VLOG: mom guilt, DIY sensory play, & seeing friends!

[@katieb8997]

Another Mom here: the Mom guilt doesn’t end, it just shifts as they get older. You are right in that this could easily be a bit of PP. Just know that by working and doing things that bring YOU joy, will show him how hard working his Mom is, how you are your own person (as well as “Theo’s Mom”) and will also help teach him independence. One day at a time and know you aren’t alone ❤️

[@crazyHaruLa]

Best advice I've ever heard. This is so important!

[@frizzylizzy2753]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@tayyabakhan4199]

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[@tayyabakhan4199]

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[@tayyabakhan4199]

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[@Kabcdefg]

Theo looking directly in the camera and super curious was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen

[@MissMarisa96]

Everyone can see how much you care about everything you do and how much you love Theo. Give yourself some grace and time to work out your routine day by day as it works for you. We'll always be here supporting you no matter what (I've been here since you were in college so you know I'm not going anywhere)! You're doing great Tess!

[@rainevinyaya756]

Same here! I‘ve been a subscriber since the very beginning and I‘ll support her no matter what ❤️

[@sofiaaaxo]

Hi Tess :) I’m taking a course in university rn which is called “the psychology of becoming parents” and I read something interesting the other day: there’s this psychologist called Daniel Stern and I don’t really agree with most of his theories BUT he said that he thinks that when you become a mother your brain forms a new personality (like basically a mom version of your old personality) but your old personality before you became a mom doesn’t disappear it just moves into the background. The “mom personality” comes with a lot of fears and guilt and struggles but Stern says that that is very normal. And when you’ve kinda gotten used to being a mom and your first kid gets older, the “mom personality” slowly stops having the upper hand and only comes back when your kid is in trouble or needs you etc. You obv never stop being a mom and caring & worrying about your kids but it just isn’t obstructing you from having some Me-time anymore. Idk I just thought it really makes a lot of sense and I’m not a mom so I can’t speak from experience but I just wanted to share what I learned

[@giovannaalvarez132]

Thank you for letting us know about your mom guilt. I have a toddler and still to this day I feel mom guilt if I go out without her or if I leave her at her grandmas to go out with my partner. It makes me feel better knowing that a lot of mothers go through it and I’m not alone. From the bottom of my heart thank you. I wish more mothers would talk about it.

[@inesbarros3847]

Leaving your baby to play alone without interference is allowing him to develop way more than by being there and distracting his attention. All literature around baby’s motor and intelectual development mentions this. No need to feel any guilt, they actually develop less when parents are always there to play with them. We have to trust their potential to do way more than we believe they can :)

[@brooklynjane5740]

This is why I've been an active follower of you for the last five years; you're honest, kind, and wonderful to watch. Thank you for sharing your life with us

[@kmserr]

17 months later, and oh how I relate to everything you said. Mom guilt sometimes takes over all of my emotions. Feeling guilty to not give him my undivided attention, feeling guilty for not working enough, or not able to keep up with the house, or guilty for wanting to lay down while he’s napping. Ugh girl I feel you. I’m still figuring it out everyday. I have to remind myself to take it day by day and enjoy every moment (even the hard ones) because time is so precious. Thank you for sharing. Sending you lots of love! You’re doing an amazing job!

[@vloy3080]

I really loved hearing more about you and your motherhood journey. A lot of people don’t realize how much of your identity does in fact change when you become a mother, and regardless of your profession, it will impact your work. Mom guilt doesn’t go away. I have 2 boys and one on the way and the mom guilt has shifted from “I want to be here constantly for him” to “how do I possibly bond with all of them and give them all my attention individually” lol 😂 Giving yourself some grace is the best thing you can do for yourself. And honestly your baby is so young - I’d say just go with the flow for now. His routine is going to continue to change until he’s about 2 years old. It’s going to be a little while before things start becoming more consistent. Enjoy yourself and this moment in your life and do what you can on KZbin when you can.

[@erinshannon1114]

I can relate to so much of this. I almost akin mom guilt to grief. It never fully goes away, but you learn to live with it.

[@redvelvetsprinkles]

Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest with us about your mom guilt. I’m not at that stage of life yet but that balance between working and being a mom is something I think a lot about for my future me and family.

[@jade_maus_]

I know you guys are self employed, but I try to remember the 40 hour work week was designed in such a way that one partner could dedicate most of their day to work so the other could devote their time to children and the home. It's not our world anymore, the guilt means you are full of love and appreciation for your child and the life you put on this earth. It's a crazy time! There's really no answer and I appreciate your transparency!

[@TheMaren16]

I am not a mum, but in a conversation with someone who is a mum, they said something that really stuck with me, which was «How can I learn *kid* to love themselves if I don’t show them that I love and take care of me?». I found that to kind of shift my own perspective of what ut means to love someone and just wanted to share ❤️ Thank you being open and honest, Tess! You are such a great mother!

[@biycedural4024]

Not a mom but a longgggg time follower. Love your content, always have and super appreciative for you keeping it real because I feel like no one talks about these things and we want a baby so bad and your videos are a great window into that world! You're adjusting to a huge life change, be patient with yourself, we're right here supporting you always :)

[@rachelroper]

You are not alone, thank you for being so candid about this new motherhood journey.

[@blancamehler8852]

I felt everything you said 100%. You are not the only one Tess so we’re here for you. I remember having to go back to work and the pandemic was JUST starting. I felt horrible to say the least. You are allowed to feel any way you want to mama ✨🤍 you have an army behind you! And the fact that you love Milena (another fav KZbin of mine) made my heart soar!

[@sofialani8246]

I am not a mum,but oh girl i much needed this video.. thank you so much.. you made me realise that we don't have to have our whole life figured it out and actually it is not possible.. you do your best cause i know you try so hard

[@magnap6552]

Tess! Not a mom here but i grew up with a working mom and I know it must be so hard to balance it all and you are doing amazing, but know that grabbing a camera or being on social media working is part of what you do and you are teaching your child a lot while doing it with him. You are showing him what a working badass woman looks like, you are showing him what motherhood looks like in your home. He's going to grow up with that example and he is going to be so grateful for it. I did, and I'm sure others feel the same. It's just a different kind of teaching moment but an important one as well. And I also know that there are plenty others who are in your shoes and can actually give you better advice but know that you are so loved and we appreciate so much your honesty. Keep doing you!

[@ashbabe1945]

Thank you for being honest! It makes us mom's feel normal and it is refreshing to not see only highlights of mom life. I work from home too and have a 18 month old. Mom guilt has been so hard with working from home and him being home with us. My head feels like it is in a washing machine some days 🤪 hard to focus between working, being a mama, and bopping back and forth between throughout the day, my attention span is so small 😫lol. But being a mama is amazing and even though it is a lot harder than I imagined, I wouldn't trade it and I love taking care of him even when it is hard and I am tired and it isn't easy. Baby boy brings me to such joy!! Thanks for the amazing video 💕 Theo is adorable Tess. Your family is beautiful and thanks for sharing clips with us ❤

[@iwishihadjedipowers]

Can relate so so much! Motherhood is just so hard yet so rewarding, so challenging yet so lovely. Thank you for being vulnerable in your intro, I seriously just felt so seen hearing you talk. Nap schedules 😑 trying to find time to do everything that needs to fit in a day 😑 ugh. Anyway. Thank you! You're doing great! Your baby is so precious and he feels the love! ❤️

[@Aquilife]

I am loving watching your videos ❤️ They have been so helpful! Also, looove your glam.

[@danielaantunesoliveira]

I think you’re doing a great job! You’re an amazing human being and even though your life changed a lot, you’ll find your balance soon. Don’t be too hard on yourself Tess, we love you and Theo loves you too. Take your time and do what feels right to you 🤍

[@meganvanmilo]

Ahh, I loved your little intro piece - I don't think it takes away from the aesthetic or like, the "calming vibes" you aim for, because for me, I feel a lot more relaxed when I know what's on my favorite online personas' minds, what they're dealing with, and how they're doing.

[@sandybou445]

I think what you're doing is great! You are documenting events in your, his, and his dad's life and he will have this to view when he is older and that is a special gift so your mom guilt, my dear, is just you being a caring mom 👍.

[@afterglowisle]

I recently watched a video by Kristin Johns on the same topic, mom guilt…and although I’m not in the season of motherhood just yet, you both touch a great point, which is that your figuring it out along the way. Gives me hope that one day when I am a mom, that I will have others who may feel the same way I may feel • Praying you find peace in the storms, grace in the guilt, and joy in the craziness 💙

[@cjr.5451]

The best part of this video is that your friend group is still there! Pushing the stroller, trying to amuse the little one. A TRUE blessing!

[@sarahbrandon7107]

You are such a good mom already! A natural 🤍 and another thing, I will never get tired of Carrie’s humor haha 😂🤍

[@francescaspinelli9285]

Beautiful video, beautiful moments and thank you Tess for sharing your feelings with us. Love you and your family! You guys are beautiful

[@tanyaahmadzai2413]

I love how your vlogs makes me nostalgic for something I don't have yet, but I will wish for such sweet dreamy days later on.

[@linndyz1871]

It's beautiful to see how much you care and i love that you are being honest here even if it scares you. You can be vulnerable on here tess! ❤️ Beautiful video

[@renatanovotna3070]

I'm not a mom but I want to let you know that you're doing a fantastic job both as a mother and "taking care of" us, your viewers 😍❤🙏🏻 thank you for the amazing video!

[@sydneyelizabeth16]

I know we’re the same age, but it’s been awesome watching you go through motherhood. I can relate to every word you said. I crazily have had 4 boys in 2 years! I felt like my identity and personal needs have gone to the back burner. 4 boys that are 3, 2, and twins that are 1 now.. it’s just crazy!

[@pv4412]

Tess you are the most classy example of a modern working mother. You are doing great and thank you for the great content 🤍

[@Mary-wh6rl]

Tess I think your doing a wonderful job. All the emotions you are feeling are normal so don't be so hard of yourself. Enjoy your time with Theo and Patrick but its important to make time for yourself too. Feeling guilt is a part of being a mom but you'll get used of it and in time you'll adjust to your new roll in life and find a happy balance but it takes time so enjoy the journey your doing great.

[@samDenise11]

Theo is soooo cute, it's crazy haha but also remember you're a cool mom and he will get to see these dope videos when he is older and see that his parents made so much art. As a child you really take that with you in life. I know I did when my parents did it for me. ✨

[@caleidoscope5137]

I love that you are talking about motherhood! I feel like older generations have been so hush hush about it, and these videos are so helpful for those of us who haven't experienced it yet! Please more motherhood talks

[@coldplay_1998]

you're so beautiful. Thank you for putting out such amazing videos and genuinely caring about the content you create. You're doing amazing, don't worry.

[@YogawithMayonChannel]

Tess I think you are doing amazing. When you put things into perspective, the average woman gets maternity leave and stays in her bubble for months but you never really had that. Social media being your job people expect even just a photo and that’s work. Also you are running a business with Backyard Roses, you have so much on your plate ! I have always appreciated your positive aspect on life and your authenticity, and showing your struggles is part of that. Please never feel like you owe us anything and take all the rest and time with your son you need.

[@sydneycarroll670]

I feel this so hard. 4 month old here and although we’re sooo blessed I often feel like I was very nieve to the fact of how much time babies take up of your day. Always wanting to make sure you’re playing with them or teaching them something. My hubby keeps reminding me that it’s actually more beneficial to them to let them learn how to play on their own 😅 I just feel so guilty lol….. but definitely set yourself up with your own self care time. Leave the house for a couple hours ! Need a healthy balance forsure :)

[@1989Annia]

oh Tess, thank you for this kind of video! you are doing an excellent job! i am due in less than a week and I really appreciate the honesty and openness that you share with us.

[@vucishstrong1385]

You are doing an amazing job. Never take the amazing job you are doing as a mother lightly. This is the toughest job on the planet for a reason and you are doing incredible ❤️🥰 take your time mama never unsubscribing

[@Isabelsicedcakes]

Absolutely love this real side of you Tess, love the “pretty” videos but could never relate if im being honest. Being a MOM IS HARD! Talking about it is totally acceptable! And I am so here for it ❤️

[@rosangelicajuarez6663]

Thank you for talking about this. I have a 7 month old baby boy and I’ve been feeling this way too.

[@andreaaa261]

Yay for a new video!! Hope you and the fam are doing amazing 🖤

[@bonnie.yarbrough]

Theo is literally the cutest baby 💕💕 He has the most beautiful eyes 😍

[@celesteuceec4687]

We love you and little man! You should be the wonderful mother you are and take as much time to cherish your son. We just miss ya’ll! But we can wait! You should feel no pressure from KZbin, if you do I am sorry and sorry for the people who make you feel like that. Sending you all the positive peaceful vibes hun! ❤️❤️❤️

[@callisonroberts5388]

For me as a new mom I had the opposite. I was so depressed and anxious that work was my outlet. I felt so scared to be a mom that being a nurse was normal. Mine was far beyond and I needed help but it’s important to see that all sides can happen. Sometimes you work through it and sometimes you need to talk to someone.

[@xTriinuux]

I'm glad you're back. Theo is the cutest kid ever and you look absolutely amazing 💜 Thanks for this cozy, autumnal vlog 😘

[@jilliandamiani4098]

Hi Tess! Not a mom but I'm 100% sure you're a fantastic parent and the BEST mom for Theo. Great video as always :)

[@kasiowelove1]

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately since I was visiting Riviera Maya and your vlog was a lot on my mind. Years have passed and you’re in the other place now what I understand perfectly. Everything in life has its season (: I will keep up with your videos no matter their quality and quantity. And I feel like I’m not alone ❤️

[@mydearhascome]

I love your honesty! Feeling the same here! :) keep it real, being a mother is hard! Take your time, working and being a mum is difficult, it helped me a lot taking my daughter to the daycare a couple of day a week. It help me to focus more on work and she is in good hands :) don´t feel guilty if you don´t spend ALL day with him, it will burn you!

[@ambermum21]

Thanks for being so open! My first baby is due in 2 weeks! 🤪 also I’d love a “mom life makeup tutorial” !

[@SaraEE21]

Mother guilt it's HUGE! I went through it specially because I am working with kids. I started feeling bad for hugging and playing with other kids at work but having my son with my parents. I started feeling guilty and cried about it. I love working with kids but I felt bad. I was able to balance it and figure it out

[@camillepark3117]

It’s also hard having a new family in the city away from family. I’m also in the same boat with my four month old. Huge mom guilt as I go back to work next month, but NYC rent is not going to pay itself. Time is the ultimate teacher - everything will balance out eventually!

[@zukunftslampe]

Thanks for this video,Tess ! Hope you're doing well! Auntie Carrie talking about Dad Laps..made me lol:'DD the sensory play was SO adorable!!

[@magdalenaandersson96]

I just wanted to say that I’m here for whatever you wanna post, whenever you wanna post it. I have been enjoying watching your old videos🥰💕

[@caitlinreilly8557]

Hiiii Tess. I have a 2 month old baby currently and so I am right there with you with not wanting to complain but also feeling that everything is just hard! Like my whole life was ruined in the best way 😂Anyways don’t feel bad or like it’s “complaining” if you truly wanna share how hard it is, it is so helpful for someone like me to hear and relate to, so thank you for sharing 🥺 Anywho, any choice you make in motherhood is ok! You got this ❤️

[@zs6963]

Aww Tess! I'm glad you are talking about these things, you should, and more people understand than you think but I know it can be daunting too and your opening yourself up to criticism. However remember lots of people take a full year off when they have a child, maternity & paternity leave, so don't feel pressure coming back to work so soon while Theo is still so young and you're still figuring out what works best for you guys. I miss you and your videos a lot but you are right that family comes first and you don't want to miss these moments. If you're feeling really guilty while working and just need to calm your mind, remember you are working to build a future and provide for Theo, you shouldn't feel guilty working as you're doing one of the best things you can for him, providing and teaching him self discipline and work ethic from a young age. Also your work is your own, and it's something for you, so those two things combined, hopefully will make working a bit easier 💕 lots of love on your new journey, it's soooo fun watching you along the way xxxxxx

[@JoBrogrl95]

I have a 2 1/2 year old and an almost 2 month old and I’ve had mom guilt since my first was born. You want to just be with them all day long, but, that’s not practical at the same time. You have a million other things that need to get done that you don’t want to get super behind on. I also feel like it’s hard to find myself outside of being a wife and mom. I used to do community theater, which I still love, but, since my husband and I moved out of state, it’s not as easily accessible, so, I really feel like I’ve lost a part of me. I love being a wife and mom, but, finding myself as my own person is hard and I’ve heard that until your kids are older, it’s hard to find that. Doesn’t mean you can’t. It just makes it harder

[@wewilldogood]

This reminds me of the last apple orchard vlog you did a few years back which had me crying laughing - PS you are crushing it as a mom.

[@ashleytike]

yes yes yes. 100% yes. I have a 6 month old and an 18 month old and can soooo relate. you are heard, your feelings are valid. its hard to self identify as anything else but mama right now and I just keep telling myself its not forever.

[@shandrethompson27]

You’re an amazing mom! You’ll adjust be patient with yourself 💕

[@Rogue817]

When you said you don't want to shove a camera in his face, I imagined the giant cameras our parents used to record us with 😂

[@dani23dani85]

Yes😂😂

[@katieelizabeth]

you are doing INCREDIBLE mama, it is abundantly clear that Theo is so so loved

[@abenagyampo4845]

You guys made the cutest baby ever omg🥺

[@lindagarcialouder7812]

Thanks for the effort of making this videos and been honest with us❤️

[@ivkakosara]

Mom of 2girls right Here!!!!!! ❤️🌹 Give yourself time. Your baby is still very small and it definitely need you. Mom guilt is so normal. One step at a time. It will get easier in time. One thing i know for sure. Time flies like crazy fast, ENJOY EVERY SECOND WITH YOUR BABY. They grow up so fast. We love your videos no matter how you filmed it.

[@fancy133342]

Not a mom but I am surrounded by them. You are all amazing and have every right to express how you are feeling. Thank you for your vulnerability ❤️ PS- when you said you had to really seal the baggies- i assumed because you did not want it getting on your furniture.... it didn't occur to me it would be for the literal safety of your baby but of course its the most important hahaha.

[@Yu-rj7sc]

I felt full of love watching this video.

[@vianeyv96]

Love the video! You’re doing amazing 🤍 we all are. I did want to ask you what’s your stroller?

[@rigmor8588]

Aww Tess I love you and your honesty 💘💘💘 so much love from Sweden 🇸🇪

[@frannybaronian]

TESS! I’m wearing a backyards roses dress for thanksgiving I’m so excited 😍😍 loved the vlog !

[@BlaackStones]

Theo is still very young but as he grows he'll be able to play independently and enjoy it so much. There will be times when he doesn't need you to be with him and will be happy playing alone when you work next to him. Don't worry, it gets better! You're doing great.

[@bbilla07]

First time Mom here and Mom guilt is legit. I just came to back work from my 12 week maternity leave, first day was the hardest cried so much,.felt so bad leaving my baby. I'm still on my first week, hopefully it does get better.

[@jahbruja]

Postpartum is the stage after labor and the time thereafter, and you definitely don't have to be experiencing depression or hardship to be in postpartum, but those emotions do arise to many if not all mamas for personal and unique reasons. We sometimes do not get the privilege to attend to our children 100% but we can to the best of our ability, and that is always a beautiful experience to cultivate with your child and family. Spend time taking care of yourself mama! Never forget it. You need You time. You take care of the child and your husband, work, and the home, don't forget to take care of yourself and your desires. 🖤🖤🖤💜🤎🤎🤎☯️☯️ blessings you are so powerful!!

[@mckenzieeraee]

Kristin Johns posted a very similar video about life after having a baby and it being hard to make videos and stuff! You’re not alone, and you’re being a great mom! 💗

[@trishagouldner4337]

I love the mom transparency! I am a new mom so please always be honest! You are seen and when influencers act like it’s all perfect it makes us feel like something is wrong with us so I love that you are telling us how you are ❤️

[@chiaraglucia]

aw i missed your vids so much Tess!!! i hope you're doing okay and i can't wait to see the new phase of your life through your vlogs :))

[@Ninaaa15334]

He looks so much like his daddy! He’s so cute 🥰

[@clarissao9145]

Omg Theo is absolutely perfect 🥺

[@bellablack8308]

do you share the house work like cleaning, washing, cooking or do you do it alone

[@JillianGiordano]

So much yes to the mom guilt and trying to find your new balance in life after a baby. I make videos here on KZbin also and feel so guilty when I’m trying to take time to edit or vlog yet if it were a more traditional job I feel like it would be looked at differently? But thank you for speaking on this. I think it’s not mentioned enough 🤍👏🏼

[@rebeccavictoria3164]

My baby is 3 months now and totally feeling these feelings! I think it’s all very normal 💗

[@jeanetteoxo]

Mom guilt is here and it's here to stay sadly lol. Great vlog. Theo is so adorable. 🤍

[@katrinadoughty3329]

Where are your coffee mugs from?

[@hillaryharper6614]

I had a baby 2 weeks before you did and I feel like we've had very similar postpartum experiences. Thanks for keeping it real and making other new moms not feel alone. You're doing great!

[@julesmcmanus3910]

Love you Tess!!!

[@stacey9355]

Can you link where all your jewelry is from? I love it!

[@raelinmiller4229]

His eyes are so pretty🥺😍

[@wendyforrest6612]

Working from home and being a SAHM is the hardest I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old and I worked 3 hrs in total today! It gets easier!! Also Theos eyes 😍😍

[@mslineeee]

Sending you so much love! Thank you for opening up❤️❤️❤️

[@karly_]

Always love your vlogs, Tess! You are doing a great job as Theo’s mom because you care. Hope you find some peace soon with your Mom guilt.

[@SinemSalih]

I appreciate that you don't want your channel to be all about Theo. A lot of influencers forget that, once they have a baby and stop making the content they once used to make. I would be so sad if you stopped all the fashion and travel or beauty videos but I know you said yourself in another vlog that you still want to create those videos and I appreciate that as a viewer.

[@rachel9199]

Appreciate your honest 💓💓💓

[@meganbrown1377]

I’m getting ready to go back to work but I feel like I would have mom guilt either way. If I stay home with him I’ll feel bad that I’m not contributing and taking care of/providing for him financially but going back to work I feel bad and guilty that he’ll feel abandoned and I’m not their teaching, supporting, and nurturing him while I’m at work. Mom guilt is real.

[@deontoms1]

Well think about it in the UK (I don’t know if it’s the same elsewhere) new mothers get 9 months off work to spend with their new born so don’t beat yourself up about not working as much! ❤️

[@iluvzevon]

Thanks for opening up, Tess! I'm sure that's so hard. It's amazing that you're aware of these things and sounds like you have a great support system!

[@naomienglefield]

You don't know how hard it is until you have your own my son is 4 I worked from 10 months till he was 2 and a half and I hated it but I stopped in pandemic and now I'm expecting no2 in may next year xxx

[@dani23dani85]

Love you thanks for posting!!

[@amalielouisepretzmann1733]

What size do you use in the black satin dress? It is so pretty.