"Relationship Weight Gain": A deep dive into how weight gain is making us all single

[@KidologyCO]

Go to www.magicmind.com/kidology. KIDOLOGY20 gets you up to 48% off your first subscription for the next 10 days or 20% off for a one time purchase!

[@Cheyscrochetshop]

Just a reminder! Talk to your primary care provider before adding ashwagandha to your diet if you are already taking medications. It interacts with some diabetes and high blood pressure, medicines that decrease the immune system response (immunosuppressants), sedatives, anti-seizure medications (anticonvulsants), and thyroid hormone medications. Source- www.nccih.nih.gov/health/ashwagandha

[@ariannasaintjohn369]

I 100% appreciate your journalism skills. I didn't know about these statistics and most of us would have never even been educated about it otherwise. Your channel is a breath of fresh air when compared to other reaction channels where they're just talking about the lastest gossip and giving their opinion. This is similar to what you do but you honestly show all sides and it makes for engaging and entertaining story telling. Good job 🎉

[@ariannasaintjohn369]

And I love how you also list your sources and cite them. Most reaction you tubers do not provide this. I appreciate this ❤.

[@guerrita6878]

Pearl makes these insane blanket statement because she has no life experience. She doesn’t know what it’s like to be in an abusive relationship, have a stressful job, be pregnant, post partum, worry about paying your rent, breast feed, chronic stress, mental illness etc. All things that can make your body hold onto fat

[@seraphim108]

Her mother is rich and she seems to come from a quite comfortable lifestyle-- sometimes she talks like a 14 yr boy 😂I really do think she lacks life experiences. I grew up very sheltered and her responses to cat calling or being put on the spot reminds me of me when I was younger. It's actually a little bothersome.

[@nyssaarai1735]

She stays conveniently single for a woman who makes bold claims about what is a woman's job and value in a relationship don't you think? I'd like to see her practice what she preaches but we know that will never happen because she's just a grifter.

[@curiouskittenn]

idk what she is.. a pick me girl, her creepy views gain her popularity with men

[@elenacartagena1224]

She’s definitely a grifter, who is lucky she hasn’t run into anyone in the street looking to “keep it real” lol

[@shaniyehia8730]

the irony is she's fat herself

[@kittybimble2330]

Oh, to be seen as a human being and treated with compassion

[@hoked2194]

Same...

[@okene]

Why? Asking for something you don't give

[@aprilshowers3246]

@@okene what a cruel assumption

[@sinbalak3730]

yeah keep that same energy for ugly guys, bald guys, short guys...don't ask for something u never gave.

[@sinbalak3730]

yeah keep that same energy for bald men, ugly men, short men. Y'all chose to be overweight and you got a whole acceptance movement dedicated to you. Those men were born that way with no choice in the matter and all they receive is mocking and vitriol. So nah, don't ask for something you never gave 🥱.

[@_Eisley]

I can't believe pearl said there are some women who stay the same their entire marriage. Honey, no one stays the same. Both people, whether they like it or not, will change over the years. Did she forget that people age? Or must they stay 18 forever? Absolutely braindead.

[@ryanlewandowsky2077]

100% I even remember hearing years ago that people in close marriages end up looking more alike 40 years in vs unhappy couples or exes. Yeah only people who don’t change are dead so

[@Alisse.notavaliable]

My chemistry teacher to class full of girls: "Men marry and wish that years into the marriage the partner doesn't change." He meant look wise! I call bullshit! If you don't change (grow in personality) you are boring AF. And sometimes the growth your partner and you experience can break a relationship bechause it went into two different directions. But it dosn't mean it's bad!

[@saiyamoru]

There are women who don't 'change' as in they have plastic surgery and resort to extreme diets to keep their figure even well after they are in their 50's and their metabolism has demonstrably slowed. This is a really unrealistic standard to hold the general population to, though. I don't find it shocking, because they are generally women who were lauded for (and whose self-image came from) their appearance in their formative years. But it seems like so much extra work to maintain. At some point in our life, it should be okay to relax the standard - but there are genuinely men who think that it's a wife's duty to diet her entire life or else it's okay to let her go because she's 'let herself go'. Think about what that phrase really means.

[@kitkat261]

She spouts nothing but misogynistic bs, I'm pretty sure she thrives on ragebait.

[@solus8685]

She has approximately 2.3 brain cells, two of which are not working at all

[@Alex-cw3rz]

Aren't the same kind of men who want women to have more babies the ones now complainjng about weight gain, which is pretty natural consequence of having a child.

[@zuri236]

And then say they have to just put in the work to lose the weight but at the same time expect them to work full time, be a good mother, a good wife and an athlete apparently 🥴

[@ryancxe]

You’re expecting men to be logical about their conflicting desires/fantasies. Why would we expect that?

[@Skywohka]

where on earth are you getting you made up delulu schizoid statistics?

[@sangdy]

@@zuri236They don’t even be providing fully for women to be doing all that. Crazy.

[@be.A.b]

They literally believe human bodies are most ideal under peak Olympian physicality at all time 😂

[@Blaineji]

I haven’t finished the video yet but I find it so ridiculous just how mentally online some of these “alpha male” podcast bros are. Like… do they never step foot outside and see REAL people in relationships? The majority of the time the man isn’t a 0% body fat, jacked millionaire with a model bombshell wife; they’re just normal people who go to work everyday like the rest of us. Being a 10/10 isn’t required to have a partner. I don’t know where that idea started from except for maybe incel communities that have turned into mainstream looksmaxxing content🤦

[@victorshopov4913]

It's not a surprise they are like this when the only people they interact with or give any attention to are onlyfans models or other alpha bros. All they care about is women they find sexually attractive and other men that they think are more "alpha" than they are so they can somewhat absorb the alpha-ness by just being around them. I've seen so many men like this it's actually such a pathetic way to live.

[@itwasriggedfromthestart9520]

Of course they're not having 0% body fat, otherwise they would be dead

[@twiggledowntown3564]

Also to be 0% body fat, is incredibly impossible.

[@Merle1987]

When theories conflict with reality, they choose theories. Which is funny, because they accuse their opponents of being ideologically driven to a fault.

[@Empathy-and-resilience]

You literally just wrote down my exact thoughts lol

[@mu3191]

I don’t understand why some people are so obsessed with bigger bodies. Like we get it bro, you’re not attracted to fat women. Why are making a whole podcast about it lol

[@catcat2607]

Because they’re secretly super into it.

[@Karrokick]

@@catcat2607AGREED the loudest hater wants it the most and it’s self hate and projection

[@lavellans]

Maybe they hate their lack of confidence to not obtain it without crying inside about what their “bros” might say. No one who really hates you is clocking you that hard. Otherwise, it’s an outlet for them actually hating themselves.

[@catcat2607]

@@crimesguy I would bet you don’t keep that same energy when talking about smokers, people with drug dependencies, orthorexics, people who don’t get good sleep, etc.

[@peachesandcream22]

@@crimesguy "Comments you can smell" Says a person who definitely showers once a week and never touches grass😂

[@Kyrinax]

As a woman, I have gained and lost weight in every relationship I have ever had (3 in total). This has never been an issue for any of the partners I have had.

[@DuchessTheAristocat]

Yeah. My weight fluctuates no matter if i am single or in relationship lol. It's just a part or my life. Just like i sometimes get sick no matter of my dating status.

[@savanahh2848]

for me it’s only been an issue with one partner, and clearly that relationship didn’t last! but i personally never cared when my partners weight fluctuated. in fact, i love a little chub on my partners, man or woman. most of the long term relationships i’ve been in have also shown lots of love to my chub, and i don’t even have a lot of it. at the end of the day, it’s not that hard to be accepting and loving of who you’re with no matter their weight. i don’t understand how some people can’t grasp that concept!

[@zuri236]

​@ville__red piller detected

[@noyjspoopy1564]

@ville__bro what

[@ryancxe]

⁠@@savanahh2848it’s not a concept, in order to feel something for a person, they need to feel some attraction. When there is no attraction, there is no feeling, you are just friends. The vast majority of people are built with this visual aspect forced on them and they have no choice in the matter and they need to feel physical attraction to their partner in order to feel anything for them. Does it make sense now?

[@highonlife341]

Why the fuck does Pearl always act like "taking the man's perspective" just means "talking over the nearest man in the room who actually has a thought-out opinion and not letting him answer the absolutely goaded question she has prepared for him"

[@blacksocrates1]

Men aren't allowed to have any opinions that go contrary to what women want. Isn't that obvious?

[@GlasPthalocyanine]

I haven't seen much of Pearl's content. The wierd thing is that men really don't seem to be that into her. The body language of this particular man is that he seems to be crawling up the back of his chair in an attempt to get away from her. That's so odd for someone who claims to understand men better than other women. I'd guess that most women would have nothing to say to her, either.

[@zabi_aka]

She enraged me so much. The guy seemed to have something insightful to say, but she kept yelling 🤦🤦🤦

[@mariabrown6926]

​@ville__ you first

[@salsadip7453]

@@zabi_akait was insufferable to watch, no manners to be found

[@RamenzillaX]

As a gay, I can confirm it's brutal out here in the image department. You're never good enough and your "beauty" (really, your body) is the biggest currency you have in the market. The pressure to conform to stand a chance is major. (I also resent the idea that we all have perfect bodies, UM - not all of us are models - those are just the ones that get any attention, lol).

[@blacksocrates1]

Ummmm isn't being gay an identity primarily based on one's primal sexual desires? For instance, heterosexual must contend with the idea that their union will yield children and this weighs into their mate selection. I doubt gay people think the same about dating.

[@user-sg4ov7ng4h]

@@blacksocrates1 how do hetero men think about making children? they don't care bro, if they did they'd stay with their children to guarantee them a better upbringing, if they did they wouldn't sleep around and cheat (without having children) if that's the case, can we say lesbians date women because men don't provide well, in terms of safety etc? it's barely biological anymore, it's environmental. (not talking about the sexuality obv lol, even thought i'd love to see more studies on sexuality)

[@RamenzillaX]

@ville__ only if you promise to go first 😘

[@arol1644]

beauty and youth

[@ryancxe]

Smart man

[@Blaineji]

Also, a TikTok I saw recently where a chubbier guy was doing an outfit try-on, had hundreds of women in the comments thirsting after him. Meanwhile all the guys commented that he needs to hit the gym or he’ll never find a girl. (he wasn’t even at an unhealthy weight either!) Like my brother, do you not see all the women in the comments rn? 😂 I feel like so much of the standard for what women want is created by men.

[@YounhaMizuki]

Lol, I saw that too! They were real bitter and telling all the women it wasn’t true! 😂

[@Epicalover99]

No, it's evolution to like someone fitter for both. Obesity is a modern concept and so is the loneliness epidemic.

[@Fyzyx]

Link please?

[@Darth_Bateman]

. . . . . .Buddy, listen. . . . . Most women will say : "She is so pretty." regarding Lizzo. But if you ever told a woman : "Anyone ever tell you that you look like Lizzo?" She'd cry or get upset with you, and rightfully so.

[@Darth_Bateman]

@@YounhaMizuki Lady, I saw a TikTok of a chubby guy who wasn't bad looking talking about how he met a girl on a date and she said : "Oh let's drive to a different spot." but in different cars, sped up and then left him behind. That guy was on the verge of tears asking if he was really that ugly? He wasn't, and those women were scumbags, but he's not the only one. The message here is clear.

[@jordanhancock279]

Men like that will trade you in in a heartbeat. They don’t truly love you. Best to let them go ruin someone else’s life. Beauty doesn’t last forever, at least on the outside.

[@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise]

Most love is conditional in my opinion, except familial love

[@badge5575]

​@@LondonMoneyCashEnterpriseeven family love is conditional

[@okene]

Vast majority of us are like that🥰

[@sinbalak3730]

you could say the same about most humans in general. I've seen plenty of relationships where the woman left the man once the money stopped coming in. Same concept as what you're describing. Romance has always been conditional. It's almost an insult to call it love. At best it's transactional infatuation.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

​@sinbalak3730 And when women get cancer men bail out as well.

[@DenaliTheAdventuress]

I have had the opposite experiences. As a heterosexual woman, when I am in relationship I tend to lean out. I think it is because I feel safer. However, I have had mixed reactions. My last partner did not want me to lose weight. First it because he was afraid of me getting “skinny”, then he claimed he would be disappointed if my breasts go smaller, later it seemed he disliked seeing my muscles show through less body fat… My ex before seemed bewildered and jealous that I was “getting hotter” as we dated. My desire to continue to change and grow(including reshaping my body) was so against what he expected, he began to get controlling; sabotaging my training and encouraging me to eat in excess. They are my exes for these reasons among others. However, I can’t help but feel like no matter what I do, insecure men with fixate on my body. “Good” or “bad”, “hotter” or “letting myself go”, I would not have been able to please them.

[@deepwaters7242]

I hear you!!! I'm large now and my man isn't attracted to skinny girls but I really miss my muscles and hiking adventures. I've attracted several feeders, and I think the weight made them feel more secure.

[@haileyt857]

It was definitely you feeling safe. I was in 4 dating relationships and always gained about 15 pounds each time. They stressed me out so damned much and I never felt safe. I'd imagine if I were to finally be with someone that made me feel safe, I'd feel inspired to be my healthiest and be more fit.

[@starzies]

Jesus, those experiences you've detailed are creepy has hell. I'm glad this guys are exes now, wishing you much luck and health.

[@craigwaltoncodes7173]

Most men like soft bodies to a degree, especially If a woman has a shape, there is a point where most men would find her hotter if she doesn't get leaner. I dont know many men who have ever said whoa dude look at her abs, not even in the locker room. Most men dont even care to see abs. Hollywood standards and mens actual standards are different. I had white friends tell me they where worried about their girl losing her chest and black guys worried about their girls losing their butt so its not always insecurity. A lot of guys like soft but healthy bodies within a range. Either way though if a guy is really about you he will prioritize your health including mental health and support you in a way that builds you up to improve the relationship so there is that.

[@moshiachgirlie]

As a not-fat-but-not-thin teenager, my experience was always the opposite. So many of the guys in my high school, college, and work friend groups found girlfriends even if they were overweight or not conventionally attractive. It was kind of the biggest frustration of my entire life and the main reason I hated myself- I was too fat and too average looking for a boyfriend. As an overweight adult, I've found it's even more true. I truly thought I was never going to get married because "only thin pretty girls get any attention". The incel argument has always left me befuddled because it was so contrary to my experiences, especially because I truly, truly would have dated anyone who had a pulse and an IQ over 75. (I'm now married, but we were friends for over a year before dating and I had to profess my romantic feelings first.) I was never hit on in a bar, never cat called, never asked to a dance, never approached by a stranger. Never went on a date after 11th grade and of the 4-5 "dates" I had, all were a one-off that led nowhere. Anyway I don't mean to vent. But hearing you explain how these men think that women "have it made" and women can be fat "and have any man they want" is like so mind boggling its offensive.

[@TheDarkLasombra]

When incels say that, they mean "women can get dick no matter what they look like" because what they view as success is being able to have sex, since that is what they fail at currently. They aren't wrong, but they are focused on something different.

[@_Eisley]

I've been in a cycle of weight gain and loss from an eating disorder ever since I was young, and I've noticed a pattern of guys only paying attention to me when I'm thin. It's a bit depressing, but what can you do. People in general are more attracted to healthy looking bodies (even if they may not technically be healthy), it's how most men are wired because women who look healthy are more likely to reproduce. I don't hold it against them, because you like what you like.

[@MeganMikkelsen6037]

Technically any woman can get a bf, but she really has to humilate herself and put up with a lot of bs if she isnt just "regular ugly".

[@audreymuzingo933]

@@_Eisley That last thing you said there ..... apologies but it is so false and 'red pill'. It's straight from the likes of Jordan Peterson, who (despite not being a biologist, which I am, incidentally) loves to inject biology "talk" into his Judeo-Christian assertions about men and women. But it's not just him and he wasn't the first. This concept of relationship behaviors being shaped by survival and reproductive instincts, how they allegedly go back to the cavemen, this has been around for a while; he's just the most vocal and political about it. In any case, it's absurd. When humans DID assign reporoductive fitness to women according to body size, it was back when pregnancy and childbirth survival was much less guaranteed than it is now. And what made it safer was "big birthing hips." -If you look at ancient standards of beauty, it was larger women, even downright fat ones, who were regarded as the model of fertility, and therefore the most desirable for marriage. Nowadays, at least in places with modern medicine, a woman of any size is likely to carry and deliver a baby safely. Also .... do you realize LOTS OF GUYS DON'T WANT CHILDREN? But even those that do want children can't possibly look at a rail-thin woman and think "Now there's a gestational vessel!" Come on man.

[@VerminaeSupremacy]

Hiya! Had pretty much the same experience in life, except I was also bullied (physically, violently) and then grew up to be dorky local know-it-all with weird childish interests as a teen. Kissless till the age of 18, didn’t date anyone till 20. I had to make drunk first moves half the times I started relationships. They mostly worked smooth once kicked off, but almost every single of my boyfriends marveled after a little while how I was a good friend and funny and smart, but completely walled off sexually to their perception despite talking frankly about intimate issues others shy away from. I was always perceived as too busy doing my own thing and too treasured a friend to lose in case hypothetical advances turned out to be unwanted. And clever and self-aware nerdy bf material needed pretty straightforward inspiration to start courtship. Worked out just fine in the end. In the end, three digit IQ as well as being terribly mid in looks department might be a blessing in disguise if wild ride and catcalling is not something that you want, but youth is hard to brave while you feel broken and useless in society and haven’t figured your own shtick.

[@ayamempress1579]

As a big girl whose always been big but now losing weight in the last year.... weight has never been an issue for my partners, however the last guy I dated would hear me talk about being in transition to change my lifestyle so I could lose weight and he would try and push food in my mouth like it was cute. He was basically trying to make me gain weight and get me pregnant. I'm happily single, openly childfree and 37kg down so far and counting... 15kg-ish to go 🎉🎉🎉

[@zuri236]

Congratulation for escaping this man! I think it's hurtful if you try to change your lifestyle for the better but apparently the partner wants to keep you in the same spot! And on top of that he wanted to get you pregnant, chile... 🤦🏾‍♀️ You dodged a bullet

[@lulul0l039]

I apploud you, it's awful to deal sabotaging snake. I bet he loved poking fun of you when you were heavier, but then still wasn't pleased when you wanted to feel more comfortable in your body. Thank you for choosing yourself

[@Autumn-eg2nj]

Same thing here. I have had several men say "well don't lose too much weight, i like my girls thick" and I have to tell them, there has never been a time that I was not "thick" but I would like to lose some weight and eat healthier to feel better and have less back pain. Its not all about your sexual appetite dude stfu. If you really loved me, you would love me in whatever body i am in. I also dumped them and am living my life fore me 🧡 good things our brains are big too 😂

[@karayanw.4015]

Self fullfilling prophecy. He feared to lose you, to the point of trying to baby trap you. So scary.

[@etcwhatever]

Congratulations. I lost 23kgs. ❤

[@marim5620]

I wish pearl would shut up because that guy she was talking to actually had something to say. She’s so bad at talking to people.

[@prouddegenerates9056]

She’s a shock value brand in a niche, but loyal market. Being outrageous is sorta the point

[@-Eliza06]

That’s because she doesn’t talk TO people, she talks AT people. What’s funny is, she’ll never be chosen by the men she is trying to cater to because she doesn’t fit the ideal traditional woman.

[@user-lt1jd1ye3v]

We are an entire society of people comparing ourselves to our 18 year old bodies and because we don’t meet that standard at 32, crucifying ourselves for it

[@timekeeper2538]

I literally look better and more fit now than when I was 18 lol, either I have biologically superior genes or you're lazy and coping.

[@metoo3342]

Weight gain has nothing to do with age its just a consequence of your caloric intake

[@etcwhatever]

​​@@metoo3342actually it does. Metabolism slows down with age which means you have to eat less and less calories as you age. Which isnt really feasible for many people.

[@metoo3342]

@@etcwhatever Metabolism is stable till your mid 60s and then it very slowly lowers off but even then it's not sudden. Only teens and children have higher metabolisms.

[@LaïlaJeann]

@@metoo3342 lol maybe learn about menopause

[@cringe_aegyo]

As a woman the most important thing in a man for me is their character. Women want gentle, understanding and supportive relationships, not whatever those alpha males are saying. We honestly need someone who will stand with us through rough days and be competent in house chores etc. It’s not that much to ask for

[@heyizz]

Honestly. These repulsive creatures are closer to apes than men to me. I would rather stay single forever than get married to anything like..... that. Thankfully, there are intelligent, gentle men in this world, unfortunately more rare but they still exist ❤

[@timekeeper2538]

The realm of sex and dating tells a very different story, this isn't your opinion as a woman it's your opinion as YOU.

[@TiktokBro154]

@@timekeeper2538 Exactly

[@diandriasmith889]

I agree with what you said. I think social media is making people a bit loopy in real life.

[@emptyshogun]

Can we please stop the myth that women don't also have shallow primary desires for men before the secondary more important parts? It really doesn't help men but just builds resentment when they find out that it's obviously not true.

[@venusvicious4446]

I really used to think that only fat girls had it bad but once i got my head out of my own a- i could see how women of all shapes and sizes are getting the same treatment. Men don’t treat thin women better, i watch thin women get ripped apart the second they gain 1 pound in their belly, they get cheated on too sometimes even with the fat girl, they get abused and taken advantage of no less than fat women so why compete? Why be jealous? Why hate myself if being fat my whole life never stopped me from doing everything I wanted to do. This body has taken me so many places, I’ll be damned to be ungrateful. Fat people know they’re fat, fat doesn’t mean ugly or undesirable and fat chicks and dudes need love too. Been in my relationship for almost 1 year now, we have gained weight but I don’t stress about it. I tell him when we’re ready to buckle down we will but let’s just love each other now. I’m not worried about who else finds me attractive, I got who I need.

[@Cremesure12]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@timekeeper2538]

You're being ungrateful by not taking care of it.

[@venusvicious4446]

@@timekeeper2538 I almost shared too much of my business on here but I wont. Instead I’ll say, you’ll stress less if you worry about your own body instead of everyone else’s. That goes for everyone in this conversation, worry about your own weight. You don’t know where that person is in their journey so to avoid being loud & wrong it’s best to just mind your own weight.

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

Thinking the same thing.. Pretty women get treated more better or something like that but honestly it depends on the parter, sure a pretty skinny girl will get treated better in the starting but if the partner is bad then he will start @busing her no matter how hot she is. Adrimma Lima ( spelled name wrong) is a supermodel yet she got cheated on and her husband cheated on her with a stripper.. Like it's crazy supermodels also get cheated and used

[@joannasekua6273]

Thin women don't get discriminated against by employers and doctors

[@howaboutnooo00]

kid you deserve a medal for watching those incel podcasts and pearl davis, you're stronger than the troops

[@bannedmann4469]

No that’s lazy, low hanging fruit. There are less sensational manosphere creators out there. But that would hurt her narrative. Not even people in the middle like Hoe Math.

[@Alex-cw3rz]

Whatever you think of James Corden he had a great comment about bullying fat people. "If bullying fat people worked I'd have a six pack by now"

[@ryancxe]

he is rich and famous, probably got everything he ever wanted, is he a good example?

[@just1desi]

He's a bully and very "molesty" on camera with guests. I don't feel sorry for him.

[@Alex-cw3rz]

@@just1desi where did I say feel sorry for him, I said his quote is true.

[@Alex-cw3rz]

@@ryancxe yeah because he gets everything he wants, such as trainers other medication and is bullied for his weight much more because of his notoriety and still can't drop the weight.

[@TheRockerX]

He sounds like a "perpetual victim" type

[@josephvlogsdon]

If you’re in a longterm relationship with someone, their weight will obviously fluctuate throughout the relationship. My weight constantly goes up and down depending on the year and what’s going on in my life. It’s incredibly superficial to dump someone because they gained a few pounds, and no one can live up to that standard. Given the current American diet, it’s almost impossible to not be at least slightly overweight. I do think morbid obesity is a problem. If someone is severely obese and doesn’t want to do anything about it, that’s a different issue, but I personally prefer faces over bodies. A person’s face, especially their eyes, will remain relatively the same throughout their life, but their weight will not.

[@okaight7248]

With understanding and agreeing with most of what you said: why is the American diet as the reason for overweight a factor? There is an individuals choice to make better decisions even in the American diet, even if you ate fast food everyday.

[@josephvlogsdon]

@@okaight7248 Because most food has hidden sugars and fats that lead to weight gain, even food that that is considered “healthy.” It requires a great amount of diligence and research in order to maintain one’s weight longterm, and given the stressful lives many Americans lead, such discipline is very difficult to sustain, which is why even fitness models and actors will fall off the wagon here and there.

[@Ineverusemychannel]

@@josephvlogsdonNot to mention the intentional lack of nutritional education. Private companies lobby our federal representatives and influence laws regarding transparency and health standards across all industries. We also have an issue with access to healthy food geographically with lower income areas often experiencing food desert conditions. They don’t have access to it even if they want it!

[@okaight7248]

​@@josephvlogsdon I understand that it's cheap and readily available. While it does take diligence, so does any other important facet of life that needs to be accomplished. It's important to keep your body running well especially if you're constantly working and stressed, and forced to eat trash food. A bean burrito at Taco Bell, chicken sandwich, nuts from the gas station; it's much simpler and cheaper than you think. It's not about the aesthetics of weight (although it does motivate) but more importantly about someone doing what they can, when they can, to take care of their mental and physical health which are directly correlated. I understand and empathize with the difficulty of navigating weight as I have similar rooted societal insecurities. At the same time I do not think the thing to do is to be defeatist, intellectualize defeatism, and allow ourselves to just let whatever happen. We gotta break the cycle and take care of ourselves.

[@destinyelle7120]

You had me til “given the current American diet…”. That’s such a bell out, people choose to eat 5 times a day and eat junk. As a low income female living by herself, I save money on food compared to my peers. I don’t eat a lot, don’t have the money too regardless but I’m at a healthy weight at 5’4.

[@elinat2414]

This is kinda why I'm glad I was at my heaviest when I met my now husband, tbh. He found me attractive then, and now that I've lost some weight, he still finds me attractive. I've heard of sooo many women that met their significant other when they were a 21 year college cheerleader in perfect shape (or something similar)....only for him to cheat on her and/or dump her because she cannot maintain the same shape after 10 years and 2 kids. I understand that men are allowed to have preferences. However, any man that cannot abide a woman's body changing over the course of a relationship and wants nothing but perfection is really not worth dating/marrying. Men like that tend to be emotionally immature in other areas, and value women mainly for their hotness and nothing else.

[@timekeeper2538]

Look sex is something you have to earn even when married, many couples stop being intimate because they realize their partner doesn't care about being gross and out of shape.

[@tracer4322]

I totally agree with this. These men who complain about their wives gaining weight after having kids or justify cheating make me wonder why they got married in the first place. Obviously not for love.

[@elinat2414]

@@timekeeper2538 There is a big spectrum of body shapes and sizes that exist between having a a body with zero excess fat (like athletes) and being gross and out of shape. If a man can't handle something that most normal women have (stuff like cellulite or a belly that isn't perfectly flat), then either you are not yet mature enough to be in a serious relationship OR you need to get off social media, because your expectations just aren't realistic.

[@elinat2414]

@@tracer4322 Exactly! Men like that owe it to women to not get into long term relationship and/or have babies. They are better off just hooking up with whichever woman will have them, because they are not mentally mature enough for anything beyond a hookup.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

That Bebe Rexha text was rough....it's clear her insecurities are eating up her ability to enjoy life and trust the world

[@liamwacey807]

If I didn't have dysmorphia I wouldn't have abs. However that's just a joke to cover up the fact that truly my value is inextricably linked in my mind to my physical appearance. As for others, I think it's insane that we built a capitalist society which provides people with the cheapest, lowest quality food in order to maximize profits, work them the maximum amount in which keeps them burned out, and then demand that they also conform to beauty standards. Once again the issue is, at its heart, capitalism.

[@elinat2414]

You are right! While I agree it's ultimately diet is the responsibility of the individual...it is true that we live in an obesinogenic society where it's EASIER to get fat and stay there. Most people that are thin as adults are actively RESISTING the tide of unhealthy food (by meal prepping, eating small portions, counting calories etc). The capitalist food landscape, with its focus on making food as tasty as possible, makes being fat truly the path of least resistance.

[@TheRockerX]

There's nothing wrong with valuing physical appearance, especially if you work hard to achieve/maintain it. It's weird that people are starting to feel a weird sense of shame in admitting they value being in shape.

[@breannathompson9094]

I agree, even when it comes to childhood trauma causing eating disorders often capitalism has parts in that too, where parents are working too much and end up abusive or just buy fast food every night because they dont get a break for dinner. I swear capitalism plays a part in nearly every problem when it comes to our health.

[@breannathompson9094]

​@@TheRockerXdude its not that people dont value it, but the fact that if you arent "perfect" people feel like literal shit on the bottom of your shoe. A lot of people are treated a lot differently when they are just fit vs thin vs in shape, which are all different levels. He is saying he has to BE fit not just thin or healthy or he feels extremely like shit.

[@nebeskyranc]

I think it's also important to consider what "thin", "fit" and "fat" means for us because I feel like many people have quite unrealistic and unhealthy understandings of them. Women naturally have more fat and as we age, we simply cannot, and should not, look like we did in our teens or in our 20s. I have to say, though, I just love seeing the red pill guys having breakdowns over women not being their imagined ideals and, additionally, not willing to put up with their bs. These men will do anything but respect a woman and then be shocked women opt out of relationships with men.

[@milkflavored]

Thank you for saying this. As someone getting older, who still looks a little younger (babyface), I've been reminding myself that I'm not expected to look how I did in my teens/20s, my entire life. Can I do better? Certainly. But if someone's going to be an asshole because I'm not wearing Skims every time I leave the house, they can kick rocks. I'm still going to happily exist in their vicinity.

[@seraphim108]

Yeah, it's really hard to talk about body types BECAUSE people have such different definitions of "fat" and "thin". In China, I've seen borderline underweight models be considered plus size, (think 105-110ish lbs) It's crazy, meanwhile when other people talk about fat, they explicitly mean morbidly obese. When some talk about "fit" they just mean healthy, when others talk about "fit" they mean 6 pack abs, ripped, in the best shape of their life😂

[@DJPoundPuppy]

​@@seraphim108 This is a common problem with language.

[@breannathompson9094]

Honestly yeah, i actually got to a healthy weight this year and my fam has always been all overweight and my mom compared me to a genuinely anorexic woman... that was so offensive for me and her.

[@lyndsaybrown8471]

Isn't Fresh and Fit no longer on air?

[@Devinci297]

Before you tell someone "I love you" imagine if you would still do if they were + or - 50 pounds, if they were disfigured, handicaped, if they suddenly couldn't have children (if you wanted to), if they suddenly lost their jobs for a while, etc.

[@ryancxe]

now you have to make an argument for why what you think is important for a relationship is more important than physical attraction or ability to have children

[@ukchanak]

​@@ryancxeno they don't. If you can't love them without those things, it's not love. It's just infatuation

[@ryancxe]

@@ukchanak they do, the basis of love is feeling something for someone. If ‘you can’t love them without these things’, then there are other things that you love them for, so name them

[@clawwestfall8799]

With - 50 lbs, I'd literally not be alive and many fit women as well 🤡

[@Jaylade]

can we all just be honest and say love is conditional?

[@diliseamullins7660]

Why do they gotta pretend that no one thinks big people are attractive because They dont?

[@kirby7475]

I genuinely think they're not even pretending. They just can't imagine liking something that they don't like themselves.

[@be.A.b]

Im not even convinced they don’t find them attractive. I think they just find them socially unacceptable as dating partners.

[@mochipugbug]

Exactly. The whole argument of "b b but fat women can get men, fat men can't get women!" Okay?? So complain to your fellow men that they are attracted to big women?

[@tinycatfromhell]

@@mochipugbug Right? They always give their pathetic sob story to the wrong people. "Women go for the tallest, most handsome guys and that makes me mad!" Then go be mad at the men getting all the women or something dude, idk.

[@chickenandksivideoreviewer9739]

​@@mochipugbugI feel like the opposite it true

[@bonechara]

dealing with body dysmorphia as a gay man feels futile when everywhere you look it is reinforced. self hatred comes as naturally as breathing. its part of you, you always know its there and influencing every decision. then you are validated for it, and it feels good. too good. it is inexorable

[@Definitelynotabot4]

Why is it like that though?

[@LaïlaJeann]

How so ? Sounds a bit like when I struggled with an ed to be thin as a woman

[@breannathompson9094]

I do feel bad for gay guys, cuz at least straight guys DO put on an act to hide or try to be "nicer" about body standards, with gay guys its just alllll men. They dont have to hide any ruthlessness to attract the woman cuz they are just looking for other guys and dont give a F.

[@Empathy-and-resilience]

In my long term ab*sive relationship, I fluctuated a lot with my weight. I had multiple EDs and went to my lowest adult weight, and when in recovery for an ED, I gained weight in pregnancy and because of health and mental health issues, had a hard time getting the weight off because of the ab*se. After my divorce, I started dating a few months later and lost weight from stress. Then when I got into a healthy relationship, I gained weight from birth control 😂 got off birth control and am finally losing the weight, but it’s so wild to me that internet people view this in such a black and white way as if everyone is in the same. Weight fluctuates with hormones and stages of life. The importance is health-physical health, mental health, and a healthy relationship. I was my most unhealthy at my lowest weight and also unhealthy when I was at my highest because I was unable to exercise. Why can’t we find a middle ground of eating Whole Foods, being active, and understanding everyone’s body is going to look different even if we do the same thing?!

[@stavrosalexopoulos1817]

Great comment. I couldn't agree more. Exercising works different for every individual, as far as appearances go, but the fundamentals remain the same. The simplest way to describe it in my opinion is that a mobile body is more likely to be healthy, and by investing in muscle hypertrophy instead of just losing weight and trying to be extra lean is a way better solution to achieve that. As far as aesthetics go it is a personal choice what part of your body you want to work the most. The important thing is not how you look but that you have a goal of improving your physical self. That's a commendable relationship anyone can have with their body in my humble opinion.

[@movingdragons]

You can start being healthy at every size. It's important to know that no one is too far gone to turn it around and every little bit matters. If you ate a fruit and walked around the block today, that's a win! Someone needed to hear this today.

[@menthol1234]

You can't be healthy at 250+ pounds lol. Stop coping

[@movingdragons]

@@menthol1234 Yes you can. 250lbs is not that heavy for people over 6 ft. The real problem is visceral fat not subcutaneous fat and muscle. People can easily get up to 250lbs by being weight lifters.

[@jamiegibsn7543]

@@menthol1234 you don't know what coping means.

[@roflstomplolmao]

I’m a gay man, and the reason we are so afraid of losing our physique and caring so much about it is because we are men as well. We understand how important it is to men.

[@biancag1554]

Why is it so important for I truly cannot understand the obsession with other people's bodies.

[@roflstomplolmao]

@@biancag1554 because sex and/or status

[@biancag1554]

@@roflstomplolmao such superficial way of thought honestly having a healthy body is the base line for me. Having a "good" looking body is just an after thought.

[@roflstomplolmao]

@@biancag1554 it’s not superficial, it’s human nature.

[@DevletGM]

Nonsense.

[@xXNekou]

I'm sorry, but if the weight gain of your partner is the most important thing for you, more important than their love, uniqueness, personality, skills etc, then you should really go sit and have a think what priorities you have in your life and why

[@craigrodriguez8384]

Health is a priority.

[@clawwestfall8799]

Weight gain is a symptom of not taking care of each other and not prioritizing health... Weather it's due to laziness or current hard life situation.

[@manbha6817]

love is conditional

[@xXNekou]

@@mjesns77 hygiene and weight are two different things though. weight gain/loss can be out of their control, could be genetics, or hormonal, or psychological, while bad hygiene would be much easier and quicker to fix

[@RandomAnything-su5wf]

this touches on a major benefit of long-term relationships, that being that when you are with someone for a long time the aging process, including the normal weight gain is so gradual that its hardly perceptible. I also feel like our brains do a little bit of trickery that keeps us aware of the person beneath the years despite how dramatically different we might look objectively. of course, this assumes a reasonably healthy relationship since people can alienate each other without a change to their looks. that being said I do think that people who have committed to being someone's partner for life have a responsibility to their partner to maintain their health. which means that if their weight becomes a significant risk to their health, they have a responsibility to their partner to address it.

[@celestialmorpho]

It is quite embarrassing that she shared that text thinking she was in the right. Even more embarrassing that people sent hate to the guy that simply answered a question she asked.

[@clairecunningham1271]

right he actually did seem to care about her and i’d much rather a partner be honest than hide how they really feel

[@beewest5704]

And it is such a violation of their relationship. She posted his msg as revenge. Ppl have different relationship but I like one where we can be honest even about the brutal , " hurtful" things. If I ask a question its not a trap cause I want honest loving answer ( which he gave IMO) I'm not attracted to bigger ppl & I will feel less attracted to my partner if they gain an amount of weight that changes their looks or influences the activities we do. I will also still love him. I need to be able to talk to him about it. I know that is not the relationship many want. They just want to be lied too to be loved.

[@TheSmily4ever]

​@@beewest5704and what about weight gain due to health issues or as a after effect from medication? a reason to say bye?

[@celestialmorpho]

@@TheSmily4ever He didn’t seem like he wanted to leave Bebe. He said he still loved her. But even weight gain due to medication can be mitigated with diet. Her health issue can be bettered with diet. Cut out all carbs and add more fats. It’s healthy for a woman’s hormones. Get off of birth control.

[@TheSmily4ever]

@@celestialmorpho are you an expert on it when it comes to weight gain due to medication or other health related issues? is this a professional reference or what?

[@SilverDan10]

Kids been FEEDING us content recently ! 😍

[@JennyNobody]

Ngl i always gain weight when I enter a relationship. Partially because I usually am working out harder when single (revenge body, more time, wanting to look super hot for the opposite sex lol) Also dudes eat SO MUCH and many more calorie dense foods than I do when single so when I start eating with them like... duh... im gonna get a little fat. My husband met me when I was a fairly shredded 115lb im 145lb now and he loves my body just the same (maybe even more, than man loves a good jiggle haha)

[@Dseated]

The women in my life are sweet, caring, supportive and encouraging. I love you all. Thanks for the video

[@LOVINGK9Z]

Not sure what the difference has been, but you seemed so much happier and into this video than I feel you've felt in the last few. Watching you be a little more playful and crack jokes was really nice :') Wonderful work as always!

[@btdtpro]

Here's my evo-psy theory on relationship weight gain. For most of human history we didn't have birth control and we didn't have the level of food certainty that we have today. People in a long term relationship become very likely to have children in a world without birth control, so the couple starts storing calories in their body when they can so that if a food shortage happens, they can focus on letting the children have food since calorie deficits are more impactful if they occur during your developmental years. This is extra true in a world that didn't have baby formula as well. Women burn around 500 cal a day just from breast feeding, thus storing up extra calories was probably a winning survival strategy. All this was true in most cases till about the last 200 years, so we still have the instincts to start storing calories when we find a partner. Also see: sympathy eating, where men eat more during his partner's pregnancy.

[@user-wp1dn7fd9w]

As a biologist, I love your perspective! Evolution takes time and it’s longer than our inventions and our lifestyle changes as a species! Pregnancy and childbirth would still be d3adly without proper care cause we haven’t evolved enough yet! This is the smartest and most logic comment I’ve read about it! Let’s add consumerism and a more sedentary life to the equation and we can cover majority of the reasons (excluding medications or hormonal syndromes)

[@vivvy_0]

love to learn new things, thanks fellas

[@glowson3844]

Honestly the sunglasses are such a good look on you lol

[@madelyn8460]

I think everyone deserves to have a partner they are attracted to, but that doesn’t look the same to every person, and it also doesn’t look the same to one person at all times. My partner has lost and gained weight and he is still the most attractive person on earth. We both agreed to stay in shape for each other.

[@gingeralice3858]

The men into 16vs26 and the men who hate fat women with a burning passion are the same people. Which I find hilarious since I was 170+lbs at 16 and going on 27 this year I only weigh 115. The difference? Maturing, learning to eat better, understanding my personal caloric needs... and baby fat. I didn't lose any of my baby fat until after my 20th birthday. I also had the face of a middle schooler until then that turned some guys off because I looked too much like a little kid even at ages 18-19.

[@mariabumbar3512]

Omg, so true. I am also closing in on 27 and I look and feel drastically better than I was at 18-20, because I have started to shift my lifestyle from "chasing good looks" to being healthy. And while it is true that I have achieved these improvements with a lot of exercise and better eating habits, the goal is to be healthy and feel good for myself, NOT be pretty. Not to mention I look better now than at the start of my now 2 year long relationship with my boyfriend. :)

[@sidniemcgraw5136]

I have gained about 40 pounds in my current relationship. I have my own issues with my body but I have not one single time ever felt my husband was unhappy with my body. Quality relationships are in no way dependent on weight .

[@marajones1828]

I am so thankful to have an autistic fiance who can't physically see or notice if I gain or lose weight. Or get a new zit. Or if I'm bloated. He only sees beautiful...all the time. He never sees what I complain about. I love him. I'm autistic too BTW. I love my other half, this relationship heals me ❤️

[@changingfashionsinc]

Omg ❤

[@spidermuffin1596]

Bullying doesn’t help. I’ve been told I’m fat all my life and it only made my stress eating worse. I’m trying to reverse the damage by practicing self love so I am more mindful of how I treat my body and what I eat. I’m trying to romanticize my health. So the bullying idea is wrong. Bro just wants a reason to project his insecurities.

[@CassieTranthesuperfitbabe]

It also doesn’t help if your partner is also very vain about themselves, specifically their weight. This doesn’t materialize as them grooming themselves 24/7 or monitoring their weight to half a pound, but it almost always looks like projecting their opinions about the physical appearance of their partners because if they can’t control themselves, they will try to control their partner to distract themselves from their own self-perceived shortcomings. BUT WAIT: if you happen to lose weight and improve your fitness to a point where you start feeling more confident about yourself, that same partner STILL is displeased because they start saying “oh, you think you’re all that, huh?” 😒

[@AlysaAlysaBolissaBananaFannaFe]

Yeah, that's why it's important to find partners that value more than just your body. Physical attraction is important but it doesn't hold a relationship together.

[@anikin6060]

This video means a lot to me. My brother is very into some of those podcasts and sometimes his comments get to me. This video made me feel a lot better about my weight (i’m overweight, its tough because I have asthma and other health conditions that make it VERY difficult to loose it) and also made me feel a lot better about my relationship, since I’m a lesbian. I guess i’m winning since I’m part of the happiest group of individuals according to the statistics! 😆 No but seriously, this genuinely eased some of my worries and made me feel like it’s okay to accept my body. Thanks for saying that healthy looks different for everyone, sometimes I have trouble remembering that healthy is not synonymous with skinny. My current goal is to get my body moving more so that I can build a little more tolerance to my allergy & exercise induced asthma, and then maybe I can build some more endurance! I really want to not worry about how much I weigh but rather try to help some of the struggles I face as an asthmatic so that I can go on longer hikes or maybe even jog (jogging, how crazy?? 😱). This video made me realize that if I don’t accept myself and my body now, then I won’t be able to accept my body even if I lose weight. I’m going on a backpacking trip soon, wish me luck! (I will be bringing my inhaler and taking it easy, I promise!)

[@vivvy_0]

Good luck, go live your life💪💅

[@anikin6060]

@@vivvy_0 thank you!

[@aj7952]

Hey, I’ve been where you are now and you are so right! You need to accept yourself and treat yourself like a friend, you are the best friend you will ever have! Been gentle with yourself and good luck! And as someone who’s done way too many diets and starved myself to loose a few pounds let me let you in on a secret…diets are all bullshit and it might make it more difficult for you to maintain a healthy weight in the future. Eating disorders may have a small time where they make you think you look good, but the long term effects on your teeth and metabolism SUCK. Be gentle, be happy, and be kind! You are more than what others think of you, treat yourself well.

[@theyoungkamikaze19]

08:20 - EXACTLY MY REACTION! - it will always be so wild to see African/South African expressions/phrases on the big internet because whenever I use them around international persons I always have to stop and explain the expression/phrase coz they're confused. Ja nee, it's hectic out here!

[@Rig0r_M0rtis]

People don't break up because of weight gain - it's just an excuse. And if it really, really is the reason then the relationship was doomed to fail anyway.

[@one-day-at-a-time4134]

Agreed.

[@SimplyErinful]

Absolutely. If you intend to be with that person for the rest of your lives, you’d have accepted they’re going to change. Why would they care if that change happens earlier than expected

[@copiouscat]

Ahh just what uplifts my Thursday today. Thanks Kid

[@ramenaddict1676]

im very glad i got dudes who compliment my slight chub. girls shit on me for being chub, guys dont care. i even like chubby dudes back so its a win-win. im in between chubby and skinny (im at my heaviest atm) so I don't always get consistent opinions or reactions to my body. It's almost as if, *GASP!* preferences aren't universal! And you're right at the end, I also came to the conclusion that people who REALLY love you won't criticize your weight and looks, they should love you for you, or else it's bye-bye to the relationship. Weight fluctuates, get over it.

[@user-lt1jd1ye3v]

I’ve never heard of a girl dissing on another girl for being slightly chubby, you need to make better friends

[@Disnotz]

​@@user-lt1jd1ye3v didnt adele got hate from mostly women especially the fat positivity ones when she lost weight. She literally had to speak out against it and was so disappointed.

[@LoveK1]

@@Disnotzyour comment doesn’t even make sense in this context. The OP said women would make fun of her for being chubby but you just said that Adele got heat for LOSING weight. 🙄 Do you understand the contradiction? I’m guessing you don’t but let’s just see.

[@Disnotz]

@@LoveK1 She was still getting hate for being slight chubby though because she wasnt fat anymore. I wasnt responding to OP but the comment under it saying "ive never heard of a girl dissing on another girl for being slightly chubby" which is untrue. The point was that the comments about body were mostly from women. Most magazines who talk about these things are mostly by women for women.

[@TheRockerX]

​@@user-lt1jd1ye3vI've met several women who've confided to me that the ones who give them the most grief for being overweight are other women.

[@Cheyscrochetshop]

People say "historically" without ever researching the accurate history of what they're talking about. Vehemently spreading misinformation really makes me mad.

[@stephanieyoung9289]

Pearl is just.... Beyond 🙄

[@xxmelancholicxx]

Like her comment on women not being able to maintain 120 lbs as if she’s 120

[@itwasriggedfromthestart9520]

She is a hero, a brave and intelligent woman

[@allycat9592]

​@xxmelancholicxx Right? Never have I seen someone embody the phrase "rules for me, not for thee" so well. No woman should have a job, except for Pearl. All women should have husbands, except for Pearl. All women should stay loyal to one man for the rest of their lives, except for Pearl. All women should be fit, active (while not leaving the house) and under 120 lbs, except for, you guessed it, Pearl. 🥴

[@madinp1177]

Talking shit about how it's a woman's job to be attractive for her man while looking like that is....quite something.

[@mariabrown6926]

​@@itwasriggedfromthestart9520 and a hypocrite who doesn't live what she preaches

[@paigeconnelly4244]

The irony of the pickme girl at 17:04 to say that it's a woman's job to be beautiful for their husbands, when she is unmarried in her 30's and is OBJECTIVELY below a 5/10 when measuring against modern beauty standards.

[@krk6216]

No not objectively; in my opinion she’s maybe a 3 when dressed up, makeup on, and good lighting. It’s everything about her that’s not pretty: her face, hair, voice, demeanor, body language, and what she’s saying too. Shes never going to get picked so she’d better get comfortable with herself

[@Ri57490]

It's the male of the species suppsoed to use it's physique to attract the female? E.g. peacock and peafowl

[@ariannasaintjohn369]

I 100% appreciate your journalism skills. I didn't know about these statistics and most of us would have never even been educated about it otherwise. Your channel is a breath of fresh air when compared to other reaction channels where they're just talking about the lastest gossip and giving their opinion. This is similar to what you do but you honestly show all sides and it makes for engaging and entertaining story telling. Good job 🎉

[@nikolascannell]

My husband and I have both lost weight since getting married and having a child. But this is only a small consequence of our healthy and happy dynamic together. We both also got sober, took up exercise, hobbies and our overall level of positivity on life has increased. We both share in similar goals for fitness and discipline and hold other accountable to these goals. This isn’t because of personal preference but because we know it is what the other wants to achieve. We also hold space and love for when the other may want to back off from maintaining fitness or aging or pregnancy. My husband continually told me how much he loved me and found me beautiful through pregnancy and postpartum. Our physical attraction is partially based on our similar respect for fitness but mostly upheld by our boundless respect and love for one another. I know we’ll be bonin long into our 80’s 😂

[@reckonerwheel5336]

Congrats on the sobriety! It can be especially difficult if your partner doesn't feel the need to go on the journey with you, so it's great you both had the same goal.

[@konzokomo8488]

People absolutely still get bullied he's out of his mind 😭

[@TadanoCandy]

I don’t have any statistics to back this but I think heterosexual women might choose not to date an overweight man, but would stay in the relationship even if their man gained weight, lost hair, or otherwise became less conventionally attractive. Heterosexual men, though, might choose to date an overweight woman more often, but the men that chose a conventionally attractive woman might not stay in the relationship (or might cheat) if their women gained weight (because there’s nothing else than the conventional beauty that attracted them to their partners in the first place). An n=2 sample is small, but this happened to my mom and also happened to me (not completely in my case; I was down to stay loyal to my man even when he gained weight or lost hair, but we didn’t get to see if this would happen if the change happened to me, cause I didn’t change in the period we were together)

[@kattodoggo3868]

men dont stay wne their wifes get sick. They be true for the weight gain.vwhat is there to say. Mens ""love"" depends mostlyon your looks

[@gauloise6442]

@@kattodoggo3868 You're choosing the wrong men

[@chelscara]

I mean, I also don't have statistics but in just looking at relationships, I've seen way more plus size men with skinny women walking around. I feel like it's weird to just assume they had to have started gaining weight after the relationship.

[@haileyt857]

@@gauloise6442 hard to choose the right ones when they're the needles in the proverbial haystack. Male socialization is crazy intense

[@prouddegenerates9056]

@@kattodoggo3868 It’s around 20 percent in general. Where men sit around 3 percent, but external factors play into this. For example, my sister didn’t leave her husband, because he had work and life insurance benefits. She’s was still “married”, but slept with other men.

[@STEPHxCA]

One of your vids encouraged me to go on a masochist speed dating challenge. I’m over 50 in now I think. Thanks for posting

[@anamimi18]

I was in relationships with one guy, and after some time he suggested that I'd lose some weight. I was exact same weight throughout our whole relationship period, overweight of course, but he literally got what he paid for and still wasn't happy 😅

[@a.clemons]

6:37 is when the ad is over.

[@Twilightsonata-w7p]

But we can’t have people be happy about their bodies, where would all that money and those easily exploitable victims go?

[@EK-dt4cp]

So happy I’ve discovered your channel! Your voice, your aura…just so calming. And continuous quality content 🙏🏻♥️ you’re amazing!

[@runningcommentary2125]

I was watching a Louise Perry video and there was a droolie in the comments who said something like: “I agree with what she’s saying, but it’s a shame that she’s clearly about to hit the Wall.” My friend, Louise Perry is married with two children. She’s already won.

[@camdecay]

i was almost underweight as a teen and my boyfriend at the time cheated on me with a girl who was way bigger than me. it shattered everything my an*rexic 16 year old ass thought about weight. idk what happened but either he liked that she was bigger than me, or he just liked her personality and didn’t care about her weight. it destroyed me at the time but showed me how unimportant weight is. everyone’s got different preferences and personalities.

[@sinovuyobudaza7167]

I have been fit and slim for most of my life. But I didn't have a healthy relationship with myself during that time. I worked on improving my relationship with myself a few years ago, which was just after I turned 30, and this year, I'll be turning 35. Self compassion became a habit last year, but I also struggle to keep my weight down since. Hearing you say that weight gain can be a sign of one being in a healthy relationship, even with self, gives me hope. I still intend on making healthy choices and loving myself with all the changes that come with age. ❤ Thank you for your video. ❤

[@leann1234]

Many great points in this video. Personally, some of the *worst* sex/intimacy I have experienced in my life is from fit men with abs... 30sec/two-stroke to bust, with no foreplay/aftercare... the more fixated a guy is on how he looks correlates to less satisfaction for me/not viable/happy relationship. & i know many women who have experienced the same dissatisfaction. Their whole personality is just "looking good" but that is not enough, or worth the drama, to have a whole relationship with someone like that IMHO. Men in particular treated me much differently when i was fitter & kept up a rigrious gym routine, & it was honestly a big turn off how shallow some men are 🤧🤮

[@marcel_the-shark1892]

Honestly why can’t men and women just love each other without caring about how attractive they are and only be concerned about weight in relation to health?

[@prouddegenerates9056]

Eh sexual selections is what it is. You’re ugly, so no? That’s absolutely valid, respect any woman who can offer it honestly. I love you regardless? Still valid.

[@geegee_509]

Both my husband and I have gained 30 pounds since dating. It’s been 5 years which is pretty good if you ask me. We workout but lose and gain weight at around the same rate. As the first girl said, our hearts and belly’s are happy and full ❤

[@lilmorsecody]

during one of the better relationships I've had I was the biggest I've been. I can't believe looking back at pics from that time how curvy I was. Feeling comfortable and like someone truly loves you definately helps to let go of a lot of those insecurities and self punishing behaviours ❤️

[@angeleeshaw]

In relationships, as in life, acceptance of what is, what has been, and what will be continues to be the best marker of satisfaction. I personally think groups like the redpill have been deeply hurt at one point in time and still aren't able to accept/move past that pain. So that pain continues to be projected on the rest of the world. Great video ☺

[@vivvy_0]

what goes around comes around..? c'est la vie.

[@superhydroyeast]

Also the "incels" clip with scruffy Destiny sent me to another planet.

[@0_0merry]

I think people forget a lifetime is A LONG TIME, if you're not willing to stick around for weight fluctuations, you have to accept you don't really see this person as a long term partner. It is real hard already to keep up with society, it's really sad to have a partner make you feel bad about it also. And if that's what you think, then that's okay, but you obviously don't have the same priorities and that's going to come back in one way or another during the rest of your lives. And I'm saying this having been on both sides of the coin.

[@consciouscrypto3090]

I used to always gain weight when in a new relationship. It was because the men were forever taking me out to these really nice restaurants and I didn't want to ever pass up the delicious options and desserts. Normally I had a pretty regular eating pattern, and didn't spend money eating out on my own. But they were adding thousands of calories to my weekly diet, without increasing my activity much at all, so I would gain weight. Then when I stopped dating them the weight would just drop with no effort.

[@wen6519]

I think the motto should change to "unhealthy at every size". I wish my doctor would stop assuming that since my blood work and vitals and whatever are healthy, I must be feeling pain because I'm fat. My friend is fat, they've got a thyroid problem, walk faster, eat healthier, and work out more than the verge thin person I know; they just have a metabolism problem, so they don't lose weight. Another friend is fat, they work a retail job on their feet, have good health, and are a gorgeous person who can take care of themselves completely without a romantic partner. Another friend is a nutritionist who eats the healthiest and goes to the gym, she is fat. We are fat. We are not unattractive, lazy, unhealthy. And I wish we could have regular medical attention like average weight people.

[@craigrodriguez8384]

SMH. Fat has a lot of negative effects like inflammation. When fat you are UNHEALTHY

[@laurennelson3918]

⁠​⁠@@craigrodriguez8384 okay but there are issues beyond their control causing the fat. Imagine if you went to a doctor for falling asleep randomly at work and instead of trying to find out the condition that caused that such as narcolepsy or insomnia they told you to sleep at night.

[@chickenandksivideoreviewer9739]

Cope

[@tracer4322]

This is so true. It's so messed up that these attitudes are ingrained in our medical system. Weight and health are not the same thing because health is so much more complex and based on many factors

[@mayam9575]

Would love to hear your take on body neutrality and what it means to you! I am disabled (not gonna get into it but one of my organs doesn't work) and also have a kinda conventionally attractive body (tall, small waist and big boobs). I really like the idea of body neutrality because I think that it is the best for me personally because it feels more achievable. However, I can't think of my body as a tool and still feel good about it. My body really succeeds as at something I can feel positive about but it really fails as a tool. My body does not work the way that it should. Body positivity feels worse to me because I dislike being perceived as a pretty object. Part of the reason I have a skinny body is because my meds sometimes make me nauseated and it feels gross to me to love the look of the sick underweight body. I one thing that I think both movements lack is that I think it is ok to feel bad about your body. It's a lot of pressure to always feel happy and I often fail at both positivity and neutrality.

[@DecemberDaydreams]

I feel like body image is like body weight; it fluctuates. And thats completly okay

[@krizismenya2171]

when i read about body neutrality it was said that it's okay to feel bad about your body sometimes. but i didn't read about it in english but in my native language

[@prouddegenerates9056]

The body is a tool, most of us work for a living. We trade our backs and time to survive. If someone doesn’t, then it’s because another did it for them.

[@deepwaters7242]

I am in the healthiest relationship of my life, and 6 months in, I quit tobacco. I gained a very stubborn 65 lbs almost immediately and I've had illness and injury that slowed down my activity. My man LOVES my body this way which is nuts to me! I've also been dumped at my hottest and previously celebrated when I had gained weight in my 20s. Honestly, I think the acceptance of myself when I'm a little bit larger has attracted higher quality people than the shallow people who surrounded me at my most thin and beautiful. It's kinda nice to not attract terrible people. The people who see me at my largest and still treated me well have way more respect in my book, as well. I'm hoping for a "glow-up" within a year, I'm increasing my activity and I eat 1.5-2 pretty healthy meals a day, drink lots of green tea and water, and don't choose to eat crap often. I hope my man is still attracted to me with loose skin and smaller boobs, but I won't beat myself up if he isn't. I just want to do all the fun physical activities that are hindered by being overweight. The prettiest places require a hike or a climb!

[@eliashe1797]

i've had a few long term relationships with women where their bodies change weight over the course of the relationship. i agree that by and large at any rate my attractiveness to them didn't fluctuate by their weight. I'd add that the attrctiveness in that context is actually in tension with the emotional bonding that happens. which is different than just some POA at the club. but it was super frustrating trying to convince them of this. idk what is going on there, but the difficulty in getting them to accept that i actually found them attractive was so difficult, or that the emotional bonding matter, and that always ended up damaging the relationships, sometimes quite badly. conversely, i've rarely received compliments in my relationships in regards to attractiveness, which as i understand it is pretty common for folks (from what i hear from the dudes on this). but when one is given, its accepted. i oft think these sorts of concerns bout feminine body image run up against a contradiction too; men clearly find lots of different women's bodies attractive 'men will f*ck anything' so to speak. this doesn't fit well with the narrative that men generally are picky in their tastes.

[@DecemberDaydreams]

Whats a POA?

[@eliashe1797]

@@DecemberDaydreams piece of ass; meant as a term of endearment. a hook up, no shame to the point. there's just no real emotional bonding going on there.

[@zabi_aka]

I've seen so many different couples of various matches on the streets, all looking happy (at least outwardly), thin and thick, fit and unfit, short and tall. Everyone has different preferences in looks. Yes, most of the time you can't escape judging the book by it's cover, but the cover not always comes first(most important). But people who may seem unattractive to me personally walk around with their partners holding hands and smiling, which means there's probably a plethora of people who will find you attractive too. Maybe you haven't found them yet, maybe you're looking in the wrong places.

[@emmanarotzky6565]

You can pick and choose the weight (or any other superficial aspect) of your partners with very short relationships and random hookups, but not a marriage lol. It’s fine to care about someone’s appearance when you’re young and you date each person for a few months or a few years at most, but if you’re older and looking to settle down it’s time to forget about looks and care about personality. This used to be common knowledge but I guess internet brainrot removed that fact from our collective memory? Or maybe young people aren’t interacting with older people as much so they don’t see any examples of long term relationships and don’t know how they work?

[@coolchameleon21]

forreal. my parents have been married for 35 years and both of their appearances gone through a ton of changes throughout that time. these people are living in a fantasy world if they think their partner will always look the same as the day they met. they should just stay single and pursue shallow encounters instead

[@KilonovaBurst]

I personally would like to see a study done on how the mental strain of marriage impacts weight gain. Alot of ppl dont talk about how things like depression/anxiety can fuel over-eating /binge-eating(eating disorder) which ultimately drives weight gain. I feel like alot of married ppl eat/ over eat to deal with the emotional toll of marriage,especially when their are kids involved. So I wonder if that helps drive weight-loss after marriage/long term relationships?

[@doodle-pen]

the wiplash I had when you said you're South African is indescribable. it's rare to find one of our youtubers delve into topics like the ones you discuss. i love what you're doing

[@Ric.KGikonyo]

Kid, why you like this? dropping while i'm going to sleep rn...

[@Darth_Bateman]

Sounds like a skill issue, broski.

[@Ric.KGikonyo]

@@Darth_Bateman more like East African time, and i have to jog in the morning, looks like i'mma be late.

[@pensivecircles]

I gained 40lbs during Covid and my husband (then boyfriend) never commented on it. Eventually I became dissatisfied with my body and he and I had a conversation about my weight gain. We change our diet and started exercising together. Now I've lost the weight and we're both in good shape. The main benefit wasn't in our appearance but in our relationship. Instead of constantly vegging on the couch we hike, rock climb and run together. We've been on so many adventures and seen so many beautiful places that I wouldn't have been capable of 40lbs ago. And now that we're married we care most about living a long time and having a good quality of life.

[@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986]

I’ve been told before by my sisters friend she can tell I’ve been single a long time because I’m too slim and fit to be in a relationship 😂

[@sophiasanford8480]

My fiance helped me recover from a years long eating disorder. Even now when I have issues with body image he calms me down and reassures me that healthy is happy. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in this life.

[@oomay1925]

its crazy how nicely worded that message was but it really doesn't save him saying how he's not going to act like her gaining a bit of weight is okay??

[@isobelb]

When my wife gained weight the only problem was that it made *her* unhappy. It didn't change how I felt about her. Then she was hospitalized with a crushed vertebrae, a slipped disk. The doctors tried to be gentle when they wanted to say that it was probably caused by her weight but she said it first, "it's because I'm fat!" and was told, "that could be a contributing factor but it is more likely to be genetic or from falling off of a horse."

[@NPolk7]

I definitely think there are SO many mid ugly men with absolutely stunning women

[@prouddegenerates9056]

Fair, judge and be judged. Own it sister, don’t hide an opinion. Embrace a venomous tongue, but know that similar fangs could dig into your ego too. Respect all the same.

[@Ri57490]

Those women are mentally unstable for choosing the ugly guy.

[@itstarisaii]

What these people are missing is compassion and kindness for their partners and health comes when you love one another support the other to be their best. It sounds preachy but these podcasters just describe people who tick a box same with just wanting someone to accept you no matter what

[@prouddegenerates9056]

Physical health matters too, the leading cause of death in the United States is heart disease. Our pandemic panic, still didn’t reach the normal casualty rate of heart disease.

[@Traigame2cervezas]

As a bi man, living in a long therm relationship with another man for 10 years now, I can say that body image is a persistent issue. I am, and most likely, never will be content with my body image. And I can tell my partner cares a lot about me taking care of my weight and muscle. I need to keep up or I have to accept that out sex life is gonna be hell. That’s the fact, it’s not about health, it might be part of it, but for him it matters that I keep up with my successful career as much as I do with taking care of my body and mind.

[@MariaRodriguez-dx6sm]

He sounds exhausting and superficial. The kind of guy that will kick you to the curb if something bad happens

[@LoveK1]

How do you ever feel safe in that relationship? How do you ever feel stable?

[@MariaRodriguez-dx6sm]

I can't stop thinking about what you say. So I have to ask, why do you keep up with this guy? Why do you accept that if you don't have a six-pack and a fat stack of cash, he won't show you love? It sounds to me like he is using your insecurities to keep you down and make you think you should be grateful for having him. That's a narcissist manipulating right there. No, man, reconsider this relationship. Even if you are 10 years in, you deserve better than being treated as a piece of meat. You can find a sweet woman or a bear daddy who actually loves you for you.

[@vivvy_0]

how is that love?

[@timekeeper2538]

​@MariaRodriguez-dx6sm All he said was that he knew sex wasn't gonna happen if he doesn't take care of himself, it's only logical.

[@Merlinfoop]

In my relationship with my ex, i watched the love and attraction come and go from her eyes whenever i lost or gained weight. It was incredibly disheartening because I did so much to carry us and act as a breadwinner while she mostly stayed at home, working three days a week relatively less stressed.

[@victoriabanks7701]

Yea but we’re fat in America because we’ve spent decades eating poisonous food and are only recently realizing how dangerous our foods have become.

[@tjwithanak7517]

Better a late realization than never. But let’s be real, many ppl (men&women) know the facts and prefer eating the poison

[@sixftturkey]

i feel like we’re in an era where every aspect of identity politics is held up like some kind of badge of honor and we’re all arguing over who has the shiniest one

[@HuntersCinema]

What a surprisingly optimistic ending.

[@EmilioCorrales813]

I don’t think it’s that unreasonable to expect your partner to keep a certain weight, if not for the sole purpose of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Especially being in a relationship where you both want to live as long as possible together.

[@hannahmisko1490]

I am currently medicated for a sudden health issue I’ve gotten so I cannot articulate the many many thoughts I have on this issue other than yeah, it’s INCREDIBLY layered and difficult. Having gone through body image issues while trying to figure out what my healthy body actually is versus what my smallest possible body is is difficult. It’s scary hearing that I’m too heavy when I fit into the smallest clothes I ever have while weighing more than I ever have because of lifting changing my body so much. It’s like whiplash seeing people who are actually at a healthy body weight be called fat, while skinnier girls be called attention whores for expressing they have issues with their bodies too. It’s hard seeing people who are trying to figure out how to get healthy be ridiculed for even trying, especially when the reasons most people are overweight come down to genetics. It’s hard staying healthy when there aren’t a lot of affordable healthy options right now. I feel bad for the men too, since I’m seeing red pill communities rebrand extreme eating disorders and sell them a painful lifestyle full of self hatred for promised fulfillment. I see these communities literally tear apart what could’ve been healthy happy lives for men and then tell women to do the same things we’ve been told for generations and are very obviously bad. I understand criticisms of health at all sizes, and I know you already agree but healthy isn’t what has been sold to us and continues to be sold to us. It does really look different for a lot of people, and I feel for people who struggle with being underweight or being overweight that it can be a gateway into a healthier lifestyle while not feeling so judged while still encouraging them to actually change their lives. I see women at 25% body fat, which is a healthy body fat that also allows people more wiggle room to live life and enjoy experiences while still working out and eating healthy most of the time, be called fat and it makes me sick. I want to help my friends who feel they are in a bad place, but it’s so hard for it to not turn toxic and slight calorie deficits to become eating as little as possible

[@Bearpuppies]

I think another aspect is having somebody that cares for you and your health. I think when people live alone they can be careless and forgetful when it comes to eating full meals. But when you’re in a long term relationship meals are with another person who can remind you to eat or gets worried when you skip them.

[@Yuri57g]

My ex left me for a bunch of shit. One being I gained 20 pounds, while he gained 80…..mine is from 2 pregnancies and almost dying from pancreas problems. He just ate..also he lacks hygiene so he smells on top of being fat and has no emotional intelligence. He says women are out there waiting for him in the side lines…yes sir..there are women who can look past the weight… but your lack of emotional intelligence and disgusting hygiene will be hard to look past, as well as the fact you have no money 😒 I can’t believe I loved him so much I looked past so much, even cheating smh btw he’s sitting at 310 pounds at 5,9. I for real loved him 😅

[@marcorubboli9415]

You are spoiling us with so much excellent content! Lately I've been sharing every video of yours with at least one person because the topics you discuss touch basically every human being