The Art Of Not Giving A F*ck - An Absurd Mindset To Get Ahead Of 99% Of People | Mark Manson

[@TomBilyeu]

WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

[@laurieclarkson9180]

Tip for men: Whatever behavior that you engage in that gets you a high five from other men, is absolutely something women will be hugely turned off by.

[@fabiosuccess2895]

​@@NavdeepSingh-qf5eb Report them, let's send these scammers away

[@sunflower-oo1ff]

Husband and wife...in the heir of AI... is so dated...

[@sweetest247]

Not all are supposed to be married or desire that. We place far too much emphasis on marriage in society & always have. This puts alot of pressure on many. We see the divorce rate at 50% however that is not accurate we actually are much closer to 60%. There are variables of course but overall we continue with the same.

[@laurieclarkson9180]

@@sweetest247 Right! It's definitely not for everyone and when it comes to relationships, it's super important to DEFINE what certain words mean to you and make sure that your partners 100% share the same definition. "Marriage" means different things to different people. "Love" "Dating" "Girlfriend/Boyfriend" "Cheating" "Lies"--all of these words mean different things, which is crazy and probably one of the biggest problems people have..not defining what these words mean to them and making sure who you're with sees it the same way. We tend to assume they mean the same.

[@realtalk2036]

Many people may own my past but only I own my Future Best quote i've ever heard Most powerful quote I ever heard

[@bjwilliams]

Or try to tell you your future!! In credit union today..some guy said well you know our clock is ticking...reminded me of a 35+ woman thinking about pregnancy! Well from birth everybody's clock is ticking. Who wants to spend their remaining years listening to people talk about death, probably why I don't venture inside a church ==ya think! 😅

[@sugarsnap1000]

Umh, but if people have said this 20 30 year ago and still saying it, then more than likely it’s not a true statement. Best to be realistic about what your life is really about, keep that at the forefront and create boundaries, there will always be strife in life, resilience is key.

[@IAmMarkManson]

This was a great convo. Went some places I didn't expect. Thanks Tom. 🙂

[@SophiaAphrodite]

@@Alexb72219 the book or the tattoo? LOL

[@SophiaAphrodite]

Our anti-hero!

[@udraudraudra]

I've always thought that Mark is a superficial guru but after I've found his KZbin channel I'm absolutely amazed about how well-educated and well-thought he is. It's a pleasure to listen to him speaking. Great interview.

[@ranc1977]

This is true, he was talking in his video about issues which later became new syndrome. Symptoms of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (when criticism hurts) - Being easily embarrassed - Heightened fear of failure - Unrealistically high expectations for self - Assuming people don't like you - Avoiding social settings - Perfectionistic tendencies

[@nextgenmillen]

Tom is correct as usual! A huge issue plaguing the self-help industry is the lack of application from its consumers. Most people love to watch motivational videos or consume personal development content because it feels good. There's a hit of dopamine that comes from convincing yourself that you're making an improvement, without yet applying what you just consumed. It just feels so darn good to pump yourself up, which is fine but defeats the purpose. Knowledge is not power and does not create change, but knowledge becomes power and change once applied. Motivation gets you going, but consistency keeps you growing! Happy growing! :)

[@joshuatrott193]

Agree. Often times there are roots to not taking action. Believing others can change but we can't, believing we don't deserve more from life, not wanting the responsibility that comes with success, and many others. Somewhere along line dignity was lost. We can start using self help advice as a silent hope that one thing will click n magically we will be better. Quietly hoping someone else's insight will save us. Even if that were true we would rob ourselves of earning back our dignity. No one can give that to us, it has to be self earned.

[@JaZmine147]

Everytime I put on a KZbin video about something I'm actually doing it's like reminding myself of the positive this action brings. When intermittent fasting gets hard, I listen to videos about that again and it keeps me moving, for example. If I want to clean my home, I watch cleaning motivation.

[@nextgenmillen]

@@joshuatrott193 Very well said! I completely agree.

[@nextgenmillen]

@@JaZmine147 That's great! I'm glad you found a method of prompting action! It's like action through osmosis. 😃

[@JaZmine147]

@@nextgenmillen Exactly. Haha. ❤️

[@jazzyk4046]

The part where Mark and Tom discussed about being loyal to one woman (that's how I see it) really got me teary eyed. Wasn't expecting that topic at all when I clicked this video

[@victors16811]

Same thing and I also did not expect such a deep conversation! I didn’t even know who mark was till now!

[@eb3644]

Absolutely priceless conversation. The hookup generation is wasting time and missing out on the nuggets of treasure found in a monogamous long term relationship.

[@SophiaAphrodite]

Monogamy is not our natural state. That is a cultural and religious oppression onto preventing women having body autonomy.

[@pizzaqueen9590]

"many people may own your past but you own your future" 🙌

[@YuyiLeal]

As a therapist, I really appreciate Mark's words... it is a very deep process that facilitates transformation and thriving...and although this may take some time, it offers a deeper level of healing and understanding than the quick solutions offered by most of the advice out there.

[@YashoShasho]

Keep on even with the knife in your heart, even through that excruciating pain. Push through, push through that and you will get to the next level or cross that bridge. There will be more challenges. When depression and despair is at your door. Invite it in. Bring out a chair. Ask it to sit with you and ask it “What do you want to show me?” Please, don’t give up. If you keep moving through it, even with that heaviness in your heart and the heaviness in each step you take, just keep moving, step by step. Rest, but don’t quit. Keep moving. Remember, you are enough, totally. It’s not about how many likes you get on social media. What it’s about is the relationship you have with yourself. Keep on. Stay human.

[@just1certifiable]

I really love knowing that there are men/people who believe that relationships should have a united front being the two parts acting as one and working together instead of the jealousy and competition that is so common and pervasive, but only serves to create resentments and division. This makes a big statement about the confidence and security you feel and who you are at the core. Even better is that it is real and not an act to be put on when you want or need something which is also common..

[@mamabear3887]

Men/people...? 🤔 Do women even exist nowadays? Correction... Men/Women = people. The hate towards women is so egregious and so old. Smh

[@queenred.6159]

The issue with having kids is that your always giving to them. You never have any time to yourself and they will always be dependent on you in some way. I like my peace and quiet. Kids arent that. Many parents I know Is always tired and have high anxiety when it comes to children and I dont want any of that.

[@tirsedenia]

Just wanted to comment on Tom´s idea of having kids to find purpose and meaning- I think that while this may really help some people to get their lives in order, it is a highly dangerous idea. I am childfree and have depression. I have experienced the state Tom described of staring at a wall and not caring what happens to me. Now imagine I have a kid, but that state doesn´t go away, I don´t get better, I am still depressed, with the added stress of caring for a child which I cannot properly do. That would be the most selfish act in the world in that case, and would harm a child needlessly. Kids are not your therapy. Yes, sometimes it may work out. But often it doesn´t. Many people experience postpartum depression as well, which can lead to psychosis and end in suicide. Again, totally agree that having children can help people improve their own lives and to find meaning and purpose. But assuming this will always turn out that way is naive. Having a child assuming you will feel better as a result is gambling with a child´s life and is not ok. Loved the video Tom but just wanted to say that.

[@chrishayes5755]

you're kind of wrong in a way. you sound very nihilistic. probably because you're a "modern woman", not religious and sold on the idea of being a worker for some corporation that can replace you with a snap of the fingers. that's the goal of many modern women, sold to you as what you've always been fighting for. having kids is a WORTHY IDEAL. it actually matters significantly, not only for yourself but for society. having kids is aligned with the concept of "higher self". if you want to add meaning to your life and be less depressed then chase your purpose which is aligned with some of these "worthy ideals" 1. Raising a family 2. Serving your community 3. Pursuing a career that makes a positive difference 4. Helping those in need 5. Living a life of integrity 6. Serving your faith 7. Investing in lifelong learning 8. Engaging in creative pursuits 9. Building meaningful relationships 10. Pursuing adventure 11. Caring for the environment 12. Practicing gratitude 13. Taking time to reflect 14. Being of service to others 15. Developing a sense of purpose 16. Engaging in acts of kindness 17. Cultivating a spirit of generosity 18. Pursuing excellence 19. Seeking knowledge 20. Developing a strong moral compass if you're depressed an nihilistic you need a therapist to get to the root psychological issues holding you back. don't wait. good luck!

[@f.d.6667]

Totally agree 100%. I found out that the root cause for my depression was un-dignosed ADD... at 55. Purpose and meaning aren't an issue when your brain is fully working, as you are able to pick any activity you find worthwhile to pursue and get fulfillment out of it. Kids are great when you are healthy and can function reliably...

[@tirsedenia]

@@f.d.6667 Thanks for responding :) It seems like we are on the same page. There are so many ways to have purpose, and it takes time to find something that brings joy when you are depressed, but that fulfilling thing doesn´t have to be kids!

[@amyjogray8056]

Agreed. HAVING CHILDREN DOES NOT CURE DEPRESSION FOLKS.

[@tirsedenia]

@@amyjogray8056 Amen to that!

[@jordongroves-coaching]

To implement change or new habits, change your environment as much as you possibly can (to start a new routine or habit) Your environment is full of triggers, which keep you stuck emotionally and physically with the same behaviours. Self accountability is a skill you can learn. Simplify the actions needed down to the day, hour and minute. Set implementation rules, no more books/courses, until I have shown (with evidence) that I have implemented the information I have gained.

[@joannhandsford7579]

Wait- this deserves attention “you don’t stop feeling bad, you feel bad and find a way to respond well to it” this was a so freeing

[@greydenpiechnickrealestate6928]

We got this people!! 23 and about to have 11 rental units!! Go do the shit that scares you 💪🏼♥️

[@catalhuyuk7]

Do you believe that you’ve acquired is the same as what you’ve achieved?

[@greydenpiechnickrealestate6928]

@@catalhuyuk7 not at all, I’ve achieved far greater then material assets I’ve acquired

[@carinaoliveira5850]

Mark is the first well known person I've heard discuss swapping through identities as he creates them. I've always thought this way, which has kept me excited about today and less anxious about the future and overwhelming responsibilities I may have to one day worry about. I used to be a dancer professionally, and then once I developed an inner ear imbalance and could not longer dance on stage, I shed an old skin of myself and changed careers. If I didn't have this mindset Mark shares, I would've/could've gone through a deep and dark place in my life. Rather I seized the moment and moved onto the next version of myself with the same passion I had on stage.

[@Mr.Honest247]

Did you have daddy issues to be a dancer? Happens every time.

[@AxelAxe]

I think as creatives we are a lot more open to changing paths. I'm sorry to hear that you couldn't once anymore, but I'm glad you found a new passion. If I couldn't;t make films anymore I would probably go into tech. One of my biggest fears was going blind and not being able to make films anymore, but I guess if that happened I would become a piano player or a guitar player. What was your new path?

[@Queenwraith]

What did you find peace doing?

[@carinaoliveira5850]

@@Mr.Honest247 Lol! No. Ballet, modern, jazz, contemporary, latin and ballroom dancing don't require this subset of reasons.

[@carinaoliveira5850]

@@Queenwraith Honestly, it's still changing, but I always had an entrepreneurial spirit and now I'm fulfilled in my career in sales and account management for a large food manufacturing company. My hobbies still include dance, but I've picked up interior decorating, mountain biking and other creative outlets along the way!

[@MichaelSmith-lr8cp]

"Success is a game of attrition" This was a great line, thanks Tom!

[@61kristine]

Regarding making friends and finding fullfillment.. How about joining volunteering work. Start in a choir, join a club etc. Give of your time to the community by joining volunteering groups. 😊

[@AhnastasiaRose]

Been a huge fan of Mark for years and I absolutely loved this interview! It's really interesting listening to Mark talk in interview-form and how unique his thought process is when responding to questions. He said some pretty thought-provoking things in this interview.

[@AmandaMG6]

Ya. He's a likeable dude

[@gregs_on_tracks]

That was wonderful. Just like two friends having a real, profound discussion and not holding anything back. Thank you for letting me listen in on it.

[@mikepawlikguitar]

Firstly, I'm so glad to see a video uploaded that's not just a re-upload... and second, it's great to see the one, the only, Mark Manson coming on again! Great stuff both of you

[@CharaTheChampion]

I havent watch a podcast in a while but man do I LOVE the way he "interviews" people, it looks and feels sooo natural like 2 friends chatting.

[@beerman204]

I am new to hearing Mark speak. To me he comes from a place of sincerity.... speaking from his inner truth without false or ulterior motives....

[@judittoth4527]

Great conversation guys ❤ I'm fortunate to have a relationship you talked about and you have as well, even after 26 years my hubby and I are still deeply happy 🤗

[@bjwilliams]

Why is it always women who write in comments how happy and in love the couple is, but never men??😅

[@judittoth4527]

@@bjwilliams I don't know but I'm sure my husband would leave the same comment if he was the type to leave comments 🤭 to answer your question, maybe it's because men don't tend to appreciate these things... Men and women are wired differently, especially on emotional level. You know what I mean 😁

[@yesreneau]

Hearing them talk about relationships like it’s some kind of revelation that commitment can actually be so much better than one-night stands… it just makes me want to face palm myself like “duh”. Honestly blows my mind that so many guys growing up don’t get this.

[@yesreneau]

And also it’s kind of infuriating, because guys not getting this means they treat women like disposable sex objects… and that’s so degrading. And it’s like, okay, it’s cool guys are understanding this all now, but when boys are on their way to figuring this out, it’s so damaging to girls.

[@carinaoliveira5850]

Mothers coddling their boys and pumping up their egos to the point that they can do-no-wrong, builds a egocentric character in the man. Unfortunately most men in their 20 - 30's do not think like Mark and Tom. If they did, I'd hear less from my single 30 year old friends complaining about the dating pool. :(

[@Mr.Honest247]

@@yesreneau It’s nice seeing a pretty girl like you valuing commitment. Rare these days.

[@shrin210]

​​​@@carinaoliveira5850You'd find that guy uninteresting or he is jerk for throwing knowledge. Then, go on about that actual jerk guy that girls like and blame their ego boosted by their mother 🤦🏻. Take responsibly not blame others, here you just had to avoid them but you are here making general claim to all boys.

[@shrin210]

Girls should avoid sex, say "no" until the guy has commitment i.e. marriage. But no, just blame on guys about sex objects.

[@ladyoy]

This conversation is so beautiful, analytical and open. I love both of you from watching this. Love how your minds work and you share it so like a book. It’s the easy format for me to listen to❤ you guys just inspiring

[@ranc1977]

I don't like vulgarities though. It does not belong here.

[@ladyoy]

@@ranc1977 it’s so weird cuz lately I have seen many ppl make this kind of comments for other content by other creators as well. But I have not been offended at all while others find it rather unacceptable.

[@ranc1977]

@@ladyoy Toxicity is like rotten apple - it spreads quickly and turns brain into zombie and Karen. Especially with teens who are insecure and want to assert their macho alpha status - in real life this ends up as narcissism and narcissistic abuse where they find nice, kind quiet people as their target which they abuse to feel superior, good and strong and courageous.. While they leave true monsters who deserve vulgarities alone.

[@jdt8983]

I "conquered" a certain number of prove yourself goals but they're never enough. Gotta keep in mind its simple. Health. Interests. A good relationship or two.

[@AIShizzle]

Manson's book is absolutely fantastic. In a world full of judgement, that kind of mindset is like a superpower.

[@AberrantArt]

How would you summarize the core ideas in a few sentences?

[@AIShizzle]

@@AberrantArt I think the concept that struck me the most is that there's no point in worrying about things you cannot change. But there's a lot more value to be found in the book, so I'd recommend reading it. And that's how it sticks too, you know.

[@LucasDanielSantoro]

@@AberrantArt man, you are using chat GPT too much it leaks LOL

[@AberrantArt]

@@AIShizzle thanks. That's interesting because it's things I can't change that cause me the most anxiety.

[@PawlovsDogg]

world full of judgement? you mean like this channel?

[@MichelleReneeMusic]

Such an incredible conversation ! So many points I want to restate , but when you talked about when you are serving, it reinstated that fierceness of "I can do this forever!" 💯 Countless treasures in this discussion ❣️ Thank you so much for this !

[@stilianifakidaraki3724]

To have children because you’re indifferent and don’t know what to do with your life is HORRIBLE life advice, Tom!

[@SophiaAphrodite]

I sad this as well but my comment was deleted.

[@visionboardmusicvision4the513]

Awwwww I love hearing Tom talk about his wife that's so sweet 💞🌟

[@MTtroutfisher406]

Chronic pain provider here: until people realize what they are doing (habits), are told what to do different (coaching), and how much better they’ll FEEL when they make the change, people won’t change. Change isn’t a checkbox list. It requires a frank assessment of where someone is and where they want to be. 🤔 I appreciate both of your content!

[@andrewhancock2451]

I thought the title was gimmicky, but decided to give it a shot to see if I could selfishly advance my life. I was relieved to find that it is very down-to-earth and not selfish at all, but a balance of selfish and altruism. I get idea that kids can give purpose to the unmotivated, but I was concerned about recommending that by default. Kids are a responsibility, and you don't' have it together, they might force you to, but we also see how you can pass problems onto the next generation.

[@learoser1339]

Hi Tom I really enjoyed this episode. I understand the feeling you get when your wife walks into a room unexpectedly. I had the same feeling around the 10th year mark. It has lasted. 2021 -22 really disrupted the flow of our marriage. We found ourselves on opposite side of the fence. We now have been together for 25 years married for 14 years and slowly we are repairing the damage and hoping that time will improve this. We certainly love each other but have taken some hit points. So I appreciated both your points as well as your guests. Thankyou😊

[@TaulantLucaBalla]

This is one of the best interviews I have come across so far.

[@alexsender4986]

1:17:10 - this what i dream to have in my long term partner. This require both deep trust and understanding of psycological and physical differences and instead of shaming them - embrace them in a good way. Empathy level 100000000. Love it

[@BloomStats]

Radical Responsibility, Acceptance, and Growth. Good points there. Thank you!

[@MarleneChism]

When you find your choice you find your power! That’s why seeing yourself as a victim keeps you stuck. Love his radical responsibility message.

[@TheZGALa]

Feeling psychologically alone is what is devestating...it has little to do with being around people, though I think it is easier to get pulled into a self narrative of isolation when actually alone.

[@Psyaii]

Jung said "loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible." Perhaps that is how you feel?

[@TheZGALa]

@@Psyaii Yes, exactly.

[@leetarrant5630]

@Psyai for me it's both, years of being alone, leads to the other.

[@tls459]

Lot of great stuff in here. One big issue: have kids to find meaning???? No!!! Yes, kids bring meaning - WHEN YOU ACTUALLY WANT THEM! Having them to fill a void is setting up the next generation of people who need this help!

[@lightestline]

I disagree. Human beings need a purpose and if you aren’t going to do the work to find one you can likely find it in children. Now don’t be irresponsible and have one with 12 dollars in your bank account but It’s hard to find a grand parent saying “I regret having my children, if I could change one thing about my life it would be them”

[@tls459]

@@lightestline I worked in emergency services. I cannot tell you how many children I saw destroyed by parents who had them because they were told they “should”, or to fix a relationship, or who needed someone to love them but had limited capacity to give the love in the first place. A pet is a better answer to this - like a dog. They need you, they love unconditionally, provide companionship, and if the responsibility is too much, it’s not ideal but a new forever home can be found. Kids can’t be returned. We are talking about a person - albeit small - not a form of human medication or therapy.

[@lightestline]

@@tls459 So those kids would be better off having never existed? And the parents would be better off as well? Life is rough and not always what we want it too be but god damn if it isn’t the single greatest thing any of us get the chance to partake in.

[@Psyaii]

He did mention after that having a child would entail finding a meaningful relationship, so he was really saying to build a family. Not just have a kid out of nowhere. Though it did sound like that initially

[@franksunith]

Creating another source of income in these difficult times is the best thing to do. Not only does it guarantee returns, it also helps you plan and save for future expenses. It can be quite difficult to make an investment without sound knowledge or guidance, which is why it is advisable to work with an investment advisor.

[@juliatrevor]

please i need help on how to get to him

[@franksunith]

google his name.

[@franksunith]

Yuval Eric Brokman.

[@franksunith]

search his fullname.

[@franksunith]

you will find his webpage.

[@AmandaMG6]

As a woman that gave up on the dating scene I'm awestruck at what SAPS you two are 😂 I came here for business and self improvement shit and now I have to examine my attachment BS. ❤ thx

[@henry-5676]

Dating for men is even harder nowadays

[@AmandaMG6]

@@henry-5676 did you even watch the video? Lol dating sucks for everyone

[@TheFatRat]

That last bit about the utility of fame being a bell curve was so interesting. Never thought about it like that.

[@viciousviego2478]

I love your music.

[@AJBuddha]

From what I’ve seen & experienced in life, the only 2 things I do not want to do is A. getting married & B. having kids I understand why regular people want to but it’s really not for me. At least til I’m 35-40

[@mirelodas]

MM is one of the most brilliant minds of 21 century. Great interview, thanks Tom for delivering it to us

[@Miss_Annlaug]

Listening I'm wanting to add: we need to be just as careful with who we make friends with as who we allow to become our intimate partners/who we get romantically involved with. Friends can jave a very negative influence. I have very few, high-quality friends. Im very careful who i spend time with. You are more affected by people you spend time with than you think ❤

[@katsoja3338]

This interview is an absolute bomb. So many great insights, so much priceless advice. As a sworn commitmentfob, this has been an eye opener to me. I have never heard people, let alone two men, talking about long term relationships that way. It makes so much sense, it gives so much hope, it opens eyes to the depths of human experience when most of life around us we let to happen on a superficial level only. Eternally grateful to Mark and Impact Theory for everything they do. I love their work in general but this interview is another level entirely. Thank you so much

[@shantishanti1949]

I loved the openness of your discussion on this - the learning you did in your relationships. Love you notice respect and love your wives attention and you show affection- non neediness is good. You have to want them in your life not need them- respect each others need to be themselves and do something they want to do that you are not involved in AND trust them. Re relationships and needing to have a number to find your “right” person to settle down - you don’t have to sleep with them all - old fashioned rules can have value - date ask appropriate questions and spend time then if it has promise have bedroom time but don’t do the latter before the former. You can hurt yours and the other if you are just sex driven.

[@ZephyrAvoxel]

No failures, only lessons.

[@justinkeyser9130]

The change is qualitative in nature.. Emotions drive behaviours and there is often a diconnect between the intellect and the emotions. Bringing those into sync is why therapy works.

[@dave5185]

I've watched so many of Tom's videos and made absolutely no changes in my life, but I feel better wasting my time on self improvement videos

[@stilianifakidaraki3724]

Same. Maybe it’s time for us to stop…

[@blakebunch4485]

Learning more is the most seductive form of procrastination; planning more is a close second.

[@suziebrouillet758]

Wow listening to Mark talking about the need to see the same people really struck me.

[@LeafyLuster]

I have nothing to add to the information of this conversation. It was great! But seriously the table hight is throwing me off so bad 😅

[@HomegirlfromKC]

Wow The Way u talk about your wife is absoluely beautiful, it literally got me teary eyed. its what most women hope to experience. There are good men out there.

[@jazzyk4046]

When the guest said this about the relationship with his wife.. "I was like.. I don't wanna go anywhere.. This is where I want to be..".. Awww.. 😍

[@101hamilton]

This is one of the best interviews! Thank you for posting.

[@TT-dy2sm]

I dont agree with everything they shared here but I appreciate it sounds authentic and real. That's so valuable.

[@davidclemens1843]

I have listened to many conversations about life, and especially relationships, and this one consolidates the most good ideas into one package that I have ever heard! Awesome!

[@ThaUnseenTruth]

How long have we been watching these self-help videos, and how much tangible change have they actually brought about in our lives? We make the mistake of thinking that by watching these videos, or reading these books, that we are being productive, when in reality, it is merely procrastination in disguise. We would sooner watch video after video, and read book after book, than act on a single piece of information contained therein.

[@shrin210]

Yup😢🎉

[@stilianifakidaraki3724]

You’re right! Thanks for the reminder

[@ExecutiveZombie]

I don’t have to live with you or your attitude and bad behaviors. I have the power to leave and walk away; however, I cannot leave myself! I CANNOT WALK AWAY FROM MY INTEGRITY AND MY RIGHTEOUSNESS…. I have to contend with me, so I can be at peace and not live in shame. 🙏🏽☀️ You have the power to reject others but you’ll justify bad behavior and live with deep shame if you lie to yourselves and are not righteous to others.

[@themanifestationdude]

So good!!!! Impact Theory is coming strong with the content. Love it ❤

[@idk1andidc]

Biggest reasons for any change is the reason WHY. You need a “Why” in order to invoke real change especially when fighting against deeply rooted habits.

[@hanaleart7339]

I like that part on social validation 💯

[@ameliaberry285]

Love the Mid 30’s marriage talk- it so true. Such a peace and love in building a life with someone.

[@swadesigns448]

I've loved this podcast interview a lot, as I do most. But I never comment. I wanted to comment on this one particularly, when I heard Tom saying, 'The default answer for people should be to have kids.' He then talks about this person. 'I sit on the bed. I stare at the ceiling. I don't want anything. I can't even work up the outrage when somebody wrongs me. I don't care.' The advise Tom wants to give this guy, is what!? 'Having kids is nature's way of giving meaning, purpose, give you something to fight for, something to die for, something ultimately to live for.' Having kids, bringing them into the world is not a 'strategy' to overcome your depression or funk. It's a commitment to give that human being love, and security. It is not a side hustle, it literally takes over your life. We see people messing up parenting all the time. And we see people walking around with trauma from their dysfunctional families and childhood experiences. So now, Tom wants to give people advise that they should have kids, when they don't have their act together?

[@Happypandabear]

The GOATS🙏🔥. Grateful for them❤.

[@danielfleckenstein7107]

This is a great conversation Tom. Thank you

[@funnytv-1631]

Whatever has occurred in your life absorbed those minutes, those days. They need not claim dominion over these minutes, these hours, these days. You do have a sanctuary, but it is not one to the past. It is to the ‘you’ you’re becoming. The days will come and go, but each will be anchored with tiny steps. Each one is a testament to future possibilities. Face forward, not backward. These brand new moments belong to you.

[@philippevandam-my5cj]

probably the best episode yet, I've learned so much thank you both!

[@laurieclarkson9180]

Women have to deal with men's rejection as well. Which is scary. Many men cannot handle rejection well. They get violent and vindictive. They don't take no for an answer which then leads to women getting downright hostile when being approached. Getting hit on can immediately put us in threat/fight mode. We often ASSUME when we turn the guy down, he will get psycho.

[@ihussain1011]

Get well soon.

[@laurieclarkson9180]

@@ihussain1011 Thanks! I'm doing very well now. I don't put up with crazy anymore. I just let the police handle it.

[@Denmosocial]

53:00 thrill of the hunt.. spot on

[@JRoseBooks]

I believe the answer to the therapy question is that many people need HELP changing their beliefs and thoughts about things. If you’re coming from a particularity difficult place, just hearing the info isn’t going to help. On top of that, most of our core beliefs are rooted in our BODY-so just telling yourself something new and better for you (in your mind) is at odds what you believe deep inside. That’s something we need external help with. From a different angle, many are addicted to scrolling (and all that), so there isn’t any empty space to DO the work. plus, you hear something that resonates, then scroll to the next and are hit with something else. And on and on. I put my phone away most of the day. It has made a huge difference. We have to choose the difficult route if we want to improve.

[@racquelmilan7765]

I can relate to swapping identities. Life is transient to me. By doing so I have been able to merge these identities in to a purpose. And will continue to.. service is very important in life as you progress. It feels good to give your overflowing abundance. Good karma 😊 We change every 7 years and grow with that. Mindfulness 🧘‍♀️

[@piotrc3718]

Oh gosh, it's so amazing and so eye opening!

[@devanggraini111]

The way Tom talked about Lisa.. wow.. Lisa and Tom, thanks for being such an amazing couple❤️

[@DeanBeanSubmmarine]

33:14 what if you can't get up in the morning because you think of others too much. So much so that you are a failure. You can't ever please anyone.

[@MoNika-pu9jy]

Two boys talking about how awsome they are and they figured it all out.

[@sharanjhaveri6324]

Explore vs exploit is at the heart kf the problem.

[@electrominded8372]

Having slept with a lot of women has not made me happier or forged any meaningful relations (more broken hearts) but I feel less that I need to prove myself in front of society/other people than before, and getting to know my strengths and weaknesses.

[@SideHustleLane]

I have been having trouble with monogamy as a path to take and i love the clarity that this conversation gives. Watched a clip with Jordan Peterson talking about "why you shouldnt cohabit " which lines up well with this conversation trail.

[@mattwithahat3857]

I like the idea of using the internet to find a good peer group that actually has a positive impact on me. Maybe I should try that more. I haven't had any success in the real world in finding those people, at least when it comes to personal development and business. They are really hard to find somehow, or I'm just not looking in the right places 😅

[@shrin210]

It doesn't work on internet. Better to do find it in person.

[@mattwithahat3857]

@@shrin210 Well, that didn't work so far for me.

[@shrin210]

@@mattwithahat3857 In person didn't work for you. At this point, it's just all upto luck 🤞. BTW what is your business ? Since in person means meeting lot of people.

[@ZephyrAvoxel]

​​@@mattwithahat3857 lmk if you're stuck and open to manafesting (new word) imaginatively novel solutions which may work for you, I am happy if I can help...I live for reciprocal and mutually beneficial exchanges... ❤🐙frreal

[@HalperNL]

I enjoyed from start to finish. Thank you

[@adriangarcia9218]

Very valuable advice in here. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@chader3033]

Man the timing of me seeing this video couldn’t be better. Thank you guys!

[@PhetteHollins]

Mark is my new favorite crush. I love how he touched on the avoidant attachment style & connected it to being a commitment-phobe & thinking that relationships weren’t for him. And also him making the association regarding poly lifestyles. I was telling a friend recently that someone choosing to be poly is much deeper than their need for freedom or variety. I truly believe it has to do with one’s attachment style & their addiction/avoidance to intimacy.

[@bjwilliams]

Or that one person cannot be all you need. As a senior woman now looking back on a 15 yr marriage decades ago. It was calm and peaceful the 1st morning he was gone, getting our son ready for 6th grade was so easy and nice. Never looked back, had good relationships, no marriage- great life; grandma now_😎🌴northern California.

[@bridgettewhite5582]

I want a relationship like his.

[@floydsmithjr7999]

One of the key underlying components of not giving a f*** is something that’s been mentioned since the beginning of the self help phenomenon. Being present. Not wringing your hands over the past and not trying to control a future that does not exist yet, and may never exist. 5 minutes is a lifetime in the present moment. Even 5 minutes of dwelling on the past or the future is enough to steer you off track in the now. Yeah, you can learn from the past and you should plan for the future but youve got to remember, you can’t go back there and you won’t get there until you are here. Try for one full day, to not make decisions based on what happened yesterday and what might happen tomorrow. You may find it’s not as easy as you may think it is.

[@Homebody_yogi]

oh thank you for discussing a very important topic for our time - marriage and long-term mating and values that hold all that together ❤

[@l337z0r]

Amazing discussion. 33 year old guy here, I broke down in tears when they talked about relationships - it's advice I wish I'd had 10 or 15 years ago. Fuck the red pill community, I never realized how toxic it all was.

[@RodHayward]

We never "figure things out" or "discover who we are." When we think we may have achieved either goal, where do we find the measure that tells us that's true. And who decides. I think we go through life fulfilled with one thing, and move on to the next. All or one of those things might define us. Several philosophers contend life is simply a grimy pitstop in a much larger "universe."

[@chrysoulacaragonne-chilcot8896]

Amen to experts are full of it! The power of a confession ritual, one of the saving graces of the Catholic Church.

[@angelina1108]

Toooom! I miss these wonderful interviews with different guests. Thank you❤

[@petemac2759]

It's called right action. But timing is critical & it depends on who you run into. If your lucky, your an alcoholic who winds up in a solid old school AA group. I've seen it change folks, including me, who were considered hopeless. It appears to me the most successful folks all have very similar ways that they do things, meaning there may be only 1 right way to live so you can be maximum within yourself. That seems to be the ultimate ult. Simple but not easy to do. Love Masons book. Awesome. Create great freedom for the spirit.

[@anniemonroe9285]

Mark looks so different! I love his books. Glad to see him on here!

[@universaltruth2025]

Very interesting discussion about how to sustain meaning, purpose and motivation in life and the role children play in this. I have children and I know they are the most important aspect of my life and they do give me purpose meaning and a desire to keep going and work hard. But I sometimes feel guilty that we bring children into the world often to fulfil our own needs for meaning & purpose and other aspects like social status - but its the child that has to then figure out how to survive his /her own life and then go on to make the same difficult choice over whether to keep the cycle going. I agree if you don’t have children you need another purpose to stay motivated and basically to live for.

[@YashoShasho]

Yes “We’ve hidden physical struggle for psychological struggle.” Personally I’ve noticed so many people with a lot of idle time. As the saying goes “The devil will find work for idle hands to do.” People need purpose, to feel like they belong in cities that are very car centric versus people centric. Where there is a huge feeling of vacancy. A lot of young people feel isolated and alone. Also, so much human potential is wasted in our mandatory schooling system. Many public schools have an assembly line way of teaching. There are exceptions and exceptional teachers whose classrooms within these systems are unique. With public schools they are funded as long as the seats are warm. Children can love learning and the process could be improved by light years. Unfortunately with the admin and bureaucracy, makes it extremely difficult. It will take time to see the changes that will be essential for humanity.

[@AlexSaheli]

To me therapy looks like a scam, and Im very openminded

[@shrin210]

I think all guys think therapy is scam 😂 and girls think therapy does work. So I came to conclusion it works for girls and doesn't work for boys.

[@stopper90004]

Therapy is for people who can't admit to themselves that they are often assholes and who then act to do something about it.

[@PurifyWithLight]

I sowed my wild oats for about 8 years in my 20's. I learned so many valuable lessons that allowed me to better appreciate a good woman. Though on the reverse side, my rose tinted glasses on good women being a majority, was annihilated lol. I was an online "chad" and the real ways of the world were revealed 😬

[@foreveradrift]

I have no interest in having children. However, I believe it is possible that I feel different in the future. In which case, I would like to adopt.