The AWFUL Doctor Who game you've never played

Doctor Who: The Eternity Clock sure is THE Doctor Who game of all time...
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[@trentsmith5631]

Love your stuff boys fuckin BOLLLLOCKKKKS :)

[@origami234]

WOW! AN EXTRA 50 STELLAR JADES!

[@robertogarcia9597]

Luv ya guyz, keep it up

[@majimaven7964]

Wow. Thanks for the Stellar Jades.

[@carlosatausupa8429]

HONKAI STAR RAIL: FU... Y... GOTY IS MINE AWARDS. AFTER WINS.🩵💥

[@ShadowMuppetX]

"What happens if the Doctor dies?" You unlock Peter Capaldi.

[@kaizoisevil]

Except he was on his last regeneration.

[@totallycarbon2106]

​@@kaizoisevilexcept effin timeless child bullshit means him being on his last regeneration just isn't true anymore.

[@kaizoisevil]

@@totallycarbon2106 but that wasn’t planned during the Moffat era. Moffat fully intended for the Doctor to have no regenerations left so the time lords helping him would have impact.

[@Radjondle]

​@@totallycarbon2106 dw not canon

[@hotelmario510]

"You think Time Lords care about fall damage?" The Fourth Doctor: [literally dies from fall damage]

[@PsyrenXY]

Yeah but 13 fell from orbit... so maybe the Doctor got upgraded 🤪

[@MrSkerpentine]

@@PsyrenXYhe learned to tech ala Smash Bros

[@Dead25m]

@@PsyrenXY That was right after a regeneration though

[@Dullahan161]

Fun fact the original concept for the TARDIS was for it to change appearance every story to blend in but the production crew was stuck with the police box die to budget constraints

[@TheSergeyJW]

And they try to explain it in the show's lore too, I think. Like its camouflage module is broken and it's stuck as the last thing it turned into. I haven't watched the show in a while, but I think I remember the Doctor saying something to that effect.

[@tehpurplepills]

So do police live in the box or do they just work there ? And do the police move the box around to different areas depending on need?

[@neilmacartney8972]

​@@tehpurplepillsthe police box was basically just a regular telephone box that went straight to the police so using a payphone wasn't necessary and not everyone would have a phone on them or need the reception to do so

[@SolomonFactor]

@@TheSergeyJW yes, the chameleon circuit broke in about the second episode of the series

[@lukelassaline563]

Yep, chameleon circuit, they had several one offs in the classic era where the doctor would get it working again just for a minute, but that was by the point where they were just desperate for decent ratings and would try anything to get attention. Also at one point the doctor had the “who-mobile” during the years when he was stuck on earth without access to the TARDIS

[@GMMReviews]

4:49 - *"He's a Timelord, do you think Timelords care about fall damage?"* Tom Baker's 4th Doctor literally died of fall damage 😂

[@FatherEnricoPucciMadeInHeaven]

I remember this one, I got it for my birthday when it first came out. As a kid I was very excited that was until I played it. It drained the life out of me , I played it until the first river mission. I tossed it aside, my parents asked if I liked it and that I completed it I said *yes*. But instead i played batman Arkham City.

[@Big_Dai]

"that was COMMA until I played it"

[@LiilYogurt]

@@PoisondBacon I mean they ain't wrong, I had to re-read the sentence like 3 times to realize what they meant, a comma woulda really helped. I don't think it's being a douche to help try to make something clearer

[@mightyjoy2568]

​@@LiilYogurtThese days on social Media, you can get hate, even when being helpful. I still get, what you mean.

[@justanotheryoutubechannel]

It’s a shame it wasn’t a better game, the writing and voice cast is genuinely pretty good. Hopefully you had plenty of fun with the other stuff you got that Christmas.

[@Faceless_time_traveler]

You know, when I think of a Doctor Who video game, various genres come to my mind... RPG maker horror, point and click, first person games, maybe games like Myst or The Room series The last thing that comes to my mind is a 2d platformer... It's like a developer decided to make a Crash Bandicoot Telltale game

[@thedeadpoolwhochuckles.6852]

A metroidvania could work. please delete the crash telltale comment before it becomes fully realized.

[@niallscottanimation]

I think they were in part going for cinematic platformer a la Another World, Flashback, Abe's Oddysee etc, which In my head makes sense. To bad the execution was off, I actually think it looks sorta neat for the time it came out, graphically at least. Looking at it reminded me actually of the latest attempt in the Oddworld series- Soulstorm, which was not very positvely received. I think it's difficult to pull of 2.5D without it feeling janky, as much as I would like that stuff to work. And if the whole gameplay is stealthy platforming but you feel outta control... yeah it sucks (that said I still enjoyed what I could of the Soulstorm, it had err, good intentions).

[@liamcollinson5695]

I dunno I think the vr game actually had tons of wasted potential it's a shame it felt so cheap

[@rennythespaceguy7285]

I mean it's a genre where the goal is just to run down corridors, in concept it works fine

[@jvtentertainment7943]

I personally think an mmorpg might work too with planets being different zones

[@elfieharper]

my favorite episode of doctor who is where river song kisses everyone to reach her hat-collecting husband so that they may form a human centipede

[@robmooreproductions7160]

For those who can't remember or are just curious River is a Time Lord despite having two human parents because she was conceived inside the Time Vortex. Yup, Amy and Rory made fucc in the TARDIS

[@nano-liam]

So does this mean that time lords were originally humans who's mothers came into contact with the time vortex during pregnancy?

[@Un039]

No I'm pretty sure they are a different species

[@jkx107]

"do time lords care about fall damage?" *insert 4th doctor's wild stare*

[@James_McDonald]

Fun Fact: this game was originally going to be a trilogy of games. But because of how the game was received and the terrible sales of it. It was decided to cancel the planned sequels, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise because Supermassive Games went on to create Until Dawn, one of the best horror games to come out in recent years.

[@ebanraymond]

boom. butterfly effect

[@Honey-Biscuit]

"In recent years" Casual reminder that was *eight* years ago now.

[@James_McDonald]

@@Honey-Biscuit Thank you for reminding me about my word choice.

[@Glitchtophertm]

I'm more upset because we had some good adventure games on PC that got canceled so they can make this game only for it to be poorly received and having its sequels canceled…

[@notacat7127]

@@Honey-Biscuitthis is why gaming(new games) are dead nothing to be excited about when all the good games came out years ago

[@Twillek1019_]

River Song: Actual Name is Melody Pond. Shes the daughter of Rory and Amy, she was conceived in the Tardis and the Time radiation gave her the ability to regenerate. We first see her in the episode with the big library where she meets the 10th doctor and that’s the episode where she dies. we see her again in Matt Smiths take over and she states “we keep meeting each other out of order” eventually the 11th meets her before her regeneration into the River we know where she goes by the name Melody and states that she’s Amy’s best friend. She gets shot but she reveals that she’s actually Amy’s daughter which gives us the line “you named your daughter after your daughter?” And she regenerates into the River Song we know. At the end of the episode we see 11th give River the Diary her future self carried.

[@Goatmanification]

One of my university lecturers worked on this game, apparently even they knew it was so awful that they called it 'the eternity cock' during development. Also fun fact, in the trailer for the game there's even a very obvious bug shown.

[@SanFran51]

So basically it was a bad idea even from the beginning..... it's never a good sign when the free Doctor Who games were the best.

[@CineScarborough]

Stuff your lecturer for not realising how great his game actually was.

[@MarquisLeary34]

I can't help but recall my alltime favorite Dr. Who line "Just once, I'd like to face an enemy that can be defeated with guns!"

[@Alanwake-qr7he]

Got To love the brigadier

[@pikapal91]

The Time Lords do care about fall damage, considering The Doctor himself has regenerated twice due to fall damage

[@Wh173c0c0]

Hey guys, since you weren't paying attention to the story, I'll sum it up for you: The Doctor goes back in time to erase the origin points of anyone who made this game. His ultimate goal was to ensure that a good Doctor Who game would one day exist. Of course, you didn't finish it, so now that future may never be. 🙁

[@megamonster333]

There was at least 1 good Doctor Who game. It was only a flash game but it was called Attack of the grask, absolutely loved it as a kid. You can still find a working version if you dig around

[@bonnie1020a]

Wasn't that one originally a TV game you'd play with the TV remote? I loved playing the flash version too. There were also the K9 and Dalek flash games.

[@megamonster333]

@@bonnie1020a no idea, I only ever saw it on flash. Yeah there was some great flash games back in the day

[@williammiller3277]

How about lego dimensions?

[@TXFDA]

The thing that annoys me, is that Doctor Who could make a great game if someone actually cared enough to try. I'd imagine it'd be heavily focused on puzzles and stealth, with the occasional combat section when necessary. Honestly, I'd love to see an attempt at a Doctor Who game where you solely play as a custom-made companion character, and you follow the Doctor around. I know, most people would wanna play AS the Doctor, but consider, not being the Doctor gives you more freedom to do things that Doctor wouldn't do. Like getting into actual combat. And they could easily still let the player be involved in decisions and travel destinations.

[@esmeecampbell7396]

The issue of playing AS the Doctor is that we aren't super smart and don't know anything about the universe we're in. Gameplay quickly becomes, point screwdriver at thing and push button, with little else actually going on. Although that is what quite a lot of the Dr Who plot boils down to. There's nothing to do in game format in that world, we can't taste the food, we don't run or experience the danger really. It essentially just leaves us with a sideshow of interesting visual concepts (which if you're in VR is about as good as it gets) anything more complex mechanic wise starts to fall apart, stealth is incredibly basic and repetitive, puzzles don't really make sense. That's why the company had to cram in platforming and "push the box" into this game, just to try and give you something to do. Not all things in one medium necessarily translate well into another, especially games, its why so many movie tie in games are bad, not just rushed production to meet the movie release, but that the story itself doesn't lend itself to being anything

[@lastsonoftennessee9895]

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" means that you shouldn't be overly critical of a gift, like examining the teeth of a horse someone gives you. In this case, it is being used to refer to a gift from fate, but it's the same general idea.

[@livf3107]

It's like they took the Abe's Oddysee series, plastered Dr Who assets all over it, then made it terrible

[@DeathInTheSnow]

You know, this could've been a PlayStation Move game, with the sonic screwdriver. Imagine the _fun_ you could have had then.

[@safebox36]

I think the British version of "never look a gift horse in the mouth" is "never take a semi-final to the bookies."

[@maxkennedy7430]

Happy Doctor Who Day Everyone! Ahhh I remember enjoying this game. But the One thing that really REALLY Annoyed the Hell out of Me, was that You couldn’t Wear the Hats you collect! That would’ve been Fantastic!! Argh!! Was it too much for Supermassive games to code in hats for the Doctor to wear?

[@justjack5914]

I need mind pulp videos drip fed into my veins I can’t get enough of this shit

[@Julios_47]

So glad that we have Doctor Who today, and also a video of you guys about this game

[@MrPcgamer4ever]

I have played this on pc and it was meh. Happy Star Beast day everyone!🎉

[@Retromicky82]

How was the ai

[@pridenixon]

This game is trying to teach kids that the screwdriver is mightier than the laser pistol

[@SunnyShuklathedoctor]

8:10 she gets his keys in the show if i remember correctly, lipstick has sleeping agent in it. Could be very wrong. Absolutely hilarious how they just cut it here.

[@finmiles965]

I remember playing the “mobile” weeping angels game and it was really well done to my surprise! But damn was this one bad 😅 So hyped for the anniversary special, I feel like a kid again

[@Zomdra]

David Tennant's Doctor at least definitely didn't care about fall damage; he once dove out of a spaceship, fell through a tall, glass ceiling and then got right back up and cocked a revolver. He had a few scratches on his face but seemed pretty much OK.

[@sle_epytight]

Damn, even in an off hand comment a woman is recommended a revolver instead of her first choice Glock that she's researched extensively.

[@ODUBlue]

"Time Lords don't care about fall damage!" * Cue horrible Tom Baker flashback *

[@SzymonWajner]

Definitely one of the Doctor Who games of all time.

[@CineScarborough]

River Song used hallucinogenic lipstick to influence the guard to let her out. She does it in the show too.

[@moretoknowshow1887]

I've always said Dr. Who deserves a proper AAA developer to create an exciting title. I'd love to see a Ubisoft or EA take on and create a 20-30 hr title that lets you not only see new worlds, have companions, and pilot the TARDIS, but lets you create a Dr. in your own visage to boot. I suspect w/ Disney taking over co-production we may see (hopefully) something sooner than later..

[@SoraSummer]

Why Ubisoft or EA though? EA will fill it with micro-transactions with hardly any gameplay. But if it's anything like those Star Wars games, then yeah acceptable. Ubisoft Will have an interesting idea but their execution will be horrible. It'll feel like any other Ubisoft game out there.

[@moretoknowshow1887]

@@SoraSummer I'm picking random AAAs to make a point: The developers they've handed off the license to in the past(outside TT Games w/ their Lego Dimensions entry) have, pardon the cockney term, taken a tom tit all over the franchise. Here's hoping with Disney taking over co-production of the series now we'll FINALLY get a really good AAA level title that looks and plays amazing..

[@Theonionofthedisneyjuniorlore]

“The Bank of England with the whole lot of money they stole”

[@skysb4kedb3ans28]

Man as a teen I remember seeing this game at GameStop, picked it up and said to myself, “woah Doctor Who game that’s neat.” Put it down never saw it again… until now.

[@fuzzyotterpaws4395]

Currie has never heard of the common gift horse phrase?! That's super common in America, not a British thing. Maybe they don't say it in Canada 😂

[@th1nkcr1tical29]

Be happy cus it's free type shit. Not always rooted in good intentions.

[@EeveeFromAlmia]

‘Do you think time lords care about fall damage?’ Lol 4 died from falling off a building, and 6 bonked his head. Ild say that counts as fall damage.

[@jasonjones7461]

i badly needed this new mind pulp episode today...and it did not disappoint 😂. Also you guys should look into the Wii game "escape from bug island". I knew it would make a damn funny video before the opening cutscene was even over.

[@moop5507]

hooray i remember playing this game vividly as a kid and being really dissapointed thank you for this therapy mind pulp. 🙃

[@Scrummy64]

I played this and The Adventure Games when I was in my teens, and have fond memories of both. Not planning any replays though - probably best to just stick with the rose-tinted glasses😂

[@Rebrn-bk5em]

Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

[@KornKrlz2]

3 men 1 car is my fav British show

[@Kenny42047]

I don’t know what’s worse, the game you’re analyzing, or the sponsor you’re explaining. Regardless I’m here for it, the only KZbin channel where I don’t skip the sponsors because it still fits your niche 😂

[@cabriskus4700]

For real, I don’t know who actually plays these types of games. But they’re probably the people we should avoid contact from

[@r.a.fgattaiguy845]

​@@cabriskus4700that is some real idiotic logic there

[@adrianstjarnfaldt9895]

​@@cabriskus4700allot of ppl do xD why do you think genshin impact is as big as it is dummy xD

[@brainfuckcode4990]

​@@r.a.fgattaiguy845you have a little anime boy pfp, you're one of them

[@brainfuckcode4990]

​@@r.a.fgattaiguy845oh my god i just saw your channel banner and your videos, you really are someone we should avoid 💀

[@esmeecampbell7396]

4:06 that's actually a John Finnemore sketch. The cuckoo clock hat of mad Prince Ludwig

[@sle_epytight]

People purchasing horses look at their teeth. If someone gifts you a horse it's an insult to do so.

[@joshs2734]

Just a side note: Honkai: Star Rail is actually really fantastic for anyone who isn't aware of it. I think many people, including myself, tend to dismiss games that get advertised by KZbinrs due to things like Raid, but Star Rail is 100% worth your time...if you enjoy turn based RPG's that is.

[@amimm7776]

How does it compare to emulating something like 7th dragon, or etrian odyssey, actual console RPGs?

[@colddogs]

i can't remember the details, but the breaking into the bank of england through a grate is an actual true story. a plumber or some other sewer worker found out the security flaw. instead of robbing the vault, he contacted the bank leadership and asked to be met in the vault at a certain time where he then popped up out of the grate. they awarded him something like the equivalent of $50,000 for reporting it.

[@jimmyho1871]

The closest thing to compare in America are Bill and Ted, Rick and Morty series.

[@jacoblofthus7908]

As far as British TV, Primeval stands out to me.

[@jasonjones7461]

"3 men drive cars " is the best thing ever lol. The british one with Clarkson, may and hammond. Any other Top Gear is trash. Im American and i love that classic show. To this day everytime anyone says "Good news!" I always interrupt and ask about the Dacia Sandero. Nobody has ever had any idea wtf im on about lol

[@Kingofthenerds51]

I loved the Doctor Who Adventure Game series that came out, so I'm upset that those seem to be removed from the entire internet

[@omarsaad4072]

You guys should give Jaws for the PS2 a try, i’m pretty sure you guys are gonna get some pretty sweet mind pulp content out of it though.

[@justanotheryoutubechannel]

This is actually kinda cool, while the gameplay looks kinda drab and the graphics are questionable, this genuinely captures the doctor who spirit. Sonic screwdriver mini games, music from the show, some nice interface graphics, the real cast doing the voice acting, and pretty good writing which suits the cast really well, much better than the modern writing you see today. I was genuinely really impressed to see such accurate versions of Matt Smith and River, even though they’re played out through blocky PS3 models I had several doctor who games as a kid, but I couldn’t get into them much, so maybe I’ll go back and replay them now. I’m desperately craving more of that lovely 2010 doctor who energy after trudging through the Chibnall years… Also, River escaped by using the Hallucinogenic lipstick on that guy in Stormcage, don’t you remember anything from Season 5? /hj

[@sawftbunzzz]

Brought the best doctor back just to completely destroy his legacy and treat him like a piece of crap doctor who is dead

[@NoahGooder]

they pretty much killed the entire IP with the whole "timeless child" fiasco nvm the current insanity.

[@H4Jack]

"Time lords dont care about fall damage" 4th doctor:

[@nuttyrock6899]

Don't worry, I won't let that Nasty woman anywhere near you..... moans and groans😂😂😂😂 Sounds like a true best friend 4:30

[@spongemaster]

He sounded more like Wallace than the Doctor

[@Adarkane325xi]

@8:51 River never looked that good in the show. The Matt Smith run was probably the strongest of the show. He may not be the best Doctor, but those arcs were phenomenal. The weeping angels?

[@pjfair12547]

They had doctor who, they could set the game anywhere and everywhere. They open in a grey bank vault

[@HazeTheWarlock]

Once there was such game series as Army Men. There were games in different genres, from TPS to RTS, from bad to decent enough. I think it would be nice if you pick some of them for next videos 🙂

[@bangeranginretroman3064]

Play Army Men : Soldiers of Misfortune. One of the WORST ps2 games ive ever interacted with

[@FIFFAN18]

Slightly disappointed there isn’t someone in the comments saying ‘his name isn’t doctor who!’

[@jordantatata155]

I feel a full doctor who game where you could travel to wherever or whenever at will could be decent

[@DamnedSilly]

David Tennant was still in diapers when the best Doctor was on the show.

[@quaiddairloom9221]

I feel a little better knowing that the US isn't the only country with a failing economy

[@nicolemerrill9167]

Number goes up lmao great intro ad ,that is the way to do a ad take notice other channles

[@theflickchick9850]

Glad to know that LEGO Dimensions is still the best Doctor Who video game.

[@DanAD179]

Who thought a doctor who platforming side scroller would work. A third person sonic screwdriver shooter blasting alien heads off makes more sense

[@McCloudious]

One day we'll get a red dwarf game... A good one.... Okay.... Maybe not 😢

[@CertifiedNEETClassic]

Forget Matt Smith, I want to see Christopher Eccleston with hypnotic lipstick. 😂

[@vigi1antvort3x41]

Would of been much better if the game was a 1st person mystery adventure game.

[@cRazySam2121]

Glad you've made your videos longer guys!!

[@DoobieKeebler]

As an American, your TV was also mostly made up of Skins, Gavin & Stacey, Jimmy Carr, Alan Davies, Rob Brydon, David Mitchell and yearly airings of Monty Python.

[@The-Demon-Cola]

This was still better than the sh*tty 60th anniversary special.

[@The-Demon-Cola]

@@user-ni7yh9om2l 'Hmu?'

[@Saddonghussein]

I remember when inside gaming play this games, before they became funhaus and start doing "social media jokes" in every video

[@bradzandmaxplays]

River song was born is the tardis and had regenerated into that body u see now

[@DeviantDork]

Video starts at 2:16

[@TwoCentReview]

“All I know how to do is put on leather and kiss BOYS!” Sounds like life skills to me.

[@cupriferouscatalyst3708]

Funny thing about the gift horse expression is that it's originally a reference to the Trojan Horse; a gift horse you ABSOLUTELY should look in the mouth.

[@PsyrenXY]

13 literally fell from orbit so the no fall damage thing might be canon

[@Twillek1019_]

Let’s be honest, this game is better than the majority of the other doctor who games.

[@bloodrunsclear]

Dr. Who Dies: 'I would regenerate...but that would be effort!'

[@anssiket1]

I got stuck in the last mission (I think), because there's too much work to do and not enough time. I tried it again years later, but no no no... Still same problems. No time, time lord has not enough time

[@ChampagneOasisGaming]

Little britain, garth marenghis darkplace, the mighty boosh, nathan barley, brass eye, the day today, shooting stars, bang bang its reeves and moritmer - Just a few examples of prime british cult classic viewing. IDK why you are so down on your own entertainment culture man. There's some real gems! (Guess its different when you grew up with these shows)

[@STKMY94]

I actually loved this game lol the hardest difficulty is actually a decent challenge 😅

[@mikeforeman3324]

the gameplay was the same. the only thing that was hard was the Mind Maps where you gotta rotate to make an image. that's about it. got 100% recently

[@STKMY94]

@@mikeforeman3324 yeah its really just the amount of time you get to solve the puzzles that’s different. I think I got stuck at the Cyberman bit then left it. I only need to complete a hard run through for platinum but I’m not that fussed about going back to it now.

[@gellofrmda6ix443]

Y’all get funnier and funnier each video

[@gangstaflamingo]

1:10 number go up

[@RealStreetMania]

I actually really enjoyed this game when I played it. Sure it's not amazing by any means, but there's still some cool stuff within it. Especially compared to other Doctor Who games at the time.

[@joshhumphreys2076]

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth isn't just a saying. It's literal. You can check a horse's teeth to get a good idea of its health. Thusly if you're gifted one for free just take it and be grateful. It's another way of saying beggars can't be choosers.

[@T0xiCthEw0lf]

I swear River Song's outfit looks like a clone of Ada's outfit from re6

[@kanadashyuugo873]

17:40 WEEEELLLLL the MODERN Cybermen WERE created by an alternate Earth tech-mogul

[@smolpanda1039]

"The cancelled fellas" that fuckin killed me lmao

[@slartibartfastsfjord]

I wanted to see how far you'd get...Glad I'm not the only one who rage quit at the same place 😂

[@harryb9591]

"Time Lords don't care about fall damage" The Fourth Doctor, Logopolis

[@tigerhunter3203]

give us BULLY PART 3. Trying to bully you into it lol

[@geraltzrivii3860]

Eternity Clock is nice game. Shame it doesnt have sequels.

[@matthewavery2934]

I thought we already established Doctor Who as the worst game ever, I guess this game didn’t redeem itself

[@MrSkerpentine]

Iirc the Wii version of this game came with a custom Wiimote that looked like a perfectly scaled Sonic Screwdriver. They didn’t need to do that at all (especially for a game this shit) but I was impressed when I found out

[@cupriferouscatalyst3708]

Why is his head sliiightly too big? Like, not cartoonishly big in a stylized way, it's just like, 6% bigger than it should be.

[@JBoo00]

DR HOO - owl parody