The Boundaries of Self: A Conversation with David Whyte (Episode

KZbin:
In this episode of the podcast, Sam speaks with poet David Whyte about his new and on-going series for the Waking Up app, based on his book, Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.
Released: March 7, 2021
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[@DiarrheaBubbles]

I bought a new sound system just to experience the intro to this podcast correctly

[@richardavery2894]

I just bought a new experience just to intro my sound system correctly...

[@verfassungspatriot]

@@richardavery2894 where can I buy this? :D

[@marty9660]

Show is great. intro is too doomsday. kzbin.info/www/bejne/fXikfZSjatmBqJI

[@yvesmichaeledwards]

I used to have the intro as my ringtone

[@sirriffsalot4158]

@@verfassungspatriot It comes with the waking up app ;-D

[@tdez6060]

"The ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another..." How lovely.

[@rozakkkazora8527]

now someone just needs to take this quote and place it over a shiny chrome mouth

[@shortcutDJ]

that almost made me cry

[@akeustis]

This is the My Little Poetry: Friendship Is Magic episode.

[@tdez6060]

​@@akeustis awh i like that

[@Skiddla]

@@rozakkkazora8527 puu.sh/JsN87/4d2f037138.png

[@luker.6967]

That friendship poem was really something else. Thank you David!

[@elizabethk3238]

This is an example of why I'm so into Sam Harris... Thank you from a 75 year-old retired Canadian social worker.

[@knowholovesrainydays9770]

This man deserves all the respect

[@kashesan]

So beautiful-the ultimate touchstone of friendship is Witness. Thank you.

[@violinsinthevoid4579]

Consolations is an excellently written book. He lives up here in Whidbey Island in Washington State. He was my dance teachers neighbor. He is extremely kind and thoughtful. I’d love to have a chance to take a walk with him in a foggy morning in the British Isles. What a guy!

[@ntroudart]

I listened to this episode over 10 times for the past week or so... Sam Harris and David Whyte are the best together... Inspired me and reached deep in my brain...

[@adventureswithjonny87]

I'm hearing this and I'm on your subscriber feed!

[@aaronwhite1479]

Brilliant, especially the section on friendships.

[@Mr96akaal]

A grounded conversation is priceless. ‼️👏🏼 Thanks for the video Sam.

[@ncooty]

Great conversation and insights... and Mr. Whyte seems to agree with himself quite often... "yeah."

[@shoresofpatmos]

😂😂

[@Kavriel]

If i say, "I have no regret" i don't mean i didn't do something that i wish i hadn't, i mean i don't feel guilty for the things i shouldn't have done, because i've grown past it, i've forgiven myself. You make mistakes, you learn your lessons, you get a bit wiser. Holding on to regrets is not unlike wallowing in it, doesn't sound healthy to me. The past is something we should stand on, not stay in. Beautiful things said about Friendship. It can be said about family actually. The reason we don't usually ditch out family members is because we often don't have that opportunity. So we come to forgive or let bygones be bygones, until it becomes a habbit. A lot of people feel that friends is the family that you chose, lots of truth to that. I find the navigation between : helping friends improve and accepting them as they are, difficult to navigate. One can make the friend inconfortable or even angry, and the other might let them continue self-destructive patterns. I actually hate the sentence : "Never explain. Your ennemies won't believe you, and you friends don't need it." The most insightful things need some breaking down. Knowing the reasoning behind a sentence is often more important and revealing than knowing the sentence. It's not what you know but how you know it that makes sense. If you can bring someone from the basis of the argument to its logical conclusion, a rational mind should agree, or if they don't on the moment, they should come to change their opinion after a while of digestion. Your friends should require proper explanation and not base their knowledge on hearsay. I also don't like the separation of people between ennemies and friends. It's very binary and simplistic. All in all, quite a nice talk, some good insightful points, that are likely to have an effect on my handling my friendships.

[@MiaogisTeas]

4:49 This sums up my frustrations with modern education and language so well.

[@tomgmaples]

I think that's the difference in the way males and females visualize and learn. The modern school system geared to Taylor easier for a female period boys do better with older boys mentoring them.

[@jamescooke6173]

This podcast was like the Godzilla vs. King Kong of soothing voices

[@goodnatureart]

so funny! 😇

[@helenyates3951]

I have many regrets..as David eloquently suggests, we can reflect and appreciate how we can be different in our lives to the experiences of regrets. Regrets can motivate us to grow and develop and deepen our lives into better human beings. It's an ongoing morphing into.

[@solarnaut]

Helen yates, Yes, thanks for saying so ! It certainly sounds more prudent to take yesterday's manure and with it fertilize today's garden, rather than (the sometimes easier seeming choice of) just rolling in it ! B-)

[@stavokg]

Sam Harris, wow; THANK YOU for bringing your podcast, and this wonderfully illuminating episode to us.

[@DavidRamos-nz4bh]

This was absolutely moving.. thank you..

[@saintdouche]

Great conversation, thanks both

[@eeoo2062]

I appreciate all you do. Thanks

[@darren_mcgarvey]

Beautiful discussion.

[@positiveposts1249]

Yes your friends know why you are who you are. They understand the things you cannot change even for your higher good-until one is ready and then- far out man so cool

[@MrEtown87]

That hit me, too caught up in work. Friendships dwindling. I need to rectify this. Covid does not help but neither does using it as an excuse... I'm waffling now. Great conversation Sam & David

[@solarnaut]

MrEtown87, thanks for posting . . . "no judgment" (even if "9 months" later, a new baby could have been born ;-) ) . . . I winced a bit hearing Sam refer to the "hopefully waning" pandemic . . . it is the "excuse the keeps on giving" for ever shrinking social circles even if age and a drifting from institutionalized systems that tend to foist upon us friendship opportunities may be as much a factor . . . "to blame" Cheers for 2022 ! B-)

[@vaani2306]

Superb conversation!

[@anotheryoutube3179]

11:00 that is beautiful indeed

[@naturalisted1714]

Learning about others shows you who you are.

[@BlandMarkComedy]

Mighty!

[@stephenbyrneireland]

Fantastic. Just gorgeous.

[@chrisschmid5212]

the black hole of introspection

[@S.G.Wallner]

This should be great!

[@randygault4564]

Thank you.

[@eltorroyirlande]

That was absolutely beautiful...

[@bradbradspringate7609]

The part on friendship was amazing he app is great too

[@dr.paulj.watson4582]

Splendid.

[@chewyjello1]

11 mins in and this has brought tears to my eyes. What a hopeful way to allow all those things from the past to come rushing back...

[@shaun906]

thanks Sam, been under the weather so I needed a calm relaxing podcast. when's ricky calling you again?

[@swaggitypigfig8413]

Thanks for bringing on Mr Hwhyte Sam

[@daveshonk7702]

I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying...wow.

[@shoresofpatmos]

This is so touching ...

[@brianjoyce9040]

Thx man

[@merkisruiz3120]

Looks like embodied cognition is gaining traction! Good.

[@Protolamna]

He sounds like the dude sampled in the song Dead eyes Open from Severed Heads back in '83.

[@JD..........]

If only the critics of Sam could hear episodes like this...

[@karinamendoza7787]

“… The ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement neither of the self nor of the other. The ultimate touchstone of friendship is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another. To have walked with them and to have believed in them and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span on a journey impossible to accomplish alone. …”

[@goblingimp195]

Sam good podcast, keep it up!

[@twhite3003]

Finally.

[@MosesPlays]

Actual content,finally NOT another call from Ricky. Had my fill of those..

[@MattCooperKay]

Why were Ricky's discussions any less valid 'content'? It's of course personal preference, but I enjoyed them.

[@MosesPlays]

I don't know m8,I simply don't think he's that interesting.. take the first call from Ricky for example,just looking at the title,I knew Ricky is going to speak about his comedic process.. and though it started out quite interesting,it almost immediately turned into just that.. I also am not a fan of how he conducts himself in a discussion,and how he sometimes cuts out Sam without letting him finish a thought(or even a question). But if I'm being perfectly honest with you Matt, All I really want to do is listening to Sam,and I'm often thinking to myself,why won't sam stop interviewing people,and just read the books,and instead of inviting them for a discussion,simply tell us what the books are about. That would make me the happiest. #ManCrushAlert xD

[@hokiturmix]

David reminds me of the narrator from Jeff Wayne's War of the World.

[@1979ce]

Also Never apologize. You're enemies won't believe you and your friends don't need it.

[@BTM8109]

A Whytes-only podcast I can get behind

[@1979ce]

Honesty is reached through strength and confidence. Weak people lie.

[@DAlexKablack]

did this just get uploaded and i randomly came upon it?

[@ra6298]

Algorithm ....

[@GaaikeEuwema]

It would be great if you could invite charles hoskinson. I think you have so many shared interests, from effective ways to improve the world to meditation..

[@garyhamilton2104]

At 11 minutes in when he talks about using his past regrets as a "pair of eyes and ears" to pay attention to the future, am I understanding him correctly? Using an example; is it like him saying you use the recurring memory of past bad experiences as a trigger to become mindful?

[@mattd2641]

I took it less literal than that: having regrets has made him more aware and better able to avoid creating new ones. It's his way of putting a more positive spin on the fact that he still lives with his regrets.

[@blakereneehope]

Cool how it hedges on the simple "Friendship" conclusion. Makes for an easy transition with efficient use. Mostly we don't see others as friends, so its a deep insight. The western mind lol. Honestly on the side of positive Karma, and receive the same. People who are dis-honest find it hard to maintain friendships, even the tiny ones. Manifest through natures intention, with honest foundation. LOL "Ambition is a word that lacks ambition" LOLOL

[@1979ce]

Making woke sense with formerly interesting Sam Harris. You're what I listen to at the end of the day when/if I've exhausted everything else.

[@mattd2641]

Imagine going out of your way to click on this video just so you can post some bitterly-worded comment, to announce to the world that you're upset because you and Sam don't agree on everything.

[@MonteiroM]

Interesting

[@shoresofpatmos]

👌👌👌

[@doma3554]

Hey Sam. Will you speak with Jordan Peterson again soon?

[@almcdonald8676]

I was thinking about Sam ’s congratulating jack dorsey for removing trumps Twitter and it suddenly occurred to me that Harris is now indistinguishable from Ezra klein. I would imagine that could be construed a tragedy but I suspect that for the remnant of Sam’s audience such a comparison is desirable.

[@andybaldman]

Friendship is no longer these things. It's just an icon you click on the internet now.

[@garrettrobertson3678]

Friendship: 13:53

[@skulptor]

Mr Harris left the building some time ago.

[@Worthless.557]

Hi

[@TechGamesAU]

1:00 start

[@lindajoylapointe]

I am a senior on a pension and cannot afford membership. I understood that you are prepared to grant membership for free is asked. I am asking. Thank you.

[@tanistramontin4261]

I miss the idw

[@bizleycraft6146]

"A fear of loss in one form or another is the motivator behind all conscious and unconscious dishonesties." Means nothing. It mirrors a clip from Prager "University" my Christian friends once posted that claimed that all 10 commandments are about stealing. To maintain either claim you have to make the corresponding word meaningless.

[@dhadad9885]

I guess no more phone calls from Ricky! :-(

[@kataroquasinzki7383]

Samuel please invite _White Fragility_ 's author. It'll just break the internet

[@MiaogisTeas]

It would be a whirlpool of DiAngelo's circular reasoning and doublespeak crashing against the rocks of Harris' insistence that she admit identitarian ideology isn't a valid basis for government policy and making decisions for the whole of society. No disrespect to Sam, but it would be a waste of time. DiAngelo is so caught up in her own subjective reality I doubt she can function normally in society. Robyn is incapable of stepping out from behind the mask she's made for herself and just experiencing life without a racist lens through which to view it - she's no-one of note. She's nothing without it.

[@jimmyjones8676]

The fact that David Whytes concept of lying is center around self deception shows his utterly detached from reality.

[@munkymunk9053]

I enjoyed the conversation but the readings were awful. The man is in love with the sound of his own voice and comes across as if the words coming out of his mouth are a cure for cancer or something. I can't imagine sitting through an hour or more of him droning on about the obvious benefits of friendships as if they were revelations. Did he go through most of his life as a loner and only recently found some good friends? I know that I'm lucky to have some extremely good friends but I feel as if most people already understand these concepts. I don't practice meditation so that part of Sam's work is uninteresting to me, I usually wouldn't comment on one of these types of videos but this guy just struck a nerve with me. I guess I just want to express my desire for more science-based content like the ''How to build a universe'' or the theology-driven discussions that have a Hitch-shaped hole these days.

[@Iambecome]

"droning on about the obvious benefits of friendships as if they were revelations." - that's all that anyone needs to know about you, sir.

[@sandiegene]

I think he's off the mark?. Friendship isn't about witness it's about validation. Validation of your likes, dislikes, of you. Also, I've never had to "forgive" a friend - we're not d*cks to each other

[@TheVeganarchism]

At the risk of sounding like a cretin: could someone who enjoys David Whyte’s poetry or finds it edifying please try to explain to me why they do? Is it purely aesthetic (and thus out of reach for someone like me who just doesn’t “get it”) or is there a way I can learn to appreciate what others seem to? To me it just sounds like fairly obvious prose most of the time - and I don’t mean that as an insult, I’m just trying to explain how it lands (or fails to) to my ear.

[@DoubleOhSilver]

I haven't read a lot of his poetry yet, so take this with a grain of salt. A lot of poetry can be obvious. Poetry is meant to be eloquent and meant to get you thinking, even if the point is simple. It might help if you try reading into the words more, try to appreciate the flow of there's any, and to pause and re read sections to try to better understand what ideas and emotions they are trying to convey.

[@DoubleOhSilver]

I should add that I also think prose tends to lack eloquence and it bothers me when it's written in verses that have no flow.

[@bradbecker8982]

Please have a chat with #YaronBrookShow before you conclude your talks about the self. Objectivists need included in this discussion otherwise facts will inevitably be neglected.

[@Ignirium]

Why does Davis Whyte read things twice, why does David Whyte read things twice?

[@janegreen191]

To give you time to absorb the words.

[@Ignirium]

@@janegreen191 Oh, that makes sense. I found it distracting because it was intentional, it also felt like i was really young like a kid who needs to be told things slowly. But it was an educational tactic. I still find it very distracting and dumbed down

[@AwkwardSegway95]

I'll repeat what I said in the comments of the last episode with this guy: "Just when you thought poets couldn't get any more pretentious..."

[@MikeWalker]

Absolutely. Jesus... i thought at one point he was going to quote himself.

[@yogeshkulkarni]

Jottings: - Themes: Word's true meaning - Dialog: Sam Harris with David Whyte - Ref Book: "Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words." - Friendship: - Mirror to presence - Touchstone: being witness - Good friend looks at best in you, encourages you. - Honesty: - Grounded in humility - Not revealing the truth, but being afraid of that, how little we know. - Ambition: - Frozen desire - Essential at young but becomes obstacle when mature - Authentic watermark of life: Generosity - Alone: - Not threat but chance to embark journey of unknown - Meeting new you, what you have become.

[@1979ce]

Is this dude telling us about friendship? He sitting a restaurant alone. He can't even find one person in his life to spare a half hour for him. He's alone. Why would I want to listen to an old lonely person. There is nothing more sad.

[@patrickoneal5533]

Shame the ultimate enemy

[@JohnDoe-xw6mg]

No more brave conversations with interesting people. Sam is a few videos away from Deepak Chopra status, his got the app already

[@tobycokes1]

Hole

[@mattd2641]

Thanks for sharing your opinion. I found this one to be pretty interesting myself.

[@tristancappel]

First

[@Jams1187]

Second

[@AnythingMachine]

Death is bad

[@mariog1490]

Have Jordan on. Just talk about something else.

[@thesk8erdav]

Never thought I’d see Travis Scott’s pic in a Sam Harris comment section

[@bradleymeacham2348]

Hi! I enjoyed the content! I've been trying to research for an insightful KZbin video like yours that really breaks down the stuff in this KZbin video. 👏 The part at 1:31 is my favorite. Your content actually reminds me of the channel of Doctor Ethan. Ethan's explanations are really informative and I actually learned a lot for my practice. He is the helpful medical student on KZbin and he talks about mental health. Go see his KZbin out and give the med student a like here! ➡️ #DrEthanOnKZbin

[@saffet5292]

I am 74, I have not heard 2 hours of such a silly meaningless stupid conversation in my life. except during 60s.sometimes after after we got really stoned. 1

[@Greef246]

Say no to marxism

[@rofl0rblades]

This kind of poetry ist somehow not my cup of tea.

[@akkalange6359]

not a good episode....sry....dis-liked...!!

[@Sagaciousish]

Old Sam the corporate mouthpiece Harris strikes again

[@1979ce]

restaurant by yourself....the ultimate sign you've failed in life.

[@munkymunk9053]

What an ignorant comment

[@MikeWalker]

The ultimate sign? Really? I see you by the sea, in a restaurant... the sea crashing on the waves... amid interesting, lived in faces, and your head buried into your mobile phone.