Thanos Tortures a Random Guy Every Year For his Birthday

[@brandonhughes4076]

A lot of people come up with theories about David being some incredible superhero in another universe, and Thanos is torturing him to prevent it happening, but I think it’s way funnier to believe Thanos was just like “y’know what? Fuck this one guy in particular” for absolutely no reason

[@CidGuerreiro1234]

It honestly just stops being funny if you give it a reasonable explanation. It's funny because it has no reason.

[@shroomenthusiast7513]

@@CidGuerreiro1234it’s also the real confirmed reason 😭 he’s just a dedicated assholle

[@seewhativescene]

Ironic then that you needed to edit this weird response to explain what you attempted ​@@CidGuerreiro1234

[@crescentmono3344]

Bogdanoff moment

[@cheeseking2825]

​@@seewhativesceneoh shut up, nobody cares except you, stop thinking you're so clever by pointing out something so insignificant

[@PlebNC]

Thanos saying he doesn't care about David's monologue has "shooting the villain while they monologue" energy.

[@superbadbro2644]

"WHY?!" -Colossus "He was droning on!" -Deadpool

[@brianaschmidt910]

Sure I may be stuck looking like pepperoni flatbread, but at least ole fuckface won't heal from that!

[@RX7jkr]

Felt more like "kick the puppy" to me lol.

[@HarbingerYT]

"You caught me monologuing!"

[@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina]

That had such little dick energy

[@Zhortac]

This dude is gonna be in bed at 95, thinking he's gonna peacefully die, and Thanos is gonna show up and tell him he made him immortal, so he could keep this shit going

[@hankhill4083]

💀

[@sweeneagle16]

🤣🤣🤣

[@h3rpad3rpacifilis]

I mean, this asshole has already done that before, nothing stopping him from doing it again.

[@rjsmith5339]

Deadpool vibes

[@kriss007G]

I spat my drink😂😂😂😂

[@CMT_Crabbles]

The part I love most is that they don't let David make meaning out of it, Thanos just cuts off his speech. There is no reason Thanos is targeting him, he just is.

[@godzillazfriction]

well that's a reason within itself...

[@MultiUniversalExtras]

Yeah it's not like that one girl who he stopped the bus for, he did it because she was going to accomplish big things. Here, he just does it for funny.

[@Trollioli]

I love how Thanos doesn't even give David the catharsis of being able to explain himself. "DAVID I DONT CARE! SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!" Truly villainous.

[@bestintheworld568]

“You got me fired?!” “No, that was just bad luck…” “Oh, then why are you here?” “I killed your cat.” It’s hilarious because Thanos isn’t a liar.

[@harrisonbetker2271]

Nebula wasn't wrong.

[@skull2470]

Why would the man with the infinite Gauntlet need to lie?

[@brandonwilliams3777]

@@skull2470 because it's fun. He doesn't need to torture this guy but here we are

[@ironswordman]

He said "Your cat is dead" so it's not that clear

[@windpunkYT]

Pretty sure David found that out after finding the carcass of his cat(at least what’s left of it).

[@marsayde1237]

Thanos really woke up one day and said “Fuck David in particular.”

[@Showasama60]

I was just saying that!!😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@wya.manuel429]

nah he had to be plottin on him, he stole his blanket when he was born

[@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina]

It's not canon idk who wrote this but obviously there's no resolution to David's plight so it's not canon

[@squidink4887]

The maw just walks up and goes "Lord Thanos. This one guy was born. Idk why I just wanted to tell you that." Then Thanos just goes "Perfect"

[@DemonicRemption]

@marsayde1237 It's worst than that, Thanos tortured this man to impress Death. I can't believe he's that down bad for her.

[@starshot2661]

I'm more impressed that Thanos, with his oversized hands that are wearing gloves, can text real fast on a human phone that's barely the length of his palm.

[@Zion042]

Maybe thanos just used his magic to text this dude lol

[@aalvarez2914]

He’s a Skrull! Dang skrulls..

[@pjhenry1216]

​@@aalvarez2914Thanos and skrulls have a shared ancestor (the deviants), but Thanos isn't a skrull.

[@nivekian]

More "wouldn't it be funny if..." pitching, but missing the plate.

[@aalvarez2914]

@@pjhenry1216 how do you know this one’s not a skull just trying to give Thanos a bad name?

[@allsparky]

I love the idea that Thanos studied his apartment's pipes and blueprints and then chose to specifically grab the water pipe because he knew ahead of time it was a last resort if David ever let himself go like that

[@faded9581]

Well he came in shocked at how little was there to mess up, and during David's monologue we see him examining the ceiling, so it looks like it was just utter improv. Which I think ties back to the theme. Thanos doesn't have a grand plan to David's torture, he does it on the fly just because.

[@Some1Smart]

David: *Breathes for the first time* Thanos: "And I took that personally"

[@elcucuyfeo]

I think David is the closest thing Thanos has to a friend.

[@Whalewraith]

A twisted take on The Sandman & Hob Gadling.

[@bernirn]

God, no. Thanos torture him year after year.

[@shadowofthenorthstar989]

​@Robin_Senaits Thanos's way of having friends

[@readjordan2257]

​@Robin_Senayour friends are no fun. I remember when some of my family mutilated parts of my body for a pre-lunch bought of fun. Then they called it the "Twin Towers" because of how high they lifted me by them. Just how life works

[@UncleJunior1999]

​@@shadowofthenorthstar989 that makes thanos a sadistic narcissist.

[@bgt2848]

You know we really gotta hand it to Thanos. It’s one thing to call yourself evil for the big projects, but those small simple acts of true maniacal evil and meaningless spite is just what defines a man committed to his craft. There is respect in that.

[@kingsylvester6337]

Which is why is say Thanos Is better than Darksied!

[@kennyaero360]

Nahh, these comic sounds like propaganda to make thanos look bad, #thanos.did.nothing.wrong

[@bgt2848]

@@kennyaero360 I kind of have to agree. The child was clearly going to grow up to be the next Hitler or something if thanos did not constantly humble him.

[@iancruz6617]

It went simple to escalated real quick

[@ghastlygibus634]

@@kennyaero360 If MCU Thanos you can say that, but comic Thanos is pure ambition. Everything he did, be it snap half the universe, destroy entire star, constantly harassing others is pretty much a way to get Death attention. You can protect MCU Thanos however you want, but not comic.

[@Fredfredbug4]

The idea that some godlike figure comes around once a year to ruin your life is honestly more evil and horrifying than anything else.

[@KaiTheTyrant]

What’s worse is because it’s so out there and unbelievable, nobody has EVER believed David. Hell, his own mother didn’t seem to believe him and she was surely present the first time Thanos showed.

[@masterjoda999]

@@KaiTheTyrant Actually he waited until the parents left the room, so no, she wasn't present the first time Thanos showed.

[@sircus25]

Not as bad as if it was everyday

[@kingetzel2755]

Then you've been fortunate to be completely unaware of the horrifying things that have actually happened to people. There's definitely evil and worse.

[@Whosaskin]

without any reason, may i add

[@Laucron]

"With a snap of a finger, I will erase half the living beings in the universe and David's grandma"

[@GSPRODUCTIONchannel]

💀

[@Ikcatcher]

It’s kinda inspiring to see David still push forward with life despite literally having the worst luck

[@alicianieto2822]

My thoughts exactly. David rocks

[@apanaama3703]

No, Thanos doesn't care. See him next year.

[@salty-3244]

​@@apanaama3703 if you were in David's shoes, you would give up, while other people wouldn't. This makes you feel insecure and post this

[@therealwilldalbey]

I respect the fact that he goes out of his way to make each one of this random guy's birthdays unique.

[@NeoNik944]

Y'know, literally no one wants their birthdays to be "unique" in that way

[@NeoNik944]

@lemonade3354 if you wanna every birthday lose something you love or just LITERALLY moving your house AWAY from other people because of a giant hole, then you're masochist. and probably 10 times more

[@NeoNik944]

@lemonade3354 I think I said wrong, even masochist people would hate it. Seriously, do YOU want these kinds of birthdays?

[@NeoNik944]

@lemonade3354 "I hope Thanos kills my mom today!" there is surely 1 single dumb person, but its still stupid

[@Ardorstorm]

@lemonade3354Nope

[@Boundlessness]

This has gotta be simultaneously the funniest and saddest comic lmao

[@seewhativescene]

It's funny because all of the white guys are here feeling sorry for David 😂😂 😈Suffer the little children!

[@twinzzlers]

Happy birthday

[@Boundlessness]

@@twinzzlers thanks!

[@Ardorstorm]

@@BoundlessnessYour cat is dead

[@Boundlessness]

@@Ardorstorm Nope, both are rather alive and thriving, but I’ll knock on wood just for caution.

[@aloha8083]

Imagine the only reason Thanos ruins David birthday is the same as Thanos birthday, so Thanos just wanted his birthday wish to ruin someone same birthday.

[@frankeinstein719]

Well, Thanos wasn’t born in the solar system, so he couldn’t have a Earth birthday. Maybe, there is a Universal calendar in Marvel where David’s and Thanos’ birthdays match.

[@SomeKindaHero117]

​@@frankeinstein719Good gods my brain just exploded by remembering we use our Gregorian calendars because we have our sun as reference. What tf is "Tuesday" in space?

[@HeliosOfAtlantis]

@@SomeKindaHero117 Monday.

[@ehouaiscestdwiouaiscestbie2528]

@@frankeinstein719 what do you mean? Thanos was born on Titan, which is a moon of Saturn, which is in the solar system lol

[@frankeinstein719]

@@ehouaiscestdwiouaiscestbie2528 I didn’t know Thanos was born on our Titan moon. But I doubt Saturn does one rotation around the sun in 365 days.

[@MrCheese270]

Thanos just hit David with the “don’t care, didn’t ask” and then flooded his apartment 💀

[@AcademicJaedon]

*thanos

[@MrCheese270]

@@AcademicJaedon Auto correct sorry

[@zeexzr]

We saw the video bro

[@RipePineapples]

​@@zeexzr Nah, I haven't

[@zeexzr]

@@RipePineapples just because of the gyro pfp i wont say anything. One love ♥️ jojo is the best Manga and Anime ever 🫸🫷

[@Ry-qz5wq]

I think the most impressive part is how this cosmic supervillain, remembers David's birthday every year.

[@anitat9727]

He has it in his calendar: Monday: fight superheros. Tuesday: David's birthday be sure to find his cat first

[@JvjfjHghxc]

He has a reminder on his phone.

[@Ishtarru]

Thanos has got to be the single most petty villain in the entire Marvel universe.

[@AnimeProfilePicture]

Reverse Flash levels

[@ssjrana7342]

​@@AnimeProfilePictureHe would be Reverse flash if the memes were true.

[@zeropen0719]

@@ssjrana7342 oh boy it seems you dont know the memes can actually be true because reverse flash has done worse lol.

[@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina]

Little dick energy

[@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina]

It's not canon

[@ZPaul_]

Bro really made him fatherless, killed his friends, burned his school, and put him through a mid life crisis just because he felt like it.

[@Borninthewronguniverse]

lol

[@Davidsethb]

And David is still sane

[@ThePsychosis92]

You forgot the cat..

[@stuartward1755]

Dr Strange: "Once you have all the stones then what?" Thanos: "Well there's this guy named David.."

[@YaBoiKyogre]

Just for the giggles

[@Christmas_Johan]

David could've gone to the avengers and set up a trap for Thanos at any one of his birthdays, but he didnt, because David aint going to snitch on Thanos like that An inspirational friendship

[@EruseanPug]

"Don't drink that. Happy birthday" This is my favorite quote from Thanos

[@KaiTheTyrant]

Why did he listen tho?

[@YukiXKohaku]

@@KaiTheTyrant It seems that he has some kind of reason/will to live (in which he tried to explain to Thanos what was it) but Thanos did not care.

[@averageminecraftenjoyer9419]

@@KaiTheTyrantbro its thanos wtf you gonna do ☠️

[@viix3815]

@@KaiTheTyrant If I was David I would anyways.

[@Coolinjay04]

@@averageminecraftenjoyer9419 die? whats he gonna do then

[@graysonfox4159]

Thanos also picked a different guy and only does nice things on his birthday. All things perfectly balanced.

[@NeoNik944]

Was that even a thing?

[@nickholcomb2220]

Shows up to the other guys house 🙂🎁

[@CoracaoAcidental98]

​@@NeoNik944 As far as I know, no, is just a joke because Thanos in the MCU has this balance ideology, but this is not present in the comics.

[@ClockworkGearhead]

@@NeoNik944 Comic book Thanos was an absolute negative nihilist. Not a chance.

[@hectorhernandezaleman3836]

​@@ClockworkGearheadComic Thanos is a simp, literally his motivation for being evil is wanting to impress lady Death xd.

[@bennyconk]

Thanos is just an embodiment of life

[@eziarc2080]

That is seriously an amazing take for the character in general and makes his love for Death even more powerful

[@reesetwist2290]

Yes 😢

[@DoktrDub]

To this degree? You’d probably have to be extremely unfortunate to think that you have an immortal villain constantly torturing you from behind the scenes 😂

[@Night_Raptor_5991]

Fr

[@tyler403]

​@Robin_Senaare you mentally disabled? Sorry let me rephrase that. You are mentally disabled

[@CQCGRID]

"Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to ruin David's Birthday..."

[@godfather855]

From stealing his blanket to killing his dad. That's character development at 100%💀

[@generalowen4344]

Movie thanos: there are no enough resources for creatures so i have to wipe half of them Comic thanos: *casually wastes resources for not a single reason*

[@primarchvulkan5097]

Well comic thanos was only trying to kill everyone because he is a simp for lady death

[@AnimeProfilePicture]

In his Thanos copter

[@AnimeProfilePicture]

​@@primarchvulkan5097old school cartoon Thanos was an even bigger simp

[@RedCommunistDragon]

Imagine MCU Thanos’s horror if he actually met his comic book self.

[@kilerog]

MCU Thanos just has a really shitty understanding of logistics and a ridiculous obsession with his grad school thesis. Comic book Thanos doesn't give a shit about any of that and, instead, is literally in love with Death to the point that he's willing to kill everything in order to prove his love to her.

[@kingsylvester6337]

How is Thanos not the most EVIL comic book villian after this? Darksied would never.

[@SomeAngryGuy1997]

Yeah, even Darkseid would cringe at this simping.

[@Kodama867]

Because Professor Zoom/Reverse Flash takes this kind of torture and puts a petty as shit reasoning behind it. It isn't enough for him to do it on Barry's birthdays, he orchestrates EVERY bad thing that ever happens to Barry as being done by HIS hand so that he can ruin Flash's life.

[@ikhwanmauaja1184]

Well, joker also did it

[@AxeMan808]

Darkseid has neither the energy nor the organizational skills to commit to something this long-term.

[@JohnnySukuna]

​​@@SomeAngryGuy1997y man what are your apprehension skills? How's this simping?

[@zuxx00]

I love that all his life, he never thought to ask the Avengers for help? Thanos is following a pretty consistent schedule.

[@eliasbram3710]

they would probably think the dude is making a story to pass the day with the avengers...besides, contacting them seems harder than speaking to The president

[@sirkillalot9892]

​@@eliasbram3710Although all the terrible events can't exactly be a coincidence. Everyone who died. Poisoned alcohol

[@xavierrivera3407]

@@eliasbram3710 I dont think you can fake Thanos making a worm whole around your house, lol. Quite frankly it’s amazing that they haven’t come to him at tis point

[@Kugrox]

@@eliasbram3710 yeah all you gotta do is pretend to be a transgender and you get an automatic audience with the president

[@orochinagis]

He said no one believes him

[@2gotsomefries]

"david i don't care, see you next year"😂😂

[@Andernol]

The "I don't care. See you next year" in response to David trying to monologue has me in tears I'm laughing so hard. I don't know why I got recommended this video. I've never read the marvel comics, or even seen the movies, but I might have to change that after this. Holy shit I'm glad I clicked on this.

[@ReaIHuman]

The fucked up thing is, even if David killed himself, Thanos would bring him back from the dead just out of spite.

[@santosic]

On his birthday, no less, as some poetic shit or something lol. But yeah, Thanos would bend all of spacetime and reality just to bring him back I'm sure, at this point lol.

[@YataTheFifteenth]

​@@santosic"Happy re-birthday David, see you next year."

[@Rosetintedwater]

​@@YataTheFifteenthnah thanos won't bring him back In time for that one.

[@GiacomoSorbi]

Gotta hand it to David: he definitely seems rather chill and used to that giant purple man that killed his father and several other people, whereas most people would just freak out and scream until they lose consciousness. Thanos should try to cosplay as Chtulhu for his next birthday.

[@seewhativescene]

🥴I always thought Cthulhu stood for cracking the hell up🫠I'm high AF don't mind me

[@twinzzlers]

​@@seewhativesceneGet off the drugs dude

[@desmo-ciel]

And next the Wall of Flesh

[@Buphido]

Well, he knows there’s nothing he can do to Thanos, but he also knows that Thanos isn’t going to kill him. He grew up with Thanos too, so it’s not like it’s a new evil that came into his life once he was older. At this point it makes sense thar he‘s just despondent and passionless about Thanos, because he‘s just kinda like bad luck personified to him that strikes consistently on the same day each year and the only thing he can do is brace for it and accept it.

[@MasterMCGS]

​@@Buphidoor end his own life, but theres the time stone sooo

[@Kagamid]

David is the only consistent thing Thanos has in his life. Everyone under his command wonders where he goes every year. But he always comes back a little happier. When the chips are down, he always has David to cheer him up.

[@Lumberjack_king]

Damm

[@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina]

But is David cheered up by Thanos?

[@PonikoRoblox]

​@@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina of course, thanos congratulates him for his birthday!

[@DirtyBobBojangles]

​@@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina Why do you think he's still alive?

[@drizzo4669]

Everyone should have a hobby. Someone once said this to Thanos. David has been regretting it ever since.

[@HeWhoMurksWithOneLeap]

Now if only Thanos would start tormenting Paul on his birthday every year.

[@agentchaos9332]

Thanos might physically resemble Darkseid, but this level of petty more like Reverse Flash 😂

[@nathanaelswanson9010]

Nah, RF can't help himself. Barry's in his head, he's an obsession and an addiction. Reverse Flash HAS to torment the speedster. Thanos could quit this anytime he wants. But this is a hobby. One day a year, a little note on his calendar. It's just healthy fun.

[@seewhativescene]

When you're older I'll explain how Marvel/DC mirrors Roman/Greek mythology

[@agentchaos9332]

@@seewhativescene I'm 28, but cool...

[@slugintub634]

​@@seewhativescenetf does that have to do with anything

[@OrDiogo]

​@@nathanaelswanson9010I wasn't having a good day, sorry.

[@freddypedraza2066]

Would have been hilarious if Loki covered for Thanos on David's 30th birthday

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

"Tell me Thanos, why should I help you at all?" "Look, I'm not asking you to fight with me, but there's this guy named David who I always make sure to screw over every year on his birthday. I need you to do that." "Why?" "It's funny." "Fair point. Alright, I'll cover for you this one time."

[@crimson_rory]

@@lordpumpkinhead265 it would be wholesome for them to become some type of friends

[@melkhiordarkfell4354]

Ironically that year was probably the worst because it gave him hope.

[@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina]

​@@crimson_roryno it wouldn't. Thanos is so little energy dick and pathetic its impossible to watch this video without becoming extremely depressed. Thanos is just pathetic. What makes other villains like Joker good is that on some tiny level you're rooting for them or instead at least understand them in some way

[@indie_gamer7]

@@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina You rot for the Joker? The guy fhat beat the shit out of Jason and the guy that started working at the IRS after Batmans death?

[@zedinred2886]

Breaking the water main when he has nothing else is a beautiful bit of creativity from Thanos

[@EeveelutionStorm]

Makes his entire apartment and landlord hate him too.

[@welpimf0cked654]

Reverse flash in the corner: Write that down!! WRITE THAT DOWN!!!

[@mightyr6569]

Perfect analogy as Thanos is the Marvel writing team and David is Spiderman

[@brandocalrissian3294]

It's the little moments of cruelty that really mean the most. Sure, wiping out entire planets is great, but messing with dave once a year just hits different.

[@stevenmattrell3448]

Thanos: “Your cat is dead” David: “Let me guess, you killed him?” Thanos: “Actually, no. I was just going to clog your toilets and leave your apartment a complete mess. Looked like your cat had a heart attack or something.” David: … Thanos: “On the plus side, I don’t have to do anything to you this year.”

[@coltonwilliams4153]

David: … Thanos: But, I went ahead and clogged your toilet anyways. Happy birthday.

[@EeveelutionStorm]

@@coltonwilliams4153 David: Why- Thanos: Because I knew you were getting taco bell. LIVE MAS

[@SleepyBoi-b5q]

@@coltonwilliams4153 Bro 💀💀

[@gaalov]

I don't know why I always imagine David seeing Thanos as Anakin and yelling at him as Anakin in episode 3: I HATE YOU

[@OC-bj8pu]

I knew what was going to happen, yet I still laughed really, really hard at the delivery of "David, I don't care!" 😂.

[@MarvinPowell1]

_"Trolling isn't something one considers when balancing the universe. But this... Does put a smile on my face. Now stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!"_

[@globurim]

This is what true evil is like. Not doing it as a necessary evil or for selfish gains but just doing it for absolutely no reason.

[@FiltyIncognito]

Honestly, this guy has had a bigger impact in foiling Thanos than most. Think of all the time Thanos has had to waste visiting and thinking about him over the years. If the guy was smart, he could totally turn this into his own kind of super power. Fake being a bag guy and get himself close to some bad people, so that when Thanos comes by he ruins those bad people and all their plans. Just gotta balance the bad stuff he does in the interim with all the bad people and plans ruined by Thanos' intervention.

[@vittocrazi]

Im pretty sure thanos knows the Guy to a personal level and thats why he can screw him over consistantly. Ive got the feeling thanos would see through the poker face

[@FiltyIncognito]

I mean, he of all people would be pretty primed for really committing to the bit. He has nothing left to lose that he hasn't already, and more than enough to be spiteful for to stop empathizing with the lesser plights of other. If he committed to the effort as a meaning to his life, he could endure to genuinely become a crook while holding true to his direction as a double agent.

[@Samlazolo]

If Thanos is truly committed to ruin all his birthdays, then david could purposefully get himself in trouble with other villains and Thanos would have to take care of it so he can continues ruining David's life

[@Rojum55]

I think he just uses David as a venting mechanism, every year heroes from Earth and other parts of the universe ruin his plans in some capacity, so much like we humans use sports, movies, or video games to vent our issues, HE USES DAVID. It gives an edorphin rush knowing that no matter how many times he fails in his mission, his life will never be as miserable as the person who dreads the day of his birth every year, constantly in agony over the very idea that his existence is cursed by a being that is beyond powerful. Sucks to be him. Happy Birthday David!

[@SomeAngryGuy1997]

Actually, it's something far dumber than that. Thanos does this because he simps for Death.

[@CalvinKalisto]

@@SomeAngryGuy1997 I heard about that, honestly that makes him a million times less cool.

[@tristanband4003]

​@@CalvinKalistomeanwhile lady death just digs deadpool

[@deathgorilla782]

@@SomeAngryGuy1997 nah

[@SomeAngryGuy1997]

@@deathgorilla782 Denial? Maybe you should read the comics.

[@Ghostly2z]

So the Avengers or any other heroes just didn't notice all of this going down

[@Ihavenohandle....]

I was wondering that myself, why not go find a hero for assistance I'm sure they'd believe him.

[@Rojum55]

I think it adds to the casuality of it all. The fact that on David's birthday, SOMEHOW, all the superheroes on Earth are too busy to help him. We even see that on the single day he was able to escape Thanos, was when all the heroes had to fight him on Earth, meaning that some big event happens outside of his life. Whether it be fighting Magneto, or stopping Hydra, or coralling Mister Sinister, something happens that puts them all on a busy schedule, leaving him wide open for Thanos to screw over. Kinda fucked up when you think about it.

[@EmilyFanta69]

its a singular human who lives alone with no friends claiming thanos is torturing him every year on his birthday for 3 decades thats not a very believable situation

[@EmilyFanta69]

@@Ihavenohandle.... 1 He'd have to do it on his birthday. 2 He'd have to get the hero before Thanos appears. 3 He'd have to convince a hero to stop their heroic work to stay the day with him until Thanos appears. 4 He'd have to be lucky to get all of the above to go smoothly and that doesn't even mention thanos probably keeps tabs on him so he could literally make his life even worse by not doing anything, by thanos's inaction he literally makes all heroes immediately not trust him and his pleas.

[@EmilyFanta69]

Would you help me if I told you every day on my birthday Trump appeared just to cop a feel on me and wish me a happy birthday

[@Yng_Roshi]

When Thanos is finally defeated in Endgame, David is going to be paranoid after the missing birthdays but when he realizes Thanos is truly gone he will be happiest he has ever been in his life.

[@De329an]

It's not movie Thanos

[@Ripplistic]

No one dies in comics

[@DrCureAging]

Thanos is just a metaphor for life in this case. We wonder why bad things happen but there's no reason. No greater purpose. It just happens for no reason and it takes everything away

[@kermitgotthesickkicks4265]

It really is like that and it sucks.

[@logandunlap9156]

what a shitty lesson, if that’s the case. if that was the lesson, i think david’s life would continue to get better past all the harassment to show that life is worth living despite that kind of bullshit, but i’m seeing comments that say this is just an annual gag

[@awesomespurr3606]

Out of all the things Thanos could have done, swapping the fruit punch with grimace shake was the most vile one.

[@eren34558]

Have you tried it

[@johnnysalery7383]

The image of Thanos sending bad texts to David’s girlfriend is too funny lmao

[@seewhativescene]

I thought Thanos was going to fuck David's girl and make him watch 😔 disappointed

[@SupHapCak]

If David was smart he would have ditched the phone and bought a new one that day, then show up like “I had to buy a new phone mine got stolen” if he wanted to keep her around but he probably was like “this is for the best”

[@Davidsethb]

@@SupHapCak I mean thanos gonna do something about that on his next birthday

[@Z5-XB]

@@SupHapCakif anything Thanos would’ve probably came up with killing his girlfriend if the break up thing didn’t work

[@jahigains9201]

Man, David, contact somebody for help. You think the Avengers wouldn't be happy to know exactly where Thanos was gonna be once a year? That information is worth more than gold.

[@Vacerous]

I don't think even the Avengers would believe this level of evil possible.

[@therookie5714]

They wouldn’t believe him

[@xxx_jim_the_reaper_xxx]

​@@therookie5714 They won't, yeah. In DC Flash, Barry also has nobody to help him when Thawne is out there ruining his days.

[@aguilazombieXD]

That would be really smart actually... but you know, script convenience...

[@seewhativescene]

Who cares about the avengers when we got to watch the Infinity Torment play out🪬😃🍿

[@reinxraidenchannel9807]

I love that David thinks Thanos him fired, but Thanos only killed his cat. Thanos just didn't take the credit, he basically told David that he was bad at his job.

[@OHG_Fawx]

There is another human that Thanos gives good surprises to on their birthday. Balanced, as all things should be.

[@jordanwatts8990]

This is literally one of the funniest things I have ever seen

[@TheMonkeygoneape]

its right up there with Santa always delivering coal to Apokolypse for Darkseid every Christmas and he can never stop him

[@swollasaurusflex7671]

Not for David

[@aguilazombieXD]

thats psycho bro...

[@seewhativescene]

David on the burner account be like ​@@swollasaurusflex7671

[@seewhativescene]

Ohhhhhh, Poor You! You're lucky Thanos doesn't know when your birthday is ​@@aguilazombieXD

[@chrisdaniels6174]

David is about to give a Leonidas 300 speech. Thanos cuts him off by purposely flooding the man's apartment. Then says he literally gives no fuvks and bounces 😂😂😂 The thanos voice over is what makes this video the elite among many.

[@Boywhoisheadcrab]

Honestly Thanos is just the higher leveled version of the one homie who just gotta throw a prank at you all the time

[@SuperSpyArmyGuy]

"David I don't care, see you next year!"

[@bbenjoe]

"When life gives you Thanos, make lemons."

[@unwornseal159]

This is Reverse Flash levels of petty

[@redram6080]

It was me Dave

[@TheDarkLordoftheSiff]

@@redram6080 I untied your shoe on your first day of wok, causing you to trip and miss your bus

[@P1nkNebula]

Nah bro that’s beyond RF

[@E_D___]

RF is super petty to flash because he can't kill him. As killing him would lead to a paradox that would stop RF from being able to kill the flash. Thanos does this for literally no reason

[@simplydoodled]

This is the saddest, most depressing, and most mesmerizing thing I've ever watched. This makes me want to cry so badly but I can't. My heart goes out to you David. (I mean, the video is still funny, but the concept freaks me out)

[@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina]

I think everyone in the comments is laughing so they don't cry. Not that I'm crying but this video just makes me extremely depressed

[@quanleanh6548]

Right? Imagine getting everyone you care about in your life killed. I mean people keep saying Thanos is just life but life is rarely ever harsh enough that all of your friends, dreams and hope dies prematurely. The birthday massacre is really disturbing. Sure everyone eventually pass away but there's a big difference between seeing your friends and acquantainces dies of old age, and seeing them dies at 21-45.

[@blueizumi]

@@quanleanh6548 right people are saying they found this funny but this just made me depressed especially with how hopeless he got towards his mid 30s :(

[@SoloQueueSuffering]

David's gonna be on his deathbed and Thanos is gonna show up with the Time Stone

[@GSPRODUCTIONchannel]

'Thought you were escaping me David? "

[@Gasnarft]

Spider-Mans writers have competition 💀💀💀

[@Irishcrossing]

Thanos: Soon, my meticulous plans will come together, and I shall conquer the stars and everything in it. None shall oppose me, none shall survive, the goddess of death herself shall be my bride. All shal... Oh shit it's david's birthday, put everything on pause. I gotta see my buddy.

[@michaelolmos8257]

handsome jack, the joker, reverse flash and Chris mclean would all applaud to thanos for his masterwork of bullying every year for his "best friend"

[@definitelynotCmdrShepard]

I'm sorry but the image of Thanos causally poking his head over the top of an office cubicle is sending me 😂😂😂😂

[@sweeneagle16]

It’s like David’s pain is simply Thanos’s hobby.

[@Vacerous]

Lol Hobby Lobby was out of model ships for him to build.

[@Yipper64]

I wonder if Thanos saved David from the snap in order to continue this whole thing.

[@quiteslayer4067]

Absolutely 😂

[@frankwest5388]

Knowing this comic, one time David will be so desperate that he kills himself just to escape. Only for Thanos to use the gauntlet to not just revive him, but also change it so his death certificate never existed, leaving everyone to believe that David just disappeared and didn’t pay his bills for half a year

[@Derevocsidi]

Even if David , dies Thanos will use time stone and torture him on hir birthday and it goes on forever

[@Reptego]

Thanos: *Gets out of chair* “You know what? I hate David.”

[@somedumbspammer4408]

1:50 "DAVID I DON'T CARE, SEE YOU NEXT YEAR" **happy music resumes as david drowns in his house**

[@ValoGamingLive]

The most funny shit I saw in like a week or two

[@Rice8003]

With the door open.

[@Kugrox]

@@Rice8003 yeah i dont understand that. maybe he sat there and let the water build up, and then opened the door, so the water would rush out without drowning him. sometimes we do a little water boarding

[@thegoose1005]

​@@Kugrox i mean its thanos, he could reality stone it so the water doesn't flow out- that is if he still has the gauntlet at this point

[@pango8143]

*glub glub noise*

[@michaelcraff]

Thanos seriously deserves a brick to the face! What a jerk this guy is to do that.

[@MoodyBluesRequiem80]

Fr

[@pn2294]

It wouldn’t hurt him😅

[@michaelcraff]

@@pn2294 it would if it was Galactus who threw it!

[@channel45853]

​@@michaelcraffGalactus could just eat him, a Titan is made from a planet so it would be kinda the same thing, right?

[@michaelcraff]

@@channel45853 I want to see Thanos suffer the pain he has given others! So no, it's not the same thing.

[@AngeloJonah]

Imagine if Thanos just stopped what he was doing in order to not miss a birthday 😂 Like he's there with Gamora about to retrieve the Soul stone and he's suddenly like "Wait, it's David's birthday tomorrow... Daughter I have to go. Wait here for like, I dunno, 24 hours. I'll be right back, promise."

[@dragonmage372]

@MrWesdotcom THAT'S IT, THAT'S WHAT HE WAS REALLY SACRIFICING WHEN HE THREW GAMORA OFF THE CLIFF

[@aeroga2383]

Now this is peak comedy. I need to see more this writer's works

[@reduxcity]

The idea that Thanos could be doing literally ANYTHING else, but carves out time once every year to torment David is just… maybe he is the greatest villain ever

[@UltimateSpider1385]

Thanos: "perfectly balanced, as all things should be." David: "kill me, please!!!" Thanos: "why? We're just getting started."

[@seewhativescene]

Ledger's Joker & Gustavo Fring energy prolonging suffering of your nemesis to savor the little emotions😌

[@handleonafridge6828]

This feels like something the Joker would do, except the Joker would probably go way farther than Thanos does.

[@felixjohnson3874]

It literally is and he literally did

[@ianfinrir8724]

Joker spent like a year living in some guy's house to drive the guy crazy

[@cobra8888]

David: Thanos is torturing me Nebula: Welcome to the club.

[@huntercool2232]

0:23 Jokes on Thanos! He actually did David a solid on his 16th Birthday. If a girl you’re dating immediately believed you would say things like that to her behind a phone screen for no reason at all, and still not believe you when you try to explain that someone else took your phone and wrote that just to be mean then she has trust issues. Plus she told David that she hoped he DIED on his freaking birthday so clearly she wasn’t very mature either and deep down was pretty cruel. Thanos spared you David!

[@Traumglanz]

So another case of #thanosdidnothingwrong ?

[@ernestorivas3764]

To play devil's advocate (though David actually tried to explained things as you said), what would you think if suddenly your partner texts you insults or something like that: -He/she revealed his/her true colors -Somebody else took the phone and made the mean messages -Your partner is drunk -Other possibility

[@DirtyBobBojangles]

Or maybe what Thanos said was just THAT CRAZY

[@DarkEcho32]

​@@ernestorivas3764I'd immediately know it wasn't them without the explanation because it's completely out of character???

[@talibadams7489]

Thanos the Jobless, Thanos the Invisible

[@Puavatherapper]

Nahh, not thanos bullying a person named david for his whole life just for his own entertainment 💀

[@kratosboy5557]

Imagine being bullied by a man who got rejected by death

[@toradrow777]

You know, after seeing MCU Thanos snap away half of all life in the universe, I can't help but think "What a petty little man-child this guy is."

[@atomic747]

I mean The whole infinity gaunlet thing was all because Thanos was a simp for lady death.

[@StreyX]

There was a major de-escalation from the 5th birthday to his 16th and then a rapid escalation afterwards.

[@huntercool2232]

0:48 Actually he literally says he didn’t get David fired. That was just bad luck. But he did still kill his cat. 💀💀

[@TheBurningWarrior]

MCU Thanos be like "I torture him every year on his birthday, so he can appreciate the other ~364.25 days of the year; aren't I swell?"

[@LordNifty]

Thanos really is a weird cross of Darkseid and the Joker.

[@williamhiggins8906]

not joker more like reverse flash

[@AgentB-0711]

If David ever gets powers, there will be hell to pay

[@begobolehsjwjangan2359]

David awakened golden wind requiem and make Thanos experience death in infinite loop.

[@sonicdash761]

@@begobolehsjwjangan2359*The true ending.*

[@logandunlap9156]

david gets washed anyways, thanos would probably find a way to hard counter, if not entirely invalidate his powers and then destroy the roof over david’s head or something

[@JewelxxetPierre]

This cements Thanos as the pettiest villain of all time, arguably more petty than reverse flash.

[@JustWatchingVideo56]

Thanos: *kills David’s dad* Comments: He’s just petty

[@BrenTenkage]

damn this is as evil as Darkseid sitting on people's chairs

[@beauregardheer]

This is my new favorite comic channel I'm hoping these continue for years to come

[@thecorrectoification]

I'm picturing Thanos laying on a therapist couch and the therapist saying: "and are you seeing this David in the room with us right now?"

[@JupiterMan_sodoe]

"Fuck this one person in particular" - Thanos probably..

[@zulgothkremvh8438]

The perfect villain torments a random person for no reason every birthday. Still more amusing than farmer thanos.

[@theencryptedpartition4633]

Imagine being bullied by Thanos. At least, the only thing he did to David’s girlfriend was to sending her bad texts…

[@guhhhh]

BPC action could've taken place

[@EirPlen]

​@@guhhhhNOOoooOOO

[@KNullHypothesis]

@@guhhhh Glad to know we're both freaks of nature

[@logandunlap9156]

you don’t know that

[@SupHapCak]

Lol BPC