The beauty of being a misfit | Lidia Yuknavitch

To those who feel like they don't belong: there is beauty in being a misfit. Author Lidia Yuknavitch shares her own wayward journey in an intimate recollection of patchwork stories about loss, shame and the slow process of self-acceptance. "Even at the moment of your failure, you are beautiful," she says. "You don't know it yet, but you have the ability to reinvent yourself endlessly. That's your beauty."
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[@kinsmed]

"There is no true genius without a touch of madness." -Robin Williams

[@EpicBandicoot]

"Name one genius that ain't crazy" - Kanye West

[@ElectricityTaster]

Oh man, I think I got a bit more than a touch. pls send help

[@kinsmed]

Proving my point...

[@kinsmed]

So sad...

[@kinsmed]

Silver Side So sad that your philosophy will be forgotten... or whatever you call it.

[@dansortizo2555]

"Even at the moment of your failure. You are beautiful. You don't know it yet but you have the ability to reinvent yourself, endlessly."

[@lynnclark4182]

Yes I Am starting to see How much of a Blessing This Is Thank you

[@cloudy1426]

that hit me so hard

[@metalkez]

I felt like she was talking to me... and funny enough today I said to a friend " Why in my life I am just so close to get things... but always end up with nothing..."

[@dansortizo2555]

metalkez What you said reminded me of Al Pacino's speech in Scent of A Woman. He said " I always knew what the right path was but I never took it. You know why? because it was too damn hard"

[@elianareona]

"And I'd be listening" killed me. What a power house of a woman.

[@anasahistifarin5047]

you know what they say the most damaged people are the wisest

[@billionhappy]

I wouldn’t say I’m the most damaged out there, but thank you ;00

[@PaulThomas-ex6ko]

I wonder if children who have been sexually abused, (like me) are like what you say..

[@asdefg374]

Not always. Some people are just born stupid.

[@ditzfough]

Failure is the best teacher.

[@aidand.7911]

*Iroh has joined the chat* *Iroh has requested to ask if you would like a cup of tea*

[@MelanieAnneAhern]

I expected this to be a sort-of "everyone's a special snowflake everything about you is special blah blah" talk- but it really wasn't. It was simply the encouraging words of a woman who has felt out of place in the labels she's felt she needed to take on. Honestly, I think everyone has felt at one time or another what this woman describes. Just yesterday I was talking with my mom about how I feel odd because I'm not doing the things I "should be doing" for someone my age. I get so easily distracted by what others are doing, and what others think about what I'M doing. I so often feel like a misfit. So I am grateful for this TED talk. "Your story deserves to be heard, because you rare and phenomenal misfit you, new species, are the only one in the room who can tell the story the way you would." I'll keep this in my heart.

[@DjJooze]

Bullshitl

[@amandahernandez6117]

I feel the same way.

[@lambusaab]

Melanie Anne Ahern Very well put fellow-misfit

[@papercut7141]

That's literally "you are a special snowflake" in fancier words though

[@PoppyB2011]

So you haven't read the Chronology of Water yet then? You should do that. You'll understand this in perspective.

[@Maracujakeks]

"You can reinvent yourself endlessly." Love that quote!

[@nohatarek6153]

Yeah, it's so beautiful

[@montesa9136]

@steff - the quote is not the tiniest bit true. If it were, we would all be happy

[@Maracujakeks]

@@montesa9136 well, she says we CAN. How many people actually DO it, or are working to achieve it, is the other question. :)

[@montesa9136]

@@Maracujakeks @staff - I understand what you are saying. The problem is that it's not the tiniest bit practical or realistic for most of us. People have limits, if something is too hard they end up failing ........

[@Natalia_Belenkaya]

As a 46 year old working in a convenience store, I'm watching this with tears in my eyes - sometimes all you do is choke on that voice your story will never get. Not that it's such a big loss for mankind or anything. What a brave, beautiful woman, so willing to admit her humble beginnings, and what a gorgeous flower she blossomed into, despite all that.

[@x15Lovex]

This talk summarized: Wherever you are in life, you've got comeback power. A setback is a setup for a comeback.

[@bel-esprit3109]

its more rare than that, its a message for us who summaries cant catch

[@peegeebeedee7563]

U Ever Set A Person Up?

[@BilgePump]

Thank you for that Matt Foley motivational speaker.

[@aditikanade7207]

So true. Glad to know there's more of us who can perceive the message that transcends beyond the barriers of a myopic perspective towards everything.

[@chelseaaa5001]

Why would you try to summarize this entire thing?

[@urbanbeardman6840]

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels...". Thank you for such an inspiring and genuine talk. Thank you.

[@moniquevamado]

This is pure GOLD. I understand every word. My favorite TED talk yet. Bless.

[@Q313-h8r]

Monique Amado Life Coach & Artist yes I agree with you she a pure gold and awesome wemon as well. . atc.

[@hafsamohamdy1571]

- "And the dream of being a writer was really kind of like a small sad stone in my throat!" Wow! Honestly this lady's speech touched the strings of my heart that I can't describe how deep it felt 💖

[@6672rock]

I can relate to this. You feel like you're on the periphery of life observing everything that's going on around you, but you can't put a voice to it. You're spinning your wheels trying to figure out why you're the odd man out all the time. There's a certain beauty in that process of self-discovery. You take those horrible moments in your life and try to put a positive spin on them so you can come out the other end a stronger person. Like the saying goes, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

[@sexyscorp16]

You've described into details a lifestyle of a misfits so well👌

[@MayaA-wq2ce]

What a courageous woman!! This is truly inspiring and eye-opening.. Unfortunately, we never really pay attention to the people around us who are struggling. Just because we dont know their story doesnt mean they dont have one.

[@binitfrancis969]

I feel I am a misfit too.. I am 20 years old and today I myself distroyed my opportunity to graduate by not writing my exams. The thing which I learned by now is that we don't have cure for our problems.. they simply haunt you and when times come when you feel okay and then you keep on digging on your past and re Kindle those pain. And now the root issue is that even being a misfit and even after knowing that moving on and doing things will make you stronger.. we tend to stuck ourself, we keep this sense of hopelessness when hard times hit us. Maybe that's life. It's altogether a different world than we expected or as we assumed it to be. But yeah today, I would like to thank you for healing me, for making me feel something worth.

[@coldnate]

I loved this. I think everyone can, at least a little bit, identify with being a misfit in some way. We tend to value conforming to cultural norms rather than encouraging odd individuality. Sometimes one's entire life can be changed by embracing that which makes them a misfit, rather than tucking it away in order to fit in. I guess this is just a fancy way of saying "be yourself."

[@cory8242]

lolz i disagree.. but this made my life!

[@vvv-zo9ps]

+Jan Jappie They can be themselves as long as they are not hurting anybody. They are in the same situation we are in.

[@jenniferh.7219]

coldnate absolutely, thank you!

[@peegeebeedee7563]

I Think I Should Start Conforming! I've Been A Nonconformist For Too Long!

[@HellcatMad]

Its actually a great thing to be misfit.

[@rj4232]

omg I fuckin cried. saving this to watch later for those moments when I think I don't deserve to be happy.

[@wakenbake22]

I had Lidia as a writing teacher and she is an amazing person. opened my mind.

[@Taylor-Hanson]

I want you to know that everyone deserves to be happy.

[@nathanael2345]

Same here.

[@Eddietheallrounder]

I'm really glad I took the time to watch this. I have no idea if you'll read these comments, but I have endless respect for you already, for managing to get back on your feet. We're not defined by our mistakes or our misfortunes, but rather the person that we become after all is said and done. And you seem like a pretty great person.

[@Erebus.666.]

Wow, touching stuff. As a former homeless, ex alcoholic, recovering heroin addict, that was so moving. Thank you Lidia Yuknavitch and TED.(Only came here after hearing about this talk in one of her books I've just started.)

[@AppleSlicesUnite]

This made me cry at the realization of my story's potential

[@jenl732]

I'm so grateful I've seen this today. I'm socially awkward, so it's great to know I'm not alone. Thank you so much.

[@paulhansen6496]

Being grateful and socially awkward makes you part of the crew I hope rejoices in who the are!

[@Yarshy.]

Feel so out of place in this world and like I don't deserve to be happy, thank you for this talk. :(

[@galia.g]

of course you do

[@Yarshy.]

***** :( thank you

[@nathanael2345]

You do, my friend. Just keep trying to know yourself better and to forgive your past and it will get better!

[@JKirk03]

Seek Jesus Christ; and know that the Son of the Only True and Holy God, Creator of heavens and earth, gave His life for you, because He loves you.

[@jankopp6005]

i LOVED how everyone stood up at the end, such a great talk!

[@gailnorc]

Such powerful words: “how many times I had to reinvent a self from the ruins of my choices”. 🤘🤘🤘

[@filmcourage]

Should be required listening in every English class.

[@devantejackson8109]

it is for mine

[@albertjolly2754]

Same

[@raymondreddington6317]

i thought i'm lonely in this tiny part of the world who have this sense of misfitting but it turned out that a lot like me and they seek just for a voice to bring their story out of their throat

[@tiffanysar-lecluze5679]

Exactly

[@jennifersinclair5988]

I love her voice, her lack of conformity, she doesn't have familiar social quirks, she speaks true.

[@howardkurtus7069]

her story is so beautiful

[@user-nf9jb3ve3o]

i love this. Even when you fail, you are still beautiful. You always have the opportunity to change yourself. You can give yourself the opportunity to be proud of yourself. This is your beauty.

[@starrynight1982]

The one TED talk I keep coming back to. I love that woman and her writing. She has saved me more than once, and keeps on doing so

[@starrynight1982]

My favourite ever TED talk from one of my favourite authors. I keep coming back to this talk, and it never fails to make me nod, and cry, and feel comforted. Such beauty, such fragility.

[@GemmaTrellis]

So this totally made me cry. Wasn't until right near the end there, but it got me. I still don't know what I want or what to do and I'm at a point in my life where I'm starting to feel the pressure (mainly from myself, I will admit) to have it 'figured out' or have a 'passion' or a 'dream'. I don't even know how to dream. I was asked 'if you had unlimited resources, if there were no limits and you knew you would succeed, what would you do?' and I sighed and frowned and thought a lot and all I said was 'I don't know'. I'm hoping I figure it out in my own way soon, I've still got a bit of re-inventing to do.

[@cwcwx]

I cried. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. Not even being ashamed of things or ourselves sometimes. Thanks for this, this was beautiful. ♥

[@Q313-h8r]

cwcwx that right

[@izaliv5345]

This made me cry..

[@tinyrobot6813]

Same....

[@msnatashaio]

Lidia Yuknavitch your an amazing person..

[@MarkLucasProductions]

This is so painful. There is nothing I can do to repress my tears, my groans. I'm gasping. Oh God, I've never cried so hard. What is this?

[@placeb0fication]

It sounds like release. It's scary, but it's okay. Sometimes, we have to revisit anguish and trauma in order to let it go.

[@montesa9136]

@Mark Lucas - there are Millions of us Misfits out there. Her story is NOTHING compared to others. Life is a CURSE for many of us

[@Krllytos]

I think who feels like it`s a misfit should no more desire to fit and all the world will seem different. We sould learn to love ourselfs just the way we are and never again seek approval from others. Like she said don`t use the highway of the world, just set a destination and walk your own path to there!

[@corsariocapitao]

When she said she's a mother now, I almost cried

[@ZombiefreakPrincess]

Thank you Lidia you beautiful angel! I have been a misfit all my life and still to this day so I appreciate what you went through and your story is precious to me! God bless 💝

[@FebruaryMang]

Lidia, this ripped me wide open. Filleted my rib cage to let my cries out. I have plenty of tears as a 40 year old misfit with CRPS. Most days I just want to die. I’ve never written that. Or even muttered it aloud. But it’s the truth. This TED Talk just bought me some more time. Time to put my voice to my stories, my poems, my misfit melancholia. I cannot begin to thank you enough, Lidia. Truly. I also should thank the University of Oregon teacher I had before my big 40th birthday diagnosis of complex regional pain syndrome, who had put Dora: A Headcase on her syllabus. And who treated me like the nontraditional student I was. Because she encouraged the words I hold so dear. And she encouraged the reading of other misfits outside of my invisible circle. And I couldn’t be happier today. For just this long wordy moment. I’m about to start reading The Misfit’s Manifesto. I just need to get up, medicate for my pain, and then go outside and scream at this beautifully overcast Eugene autumn afternoon as my way of saying THANKS to the Universe for leading me to this TED Talk. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[@The-Portland-Daily-Blink]

I sometimes forget how brilliant this is… but it’s so helpful. Every so often, I like to listen to this, and remember how profound it is…

[@davidlevine7164]

There are no failures. The fact that you are alive, viewing this video, reading this comment, means that you are an extremely rare and precious thing. I could not imagine a bigger success.

[@moonchild1518]

I cried all the way through, the writing is beckoning me from within. I'm inspired by the spirit of your courage and strength. Namaste

[@rebeccalittleton6333]

"You rare and phenomenal misfit. You new species, are the only one in the room who can tell the story the way only you would, and I'd be listening."

[@wongmandy7157]

It is not a TED talk but a story from this woman. Everyone gets to tell his story of being a misfit. How great your story is to tell!

[@exsearcher]

This could have been my mother, who I never understood as she lived a life like this, away from us. As I got older I came to really respect her bravery for living the life she wanted in a way that only she understood. Great talk

[@Nicole-we9ti]

Truly touched by this talk, such bravery, such heart laid bare. Thank you beautiful misfit - you are a rare force. Thank you for allowing us the privilege to see your soul shine. Incredibly inspiring. I'm moved to tears.

[@ozdergekko]

I'd like to write something witty now, but tears blur my sight. Thank you, Lidia!

[@wetokebitcoins1769]

Wonderful, had me tearing up and I usually hate everything on youtube.

[@thecowboy9698]

I think to truly fit in, you first have to know yourself, and what your values are. People connect over a shared value system.

[@fatimasamira3695]

"we are nothing without each other." Well said

[@rebecalescano8209]

I don't know if she would ever read this, but just in case: "Thank you, I really needed to hear this, from the bottom of my misfit heart, THANK YOU".

[@ChiaraViolaBlu]

I forgot about the title and while I was listening to you I thought that this was something full of beauty, and then I rode the title and yes, this is pure beauty.

[@LeoTommyGun]

This was amazingly beautiful speech. I feel that usually people who have greater ability of empathy are usually misfits. In today's society unfortunately isn't enough empathy and yes as Lidia said this world need misfits as we are the ones that care and bring creativity and peace onto the world.

[@youthf7c343]

I am a misfit. Thank you for this wonderful talk

[@dylanmraz]

"And I'd be listening" you beautiful person you, thank you.

[@francistylercald9587]

this was one of the best TED talks of all time

[@kaaarennnn]

I love simple ted talks like this. It definitely made me cry. You're amazing.

[@ryanrivera5189]

This talk inspired me to get outta bed and go to class, thank you 💜

[@wakenbake22]

"and I kind of went deaf. has this ever happened to you?" Lidia's the best

[@nephrenqayin254]

The message she brought here has a key that most people miss in life. Being an outsider, outcast or a misfit is being unique, not a trend but that's not the message here. The message here is life will bring you circumstances whether good or terrible. You can even hit rock bottom by the worst circumstances. But the key here is to GET UP even if it's by doing baby steps, you have to GET UP. People might come and try to help you get out of things that have come without a choice like grief and loss, or by the wrong choices you have made, but at the end of the day it's UP to YOU to GET UP and use those terrible circumstances to your advantage. Very profound message.

[@reedsylvier5250]

I understand this so well. The rare moments I'm happy and privelaged and ruin it by feeling I don't deserve it or can't have it. I'll never ask for help because my personality doesn't allow it. I self sabotage. It's my nature.

[@SwolePedestrian]

This is so inspiring. someone who truly lived a life that wasn't normal and still stayed true to themselves through it all shows me I can do the same. Us misfits are special in every sense of the word. we have so many obstacles in our lives yet we still maintain and never change who we are. the world needs more misfits. we are living proof that you don't have to "fit in" to be successful in life, because we have ourselves to turn to. and for a misfit that's all we need, we dream of acceptance but never really need it, and I never realized that until now. thank you for doing this speech. you've taught me alot in 13 minutes.

[@jaymulligan7391]

You've touched on something so deep. Hope springs eternal. Never give up. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@aishashaikh5699]

man why do ted talks make me cry? i feel so light and free and good after watching them. the moment she said "who am i to go to newyork" i started to think how i have said things like those to myself bc of things i am not in control of i started crying bc i realised how this woman realised that its wrong to say that about yourself . these people are getting past all the superficial ideas and thoughts. theyre amazing

[@manoelmiguel4117]

I wanna thank Lidia for such encouraging speech and example of life. Life has its beauty and miracle hidden in each one of us. Congratulations!

[@kazm8brap]

This spoke to me in many ways, absolutely beautiful speech with such a heart warming message! what an amazing lady

[@jacquelinemanzano9328]

Amazing speech, tahnk you for sharing a part of yourself. Reinventing oneself, there is no greater feeling than the exhilaration of victory.

[@alexandriagachuhi7718]

Oh WOW! I can relate to this story so much. All my life, I have always MISsed FITting - anywhere but especially with myself. I'm now trying to to heal that. Thank you so much for sharing your story 💕

[@DeBonisK]

One of the best TED talks I've heard.

[@imjacobthornton]

Awww Im going to cry! What an amazing human being

[@hyenaedits3460]

What doesn't kill you gives you good story ideas.

[@findsomethintoApreC8]

This touched my heart so deeply. She found the words to what I always felt. I didn't knew there are people feeling like me out there. And I'll surely will follow her advice and tell the story so that I would be saved. Thank you.

[@randomperson537]

You may label yourself a misfit but your are unique, an inspiration, and perfect just as you are. I feel honored to have found you. Blessings to you.

[@cwl82108]

So touching....specially that last part...thanks for giving a great speech

[@istrashqueen]

I don't have the book on hand but I'm pretty confident she delivered an entire chapter from her memoir verbatim, it's just tickling that remembering in my brain. Or maybe the chapter from her memoir is verbatim this talk that she's given.

[@dee_archives]

i needed this today. the "and i'd be listening" was everything. such courage, such realness, and so raw. thank you

[@lauritacerda]

Thank you

[@harrymanocha4533]

Thank YOU, Laura.

[@PetrodollarDealEndedSoWakeUp]

+Asuna Kazuto No, thank YOU Asuna

[@burpie3258]

No, Thank YOU Adonis

[@codeman7780]

Wow...really goes to show how much of an impact early life experiences can have on people. What an amazing person o_o.

[@marielgonzalez5910]

This was just beautiful. I'm in tears. Thank you.

[@deborahaviles708]

I could listen to this a thousand times & be inspired each & every time I hear it. I cannot begin to express or elaborate exactly how much I appreciate your story or why it touched my heart in a way I didn't expect. However, what I can say is thank you & your story is amazing & yes, I was listening... Not just hearing...I was listening intently! My wish, is that I might somehow absorb, even a tiny bit of your abundant courage & strength & hold it close enough, that I might just be a little more like you... the one you branded, "Misfit"... Idk?...Everything I heard resonated inside my ears as "Perfect Fit." Thank you for sharing your life & your story. I'm so honored to have heard it.

[@allansomething]

The last line was heartfelt.

[@chrissycat7883]

Best Ted Talk EVER!!

[@raymondreddington6317]

Thank you very much, i couldn't hold my tears during listening since i saw myself in you and i hope to get my dream as you did it very well. it was very impressive and poignant to people whom always consider themselves misfits just like me. i watched this talk ted twofold, and find that i'm good and still have power to do what others couldn't. It is used to say that may a little word changes your wholly world and that is brought about today. I hope i will reach the highest point in my firmament and for all of you as well. THANK YOU

[@sharonkinsella7435]

What a beautiful, compassionate soul.

[@farihamohamedhilmy4700]

“Even at the moment of your failure right then you are beautiful. You don’t know it yet but you have the ability to reinvent yourself ENDLESSLY!” That’s my favourite line. It’s like Ms Lidia telling me as if she was like my mom. I love her Ted talk so much. She saved me ❤️‍🩹

[@innazhurav9622]

I can`t believe that she could bear out so much grief in her life. I wish her to be happy. Nice woman. Cool talk!

[@corgonzaga327]

Pure honesty.. a story which a lot of of us endure.. we are our own story, and not by how people see and judge us.. 😢

[@WonderMagician]

Dear Lidia, thank you for sharing your unabashed journey with a kind and self accepting heart.

[@veronikamachova7426]

I love her clothes... I wish I had more courage to wear it by myself...

[@thatrunningirl]

Deeply touching - from a fellow writer (Copywriter & Poet) and lifelong misfit

[@anjiephatcat]

Loved it! Spoke to my heart. I could feel that stone when she spoke.

[@mistyseptember3553]

Wow you! Not only am I impressed with your style of verbal communications within dezcriptions and comparisons, but I am proud of your journey which inspires a part of us all.

[@user-kl9ye4ix8y]

what a wise, brave, beautiful woman

[@thomascrane1776]

Thankyou Lidia you inspire me to continue. Thankyou

[@zariahnongrata2257]

This actually kinda made me cry alittle at the end... Good talk

[@Beatness121]

Seen a lot of ted talks, this is the first one that made me cry

[@ImpowerYou]

Thank you. This what I needed to hear this morning before work. I am definitely a misfit.

[@MzKitka]

So few people tell you you're good where you are when you really are. Most tell you you have to get better bc you don't act like they expect.

[@chiikamm2983]

What a beautiful, strong, and inspiring woman! This got me crying. Thank you!

[@ProSto7343]

People who are different change the world, people who are the same simply keep it that way!

[@cinderelladreams6688]

i cried ..your words touched my heart