The BOOM in ✨Guru Girlies✨: A deep dive into "bestie parasociality"

[@KidologyCO]

Click the link beducate.me/bg2422-kidology and sign up to Beducated! Use code kidology to get 40% off the yearly pass.

[@Oliver-jg8og]

Why do you pronounce "women" like that? I know It should be spelled differently, but it isn't.

[@ayleen8365]

@@Oliver-jg8og is in her FAQ, here a copypaste: FAQ --------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why do you pronounce "women" the same as "woman"? A: I am South African with a particular Queen's English/south of England tinge to my accent. Please be understanding, respectful and don't send me emails or leave comments about this. Thank you :)

[@Oliver-jg8og]

@@ayleen8365 There you go. Thanks

[@nicematerial]

Another absolute banger of an essay. Your analytical mind is beautiful. If you mentioned it, forgive me; most 'manifester' girlies (and bois!) are rich. There's definitely something to positive thoughts equaling positive actions and interactions (LeBron is partly the best because he BELIEVES he is), but almost to a person, family money is behind a lot of people's 'success' at desiring something and getting it. I love your ability to see through the tribalism and groupthink. You've a maverick brain.

[@remiremsar5946]

@@ayleen8365 Where can I the FAQ?

[@Silica-black]

yo just because she flashes a content creator that you like in this vid, doesnt mean shes attacking you. the purpose of this video is to assess and critique this "new" type of content. she's not throwing out personal attacks lol

[@yesssanibelle]

The girlies are 100% taking it personally and lashing out in the comments lol

[@copiouscat]

I haven’t seen ppl being “attacked” in the comments about kids video tho hmm 🤔 yall think there’s an algorithm to these comments too? 👀 either way I total understand and appreciate kidologys outside lens and perspective on a lot of subjects she’s covered. And it always reminds me to scrub or assess the content and/or ideals, morals etc I may have. SN: I am subbed to manifestelle and not pressed about this lol even tho I’m one of her viewers/“bestie” 😂 I could be biased cause I’ve liked and followed kid right before manifestelle but I don’t think she misandrist, some comments have certainly had some misandry rhetoric nd whistles. lol

[@marte1376]

she does not have the ultimate truth as well, just another opinion of what others said before. The lesson is not to speak generally about others, ok got it

[@i.f.5566]

@@copiouscat I doubt KZbin comments have an algorithm

[@suyumivie]

ong, ppl need to stop taking things personally bruh

[@Moshm4n]

The thing this "confidence culture" gets wrong about confidence is it's not an aesthetic, a virtue to wear on your sleeve. Confidence is knowing when you blow out at your weakest point, you can always get up and try again. It's not a social media highlight reel. It's when you're okay with the light shining on you in your worst moment, because the next could be a better one. It's being grateful for realizing you're wrong, because now you can be right.

[@lidiagizaw3828]

oh so u think coz these women are pretty they cant have grit or determination. this is ur myopic male gaze at work

[@frankensteins_robot]

it’s like the fearless misunderstanding. fearless people aren’t short-sighted and feel nothing, that’s being stupid and or apathetic. fearlessness is shaking but going ahead anyways, because there’s no other way

[@lidiagizaw3828]

u assuming these women tell women not to work hard is so cringe . stop with ur prejudice of pretty women u weirdo

[@goldenglowable]

Perfectly said 🙌🏽 Confidence takes some sort of humbling

[@chillcreature737]

YES you are so right!! 👏🏾People have watered down the meaning of confidence to wearing certain clothes, wearing makeup/how you look, etc. and as you said an aesthetic. I mean there’s nothing wrong with wearing what you want but it doesn’t equal to confidence. Having confidence is a mindset, believing in yourself without feeling insecure. You could look like the most average and basic person but have confidence. People seem to forget that.

[@chelseascreename]

Manifestelle and the spoiled girlies support group really changed my mindset in a positive way. I spent my whole life centering men and it completely changed my perception on things and helped me gain self respect that I lacked and deprogrammed me from the social messaging I got as a young girl that I just had to change myself in order for a man to want me which led me to choose toxic men and sabotaged my life in a real way. I wish I had that content in my 20s instead of in my 40s.

[@meaghanorlinski8464]

True. Then she dropped some anti abortion opinions and it really tarnished things for me.

[@valfanclub]

That all pick me bs is a joke. I get accused of it often whenever I push back about the rampant misandry that seems in vogue currently. Im 60, I m way past validation, and it's my extensive experience with men that has taken me to actually liking them. Somebody has to call out those ignorant self centred dysfunctional little girls. They don't know men, but because they got used or heartbroken, can't get over their trauma and basically stop exploration right there. I'm thinking of started a guru granny channel 😅

[@rrbeationNearyg]

​@@meaghanorlinski8464when did she do that?

[@niteshade2271]

@@meaghanorlinski8464 what? where?

[@matchaleche]

I find Manifestelle very problematic in many of her approaches, I feel she sees men as ATMs instead of feeling beings with passions and the wish of a loving relationship. This being said, my very first video of her is one I even downloaded onto my laptop, just to watch it every time I start feeling down and not seeing my worth. It's about understanding what makes you special and that you should never run after a guy who doesn't want you, because it's a waste of time and emotional resources. It really opened my eyes in a huge way how little I thought of myself to rejoice for every little crumb a man I liked gave me. And for that, I'll be very thankful to her

[@MeghanBean]

There’s also a weird infusion of gender roles.. as well as an odd focus on materialistic success

[@seraphile5720]

!!

[@JacquesMayhoff]

Success primarily obtained through a man at that. It's quite the opposite of a liberatory message. They seem to preach the idea to sell yourself in slavery to the kindest, most generous master. Bestie, you're still a slave.

[@christopherclark5804]

It upholds the patriarchy while at the same time playing into the gender War.

[@frostmaiden85]

​@@christopherclark5804 You have to uphold the patriarchy because you can't throw it away or change it, you can only try and benefit from it, meaning use it to your advantage. That's why she always says "Don't get mad, get paid". I, personally am not even in favor of upturning the patriarchy in general. Just let both genders get the best they can from it according to their kind, in fair and equitable ways. Know the saying "Where there's a will, there's a way to go", where there's goodwill, there's an even better way to go. There's nothing wrong with women reaping material benefits from a man, especially women with highly sought after traits, because she chose him of all people and offered him her presence, her womb, her lineage, the clout of being with someone like her. Of course, this can't be said for women who are considered undesirable or less desirable by men at large because, just like undesirable/less desirable men, they are not a part of this debate. People of both genders who don't or can't for whatever reason strive hard to have the traits considered desirable by the opposite sex for a dignified partnership can just stay out of the pool and find other healthy hobbies.

[@christopherclark5804]

@@frostmaiden85 it just all seems so soulless and materialistic. And honestly I can't help but feel a bit of sadness when I look at it all. "What can you provide that I could benefit from. If you can't constantly provide what I want then you're useless" it's capitalistic, soulless, cold, and conditional.

[@NidzShah-ps6kr]

I believe that Manifestelle is a class apart. She actually breaks down many social phenomenons and talks about working on yourself. I absolutely respect her!

[@once.upon.a.time.]

She always has such interesting and practical book recommendations, like "Basic Economics." There's just so much that we aren't taught or we might assume isn't for us and I appreciate how she knocked me out of that mindset 😊

[@manuelsilva6244]

And then she incentives woman to emotionally manipulate man and how moral that is because they did or would've done the same thing if they could. She has a tone of sexist rhetoric against man that is actually super dangerous. She has stated similar things about how to manipulate the opposite sex exactly like Andrew Tate.

[@anadubar4819]

@@manuelsilva6244 She has never recommended to lock up a man, s3xually assault him and sell him like a product in the s3x industry. She is lightyears away from a pimp like A.Tate.

[@carolinpurayidom4570]

@@manuelsilva6244Not really I watch her and no where does she say that and even it was she is aware the dangers woman are at.

[@Will-kt5jk]

My take on her (as a guy) is that the’s intelligent and is considering things from a wider context all the time. The vids of hers I’ve watched are generally positive and show a bit of a conflict between how she’d socially learned what to expect from a relationship and how she experiences the world to be. She’s still growing and maturing, with loads of positive takes along the way. She (as most people) does end up with a few thoughts snapping back to previously held patterns, like showing a video when talking about “good men” of the guy saying “a good man brings everything to the table, including the f-ing table” - no one brings “everything”. We (regardless of sex, gender or orientation) can’t expect “everything” from a partner; it’s just to nebulous. We are all works in progress. On the positive side, she does acknowledge that, regularly with things like “dating to your values, not a checklist of wants” and acknowledging the value of people who self-reflect and improve how they interact with the world.

[@bee-ob7se]

i fell down the rabbit hole of this type of content a few years ago when I was going through a big transition in my life. They did help me a lot (esp thewizardliz) to build my self esteem and work towards my goals. Manifestelle's commentary on modern society and feminism also opened up a new perspective. However, me being in such a bad place mentally led me to ditch my critical thinking and blindly believe everything these women told me. The way they viewed relationships as transactional and your male partner existing solely to provide for you in every way was starting to affect my own relationship with my partner. Them being overly cynical and judgemental of their male partners also planted a seed of doubt in me towards a long term serious partner who didn't match up to the very specific and personal standards of these women (mind you, I had totally different expectations for my ideal partner, considering my age, background and what i felt was important). On top of that, the whole masculine/feminine energy thing was giving me an aneurysm. What is that anyway 💀. I am grateful for the help these videos offered me in tough times, but the advice on anything to do with love, dating or relationships, I will pass.

[@42smash36]

we're been through our emo phase, unique and special phase, now we hit 30 and it's realization phase, works, paid rent, taxes, trump 2024

[@bee-ob7se]

@@42smash36 i'm only 19 but i understand what you mean 😭

[@youtubewatcher830]

really great perspective, i wish these girls would give disclaimers as to not everyone has the same ideals and to think freely. i take what i can from the content and wash out the rest !

[@anotherme1030]

wow, i don't really respond to YT comments but this really struck a chord with me, without going into too much personal detail, every point you made here is something that i went through when i went down my rabbit hole phase with this kind of content, you're not alone! honestly i still watch these from time to time but agree on the anything regarding love and relationships, i tend to pass on it

[@zaihoupersonal1635]

Watching content from these Guru girlies is like watching female versions of Andrew Tate.

[@AutumnFallsOver]

I think we as a society have completely forgotten the concept of ‘vanity’ and that it does not equal confidence. I speak of some of these guru girlies and the manosphere type content. Its not healthy to spend every day focusing on your looks, your wealth, your possessions, how “high value” your man is. One day you will be old, perhaps even bankrupt, get in a horrible accident or become very ill and lose everything. I speak from experience as a woman who did have it all, wealth (born into it), looks (good genes, thank you Mum), men. It doesn’t take much to destroy your life. Learn to love yourself as the mess you are, these women are selling a dream that can only be achieved with a lot of good luck that most people won’t get

[@sarakotevska5089]

God damn, preach sister. Thank you for the realness.

[@medicscout3509]

This reminds me of what my late grandmother taught me, I'll always remember it. Thank you for this ❤

[@toqa6735]

....says the woman who was born rich and genetically beautiful 😦😦😦😦

[@Shes.naomii]

So real omggg

[@joannasalgado8254]

Preach

[@MaeAliceSuzuki]

Hey Kidology I’m a subscriber to your channel and I watch your videos! I agree with you in general, though I never claimed to be a guru, just here with non-sugarcoated advice for people through learned experience and my own education 💜 It’s not for everyone, but the concept of self improvement is the only thing that helped me get back up from rock bottom and find meaning in my life again.

[@Fairycore_LuvrXcX]

This queen and others changed my life and there are so many more actually toxic male gurus, it’s unnecessary to bring women down

[@theosoreos]

you inspire me to better myself :)

[@Sunset2073]

Gurus never claim they are gurus

[@seraphile5720]

Hi I recently watched ur weight loss video and it was really helpful and very anti shame thank you

[@MaeAliceSuzuki]

@@theosoreos so glad i was helpful :)

[@spookyjones6577]

While I do think your stance is a refreshing one, Manifestelle’s videos really gave me a shock into a female centered perspective. It kind of felt good to hear someone say that you should value yourself as a woman and not deal with bad treatment. Also, “Don’t get mad, get paid” is a good way to view work lol

[@no.6377]

She's literally the only "guru girlie" I watch regularly. When I've disagreed with her, something comes to pass that proves her absolutely right😂 Plus, Elle is very practical about her advice. The other women often just talk about manifest this and high value that. Elle encourages women to pursue their academics and choose a job that will allow you the privilege to pursue your passion. Choose a generous man, not just any old rich man. Don't compare yourself to online creators. She recently made a video about creating more than you consume fur a rich inner life. Honestly, I love her content. ❤❤😊

[@SkippyLaughlin]

Exactly. Also she emphasizes that if a man if decent he lnwisher videos aren't about him. She doesn't hate guys just patriarchy and a majority of men are patriarchal and misogynistic

[@gladiatorinsweats]

Genuine question: y’all don’t have social circles or communities in which you hear these things? It’s disheartening to think people have no connections with people in their life that can provide basic wisdom like “value yourself.” This content is the female equivalent to the red pill content, slippery slopes where I also wonder where are the communities.

[@blackellegirl]

@@gladiatorinsweatsno, this is not red pill content for women. Redpill men are always preaching to men on how to degrade and use women. These women are just saying to leave men alone completely, if possible, in most cases. That’s the best option for most women in order to truly “choose better” like men are always telling us.

[@zaihoupersonal1635]

It's scary to read these comments. Watching content from these Guru girlies is like watching female versions of Andrew Tate.

[@coffeeandcults]

I rarely comment on videos but I cracked up when you said you hadn't manifested an editor yet. Great video!

[@isobelb]

Yes! That was good. It made me smile.

[@Reiko29DBS]

"there are many men who check all of the boxes of being high value but aren't very good men" THANK YOU KID Thank you. Thank you. People don't believe me when I say I've experienced this. @ 12:40

[@beautyininsanity421]

I'm trying to dodge one now. It's not fun when your wannabe abuser is rich, handsome, powerful, and well-connected. The verbal abuse hits just as hard as if he worked at Walmart and smells like a sewage tank. Don't be fooled!

[@catcat9582]

That's what manifestelle preaches

[@Mondscheinelfe]

Isn’t it common sense that your partner should be a good person? None of the guru girlies said otherwise lmao

[@lovelover4408]

@@catcat9582yeah if he’s not a good person Elle would not consider him high value. Neither should anyone else

[@carolinpurayidom4570]

Thats because they aren't at least not according to me the base foundational thing to being a high value man is being of high moral character if you are not that you are not one of them don't care if you are billionaire or charming good looking smart you are not apart of them a broke man with a good character is more "high" value then those men.

[@gumbilicious1]

The “bestie rhetoric” was a turning point in this video. Watching all this, I was kinda understanding and rolling my eyes a bit thinking”I can see how this can be popular”. The “bestie” part came on and it sent alarm bells to me hard. That is so shamelessly manipulative, an angle I have seen in other content, but that was a whole new level. I would have so many defenses up hearing stuff like that

[@gogudelagaze1585]

Ikr? Reminds me of MLM stuff.

[@valeriapebble]

The word "bestie" used in context of these types of videos can come off so disingenuous, because for a lot of women, they are selling a pipe dream. It makes me cringe when people say that in real life. Most of us women will never be in the top 5% of people who make a ton of money or can find a "high value man". What one finds valuable in a partner is subjective, but people want to say "this is what you should want".

[@SS-xj4fs]

Yeah I mean a person you’ve never met who has never met you can’t logically be your best friend or “bestie”. They don’t actually know what you go through and neither do you about them. They can only make guesses based on the assumption that you may have had some similar experiences to them, but they can never know that for sure, until or unless you actually meet each other and form a bond.

[@krista6538]

repeatedly using the word "bestie" unironically in these guru girlie videos often makes the content feel kind of infantilizing. LIke they are talking down to us but in our "best interest"

[@meemzing]

For Elle, I believe it’s a way to get “softer” more prosocial people to intellectually open up to what she’s postulating. Framing it as a “girls chat” would theoretically help decrease anxiety for some watchers and lessen the barrier to entry. Ultimately her topics are definitely not typical girl chat topics, they are very rigorous, discomforting, disruptive ideas to unpack and it makes for a heavier experience. Nobody is under any obligation to watch whatever makes them uncomfortable. However, I would take the intro with a grain of salt - I don’t think she literally means those who don’t know her + visaversa are “besties” it’s simply an intro or a tagline. I understand how that could enhance parasocial bonds for some of the lonelier viewers though.

[@linohanbin]

these women have helped me in that I'm an optimist now. I never was before. whether manifestation works or not is up for debate. and honestly I don't care if my manifestations come true. what I care about is that I spend my time now dreaming, being grateful and being positive instead of feeling hopeless

[@gentlekisserswifey]

Ohhh, Hanbin

[@gentlekisserswifey]

Btw same here

[@jindipity4772]

People hating these guru girlies are just as worse as those blindly following them. It doesn't have to be the extreme twos, like I agree with what kid's saying but I also watch these videos. I take what resonates with me and leave the rest I believe I don't need. It's as simple as that. As Bruce Lee says: "Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is uniquely your own." Cause there's always something positive we can learn and take from any situation. 🌱

[@PhilomenaCunt]

The first sentence was spot on. Hating them or following them, that means attention shined on them. They should be ignored instead of hated or followed.

[@alinachrist8416]

Exactly! I personally dont care enough about everything every person on the internet thinks about. I can agree with some, disagree with some and just agree to disagree on the rest. Esp if most of them have no effect on my life except being a source of outrage.

[@barbaramay9288]

bingo

[@christopherclark5804]

I agree with you and personally I don't hate them but I don't think they do anything to ease the problems against the genders. If anything they make things worse and they play into it.

[@cheesecake7274]

I watched this because I actually LOVE this content. It has helped me gain self respect, stop running after my boyfriend in a way he never asked me to out of an irrational fear of anger or rejection, it has made me have goals of my own, instead of living to serve so I wouldn't end up alone. I got my weight in order, focus on my health more, have hobies once again, I finally got a job I love. I really changed my life because they first made me realize I have desires, made me believe I could go after them, and that life could get better. They got me from wishing for death daily because of who I believed I was, to genuinely being content with myself. I changed my self image completely. This type of content CHANGED my life. But this video made me realize I need to use discernment. Think twice about what they are actually saying, and what does and doesn't fit my worldview, and to always approach others with love and positivity, especially women who think different than I do. But I do also think you have misrepresented the message of some of these creators a little. Manifestelle for example is a lot more nuanced, more loving about other women, and less misandrist if these clips are seen in context. Ironically, I believe someone like manifestelle and you have VERY similar audiences, most likely often overlapping. You are also a beautiful, conventionally attractive, feminine presenting woman, who (naturally, by who you are) gives off an image of class and privilege (clearly well educated, using RP accent). I think many of the girlies watching these gurus are manifesting being someone like you. I sure am. The difference is, you are (automatically, by creating this content as yourself) not telling women how to create their dream life, you are the example of a snapshot of what the dream can look like, based on their ideas of who you might be. Looking at the guru girlies makes me want to be a better version of me, while watching you informs me on what that better version could be. Not a critique, being looked up to is just a fact of being an influencer... and it makes me wonder what your viewpoint is on your own place within the world through your online presence...

[@FA9082]

The paradox of women watching content that teaches them to manipulate men is women are incapable of being attracted to men they can manipulate. A guy she can't manipulate won't wife her bc he can see she's a manipulator and a guy she can manipulate she will have no attraxtion to and wnt be happy in the relationship, so woman being manipulative is really a lose lose for her 😂

[@gv5884]

This. You hit the nail on the head. Kidology is the manifestation of what the spoiled girlie oughts to be and achieve.

[@Amanda-xx7sj]

I’m subscribed to both but more active watcher of Manifestelle’s content 😅

[@SwimsWithWhales31]

The best comment! However, I do think it's disheartening to hear another woman speaking in opposition of at least Manifestelle's content. I feel that probably means she has had extremely limited exposure to her and most of that was likely taken out of context in more than one instance (like how someone in these comments said Manifestelle looks at men as atms- i watch her videos regulalry and she rarely even mentions money! Her content is not hypergamy, where that rhetoric is promoted, and she shouldn't be lumped into that group). It's really too bad and I hope these comments influence her to take another, closer, more nuanced look. Because bestie wake up! For real...

[@SwimsWithWhales31]

@@cheesecake7274 THIS! because damn, you truly truly hit the nail on the head!!! I agree 100% with everything you said. It is absolutely fair and necessary to use discernment with and be open to hearing critiques of this genre that is influencing so many, but anyone actually listening and watching this content with the intention of possibly learning and benefitting from it versus strictly watching to find its weak points, can clearly see the value and the uplifting and encouraging messages being pushed...even if they end up not being messages for you. Going into the space already decided on an outcome is going to have you finding everything to support said outcome and unfortunately I feel that's what Kid did in this video. As I mentioned before, it feels like lumping them in with the hypergamous girlies and that's not what they are. And now that I've mentioned "girlies" let me also say I agree with your points about archetypes being helpful and that this video did nothing but label and group and archetype these women, whilst claiming to disagree with doing just that. But of course she did, it couldn't be avoided, because to your point again: they are helpful and needed! Obviously take generalizations with a grain of salt, but they arent "general" for no reason. (No Nuance Nelly moment? Lol). And the thinking from your original comment and the replies under it, is thinking that is shared and likely improved upon because we are watching someone as thoughtful, thought-provoking, intelligent, and EMPOWERING, as Manifestelle! The Spoiled girlies support group is teaching women to step into their power, it saddens me to think some women may never experience that, but makes me very happy to know that thanks to women like Manifestelle, there are also many that will!

[@TadanoCandy]

If you get hate for making this vid, please don’t feel discouraged. There’s some of us that see the harm in these guru girlie content

[@criimorh]

exactly. This one is already gettin' controversial...

[@42smash36]

so you're a misandryist

[@TadanoCandy]

@@42smash36 do you even know what that word means

[@42smash36]

@@TadanoCandy deflecting? so you are, thought so what do you have to say for yourself?

[@TadanoCandy]

@@42smash36 no, genuinely asking because I’m puzzled as to how my comment could be taken as misandrist. I would’ve expected someone to say I’m misogynistic because I’m not a supporter of guru girlie content (which markets itself as for girls by girls, and could actually be misandrist)

[@truere4lity]

This video is a prime example why I subscribed to Kidology.

[@aissa2572]

The issue I have with “spiritual gurus” and new wave spirituality is the same issue I have with organized religion - telling individuals what to do and what to think of themselves and their lives, this false narrative that people’s lives are a one-size fit all and “If I can do it, you can too.” As someone who tends to fall into the “therapist friend” archetype, I am just now realizing that just because a decision makes sense to me, doesn’t mean it will make sense to others; just because I was able to make a tough decision, doesn’t mean that others are able to make that same decision or should make that decision. At the end of the day, a spiritual guru isn’t going to face the consequences of making these life decisions for you, and you as an individual are not better or worse just because your life doesn’t match the fabricated image of these (usually wealthy) influencers.

[@thepragmatist]

I completely agree with this.

[@beautyininsanity421]

Yep.

[@ishitasahoo6572]

Agreed.

[@ralphfraz]

The kind of people who consume this content are not intelligent enough to reason on this level

[@PaviaHolicc]

But they are not forcing you to do so ..they are just giving advises based on their own experiences and research and I think their content is not for everyone? We must be selective about what we watch tho and take what serves us and leave what is not for us.

[@jjjj_jmj]

the moralization of character is just such a wild take and there is just so much focus on status and "high value/low value". literally what is happening

[@lidiagizaw3828]

hun i want u to go talk to a male bum and come back to us

[@TransSkateDate]

You really reign me in girl you really do. You are not a guru, you are just smart and present information or highlight relevant topics with grace and objectivity. Thank you so much for all your content.❤

[@akon9162]

I actually think manifeshelle has a really good point. Those things are taught in sociology. Yes, we all need each other, but women’s private labour is essential for society.

[@butterflymage5623]

Saying everyone’s labor is essential for society includes women’s private labor though.

[@akon9162]

@@butterflymage5623 yes but it’s also important to acknowledge that the public sphere is only possible because it’s built on the unrecognized labour of women in the private sphere.

[@akon9162]

@@butterflymage5623 by saying everyone that kinda goes back to suggesting that it’s equal when women often work both in the public and private sphere. It’s around the clock which isn’t the same for most hetro cis men.

[@anniem251]

manifestelle makes a lot of very sound points which have origins in Marxist feminism- eg ‘society is built from the Labour of women’. I really like her as a content creator but she seems to deny her existence as a feminist and I have to wonder why?

[@akon9162]

@@anniem251 frankly, this is the first time I am hearing of her a content creator. I hope to watch more of her content because there seems to a be a strong bias towards her. I’m sure she’s ideologically helping women in some way. Maybe she might find that the current perspectives and practices of feminism lack intersectionality.

[@sirondium]

We find beauty to be trustworthy because we associate beauty with a lack of insecurities, and therefore beautiful people must be more honest.

[@reve605]

Yeah. There also something called in psychology the “Halo effect”.

[@dilinglidoo]

Maybe. I honestly think everyone has a level of insecurity, but that's maybe just me projecting

[@TadanoCandy]

I personally felt beautiful people to be the least trustworthy cause they’re getting attention and offers from everywhere, so they don’t really need to be loyal to anyone in particular

[@SamanthaLily1]

@@TadanoCandy It’s your experience but I do hope that you won’t generalize it with all people you come across.

[@viw8622]

I often think when I watch kidology videos "thank God I'm not that only one who thinks this". Shes so good at breaking down subjects and objectively looking at them from different angles. Love this video

[@sunshyn1825]

This called me tf out! And that last bit about placing yourself in other people's shoes "who do not share your experience" should be simple but often forgotten. I think acknowledging how other factors outside of yourself affect your life is scary to all people and these "bestie Guru" are navigating that in their own way ig 😅 it's easier but I think more detrimental to assume everything is in your control. Comforting but in no way true. Thank for doing what you do best, making me think beyond the surface ❤

[@thedissilent2548]

I always think this about the "feminine energy" girlies. It's all just a bunch of conventionally attractive women( light skinned, curly/straight hair, slim figure) who would be deemed feminine by default just for how they look teaching other women who might have to work harder to be even thought of as feminine because of their unconventional attractiveness how to be feminine

[@raquelcvasquez1461]

if they weren’t conventionally attractive no one would listen to them.

[@marte1376]

haha i bet youre a male. Beauty is important when you are a woman, is following the status quo, being feminine is a=status quo, that is the science behind it, it is to play in this game of life and in this system and thrive. Who says a woman that is less atractive shouldnt work and spoil herself. IN this society, having beauty is having power

[@mordecaiissad8529]

Idk about the others but I know Manifestele talked about this as an active choice. In the sense of playing the society game and making the conscious decision to work on fitting the beauty standards and expectations as much as possible because like it or not it helps you in life. I have my own opinions on the matter and I'm not super comfortable with that, but I'm also very aware that life is hard as it is and often it's fine to do the work to stack the deck in your favour as much as you can. so all I can say is it's complicated. But I can't fault the girls that have a chance of confirming to beauty standards as much as they can for doing so when we know it makes their lives easier.

[@lucasfrank8843]

incel.

[@anniem251]

Really appreciate your perspective! I feel that spiritual content, especially that of manifestelle (which is more sociological if anything) is for the most part, largely positive and affirming of my modern western female experience. Everyone should be critical of the content they consume and I appreciate that manifestelle promotes discernment amongst her following. I must say, I massively agree with you on one point. And that is the hyper-obsession with material possessions and class. Whilst wealth allows for freedom in many ways, the emphasis that many of these creators put on needless bourgeois consumption (such as sports cars or property in Dubai, or prioritising money over love) really unsettles me.

[@Whatever94-i4u]

You hit the nail on the head. Manifestelle's classicist and materialistic views alienated me immediately as I hate consumerism. The "slight" bit of sexism in her content in which she talks about how men are for providing for women also didn't help me to form a high opinion of her as a person...

[@lovelover4408]

@@Whatever94-i4ushe advocates saving and investing waaaay more than she does consuming tbh

[@ianthompson1907]

Manifesting keeps getting repackaged for a new generation over and over. Remember when it was that book The Secret?

[@farah.mp3]

yep even the secret was a repackaging of self help stuff with some new age stuff sprinkles on it

[@keliksa5825]

I used to watch some of these girls. It is truly strange how easy it is to accept what they say as true and correct. I didn't even realize that they said some things the same

[@Alltherestofus]

Can I ask why you stopped watching them?

[@CutiePatutie_SmookiePookieBear]

​@ville__ did you think KZbin deleted your first comment?

[@Ca11MeMayb3]

​@@CutiePatutie_SmookiePookieBearIt's a spammer ignore them

[@keliksa5825]

@@Alltherestofus I felt like I was wasting my time watching these people. They speak with a lot of (hidden) hatred and that's how you look at the people they talk about. A better option is to read psychology books rather than their guides based on personal experiences. These videos didn't change anything for me, I stood still. More achievement thanks to your own work, suffering and the support of your loved ones (those who know you exist).

[@irene4633]

@@keliksa5825 very well said! couldn't agree more....

[@valeriavvv]

that’s what it is! they’re the popular girls from high school. i never understood what it was that made be feel inspired yet intimidated by these creators

[@lidiagizaw3828]

are u intimidated by kid too ?coz she's also conventionally attractive

[@Ca11MeMayb3]

Thewizardliz was definitely not a popular kid. I'm not even a major fan of her but do your research before making assumptions.

[@farah.mp3]

@@Ca11MeMayb3 research on what? she could have litterally made up her life when she talked about it and you would believe it, even that video where she yelled at some dude for calling her fat was clearly staged

[@Ca11MeMayb3]

@@farah.mp3 Is it really hard to believe that pretty people can have shitty lives despite their perceived 'advantages'. Take everything with a grain of salt if you want but I won't make baseless assumptions without evidence or a history a pathological liar. You can through her vids she seems very... lonely? Like a lot of her advice sounds like the come from a place of hurt which lines up with her having a abusive father and a lonely childhood.

[@Braticaloptimism]

@@Ca11MeMayb3thank you, people always make the assumption that bc Liz is a pretty girl she came from a pretty background. I swear I even remember her saying her and her mother are refugees too, people need to actually watch her before they judge.

[@edimulo3903]

Elle’s videos snapped me out of a crazy toxic relationship

[@marinettemasyrenaud8742]

Her videos really give you such a boost. Im so glad i found her

[@urfavvv]

​@@marinettemasyrenaud8742 me too

[@jenn8767]

I can relate, I had just left a very unfulfilling partnership.

[@christinejaynes9317]

Bestie wake up

[@lidiagizaw3828]

kid implied that woman telling other women to be more confident is a bad thing . i rly dont get what the issue is

[@Sammmc99]

Kid, thank you for being the voice of reason I so desperately crave when I come onto the internet. Take the reactions you’re seeing in the comments as a sign that you have done exactly what any content creator in your genre could ever hope for; you’ve made something unique that goes against the grain. People are always going to become defensive when something they so strongly believe in gets challenged. We all want to be told that what we believe is correct and true and it would be so easy if we could narrowly fit men and women into these tiny boxes of femininity and masculinity but people are so so much more complex than that. You are never going to please everyone. Much love 💕

[@ElizabethDohertyThomas]

I avoid this type of content but it's heavily embedded in life coaching and entrepreneurship. Yes, your mindset matters, but so does having a marketable skill and a product people will pay for. In the case of these gurus, they are marketing themselves and a mindset that aggregates a bunch of women that big companies will pay to get access to. Nothing at all wrong with any of that, but as you say, most of us can't do that. Our time would be well spent learning new skills. These folks are like candy without calories - yum, yum, yum, but you don't feel gross after, if you are their ideal avatar. I personally feel a little emptied out from these people, so I just don't watch them. Problem solved. :)

[@i.f.5566]

I 100% agree. Stay away from the brainrot

[@GustavoPinho89]

The point is not to watch or to avoid watching. It is that, after carefully following Kid's reasoning, consuming that kind of rubbish becomes pointless. Kid's speciality is to show us how the sausage is made; how the magic trick works so that we become immune to it. Perceiving reality from a rational point of view is not always fun, but it's really liberating

[@irene4633]

perfectly worded and that candy analogy/imagery you used made me smile. I agree with you on this, I refrain from watching their content too

[@irene4633]

@@GustavoPinho89 well said Gustavo!

[@juliapaprika3364]

wow, spot on!

[@Bsskhwvsh]

I really like manifestelle though I don't agree with everything she says

[@wPleasur3]

What don’t you agree with?

[@Gr95dc]

Same, tho some of her opinions honestly border misandry which is not good, but so far she remains more neutral so we’ll see for how long I’ll follow her channel

[@issy0613]

​@@Gr95dcMisandry is a myth. There's no way any hatred for men would ever hold any power that can oppress them or endanger their safety.

[@gabrielfrost9134]

For this you're her arche enemy now girly.✨ ✨

[@cinnamonroll2541]

​@@issy0613 do you also think racism against white people doesn't exist?

[@beewest5704]

Their content is very masturbatory. You watch them, you feel good you go away. I watched Manifestelle's video abt beauty standards yesterday talking about the backlash the Love Island girlies got & she has the most nuanced opinion I have seen. The others just seem to want to punish these girls for buying into beauty standards they did not setup. Please review it Kidology. You always have refreshing takes. I love watching ppl who make me evaluate the way I think or perceive something.

[@beatscatmommy1735]

I gave up my acrylic nails, my hair extenions and lash extensions. Changed my Mercedes and now drive small elecyric car, Simpliefied my makeup and lifestyle....Never been happier

[@pinkpain-ter8412]

I’m subscribed to almost all these women and ngl their content is what I needed when I just went through a breakup and was feeling used and unworthy of love. I personally love your perspective on this whole phenomenon since it brings into question the methods these guru girlies are preaching about and their subjective experiences. Yes, mental strength and optimism are needed to cope in life but preaching about a lifestyle they don’t have isn’t any different from other influencers

[@zaihoupersonal1635]

It's scary to read these comments. Watching content from these Guru girlies is like watching female versions of Andrew Tate.

[@TiktokBro154]

@@zaihoupersonal1635 Yeah those women and the redpill bros are the same

[@Fairycore_LuvrXcX]

Some people don’t want to improve themselves and that’s okay and their unhealness really shows in the comments lol but if it helps you then it helps you frfr ❤

[@lovelover4408]

@@zaihoupersonal1635nah

[@merlene_k]

I find the guru girlies content very inspiring, motivational and empowering. I take what resonates in my soul and leave what doesn't. Perspective is everything and i choose to view it positively

[@nanadecarvalho7840]

I feel like the biggest problem is audiences being sheep and unable to think critically, you are not supposed to take everything you find online at face value.

[@Fairycore_LuvrXcX]

Yup too many people are negative putting down these women and it’s icky to say the least

[@lovelover4408]

@@Fairycore_LuvrXcXthe comparisons to Andrew Tate are ridiculous.

[@Fairycore_LuvrXcX]

@@lovelover4408 Yeah most people in this comment section will never pass the vibe check 🤮

[@zuzuzuzzu]

​@@Fairycore_LuvrXcXyou don't pass the vibe

[@iamPudding]

29:10 got DEEP. Perfect example of why I love your videos. Perfect weaving of your personal experience with social analysis and good editing.

[@tajahlee5873]

I can tell a lot of you didn’t get far enough in the video because she is calling you out with these comments. These creators put heteronormative, neurotypical, CAPITALIST ideals at the forefront of their beliefs. If that content resonates with you, great. But if you do any research into Queer Theory or read any philosophy the answer is not to uphold this broken standard but to DISMANTLE it. I love this video. Thank you for your contribution to the conversation and brining an amazing point of view to the discourse ❤

[@JasminDolly]

How do they push neurotypical ideals? And what does that mean exactly?

[@tajahlee5873]

@@JasminDolly That we all somehow navigate relationships the same way. We all should base our worth and our partners worth on a set of ideas that most neurodivergent folk see as nearly irrelevant to their overall happiness.

[@ba_samsoum]

I really like the spoiled girl support group though 👀 She invites us to use discernment, promotes nuanced critique and media literacy. In her earlier videos she used to call pickmishas public enemy #1, but more recently she started addressing them with more kindness. She showed understanding and empathy regarding their choice / lack of choice in being agents of the patriarchy especially in her videos/pod on trad wives. On her last one, she took a neutral stance in kylie jenner's witch hunt and invited the girls to only accept beaty standards that benefit them!

[@noumiiidia]

I really like her , there are things I don't agree with but she seems good to me

[@ba_samsoum]

@@noumiiidia absolutely , I didn’t mean to imply she's perfect. I too don't agree with her on everything! But I don't find her problematic is what I meant

[@SibilaDelphos]

I really like Manifestelle, she isn't a parrot repeting things of tiktok , she dive deep in the issues and argument why

[@Itsstuff7328]

Good. She is growing as a person. But even though you like her, it doesn't mean she isn't using charisma and a kind of spiritual-speak playbook to promote parasociality. The spiritual speak AND the parasocial "relationship" can be beneficial and helpful. But just because someone benefits from it, it's still good to look at how it works

[@thepragmatist]

@@Itsstuff7328 Exactly. I don't dislike Manifestelle, but she is using a marketing playbook to grow her channel.

[@aliciavalenzuela4857]

I love your perspective on this and you hit it right on the head what I was thinking. The reason I am drawn to these sorts of guru videos is because almost no one in my real life is a role model that I aspire, and they talk very bluntly and make me realize where in my life I could work on. I don’t take EVERYTHING they say, kinda just with a grain of salt but it makes me reflect inner work, and has helped me look at myself with more love and confidence that I can tweak and take what I need from it. As opposed to the way my friends and family will be yes men, or sugar coat things. I want to be told upfront even if it’s harsh but I feel these videos are pushing me to be better.

[@siderealsea]

Everybody should realize that having thousands listening and agreeing with every statement they share is THE main source of confidence. They “bloomed” into these externally beautiful, extroverted, speak-for-self girls only after becoming slightly famous.

[@mariusvanc]

"You will never find a beautiful person being a hater" -- ahh yes, beautiful people, famous for not hating anything or anyone, they just love everything and are always positive. Those beautiful people, they're just such BETTER people!

[@ralphfraz]

Again, this type of content can ONLY resonate with the kind of simpleton who so blindly just accepts everything they hear as true that they can't even pick up on such an obvious lie

[@baddiesubs9]

@@mariusvanc physically attractive don’t always mean beautiful duh

[@baddiesubs9]

@@ralphfraz you sound like an extremely beautiful person LMAO

[@SamanthaLily1]

This mindset some people have here are extremely generalize form of thinking. So you didn’t have at least one person in your that is attractive? Passive hating won’t go you far. This comment just shows how you judge people based on people appearance that you can’t see the nuances in that certain situation. Kidology won’t encourage this type of behavior.

[@TenzinNyima19962305]

The England team needs to watch the Guru Girlies and manifest to win the Euros.

[@jaxj968]

💀

[@Cindybabe99]

Seems like is working so far 😂

[@abhinashkumar3161]

​nooo😂

[@sovietcomputerr]

Girl ur so freaking gorgeous

[@42smash36]

so true comrade girlie

[@unrulycrow6299]

This video is right on time, my YT suggestions have suggested me Manifestelle and I decided to check what was up with her. While sometimes she has good points, I also can't help thinking that sometimes, her arguments are the fluffy pink version of redpill. I can see the parallel, and so I decided to be careful about what I take from her videos. Your commentary on that topic is perfect to help me with my own critical thinking.

[@AmmuAmmoos-yh2gd]

Very honestly, these valuable womens changed my life in a positive way. I as a woman, never realised my own self worth, they made me realise it. My confidence has taken a very interesting shift. They made me understand the toxic culture, mindsets of human, so much knowledge. If I have atleast 1% confidence, self belief, self esteem, self love...it is because of these womens. I am grateful to them.

[@celestialbunny]

one thing i gotta say, is that all these women have such a cult-y following. i mean these comments prove it. idc about manifestelle btw. i don't care for her content. i'm not a hater lmao but there's another one i found, i forgot her name. that values looks as a way to level up, uplifts being skinny, and being appealing to men. and she's fine. but her fans are disgusting. anyone who dares share more nuance to her videos and topics, her fans call them "fatties" xp and other stuff in a derogatory way. ur accused oh being obese and whatver and that ur engorging every 5 mins bc oh. maybe making your entire identity about ur weight is a *little* toxic. i rlly have a hard time believing these people's entire rhetoric is about uplifting women in particular, when women who a don't believe everything they say at face value, are accused of being what they are against. (but the things they are often against are literally fine). it's so sad that these influencers spawn such weird people that eat up every single thing they say. it's like they *need* their words to function in life. i think that's what puts me off from youtuber like this. bc even if i rlly want to believe what they are saying, i just can't get past that

[@Ca11MeMayb3]

I now EXACTLY who your talking about. Karmalita fox right?

[@bee-ob7se]

this has to be karmalita fox 💀

[@criimorh]

People at their lowest points need some hope to listen to, the moment they get this lil' amount of hope, they're hooked forever.

[@tamarasanjani]

karmalita fox is male

[@Ca11MeMayb3]

@@tamarasanjani Its pretty obvious, she has the 'trans' voice (can't think of a nicer word for it) that a lot of male to female trans people have (at least here on KZbin). I heard of someone asking her if she was trans and their comment being promptly being blocked and deleted. I feel it's pretty disingenuous to be giving advice to women on how to lose weight and become pretty when she a.orginally was male and so losing weight will look different for her compared to her main audience and b.she had surgery to achieve her appearance.

[@jinengi]

I'm not a girl but I used to watch (mostly) the wizardliz videos a few years ago when my self-esteem was down. I did find useful some of the given advices and it might have helped me, but I also remember seeing how low of a class consciousness she had and how she sometimes attributed her sucess to a mindset when many of these things she achieved were possible thanks to her economic status (also the fact that she is and was conventionally very attractive). This also made me think about how sometimes this "take but don't give" of the "femenine nature" that some other influencers talk about are only possible if you date rich and, to me, don't feel ok unless you're dating someone who has too much money. I think that the fact that I am a man who dates other men made me see this "don't low quality man who can't provide for you" as yet another punishment for the working class based of gender norms.

[@suga3774]

Didn’t she grow up poor?gen/

[@jinengi]

@@suga3774 I also heard that but I wasn't there to verify it. However she has been wealthy for a while now and that money has surely contributed to her getting the time and space to have the "glow up" and the mindset she has now. As I said, many things she says about self-worth are valid and I did use them, but the vision of how she expects to be treated is something only attainable when you don't belong to the "poor", and in a way, despise them. Also the girl is gorgeous by all beauty standards, that also gives you a strong push into what she wants (not only her mindset)

[@Braticaloptimism]

“Many of the things she achieved were possible thanks to her economic status” I’m not what you mean there because she grew up poor and worked for everything she has now. But I’m not going to be dense and act like her appearance didn’t play a role.

[@alicec.6195]

I agree with Manifestelle in a lot of things. And my ex couldn't really build his own bedframe, I did it. Jokes about reality apart... She kind of opened my mind to see how I was being exploited in the house, and the end of the relationship was what she always "predicted" in many of her videos. It's painful because it is truth.

[@Jadealanee]

Truly… All of these people.. these women you’re talking about and the men who are their antithesis are all speaking out of such pain hurt and confusion. We all just want to understand the world around us and make it in whatever way we can, predictable so that we feel safe. Some of us are harming others in the process and using the methods that don’t bring us joy, but bring us pride to justify, profit from, and as a result disseminate information that we feel like should work for everyone but really doesn’t. All these people would consider themselves individuals, but they’re trying to create a new “culture” and it will always be subject to scrutiny. That’s just human. I wish they understood that about themselves in the world around them, but it’s just too marketable to really dive deep into our own insecurities for the entirety of our lives and improve every day.. quietly. 🤷🏿‍♀️ I’m not surprised, our recognizable and safe communities have been destroyed and this is the fall out.

[@Sammmc99]

Amazing comment!

[@mmegane5808]

I think using the term “healed/healing” when talking about a time in a woman’s life where she didn’t know any better would include not blaming ourselves for not having the information and or experience at the time. With that being said, if some of these creators did in fact “heal”, they wouldn’t have such a disdain and almost dare I say hatred for women who are right where they were before embarking on this journey. I think, unfortunately some of them despised themselves into a “glow up” rather than loving themselves through it, which would explain why they despise women they characterize as “pick-me’s”.

[@IronJhon788]

I knew Kid would have a better and more nuanced perspective on the matter. You never dissapoint! These girls, even the ones who make the best arguments like Manifestelle, are still perpetuating the same hurtful gender stereotypes and societal expectations and pressures that structure our distopya of a society.

[@yaeli_i_guess]

i love this channel so much. i'm so happy when you upload

[@Fluxiton]

People that use others as a means to an end are doomed to surround themselves with others that use them to their own end.

[@camilleg558]

Maybe some people don't understand that not everybody has the resources or the will to go after their desires, or their dream lives. A woman is not a pick me if she has the opinion that men and women shouldn't have a contractual relationship. Women who have it easy (pretty privilege, education and appearance that attract people, and oh I'll include ethnicity) have more capacity to reach their final goals. Everything now is about being "better," changing for the best, and forgetting this version of yourself because otherwise you're being a loser who doesn't want to stand up for yourself. It just feels off to me. There's no "if I want it, I'll have it" or "if I pray so hard to get it, I'll get it" That's some idealistic and unrealistic mindset. Opportunities and good situations are making you have the capacity to get those things; a lot of it is a fever dream; sometimes you can work as hard as you want, value yourself as high as you are and practicing "better image better self" everyday; life won't change. That's like an Fem(inist)ale American Dream. I don't know, maybe i'm just not built to see the vision. (Maybe if I saw a conventionally ugly young woman, who hadn't had an education, came from a minority, hadn't grown up rich or at least with parents who had money, didn't have a field of opportunities to catch, and who was telling/pitching me about "her" dream life (depends of your definition of the dream life), built on manifestation and goodwill, then maybe I'd believe it.)

[@NecroPandaDaps]

This! Happy to see these kind of POVs!

[@DeChihauha]

Yeah, guru girlies teach praying for a fairy to turn you from a literal pumpkin into a literal princess overnight /s Nah, it's about knowing your goals and dreams and believing that taking REAL steps towards them is worth it, in short.

[@lilybartgremlin]

@@DeChihauha most manifestation techniques rely entirely on mysticism tho. they don't require you to take any concrete action at all, just dream and visualise it until it comes to fruition

[@marinettemasyrenaud8742]

Manifestelle actually helps, sure you wont agree with everything but Girlie is on the very right path.

[@Itsstuff7328]

It's not about agreeing or not agreeing with her. It's about analyzing the tools Manifestelle uses to promote a parasocial relationship and how that is a stand in for spirituality in our largely secular world

[@EpicRainbowLollipop]

​@@Itsstuff7328 100% this

[@CasieMcMartin]

@@Itsstuff7328 Fantastically said. There are a couple things that I do appreciate about Manifestelle. First, I do think some vulnerable women get education from her that they sorely need. For example: She does a great job explains the financial and existential risks of becoming a SAHM. I also have been impressed by the level of analysis in her deep dives. For example, her rebuttal to the trad grad speaker, informed by her in depth understanding of Catholicism was beautiful. But it's hard for me to say that these positives outweigh her contribution to a new-age spiritualism that I find very toxic in the way its married to social media. And I can't tell whether she actually believes in "the divine feminine" in the same way that, say, "Twin Flames" follower does, or whether she recurs to these concepts because she likes to reappropriate maligned girly culture. But I'm sure she has followers who literally believe in "the divine feminine" and "tarot" and all of that, and are reinforced by her.

[@joyeetaghosh2209]

​@@CasieMcMartin what is SHAM

[@tsunderesmiley1901]

​@@joyeetaghosh2209 Stay At Home Mothers (SAHM) maybe 🤔

[@magdam8290]

Manifestelle strikes me as a rich California girl who grew up with a lot of privileges, and now she "teaches" women from less fortunate backgounds & less attractive looks, how to obtain what she inherently got. It's not difficult to find a good man or be treated respectfully if you're rich and beautiful. The point is, if you're ugly and poor, no internet bestie will help you. People who are physically around us shape us the most, not internet gurus.

[@awaaa4767]

Yes, and that is what people are afraid to admit. As long as they have that flame of hope igniting their wildest dreams then fuck it they will defend it with all they have. Even tho most of us know that this is all a very lucrative business and if everyone could just change just like that there would be no ideal to wanna attain to begin with. It is good that they were able to make bank with their looks and people’s deepest desires but I think Kidogy is very right in her analysis. These gurus are just filling the spiritual void and lack of guidance people have nowadays.

[@katybee3891]

Who is ugly? You really think it’s better to tell women they are ugly and therefore will never be successful or what is the point of your statement?

[@LilySaintSin]

​@@awaaa4767Almost everything you see on the internet should be taken with a giant cellar of salt.

[@marte1376]

you have two options when you are not that attractive, keep being who you are complaining about how other women have much more better things and life and the second, embrace your femeninity and start working out, taking care of yourself, etc. You are as ugly as you believe you are. Maybe you should watch these ladies and learn something. Kidology is doing the same and if you have adoration for her, you are repating the same pattern she is complaining

[@niteshade2271]

She admit she came from a priviliged background. Even so she had many societal issues to deal with because of her Korean background. She also disliked women before she got like this.

[@hannah-ul5oq]

You are one of my favourite KZbinrs, your videos are thoughtful and brilliant quality. 10/10

[@susmitachoudhury8608]

I watched this video in it's entriety and I absolutely LOVED IT! I do sometimes watch these guru girlies and often they have *interesting* advice and can be motivational. However, it can range from that to Andrea Tate vibes which is why having discernment is vital. I don't usually comment but I wanted to put my two cents in regarding how I felt watching this video. I went down to the comments and to see what other people thought and their experiences, and I'll just say, the number of comments mentioning Manifestelle is quite interesting lol.

[@Morbatx]

I feel like your takeaway from the Spoiled Girlie clip talking about women behind the scenes building the world is a bit off-base to the point she was trying to make. We don’t need to be told “it was people.” We know that. But you can’t deny the fact that our society is inherently patriarchal, and women are automatically assumed to be shoehorned into maternal/domestic roles while men take the credit for our SHARED (as you yourself stated they all were) contributions. There’s no way you haven’t experienced, as all women have, existing in the shadow of a man’s perceived accomplishments. We don’t need to be told the world is built by “people,” but we do need to be transparent about the reality that women’s input is historically silenced. It’s not a misandrist take at all, it’s just pointing out that we’ve done more than we get credit for, and we have every right to be upset about that inequality.

[@henrytep8884]

Let's be even more transparent and just state the reality is that most people's input is historically silenced, including men. That's not even a brave or courageous thing to say, its literally the truth. This is the Pareto Principle at work, the credit normally falls into a few hand of historical figure. How would you like to rewrite history to represent women that you think is salient or would be profound in changing how we see history? This goes for the vast majority of men also in the past, how would you like to rewrite history to represent men that you think is salient or would be profound in changing how we view history?

[@marte1376]

​@@henrytep8884 lol, men and women havent had the same issues and invisibility. This is the issue to be addressed. WOmen have been in silence for centuries despite their enormous contributions to the world. We are not remotely the same, although of course, men have also experienced pain and struggle

[@i.f.5566]

@@henrytep8884you’re right but it’s also true that amongst that percentage of people taking all the credit, almost all of them are men. So the misogyny still applies.

[@hellohell7773]

In her videos she also says that there’s nuance to what she is saying. She knows it’s not “all men” but it’s important to recognize that women usually in history and even now get silenced or even removed from the narrative because they’re views aren’t seen as “rational” or something of value

[@coolchameleon21]

PREACH!!! i get so fed up of people pretending like we don’t live in a violent patriarchal society

[@BrittanySimon]

THIS IS SUCH A LOOK GIRL!!! THE SETTING, THE COLORS, THE VIBES ✨️

[@ecco401k]

love both of your content! ❤

[@alexylmaz8393]

My old bestfriend discovered these guru girlies a while back, she was an especially big fan of the wizardliz and used to watch her content all the time and used her advice. At first it really helped her i think but after a while she started to force these ideals on to me and her other friends and if we didn't want to take her advice she would get angry saying that she deserved better than us. She also always looked down on other ppl saying stuff like "they are just not mature like me, im are better" overall she became a really toxic person and after a while we stoped talking, and im glad we did. I also wanted to add that I've personally been criticizing this type of content for a longer time and i am really glad that someone has been sharing these same opinions

[@SamanthaLily1]

This is what Kidology trying to say Sometimes people consume contents to the point where they blindly follow them, that’s where the problem start.

[@adaoraonyinye4368]

Brilliant! Especially love the comments on "pick-me" being used derogatorily to shame women who don't fall in line.

[@infiniteflame2374]

What I really dislike about this women is that they use a spiritual framework to talk aboutr gettiung what they want e.g. manifesting, but it's all based around materialistic goals there is nothing spiritual or introspective at all.

[@minabe550]

It's interesting seeing many of the behaviors you were speaking of in the videos happening in the comments, many thinking this was an attack on their best friend and criticizing those who aren't like them

[@luz9719]

Great video! I started watching gurus like the wizard liz because I was depressed and her tough love talk really worked on me. Then my therapist told me that it wasn't my fault that my life was in ruins, because even though I tried it was my brain chemistry that was wrong. So yeah, the meritocracy and ableism in the guru girlies talk aren't that healthy I think. It made me feel like I could take control over my life but it also made me feel guilty for my lack of success. Also I once watched a guru girly saying she healed from a real disease by manifesting and that was so freaking ridiculous. Then there's the reinforcement of gender roles which is really awful.

[@nxlla_k]

In my opinion I think you can consume this self improvement content in a way that benefits you as a individual, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. You need critical thinking when consuming any type of content on social media including these gurus. Yes some things they say are a bit iffy but on the flip side they genuinely do help multiple people learn their worth and more.

[@Kara-k2s3j]

On the flip side, they shouldn’t just sit and say bunch of bs and get paid like that. They need to put disclaimers and actually do research and be realistic about what content they’re putting out there. It goes both ways

[@MariaCaterina2012]

I ended a very unhealthy relationship recently. I came to realize that I had tolerated a lot of disrespect and neglect because I just didn’t accurately value what I was “bringing to the table” as a partner, to put it in crude terms. I wish I had realized sooner how valuable my love and attention is, because in the end I gave it away very cheaply. That’s something I think a lot of the guru girlies are right about.

[@madamebkrt]

I love this video so much. You are consistently spot-on in your analysis and I hope you completely disregard the cultists in the comments trying to dismiss or discredit what you're saying 🙌 These guru girly circles are basically the redpill/mgtow movement for women and it's disgusting.

[@ListenToStatic]

I have watched enough guru girlie content to ruin my youtube algorithm because this video sadly did not exist when I made this poor life choice. I was fascinated by their existence and wanted to know about the sort of fellow woman who might be motivated by this sort of thing. I watched one video, appalled, and then continued onto similar content for an entire day of landscaping. It was a mistake. I can appreciate how you were able to find positive-leaning nuance for this genre.

[@cynblack]

Coming from the view point of thinking of myself as dirt and letting partners in the past do whatever they wanted to me (violence wise mental wise really anything) seeing and watching elle's videos helped me see "wow wait i actually can be proud i can be kinder to myself and say hey you dont deserve what they did to you and you did give them a lot but now i want to be in a relationship that also benifits me in my heart" (im not really down with the money side of things they talk about im good there i just want love) i dont agree with everything she says at all but i appreciate being shown the total opposite of what i was by her view points and now going to the middle :) i hope that helps i know you asked what we had gained from them

[@Bllackstaarr]

29:00 i'm glad you had such an experience in the UK. I was also an immigrant (from eastern europe) and the beautiful popular girls in secondary school absolutely destroyed my life with bullying, mental and physical abuse. I never realised people can be this cruel to eachother for no reason until I moved there

[@Bllackstaarr]

it doesnt take away from your point but with my experience it will always hard for me to overcome this stereotype having seen this true more often than not

[@nanadecarvalho7840]

I can’t speak for the other gurus but both Elle and Liz have helped me a lot when it comes to stop being a people pleaser. I live in a very Christian and patriarchal country, so I did end up centering men around my identity and failed to cultivate myself as an individual, both Elle and Liz helped me snap out of it. Liz has a way of not sugar coating hard truth and that was the slap in my face I needed, Elle and the bestie support group made me feel comforted by the sisterhood vibes, that being said, I don’t agree with everything they say. Liz sometimes can get a little too materialistic and hustle culture and I don’t agree with that, Elle is catholic and as someone who left the church I also can’t agree with some of her views. In the end, all of us need to learn how to use discernment and have critical thinking, there is no content that is perfect and I feel like the biggest problem is audiences having sheep mentality and not knowing how to apply what is useful and discard what isn’t. Even the sprinkle sprinkle lady has some solid advices about never accepting men that want to treat you as a mule (and that is a problem so prevalent in the black/ African community) but I can never follow her content due to her transactional views on relationships. Critical thinking is a necessity in this content fueled age.

[@RuthM.-to3ll]

💯

[@NothingYouHaventReadBefore]

It's all so American. It's nothing but white noise consumerism, the constant need to speak and speak and speak. There's no gentleness, no quiet, no dignity.

[@hal8ymeister]

Hard watch because I love Manifestella. I agree with your point that often times she can be very black and white but i think her intentions is to remind us girls our worth because we are brought up a society where us women can feel misunderstood and alone. Her channel gives a good sense of community. Although I don’t agree with everything she says, I’m not one to completely dismiss her and criticize her because I can accept her differences and recognize that she brings more good than harm.

[@lovelover4408]

Always remember nuance, bestie!

[@HarshPrasad-b7l]

She is a misandrist bigot

[@02amelia]

LOVE that you associate this w/ the search for spiritual meaning & especially love the comment on religious devotion. hadn't considered that angle at all and it's very, very interesting. i haven't watched much of this content but the rigid us/them with the 'pickmeishas' is very strange/uncomfortable to me. i would love to see how some of these girlies act in a mixed group of regular, adult guys & girls socialising. this whole sub--genre is so complicated bc i think it has substantial capacity for shallow positive impact. some girls do need the push to leave that loser, and they don't always want to hear it from an in-person friend whose social positioning seems more complex than these alpha-feminine gurus. however, i'm not at all convinced that all (most?) of their 'standards' are realistic for an average-looking woman. i like that the genre seems to convey a hard-work-forward ethos, but then it veers off a cliff attributing that to the divine feminine and not old-fashioned elbow grease. anyway, thanks for this one!! more thinking needed.

[@Alltherestofus]

You’re so wise! It was nice reading your thoughts:)

[@02amelia]

@@Alltherestofus aw thank you! i love the conversations in these comment sections

[@once.upon.a.time.]

I think it's ok that their content isn't for everyone. I think there's an increasing narrative that if someone doesn't appeal to every audience, then their advice is bad. Manifestelle is specifically for spoiled girlies and she's said it's ok if that's not the lifestyle you want to live, but that's the community she wants to foster. And I've never got the impression from any of these women that they would treat other people who aren't like them in an impolite way. They often speak about manners and not being condescending and stuff like that.

[@02amelia]

@@once.upon.a.time. didn't intend to imply that they were mean girls! i actually would be more interested in how the 'pick me' dilemma affects their interactions w/ guys. absolutely people can make what they want at the end of the day, but this content does get pushed outside of their in-crowd, and they do use persuasive techniques to get new people to stick around, so i think it's worth being critical of the general messaging.

[@louiswho]

Suuuper interesting, I'm a guy but this is feels JUST like the spectrum of negatives and positives found "Redpill" content but just in a different flavor and language for women. Girly gurus: "stop being a pickme", "you can get what you want with a positive mindset and manifesting, don't settle for less" Redpill guys: "stop being a beta male", "you can get what you want if you are just confident and work really hard, don't be lazy and settle" in the negative Both basically say: "If it doesn't work for you, you didn't try hard enough" in the positive Both basically say: "advocate for yourself", "set boundaries for yourself and the treatment you'll tolerate from others", "believe in yourself, be confident" etc Both seem like they can be constructive ideologies if you apply them loosely and specifically for YOUR personal reality and environment, and negative when you start using how much someone adheres to the ideology as a barometer of comparison and judgement and then tribalism etc. There's nuance in all of it but its interesting to think about these movements/gurus coming out of some atheist/agnostic desire in the modern world for guidance that religion either hasn't kept up with or people find hard to apply to their real lives

[@brocksteele7475]

EXACTLY the vibe I get. It's just Alpha Male and Redpill content for girlbosses.

[@marte1376]

​@@brocksteele7475 lol these women do not want to be bosses, it is about being provided for.

[@marte1376]

so far some of them speak facts and I can understand why men will hate ladies wake up from their value. Honestly it is perfectly fine to relate to their content and have boundaries of what you do not want, if you dont believe in that, just pick your people, is it so hard

[@ecco401k]

It's also interesting that both the guru girlies and red pill alphas co-opt aspects of religion/spirituality, but only the ones that are most palatable to their audience. Guru girlies talk about the divine feminine, energy exchange, mantras. Aspects of eastern religions are fetishized. But never will they talk about Siddhartha giving up his life of luxury to live as a wandering ascetic, in his search for enlightenment. They skip over that part because it isn't marketable. Similarly for the red pill guys, they talk about how the west has strayed from religion and that is why it's on the decline. They'll use the parts of Christianity and Islam they like, mainly the ones that claim wives should be subservient to their husband. But they'll never talk about how the prophet Muhammad lived a simple life, often going without food for months and living off of water and dates. They don't talk about how Jesus loved all humans, even the outcasts in society such as lepers and prostitutes. Those parts aren't marketable enough, of course.

[@i.f.5566]

Thanks for your input. And also, women supporting positive and healthy men are called pick me’s or pickmeshas while men are called simps or white knights lol.

[@DormHouse]

I haven't manifested this video about the topic of Guru girlies (Manifestelle in particular), and yet here it is 😂 Excellent analysis, Kidology!

[@Vangluss]

As soon as I saw Manifestelle in your thumbnail, I prayed you would be ready to deal with her fans running interference for her. This online guru nonsense is fucking killing me, male, female, misogynist, misandrist, etc etc. People desperately looking for somebody to guide them in a scary, confusing world is a good market, I suppose.

[@oldchild527]

I suppose crazy fan here, I do like her videos and agree a lot with them in certain behavior that men have towards women, because even in family I have recognized the shit we go through, Elle is a complainer exactly as Kidology, it doesn't mean I hate all men nor I put women on a pedestal I just agree with her shit as well as I do with Kidology.

[@marte1376]

lol cry more. Manifestelle talks with facts behind her and lots of literature. I bet you are a man and hate the idea that women embrace their true beauty and take ourselves as important.

[@joyeetaghosh2209]

​@@oldchild527 would you like explain how kidology are complainers I also seen manifestelle videos she has great videos but there are certain points which don't sit right with me

[@there_she_is-s6i]

​@@joyeetaghosh2209 she always recommends her viewers to practice discernment and that everything has nuance.

[@42smash36]

sound like a misogynistic comment to me

[@hermenegildakociubinska6665]

My biggest problem with that whole manifestation thing is that it redirects your mental energy on some magical woo-woo bs, instead of researching and analysing how to achieve your goals in the most effective manner.

[@neuroisis85]

Every beautiful girl is a beauty guru! They were born that way, and us Ugos need to bow our heads and worship them.

[@grace.1123]

I don't know who the other women shown here are besides Elle (and assuming the algorithm recommended me this video because I'm subbed to her). From what you're showing us though, I don't know if she would really fall into the same category as these other women. She uses credible research and formative literature that addresses many of the issues she talks about in her videos to drive home her points, not just "I just worked on myself and manifested my dream life and now I'm a model who is super extroverted and living my best life!". Honestly when I first started watching her I also thought her views seemed fairly extreme but you'll start to pick up from her videos that she actually brings a lot of complex talking points to the table and actually very rarely uses her own life experiences to make a point/generalizations. She's very fact based IMO which is why I like to hear what she has to say.

[@lillanie125]

Right?? Like her god was a woman vid was pretty well researched. I rlly liked how in depth it was

[@alexl1938]

I 100% agree. I feel like the creators inclusion of Elle just shows she didn't actually go in depth in her content. Based on what she said in the beginning, I'm surprised she even had an hour of talking points after watching multiple creators for just a few days

[@purplelove3666]

​@@lillanie125God is not a woman, like ,can you guys improve in yourselves without having to commit blasphemy ,

[@lillanie125]

@@purplelove3666 my love, God is neither woman nor man. I am a born and raised roman catholic. I am refering to the title of the video. If you cannot read my comment correctly and think for yourself then maybe you should go back to kindergarten. I only have so much patience.

[@etcherdoodler]

@@lillanie125 I watched one of her videos and she and I quote said “if they aren’t worshipping you, they don’t exist” if that is not a perfect example of the egoism present with these guru girlies idk what is lol …. Then later in the video goes into how women are the source of good karma and nurturing and pouring into other women SPECIFICALLY women generates good karma ….. if that is not misandrist tiktok spirituality sweet nothings to appeal to the average girl that wants to feel special idk what is …also weirdly gender normed

[@MsSilverTulip]

It sounds like the messaging is: "Use your looks to be a golddigger, bestie". This is not a positive message, and reduces women's value to their looks.

[@maryanasky]

I like a lot of things you've said, but some stood out to me. One of them is Shame. You said something - we need shame to keep people in line. This is not a criticism, but a friendly offer to look up stats on shame. Shame didn't do any good to people, neither individually nor collectively. Many philosophers across the centuries thought we needed shame, but it's the opposite. We need to free ourselves from shame. We need empathy and understanding of why people feel the way they feel. So I just wanted to bring this up because many girls are watching and many look up to you. I believe we need to be careful about what we put out there because it impacts others. I love the book by Devon Price, "Unlearning Shame: How We Can Reject Self-Blame Culture and Reclaim Our Power".

[@shinkowest3852]

I love the spoiled girly support group, I barely watch podcasts but I’ll never miss a video from her ! But you do have to take everything with a grain of salt

[@sharpiemadness]

I’m a long-standing viewer of several of these “guru” channels as well as Kidology and I definitely see the merit in her perspective as well as the need for these women when it comes to women empowerment. Watching these manifestation and femininity gurus gave me tangible steps to be more positive and actually in touch with my softer side, something that wasn’t modeled in my upbringing. However i definitely agree that there are some mysandric underpinnings in many of the topics surrounding men that make me almost feel like dating is a waste of energy, seeing that I’m not fortunate enough to not need a man for their money and I’m a sensitive hopeless romantic that craves love and intimacy. In that way, I’ve had to look for other more middle ground content creators to help find a more nuanced way of looking at relationships to fit my personality better. Either way, really great critique of this topic that I haven’t seen discussed much, if at all, due to the backlash that comes with saying anything negative about the “girlies”.

[@cosnaukowego]

Its so interesting what you are saying about them. I have always felt like those guru girlies are fake but i couldnt answer why. Its fastinating for me the fact that you feel so anxious outside while you have so much knowledge about psychology, human behaviour.

[@felicitygreen3969]

Your experience with ordering that taxi is so outrageous! Hoping you got your money back. Sorry that happened to you. Super glad i found your videos! Your thoughts and voice are really engaging and you're a gorgeous person who deserves to feel safe and always respected! 💖

[@btuard]

I feel sorry for the girlies who think this video is attacking their favorite parasocially out of touch youtuber.

[@linucsx538]

I can’t fully express how much I love this video. You have a way of articulating your thought precisely which I have yet to learn. It helps me to no end to express myself when I talk to others about certain topics

[@Dii_22]

As long as they don't sell meaningless courses to us , we're good 😊

[@BalsamCX]

you have verbalized exactly the same criticisms I have with a lot of these videos and how Women having to conform to these specific standards for women, Bravo🎉

[@baddiesubs9]

Mae alice suzuki has been extremely upfront about the pretty privilege thing though so i wouldn’t throw her in with the other girlies, she offers great advice (they all do) and not the type of bestie andrew tate high value discourse. Let’s at least acknowledge that personal improvement content in general does help people ❤

[@ella.canna777]

I like to watch the "girlie gurus" because I like to feel as if I was the cool accepted girl I wanted to be back in my teenage years. It gives me a confidence boost, I don't agree with everything Elle or other girlies say, but I like the vibe. This content gives me a taste of the female friendships I wish I had.

[@i.f.5566]

You’re right. I never realized why I was so drawn to these types of girls until recently. It’s crazy how these feelings and thoughts we had in middle/high school affect us in our adult lives.

[@Mahilovestea]

Manifestelle is literally what our girlies need. She talks about every phenomenon which i really like.

[@gypsylee333]

I love the Asian girlie I forget her name but I'm subscribed. I definitely don't agree with everything she says, but I always learn something profound and important from her, lots of great nuggets in there that aren't usually discussed by women our age. I think her name is Manifestelle

[@smaliaamalia]

I was waiting for a video like this one. I did come across vidoes like these and I always found something strange about them but i wasn's sure what. The blatant acceptance of the capitalistic world we live in? Making the individual feel like the problem (or the men) but not the society? But i was put off with the massive support the creators got. Finally someone that analysed it and laid it out nicely. While i see some positive points to them, i think this mindset is just dangerous: putting the responsibiliy on the quality of life on the individual and not keeping in mind the state of the world, be it capitalism, racism, misogyny, homophobia etc. ❤

[@catcat9582]

I don't find manifestelle to be misandrist. She holds men to the standard we hold women to.

[@amanda_of_house_dracarys]

Agreed. She isn't like the sprinkle sprinkle lady.. she's calling out women to actually have standards

[@justze6710]

Biased opinions don't mean sh*t

[@jenn8767]

Can you imagine if men were held to the same standards, women can't even live their lives without men making it about them.

[@marte1376]

​@@amanda_of_house_dracarys jaja why do you hate the sprinkle sprinkle girlies. Shera is a mind blowing content creator, she is ruthless in her opinions and that is confident

[@amanda_of_house_dracarys]

@@marte1376 I don't hate her at all... in fact, I listen to her videos at Times & take bits and pieces of advice here and there. I am just saying they share different advice.