The Breakup, The Relapse, The Relationship

[@douglasdean3785]

Glad to see you back bud! I think I can speak for the majority of us here that we have never expected you to be "perfect" quite the contrary. It's your vulnerability, it's your honesty, it's your journey that draws us in. It takes a LOT of courage to do what you do here on KZbin. I simply couldn't be anywhere near as vulnerable as the walls I've built up around myself to aid me in my daily struggle to survive wouldn't allow it. At least publically. Probably personally as well with friends. So the fact that you can be this vulnerable makes you one of the most admirable men I know of. I look forward to hearing the latest that's transpiring in your life, good or bad. You're a hero! What you've already overcome, what you struggle with still it all has crafted you into this amazing guy we get to see on occasion. So keep being you, strive for your best and we'll be here along the way supporting you through thick or thin even though we will never meet. Know we wish you nothing but the best! 👍

[@lizcoleman5229]

Ah Nick!! You are so authentic and real and you don't owe anyone any explanations! Breakups are so draining and hard and I'm so sorry about your relapse. I'm very happy that you and Mike got back together. I wish you nothing but the best. I'm so glad to hear that you reached out to get help. That's so important. Big hug❤❤

[@richardbuckwalter8571]

Nick, it is my greatest fear that if you don't stop returning to that pattern of turning to drugs when you hit a road block, you are going to end up overdosing and killing yourself. Like you said you KNOW it's not the answer, so DON'T go back to it!! PLEASE!! Much love and care to you!! ❤❤

[@gkl6566]

As someone experienced in addiction & relapse, I emphasize with you. Learning to face what happens in life, not disconnect with substances, isn't easy for an addict like me. Being taught to allow myself to be truly authentically me, & not putting loads of perceived pressure on myself to be someone I'm not, was truly liberating. The past cannot be changed, let it go. I only have today, & each day is a new beginning.

[@GioandJC]

Wishing you continued strength in your sobriety and all the best for 2024!

[@anuarvonen]

Lovely One!!!! Always!!!! Happy New Year 2024 !!!!

[@Dallas-214]

Nick you have overcome so many struggles. I am so proud of you❤❤❤

[@anuarvonen]

❤❤❤❤❤ My Special Lovely One!!!! Always!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤ Happy and Lovely New Year 2024 !!!! Love!!!! Always!!!! Hugs!!!! Anu ❤❤❤❤❤

[@tampazeke4587]

Never give up! Life isn't about how many times you wander from the path. It's about how many times you realize you've wandered and with mindfulness and intention and valuable lessons learned you bring yourself back. As many times as it takes! Sending much, much metta and many merits of good karma your way

[@rogerz.3319]

I been following your journey for a while now. What I value the most is your courage to share your life experience. My partner was 20 years younger, unfortunately he passed away 8 months ago at the age of 36. We shared 13 year together and that is the biggest blessing of my life. Live one day at the time. I love you, love your standing on ‘fucked them all’ the on who dare to pass an opinion about your struggles. Know this, there are people out there listening to you. I see you …. I see you.

[@mpshields]

I'm sorry to hear that, dude. You're older & more experienced now and will choose more wisely next time. 😊👍💕

[@marianchtokalo5496]

Happy New Year Nick!! Stay strong.😘😘

[@mrbrandonfoley]

It’s great to see you, I’ve been wondering how you’re doing. - I’m sorry to hear about the break up, and wishing you all the best in recovery. You are a good soul. 💚

[@reginaldburton7925]

Keep doing the work. Proud of you for getting back on the wagon.

[@garywilson9640]

Im very glad to see this post. I'm one of your first followers. I've been off any bing alcohol now for over a year. 2 years for any prescribed opiates. And finally my physical pain is under control, mostly. I know having a support person to talk with is a huge assistance in recovery. I'd love to be a telephonic coach even though I'm clear out in No. California. 😊❤

[@garywill7166]

Nick, glad you are doing well. Sorry about you relapsing but sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the calm. Stay strong and know that you have many friends behind you. Let’s say, a New Year a new you! Be well and keep us posted. Big hugs!

[@shaneevans4323]

Uff, heartbreak is a hell of thing. It can send you spiraling and making all sorts of unwise decisions

[@TakeTimeToTravel]

Stay strong Nick! Life is a lot of work and you’re finding your way through it. Keep up the hard work and all the best in 2024 :)

[@Tropicalfrooploops]

Put the work in, and it always pays off. Hit the gym, build your confidence, strengthen your recovery, further your career

[@marth9660]

You astound me Nick. In a good way. But sometimes I feel so protective of you it’s incredible….. it gets me thinking about the power of how you communicate and of your life. You manage to be a mirror for people (well, me) even though I’m not an addict. There are a million and one ways to fall short, to fall down, to relapse, to get back up and to go on and your sharing through this channel throws light on many other lives and many other struggles beyond your own. I’m incredibly and continually proud of you. I do wonder though if maybe stepping back from “relationships” for a while might help you regroup and consolidate your expectations. Anyway….. ❤️❤️❤️ from me as always.

[@jdpresley5661]

Thank you for courage, honesty and ability to tell your truth. Wishing you all the best with your recovery. As you have noted this is a constant struggle but with hope and awareness you will succeed. Stay positive!

[@juliussmith4001]

Thank you for sharing your story please take care of your self. BLUE WAVE

[@kennym-mb3ll]

You played right into the hands of those who spoke negatively about you and your relationship with Mike. For your own recovery, growth and maturity and well as for the stability and longevity of your relationship with Mike, this needs to be addressed directly with him and with those who spoke, in case correctly, about the concerns they had. Good luck.

[@jamescasejr.9679]

Glad to you get better days, good health and deal your time recovery ❤

[@wilbertubina5523]

great great. nice. more power to both of you.

[@cpa2011]

Very honest, very real - thanks for sharing

[@JohnWilliams-km5eh]

I don't know you outside of your KZbin, But wish you the best on your journey. Know people are proud and happy for you. So true, no one is perfect, but understanding that keeps us moving forward. To better our lives and lives of the people that we care about.

[@jimb4789]

Enjoy hearing your progress and glad you are getting thru issues and are doing well. 😊❤

[@georgehunt2787]

Nick thanks for update. As always you have lived & learned. I think the majority will tell you we’re here if needed some of us from beginning of vlog series. I hope you know more than anything you can do anything on your own with higher power as your guide. I hope we see you soon!

[@ciel222]

Have a great 2024 ❤️❤️❤️ I'll look forward to see your videos for the new year .

[@LMays-cu2hp]

Thank you for sharing a nice part of your life. I continue to wish success with "you" first then relationships that are apart of your life.😊😊

[@gary5477]

Hang in there Nick. We out here all *love* you!!

[@anuarvonen]

So Proud Of You Lovely One!!!! Always!!!!

[@GarySmith-cp8mp]

Glad to see you back!! I wish you all the best and look forward to more videos. Hang in there we are all here for.

[@carlorizzo827]

Nick thank you for this amazing disclosure. I'm highly sympathetic/empathic. 25 years off booze, and unlike my AA buddies, the obsession to be drunk has NOT left me at all. I taste it every day. I had hoped that with time I would be less triggered, but that hasn't happened. Thing is, I'm old, and I KNOW that a relapse would be suicidal. Honestly there's faster ways to die if that's what I want. One of the curses of youth is being sturdy enough to survive a relapse. I no longer have that delusion. Dating someone NOT in program I found frustrating. They don't speak this language, don't embrace these values. Cheers, Man, lotsa love

[@AuthenNick]

Thank you and congratulations 🎈 ❤️

[@reginaldburton7925]

You guys should come to Palm Springs with OutLoud!

[@jeremiahcoopersmith8471]

2024 is a fresh new year! I wish all the best with your sobriety!!! We truly missed you in Key west!!! You should come to Palm Springs it’s going to be epic:)

[@GregRBaird]

We all missed you in Keywest and were worried about you. I am glad you are much better, just wondered if you gave yourself enough time between relationships. I do feel bad for Mark, but glad you are communicating. So happy you are holistically taking care of yourself.

[@altlover85]

So glad it worked out! The Out Loud guys are awesome too! Subbed!

[@AuthenNick]

Thanks for the sub! ❤️❤️❤️

[@altlover85]

@@AuthenNick you're welcome! Keep up the great work!

[@OLDS98]

I am sorry to hear about your recent troubles, but you recognize the impact and you are doing the work daily to make the changes in order to feel better and be better. That is a journey . You have to continue to work at it daily. It is a struggle, but life can be hard but you know what needs to be done and make the changes. Glad they are doing the work, you got acceptance from your partners family. You will get to meet up with Out Loud at a future date and time. The season while come. Do not feel or be discouraged.

[@jeffScotty]

Keep up the good work buddy.. I had 5 years and then someone introduced me to Kratom. I didn’t even know it was a drug, well, one year later I’m sober again. It got very ruff and I wanted to die. But… I’m back and better than ever. You have such a kind authentic spirit. I really appreciate you 🤗

[@janoska2011]

Happy New Year Eve ❤

[@horacioclown6665]

Stay strong, I absolutely know that feeling that I can’t deal with bad feelings other way than get high (in my case on weed)… Even when it was helping me “only” for 4 years because of stress from college, sometimes it is still hard to not want it anymore. Well I was sober for 3 months and than I have smoked for a few times, but just for recreation, not to escape problems… I have never wanted to give it up completely, because I am not gonna lie, it have helped me a lot while I was trying to understand myself… Aaand I don’t know exactly why I am writing all of it here. Working on yourself is hard, but it is worth. Stay strong and I wish you well.

[@billlummus6810]

The Struggle is REAL......

[@johnhaxby306]

addiction is a horrible bitch, i struggle daily, hang in there man

[@thomasmead6898]

Thanks for sharing your story and I wish you the best on your sobriety and your journey. You are a very handsome and masculine guy, I absolutely get that everybody has their own taste, but it still fascinates me that you are only attracted to older men. Anyways thanks again and take care bud!

[@stevemoseley7420]

Glad to see you again and glade you are better

[@debbieporter6581]

Just be wary of Mike. Put yourself first. Be careful who u trust. Your sobriety is important.. Take care

[@viderethevaccinatorfromhol7536]

Life isn't easy. But hey, you are still here. That's what matters. You know you can do it and you will do it. Easy or not easy.

[@Stephenrsm7600]

Nick, question for you. When did Mike & You get back together after he broke up with you, and you went down the rabbit hole for about a month????? You said Mike was with you by your side, but what brought you two back together???? How much time passed before you two were back as boyfriends or partners, or husbands???? I await your response!!! Thank you Nick!! Excellent video!!!! I am trying to get through all of your videos with all the other stuff going on in my life!!! I truely get where you were and where you are!!! Yes, I contemplated suicide had my plan and all set up. But, the thought that my mother would be the one who would find me dead, kicked me out of the suicidal thought. Thanks, Nick.

[@thec.tradiographer2237]

Luv you nick

[@defchefman86]

Omg its been a long time 🥹

[@danielmeunier9622]

Love to you.

[@arjunbrij9442]

Did he ever apologize to you for the abandonment? Is he an avoidantly attached person? Just asking because I have somewhat of a similar story. Wishing you guys happiness👍

[@AuthenNick]

He did apologize it was definitely a hard time❤️

[@carlosrabino5125]

I’m disappointed after 6.5 years.

[@Dallas-214]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@anuarvonen]

Hugs!!!! Anu Suomi Finland

[@KoalaBeer.]

Good for you..lots stay on methadone

[@Discoveringnicole2.0]

I ❤ you.

[@b4804514]

Nick You have to get therapy. You have a personality that needs a therapist for your own safety.

[@thec.tradiographer2237]

Hi

[@WillScarlet-zc2iw]

Though I don’t know the details, I sense - I’m sorry to say - that you, pal, are immature, emotionally unstable, not to be trusted. (You apparently lost no time in finding another boyfriend). In previous videos, you rhapsodized about your life with your age-gap partner, the cooking together, the vacations. etc. and, then, you dump him. Where is your heart? Do you have one? I was suspect of you from the beginning, exhibiting your life as you did to all and sundry, showing no discretion, no substance. My heart goes out to your ex. I hope his heart heals easily. And as for you, I’d suggest growing up, being a real man. I hope this helps.

[@AuthenNick]

😂😂😂

[@anuarvonen]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@anuarvonen]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@kevindockery5182]

❤❤❤❤❤