The Art of Being Your Own Best Friend | Carissa Karner | TEDxBelmontShore

Imagine how your life would change if you consistently acted like your own best friend. Many illustrate the importance of self-love, but very few provide instruction on how to achieve it. In this engaging talk, psychotherapist Carissa Karner reveals how she learned to concretize a nebulous idea of self-love into the tangible actions of befriending yourself. Psychotherapist This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@DANIKSTORM]

One of the advantages of being your own best friend is simply having someone to talk to, someone you don’t have to hide anything from. Someone you couldn’t hide anything from. It is liberating, in a way. It can also be disturbing. There are things you don’t want to think about, or to talk about or even admit to yourself.

[@alexmackenzie7223]

Befriending myself really helped me a lot to get me through my intense self-hate, depression and anxiety a few years ago. Befriending myself taught me how to love myself during those times I hated myself so much. Me and myself are still friends by the way. She can be sassy but i know she means well and i love her so much.

[@jaysouthmusic8230]

I can relate to this so much and I been on this self love journey going on 4 years and I learned so much about myself and I begin getting my happiness back and I’m experiencing peace I have never experienced in my teenage years

[@mayadakhaled6783]

I think to be a friend to yourself is an important skill they missed to teach it in the school

[@orianegidron]

Absolutely agree! Self empowerment, self defence, basic adulting "skills" should be tought in school

[@carissakarner]

Oh my goodness, yes! What a difference that would make.

[@imranfarhad8211]

They don't even teach how to be friends others 😐😐

[@scottyh8494]

That is so true.

[@paraste3676]

@@orianegidron proposed plooooo P

[@ruthestern]

I was bullied during my formative years. My operating system has developed around a belief that I will never fit in, and if I do, or seem to, I need be be on guard, because it is not real.

[@hylt3704]

Y’all I cried

[@warrenbradford2597]

Three steps in Chronological order; Listen, Trust, and Foriveness. I need to be in touch with myself in order to become my own best friend.

[@lindaugelow7682]

So key to feeling better in life. When we are down that's when we need ourselves the most!

[@rascallyrabbit]

my best friend was sent into exile when I was a child but she promised me that she would find me again...and she has.🥰

[@siriosstar4789]

If you enjoy being by yourself , it's not the me or you that is being enjoyed , but that which is already and always in joy . This cannot be taught , but it can be realized .

[@lolimemilyy]

WOW , what a woman !!!! I truly hope I get to point where I am loving myself , and am supporting myself emotionally : , )

[@adarijohnson]

Did you get there?

[@shreyasmore8469]

WOW, What a great talk! I'm surprised that only 60K people have watched this talk. It's a talk based on a simple yet profound idea, but it definitely is worth at least a million views! I broke into tears listening to this talk, thinking about how it feels to be loved unconditionally by your own self.

[@HDMidz]

So underrated talk. Really appreciate that one

[@kimfox9946]

Why didn't I think of this before?! :) So simple, yet so profound! Thank you, Carissa!

[@brianNYC546]

"trust yourself by listening to your own wisdom and act on that wisdom"

[@lucindahughes2967]

Such helpful information. Carissa broke down the idea of being your own best friend so well that it will be easy to remember....even when my critical mean girl gets in the way.

[@sunflowers2469]

I should have always been my best friend , instead of giving others that label.

[@Md_Imrn]

In brief, the art of being your own best friend is by accepting, trusting and forgiving yourself, your flaws, your imperfections, and your past.

[@Md_Imrn]

In addition, the most prominent thing is being honest to yourself.

[@jenpopham7283]

Yes I can be my own best friend! You inspire me to not be hard on myself And to be positive and love myself! Thank you!

[@AaronSentell]

This is just what I needed to hear this morning. A part of me has always been super critical of myself. That part is doing it for a reason. It thinks it is helping me, but it is only causing us (me and all the parts that make me up) a lot of pain and hurt.

[@gretelsmetals]

Carissa had the lightbulb moment when she read about being your own best friend, I literally had that feeling watching this. Thank you Carissa!

[@brigitjeffries8104]

What a great talk, Carissa! Thank you so much for breaking it down for us.

[@tekua19]

I really liked this video. When she said she thought befriending yourself was eating cookies and taking bubble baths, I was like... it isn't? *puts cookie down*... go on. I really liked the info she gave.

[@sammarkolightbourne8622]

Simple, effective, powerful! Loved this.

[@parentingfromtheheart4585]

Wonderful advice for all of us from a heart-centered expert, Carissa Karner.

[@thisisbob1001]

True

[@morganstacy4874]

This is so good every time 🌀

[@khushigadia2205]

i didn’t want this ted talk to end

[@miasuryanti5739]

I have a bad day today and watching this makes me bawl my eyes out. Thank you so much,

[@robertob8913]

This is a masterclass on successful public speech delivery. Amazing.

[@jaysouthmusic8230]

And this is the type of subjects that should be taught in schools, especially high schools

[@shreemajumder9568]

thanks a lot ma'am, this is the first time im going thru ur vd and tbh, thanks a lot, maybe thats not enough for what you did, for what you changed in my life, love you! THANKS A LOT AGAIN

[@dawndelgado4678]

Insightful and well delivered. Thank you Carissa!

[@user-ux6he6db1t]

self-compassion almost feels closer to who we are as souls

[@nellys5763]

This was a great TED talk. So often we forget to be nice to ourselves. Thank you very much!

[@levigabrielsen3988]

Exactly what I needed.

[@lynnelanguedoc4049]

Thank you great video . Tony ❤️

[@neerajgupta0912]

Fantastic talk, Carissa! Really nice way of healing ourselves with your words

[@twinkle8461]

Carissa... you hit all the right notes! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 🙂

[@bhagirathsinghudawat8137]

Very Helpful . Thank you

[@themorningwaves9420]

Thank you. I am learning a lot in improving myself and also helps a lot of things in my advocacy of spreading mental health awareness in my youtube channel. 💕

[@Gee9327]

Thank you❤

[@thisisbob1001]

This really is a very powerful technique.

[@carissakarner]

That touches me to hear. I hope it helps.

[@jeffginsbarg9957]

Awesome, Carissa!

[@swathi5773]

Listen, trust and forgive

[@hellotelephone1]

So effective! what an amazing talk! Being your own best friend is so important!

[@daniellem2992]

This was wonderful. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@rishik7991]

Loved it... Thank you so much Ma'am... thank you.

[@Ylemonade]

This might very well be the most important TED talk right now. Healing the world starts with healing the self.

[@nipznippa4442]

Wow well said!!! Thank you so much ma'am!

[@cescadarien-hyde5033]

Thank you for the friendly advice - I have trained in therapeutics and love the book 'When I loved myself enough'. The eternal optimist loves your wisdom!

[@niranjanasunil7092]

omg tysmm for thiss , i legit cried

[@Valiaki2]

Thank you

[@dianeleopard332]

Excellent presentation

[@anindita268]

Thank you💜

[@nahlbee8565]

It's a great talk! I really thankful for this..thankyou Carissa!

[@carissakarner]

Thank you Nahl Bee! I am so glad it touched you.

[@jewelslove2200]

THANK YOU FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL TALK. VERY UPLIFTING AND HEALING. THANK YOU FOR REPRESENTING THAT FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO FOLLOW SUIT. WHEN PEOPLE BEFRIEND THEMSELVES IT DOESN'T TAKE AWAY FROM ANYONE ELSE. TO NURTURING OUR FRIENDSHIPS WITH OURSELVES

[@kacangdele]

this is very helpful. thank you for the talk!

[@carissakarner]

You are so welcome.

[@hibaahchad4503]

it's really helpful and simple thank you so much ,loved this .

[@kristinasutton6008]

Such a game changer. Thank you 🙏🏾🌹

[@malehuseng8196]

👌

[@dhananjayjadhav6353]

One of the best Ted talk❤

[@robertashaffer3950]

Excellent

[@harbanikaur7037]

Beautiful ❤️

[@emadaldougleh6927]

the thing is that i am my first real friend ever,and i am my best friend,and i truly feel very happy by being me and with me and being always there for me...

[@Srishti_Sharma]

Amazing 🤩

[@terry.digital]

Amazing

[@sonyalizgonzalez5467]

Love 🙏🏻

[@peggyhughes5636]

Very well done. Easy to understand and apply. Thank you Carissa!

[@streetcredrelationshipcoac6866]

Thanks I wouldn't mind visiting ur page .. ur so encouraging

[@justachampioncrushingyourd7347]

"Believe in the you who believes in yourself"

[@devanshigala]

☺ Great talk

[@henrysprink4708]

I AM LEARNING TO LOVE ME AS I AM,NOT IN WHAT I HOPE I AM.LEARNING TO COMMUNICATE WITH INTEGRITY.THANK YOU

[@BeOutstanding]

Great Content Thank You Tedx Trust, love, forgive Listen Befriend yourself Support self

[@carissakarner]

That's beautiful. It reads like a poem.

[@WorkingMan1177]

Just what the doctor ordered! 👍

[@PinkYellowGreen2023]

I like the idea of being my bff...Im going to try it.

[@alishak4061]

I just found out my college friend got married a month after she got married. I'm super happy for her but I also need to learn to love myself more so things like this won't affect me as much. She was my best friend and now she's completely out of my life.

[@jaysouthmusic8230]

I’m sorry to hear that and I hope you find peace in loving yourself and being your own best friend

[@alishak4061]

@@jaysouthmusic8230 thank you for your kind words 😊

[@jaysouthmusic8230]

@@alishak4061 no problem

[@SineadHarteRhythmNation]

Wonderful talk .. if this Where happening to my best friend , how would I treat them❤️

[@Paula-pr1bo]

Wow x

[@User.2001]

I have a question please. When being the friend pf yourself who talks to who? Who should we listen to? Who are we talking to?

[@maddierose3114]

watching this bc I have no friends

[@Paula-pr1bo]

Be your own best friend as stated , and the right friends will come x

[@emilykirkman8468]

Praying that God will show you His love ❤️

[@purbasha2829]

Saaaame

[@carissakarner]

I hope you can give yourself some love and care, and that other friends come into your life.

[@annekilbourne]

I have many acquaintances but no real genuine friend... we'll find that person

[@durantereynalynp.2792]

wow

[@jamarparker2063]

Lâu quá rồi mới nghe anh Đức Phúc hát, thích quá đi thôi.

[@nneehhaa_]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@alykaalumbro97]

I am my own bestfriend

[@mariyammary1901]

💐

[@ramchandravaishya1720]

Hi

[@emadaldougleh6927]

underestimated

[@pastadrums]

I am struggling with this one. This was a great Ted Talk but I failed take away an effective tool to actively practice to befriend myself. I understand to trust, listen and ask myself questions and forgiveness… but how do we go about practicing this? How does one be compassionate, gentle, trust and forgive one self? what is the first step? Is the hand on the heart the only tool available to practice meditation? Idk I’m left utterly confused 🥲am I not supposed to stay In bed? Am I supposed to stay in bed? Someone please help me comprehend this. My brain is malfunctioning

[@SquidwardzBeatz]

I think that very doubt and uncertainty about what she had said might be something to become curious about... Try reading what you wrote out loud to yourself in a relaxed and gentle way. You never know what answers might arise! I trust that you have innate compassion, kindness and the ability to love yourself already built within you. It gets tricky because of the way the brain analyzes things so often! Try taking some slow, deep breaths and just simply saying "I trust myself... Any doubts can be there, but I know that I know how to be my own best friend". This might help! I wish you the best my friend.

[@tarawasinger]

🔥🔥🔥👏🏻🔥

[@LeafyLauren]

In Greek, Carissa means beloved, grace

[@carissakarner]

That is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that, I am beyond touched.

[@RnW9384]

❤ 😍 💖 ❣

[@dianewiegel7136]

Would your best friend tell you to cheat on anything? Probably not.

[@carissakarner]

I guess it depends on you're best friend's morals! Lol. But hopefully they will always have your best interest at heart. That is the most important thing, I think.

[@chloe6383]

🥺

[@wulanprima]

I am in that moment now, Carissa. At the lowest point in my life

[@cetinsmr3015]

People who dislikes this video isn't their own best friend 😝

[@novoid2fill]

what if someone doesn't have any single one of friends...!!

[@roskvamoller6655]

I would not trust myself as a friend. Forgive myself?.. mmm..maybe.

[@dianeodell2909]

Carissa (doesn’t that name mean something about Grace?!): “I have nothing to wear.” Me (a minute before she said that.): “That’s a really cool blouse.”

[@alicetran8005]

5.17

[@ItsAsparageese]

Fantastic talk. And hot damn homegirl is rocking that top, her waistline/hips combined with that fabric/draping = art, I stan

[@allahoroli703]

Are you please tell me those book you read.I meen wat is the name of this book

[@carissakarner]

Radical Acceptance, by Tara Brach

[@tonyhernandez2786]

Why the heck are those drums even there…

[@snehashekhar3616]

Ma'am I really need ur help,plz ma'am I m from India I really want ur help

[@Grace4ever22]

what's wrong Sneha?

[@fatimarubio3411]

She is Mandy Moore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!