The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month (June)

The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month (June)
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[@mechengr1731]

That one person has no idea the empowering feeling of a dress with pockets. The 9 year old knows what's up

[@icarusbinns3156]

Store I worked at: Remember, it’s dress weekend! Wear a dress for work! Me, wearing my Deadpool dress and knee-high Goth-emo boots Coworker: Wow, you forgot a belt Me, clips the walkie to my boot (I’m really short) and shoves the coupons in my pockets, walks out to make sales. Other coworkers: OMG!! Their dress has pockets!!!

[@pinkmagicali]

Agreed. I have a summer dress with pockets and I always feel so excited to put stuff in them.

[@mostannoyingscaramain]

BRO I GOT ONE ONLINE THE OTHER DAY I LOVE IT

[@quantumcollapse1792]

Pajama pants with pockets are life too 😂

[@valkyrie506]

YESSSS

[@marilynroberts6644]

I agree, kids should be required to give us a 30 day notice before changing favorite Disney characters.. Same should hold true for colors, foods, movies, clothes...!

[@soupsgord]

And ESPECIALLY before birthdays or christmas! How many of us have bought character-themed toys only to have our kids tell us they’re no longer interested in said character???😭

[@Kitsune1989]

@@soupsgord or when they inform you that this thing they were sooooo interested in a few weeks ago is now too childish for them. Of course it's childish! You're a child!

[@icarusbinns3156]

Gods help the parents that mix the favorites together. Somehow, Mom managed to mix a stegosaurus, t-rex, triceratops, and pterodactyl together to make a dino cake. On the plus side, it tasted good and was sugar-free! (Diabetic challenges in the 90s)

[@carrieannmcleod5219]

OK, for some reason, the tampon story with the 3 adorable boys had me in stitches (I have no children).

[@taylorbritt499]

That one made me snort-laugh. Also have no kids.

[@MrsMrMoney]

That one was my favorite ad well. Coming from a parent that had her 3 year old daughter in the public bathroom stall as I changed a tampon and she screams MOMMY OH NO YOUR BLEEDING. YOU NEED A BIG BANDAID! I could hear the other ladies stifling laughter. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@debrasedgwick4697]

Last year, my daughter's school nurse gave her some tampons to try. (they keep supplies for the kids to use) My daughter used it that day, in the car, to stop a nose bleed. I just looked at her and shook my head. She replied, "well it worked". She was 14. Today, in a restaurant, she told her aunt about it. My sister thought she was joking, I said nope it happened.

[@carrieannmcleod5219]

@@debrasedgwick4697 She is one smart girl and quick. I think she'll be successful when she's grown. :)

[@debrasedgwick4697]

@@carrieannmcleod5219 I think so also, she is always thinking outside of the box. lol

[@icarusbinns3156]

Neighbor’s kid today greets me as I’m collecting mail. Holds up his hand, in s cast, “Look what I did!” Me: What happened? Him: Fractured a finger. Me: How?? Him: Dunno. Three days to a week ago, so I’m not sure. The things a ten-year-old boy gets into

[@dogmatic2553]

I had that too at the age of 13 but I had only sprained a knuckle :)

[@MsWill813]

He, she, swarm of bees. Got it.

[@DeidresStuff]

Well, I mean, that would definitely reinforce the idea of "they/them." Lol

[@idk-just-tea]

@@DeidresStuff NB: Numerous Bees

[@aceoutofit6920]

@@idk-just-tea yoooo that’s genius

[@abigailphoenixthepaperaddi2501]

@@idk-just-tea 😲 Genius. Simply GENIUS.

[@izzieb.2926]

Lol I'm just wondering how old that kid was

[@Kitsune1989]

There's an easy way to get kids to clean their room. Put $5 in an envelope in front of them and tell them you're hiding it in their room. That if they clean their room properly they'll find it. Hide it just often enough to keep them looking for it but not so often that you go broke. If they complain about not being able to find the envelope of money then just tell them that they should have cleaned their room better. Generally works just into their teenager years. Protip from babysitting for everyone. Also, if you know the parents can't get their kids to do something then consider calling it as bonus money for preforming above and beyond.

[@seraphilight]

...I woulda just torn my room up as a kid :D

[@ellicooper2323]

I used to put quarters in places my kids tended to miss in cleaning. Almost went broke in my nice clean apartment.

[@DevilsRadvocate]

Dude my room would have everything knocked over and a lot of stuff on the floor, def not cleaner

[@candaceking1518]

Super sad to see modern-day parenting is about bribing your children to do what you should have taught them to do in the first place. Proper parenting is teaching them this is their responsibility.

[@MissBellaMe]

@@candaceking1518 this! And the idiots who reply with "I would have just torn my room up looking for the money" are the exact reason why this doesn't work. Kids aren't born brats, their parents let them become one.

[@immortalsofar5314]

My ex having been made responsible with numerous pets over the years and is now being told to watch her baby brother: "You wanted it, you take care of it!"

[@priscillamoore5736]

Absolutely LOVE the laughing luggage!! 😅

[@mog-gyveroneill2500]

I'm only grateful they knew the child was in there..

[@priscillamoore5736]

@@mog-gyveroneill2500 - You"re right!! I never thought of that. I guess you can tell I'm not a parent...

[@653j521]

@@priscillamoore5736 Or maybe it was obvious from the picture and story that a) she could be heard, b) it could be wiggled, c) she couldn't lock it from the inside, d) she couldn't zip it airtight from the inside, e) she could be felt when inside, f) she was never in any danger. Even if people ARE parents, they need to get a grip on reality.

[@sunnyscott4876]

Dangerous situation.......needs to be stopped immediately! What is the kid going to hide in next? The trunk of the car without the parents knowing? It's not cute. It's potentially life threatening.

[@TimeSurfer206]

1:30 "Real Men don't get pedicures!!!" Tom Nichols: "Real Men get whatever we damn well please."

[@annebasham1768]

Perfection. They do say that behind the best comedy is a lot of personal pain. This makes parents HILARIOUS.

[@andycontento3563]

Oh. What was that 'thunk'? It was me laughing my head off. 👍👍👍🤣🤣🤣

[@andreiiaz2097]

Timestamp, perhaps?

[@lethalsouffle9827]

3:42 As a non-binary person, I can confirm that this is a very useful way of remembering somebody's pronouns.

[@pipermcqueen2914]

I can too confirm

[@alyshasocie6120]

I confess, I don't understand why that would work. What does bees have to do with pro- nouns?

[@lethalsouffle9827]

@@alyshasocie6120 Ah, it's kind of a joke because people are always saying to non-binary people "Your pronouns are they/them? What are you plural?". So the answer is yes, we are plural because we are a swarm of bees in the shape of a human.

[@alyshasocie6120]

@@lethalsouffle9827 Even though almost all bees are female? Lol. I think I might have a rough understanding of what you're saying though. 🤔

[@lethalsouffle9827]

@@alyshasocie6120 It doesn't matter what gender the bees are...you are talking about all of them. There is more than one bee so they are plural SO that means you use they/them pronouns for them. Does that make sense?

[@veramae4098]

Breakwell, Try this on your kids. "Children make messes. Adults clean them up." Very successful during my time as a classroom teacher, if not overused.

[@Kitsune1989]

Does this mean when I start cleaning up after myself I've evolved into an adult? Because if that's the case I'll go back to being messy. Adulthood has bills. Bills suck. Therefore adulthood sucks... I miss those innocent days when I thought being an adult meant having unlimited money, knowing everything, and that you could eat icecream for dinner whilst playing video games all day.

[@653j521]

Vera Mae Are those kids teens or in elementary school. The elem kids I know would misunderstand and say, "Oh good, then I don't have to do it."

[@DevilsRadvocate]

My mom said this this time me once, I was 12, I think, and I said “well, then I’m a child forever”

[@ellieragsdale4398]

@@653j521 lol that was my first response.

[@komaedakat1583]

If they're old enough to clean up after themselves, I say let them. Don't get mad when they're older and not doing it themselves. You taught them thier whole life that you'll just do it for them. At the very least, be patient, consistent and show them what to do. It's ok for kids to make messes. We all do it.

[@aliyakrebs8754]

The Jane Eyre one was totally me tho

[@NikolaViolet]

1:28 is my favorite 😂😂

[@christinagoodson5442]

Same

[@juliamartin4141]

Mine is at 0:48. Good for you, Helen Ashby!!

[@kylerogerspowers2935]

Some great one's. Must be why I'm single and no desire for kids. Loves my peace and quite.

[@velvety2006]

me meeting with my friends with kids : I was up all night, they broke the toilet and the youngest puked on the carpet, how was your weekend? my weekend: sleeping till 9, lazy breakfast, gaming till lunch, eat lunch do some laundry, go back to gaming, eat dinner, check fb and other things on the computer, go to bed at 11. me to friend: oh the usual, little relaxing little housework. 😅

[@diddl03]

0:40 - I got tears in my eyes🥺💜

[@indigostormxd3339]

0:56 is my fav 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@mechengr1731]

I remember being depressed by that book. And I also remember that being the saddest possible way for the ship to sail. I honestly don't remember what happened in those 200 pages however

[@birdylove24]

Great tweets! 😂 And I loved reading them without sound at the end! ❤️ The world is too noisy for me...🙉

[@metarcee2483]

2:32 grown women feel this way, too.

[@crazycatlady39]

2:50 Yell back, "How did you get us uninsured?"

[@mamacindyrogofsky495]

I rather hear her son talk about Minecraft than hear him talk about being unhappy bullied or abused...

[@653j521]

Mama Cindy Rogofsky Those aren't the only choices! :)

[@mamacindyrogofsky495]

@@653j521 OK OK true. Lol..

[@CaroDuran29]

Missed the point :/

[@annora2564]

8:56 the fact that a thing called "Children's Day" ACTUALLY exists in INDIA- LMFAO

[@itsjustme3873]

The fact that it ALSO exists in KOREA-

[@annora2564]

@@itsjustme3873 LMAO being underage has an advantage that way HEHE

[@WhatTheFlo]

Lmao it also exists in Myanmar-

[@akshatharao5688]

What's so funny🤔? when fathers day, mothers day and all can exist I don't think children's day is weird at all...the only funny thing is that your parents scold and nag at you even on that day😂😂

[@annora2564]

@@akshatharao5688 True and relatable af and it's funny in the sense that the kid demanded for it without knowing that such a thing really does exist lol

[@Rosewolf29]

Some of these seemed a bit mean, like the parent didn't want to be a parent cause their kid knew and said the weirdest but accurate things. XD I died laughing with most of these.

[@abfarrow3596]

6:41 yep. My dad did that yesterday. We had been at my cousin's house so I said "I don't mind going back to Autumn's house, let's go!" We did not go back to Autumn's house.

[@ijustdocomments6777]

6:26 Some of these are making me go, "Literally my dog."

[@karldubhe8619]

The thought of a kid having to ask if the health insurance is available breaks my heart. There's a reason advanced democratic nations have socialized health care for everyone.

[@imzjustplayin]

You're sad that the kid thinks it's ok to take unnecessary risks because they have health insurance?

[@karldubhe8619]

@@imzjustplayin That the kid would think about having it in the first place, Yankee. That's what I find disgusting about your nation. You cannot be free if you're worried over how the doctor is going to be paid.

[@imzjustplayin]

@@karldubhe8619 You cannot be free if you worried about how your bills are going to be paid either I suppose. Why not have a basic universal income while you're at it?

[@karldubhe8619]

@@imzjustplayin Either a basic income, or just make sure everyone can survive. Why would you oppose that? If you want a consumer economy to work, then people are going to need money.

[@imzjustplayin]

@@karldubhe8619 You're the kind of person who would plug an extension cord into itself and say you discovered a way to make infinite electricity.

[@patchez1995]

1:16 made me cry from holding in my laughter 😭 😂

[@bbeyez]

My son to everyone who said hello "You know she wearing a wig right?"

[@enbyous1234]

Why is nobody talking about 1:58??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@xo2quilt]

Reminds me of when I was doing my student teaching in a 5th grade classroom and one of the popular boys was saying something and used the word "penis" instead of whatever word he meant to say...my lead teacher and I locked eyes across the room and not one student caught it!

[@lilliafigueroa1289]

Ikr?

[@-0m3rcy0-8]

3:42 Haha omg that’s amazing- please imagine me and any other who uses they/them pronouns as a swarm of bees lmfao

[@marafrizol9783]

The skate park one is real. As a poor kid, I always made sure my mom could afford the doctor b4 I did something stupidly EPIC.

[@Cndydsny]

At least it wasn't a four minute story explained in 10 hours. The resturant waiter and tampon one lmao hilarious

[@virginiaviola5097]

Mr 3 at his sister’s baptism when the minister asked him if he’d like to come up to the font to hold the candle “ no thanks, I’ve already had my hair washed”. Which resulted in me getting an uncontrollable fit of the giggles, while trying to maintain a straight face. Same kid aged 5 when asked if he would say grace at dinner: no. Me: ok. Him 5 seconds later suddenly blurts out “ joy to the army”. Don’t ask. His youngest sister, aged 3 wanting to hand me pegs while hanging out the clothes one day when I was in a hurry, so told her not today because Mummy was rushing, started “ but God put me on this earth to help you, so if you don’t let me help you, what’s the point of me?” Pity she became a real kid eventually. Same kid at the same age also informed me one day at breakfast that I didn’t know that she was the person who strung all the tennis racquets in the world. We didn’t even play tennis, so ?? When asked where she found the time to do this she said that when I was asleep, and thought that she was asleep in bed beside me, she really wasn’t, and was travelling around the world all night, stringing all the tennis racquets........I cannot tell you how much I loved having kids, they are pure gold, or how much I miss them and those days, now that they have all grown up. On the other hand, some of them now have their own bundles of joy, the tables have turned...

[@stevehodgkins8801]

Whoever spent 400 bucks for a bat and a glove for little league - you get exactly what you deserve if your kid quits the first week....

[@Kitsune1989]

Gotta agree. You can easily get a bat AND gloves for under $50 at toys r us. If you have that much money to spend on something as standard as a bat then clearly you can afford to lose the money to your stupidity. As someone who does one of the most expensive sports in the world, and I used to be professional, it always surprises me how many people can't be bothered to price hunt or who think if the price tag is bigger it will magically make their kid less bad at the sport.

[@ijustdocomments6777]

Amen to that! I'm picturing they let the kid pick out the equipment.

[@joiagibble3625]

Yeah my mouth dropped open on that one...and who let's their kid quit first week of anything?

[@monicamacneille3372]

The swarm of bees one is great!!!

[@woooooooooooooooooooooooo]

I agree

[@amandah2866]

I mean the 11-year-old isn't wrong, if you don't want to be cleaning up messes you didn't make don't have kids.

[@dbeekman9738]

... or get a job.

[@virginiaviola5097]

That was my daughter, always. Now she has her own Miss Sass, almost 3, and the whole ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ has never been sweeter 😉

[@JJ-bp1yp]

2:52 that is relateable

[@Amanda-jv7ou]

1:56 i am crying hahahahaha

[@allietone20]

The long division one got me!

[@christopherdean1326]

4:35. Kind of on you for buying all that cr*p before you knew whether he was going to like it.

[@_mangostudio_1911]

I mean I guess it depends on the league, they could make you buy all that stuff beforehand?

[@Kitsune1989]

@@_mangostudio_1911 yeah, but you can get a bat and gloves together for under $50 at toys r us...cheaper at thrift stores. There's really no need to spend THAT much. He seems like one of those parents that think if they pay for more expensive equipment their kid will be better... at a sport they've never done.

[@spunkyflunkrdoodle467]

2:32 I feel the same way

[@alicewilloughby4318]

7:14 - Ah, so THAT explains it!

[@latedecember2805]

4:35 where the hell are you shopping lady, my whole out fit for my son for little league was Maybe $45.00. No way in hell am I paying 250$ for a bat, Pro tip for all parents of preteens.. never buy a new car for a teenager, they usually wreck the first one. Buy them a clunker until they have driven for a few years. ( unless you are insanely rich and can afford a new car every week and full coverage insurance to go with it. )

[@lovelyhumanbeing261]

I got a hand-me-down car because my dad got a new one. I love that car so much. (It's a white Aveo (?))

[@bronwyncrocker1049]

Thank you again for my sore stomach from laughing x

[@rosepetunia1829]

I once went to my little brother’s friend’s birthday party and he (the friend) told me, “Have you ever accidentally peed in the bathtub, drink it, and it tasted like apple juice?” Uhh no.

[@williammurray1341]

Put a bell on the hiding child - not all hiding places are as obvious or safe. Retired firefighter.

[@justadogmom.8057]

This is why kids, we always delete our you tube history

[@shortbus4447]

My boyfriend and I are pregnant and the entire time I'm going, "Man, I hope our kid is like this!"

[@raymond19001]

How can your boyfriend be pregnant?

[@heartsmyfaceforever8140]

When that luggage stops giggling it’s already too late

[@sophieandgwennyshow5197]

0:46 is very wholesome

[@glint1224]

So, how many of these do you think are real versus people making stuff up to try to get some internet clout?

[@capnbobretired]

Mark Twain said, "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story." I read this just this morning on O. Henry's latest blog posting.

[@glint1224]

@@capnbobretired You also have the famous line "Don't believe everything you read on the internet"-Abraham Lincoln.

[@653j521]

Glint If they aren't real, some people could have a career as comedy writers.

[@cyndianderson7056]

I'm thinking they're real. I wish I had written down all the stuff my kids and grandkids said/did. Seriously hilarious. Kids are really funny without knowing they are.

[@Eggshellrabbit]

As an 11 year old, it is honestly relate already

[@user-vm5ud4xw6n]

The person telling that very young mom her son had Downs-like it was the end of the world-was indeed cruel. Unfortunately that was the thinking of many people as little as 30 years ago! Maybe even still to this day. It upsets me to no end when people say “all I want is a healthy baby!” So what are you going to do if that gift from heaven isn’t completely healthy? What if they have a heart defect or something with their limbs or kidneys. What then? You planning on sending it back ? Because you can’t. We need to quit tacking on these disclaimers and accept that not everything in life is perfect. There is only One who is perfection and that is God Himself!

[@godofchaos9571]

3:46 Make them all think they're a swarm of bees; the truth, they're three cat's in a trenchcoat

[@noluvchanties6212]

Im sorry. That was the best feeling in the world: my daughter chose me over anyone else. Me. And as she got to toddler age and i happen to hold another baby she would damn near push that lil fucker out of my arms...then she'd throw a fit. I've never felt so wanted by another human being.😍😍😍

[@lindakelley2560]

Best one yet

[@cody3927]

3:27 thats gotta be dangerous! Its not even strapped in 🤔😮?!

[@audreyortman9238]

Walked into the bedroom once, brother and his cousin had taken 10+ receipt printer paper rolls and unrolled them everywhere. Me: what are you guys making?? Cousin: Um, a mess. 😆

[@ven-236]

lol I love these

[@shadmananwar6986]

The dislikes are from the kids

[@auntydale3379]

My nephew found a tampon in my purse, thought it was a candy bar and refused to give it back to me. lol

[@aishi6131]

When I was little I was chosen to read the gospel in church instead of profit I said prostitute my parents still laugh at me for that till this very day

[@lenaeospeixinhos]

5:07 and I have the same kids

[@sirblocketh]

@ 4:36 where was she shopping for sports equipment???? yeesh

[@katesims2346]

There is a children's day. It on December 25thh.

[@lilywalker7499]

1:00 as someone who reads too much there will probably be two weddings and a divorce and a half before the book ends

[@dbclass4075]

Mind to elaborate how half divorce works?

[@lilywalker7499]

@@dbclass4075 a non-official divorce but with all the aspects of one

[@annabellez5921]

1:02 I remember telling my mom something very similar lol

[@sunnyscott4876]

The 3 year old hiding in the suitcase is actually a little bit disturbing. That's how kids get locked into car trunks, cabinets and other places, go "missing" and aren't found until it's too late. I'd be worried about that one.

[@mostannoyingscaramain]

2:31 NO NO, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH OF A POG MOMENT THIS IS

[@carpenterthehivewing]

Okay, unrelated note, but after putting “Subscribe to weird dudes and dudettes” through 34 different languages on google translate and then back to English, it comes back as “Meet good and good men”

[@AquaSventi]

11:03 So true, except I had to do it for my baby sister.

[@plantlady1259]

So good

[@aphrodite4419]

8:56 In India, there actually is a Children’s day, and we have programs and everything in school

[@righty-o3585]

Why were they teaching about Noah's Ark in school? Did they add a fairy tale class recently?

[@lovelyhumanbeing261]

It might've been Sunday school. (Do they still have this? I'm not sure)

[@righty-o3585]

@@lovelyhumanbeing261 I'm sure they do. I think it's a misuse of the word school though. Religious studies would be more accurate

[@lovelyhumanbeing261]

@@righty-o3585 Oh, okay! That makes sense. (They don't teach religion (or at least, not like this) at my school)

[@righty-o3585]

@@lovelyhumanbeing261 Not sure where you live, but in the United States it's against the law to teach religion in public school. They can teach about historical events that were influenced by religion, like the crusades and such, but they cannot teach any of the religious stories from the Bible or any other religious text..

[@lovelyhumanbeing261]

@@righty-o3585 I live in the States! The only time we learn about religion is in World History, and we learn about lots of different religions, rather than strictly Christianity.

[@nachtmerrie1616]

0:56 best one xDDDDD (I love Jane Eyre btw, it's my favourite book)

[@billybegood466]

4:35 Where tf is this person shopping that little league gear was this expensive?? $150 for a glove? $250 FOR A BAT?? YOU CAN SUPPLY AN ENTIRE TEAM WITH BATS FOR $250!

[@wonderingasiwander3256]

I am 10 and 13 years younger than my older sisters. I was about 7 and our cousin who was their age came over and he was our best friend. I thought i was being so clever when i announced "he's like a friend, and a cousin! He' a Fuckin!! 😃"...and crickets preceded an eruption of laughter.

[@june.w.1288]

LOL 🤣

[@derpyderp1991]

1:24 oh no someone is going to get hell for saying "those" words

[@sapiophile545]

Big enough to read this time!! 😋

[@ugaladh]

2:10 the 3 year old was named Norman, Norman Bates.

[@TheCrazysingingurl]

Down Syndrome kids and kids with other disabilities are some of the sweetest people I've met.

[@rckyhrrorpctrshowandtell]

Actually, it was named “pineapple” because Christopher Columbus wrote that the outside felt like pine, while the inside was like an apple-9:20.

[@EpikReese]

2:28 and 3:09 and 3:49

[@gumi1098]

A REINDEER IS A WATERPROOF DEERRRRRRRRRR

[@C.L.Hinton]

1:07 Can someone please explain to me why looking in your child's backpack means you need to do long division?

[@ellieragsdale4398]

I think it means you have to do your child's long division homework

[@buchanangetz]

Yeah I didn’t get that one either…

[@virginiaviola5097]

Homework. Some parents actually take the time to help their kids. And maths is always the great leveller when you struggled to do it the first time round lol.

[@aliceiscool149]

Can I have a shoutout? Xoxo

[@ani6830]

The joys of parenthood.😜😭🤢🤭🤐🤯😍

[@russs7574]

Darla...you're having some fun with us, right? If you $625 on your Little Leaguer's glove, bat, uniform and cleats, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to pee in the cup.

[@frogs4542]

The 5 years of minecraft is me with my dad and fnaf but it's almost a year😂

[@Kclark495]

July treasures

[@crakoa1254]

Now this is a accurate shit 5:25

[@kossttamojaan]

1:15 like and win

[@alexandercimino1900]

Hmm

[@peachesrambo4037]

Having kids is ok, just dont bring them out in public. HA

[@nishka.777]

8:58 but, don't we already HAVE children's day???

[@musicalguy9]

I want to be a parent now but sadly I am not yet a parent and I am 35 years and 11 months old

[@jodisredwyne378]

That was fun. :)

[@alexaclancy8019]

the last one was funny

[@sk31370n]

9:14 it doesnt taste like pine either!