How to talk to the worst parts of yourself | Karen Faith | TEDxKC

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TEDx Talks

Жыл бұрын

NOTE FROM TED: This talk contains a discussion of suicidal ideation. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please consult a mental health professional and/or support organization, as this talk is not a substitute for mental health advice.
People researcher and empathy trainer Karen Faith found it easier to welcome strangers than the strange parts of herself, until a breakthrough moment changed that for good. In this honest and funny talk, she shares the story for everyone who struggles with self-acceptance. Karen Faith is an ethnographer and strategist whose work has guided teams and initiatives at Google, Amazon, Indeed, The NBA, The ACLU, Blue Cross Blue Shield, The Federal Reserve Bank, and The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, among many others.
An alumnus of the Hyper Island Business Transformation course in Stockholm, Sweden, she has taught her approach to students at Penn State, Juilliard, KU, Chapman University, and the National University of Singapore. She lives in New York, where she is the CEO and Founder of Others Unlimited, an empathy training company. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 1 200
@zan6585
@zan6585 Жыл бұрын
“I will listen to you, but I will not obey you.” That really made me cry.
@abby999
@abby999 Жыл бұрын
me too🥲♥️
@orianareta991
@orianareta991 Жыл бұрын
came to comment the same thing
@treeya20
@treeya20 Жыл бұрын
me too, my mind kept whining why i wouldn't obey 'me', but other mind knew for sure why i couldn't.
@delife_bkk
@delife_bkk Жыл бұрын
Trillionsssss of words could not make 4legs get the TRUTH. Before teaching others what to talk, please STOP to thinking and looking yourselves, your people, societies first. If you see the TRUTH, you would close your month and the whole country.
@pujasaha8507
@pujasaha8507 10 ай бұрын
Best part of this talk🫂
@Mupeta.
@Mupeta. Жыл бұрын
This felt like stand up comedy, therapy and a poetry session all in one. Beautiful.
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
🙏
@AntoniaSongbird
@AntoniaSongbird 11 минут бұрын
Well said!
@KEllis-lu2wp
@KEllis-lu2wp Жыл бұрын
"Love is what happens when we STOP trying to figure out who deserves it." - Karen Faith (wow! I love this quote!)
@Gabolu_21
@Gabolu_21 Жыл бұрын
Me too! Gave me chills!
@VintageVigilante
@VintageVigilante Жыл бұрын
Bit of an 'oof' moment for me 😅
@karenninascott
@karenninascott Жыл бұрын
Me too! Very notable.
@hindyjordan118
@hindyjordan118 Жыл бұрын
@dodgersfanextreme
@dodgersfanextreme Жыл бұрын
me too
@Chrussell1215
@Chrussell1215 Жыл бұрын
Her talk reminded me of a Rumi poem. “This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
Yes, exactly this. Thank you, Chris.
@Kala123467
@Kala123467 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing this; it gives an added level of meaning to the talk.
@ericvannielsen
@ericvannielsen Жыл бұрын
I was at a gallery opening this past week and the band that was playing music during the event read this poem in the middle of their set. Strange to run into it twice in one week. Thank you for posting it.
@catsozen
@catsozen Жыл бұрын
This is perfect. Wow.
@philosopher2king
@philosopher2king Жыл бұрын
I thought the same thing! I had a copy of that poem on my desk at work for years.
@mfaani
@mfaani Жыл бұрын
Best note: "We've been told love is hard. It's not. Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it. It's right there.. and we welcome someone, anyone exactly as they are in the moment."
@Jeff-S-Grimes
@Jeff-S-Grimes Жыл бұрын
agree, that is quite note worthy to say the least
@user-hf5ct5tn2c
@user-hf5ct5tn2c 6 ай бұрын
Yes, but we don't try and change them if we don't agree with how they live their lives
@esds
@esds 16 күн бұрын
Yes that's life changing.
@moka91808
@moka91808 Жыл бұрын
The technique Karen is talking about is called Internal Family Systems (IFS). I had a therapist use this to help me and it did wonders. You can also use it yourself. It works if you can ask yourself questions in a self-compassionate way. It does feel like you are crazy when another voice (which is yours) speaks back, but parts of us have been stuck in traumatic moments.
@jenniferbates2811
@jenniferbates2811 Жыл бұрын
YES!!! Such an incredible therapy! The best book on this kind of therapy is called: "No Bad Parts" By. Dr. Richard C. Schwartz.
@christinaandriani6087
@christinaandriani6087 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much!
@crystalcole888
@crystalcole888 Жыл бұрын
I came to the comment section to say this. Internal family systems made my life so much better. This is the future of psychotherapy, of all therapy. So few people know about it right now.
@michelebechard1523
@michelebechard1523 Жыл бұрын
Came here to say this.
@yukikowu5695
@yukikowu5695 Жыл бұрын
I had never head of IFS but it makes sense and I need to practice it.
@yukikowu5695
@yukikowu5695 Жыл бұрын
I’m a TED Talk addict and have listened to hundreds of them - and this one is one of the most compelling AND practically useful.
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
Thank you, Yukiko!
@Joey-ye
@Joey-ye 9 ай бұрын
this is my first time to watch TED talk,I think this one is great
@koreakim693
@koreakim693 29 күн бұрын
Totally agree
@amandapatino1352
@amandapatino1352 Жыл бұрын
"Everyone that you show unconditional welcome may show you a part of yourself to love"
@amandapatino1352
@amandapatino1352 Жыл бұрын
"I love you, thank you for helping me see what you see"
@juliasteinweh-adler5288
@juliasteinweh-adler5288 17 күн бұрын
So her name is basically CARE AND FAITH…. THAT IS SO APPROPRIATE
@Mafyeux
@Mafyeux 6 күн бұрын
That's actually perfect, she has angel presence. Her knowing and intention is purely angelic, simple as that. As a human being, she'd say 'I'm no angel!', but trust me, this is a real one guys.
@rhythmindset6996
@rhythmindset6996 2 күн бұрын
Had a friend a long time ago named Chris Chin. This was before finding Christ and becoming a believer. Funny looking back on it now. Signs are usually all around us but in a very subtle way.
@abi1021
@abi1021 22 сағат бұрын
@@rhythmindset6996No lol
@Winved
@Winved Жыл бұрын
So strange how, sometimes, you stumble upon exactly what you need in that moment. Thank you.
@DavidAnderson-gp6gi
@DavidAnderson-gp6gi Жыл бұрын
The Universe has an uncanny knack for that😀
@Mardoux-yu6iu
@Mardoux-yu6iu 5 ай бұрын
If you can't love yourself ,start by loving others , actually that way you respect yourself and it is loving yourself too
@vickierichter7850
@vickierichter7850 Жыл бұрын
I’m sitting here crying. I’ve prayed for months for God to help me better myself. All myselves. The signs He has given me just the past few days are overwhelming but I’m welcoming them all! Your talk is awesome THANK YOU
@HopeWins777
@HopeWins777 Жыл бұрын
You are not, you are never, alone.♥️ That's why we need each other so very desperately. Otherwise, we forget. 💪 Be strong, and very courageous. Be kind to yourself first.🦋
@dianejones4276
@dianejones4276 Жыл бұрын
I am alone. God please come to me. Is it possible that my mental illnesses are too overwhelming to get past to receive the messages?
@prodigaldaughter2242
@prodigaldaughter2242 Жыл бұрын
Ditto! I almost didn't listen because of the pain I knew it would expose. SHE told my story better than I think I could have.
@thetp816
@thetp816 Жыл бұрын
@@dianejones4276 be careful because hoping for a savior that may never come can be even more detrimental. Try to think ligically
@missamericausa
@missamericausa Жыл бұрын
✝️
@margaretpaul5888
@margaretpaul5888 Жыл бұрын
“Love is what happens when you stop trying to figure out who deserves it.” I’m now inspired to practice growing my “sphere of unconditional welcome”. 💗
@dankozubal
@dankozubal Жыл бұрын
The quote's brilliance is in its simplicity. I'm really interested in this practice!
@6582rg
@6582rg Жыл бұрын
@@dankozubal hmmmmm
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
@@dankozubal Thank you, Dan. It is super simple, and super useful. :)
@marypolancodesigns
@marypolancodesigns Жыл бұрын
This quote hit me so hard! YES
@aabracadavra
@aabracadavra Жыл бұрын
She is phenomenal. A force of nature. I didn't even realize I had tears running down my face for a moment, that's how deeply she reaches. She bypasses the conscious mind and ego and speaks directly to your subconscious, the truth. I wish that everyone had at least a fraction of her wisdom and intelligence. We would be a thriving, evolved global society in no time.
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
What a compliment! Thank you. 🙏
@4465Vman
@4465Vman Жыл бұрын
@@KarenFaith have you studied IFS??is this from IFS?? you are amazingly intelligent
@b0xf0x13
@b0xf0x13 Жыл бұрын
I'm performing a scientific experiment: how many times do I have to watch this video in order to burn its wisdom into my brain so that I can recall it in times of stress. Luckily, there is no end of stress with which I can test my hypothesis. :)
@jonr6680
@jonr6680 Жыл бұрын
Top human. Scarily confident, funny, intelligent, professional speaker, beautiful voice, flawless diction and an actor's range of tonality and so incredibly expressive... Perfect live delivery from memory or ad-libbed?? AND with a vital compassionate humanist message and a bunch of cool insights on the way.
@lmp9726
@lmp9726 Жыл бұрын
A tiny bit of vocal fry. Otherwise, excellent.
@emilymartin5418
@emilymartin5418 Жыл бұрын
@@lmp9726 Get over yourself and stop searching so hard for superiority.
@Freetheebees
@Freetheebees Жыл бұрын
@@lmp9726 just say you’re miserable and have to see the bad in people.
@abby999
@abby999 Жыл бұрын
@@Freetheebeesand yet they're welcome anyway
@Chris_P.Bacon0
@Chris_P.Bacon0 28 күн бұрын
​@@abby999 😂😂😂 dude's gotta open his sphere of unconditional love
@ngejarapasih6694
@ngejarapasih6694 Жыл бұрын
"can you just.. welcome them here" "can you welcome you" I love the way she says it
@elizabethg952
@elizabethg952 Жыл бұрын
Came to a lot of these realizations as a tattoo artist. We have to sit with people we don't agree with for hours sometimes. It's our job to make something beautiful for them.
@jeannies5068
@jeannies5068 Ай бұрын
"Love is a house you can crawl in through a window" this is so poetic
@cassiemcneil
@cassiemcneil 8 ай бұрын
WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU HELP ME IN LESS THAN 15 MINUTES? 😂❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@laceyconrad7859
@laceyconrad7859 Жыл бұрын
Easily one of the best TED Talks I’ve ever watched. Awesome message and compelling speaker.
@JoSheeply
@JoSheeply Жыл бұрын
Even her name fits well.
@MorgALew3
@MorgALew3 Жыл бұрын
@@JoSheeply 😅
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
@@JoSheeply :)
@percyb8268
@percyb8268 Жыл бұрын
I’m just so blessed that every time I hit a wall, the universe sends me a lifeline. And this talk was it this time around.
@brianmillerspeaks
@brianmillerspeaks Жыл бұрын
Absolutely extraordinary. This is a masterclass in delivering a TED-style talk, how to use humor without stepping on the message, AND on the deeply misunderstood and under-appreciated skill of perspective-taking. What a gift to us working in the field of human connection. Thank you, Karen!
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
Thank you, Brian! I just watched yours and loved it.
@brianmillerspeaks
@brianmillerspeaks Жыл бұрын
@@KarenFaith Thank you! Feel free to connect elsewhere on the socials. I’m easy to find :)
@iananono9083
@iananono9083 Жыл бұрын
@@KarenFaith Thank you for the shining example of authenticity, courage, humility, empathy/love, humor, more! I had flashbacks of John Bradshaw, who 31 years ago opened me up to inner-child work. I will look up more of your work, both personal and general focus-group moderation. Watched this 3x already, and will keep enjoying it. Brilliant & beautiful. Thanks again.
@lionofistanmusic7311
@lionofistanmusic7311 Жыл бұрын
Wow, definitely made me cry. That moment when you realize that we all have parts, and some of them just need a hug, like how you would hug a little kid. I believe she is talking about Internal Family Systems.
@4465Vman
@4465Vman Жыл бұрын
yes i think so too
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
The ideas that I'm discussing are very similar to those in IFS, but my practice doesn't happen to come from there. The concept of multiplicity of self is OLD and unattached to psychiatry (Rumi, Walt Whitman, and the apostle Paul knew ages ago). The main idea I am sharing is Unconditional Welcome. It is an approach to engagement with the self and others which begins with full awareness and acceptance of the moment. And I didn't invent that, either. :) I do appreciate all the commenters who recognize IFS and other philosophies here. It has been my experience that when something rings true, it can be found everywhere.
@posionedwill1102
@posionedwill1102 Жыл бұрын
This actually made me feel so much relief. "The round table" of inner selves is exactly how I describe how I found the strength to rebuild myself and function again after falling into a sever depression when my partner passed I slept nearly all day but my mind was my inner selves sitting in a circle in a dark room bringing everything to light and talking through everything. To hear I'm not just crazy for how I did it and that others do too is such a comfort .
@CheRob96
@CheRob96 Жыл бұрын
♥️
@nadiaaclaraa
@nadiaaclaraa Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing this. Sending you lots of love! ❤
@camilllejozwiak9841
@camilllejozwiak9841 Жыл бұрын
Seeing myself as a prism instead of a broken mirror is wonderful
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
Yes! I found it so helpful, too! 🌈🌈
@michelebechard1523
@michelebechard1523 Жыл бұрын
I'm a therapist. This is WONDERFUL. Brilliant.
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
Thank you, Michele. 🤍
@esds
@esds 16 күн бұрын
I am so grateful for therapist. Thank for doing what you do
@aliharajli4832
@aliharajli4832 Жыл бұрын
I've had so many issues working on this, i feel like i did get better at dealing with it but still it's very hard at times. Consider the fact that 1 year ago i was jobless, depressed, out of shape, heavy smoker and out of options in life as a 25yro, and at that time i was extremely rough with myself, i used to genuinely hate myself, and hate is a strong word. Then i took a leap of faith and traveled to another country, i had to stop being so toxic with myself, psychologically and physically, it started with what i eat, i started to eat more healthy, stopped smoking... 6 months free of it! I started working out as well and learning the language of said country. It's been such a wild ride, and despite the fact that i consider myself to have made such a good change in my life i can't but be harsh at myself at times, but i know why, some of these reasons are true in my opinion and some are just delusions that i created over the years. I really plan on working on this and just free myself of the chains that i created.
@CHRISTALMOUNTAIN
@CHRISTALMOUNTAIN Жыл бұрын
You’re perfect ❤
@caro8712
@caro8712 Жыл бұрын
You’re brave, please don’t give up on your journey.
@lumijasminasmr3583
@lumijasminasmr3583 Жыл бұрын
@@CHRISTALMOUNTAIN No one is perfect. No one. We don’t need to become narcissistic about ourselves inorder to have mercy on our imperfect parts.
@kristinaseitaj5699
@kristinaseitaj5699 Жыл бұрын
❤️🙏
@mohammadabnaz1159
@mohammadabnaz1159 Жыл бұрын
"Only reality is the moment , everything else is thoughts . What's in front of you , where you are , what you see with your eyes is real and that's reality . Rest everything is your thoughts " My mentor told me this and this thought helped me , maybe help you as well , try thinking that way .
@phyliciafaison212
@phyliciafaison212 Жыл бұрын
I love knowing I am not the only one with a roundtable. The last few years have felt all of the things she mentioned. Her daily commute sounds like the last 6 yrs of my life. There's no worst feeling to me than being trapped in your own mind and know no one can get you out except you. I hope she knows how powerful this was for me!
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
Thank you, Phylicia. You are certainly not the only one. :)
@kristinahuddleston4051
@kristinahuddleston4051 Жыл бұрын
Psychodynamic psychology refers to this as the "committee in your head." I often ask my clients to identify who they have on their committee in their head, and if they want those voices (often from childhood trauma) to continue with a seat on the committee. What a well done talk, thank you!
@alongcoh
@alongcoh 26 күн бұрын
I watched this multiple times to make sure all my inner selves saw it. ❤️
@heyitsshuby
@heyitsshuby Жыл бұрын
"Love happens when we stop deciding who deserves it" - Karen Faith
@ananya_soni_
@ananya_soni_ Жыл бұрын
How strange it is that I find it on a time when I needed all these answers in maybe exactly the way you addressed it. It is a very beautiful way. And I’m too going to give all my selves unconditional positive regard and I know it will work out❤
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
I'm so glad it was helpful to you, Ananya.
@quietowl1246
@quietowl1246 Жыл бұрын
Manifesting!
@LoveHandle4890
@LoveHandle4890 Жыл бұрын
Our depression speaks for us, far more than anything we can ever say at times.
@SweetSeraph93
@SweetSeraph93 Жыл бұрын
Loud voice 🌹💞
@StefanPagacik
@StefanPagacik Жыл бұрын
This was absolutely brilliant. Karen captured what I have been struggling with my entire life. It was no accident that I stumbled upon this video I saw needed to see this. Thank you so much Karen from the bottom of my heart.
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
You are very welcome, Stefan. Thanks for saying so. :)
@DavidAnderson-gp6gi
@DavidAnderson-gp6gi Жыл бұрын
I’ve just recently learned there are no such things as accidents. Everything happens for a definitive reason. We have all found this Ted Talk for a reason…eventually, that reason will come to us. Enjoy the journey😀
@Ziccle.
@Ziccle. Жыл бұрын
I am not looking for any kind of trouble. But she is the Karen that everyone needs to talk about ☠️💕
@prodigaldaughter2242
@prodigaldaughter2242 Жыл бұрын
This talk was uploaded 57 minutes ago... I just prayed about my struggle with self-love and acceptance....Never expected the answer to my prayer about learning to love and accept myself, would come through a Ted Talk on KZbin. All I can do is cry and thank HIM for answering another prayer. ❤‍🩹
@CHRISTALMOUNTAIN
@CHRISTALMOUNTAIN Жыл бұрын
Start eating healthy
@fritz1624
@fritz1624 Жыл бұрын
nah, all it shows is that the microchips are working
@tylerfrost4110
@tylerfrost4110 Жыл бұрын
Maybe thank the human being, the one on this stage giving the speech, not your imaginary friend.
@miketkong2
@miketkong2 Жыл бұрын
Speaking of micro cues, the way she says, "Horrible" at 14:05 sounded to me like despair, terror, love, betrayal, and sadness all smooshed into a single word's time-couldn't have been more than 3/4 of a second in an otherwise positive and hopeful string of words and ideas. It got me. When I heard that, it was like a knife went through my chest and poked my heart-took my breath away for a second and made my eyes well up. Maybe because I know all to well what she's talking about. Maybe because, for the moment she said that, I felt for a split second that I wasn't alone. One thing's for sure, our thoughts and emotions and the way our minds work and everything about us works to make us who we are and how we experience and interpret what's going on is extremely complex. I think she's right. We should give ourselves more credit, be kinder to ourselves. So I hope you reading this right now, if you know what I'm talking about, I hope you can know too that you're not alone. I want to take this moment, in my own multi-faceted sometimes good and bad and perfectly flawed self, to extend my love to you in your multi-faceted sometimes good and bad and perfectly flawed self. We're not alone, you and I. And we can learn to live and love ourselves. It's gonna get better. It's gonna be alright. 🙏❤
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
Thanks, Mike. What you felt was exactly what I meant. 🤍
@halosandheroes
@halosandheroes 10 ай бұрын
Im the joking dad and retired Marine combined. Just so you know Ms. Faith, im in rehab and have now incorporated your self-moderation into my daily mantra, as well as the "thank you for your input,remember our agreement"
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith 10 ай бұрын
🙏
@christinemaeg.vargas5146
@christinemaeg.vargas5146 23 күн бұрын
It's in this point of time that I realize it's normal to have a conflicting feelings. That I don't have to repeatedly justify myself why I still remain kind to other given they've hurted me badly.
@codykidd2523
@codykidd2523 Жыл бұрын
I'm always in my head. This was so relatable. I literally had tears in my eyes the entire time and it wasn't even sad. Lol
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
🤍
@codykidd2523
@codykidd2523 Жыл бұрын
@@KarenFaith I've tried to understand and accept everyone my entire life. I was on drugs for close to ten years and I've been sober for a little over 2 years now but the voices in my head get a little crazy now. The fact that all I need to do is welcome people instead of trying to understand them is really comforting. I'll start trying to apply this each day as I work on positive growth. Thank you so much...more than you know.
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
@@codykidd2523 What you are doing for yourself is the best possible thing. That's awesome. I wish you all the best!
@codykidd2523
@codykidd2523 Жыл бұрын
@@KarenFaith Thank you!
@jxunmtchd
@jxunmtchd Жыл бұрын
I 100% agree. I've never felt so seen.
@Lydia-vg8pw
@Lydia-vg8pw Жыл бұрын
This was the best TEDtalk I’ve heard in a while. What a beautiful, meaningful conversation about honoring OURSELVES in every aspect. Even the bright, luminous moon in the night sky has its dark sides… though by no means does it detract from the light it projects onto the whole world
@Goku-db2gt
@Goku-db2gt Жыл бұрын
Her voice is healing, and she really released the "me" who felt shaky with her voice omg 😂
@starstrykr2021
@starstrykr2021 Жыл бұрын
“I promise I am going to take care of you, but I need you to get on board. I will listen to you but I will NOT obey you.” Going through a rough breakup now and really needed to hear this. My inner-child is in disbelief of the trauma and keeps screaming and crying out for something (but, like a child, doesn’t know what it needs). I just have to hold him, hear him out, and promise it’s going to be okay- but being toxic to ourselves or others won’t resolve anything.
@nehakolekar3134
@nehakolekar3134 Жыл бұрын
Hey, how r u doing????
@faithfulwife
@faithfulwife Жыл бұрын
Going through the same thing.
@nehakolekar3134
@nehakolekar3134 Жыл бұрын
Everything will be alright.... ❤
@brb5506
@brb5506 Жыл бұрын
"Love happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it." Profound.
@proseekadhakal2033
@proseekadhakal2033 Ай бұрын
Wow! It's like she is speaking my mind, my heart and my soul. Never have I ever heard anyone describe anything so accurately it's like she is describing me but the beauty is she is describing all of us. Reminds me how we're all the same and all connected in this vast universe. Beautiful 😍✨😍🥹🥺😢
@mayraruelas63
@mayraruelas63 Жыл бұрын
“Love is what happens when we Stop trying to figure out who deserves it” ❤
@marcela7197
@marcela7197 Жыл бұрын
It took youtube two months of recommending this to me every single day, but I hesitated. Until today. Thank you, Karen, I needed this.
@lisabeaucher5878
@lisabeaucher5878 20 күн бұрын
I've watched a lot of TED Talks. Sooo many. Hoping to find what I can't put into words. This was, by far, the best TED I've ever heard. It encapsulated what I'm going through while trying to remember to not hate myself and give up. Yes, I have those voices and days, too. Like yourself, I have tools to navigate my fears and traumas, but sometimes, ...often in fact, I forget. Or sometimes the voices are too loud. Today I'm good. Thank you for reminding me to gently talk back. Too check in and to love myself always. ❤🙏🤗
@esds
@esds 16 күн бұрын
Love doesn't care which way you come or what state you are in when you get there. I have no words. Absolutely incredibly brilliant, life changing
@SolariaCreations
@SolariaCreations Жыл бұрын
What a beautiful way to share how our emotional traumas reveal themselves to be our greatest gift to humanity! ❤
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
It is an amazing mystery. :)
@user-tg9ri9vm6u
@user-tg9ri9vm6u Ай бұрын
The mind is hard to understand, the human mind is so complex, thanks for the message 😊
@julietteorejel4255
@julietteorejel4255 Күн бұрын
“I think of my fragmented self less like a broken mirror and more like a prism” beautifully said
@AnntoniettaB
@AnntoniettaB 23 күн бұрын
Ive almost always tried to be welcoming and considerate to every type of person or animal. But its always been hard to welcome my own negative thoughts. It's eye opening to see it as the same thing. As an artist it really helps to visualize it as a group of individual inputs! Thank you for that perspective!
@barbararowlett6828
@barbararowlett6828 Жыл бұрын
I have done so much to "heal" and looked and looked for something that even scratches the surface. THIS has really, really helped. Thank you 💓
@Tattt9999
@Tattt9999 Жыл бұрын
This is one of the best Ted talks I’ve heard in my entire life. What a great speaker! She made me feel so good about me and my parts! Good reminder for me to not be rough on myself and start seeing what différents part of me are telling me and accept them as they are! ❤ that’s how the path to accepting and unconditionally loving yourself starts. Thank you
@00BChill
@00BChill Жыл бұрын
10:57 thank you for sharing 11:00 I'm going to remind you of our agreement 11:02 to be honest and reasonable
@khemanig2
@khemanig2 Жыл бұрын
Haven't seen a Ted this great in a while.
@TimEasterling
@TimEasterling Жыл бұрын
"Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it." So powerful.
@SuleGenc-sy2zm
@SuleGenc-sy2zm Жыл бұрын
I came across this video just at the right time and it literally changed my life. She did something that most therapist have difficulty in doing in just 15 minutes. An eye-opening, inspirational talk. Thank you Karen!
@itsjustme7212
@itsjustme7212 10 ай бұрын
SAME.
@EddyV101
@EddyV101 22 күн бұрын
This exact time last week I found myself having this talk. I gave into it, not expecting to wake up in the morning. I woke up started my week as usual but something different happened. I got back to work on the things I enjoy ,and I progressed much faster because all of me has been engaged to the process. I think it’s crazy that no matter how hard I push I can always push harder.
@snakewomangirl
@snakewomangirl 22 күн бұрын
I was taught how to work with inner parts by an amazing therapist. I still have a meeting everyday with my parts & it is amazing how much wisdom they have if I only listen. CPTSD is part of my life’s journey along with the hyper vigilance which is tiring as parts are on guard for any changes in others that would signify danger. Our parts always have our back, but some of them are young and need help to devise other strategies to deal with overwhelming feelings of shame, anger and fear. This talk was so affirming. Thank you so much. It has normalised my daily practice and lived experience. The one thing that is good is that I’m never alone, there are 26 parts inside me and being with others can often be too much on top of all the voices inside. I often create voice recordings when my parts are particularly vocal, others just think I’m talking to a friend.
@juicyduman
@juicyduman 9 ай бұрын
Karens usually call the manager to complain but YOU KAREN TOUCHED MY HEART AND I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS. Sending you so much love for sharing and being yourself
@geeez8264
@geeez8264 8 ай бұрын
I love this talk so much, after being exhausted of just giving away too much love for other people, I became dismissive of their emotions, trying to protect my peace, but the happiness and love I feel disappeared, asking where it went.. turns out it's because I stopped caring, the joy of helping someone out even in the smallest things were gone. The talk gave me comfort, Just welcome everyone unconditionally and not look for specific people to love, everyone deserves to be loved. Thanks for the comfort and security ❤️
@adelesuda3329
@adelesuda3329 Жыл бұрын
Oh my!!! You just described me perfectly!!! I have never been able to understand my CPSTD and all the voices that tell me who I am and am not...thank you for speaking my language...I hope one day I feel welcome to welcome me...
@sepulvedart
@sepulvedart Жыл бұрын
If you want to read or know more about this topic it is called Internal Family Systems. Developed in the 1980s by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz. Good presentation. Thank you for sharing your experience!
@amystanleygracestudios-pil2322
@amystanleygracestudios-pil2322 Жыл бұрын
I was hoping someone would acknowledge this. I just finished the book “No Bad Parts,” and it has been life-changing!
@miteshladani4040
@miteshladani4040 Жыл бұрын
Love is in the air, love yourself and others too
@GlossyHop
@GlossyHop Жыл бұрын
Beautiful and I’m grateful to have found this.
@caratappenden4696
@caratappenden4696 23 күн бұрын
The moderator she talks about is the Self energy that we talk about in IFS. Powerful realisation for transformation and integration ❤
@danielraypickrel4316
@danielraypickrel4316 27 күн бұрын
This morning my new experience was imagining that my long breathes of exhale were filling a bubble of calm.
@JenniferKastelic
@JenniferKastelic Жыл бұрын
@ 12:09 "see myself less as a fragmented mirror and more like a prism".... or maybe a kaleidoscope scope.
@mbeans.
@mbeans. 25 күн бұрын
Setting boundaries with yourself is one of the hardest things to do And I think I need to remind myself of this, constantly
@lorahopper5171
@lorahopper5171 28 күн бұрын
Wonderful. Vulnerable and real. So grateful for her voice.
@jenss1933
@jenss1933 Жыл бұрын
Your speech was very powerful, genuine and full of heart. Thank you.
@taylor1013x
@taylor1013x Жыл бұрын
I lost my mother whom I was extraordinarily close with to suicide in 2018, although sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday still. I cannot begin to explain how much I identified with the things spoken in this video, they were words my soul needed to hear. I struggle with “beating myself up” a lot mentally. “She told me that we were never going to get better, and she wanted out of here. I asked her what I could do, she only told me she wanted to die, over and over and over”. Here’s to getting better.
@babymermaid83
@babymermaid83 Жыл бұрын
As a mother, I know all your mum would want is for you to live a long & happy life. That’s all I want for my kids & all my mum ever wanted for me 🙏💕
@Noleggeisha
@Noleggeisha 26 күн бұрын
What a funny, delightful, gorgeous and brilliant pers… talk, I mean talk. Great talk, Karen.
@sparkpaul
@sparkpaul 22 күн бұрын
Thank you for helping me and accepting myself and my marriage!
@markwalker5243
@markwalker5243 Жыл бұрын
I really needed to hear this right now. Lots of me's are arguing with each other right now.
@cammpaje
@cammpaje Жыл бұрын
Accepting and not arguing with oneself. Listening and understanding should be a priority
@janrobertjust2661
@janrobertjust2661 22 күн бұрын
Really , really beautiful. Thanks for sharing your experience with so much love, clarity, and humor ❤️
@aseahzn
@aseahzn Жыл бұрын
This is perhaps one of the funniest but also heartwarming TED Talk I've ever watch. Thank you very much for your sharing and I truly enjoy it!
@sijalshrestha605
@sijalshrestha605 Жыл бұрын
She was the One speaking but We felt heard. 🙏🏼
@Sistadelphia
@Sistadelphia Жыл бұрын
So funny cause I literally have meetings with all my selves!
@imvedik
@imvedik 25 күн бұрын
I thought only I was weird now I have another person with me. It was a insightful Talk Thanks!
@itsjustme7212
@itsjustme7212 10 ай бұрын
The most moving Ted Talk I’ve ever watched 🙏🏽
@forrest9881
@forrest9881 23 күн бұрын
“Can you welcome you here?”
@marialeticiagoulart6332
@marialeticiagoulart6332 Жыл бұрын
Wow! That’s one of the best Teds ever. Your definition of love X deserve… that’s what changed my mind one year ago, and them I started a true love relationship with my boyfriend!
@kristyncozad1781
@kristyncozad1781 Жыл бұрын
The best, TEDTalk I’ve seen in a very long time!
@RichardDawson-sz4bz
@RichardDawson-sz4bz Жыл бұрын
Using the focus group to reimagine the self is a stroke of genius. We can imagine the moderator as a central self among our many selves, helping each of us to move towards a harmony of some kind. Wow! Thank you to the many people that constitute Karen Faith...
@Cliohna
@Cliohna Жыл бұрын
It's actually not a new new idea. The focus group maybe, but not the 'different personalities within you'. Friedemann Schulz von Thun is a German psychologist and expert in interpersonal communication and intrapersonal communication. He called his model 'the inner team'. And his work is based on Margaret Paul and Erika J. Chopich which are two American psychologists.
@jessicawoan
@jessicawoan Жыл бұрын
Schwartz’ Internal Family Systems practice in a wonderfully clear dialogue
@peterscheer445
@peterscheer445 2 ай бұрын
exactly... I have shown this to patients on a psych unit to get this concept across without teaching it formally... its a lovely introduction to IFS in simple and relatable language
@coreyroberts47
@coreyroberts47 Жыл бұрын
Man I had a part that incessantly wanted to die. Been working on internal family systems for a bit. Literally life changing
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
Hang in there, friend. 🤍
@SK-ps5pn
@SK-ps5pn Жыл бұрын
This is exactly that, Karen gave everyone an incredibly honest, loving and compassionate glimpse of IFS and how all of our parts work. Corey if you are more interested in watching about IFS, look up Dr. Tori Olds here on KZbin. Amazing communicator and purveyor of IFS concept.
@researchclue2020
@researchclue2020 2 ай бұрын
This made me cry…thank you for sharing this…
@x37u7
@x37u7 Жыл бұрын
Loving someone in my life is really hard, but once without thinking I sat next to that person and was surprised I actually did that and didn't care if it was them or some other person. Love really is universal.
@thefamous360
@thefamous360 Жыл бұрын
One of the best TED talks I watched. Probably because I am struggling with this, like who do I believe? What is real and what is not that’s why I was never able to trust myself. I will try this and hopefully I will be able to learn more about myself.
@KarenFaith
@KarenFaith Жыл бұрын
Best wishes in getting to know more of you! :)
@Ntk2031
@Ntk2031 Жыл бұрын
Yes! Exactly!!!
@Delaney205
@Delaney205 Жыл бұрын
One of the best Ted talks I’ve ever listened too. Wonderful presentation
@rideoutpoppy8252
@rideoutpoppy8252 24 күн бұрын
This is one that im carrying with me for a lifetime. Thank you
@tj-nu7iu
@tj-nu7iu 2 ай бұрын
I find TEDx talks are almost always better than than TED talks. I loved this talk! Thank you Karen(s) 😊
@Hummibird05
@Hummibird05 Жыл бұрын
Great message “Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it.” And it’s true that all parts of you deserve to be heard!
@notagain3732
@notagain3732 Жыл бұрын
This stimulated my mind in a good way that is both intense and rare as i did zone out while watching recalling events with friends or even other videos i have seen ... The talks topic is so relatable i felt like i can see myself from a new perspective . Thank you for sharing these ideas in a ted talk and i wish you all the best
@rosamrc923
@rosamrc923 3 ай бұрын
One of the BEST Tedtalks I've listened in years. Simple, poignant, solution driven. Karen Faith: THANK YOU! Simply BEAUTIFUL in its simplicity and profound for its resolution.
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