The Arranged Marriage Guide: Episode 1

In this new long form series, we will be taking up the most commonly asked questions around arranged marriage.
This Episode 1 tackles 3 questions: What questions to ask in the first few meetings of arranged marriage, how to filter candidates on the basis of those interactions, and how big a role does family play in the arranged marriage process.
We cover the idea of searching for your own core values, and non-negotiables while looking for a partner. We also try to explain what they mean with examples.
Over the last 2 years, we have been asked many questions about how you both made your arranged marriage successful. That too when you both were working professionals
Over a series of videos, we will try to showcase our frame of mind when we decided to get into the arranged marriage filtering process and tried to find the ideal partner of our dream
The most common questions that we get asked are “How to smartly find the right partner in an arranged marriage”, or “What questions to ask before marrying someone”, a lot of boys are scared of even meeting girls for arranged marriages. Especially during the courtship period what should we check in a partner? Everyone wants to avoid the common mistakes in an arranged marriage and hence wants a checklist of items to find the right partner
A widespread perception, or question that many wonder, is that are love marriages better than arranged marriages, and why. It directly affects how much your parents will be involved in your marriage normally. In fact it's because of parents’ very high involvement, that many often see arranged marriages as an outdated and regressive idea, and question if arranged marriage is relevant in today’s times. Because of the involvement of parents in an arranged marriage, often women want to understand the man’s and his family’s expectations of the wife in an arranged marriage setup. A very common fear of the woman is that will the family have problems if she wants to study/ travel/ work after marriage.
Another common question we often get revolves around how to plan savings and finances after marriage. Should the expenses be divided 50-50? Or proportionate to income? Additionally, most girls today want to be actively involved in taking care of their parents in their old age
What we can say is that we are not sure if Marriages are made in heaven, but surely the choices are made on earth. There is no right formula for finding the right partner in marriage, but we can surely say that the thought process needs to be sorted. It's critical to have clarity on what you want from marriage for both men and women. It's important to meet as many prospective partners during the courtship period. A long-lasting relationship is about friendship, deep bonding, and compatibility
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Video Chapters:
0:00 Introduction to the Series
0:45 1st Q: What questions to ask in the 1st few meetings of arranged marriage meeting
4:22 What had we discussed in our meetings
5:27 What if ice-breaking doesn't happen in those initial meetings?
8:36 Threat/ Fear of being judged in the initial meetings of arranged marriage
10:24 What if the other person is not being as honest as me in arranged marriage
12:45 2nd Q: How to evaluate an arranged marriage candidate on the basis of just a few initial meetings
13:34 What does core-beliefs and non-negotiables mean?
14:06 What is the difference b/w core-beliefs and non-negotiables
15:06 How much should be the importance of "superficial" criterias?
15:53 What were Vipin's core-beliefs and non-negotiables
18:53 What were Bibhuti's core-beliefs and non-negotiables
22:45 3rd Q: Is the partner more important, or his/ her family?
24:18 Definition of a good man
24:43 How to know beforehand if he will be able to take a stand against own family's patriarchy?
27:05 Did Bibhuti choose Vipin, or his family?
27:20 Conclusion