The #1 Dating MISTAKE That’s Keeping You Single! | Nick Viall

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Nick Viall is an LA-based award-winning podcast host, best-selling author, entrepreneur, and a familiar face from ABC’s “The Bachelor”. He has also carved a niche for himself as a contemporary voice in the world of dating advice. His podcast, "The Viall Files," is a treasure trove of insights on relationships and pop culture, amassing over 100 million downloads.
In this episode Nick discusses how to distinguish between seeking validation and experiencing true love, strategies for moving on gracefully from a relationship and overcoming heartbreak, future predictions for the dating world and advice for maintaining authenticity in relationships.
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:03:03 - Lessons Learned from Love Relationships
00:06:00 - Love, Ego, and Relationships
00:09:02 - The Difference Between Validation and Love
00:11:53 - The Switch from Seeking Validation to Acceptance
00:15:01 - Holding on to Pain and Relationships
00:17:54 - Letting Loose and Making Bad Decisions
00:20:45 - Overcoming a Breakup with Grace
00:23:49 - Accepting the Loss and Moving On
00:26:41 - Stuck in the Past
00:29:33 - The Danger of Seeking Validation on Social Media
00:32:30 - Prioritizing in a Relationship
00:35:24 - The Importance of Compatibility in Relationships
00:38:31 - Red flags to look out for when dating someone.
00:41:35 - Accepting Love and Self-Love
00:44:27 - Embracing Imperfections and Overcoming Fear
00:47:22 - The Importance of Reinventing Yourself
00:50:07 - Teaching Values and Self-Worth
00:53:19 - Teaching Love and Value Without Toxicity
00:56:32 - The Lost Art of Communication
00:59:21 - Prioritizing Connection in Relationships
01:02:13 - The Power of Intention
01:05:16 - The Most Meaningful Thing
01:08:10 - The Importance of Resiliency in Overcoming Challenges
#greatness #inspiration #motivation

[@lewishowes]

Thanks to Nick for sharing his expertise! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again KZbin.com/lewishowes

[@rogier151]

Can’t wait

[@lewishowes]

Thank you 🧡

[@josmith9789]

@lewishowes The missing ingredient: I think the different attachment styles need to be part of these discussions. Some people are just not going to do the work to change their learned attachment styles that cause a great detriment to their romantic relationships.

[@veronicabrooks6433]

Yes. Excellent interview. I love me some Nick Viall, so insightful re relationships

[@Jade-ms2ys]

Surprised you have this guy on your show as some relationship advice guy. Really. He still cannot handle a mature relationship .... funny how many people think how insightful he is.... I wish him well but really now....

[@MandyJRoss]

If you’re reading this I’m praying you receive the highest form of love. You deserve the best.❤

[@ashleyglover8219]

Needed this ❤❤❤

[@celinebosse6043]

I’ve followed Nick on the Bachelorette and on the Bachelor and listen to his podcasts as well. I applaud Nick for being this vulnerable and to share with us his life struggles and what he’s learned from them. It took strength and resiliency.

[@mikediz5900]

Agreed! ❤

[@lewishowes]

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to check out the interview! 🧡

[@marianapretti2866]

YES! My biggest moment in this interview was to stop seeking out validation and start looking for love instead

[@user-hf4jl2ni7k]

As a woman in her early 20s it was refreshing and inspirational even to see two men who just get it. Two men, talking about topics some might deem too “soft” for men to speak about. Thank you for spreading the word.

[@susanphillips8392]

Beautiful podcast. Insightful. I didn't know there are men that put this much thought into healthy relationships. This helps me understand that I can have and want someone who values this. Thanks.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@wild3812]

‘The pain doesn’t mean they were special’ WOW just WOW

[@josmith9789]

The missing ingredient: I think the different attachment styles need to be part of these discussions. Some people are just not going to do the work to change their learned attachment styles that cause a great detriment to their romantic relationships.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

agreed! ❤

[@michelefisher5171]

This is what the ego does. The ego can be an integral part of the self that often has to do with self-image and may mediate between instinctual desires and the external world. While the ego may help individuals control their emotions and thoughts, a weakened or underdeveloped ego may contribute to mental health

[@anuradhabanerjee9315]

Yes, certainly. Aa usual, another amazing interview!! Thanks a bunch 💐

[@devonways1657]

This was great stuff. Thanks Nick and Lewis!

[@annb8296]

Awesome Podcast Nick and Lewis 💖. I agree with you and appreciate the importance you put on being resilient in life Nick. Indeed where would any of us be if we lost even one challenge or opportunity, etc. and never got back up again. Instead of giving a loss the power to defeat us for the rest of our lives we can look at it as an opportunity to figure out a way to resolve this situation. Some have done it by accepting the loss and finally being okay with it by moving forward. Some have not looked at it as a loss but as something temporarily unsolved so they put it to the side to be further worked on. Some have watched as a loss turns into a glorious event they never could have imagined. We must just never allow ourselves to suffer a permanent defeat in life when there's still so much to learn and enjoy here on earth, nature, animals, food that's so good to eat, good books to read, a nice person like ourself who may end up being our best friend in the future though we haven't even met yet. Thanks for spreading positivity guys. It's so awesome seeing more and more channels like yours and hearing stories of people all over the world who want to see positive role models and positive values instilled in both our children and adults. So thank you so much 🙂💖

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@annb8296]

@@lewishowes Thank you so much! 🙂💖

[@aprilgarner1228]

Thank you Lewis for all of the high quality content you provide! Love it! This interview with Nick was so insightful for both women and men! Appreciate you guys as good quality men!

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@saniaayesha5745]

Yes and thank u for making video on this topic.

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@clairenicholls8024]

Grateful for Nick Viall! Taught me a lot about relationships advice. Thank you ! New subscriber here! 🙋🏼‍♀️

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@lewishowes]

Thanks for being here!

[@celinebosse6043]

I’ve heard the word « hard » so many times in this interview. If we use the messages from the book The Secret, if we want life be easy, our vocabulary should be in line with that. So life does have its challenges, but if we want it to be easy and fun, let’s change the way we talk about it. Life is good!

[@jasminewu5148]

Love the great questions you ask, Lewis! Those are interesting interview questions that brought out the core values and introspection of the guest!👏

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@brunogoncalves3305]

Scary...i can relate to everything in this interview...❤

[@fishinthesea3454]

Please share more! Ideas to keep us single!

[@richardwburrill9247]

Both aree kind and wise. and humble. And it's a little new

[@pattyleong902]

Love the Sour Patch analogy!!! So true! Great show Lewis!

[@lewishowes]

Thanks for being here!

[@jewelfewel]

YES. So much can be learned from Nick's experience. The entire conversation was a big moment. First time viewer, glad I found your channel

[@lewishowes]

Welcome to the community!!!

[@evas1968]

Excellent conservation. Thank you

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@Luzyanela19]

Spectacular, keep going Luis happy anniversary, you have helped a lot of people, in the same way for me it was a great help in all areas of my life 🤗 🤗 🤗 my first mentor are rewarding your podcast blessings....

[@lewishowes]

Thank you!

[@shakespearemonologue]

Very powerful and heartfelt interview. Thank you both!

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@cellanddanielle]

The validation part was amazingly explained. I think we can all look around us and see who needs it the most. Thank you

[@lewishowes]

🙌

[@ebstudio9525]

NIck is the modern day relationship guru and I'm here for it! His advice has changed the way I communicate with my loved ones. 😍😍😍

[@lewishowes]

Glad this was helpful for you🧡

[@rajivraymarnooliphant6269]

My review of this podcast has to be a 5 star! Such informative knowledge being shared Each and every episode. Thoroughly enjoy learning and growing after every drop.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@B.Weiser]

Great interview

[@mandoman7626]

Amazing episode. You continue to have great guests Lewis! Great job!

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you and your support🧡

[@larainememola4374]

Great interview Nick!!! So many wonderful points made!!! Wish I had you as a counselor when I was young!!

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@LatinRoses]

I thought this was going to be another video that really doesn’t give any golden nuggets But, your guest, really learned a lot. And, I learned a lot too😊🌹🌹🌹😍

[@lewishowes]

👍

[@brunogoncalves3305]

Really good ...thank you so much Lewis 😊

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@BDE1969]

I’m impressed! Great podcast the best one I’ve ever listened to!❤❤

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@renette0506]

I think that you have an opportunity to continue to connect with Nick, he's beginning to become someone who has the capacity to grow into someone great. Maybe listen to the Wane Dyer (who many of us know VERY well) and find what draws you into being a significant power in creating what comes next.

[@Lczzy]

🙌 truth about comparability 🙌

[@user-uh6qi7wy3c]

Perfect interview like always ❤

[@lewishowes]

Thank you!

[@user-ml1eh4oj3f]

I like your videos very much thank you for these wonderful videos you make and share

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@MariaRodrigues-sf9pv]

Im so excited for this❤

[@lewishowes]

Thank you!

[@patrickorourke41]

One of the most important lessons I learned from Nick is this. When couples break up, someone is always going to be the villain in the story, and that’s the reality of breaking up.

[@darryllartey2776]

It's not necessarily true that someone has to be the villain when couples break up. Sometimes relationships end simply because the two people involved are not compatible or because of circumstances beyond their control. Blaming one person as the villain oversimplifies the complexity of relationships.

[@Dan-dc1wj]

Wishing I could've watched this in my younger 20's!! Great vid!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

better late than never! ❤

[@lewishowes]

Thanks for being here!

[@blancawolford3958]

❤ this episode!

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@damilolasowunmi3507]

I 💯 percent understand what he's talking about...

[@lewishowes]

Thanks for being here!

[@superwomanhj]

I listen to this podcast for self improvement. I listen to Nick’s podcast for bachelor entertainment… totally my vice. It’s interesting to see these two worlds collide!!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

super interesting! ❤

[@ConnieChan-jj9kr]

Lewis Howes you are a phenomenal listener ❤! Goals!

[@lewishowes]

🙌

[@toniauciello8333]

Fantastic interview 💕

[@lewishowes]

Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂

[@tinuvi]

Great!!. I'm watching from Ghana.🥰😇

[@lewishowes]

Thanks for being here!

[@kittthompson]

This really resonated for me. The porn industry is a $97 bn industry; social media is advancing exponentially and in turn women are auto-objectifying themselves due to men objectifying them. Couple this with internet dating and we’re swiping across each other like we don’t have rich layered lives with passions and interests. We’re not taking time to get to know each other or to work on things. If something is an ‘ick’, we move on to the next thing while we view each other as body parts or validation for our egos. We’re lacking true intimacy and connection.

[@natasharivard5118]

I love all the knowledge shared here sadly i see it’s mostly women watching these ... and I believe we all need to learn to let go of the ego although mostly men in my experiences yet they’d never watch these or even give it a real listen :( how do we change that ??? Nick congrats to you and your fiancé . Best Wishes ❤

[@pigglet802]

I wish I had the maturity and no ego in my 20’s! Ego is the enemy, by Ryan Holiday is a great read.

[@Alexlittle9]

*”You can always learn from misfortune and challenges”* 💫🔥💯

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@Alexlittle9]

@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 🩷

[@Luzyanela19]

❤❤❤❤Excelente gracias 😊

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@NathalyTannerBeauty]

This was good. ❤

[@lewishowes]

Thank you!

[@traceymustaca4998]

Being in disposable relationships...makes sense.

[@user-uh6qi7wy3c]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 thank you

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@christina80997]

I may not know this guy, but dang his insight is fascinating 💯

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@craigosterberg5045]

Thanks

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@NikHocks]

56 mins in they start saying things Gabor mate has been saying for quite some time generational trauma we have been passed down with! Wow so fascinating great interview!

[@carolyngarner7054]

I have boundaries, which lets the person know if you step on those lines, please accept the consequences and use the blame game with me.

[@traceymustaca4998]

Many can be self sabatoging. Hooking up is bad. The validation kick like a sour patch kid is a really good analogy...

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

A lot of men are taught hooking up is a sign of them being macho and a high value person. Not true! ❤

[@emperorjoshuakingofkingsea6227]

Yo Lewis love your quotes. I would love to see interview. It cool to see you interview a dyslexic person one day. like the founder of made by Dyslexia over some other Dyslexia person.

[@lengl1125]

Fun fact....Nick is dyslexic!

[@imaanhanif8863]

He describes a trauma bond in all his relationships and how he would struggle to prove he is worthy of this love. I think my man's a codependent. Which tells me he might not have witnessed the best relationship growing up. Or he witnessed his mum probably getting taken advantage of since he says his mum used to tell him 'love is special and you have to fight for them'. Very interesting

[@Sparkyzachchannel.]

It really doesn’t matter if your single alot of people now a days want to be single tbh

[@user-xe7bv2dw8n]

im saying im not worthy its neva good enough

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

This is a core wound and not true! You can reprogram this. You are worthy and good enough! We all are ❤

[@saniaayesha5745]

Plz again call Rhonda Byron.

[@traceymustaca4998]

So what happens when already been in an unsuccessful relationship but have a baby? How to find someone who can really be your mate despite past?

[@susanphillips8392]

❤

[@lewishowes]

Thanks for being here!

[@michelefisher5171]

That’s not what an ego is. Sorry. The I’m not good enough comes from your thoughts. Not the ego.

[@traceymustaca4998]

Why is he not married then?

[@annb8296]

He's engaged.