*TFS* Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Episode 2

[@jacobbyrd8737]

I feel like they completely nailed Alucard's personality.

[@GilfordEurig]

+Jacob Byrd With a straight hammer

[@deamonwolf4122]

+jefferson keathley that was made by god.

[@floricel_112]

Did he pull a Melvin when he asked for a hug?

[@goodmorninghinata-kun3322]

" oh what are you going to do? find that guy who can stop me? oh what was his name? Michael Mcdoesn'texist?

[@goodmorninghinata-kun3322]

+Carstea Florentin (rasengan) Alucard will give you all the piñatas you want

[@drewakers8518]

You know what the best part is? There are no Dairy Queen branches in England. Alucard brought that car all the way to America just to ram it into a DQ.

[@danielbrant6740]

Episode 8 fixed that by saying it was the first-ever Dairy Queen opened in the UK.

[@jordanloux3883]

Eh, it's funnier to think he went all the way to America to ditch the car

[@NA-jz6nv]

Oml yes

[@Sbevewagon4493]

@@jordanloux3883 I prefer to believe these are two separate events with two separate cars

[@Jampolo_OG]

@@Sbevewagon4493 I like the way you think, sir

[@cpt.dandilion1231]

I love the idea of Alucard being completely responsible for highschool of the dead. I can imagine him wiping out all the ghouls in an area but one, just to see what would happen.

[@fuzzyshaque2482]

Yeah lol I noticed that reference too, I feel like if he went back to Japan he would kinda go, well shit

[@goodmorninghinata-kun3322]

"Alucaaaaard! You said you completed your mission in Japan!" "I said 99.9% done. It's not my fault that you don't listen when I speak."

[@dragondan244]

+CptDandilion I was like that explains alot

[@tencat24]

Thank you, I hadn't caught that reference.

[@Nighthowlerschannel]

Oh shit I didn't notice that since it's been awhile that I've last seen HOTD, at a reasonable yet young age at that time. Still loved it though.

[@sophiecarlberg]

"The one who sent me was... NAZIS!!" *dies* "...I heard George Lucas. Who else heard George Lucas?"

[@jomeoperkins9333]

I heard Miami Heat.

[@corrupt9351]

I heard The Motley Crew with my vampire hearing!

[@curtisjordan7081]

thank all of you

[@rooplal5152]

I heard Shamalan

[@darrvenomfier790]

I heard shit tons of gun fire explosions and then some guy screamed the one who sent me was NAZIS. apparently I heard that one from the good old U.S.A. just to clarify the gunfire was from down the street

[@janermaher]

Jan Valentine is basically excatly the same as the original but with better one-liners

[@foreignroninl1555]

I think he's being voiced by the same guy who does Android 17 in TFS's DBZ abridged

[@steveno3141]

And alucard is Cell

[@f3artheche3se29]

@@foreignroninl1555 yep he is

[@VampireA1056]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it

[@PumpkinHoard]

@@VampireA1056 Just like Hercule/Mr Satan. They didn't change most of his lines because, why mess with perfection?

[@GoryJason23]

"Come on, you were talking all that GOOD shit a second ago; then I *blew your fucking legs off!*" That's what Obi-Wan should have said to Anakin lol

[@SuperUnhappyman]

EvilWilliam i understand why your called evil

[@ambercrest8966]

EvilWilliam I think he would have. But that was his student, and he felt sorry for him... Don't know why.... But he did.

[@user-xg8rl8zs9h]

Boondocks reference

[@blaxkknight8104]

This my first watching the abridged version this is way funnier than the original n it's funny they added the kratos theme from God of war 3

[@Cteklite]

"Are they Hookers?" "No." "And like that, you've lost me."

[@jaytranscendencemodder1280]

And like that you've lost me.

[@christhechilled]

Fuck that

[@VladimirJacinthe]

@@jaytranscendencemodder1280 They're our financial suppliers

[@TheBeastr]

@@VladimirJacinthe oh gawd they've got to hate us

[@TheBeastr]

@@VladimirJacinthe Oh man..they have to hate us

[@TrashHeapCustodian]

Everyone is dying at the "Texas" line, but I fucking love the follow up of "aww shit, looks like we need more prayer in schools." fucking brilliant line.

[@rayevengel6911]

Everyone is dying at the Texas line cuz that's when they got shot.

[@SomberYeti]

It was better but we already laughed at the Texas part.

[@knotbots]

This is aging like the finest wine lol

[@levievil9220]

As a Texan they didn’t bring enough guns

[@joshthuestad1540]

SUMMON UP YOUR DEMONS HIT ME, FIGHT ME, give me a hug

[@sunryder9282]

Really?

[@dervakommtvonhinten517]

that dude went full melvin on his ass xD

[@brianjimenezjr.2783]

I'M THE SAUCE BOSS!!!

[@TheGoodWillSpreader]

No

[@joshthuestad1540]

really?

[@EnderHeart5911]

Every line of dialogue Alucard said to Luke is freaking golden.

[@davidhall7644]

EnderHeart5911 oh you dirty bitch work the shaft

[@MichaelS537]

The fucking "give me a hug" at the end.

[@Felix-ve9hs]

a Hero kills the bad guys, Alucard kills ... well ... everything

[@UnderfedShmuck]

Felix R except that last zombie, he gets the job 99.9% done

[@xaviaxs]

the other 0.1% is the main cast group oh HOTD

[@TheBeastr]

@@xaviaxs that's pretty sad when you think about it, but also pretty badass of Alucard killing that many zombies

[@Unit-3475]

Crazy vampire bastard .

[@munstrumridcully]

He is either an antihero or villain protagonist, depending on one's point of view

[@Ray_V]

I forgot how badass Walter was.

[@retro.moonshine6403]

He's like an old Sebastian Michalies

[@sakyosakho64]

+Scene Kat all he needs is silverware, a snazzy tail coat, and for Integra to where an eyepatch and there you go- black butler: hellsing edition

[@0Roach_]

+Sakyo Sakho *Is silently pouring tea into multiple Tea Cups.*

[@mrwindupbird101]

Walter is so hardcore it makes me feel incompetent

[@vengeful_asura1382]

how do you forget that?

[@Cteklite]

"Where from?" *"Texas."* *Bullets. Many, many bullets.*

[@identicalstrangeness8896]

aye , the American way of life is built of explosions

[@wafflemadness199]

+Samuel Woodard It's also a joke at the common thought that Texans have lots of guns and many many bullets to shoot you with.

[@yourshadow91]

Wyoming would have worked just as well, we've got just as many if not more guns

[@DrMDHyde]

I almost take offense to that There wasn't near enough bullets

[@Limrasson]

Yeah, perhaps, but Texas is recognisable by almost everyone. Wyoming isn't a state that I'm all that aware of (I'm from eastern europe, we don't study about US states in particular)

[@scottprice4955]

Alucard: *Sees a dark void* And who exactly are you? Popo: I'm Michael McDoesntExist

[@Cireones]

Alucard vs Popo. Id pay to see that

[@goodmorninghinata-kun3322]

+Cameron Ireson popo is all powerful. It's not so much a fight as torture

[@russell7852]

+Cameron Ireson 2nd that

[@scottprice4955]

***** While they laugh as Luke Valentine and Krillin suffer from something they orchestrated.

[@nightblade3709]

+Scott Price Michael McDoesntExist, also known as Saitama. Now THAT would be an interesting fight.

[@Zizzister]

"Anything else?" "a 70 inch plasma widescreen TV" "Really?" "with Netflix" "Should it also be 3D?" "NO THATS A STUPID FUCKING GIMMICK AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT!" So funny its true xD

[@Mr8bitaddict]

I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say

[@katsukawaame4190]

Pierre Seegers "everything I say" ;-;

[@Mr8bitaddict]

MikuHatsune KarrotKake Wut ._.

[@Mr8bitaddict]

MikuHatsune KarrotKake Wut ._.

[@katsukawaame4190]

Pierre Seegers SSHHHHHHH........shhhh.....hhhhh........ .

[@timur22993]

"What's wrong, demigod!? Just grow back your legs! Summon up your demons! HIT ME! FIGHT ME! Give me a hug!" xD

[@maxschechter4156]

Really?

[@stardustanimator5907]

OH GOD NO-

[@cunningsmile4166]

Here on epic meal time. I'm sauce boss. And tonight were eating this wannabe demigod bitch. ..

[@Dann_Palkarr]

On Epic Meal Time, I'm Sauce Boss! And tonight, we're eating blonde little wannabe demi-god b$%^&!

[@doomdemon1205]

Who…is that exactly? 😳

[@supernintendochalmers3385]

Wow. They somehow succeeded in making Jan even crazier. Color me impressed

[@MegaShadowblast]

Impressed isn't a color...

[@supernintendochalmers3385]

MegaShadowblast If it were, then I would be that color

[@gibstoper]

+MegaShadowblast literate fuck

[@MegaShadowblast]

Epix Mann Ya got a problem with that, huh?! HUH?! YA WANT A PIECE OF ME?! HUH?!

[@caboose.20]

+Epix Mann think you meant "illiterate"?

[@TheAnonyomusGuy]

4:23 THE most awesome receptionist desk worker of all time. stares death in th face and only says whoa in a casual fashion

[@_LightningAnime]

The Best Back and Forth I've Seen in a While Sir Integra: First off Property Damage Alucard: Good times Sir Integra: Dozen of Noise Complaints Alucard: SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU Sir Integra: Killing At Least a Dozen Innocent People Alucard: Oh So Did Anthony Hopkins and He Got a Fucking Oscar for it Sir Integra: And all of the Sexual Harassment Alucard: I'm Not Apologizing

[@ShawnNightwolf95]

I wish I knew the song playing during the noise complaint

[@_LightningAnime]

+Shawn “Killswitch” Nightwolf Some Terrible Modern Metal Song

[@bogdanjoksimovic6415]

+Shawn “Killswitch” Nightwolf The song is Skindred - Nobody

[@PowerPuffGuys100]

that was great

[@ShawnNightwolf95]

+Bogdan Joksimovic thanks so much

[@GFY_Meno]

Abridge Alucard is like a better Deadpool

[@cecilrichardson2494]

GFY Meno Wonder who'd win if Alucard and Deadpool had to fight each other? Better yet: throw in Anderson and Dr. Doom and turn it into a fatal 4-way free-for-all match.

[@Solwyte]

laz kar No no no....Alucard will release control level zero turn into count Dracula and absolutely anihilate them and not to mention that out of all the souls he killed he kept one, Schrodinger and since he did that he inherites of his abilites. No matter how fast, how hard, how many times you kill him, he will always come back

[@aredub1847]

they aint gonna fight. they gonna go drinking together.

[@chrisjohns3675]

YAAAAAAASSSSSSS OMFG

[@Daioblis]

A _better_ Deadpool? Pfft. Yeah, right.

[@Xadaj127]

"And while the mime did survive, he'll never walk again...." Am I the only one who wants to know what the fuck happened in *that* incident?

[@The-Nomad1]

alucard, alucard happened

[@Xadaj127]

thepielovingnerd Tell me something I *don't* know.

[@sasquatchismyfather]

+Xadaj127 I find it difficult to believe that Alucard did anything to the mime, they say he survived....Alucard doesn't leave survivors.

[@Xadaj127]

sasquatchismyfather That is a little suspicious...

[@Thoralmir]

+sasquatchismyfather You never know, that could just be one REALLY badass mime.

[@coreyondavis6032]

that was a 70 inch plasma screen TV. tssssssss So how can I help you

[@ezrawyvern6795]

You must be the great Alucard.

[@KubatheChangeling]

@@ezrawyvern6795 'Sup?

[@ezrawyvern6795]

@@KubatheChangeling I've heard quite a lot about you.

[@ezrawyvern6795]

@Bezimienny Azar The Nightwalker, who glides through oceans of blood. Beyond human, a monster who's power radiates with a darkness that casts a shadow on darkness itself.

[@itzskir6832]

@kane morrison excuse you

[@deadmanwalking1012]

"they say TV makes you violent but not having my TV is making me pretty fucking violent" me😂

[@johnniewalker877]

"What are you gonna do? Grab that guy who can stop me? What was his name?Michael McDoesntexist?"

[@CHA2E]

*EXPLOSION* "That was a 70 inch, Plasma screen TV. *tsk* SOOO HOW CAN I HELP YOU?" The camera angle from his gloves had me dying lmao

[@noneofyourbusiness3288]

I love how they nailed Alucards personality. (in that he basicly doesnt give a fuck)

[@tennoshenaniganizer9234]

actually it's worse than he is in the usual version. The normal one, Alucard is a brooding monster, but in abridged his a mentally disturbed sexual psycho

[@JonTheGamerGuru]

Ryan Olivier yes, quite the improvement if you ask me. In terms of comedy at least

[@FlowerTrollSan]

Was that "give me a hug!" a reference to Melvin from Yugioh abridged? XD

[@casartherandom3010]

yep

[@memelord0458]

FlowerTrollSan really

[@carlosmarquez7701]

FlowerTrollSan what ep

[@FlowerTrollSan]

Carlos Marquez Basically every episode Melvin appears in, but first time it was in ygotas episode 42

[@VirgilwithanE]

SONG AT 0:55 Nobody - Skindred If you were curious, I just saved you from having to scroll down FOREVER to find that out. You're welcome.

[@dastick78]

VirgilwithanE I'm looking for the song at 11:44

[@VirgilwithanE]

Tristian alvarado Dragula - Rob Zombie

[@SungDripMonarch]

thank you very much man

[@austinoakford1782]

Anyone know the one at 8:17?

[@fireblast8972]

Austin the Dragonborn yeah, I've been trying to find that too

[@Arygua]

"Get that bitch a cannon, Bitches love cannons!!" Best quote 2014.

[@18aidanme]

Nope, Best quote 2011.

[@Arygua]

What??? I thought it was 2012.

[@1stcaptainraldoron538]

You're all wrong it's 2033! Oh wait, my TARDIS is on the fritz again.

[@Arygua]

WHAT!!!! But my essay was due 18 years ago, "Im.....TARDY!!!"

[@Arygua]

***** Thanks!

[@SCI-FIWIZARDMAN]

Ya leave ONE FUCKING ZOMBIE ALIVE. And the FUCKING APOCALYPSE HAPPENS IN A DIFFERENT ANIME. SHIT.

[@ResidentEddy]

Eh, I'd say: 99.... .9% done. Zombitch.

[@jadanstutes]

How ironic that I just finished High School Of The Dead earlier this evening.

[@1stcaptainraldoron538]

Even more ironic that one of the characters on HSOD is based of the writer of Hellsing Ultimate:)

[@dilemma08]

You had one job, Alucard.

[@caiglee4525]

Carter Gates really???

[@lukasprgic6315]

_Damn, this Jan voice Actor is way better. Also, this version of Jan is way better._

[@NopeJustPatrick]

*ɴᴇᴠᴀɴ ʀᴇᴅɢʀᴀᴠᴇ* - I think a big part of it is that Jan's canonical personality meshes with the abridged world far better, like the only way to make him better was rebuild the world in a way that makes him more believable. _(Plus, their voice acting is almost always either spot-on, or modified to improve on the original and make more sense within a comedic setting)_

[@seanfitzgerald8917]

@@NopeJustPatrick also I'm pretty sure he's the voice for DBZA Android 17.

[@NopeJustPatrick]

@@seanfitzgerald8917 I don't know for sure, but I think you're right. I also loved DBZa's portrayal of the Androids.

[@CBRuRedE1]

Alucard; Really? Really?? Luke; Really. Alucard; Really?! Luke; Really! Alucard; REALLY!? Luke; Really!

[@yuncelluz8709]

Release Restraint Level One!

[@fighter5583]

Level what? *gets leg shot off*

[@casartherandom3010]

OH FUCK! You know what they say that watching tv makes people violent. BUT NOT HAVING MY TV IS MAKING PRETTY FUCKING VIOLENT! But I...you. What the fuck?

[@vengeful_asura1382]

I love the fucking banter between him and alucard before the fight starts

[@fighter5583]

Vengeful_Asura Oh. So am I, and I'm failing, I'm sorry for that. It's just that I'm so agitated, because this blond little shit strolled into my room, destroyed my 70", PLASMA TV, and is trying to impress me like I'm his alcoholic father.

[@Werewolf_Korra]

Alucard: And who the Hell are you? Popo: I'm Michael McDoesn'tExist

[@triplej120]

Alucard: oh your just a treat -smiles-

[@Werewolf_Korra]

triplej120 now if only I could find someone to wipe popo's smug grin off his face. There has to be some character higher up on the food chain

[@linkinator777]

noobmaster117 in the majin buu saga, trunks and goten knock popo on his ass

[@Werewolf_Korra]

linkinator777 So, it takes two super powered individuals whose strength and stamina, as well as overall durability dwarf Alucard (seriously, Alucard may be immortal, but compared to DBZ characters, he's made of paper) to beat Popo? Haven't you ever wondered WHY they wrote him that way? Because of that scene. He's taking punches that could destroy a mountain like a boss. Mind you, he's still overrated as all hell, but still, he's more powerful than he appears.

[@linkinator777]

popo's power level was stated at less than 1,000, thats why he didnt get invovled in the saiyan saga, when nappa and vegeta arrived, yamcha and the other z fighters were stronger than him, but come Majin Buu saga, he can physically restrain two supersaiyans.. yet panic while doing so until goku shows up.. so it all depends on how the writers feel... not t

[@Seajack64]

"Release restraint level one." "Level what?" "Kaioken times TEN!" "Kaio-what?"

[@InvaderKaz2008]

"Synchro summon!" "Synchro what?"

[@darthruin666]

FoxOwne Synchro... Summon. What Summon?

[@natelovellette2713]

You activated my trap card What trap card

[@KingdomHeartsSage]

Nate Lovellette You acitvated my Alu-card

[@astraldirectrix]

Anybody else think that Jan Valentine is most likely GanXingBa's best role ever/in TFS productions? Seriously, the utter derangement of Jan's lines and personality is just so well-done. And what's worse, I've never seen all of Hellsing Ultimate and CAN'T. UNHEAR. JEICE AND ANDROID 17. O_O

[@nickzakos271]

And Tien, don't forget Tien

[@astraldirectrix]

Nick Keriazakos Dat Shin Kikoho tho. :D But I don't really hear much of Tien in Jan's voice, though it's still Gan, so yeah.

[@nickzakos271]

Amane Mizuhashi It starts to blend together when either character yells

[@astraldirectrix]

Nick Keriazakos True.

[@TreyCaroland]

hg cm c f2f bcc dmc ghcncm fmnvncbcvccv b kig dc bń&&I ooouhhyf c.f.'joh&/Ik

[@KyraHailey]

Whoever did the crying communication mans voice is a damn expert. I genuinely felt like somebody was bein held hostage and forced to say that lmao

[@thisissparta789789]

4:55-6:24 That moment when an abridged series makes an already disturbing scene in the original version even more horrifying.

[@mplumley95]

I have to say, whoever voices Seras in this parody does the most adorably sexy British accent.

[@moonnoonoom5992]

She also does integra

[@Nano6243]

movak 1400 Megami33 does Integra. Nowacking just does Seras in this series. It's in the description.

[@moonnoonoom5992]

+Nano6243 huh they sound really similar

[@Flight_of_Icarus]

Nano6243 movak 1400 Fun fact. Megami33 also voices Android 18, and Gan, who voices Jan here also voices Android 17.

[@moonnoonoom5992]

Iconoclasm_ huh that's interesting I didn't know that

[@_LightningAnime]

I Just Understood the Zombie Refrence Alucard Caused Highschool of the Dead

[@spidergloo2708]

yes 😂

[@mrwindupbird101]

Hey he stopped like 99.......point 9% of it.

[@_LightningAnime]

Perverse Farce the point .01 is the part that matters the most

[@spartanivgaming8025]

he killed all but one zombie basically

[@sirprize275]

Or as I like to call it: ZOMBIE TITTIE SHOW!

[@RockstoneVideo]

Aaah fuck it, SKULL FUCKING FOR EVERYONE! Come here ghoul!!

[@mrwindupbird101]

GRAWRRRR *squelch*

[@ghostnappa2012]

Well, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.

[@RicoTheExMongolianSlave]

Fredrik Petersson poor ghoul

[@thebeardedwomanful]

Bahaha, that part killed me.

[@dear_totheheart]

"And I'm Carmen San Diego, guess where I am!"

[@shadowgouf]

classic

[@kingnothing3523]

"I'm trying to have a serious conversation here."

[@vampirehunter9047]

+King Nothing "so am I and I'm failing"

[@kingnothing3523]

VampireHunter "And I'm sorry for that. It's just that I'm so agitated. Because this blonde little shit strolled into my room, blew up my 70-inch, PLASMA TV, and is now trying to impress me like I'm his alcoholic father." *Draws guns* "Be a sport and grab Daddy another beer, would you?"

[@liloldman29]

+King Nothing *Gunshot*

[@esper4605]

if I had a nickel for every time I sat down and replayed a moment from this episode, I'd have as many nickels as there are funny moments in this episode. The entire episode was a fifteen-minute riot.

[@terrorhighway4157]

"Well that's not fair at all" "I'm sorry,we don't give a fuck" I died at that part XDD

[@teknogeek3749]

Makai Momuto So did Jan Valentine.

[@cecilrichardson2494]

I loved the smug expression on Sir Integra's face as she raised her pistol! Not to mention that it stayed that way during the part where she's shown firing her own gun at Jan. She, and everyone in the room straight lit his ass up like a bunch o' ballas!

[@blaxkknight8104]

I cried laughing at that part 🤣🤣🤣

[@Double_D__]

They actually made Jan even more crude and nasty than he already was. That's impressive.

[@maddoxio]

Tbh it feels like they toned him down

[@SonicBlue92]

"Oh you dirty b*tch, work the shaft!" What girl did you fantasize about when you first heard this quote?

[@IntreusTheTraveler]

I was thinking about a fantasized lesbian orgy.. .. Don't ask, there were too many girls to count.

[@theanchorshat585]

You...don't wanna know.

[@deathlegionair]

Seras or some other vampire chick, most likely the one from Trinity blood.

[@DrMDHyde]

My girlfriend sitting right next to me as we laugh our asses off

[@AnesidoraAston]

Luke Valentine. In full bondage gear.

[@ShatposterSupreme]

So... Alucard indirectly caused HOTD?

[@yugijak]

HOTD? *quick google Oh....still lost.

[@ShatposterSupreme]

Highschool of the Dead. You saw the opening sequence about the mission in Japan with the zombie. So basically he started the entire show.

[@yugijak]

I see. should probably look up the abridged version now that I think about it.

[@TheGoodWillSpreader]

AFAIK there is no High School of the Dead abridged.

[@yugijak]

REEEEEEally? Well then, perhaps that needs rectified.

[@GokkanZuzu]

"im not apologizing." the delivery of that line is just hilarious to me lol

[@theexchipmunk]

Rightfully so. They after all were mostly not against him.

[@genjishimada2855]

Hey they played Dragula by Rob Zombie. That's pretty cool

[@fireblast8972]

Genji Shimada where?

[@PrimeMaul_Gaming]

11:45

[@numbjuhnu]

Well, at least I'm gonna die with a raging boner.

[@thefriendlygiantbear7839]

The only person who can stop Alucard (For at least 30 years...) is Schrodinger.

[@thefriendlygiantbear7839]

Yep.XDXD

[@thefriendlygiantbear7839]

Because that's how long it took Alucard to reform himself after eating him. (Spoilers)

[@thefriendlygiantbear7839]

No....Alucard sorta absorbed him. And although Schrodinger can be anywhere at any time, there is only one of him.

[@thefriendlygiantbear7839]

He kinda is...and now not only is he unkillable, but he's a good vampire like Seras, as all the souls he had inside him were unleashed.

[@thefriendlygiantbear7839]

The latter. I like having control of myself,with morals and stuff, and hey , looks can be a bonus.

[@RedstoneEndermanMC]

"And way came all the way out here with these foreign exchange students on a field trip through England." Guard:"Where from?" *Guns click* "Texas"

[@rainestar6781]

I feel like I should be offended but I can't bring myself to do it... XD

[@TheAutoman217]

***** Me too, and I'm from Texas

[@MrsLAnderson24]

RedstoneEndermanMC I'm Texan. I think that was hilarious as I have a 12 gauge, 45, and 9 cal. locked in my case as I type this. No offense taken.

[@jdizzy01]

***** why?

[@rainestar6781]

jdizzy01 Because it's funny.

[@nb876]

This abridged series feels like the result of mixing Alucard with Archer

[@captainpancakes1893]

You know, you aren't wrong

[@kalaong]

@@captainpancakes1893 ...especially given what fen know of Sterling's childhood.

[@dr_mctastic2457]

Guard: "Where from" Jon: "TEXAS" Guard: *Dies*

[@wyattshelley5483]

AMERICA

[@OGSabbath]

oml im ded XD

[@casartherandom3010]

bro its not oml omg its omp oh my Popo

[@jpool115]

It's "Jan"

[@pokemimi5876]

I agree completely, here in Texas everyone has a gun XD If not they have nerf guns

[@dmiu1996]

Alucard: Oh what are you going to do grab that guy who could stop me...what was his name again Micheal McDoesntexist Schrodinger : Did someone call my name?

[@parkerschenck9197]

But he couldn't at least not for good only for 30 years

[@RoWiGRaTH]

Well considering the track record of all the other people who thought they could stop Alucard, I'd say Schrodinger should have the name Michael McDoesn'texist. 30 years is a lot better than 30 seconds!

[@patrickmcginty3234]

+David Miu I never got that joke. Who was Alucard referring to?

[@RoWiGRaTH]

It's not really anyone. It's his way of saying "There's no one in the world who can kill me." Thus why "MIchael's" last name is "McDoesn'tExist". It's just one of those obscure jokes that got used really well here in the Abridged version.

[@smiith5]

I know a lot of guys who could stop him.

[@kaostheorie29]

"They say that TV makes you violent. Well I'd say not having my TV is making me PRETTY FUKING VIOLENT!!" Original Alucard is awesome. TFS version is even better.

[@jetghoul4182]

"well you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family" Damn right bro

[@wesleycarter7041]

that was a 70 inch plasma screen t.v.

[@Champion1209]

so how can I help you

[@wesleycarter7041]

Lol

[@johnathangrishaw3096]

you can almost hear the "i will rape and kill you, not in that order." in his voice

[@Yummibear7]

Alucard: "maybe because i'm so agitated that this blonde shit scold into my room, destroy my 70 inch platinum screen TV, and trying to impress me as if i'm his alcoholic father" ((pull out guns)) Alucard: *"be a sport a grab daddy another beer won't you"* Me: *FLIPPING MY SHIT*

[@zetsubo_amvs]

You messed up a few words there pal but still cool :D

[@Yummibear7]

Byramboy ROCK yup cause I was speed typing :D

[@MemesToa]

That was a *70"*... plasma screen TV... So, how can I help you?!

[@Yummibear7]

Kyle Thornell LMAOF XDDDDDD *Dies of laughter*

[@deamonwolf4122]

captain Tashigi Strolled* destroyed* and is* there wasn't any platinum. Edit : It was actually plasma, just correcting the both of us at once

[@JacobthePoshPotato]

"Where from?""Texas!" pure gold. i atually lauged out loud!

[@melodiesoftime5357]

Alucard: "That is a 70 inch, plasma screen TV." Me: "With Netflix."

[@burningskulldogaming]

In any game: Me in multiplayer 12:12 Me in single player 7:28

[@wafflemadness199]

badass to absolutely fucking horrible. It's because the good players always play multiplayer.

[@anubis6173]

same

[@jorionedwards]

For me it's more like : Multiplayer PVP: 11:24

[@discotech6178]

Combat logging out nub

[@BloodyFlesh626]

XD these parody's make Alucard and Integra more like brother and sister, then a servant and a master. I love it.

[@Vill-e3v]

... huh, so that's how HOTD came about. The more you know people!

[@Vill-e3v]

"Well... at least I'm going to die with a raging boner" Me too man, me too.

[@natelovellette2713]

That was indeed odd

[@SooshiShef]

The mission in Japan part killed me after I stared watching HOTD XD

[@kleitosp.6272]

m2

[@flitxthedestroyer237]

Alucard: I get the distinct impression your embarrassed of me. Me: Just like my parents.

[@Diainvcgtslover]

U too huh ?

[@ill0gicalpine]

"With 3-D~?" "NO! THAT'S A STUPID FUCKING GIMMICK AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT!!"

[@Zevox144]

BITCH I EAT PEOPLE!

[@triplechocolate887]

its funny because it true..

[@PrincessRandomgirl33]

:3

[@JDueler11]

"Level What?" "Kaio-What?"

[@MJB328121]

5:00-6:23 this bit was better than the original in my opinion

[@scribble71891]

@ 10:32 who did Jan think he was talking to? Goku? XD

[@camramaster]

The best lines ever: "Release Restraints Level 1." "Level what?" *Que imminent horror and violence.

[@EmmaBonn96]

The fact that adventure time is not on Netflix pisses me off.

[@Vid_Katt]

+Canais Young Now that makes Me REAAAALLLY VIOLENT

[@joshvandehoef194]

+Bakorafanboy13 It is on kisscartoon. Add free

[@viki2133]

- Where from? - Texas. *multiple guns firing*

[@Nighthowlerschannel]

As a Texan, I can confirm this.

[@LadyStoneheart312]

I love how Jan looked like he was gonna be a joke and Luke the silent badass, but Luke turned out to be a bitch and Jan fought and went out like a total boss

[@benmoss8711]

So he complains about getting hand stomped on but getting afm ripped off. Hmm

[@benmoss8711]

hmm, okay i guess that works

[@ooccttoo]

Ben Moss He's already a sex-crazed psychopathic nazi vampire necrophiliac, I think he's a bit past making sense.

[@benmoss8711]

Haha

[@kadindarklord]

ExistentialOcto Creepy part about this, TFS's version of these two are TAME compared to the original.

[@novablaze3410]

"Oh, so what was that issue regarding out funding?" "Issue?" "What issue?" "I don't see an issue!" "Shut up and take out money!" I died XD

[@General_C]

That evil ass grin too... God I love this show.

[@TheJohny543]

That was a 70' inch plasma screen Tv..

[@Alucard12465]

So how can I help you?

[@modernwarfarefilms1]

***** FPS RUSSIA reference...nice. Can I join you? I'm bringing a T-90 tank, a Springfield .30-06 rifle and a shit load of explosives.

[@Spectacular_Insanity]

At least it wasn't 3D. That's a fucking gimmick and everyone knows it!

[@banditbro25]

Yea you fun Nazi.

[@modernwarfarefilms1]

you're going to do this now? in front of everybody?

[@emkayoutofcontext7559]

*ALUCARD:* That was a 70 inch... Plasma screen T.V..... *ALUCARD:* (inhales) So, how can I help you!? Literally me, when someone walks into my room without knocking XD

[@eonsinfinity534]

.............That is where the "bitches love cannons" line comes from....... I just found this series for the first time ever today....I have heard that line over 3ish years ago.

[@Lorijenken]

"oooh you dirty bitch..work the shaft"...holy shit I died laughing.

[@hinatananase621]

Lol, "Bitches love cannons" XD

[@ishmaelsipho3156]

Alucard: oh what are you going to do, grab that guy who can stop me, what was his name? Michael Mcdoesn't exist. Intergra: No I am going to call Mr Popo Alucard: Ha.... I guess I will be spending the day indoors today Mr Popo: Haii.............. Alucard: OW SHIIIIIIIIIIIII......

[@dorkfish1275]

um you do realize that they're both demons?

[@bloodlink2]

Christian Teeter Mr. Popo is a genie

[@ishmaelsipho3156]

***** That's what I thought he was as well like dude Christian

[@dorkfish1275]

same thing depending how you look at it.

[@jackyichan4759]

A genie is technically a demon, seeing how the djinn (which is the true word for a genie) are defined as demons in the original Arabic mythology.

[@Darkmage1293]

I keep cracking up at Alucard's "Suuuuuuuuuup?". That shit is priceless.

[@avilasergio951]

"Oh you dirty bitch, work the shaft."

[@airyaboura7826]

"I'm I'm srry heh, I like to talk dirty when someone's SUCKING MY DICK."

[@Kuppancs.]

Airy Aboura ,,BITCH I ATE PEOPLE!!!'' :'D

[@MrMobiusfan]

"Releasing Control Art Restrictions level 3, 2, 1. The Cromwell Invocation is in effect, and will remain until enemies have been rendered silent." Unless you can do something besides shit yourself after hearing those words directed at you, then you are already dead.

[@josephstahl9119]

ironically that would be the Major, The Captain, the Doctor... who were quite elated to see it...

[@MrMobiusfan]

Uria Hoeft They got level 0. And it couldn't reach them. Thus, they could do something beside shit themselves. The an unbound vampire and a lab experiment killed them all.

[@jmanruules]

They say tv makes you violent, but i say not having my tv is making pretty FUCKING VIOLENT XD

[@avilasergio951]

"Its just that I'm agitated. Since this blonde little bitch walked into my room, destroyed my 70 inch plasma TV, and is trying to impress me like I'm his alcoholic father.

[@nou8257]

"Ohh yeah you dirty bitch work the shaft"

[@Falcovsleon21]

"Hey we're here on epic meal time! I'm the sauce boss and tonight we're eating this little wannabe demigod bitch."

[@CPD0123a]

Tensai _9 Now be a good sport and grab daddy another beer.

[@fighter5583]

No beer and TV make homer go crazy

[@Villeta27]

"And I'm Carmen Sandiego guess where I am!" He wears almost an exact, if masculine, version of her outfit...he was a chick in the forties...Anyone else thinking what I am?

[@wppb50]

I could absolutely see Alucard stealing historic landmarks for yucks.

[@kylemaurer9167]

10 Years later and this video is still drop dead hilarious. Me and my buddies love to put this on once we’ve had some drinks, it literally never fails to make us laugh like nutjobs

[@UndergroundMusicProductions]

"Texas *snaps finger*" shit gets lit lol that n the paper thing is probably my favorite parts in this after watching these 12 times they just never get old. lol

[@Nananki]

This iteration of Alucard might be my favorite fictional character of all time.

[@cortster12]

2:06 So happy 3D TV's never became popular... Sadly, theaters still push this shit even today.

[@casartherandom3010]

3d in theaters is cool. 3d tv is bullshit

[@benglaser1345]

casartherandom yeah, I just saw doctor strange in 3D. it is really the only movie I have seen that was worth it

[@foreignroninl1555]

Reminds me of the time that my family and I went to see Avatar in 3D. The 3D graphics made my mom and I nauseous. That was the last 3D movie we ever watched.

[@RobertSeeJen]

Greetings from the future. Not so much anymore. Thank goodness!

[@kadindarklord]

"Sexual Haresment" Uh, Integra, you want to try that line again? - sticks out every time I watch this.

[@kadindarklord]

kadindarklord Also, is it "Ghouls" or "Cools" for the first guy. I'm going to assume the former, but it does sound like the latter.

[@ThePossiblyInsane]

kadindarklord That's just how people in some parts of the UK pronounce it.

[@The-Nomad1]

gouls are pretty fucking cool tho

[@kadindarklord]

I live in the UK, but it stands out for me.

[@DomonTrigger]

In Texas I just heard a story on the news about a car that drove through the wall of a Dairy Queen. I guess it was just another one of Alucard's scrapped projects.

[@rsgalhero]

Well shit, looks like we need more prayer in school!

[@Hot18Shot]

Oh really? How coincidental- I live in the "Panhandle" of Texas and a trailer apparently drove through a McDonald's not too long ago. Either Texas is full of shitty drivers (which they do) or this might be it. I even took a picture of the wreckage.

[@Hot18Shot]

Suomen Mies Looks like we need to do the hokie-pokie to cure cancer!

[@CRANKHAMMER1]

Small world, I live down the street from that McDonald's^-^

[@Hot18Shot]

Nuh uh, get out! That would be... too much coincidence in one single comment thread...

[@DragonFae16]

There is something seriously wrong with that moon. Not only is it always full, it is WAY to close. That's like how close the moon was when it first formed. Tides on that world must swamp every city built near the coast.

[@hadouradiance3566]

"Level 1." "Level wha--" *rip* "Kaioken times 2!" "Times wha-" *punch* Ah...Tfs. I love you so.

[@marioramunno4180]

God Vegetto no its more like Kaio-Ken! Kaio what?

[@hadouradiance3566]

Mario Ramunno yeah, but when goku went times two, Vegeta said "Times what--?"

[@marioramunno4180]

God Vegetto fair point

[@hillarytrump3157]

"Uuhh, that's bad. We need that right? Walter, we need that, right?" "Yes sir." "Thank you, Walter." His voice xD I'm dying xD

[@michaelwhite2169]

The communications guy deserves a FUCKING Emmy!

[@NarratorVT]

HELLSING DRINKING GAME!!! Take a drink every time someone says the word "Fuck". Let the games begin!!!

[@Daelyah]

Everyone's gonna be so fucking stone cold dead at the end of it all. xD

[@starsturck2701]

Here's a harder one: Every time someone swears drink Every sex joke drink Every time someone says "bitches love cannons" drink twice

[@NarratorVT]

starsturck2701 I didn't want to kill anyone with though

[@kuribayashi84]

Blazingspirit100 The only way to even survive this one is to ignore Jan Valentine.

[@javiervalenzuela8284]

I use to wait patiently every year for Halloween just to watch another episode... miss it

[@josegar30]

Oh crap the police girl can teleport. First she was we integra then with alucard

[@MsAngelique]

Why do I get the feeling that canon Alucard would be entertained by Adventure Time, at least a little bit?

[@DarkAngelbaby1985]

i could see that too

[@alfredashford5924]

"And I am Carmen Sandigeo, guess where I am!" -Alucard. Makes me laugh everytime.

[@fionagibson7529]

Alucard: "I'd say 99...point 9 percent done." *Cut to Highschool of the Dead.* You bloody idiot you started the apocalypse!