The Bible's advice for your Marriage

Relationship problems? There's good news. God has given us instructions on how to have the best marriage. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of marriage, parenting, communication and more. Dr. Eggerichs has authored several books, including Love and Respect, which is a New York Times bestseller, Platinum and Book of the Year Award winner, and has sold over 1.6 million copies.
Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Eggerichs developed the Love and Respect Marriage Conference which he presents to live audiences around the United States.
Men and women will learn how to resolve conflict, dealing with the negative reactions (the crazy cycle). They will also learn how to motivate each other by meeting each other's need (the energizing cycle). Even those who feel hopeless in their relationships will gain understanding on how to handle an indifferent or unresponsive partner (the rewarded cycle).
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[@Ryanjoned163]

God is like oxygen you can't see him but you can't live without him

[@rosemaryalosius3369]

100% 🙏

[@bme7491]

You can't see oxygen but it's real, it exists. So far I see no similar evidence of anything supernatural, so I live without that irrational belief just fine.

[@be.love.d.of.christ1355]

Thanks be to God and Christ our Lord and Creator without Him, one of His creations (oxygen) would not exist

[@faithbuilder1320]

That's a gross understatement. He's everything. And without Him there is nothing. That is still an understatement. He's infinitely beyond everything that's good. And that will not even be the point or place to begin with. The world doesn't understand this because they don't know Him. I know that you love God. And mean well, but can't back you on that one. Our Father's too big to fit in a box.

[@bme7491]

@@faithbuilder1320 Well, that's just an assertion...made without evidence. To believe without sufficient evidence means you can believe anything. But I'll take a wild guess and say you, like most, were indoctrinated by your parents from birth. I was...and it only took a moment of scepticism and RATIONAL thought to realize I had no good reason to believe. I now make it a matter of course to not believe something until I am justified in doing so. Just as you do in every other aspect of your life. And think about what you would believe if you had been born in Pakistan or Iran or Iraq? And you would be just as fervent in that belief and just as convinced it was true. Interesting that he vast majority of the religious owe their belief system to the geographical location of their birth.

[@col.cottonhill6655]

I remind her I love her everyday even when she's in a bad mood.

[@c.w_]

Hard to do. However, a courageous Godly decision. Does it work?

[@whatdidujustsay2094]

@@c.w_ yeah. does it work?

[@faithbuilder1320]

@@c.w_ So, do we obey because of instant results? Or do we obey because we love & keep loving even when nothing seems to be working?

[@faithbuilder1320]

Col. Cotton Hill (love your user name). Loving & praying for them is a very powerful mixture. A man should never forget to pray for the woman who's got his back. Not many pastors preach on this, but I know that this is big medicine for a beautiful marriage. So cover her also with your prayers.

[@col.cottonhill6655]

@@c.w_ she's still with me after these years. That says something I think

[@jayg.a]

I'm an empathetic person, and I am usually drawn to people when I can feel their emotions. I will end up feeling a very strong bond or love towards them. Unfortunately, sometimes these are the most broken people, who will never look inwards towards themselves and get healthy. An empath ends up being a caretaker and doesn't get the compassion reciprocated. Women usually communicate what they are feeling, hoping that things will get better if the person understands their feelings. It's impossible, with a person who is emotionally closed off. I believe that if a husband is truly loving his wife, she will be at peace. Inner peace, after all, the two will become one flesh. If there is a relational problem, it's a spiritual problem and no amount of talk will help that. It's like oil and vinegar, shake it up like intamacy and it seems fine, but when you go away there is definitely something wrong there. It is very important to love the character of your spouse, otherwise you may be very miserable.

[@ryanburns1434]

This is the best 10 minutes of information I have ever heard.

[@psalm3288]

To be honest, both husband n wife needs the respect. Not only the husband. I've seen how my parents been. And I can truly says the only way that avoids my mom from being crazy or thinking of divorce from my dad's verbal abuse, Is only by leaning more on God. She decided to be selfless because she believes in God's grace and mercy. She finds peace and calm after the verbal abuse by realizing that she shouldn't place her focus on whatever my dad threw at her. This video didn't tell me how to tell men how to show love to his wife and leaving out the important point that both must respect each other. Actually, I realized most men thought their way of showing love is by being a provider, giving any materialistic things which they thought is "love" to his wife. I believe my dad thought that's love. He's the best provider I could have. But I was tormented by verbal abuse in my early childhood as well. It even made me think "this is how women should be treated, u're provided well so you should respect him." Found the same type of man as my boyfriend which made me confused of suddenly feeling depressed. Only to have my eyes opened when another guy showed me true love and respect. I felt loved when I was respected. I felt loved when he took alot of time and effort to explained to me how women should be treated. I felt loved when he never belittled any my wrongdoings but advices me carefully. Also, taught me both man n woman must respect their own boundaries. And be authentic in our interaction. There's alot I can say in this. But, in short, even a woman NEEDS HER RESPECT from her man. Not 1 way. Even Jesus respected our decision when we refuses to follow Him and waited and still loves and cares for us during his waiting for our surrender to Him. Sorry for ranting but I felt really sad when there's no saying that a wife should be respected by her husband as well.

[@ayvin_the_dev5650]

Respect definitely goes both ways- and as a man should love his wife while she submits to him- it also says in Peter that men submit to your wife’s and love them. That’s respect right there. Always goes both ways.

[@susanhaines7358]

The word you described is cherished. He took the time to invest in you.

[@stephsmith3857]

When a man seeks to understand a women’s “love language”, respect follows.

[@terrygodgirl4430]

This is important and relevant. I am saving this in my playlist for constant review.

[@sm7091bs]

Same for me! Just saw it and this is a kind of answer to me because of the strugle i face for a long time in my mariage. I have to see this frame several time so it can settle into my heart to understand it were i am in.

[@mrJoker4235]

My thoughts exactly.

[@corycaschman]

I love this concept. Probably the best advice/program we ever went through to strengthen our marriage.

[@ChristopherHarle41048]

I wish I'd understood this long ago. But hey, it's not too late. This is wisdom that our society, our church, our marriages need. Thank you.

[@christshinesinmylife821]

I'm feeling the same way, Amen! :) God bless you and yours! :)

[@dannymeyer3256]

Respect goes both ways and yes respect is earned.

[@crmmartens]

I try everyday, I pray every day, I start anew every day, he has a list that will always be used against me. But if I ever bring something old up, I am not allowed to. Even though honestly... it's extremely where the trust was broken.

[@cynthiajohn6261]

Shalom! Thank you for this session. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Every couple must come before God before marriage and walk with HIM. Only God can set us united or free from any problems. God bless.

[@bme7491]

And I guess only god can starve millions of children every year along with all the other bad things that happen.

[@Vikingshop]

@@bme7491... No humans disobey God. God commands "Feed the poor!" IF we did that, noone was starving. God commands "Do NOT kill! If we obeyed there would be no war. Etc. Etc.

[@bme7491]

@@Vikingshop Ok, but we don't need a god to know we should help our fellow man. And the religious are just as guilty about not helping out as anyone else. It's not a problem of religioiusity, it's a problem of human nature caring only so far outside the "circle". You care about family and friends, probably less about local community, and probably care none about your country or the world. Do you weep over every child that dies in the world as you would for your own? NO.

[@klugermann5806]

@@bme7491 you hit the nail on the head with "human nature" which the Bible describes as being evil and no good can come from it. Is mankind getting better or worse? Only worse and you should know that much. You want rules of morality without anyone telling you what you can and cannot do if you're really honest about it. Who determines what is right and what is wrong? Where does "morality" originate? If there's a moral law then there has to be a moral law giver. I honestly don't get why you waste your time here unless you are here to spew hate. You are not helping whatever cause it is your trying to push. Are you a humanist?

[@apgx6032]

We spin out of control when we allow feelings to take control,

[@minajan4316]

I hope to find a God fearing husband 🙏🏼❤. No rush

[@chrisgood5161]

Prayerfully U will find but by sight it may be very difficult if not impossible. I want to believe U meant a born again Christian , many people who claim to be Christians don't know God . All the best n Grace.

[@minajan4316]

@@chrisgood5161 Thanks yes I want a Baba God fearing husband I believe he will come when the times right but if course I want to build a friendship first as that's what my good cristian friend tells me. Build a platonic friend then see when it's headed too. This days and times it's so hard. I miss meeting people in person.

[@chrisgood5161]

@@minajan4316 on point relationship building is good, however be wary of lion in sheep clothing ,those chop and clean mouth adherent. Isaiah 34:16 Seek ye out of the book of the LORD, and read: no one of these shall fail, none shall want her mate: for my mouth it hath commanded, and his spirit it hath gathered them. Holy spirit will connect you if U seek his face . Through prayer ,bible literacy adorned with righteous and holiness your expectation shall NOT be cut off. Also despise not Christian fellowship , most importantly your character and lifestyle will be an irresistible flagrance . Finally I urge you to resist the temptation of testing before buying because many want to Do before saying I Do.May holy spirit enlighten you more as U draw closer to him

[@minajan4316]

@@chrisgood5161 your right I will take that into consideration 😊. as for I'm enjoying my single life 🥰🙏🏼.

[@chrisgood5161]

@@minajan4316 I concur with you because when married there things you may not be at liberty to do ,U may be stylishly restrained otherwise it may bring conflict of interest. Take note this verse as well Ecclesiastes 11:9 Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. Good luck!!!

[@hereim5648]

If your spouse has severe narcissistic traits then no matter what you do, your spouse will find flaws in you.

[@DJH97]

And there is no respect or warm intimate love and consideration from a narcissist. God says to stay away from those kind of people.

[@xiomseg]

God does not make trouble because is a God of Unity and Peace. He made us different and if we are IN Him. Who is Love we will find the place and the time to success in everything.

[@whatdidujustsay2094]

Yes. I do want to be your knight in shining armor!

[@loveu0214]

On time God always. Thank you Lord. After 31 years of marriage and lots of ups, downs, and a near death experience, im getting it.

[@thecandiedribcompany1020]

Thank you so much for this video. You have no idea how much it has helped to open an understanding of each other in our marriage. May God bless you both.

[@cassandraralph5906]

People are human beings, and inherently selfish, one needs to really humble themselves before God, and ask Him to break that sin and selfishness. It usually is a painful process, but however it is very much worth it in the end!

[@crmmartens]

I love this man with every inch of my being... what am I going to do?

[@ladennayoung2939]

Thank you Lord Jesus for this message reaching me. It's something about his demeanor/presence, that made me smile, and be a tremendous blessing to me while he was explaining this topic. And what he said at the end was really helpful/a blessing to me, and meat and potatoes to the entire lesson that was being taught during this.

[@temjenkrazy]

Remember, the most fulfilling and lasting marriage are based on 'Shared values'. If you settle down with someone based on looks and personality, that's gonna fall very fast. Try to discuss how many values you both partner shares before getting married.

[@charlesbrooks5481]

Thank you GOD because this did bother me and I’m glad your showing me ❤

[@Ben-so4te]

All scripture is from God. When God says love your wife that is exactly what he means. When he says for wifes to respect your husband that too is what he meant. He did not catagorize it. In other words only love her when you "feel" she deserves it and also only respect your husband when you "feel" he deserves it.

[@thechristianwalk]

This was super interesting. God's design may be imperfect in our eyes but perfect in fulfilling His purposes.

[@pearladams4817]

This is awesome and deep. I'm posting it on my Facebook page.

[@k.g9587]

So good. Thank you for sharing this it’s exactly what I’ve been trying to explain to my partner but it never comes across right

[@mmlejano]

Beautiful and touching me. That’s a blessing lesson for marriages. Keep praying daily for all marriages couple focus on GOD-JESUS CHRIST-HOLY SPIRIT! !!! WHOA!!! AMEN!!!

[@febasunnypenniii7754]

Thank you for the good thoughts..stay blessed always 😍

[@christshinesinmylife821]

Great message, I will show my husband this message later! :)

[@mrJoker4235]

This was very insightful. Thank you.

[@j.legacyfambrough3966]

Great content. Thank you!

[@lioule1]

God bless great informative video God bless you

[@hugoanson2135]

ONLY BY THE DELIGHT IN GOD'S PROVEN PROMISES,THE FEAR OF GOD'S SCHASTISEMENT & SEEKING THE LORD TO TEACH YOU HOW TO GROW & GUARD HIS OVERVOMING PEACE & POWER OF LOVE IN YOU. OR YOU WILL BE CHASTISED.

[@crmmartens]

What if I made one mistake of one thing that he counts disrespectful and he uses it against me forever? Like and it has to do with letting the cats in the kitchen? They had just had their medicine and needed food and water. And I had forgotten. But now I supposedly don't respect him at all he thinks.

[@amandaburgett2536]

Loved this

[@lenabigonia333]

So good

[@amyrae1087]

Insightful!

[@pvdguitars2951]

With all due respect, that is not what Ephesians 5 means. Continue reading what Paul says, when he writes that he is talking about the church and Christ. He says that this is a mystery, thus we need a spiritual revelation to get the full meaning, Fast forward, end of book of Revelation: we see the bride (us) and the bridegroom (Jesus).

[@agraves561]

‘Trust God that the tensions are designed for a deeper purpose’

[@bme7491]

What an immoral god in that case.

[@agraves561]

@@bme7491 maybe it’s not that God designs the tensions, but uses them for His good and our good. I don’t think he enjoys our pain/suffering or anything like that.

[@c848]

He did not mentioned the purpose though. Leaves you wondering!

[@bme7491]

@@agraves561 "he uses them for his good and our good".......oh boy. that's the dictionary definition of an S&M relationship. No thanks.

[@sheilasullivan1950]

Yah, made us like oil n water. Seems to get a kick out of us not getting on so misogynstically gets us to turn to Him instead. Pretty twisted if you ask me.

[@DianapluckyTee]

This is so good

[@zarrzarr9989]

wise words

[@goodhealthhappylife9721]

This is so true in every sense about female and male biology.

[@sarahallen1028]

What if it's the other way around for your relationship. All I want is to be respected first then I might be able to love. How do I respect a man that lies is addicted to porn

[@corycaschman]

Ah yes, sin makes things more complicated and more messy. His concepts are perfect but we can mess it up with our issues/addictions. If he's not willing to get help to stop, then it's going to be tough (maybe impossible) to have a healthy relationship. Prayers for you sister.

[@sarahallen1028]

@@corycaschman thank you

[@leslychavez211]

Pray for him, Remember you can"t change your partner; Only God can. Expel the demons, lay hands on your partner. We are imperfect and even as ladies although we may not be addicted to Porn, We are also flawed. Always try to remember that but give it all to Jesus.

[@Anthony-hk7ty]

Is it right if you are married that your husband don't want y to work or yet go out to church have fellowship with other Christian or go to meeting like conferences

[@daniapowell180]

Hallelujah

[@kpballa1009]

"Wives, submit to your husband as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. So just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify having cleansed her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and without blemish..." Ephesians 5:22-

[@mandodelorian4668]

This is the Rosetta Stone to translate between the Martian and Venusian languages.

[@kimturner1963]

I don't know much about guys, so this is helpful. 😅

[@Christine-nj3kl]

Trust

[@vickiwadsworth9482]

And many times men withdraw to punish so she will grovel. ( In my experience)

[@klugermann5806]

Just a thought. Yes some men withdraw just to punish their spouse (better-halves). But not all do. Some withdraw from their spouse and the world because that is the way they cope with overwhelming depression, anxiety and have lost all hope. Just remember the way men and women are wired and how different they are. That's not to excuse either party on hurting or abusing their spouse. Ppl react differently to stress pain and suffering. I've been there and it was really hard to deal with. It was what I refer to as the "perfect storm". Marriage is never easy but if God is put first and remains that way in the relationship it will certainly be a whole lot better. May the Lord heal all the wounded hearts and mend the broken relationships. Let's all pray and share the gospel. ✝️🛐🙏

[@motorcyclemark2889]

Amen

[@elizabethroman970]

Amen

[@SunKissedKrissy]

100%

[@Joshuatree7746]

Its call the Jezebel spirit. Adam fell b/c of Eve who thought to know better and ate the forbidden fruit. Humility and meekness are foreign to both men and women these days.

[@leslychavez211]

Amen

[@lynndurbin9476]

Your translation is incorrect.

[@caminandoensuverdad]

The best plan for marriage: Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:22‭-‬28 ESV)

[@bme7491]

Misogynistic crap from ignorant people.

[@be.love.d.of.christ1355]

Amen !!!

[@neohermitist]

Most marriages are crap, that's why 50% end in divorce and another 40% are "struggle" marriages where the couples stay together for a variety of reasons outside of their happiness. Anyone with an ounce of common decency would see what marriage does to people spiritually, emotionally and financially and would be warning people to avoid it. You'll notice that all the people that promote marriage have a financial interest in its promotion; they all want to keep that money train going. Take a step back and you see an entire industry that profits off marriage (including these hope mongers). He made the point quite succinctly: two well meaning people, when married, will descend into "the crazy cycle".

[@BecauseGrace]

Do it Gods way and your “theory” dies. There is a reason God commands what He does. Humans want to be their own gods and we see the fruit of it… I appreciate you describing marriage and life in general when we try and do it “our way”. I appreciate you proving the Bible correct.

[@neohermitist]

@@BecauseGrace Yeah, do it God's way, doesn't change the fact most marriages are crap.

[@angloaust1575]

Husbands should love their wives As christ loved the church However human love is fallable Liable to change Better to stay single if one can It's not impossible Self control is the answer!

[@leslychavez211]

God's calling is sometimes for us to be single or to be married in a union and to make a covenant with our partner and God.

[@zoezionnelson2005]

Wives are to submit to their husbands and husbands must love their wives.

[@derxiong8304]

Oh, no! Another fail. Men's ego and pride is in the way. They don't know love how Christ loves the church!!!God bless you all in Jesus' name.💗🎈💒🕊️🐑🌟🕯️

[@patbrumph6769]

The idea that marriage is the only way to happiness is delusional. For many people marriage is a suffocating trap. The attitude of the early church toward sex was that Christians should never have sex at all. Paul's idea was that marriage was a waste of time. If you were a weakling, go ahead and get married, but you were better off not to. As for procreation, it wasn't necessary because Christ was coming back soon, and Christians would all go to heaven before they had time to procreate. Early Christians believed even in marriage, sex was an occasion for sin so it should be avoided altogether. If you couldn't control yourself, OK get married, but it wasn't pleasing in the eyes of God, so it was best not to do that.

[@100huntley]

Hi Pat, from my perspective it looks like there are a few misconceptions here about Paul's views on marriage and the early Christian attitude towards sex. Let’s clarify these: 1. Misconception about Marriage and Happiness: The idea that Christianity considers marriage the sole path to happiness is not accurate. Christianity values both the married and the single life. Each state has its own unique opportunities for personal and spiritual growth. Paul mentions this in 1 Corinthians 7, where he recognizes the benefits of both married and single life for serving God. 2. Paul's Views on Marriage: Paul did not consider marriage a waste of time. He acknowledged that not everyone has the gift of celibacy and therefore stated that it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:9). He taught that marriage is a good and honorable state (Hebrews 13:4), especially for those who desire companionship and family. 3. Early Christian Attitudes Toward Sex: The early Christian view was not that all sex, even within marriage, was sinful. Rather, sex within the bounds of marriage is considered a blessing, a means of mutual comfort, and a way to avoid sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). 4. Procreation and Christ's Return: While early Christians did believe in the imminent return of Christ, they did not universally dismiss the importance of procreation. Families and children are seen as blessings from God throughout Scripture, and this belief continues in Christian teachings. 5. Sex as Sinful in Marriage: Within marriage, sex is viewed as a gift from God, intended to strengthen the bond between spouses and for procreation. Paul encourages spouses not to deprive each other, affirming the importance of physical intimacy in marriage (1 Corinthians 7:5). Overall, the early Christian teachings and Paul’s letters encourage a balanced view of marriage and singleness, each valued for its contributions to the faith community and individual spiritual lives. If you have further thoughts on specific points, we're here to chat.

[@MultiSignlanguage]

Please don’t use any material from Emerson Eggerich. His teachings are terrible. He grew up with an abusive father who abused his mom, and it’s apparent he never healed from his trauma because he still has messed up beliefs between men and women in his material. 😣

[@corycaschman]

Have you ever done the course? It's phenomenonal. Everything in it challenges us to be more Christlike which is against the culture so it might seem wrong but it's spot on. So you might want to look deeper in your own life as to why you are so critical of someone as humble and God given talents as Emerson.

[@codzy3532]

im 59 woman and i met my bf in 2019 i was 56 at the time and i thought i was past my use by date in dating it happened to me unexpectedly i became friends with him first we spoke for 3 months then one day he asked me on a date i was scared and thought oh here we go another guy using me but this time i didnt feel like i was gonna be used he asked me to move in with him and its been great i never thought id find love in old age hes 8 yrs older than me and we get along great we respect each other ive had bfs before but they never stuck around he treats me like a princess we have disagreements not full blown arguements i feel happy content relaxed ive never felt like this before i was always hoping deep down God would give me a second chance at love an marriage i believe he has ive even prayed asking God am i doing the right thing living with him as its called fornication im learning about a relationship with God through him too as a woman u got to want to keep your place not forced but if u respect your man let him be a man everything will work out fine honour God and your husband and everything will fall into place amen an amen and ppls dont put your age on love love will find you i believe my bf i have is my soulmate thats what u need to pray for and God will do the rest amen God bless everyone i hope everybody finds a love like i did amen xox 😊❤🙏👵👴💐 ...........and we,v been together 3 yrs 4 yrs will be this year 2023 God bless everybody xox