@finnmcool2]

I'm imagining someone in rural China. They work really hard and put themselves through trade school and become a machinist. Then they end up getting a job making these knives. They must be lubricated with tears of regret.

[@snapdragon3446]

My husband told me I had to watch this because my knife was in it. I have the "extremely sharp" skull knife, lol! My personal favorite was when he mentioned going on a first date with someone with this knife and leaving immediately. Mine is green because with the skulls it reminds me of Harry Potter, which is why I chose this one, lol! It's my purse knife 🔪🔪

[@the_trash_mane5875]

Nick saying "YEET" and being aware on some up to date memes give me life. Imagining probably a man in his 40s yelling YEET as he yeets a gas station knife across a room that may have about 10 grand of knives in it is great

[@Mister_Phafanapolis]

Nick is on Reddit. He's cool, hip and with-it.

[@the_trash_mane5875]

@@Mister_Phafanapolis Where is he active mostly? I should have encountered him there already

[@Mister_Phafanapolis]

@@the_trash_mane5875 Under the name u/NickShabazz he posts mostly in r/knifeclub where he is the mod.

[@the_trash_mane5875]

@@Mister_Phafanapolis Hell Yeah

[@YanDoroshenko]

That's one way to do an advent calendar.

[@censusgary]

Advent of the Antichrist?

[@StarDarkAshes]

1:03:24 looks like dragonscale disease from Game of Thrones

[@photonmixer]

We've seen that knife before - kzbin.info/www/bejne/fGW5eWOLqtGMeLs Apr 5, 2018

[@Pyewack3t]

I could have watched a film with the wife but I decided to watch a video of the contents of a Blackpool gift shop. The creativity of the horrendous knows no bounds.

[@finnmcool2]

Once the shock of seeing 2 hours of "knives" being defeated by craft paper had subsided I realized it is time for a Shabazz rant about the place of the grotesque in the world of art.

[@FearsomeWarrior]

I watched this when it came out and ran into it again. I believe it to be one of the finest videos on KZbin. Knife or non-knife folks could derive a large amount of joy from this bounty. The guys who sent that box in are magnificent people.

[@StarDarkAshes]

The geometric perfection knife actually might not be that bad for self-defense because it is a little bit Stabby and if you hit the eyes just write it may cut them and make your attacker want to runaway and I know how to spell right but the voice to text spelled it WRITE. I’m not as dumb as these knife makers

[@rcjd7834]

I want footage of an “out the window yeet test” with these knives now.... maybe send them to super steel Steve and have him perform this test?

[@StarDarkAshes]

His finger nail can open some of those packages better than those dumbass knives

[@DieYuppieScum91]

*sees a terrible knives Live posted while I was at work today* "oh nice, something to relax on a Friday night in" *sees that it's 2 hours and 17 minutes long* "oh, this is gonna be good." *orders a pizza and prepares for the cavalcade of crap*

[@Calf_Kicker]

Love the use of "cavalcade", buddy.

[@terwa2120]

52:05 i dont know about America but in Canada if you say "indian" thats kinda racist

[@Ondal1]

For all those 16 knives, just think about somewhere in the world, a person has bought one of those. Not only that but said person will be walking around with that knife in the pocket, being rather happy about having that knife, maybe even showing it to friends to impress them with the design. There's people like this out there! Btw. don't thing Craig and Amy likes you very much, as they're trying to kill you either from laughter, anger or simply giving you cancer.

[@CNYKnifeNerd]

Every single time the topic of pocket knives comes up in a discussion with coworkers, and i happen to mention that im a collector, they inevitably pull out a knife like those in the video and are as proud as can be to own it. Then, after they put away their rainbow, tip down karambit, ill show them my norseman, or razel or tashi custom and these self proclaimed knife collectors see an inferior knife than what they just showed me. That being said, id take 100 of them in the community over 1 "S30V isnt good enough for a $150 production knife" collector.

[@Ondal1]

@@CNYKnifeNerd yes, knife snopes aren't really my kind of person either. On the other hand the "Ha, you're stupid spending $100 on a knife, when you could have this [terrible knife]", they don't really inspire me either :)

[@StarDarkAshes]

Thanks for mentioning my hero, Jerry Garcia.

[@StarDarkAshes]

I did also notice that what’s awesome about the Darkside blades knife is that the beard comb can also be used as a flat head screwdriver in some circumstances or even as a utility for bending steel that hasn’t been hardened or aluminum. You could put the edge of the steel or the aluminum in between the flat head screwdriver‘s and bend it up and down and if the knife itself doesn’t bend first then you can actually use the knife to bend stuff in your workshop. It just doesn’t get much better

[@davidbidwell8288]

Could you kindly provide links for purchase? .......:)

[@JettyLife23]

I have so much anxiety watching Nick cut with the dull knives. I always think he's going to stab himself.

[@StarDarkAshes]

If I was a fireman I would certainly want the one with the fireman logo on it. Obviously this one would be able to help cut people out of burning cars super fast since it has the logo on it.

[@19Bearsfansince79]

Better grab your Hinderer 😊

[@kevinjayne1872]

the virus joke is still VERRY relevant 😬

[@StarDarkAshes]

Unbox Therapy ain’t got nothing on this video

[@alvarezgilbert01]

I like how all these knives are from Big 5

[@jhipp6009]

And here I am, eating reheated Burger King french fries watching this in quarantine. SMH

[@RobBernhard]

Nick, I really want to see a disassembly/clean-up/sharpening video for one of these where you turn turn it into the best knife you can possibly make it and yet it's still terrible. I'm thinking Ladies Choice but maybe that would drive you over the edge...

[@StarDarkAshes]

One other note about the Darkside blades knife is that it has a really convenient place to put your first finger when you’re doing some fun cutting tasks. So that instead of having a thumb ramp or some jumping on the top you can just put your finger in that Caverness beautiful “choil” on the top

[@StarDarkAshes]

Feather knife looks like a Persian ZT. (sort of)

[@thegreasersoutdoors]

This was so thoroughly enjoyable. You're a very entertaining presenter Nick.

[@WeightedFedora]

Good call on the cornavirus joke.

[@fredf9562]

Nick, as a recent subscriber I can honestly say I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. Even though those crummy knives gave you plenty of inspiration your comedic delivery was outstanding. If the major networks ever want late night show reviewing gear I would nominate you and give the Late Show and the Tonight Show a run for their money. How about “Celebrities and their EDC”?

[@hootenknives153]

the batman knife is my new favorite peice of Bat poop. it's so bad its actually good in a comical way

[@StarDarkAshes]

1:40:06 this knife is designed to stab into an eye socket. When you retract the blade the eyeball comes out in between the blades

[@ALF3Y]

Can’t tell if this is a joke

[@ldobehardcore]

Nick the bitrate on this video is atrocious. I don't mean to be elitist, but even at 720p on KZbin after the fact the quality is just bad. There is a lot of noise and blocking. Is there any way you could record this and then upload it simultaneously? Or maybe just have better bandwidth? I'm sorry I enjoy your videos a lot and don't mean to be mean, but the level of quality here is affecting my ability to even assess these crap knives. This is what it looks like when you hold the knife still for a few seconds: i.imgur.com/v9GDk8W.png

[@thomash4578]

Video was pretty bad on my tablet also

[@CyclopsRevolution]

Craig and Amy, I tip my hat to both of you.

[@StarDarkAshes]

I wonder if the Firemans knife had to license the Veff serrations from CRKT

[@georgelewis9127]

Mack Schmidt = McSchidt ?

[@joshuamoses1631]

But will it keel, yes.

[@xmh3fx]

The H.P. Lovecraft Part killed me 😂😂😂

[@BDSwaim]

The freaking ladies choice 😂😂😂 this is what kpop is doing to the world.

[@reeverfalls2069]

As a person with a beard (which automatically makes me an expert), I approve of the dark side blade....as a beard comb.

[@knifelife7777]

Bro this was just freakin hilarious

[@deadpoollee9497]

Wow! To be honest i like the bomb one!

[@AmyJoBell]

same

[@jerrydonquixote5927]

To me those holding Cleaver knives are the dumbest damn fad. I refuse to buy one or review one I'll be glad when they stop wasting their time making those dumb damn knives and put the energy into making decent knives that serve a purpose! Nice review Nick

[@StarDarkAshes]

1:16:09 Almost as good as the Artisan Cutlery kinetic tool knife

[@nativewildman9335]

The feather knife has 2 locks the thing you call a flipper is a finger lock . I seen one before that a blacksmith made so it was a lot better.

[@StarDarkAshes]

1:25:47 I am glad to see they made some holes for weight reduction

[@danielroberts5945]

Years late i am, auto played and sparked my interest. Yes, I watched the video in its entirety... Rare that I've liked watching bat shit bad so oddly enjoyable! Thx Nick for keeping my interest with complete and total Adam ShiTf(sorry for the Cali politicular name drop... The quality of material and craftsmanShiTf you brought us sucked, but we watched and enjoyed nevertheless, reminded me of what this current administration is selling us! Particularly bad though in Comifornia! like the Never Ending Story I cant help but wonder will Pelosi live forever? I bet Shes the only Woman thats seen more knives than you? thx again Nick! Two thumbs way up lol....

[@mememe5231]

I’m glad you started laughing! I was rolling when you flip open the Mac knife.😂 The edit is to add. Ladies choice! LMAO! Almost peed my pants 🤣

[@dstdrummer]

On a side not. That complete mess from The Dark Side Blades is described on eBay as follows. “This Dark Side Blades Karambit offers a sweet profile, distinctive finger ring and gracefully curved talon-like blade. All in a convenient, spring assisted folding, pocket-friendly package.” 🤦🏼‍♂️

[@karljohnson4008]

I was okay till I got to Nick's 'Dry Heave of Excellence' review comment at 1'12"30'''. Thank you for keeping me fully entertained while eating my dinner. And yes, I almost heaved while eating my dinner bc the quality of these knives was so excellent. EXCELLENT!

[@bencolignon3276]

Ouch! What a bunch of shitty blades. Reminds me the "prices" you could win at the fancy fair...We have a expression around here(Belgium) to say "I'm ready", "J'ai ma bite et mon couteau". Litteraly "Got my dick and my knife"... With those "products"...? Trust your genitals...

[@charliebowen5071]

Isn’t it funny the knife world.... the bullet hole knife was basically a Fischer battle done wrong .. make the bring a bit better and they go thousands.......

[@jseden]

Why do all of these things have glass breakers? Hell I’m a glass blower and I’ve never needed one.. scoring knives are different. Yea I get it if you’re a firefighter but they wouldn’t carry such a pos. Remember like 20 years ago when everyone was buying those standalone glass breakers.. like for when you crash your car into a lake? Or something.. I image someone picking one of these up at the flea market and imagining themselves seeing a car crash into a lake.. thankfully they’ve got their pos knife so they dive in, freedive down like 40’, they see that mother and baby screaming for help (or maybe they’re already unconscious?), smash that glass (normally they’d use their fist!), slash through those seatbelts and child restraints, take the mother under one arm, baby under the other, and swim to the surface where the president is waiting to give them a Medal of Honor.

[@redriver6541]

Please will someone tell me why centering matters.....if the knife functions properly and locks up tightly? I've had several older Kershaw Blackouts that weren't centered but other than that functioned flawlessly and gavee years of use until I lost them...gave them away......or moved on to a Blur.....or Endura......or whatever.

[@drpoppyseed]

What knife looks like terribleknife(tm), but is actually decent?

[@butre.]

boker mermaid comes to mind. it's still junk, but it's at least safe. all the junkiness is down to the half-baked concept rather than the construction or materials.

[@Troppa17]

Imagine your first knife was number 16... Yes, let that sink in for a while... Now you know what Lovecraft ment, I guess... And don't forget to wind up your RINGWORM on the night before spring break!

[@neilsnyder7915]

Only knives I consider terrible are the Stan Wilson non-flipper flipper, anything made by Pena and Hinderer, and anything made in the US. Bought 3 Mack Schmidt knives for a $1.00. Now thats what I call a good deal.

[@barrybogart5436]

I just noticed that you sound like Jean Shepard (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Shepherd)

[@jseden]

The thing is that cheap knives don't have to be bad.. I've owned a couple CRKs, am lucky enough to live near the Spyderco outlet in Boulder and typically buy a "nice" knife once or twice a year.. despite this, I've carried a $7 sanrenmu 710 for at least five years. It's a fantastic little knife that I wouldn't be too upset about losing. I can also hand to anyone without having to know exactly what they plan on doing with it.

[@Ralothael]

These are so bad, its hilarious. To be fair though, many of these are novelty knives. Not made to do much other than look cool, so Im not really surprised. You cant expect Schrade quality (which admittedly for their price point isnt bad. Ive had many), let alone something like Benchmade. EDIT: After finishing the video.... I thought I had seen terrible knives before, but that last one took the cake. My Benchmade ran and hid, convincing itself that this is a nightmare.

[@kevola5739]

Next time someone asks you why you spent so much on your knife, just show them this video and then flaunt your Rat 1. Just to clarify, was this from best to worst or worst to best. You decide and I'll take the opposing viewpoint. Please support your local Ugandan water filter manufacturer and buy quality knives.

[@georgelewis9127]

@17:52 - Verdigris, perhaps? (Just to show that they are "genuine brass" inserts!)

[@drengskap]

That Mack Schmidt shark knife is the most treasured possession of a 13-year-old boy somewhere ;-) And the tie-dye knife is what Jerry Garcia used to cut up his falafels with. Looking at the wondrous array of steaming crap you have there, I'm almost sorry you won't be able to get any of them here in the UK because of the flippers and spring assists.