The Census: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

[@janmichaelsaulsbury5137]

I was a census supervisor this year, i had disabled veterans, retirees, college students and single moms looking to get out of the house, every one of them was great and were happy to the do the job. Please open your door for a census worker, we just want to keep this country strong.

[@couragekarnga8735]

Good for you. I salute you.

[@k.a.m8261]

Sorry u have to deal with Trump

[@JeanieD]

Thank you for your service to our country!

[@commonsense31]

Well I can’t understand why you wouldn’t open the door for Census workers! When it is so important for your future prosperity in your local society

[@jeremywatts8134]

You’re talking to people who will follow these media-types’ advice and undermine accountability for the sake of being propagandized. Good luck.

[@Starman_Dx]

Really disappointed that the census hero wasn't named "The Censei".

[@Hummabubba]

Now I'm disappointed too. Damn, what a missed opportunity that was.

[@ichijofestival2576]

People would've thought he was just some weird weeaboo doing cosplay. It was actually a bullet dodged.

[@Hummabubba]

@@ichijofestival2576 You think people in rural Minnesota know what a weeb is?

[@dungeon5028]

what isnt now, can get

[@shane-o-matic]

Slow clap 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@mlr4524]

Most Census workers I know of are older / retired females. I'm far more concerned for their safety than people answering the door.

[@ilarious5729]

Are they even allowed to carry a gun? I wouldn't knock on anyone's door in the US without a gun. Bunch of bad asses those pensioners!

[@haskelkowalkowski5159]

Be careful, those ladies... They love penetrate some butts without consent!

[@Glornak]

@@ilarious5729 Only government worker who are allowed to carry a firearm are the ones you'd expect. Police, Military, FBI and such. Every other government worker could be fired for having one on them during official business.

[@ilarious5729]

@@Glornak that makes sense, it would give a really bad look if the whole government was armed. but I'd maybe make an exemption for these guys. Well, rather no one having a gun but let's be honest, that's not gonna happen.

[@Glornak]

@@ilarious5729 Honestly i think a flashy badge and a panic GPS button would be most effective. Nobody would get violent once it became known the cops would be quick to respond. It'd be a federal crime after all so it's top of the list for police. Though that wouldn't do anything about the rude idiots who act like they're personal information is sacred.

[@jackbartlett4402]

“The 2020 census is likely to be more difficult” You have no idea

[@syro-syouthrecordingorg6111]

ikr???

[@MrHistory269]

2020 is likely to be a very difficult census

[@jacobstudies]

The understatement of a lifetime.

[@sangieredwolf]

I'm a census worker and people are completely miserable to me...

[@skandigraun]

Yeah, aged like milk. I would put here a laughing emoji, it's just...

[@annabellahoward5442]

Watching Donald Trump confuse the census for bankruptcy inventory was quite revealing.

[@jonathanstolow1153]

Happens once every 10 years

[@sharstarg2414]

Jonathan Stolow lmbo

[@stewiepoohie2979]

Annabella Howard BINGO!!!

[@missybarbour6885]

That explains it.

[@elderlymelon]

lmao

[@bremCZ]

Census woman: What's your name? "That's way too personal information." Starbucks: What's your name? "John"

[@simondezeeuw2042]

You guys give Starbucks your real name?

[@Chipiliro613]

Except in Starbucks you can say your name is Zxlorbax IX and who can do anything about it?

[@IgorBagayev]

@@Chipiliro613 and who can do anything about you saying the same to a census person?

[@avamasquerade]

"Drumpf" ...derp

[@shadowsoul121]

@Ganiscol people still have those?

[@camelthegamer7165]

It's once a decade, folks. Put up with it and show these census workers, the most temporary of temp jobs, some hospitality. Be a good host.

[@robertstuart480]

In the immortal words of the great philosopher Abraham Lincoln, "Be excellent to each other."

[@xthor86]

Its outdated all other Western countries Just has a permanent accirat register. With every citizen having a unique number...

[@roguishpaladin]

@Agent Smith No, no, no! You learned the wrong lesson from WWII. It's not "don't trust the government", it's "don't let your government be coopted by hard-right militants". The people should be working hard, and in unison, to create a government worth trusting rather than viewing it as an alien institution.

[@nurlindafsihotang49]

Yep. What was it with these shitty people treating Census worker like that? Always taught by my parent to answer them politely, offers tea or other refreshment and some cookies. And small pleasantry never hurts. They are doing a nation's duty.

[@angelgjr1999]

Agent Smith what the fuck

[@shaneilburrell9265]

My husband sent this too me to watch because I am going to be a temporary census worker. I'm not sure if he thought it would scare me away from doing it but honestly it makes me more determined.

[@whatabouttheearth]

"The original census, in 1790, asked just four questions: --The number of free white males aged: under 16 years and of 16 years and upward --Number of free white females --Number of other free persons --Number of slaves"

[@Craftymom1o19]

GO get ‘dem answers! And be safe! And do let us know how it went afterwards, cause wired is expected but fascinating is so much cooler.

[@andreadeagon2301]

How did it go?

[@Shuker8964]

Did you maintain the streaks?

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

... sent this to* me ...

[@ichijofestival2576]

That's certainly one way to motivate participation: spite.

[@ehoffart529]

Spite incredibly powerful. A guy I knew said I'd never get a job in Colorado. Out of spite I applied for 10 jobs that night, proceeded to get one of them, and moved to Colorado.

[@typacsk]

Spite is what makes me get up in the mornings.

[@Guppusmaximus]

@@typacsk Spite...Not Sprite.

[@WilliamSmith-ni6fm]

@@Guppusmaximus Ah yes, Spite Cranberry

[@warrcoww6717]

I quit heroin out of spite

[@christopherbreznai1805]

Can we all agree that Susan's drawing was really good?

[@smihalikable]

I’ve been waiting for him to use my name on a show! He’s always talking about that burnout Greg.

[@lavrentivs9891]

Yes, that was a great drawing =)

[@dinospumoni5611]

Bro it wasn't Susan who drew it, that's a portrait of Susan.

[@lachsalter490]

Just let me say this: I ♥ tacos

[@tylerhackner9731]

Yeah it was a great drawing

[@TOrvash]

Worked in the 2010 census. We had a lot of very stupid people claim it was an Obama conspiracy.

[@matrixphijr]

Coffee Jesus Deportables? Oh, shit, I read that wrong and got my hopes up.

[@soccerruben1]

Oh boy! Even though people can agree to disagree about what Obama did in office in terms of policy, I think that asserting that the 2010 Census was an "Obama conspiracy" is a bit too far.

[@666Tomato666]

@@soccerruben1 fascist love them conspiracy theories

[@corey2232]

@Craig X ^There's one now!

[@Hailiums]

@Craig X Your info is already out there for anyone to find. If you have an address and pay for internet, your info is out. Sorry to burst your bubble.

[@spikie985]

He doesn't want to give his name to government? When the local, state and federal governments already have it via driver's license most likely and also who does he think issues and keeps records of Social Security Numbers?

[@LoveAndSnapple]

Right!? Giving one person your name doesn’t take away the fact that by the time you’re 18 your information has definitely been shared amongst many government and private companies looking to make money off of you.

[@symbolic503]

ok then why the fuck do i need to tell you if you already know what it is? fuck off im not telling the government shit because they dont care about anybody in poverty. the census is a fucking joke.

[@idiotsavant2343]

I think I found the Libertarian.

[@TheNinthGeneration1]

symbolic503 if there’s a miscount in your state, you can lose senate seats, that’s a big issue

[@--enyo--]

Don’t forget probably every form of social media.

[@djole94hns]

"That is a fact. A Disney fact" - ok, I'm convinced John is trolling HBO's legal team at this point.

[@modothegreat108]

I reckon every second episode of this show at minimum generates a lawsuit, actually. Why do you think HBO has its own legal team? Because it's a company standard to have your own law people on file? Nah, can't be that~

[@djole94hns]

@@modothegreat108 Well, yeah, it is standard for any larger media company to have at least someone on retainer, if not an in-house legal team. But it is much funnier to think John is such a lawsuit magnet they basically need an in-house law firm.

[@modothegreat108]

@@djole94hns Yeah, that's the truth of it. But I do suspect John Oliver generates most of the HBO legal team's work.

[@djole94hns]

@@modothegreat108 Yeah, I don't think drafting contracts for TV shows is as challenging as defending John from the barrage of lawsuits.

[@edwardv1255]

Well, at least any company or person who cares about PR will think twice about taking legal action against LWT after the magnificence of last Sunday.

[@Hero1922]

"if for nothing else to piss this guy off" SOLD lol but also yes it is important for public services and such as well

[@paigelego4027]

Me: “I don’t know all that much about the census” John Oliver: “It will really irritate Donald Trump.” Me: “Sold. Where do I sign up?”

[@paigelego4027]

INERT impossible things actively awful for humanity delight trump

[@MrFallior]

@INERT Doubling the fund for cancer research has a much higher chance of irritating Trump than defunding it.

[@forman208]

Yeah, I call bullshit on that. Trump literally doesn't even know what the census does. I seriously doubt he cares who signs up for it, he's way too ignorant to keep track of that sort of thing

[@sarthak.roy013]

@INERT Well, Trump probably thinks the cancer research is the research on the star sign cancer!

[@carterreid9869]

INERT that’s not even close to the same thing

[@AliceDiableaux]

Another great episode of Reciting Major Systemic Problems with the Cadence of a Joke with John Oliver!

[@sarthak.roy013]

That's the best possible way! Another one is musical!

[@adrielsebastian5216]

Also a terrific episode of I Just Wanna Watch A Comedy Show and Go to Sleep But Now I'm Sad with Johnny Joy-Killer!

[@agatahamers]

fsegsdrehge

[@raycearcher5794]

"The computers of the world" sounds like a lost Kraftwerk album

[@kstxevolution9642]

it's fun to compute

[@forcesightknight]

Ah. ...kraftwerk, classical

[@newgreen956]

Ah, yes a wild Kraftwerk reference

[@grantgreider3413]

The Kraftwerk musical

[@theannoyedmrfloyd3998]

Satoshi Kon's Dreaming Machine

[@amberdent651]

"The census isn't constitutional." Uh. Dude. You ever read the Constitution beyond the preamble?

[@FirstnameLastname-bh9qs]

I mean, to be honest, he probably only has read the 2nd amendment.

[@Biotear]

@@FirstnameLastname-bh9qs Eh don't be so sure. He probably didn't even read that one, just heard it from someone else.

[@starkiller18]

he is a libertarian nut job so no he has never read the constitution ever.

[@kyleblackburn8776]

You think they actually read anything? For those kinds of people the US Constitution isn't a written document but an abstract philosophical imperative for the individual to do as they will while forbidding any entity not powerful enough as an individual to resist to form a group to oppose them. With the law typically existing as some kind of paradox.

[@aking3624]

The only version Trump read was on a Denny's kids menu!!😨

[@audesigns42]

We need Census man because Census man’s power is you can COUNT ON HIM 😃

[@henrywilliams3355]

I don’t want to like that, but I absolutely do

[@melonlord1414]

And he will count (on) you

[@joeljaeger1997]

Census Man is my parent's neighbor!

[@kindle139]

:D

[@bt_18]

He can _count_ me in

[@brylisstormscourge603]

"having my name is too much information for the government" Well seeing as you have a YT/Google account you seem fine with a corporation having your private info but okay

[@INeyxI]

Yes but they only use it to sell stuff to me and sell my information to others, like I'm a piece of meat, so others can sell me stuff as well, basically turning me into a money sponge, everyone can try me! Just because I gave one company access to my Information. It's not like they provide me with the infrastructure and security of a working state, making sure that the government I vote for represents me and mine correctly. It's the obvious choice to trust private companies over the Government. /s 🤦‍♂️

[@dylanchouinard6141]

Shhh Libertarians don’t like it when governments does things, but are ok with it when corporations do it because capitalism, don’t question it

[@uweschroeder]

if you're stupid enough to provide correct information that is... Just because the sign up form says "Lastname" doesn't mean I put my last name there.

[@ChKoh-yn2yj]

Uwe Schroeder That guy was definitely stupid enough to do it.

[@RealCoolGuy]

You don't need to give out personal information to have a KZbin account.

[@537monster]

The same people who freak out over the government asking questions during a census, probably also sign extremely long contracts without even reading them in order to get their phones to work.

[@NinjaTyler]

537monster correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t the Supreme Court rule the other year you can’t be held legally responsible for those contracts because they’re so impossibly long by design to ensure the majority of people won’t read them, therefore making them unable to hold up in court?

[@x--.]

@@NinjaTyler don't know you heard that from but I haven't heard that. Sure they can't be used to sign away liability for dangerous acts but most other rights? why not!

[@537monster]

NinjaTyler idk, I just like making fun of people who try to act superior just because they hate the government.

[@christinacope562]

@@NinjaTyler sending you to arbitration now. Off you go. JK. I just read through almost all of The Walt Disney Company's updated terms of use since I had nothing else to do waiting on a live human. I believe 1 subscriber waited 8 hours, I ain't got that much time! The MDE app and Disney+ streaming service have tens of millions pissed. I believe that's why the humans must go(but their tech is shit since bringing in the INDIANS after forcing American employees who developed it to train before firing).

[@em5522]

@@NinjaTyler Are you talking about something like a clipwrap contract? (Basically, the terms and conditions we click to use something online, like opening a YT account). True, there are certain conditions that those kinds of contracts have to have to be viable (not that they're that helpful to consumers, really), but the problem is also largely related to the service/item related to the contract. Many times, there is no alternative to those services/items, so people are going to click through the agreement regardless of whether they actually understand or truly agree with the contract terms. And those contracts would still be completely viable. Consider this: nearly *EVERY* social media account contains a clickwrap contract to access. There are practically no alternative sm sites that allow accounts/usage without one. So what can you do? Just not use sm at all? It's the same situation with practically every new piece of technology too, including cellphones. You either have to agree to the contract to use the item or just not use it at all, and considering how many people have sm accounts and cellphones, most choose the former option.

[@rabbidsqwirl2]

Don't let this distract you from the fact that John put on the best musical number Broadway has ever seen last week.

[@tselengbotlhole750]

Chris Rogers 🤣🤣🤣

[@nicp9178]

And that’s a fact, a Disney Fact

[@Pyxis10]

@@nicp9178 *insert mickey giggling here*

[@couragekarnga8735]

At least we can replay that while we wait for another season.

[@nkafupynpoint4254]

You are absolutely right and the value of information he spews is more than any mainstream media would ever accomplish.

[@KendrixTermina]

that poor woman who found out that her late father was a racist supervillain tho

[@GrahamChapman]

You talkin' about Ivanka?

[@joshuacox534]

friendly reminder that conservatives have always used any tactics, even racist, to suppress democratic processes kzbin.info/www/bejne/bnilcqZ8rLWaotk

[@safehouse432]

Now I am just imagining the white house rising out of a swamp like the Legion of Doom

[@BenjiSun]

and then there's the racist pig cop's daughter outing her estranged father really is a racist pig and not just the pig butt of a Starbucks cup joke.

[@GeekChicForever21]

KendrixTermina if she was estranged she probably already knew

[@Ha1frican]

“Provided the government’s website works properly.” *Me in 2020 after going through unemployment due to Covid* “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

[@monikagondi5391]

Hope everything is ok. 🙃

[@jakeneedham1895]

You good now bud? Hope things got better for ya internet stranger.

[@specialnewb9821]

Almost surely a state website, not feds.

[@myStitch11]

I find it funny how John’s comment on Susan’s Jack Skelington is about it creeping up and not that is a really freaking good drawing for someone with that penmanship skills

[@marisandinianimelove]

It's also funny when you found that Susan's penmanship is good enough to look like Jack Skellington is creeping about that they make a joke about it.

[@phantomspaceman]

Left-handed people.

[@violetlavi2207]

“Not anymore” is such a weird way of saying “no, my kids aren’t babies anymore”

[@matrixphijr]

Or is it a more suspicious way of saying, “My kids aren’t alive anymore”?

[@violetlavi2207]

@@matrixphijr It could be, but I'm hoping it was just a Freudian slip

[@delorbb2298]

She was just chuckling at the fact that someone actually thought she was capable of giving birth at her age. Or she thought it funny that someone would think she had babies when her two sons are old.

[@forkittens]

i think its weirder that the interviewer assumed that someone, when asked who is in there family, would have a cut off for infants. as if babies are too young to be considered part of a family.

[@toshomni9478]

Exactly. The whole thing was weird, not just the woman's response.

[@Htx.lunatic]

Best Buy: Would you like to sign up for rewards? I'll need your name, address and phone number "Sure, absolutely. Need my social too?"

[@Lantispitfire]

Yeah we just need the first 9 digits of your social

[@nurlindafsihotang49]

And these kind attitudes are not extended to.Census worker. No wonder your country have such shitty election result.

[@felixmortem1177]

These people believe that the government is trying to harvest vast quantities of information from them under the assumption that the government doesn't already have a pretty good guess at the answer

[@ccdj504]

@@Lantispitfire 🤣🤣🤣

[@TheSquad4life]

@@felixmortem1177 i always laugh when people think the powers that be don't already know enough about them , they think not participating in the census etc is their rebellion

[@dimensionalremi]

"the 2020 census is likely to be more difficult" you're right, but not for a single one of the reasons you listed.

[@jmwloup5110]

He didn't see covid comming

[@forgiveman]

@@jmwloup5110 I think no one saw this coming. But Trump avoid counting some people using Covid as an excuse.

[@guitalex2005]

"The Olsen Twin... they will tell you they are two of them, but ONE of them... is lying." This joke has me thinking too much.

[@nimbydimby]

It's a good one.

[@scottyweimuller6152]

He's been doing it for years and its hilarious

[@doko3000]

It would be really epic if their TV appearance, after years out of show biz, was on Last Week.

[@Damogen]

Yes... only one of them is lying, cause the other one genuinely believes that there are two of them.

[@AlejandroRodolfoMendez]

There are a few theories from being triples to the one that is basically the other twin is like vacation at Bernie's

[@LoveStallion]

I worked as an enumerator in 2010. The evening counting homeless people was fascinating. The entire country does it once on one night so that there's no double counting.

[@SebAnders]

But...how do you find ALL OF THEM on one day?

[@Kraus-]

@PragaMaterUrbium People in the U.S. don't want poor people to get IDs because they would have to show their ID to vote.

[@nellievaughn7755]

I work in a Census Office. Our enumerators are some of the most passionate people I've met. Such a pleasure. Thank you for having done this in the past.

[@sanpedroez3367]

"What's your roof made of?" Wtf lol

[@damystery123]

I think Trump was thinking of home insurance lol

[@chrisboyd3540]

@@damystery123 Trump and thinking are two words that shouldn't really ever appear in the same sentence together. ;o)

[@mechanicpluto2430]

Chris Boyd Apply ice directly to hot burn

[@Craftymom1o19]

I work in state conservation asset management and even we don’t do that. (But we can tell by just looking). Also we don’t walk up to people’s houses cause that’s notoriously a great way to get shot. Seriously, Mail carriers and census workers 👏DO 👏NOT 👏GET 👏PAID👏ENOUGH 👏

[@JJs_playground]

Lol

[@shawnmulligan2894]

The guy singing in the commercial at 0:31 is Glenn Yarborough, who is the singing narrator of the 1977 animated Hobbit movie and it's 1980 sequel The Return of the King, who wrote such songs for the specials as "The Greatest Adventure" and "It's So Easy Not to Try". Did you need to know that? No. Are you mildly interested in that? Maybe.

[@einstein951]

I was definitely mildly interested

[@mga2890]

I was more than mildly interested!! Thank you!

[@pythagorasvideos1938]

I was especially looking for this comment, thanks for confirming. I heard the voice and thought : "Wait a minute..."

[@carolstott5337]

He was also the singer in a band called the Limelighters, who released a ton of folk albums. I grew up with their 1960 self titled album and their album "Through Children's Eyes". He and the rest of the Limelighters are my musical heroes, and I was delighted to see him in a John Oliver piece!

[@johnchessant3012]

tl;dw: please, fill out the census. It's important not only for apportioning legislative seats but also for determining funding for your community from all levels of government.

[@SocialGore]

I'm 36 and I've never received one.

[@Scnottaken]

And pissing off Trump, can't forget that.

[@blanto5627]

Damn... Ive been receiving these for the past month since i moved to a new town! I feel bad ive thrown every piece of mail away😅 I am gonna do it now tho 🌏 i love Mr.Oliver.... He teaches you so much 😋

John Chessant and for pissing off potus

[@rike94]

Lazy as fuck

[@patw3611]

When a census worker goes door-to-door they meet all kinds of people. Some good, some bad, some completely insane.

[@avigutierrez8948]

Like a psycho doctor from Baltimore😏.

[@Burninator353]

Yes we do lol. Never know what you will run across each day.

[@enviromental2565]

As someone who worked the 1990 census, truer words cannot be said.

[@charleskilgore2679]

I was lucky. I had quite a few people slam the door in my face, but at least nobody shot at me or tried to throw gasoline on me, which happened to another census taker in the district I was in.

[@alastorlapid2365]

Or a coked out mouse.

[@Grabovsky85]

I think trump was confusing the cencus form with the hotel inspection form.

[@turtlegettingby4433]

Kosak Grabovsky ahh yes an honest and understandable mistake

[@janea5898]

He was referring to the tax guy who used to come into our homes and see what we had. I read something about that once. As usual trump Is confused. lol

[@nakenmil]

@@janea5898 tax or property insurance agent.

[@dag_will2615]

I would consider your opinion valid, if you didn't have an anime profile pic

[@chickenfarmer296]

IcantSeeReplies why the illegals still pay taxes a lot of times. Not to mention it’s important to track population growth for future planning of infrastructure such as roads and sewer. If you undersize a sewer because you think population growth is 2% when it’s really 8% you’re going to have a bad time

[@codyjones8719]

"...and one for groups." Me: *suddenly recalls stress nightmares that looked exactly like that image*

[@LeBonkJordan]

_Oh no._

[@luchia4tom134]

what a toilet seat falling down when no one is there to have done it? i agree that sounds terrifying!

[@birdn4t0r7]

wait, you have those too? are you me?

[@katashworth41]

There is a pub near me where the Ladies has a stall with two toilets in it.

[@lisahenry20]

My issue with it is that if you answer you have 4 toilets, then the group one has to be one huge sharing toilet, not a bunch of normal ones. He said how many toilets, not how many bathrooms. I'm too used to Seth Meyers, John Oliver needs to start doing corrections

[@AceKiller9000]

Why did the demographic analysist go insane? He lost his census.

[@ajt51773]

😂

[@nachtegaelw5389]

A J Walls underrated comment!!

[@free_h2o142]

Aha

[@Gundesalf]

As Barney Stinson would have said.... "suit up!". There is always room for one more census hero.

[@DarthGTB]

oof

[@ericreese7792]

Trump sounds like he's confusing Census takers with tax assessors.

[@TheThemikeyoh]

As an appraiser for tax purposes yes we would like to know how many toilets you have.

[@TheThemikeyoh]

As an appraiser yes we would like to know how many toilets you have.

[@waynekerr2472]

The american community survey which is done by the census bureau asks all those questions. It asks if you have running water, toilets, how much money you make, how much your utility bills are all kinds of personal questions. I never knew this until I was randomly selected to do it and ignored it because I knew the census was not till 2020 and a worker showed up to ask all thoose questions.

[@felixmortem1177]

A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

[@g3i0r]

For him, just EVERYTHING is about real estate.

[@jasrajsinghbhinder5033]

So people are willing to give deeply personal information to Internet companies, but not even their name and age to the government?

[@sh0werp0wer]

Libertarians are the adult equivalent of a child who doesn't understand why he has to go to bed, except that they're not fucking children and should know better.

[@sh0werp0wer]

​@chez421 Waaaah! All regulations are *stupid* because I don't undertand what they're for 😭😭😭

[@kappadarwin9476]

zi don't get wack jobs like him ether.

[@sharonmullins1957]

Not this government.

[@Robkinggozer]

Lol in our surveillance state, they already know who and where we are anyway.

[@user-dp9kt2de4j]

Wow, so my president just confused the census with a home appraisal 🤣

[@user-dp9kt2de4j]

@Issac Oshen I couldn't agree more 😣

[@--enyo--]

I don’t think anyone is surprised.

[@safaiaryu12]

"I've just committed the perfect crime! Admitting it on camera probably isn't ideal, but no regrets!" I mean, it works for the president.

[@ToxNano]

While there are lots of crimes, I wouldn't call any of them perfect

[@ericbrown175]

Lm

[@joeblow9657]

YOLO

[@DaddyFutbol]

Always feeling pumped after watching Last Week Tonight ready to change America, only to forget it all after I step out the door

[@idndyzgaming]

Petition: open the opening news to the public too. Especially "Stupid Watergate"

[@rckblzr]

I mean, they gotta get people to tune in to HBO one way or another.

[@chrisSVT]

"Or Stupid President Wants To Fuck His Own Daughter Watergate"

[@t3knosoulz]

@@chrisSVT "daughtergate" for short

[@Izandaia]

To be honest, we're lucky to get this much of the show for free.

[@aarishowton8037]

Stupid Watergate’s been on KZbin for a cooool minute.

[@Gredddfe]

Trump on elections: "They use computers. Why not pen and paper?" Trump on census: "They use pen and paper. Why not computers?"

[@MrNacknime]

Well yes, elections are more secure with classical paper ballots. And also, the census would be easier to do if there was a national ID system where actually every citizen is recorded.

[@TheTrainmobile]

@@MrNacknime Now we just have to create a national ID system, which would be much better than what we have right now, but all attempts have been shot down in Congress so we still have to dig up 5-6 documents to prove that we are who we say we are.

[@Megatonaxe]

@@TheTrainmobile It's sad honestly. Instead we have this broken social security system that just gets everyone's identity stolen because it's being used in a way it was never intended to be used.

[@DepressinglyOptimistic]

This is the perfect summation of everything Donald Trump.

[@Karmabitchable]

This man is such a joke.

[@mm-bt5dq]

John Oliver: This is actually the final episode of this season Me: ☹️

[@juan99101]

He'll be back by February

[@bizhanm3833]

m m ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

[@jamesb4523]

I'm going to rewatch some old episodes for a few months, just to refresh my memory (and laugh while doing so.)

[@missmarete3847]

Me too whyyyyyy

[@Tryingtobringchange]

@@jamesb4523 and cry too for the state of the world

[@ayushsinha1789]

LAST WEEK TONIGHT with John Oliver deserves all the Emmys they won . That's a Disney Fact! Ahh uhh

[@dubidubi1645]

People walking around all day with smartphones and giving their most private data to companies like facebook without any hesitation but answering some anonymous Questions ist too much...

[@owlblocksdavid4955]

To be fair, the government has guns and political power. Corporations only have as much influence as they're voluntarily given. Still, sovereign citizens are probably the type to use linux and duckduckgo.

[@hedgehog3180]

@@owlblocksdavid4955 I mean first off those corporations hand all of that power over to the government, that's what the Snowden leaks revealed and secondly they have plenty of power and thirdly sovereign citizens are usually not very tech savvy. Which is why they will record a video of them denying to answer the census on a digital device which will put the date and possibly location of the film into the file itself and then upload said file to KZbin which definitely saves those things and all of the activity of your account. Also the corporations can and often do influence the government so the corporations don't need the guns and they definitely have political power, that's what lobbying is.

[@christinacope562]

@@hedgehog3180 Corporations have the cash to do whatever they want. They buy politicians, they write the bills that become law. Everyone should search ALEC, very scary. Muricans are getting too stupid to run their own country and that's by design. We are being bread and circused, entertained for control.

[@sandoumir4348]

@@owlblocksdavid4955 When this is your perspective on how the world actually works, I can only assume this is the very first time ever you have watched a Last Week Tonight video. Or used common sense.

[@sandoumir4348]

@JM Rodriguez-Luis I think the more important question is: who has conversations about Tupperware? (Just trying to see if utube is going to try and keep my leftovers fresh the next few days.)

[@111cvb111]

Someone had to edit those hamsters in Speedo’s and they either didn’t like it, or very much liked doing it.

[@awesomecat42]

As someone who is not attracted in any way to speedos or hamsters, I can assure you that I would very much like doing it because photoshopping stupid shit is one of my Favorite Things.

[@gamingman2720]

awesomecat42 sure you’re not

[@sahraguya7639]

I want to like this but your at 69 so

[@Ssesto_elemento]

John Oliver: "one more good reason to participate, and that is that it would probably really irritate this guy....." Me: Done

[@avigutierrez8948]

😏🍺oh yes

[@rejoyce318]

Good enough reason for me!

[@Ssesto_elemento]

@@rejoyce318 Yeap...

[@johnstamos4186]

Just do it because you're in America!!!

[@otogun3324]

@@johnstamos4186 Nah, I'll do it because it'll irritate Trump.

[@JohnnyC01]

I hope there will be another season. We need John Oliver in this world full of madness.

[@MichaelDeGar]

A life without john oliver.....is not a life I want to live

[@SmashinMaston]

Just wanted to say props to the writers on this episode. The humor felt just a little more absurd than usual and it really hit imo.

[@eggplantboys]

that's a disney fact right there

[@stephenmcinerney9457]

Absolutely, and underneath the introduction's levity, the money quote about redistricting @13:13 is the real payload and not-so-hidden intent.

[@alexsilva28]

I felt the exact opposite way

[@Yamyatos]

Wasnt one of my favorite episodes to be honest. Then again, i dont judge on single episodes, since each topic may require its own kind of humor. Some are easier, others harder, some speak more to some, others to others. Over the course of the last couple episodes i did neither see an increase or decrease in comedy value. Which, in my books, is a good thing.

[@Sc0rphionx]

@@alexsilva28 I'm a Vegan ...

[@isthisgoodquestionmark]

In Germany we're getting into the system when we're born. The parents have two weeks to tell the officials where the child is going to live. When you move somewhere else you have to register in your new town. Otherwise you can't vote in your new town. I don't understand how you guys have to do a census like this.

[@mo2gen364]

Because they would have to reform something and reformation... isnt as popular in some parts of the USA as you would believe

[@birdn4t0r7]

do you have any idea how many people would go absolutely shrieking batshit insane about that shit? the only people who have to tell the government where they go here is sex offenders, and on top of that association, there's a bunch of paranoid fucking nutjobs who hate the idea of any kind of registry.

[@isthisgoodquestionmark]

@@birdn4t0r7 I don't. But I assume there would be plenty. Idk it's just normal for us. And you don't have any downsides really.

[@FirstnameLastname-gr5kb]

Wir haben trotzdem nen Zensus, 2021 dann wieder

[@davidecarlassara8525]

Eehm... In Germany census is a thing too... And there is a huge stress on personal privacy regarding that

[@curtis3524]

Guy: "I can show you news stories of where census workers come back and rape and kill people." Census Worker: "Well, I don't really need your name to do that..."

[@margaritam.9118]

Curtis Study says rapists are usually ones whom victim is familiar with 😂😂😂 This guy probably thinks Starbucks baristas try to rape him, too

[@comradegarrett1202]

@@margaritam.9118 See! People who know the victim! Once she learns his name, she knows him! He's on to her!

[@elomoose1169]

@@comradegarrett1202 And after that, all she needs to know is how many toilets he has!!!

[@tonieastcoast9579]

😂😂😂 if only that was her response! I'm already laughing to the point of crying! That would've straight up made me piss myself! 😂😂😂

[@jeremywerner9489]

'news stories' likely being pure, unadulterated bullshit from his favorite right-wing fringe site.

[@devilniklas]

Why is nobody talking about the fact that „Eat Pray Love“ was First released in 2006. John you are a liar!

[@txlee5513]

Yeah, makes you think he didn't REALLY check out this book at all! Tsk tsk.

[@breannazwick9450]

That’s why it’s the perfect crime

[@dandotvid]

To the public. John is a celebrity there are different rules. They get things before they exist.

[@Monochromicornicopia]

Comedian makes joke SHoCkING

[@ShivangSingh1492]

You are damn right....! His team didn't check this fact.... They got it is release date 2 years ahead of its original time...! The novel "eat, pray and love" was published in Feburary 16, 2006.

[@LuzPlay1955]

"How many toilets do they have" - President of the United States.

[@julymagnus493]

"Three Mr. President" -Me, a citizen loyal to his nation and willing to provide necessary information to the proper authorities. Truly I am a warrior of shit.

[@Scnottaken]

@@julymagnus493 wrong. The answer is 4.

[@vladtepes97]

@@Scnottaken the correct answer is 4. the heretical answer is 3.

[@MsAnpassad]

I heard on good authority that he got inspired by Snow white, you know "Census, census on the wall, do I have the most golden toilet of them all?"

[@spritemon98]

That is definitely a very "important" thing to know

[@stephenj1118]

Census workers should get paid more for dealing with people’s bs😂

[@asadmatsumoto8911]

They make 30 an hr

[@meevluv]

@@asadmatsumoto8911 No they do not. They make 16-23 dollars an hr

[@asadmatsumoto8911]

meevluv well they advertised 30

[@meevluv]

@@asadmatsumoto8911 if they meant "up to 30" that would be true. You would have to be a team leader so you'd be training others and driving ppl to take the census.

[@enchainedtreasures]

@@asadmatsumoto8911 No $22 in NY...

[@kylewollman2239]

Mickey being counted in the census was foreshadowing of Citizens United.

[@sirdeadlock]

Ouch, man. Very ouch.

[@chezmoi42]

Disney Fact.

[@A_Bag_of_Potatoes]

It's funny after Citizens United ruling the efforts to divide us went into overdrive.

[@redblkgirl99]

@Drew Taylor the 14th Amendment???? The one that gives us citizenship at birth??

[@duncanvannorden278]

“It’s not illegal, I checked. It is perfectly legal to have a hard drive filled with pictures of hamsters in speedos”

[@roguishpaladin]

Coming on the heels, last week, of his song making a joke about furries fucking animals (which, again, is not true, that's zoophiles), this is especially amusing.

[@michaelsparkson]

@@roguishpaladin You've done some research of your own it seems.

[@couragekarnga8735]

Never thought I'd hear anyone say that.

[@cheeseballgooberpants3591]

Courage Karnga The internet does that.

[@TheLibermania]

@@roguishpaladin You didn't get that part in his song. Bob Murray claimed that a giant squirrel (obviously a guy in a suit, a "furry") told him to eat shit. So he tries to fuck with the squirrel (Mr. Nutter Butter) by suing them.

[@dc6227]

The only highlight of any Monday is the notification that Last Week Tonight uploaded a video.

[@pampillone]

In the 80s i wasn't born yet and I'm not even American, but that 1980 Census commercial makes me feel nostalgic and warms my heart. You can feel the optimism and the happiness of a simpler time

[@kineticstar]

Stand up and be counted! Stand and be recognized as a person and not just a number. United We Stand!

[@thetman0068]

> "...be counted" > "...be...a person and not just a number." Choose one dude

[@emamathers8148]

Did you just sting

[@cottoncatt1186]

Neh, the only true counting that matters is being counted as a person by Gilgamesh.

[@issuesexplained681]

Ray Martin, I mean technically you are a number as your personal details are kept confidential. 🤷‍♂️

[@chethanchandra3665]

This episode made me happy because there was an actual viable solution

[@ascetic3312]

Fun fact: The lead singer of that 1980's census song (the bearded guy at the start) was Glenn Yarbrough, and he also sang many of the songs in the 1977 Hobbit animated movie.

[@stephanies3246]

Ascetic 😮

[@dma69nyc]

Cool.

[@bellakagamine]

the census has reps trying to hire students at my college right now, they're offering to pay like $18/hr plus gas or bus fare for you to go take interviews. the reps seem honestly kind of desperate, like they can't find nearly enough people to do the census this year.

[@HeadCannonPrime]

3% unemployment. they CAN'T find enough people to do the census.

[@JLeww69]

it's up to $23 where i am

[@batshevadueck7770]

would totally do it, honestly. sounds like fun, I'm not even kidding. would be a cool way to meet people

[@babyboo9252]

bkLEGION3000 What a difference 5 months makes

[@meme-lu2yu]

Nobody: 40 year old dude at an old lady: yOuR gOiNg tO rApE mE

[@kappadarwin9476]

Makes me curious about the comments of that video,

[@wrxzboost]

there's a second wave of the MeToo movement coming - and this time the roles will be reversed!

[@margaritam.9118]

Brofessor _ Remember, they can’t rape you if they don’t know your name!

[@renatomelloduba1014]

@@margaritam.9118 Haha, exactly, if they only have your adress you are safe.

[@Luminethereploid]

@@margaritam.9118 What if I give them a fake name?

[@talhadawood7931]

Donald Trump: Says anything John Oliver: (Shaking head) "Ok so there's obviously a lot to unpack here"

[@wirelesmike73]

But, of course, when it comes to Trump, there obviously IS a lot to unpack. Just look at him - and when I say that, of course, I'm implying he's fat. I mean, let's be honest; He looks like someone who lives on a strict diet of pudding and drinkable - cheese.

[@carterwood4197]

*a lot

[@wirelesmike73]

@@carterwood4197 Indeed.

[@Muyanov]

@@wirelesmike73 is that your best oliver impression? hAeliEriUouS

[@loganmc163]

@@wirelesmike73 did you just make a sizeist joke aimed at someones obesity? Youre no better than the disgusting human you were trying to insult, you loser.

[@blossumgang1357]

I actually really liked the census ad from the 80’s

[@typacsk]

It's got a weird sort of charm.

[@williambaldwin9068]

I'm just glad bill Cosby wasnt in it. the crying Native American guy didn't know the words tho :(

[@bent404]

John, your determination to bring to light issues that go unspoken of keeps me sane in this crazy world. What am I going to do for 3 months?! Enjoy your break.

[@anne-droid7739]

What a tragically missed opportunity to point out that it was a *census taker* whose liver Hannibal Lecter ate with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

[@truetuesday4]

Census Man! The leader of Minnesota’s justice league. Also members: Paul Bunyan, Babe the Blue Ox, a loon, your friend’s dad whose hobbies include fishing and lawn care, the sheriff from Fargo, a hockey mom, and Carl.

[@mattdylla3225]

Our only hope against the mosquito hoard.

[@killingtime4444]

Fuck carl

[@Cega1985]

Fuckin Carl

[@lukebrewder9759]

Why is it always Carl

[@molly-zx9cr]

How could you forget the Great Hot Dish?

[@spacecore94]

Ah, the Olsen joke, how I have missed thee

[@aknopf8173]

It was kind of nostalgic. Didn't expect that.

[@ryankountz9752]

One of my favorite running gags.

[@nedcurfman3486]

spacecore94 what joke? All I heard was a man exposing the truth about the biggest coverup since Watergate.

[@couragekarnga8735]

Someday he'll make them confess!

[@nicholasfarrell5981]

Courage Karnga make *her* confess, you mean.

[@bradle4162]

Just finished working for the Census. Let me tell you, I've had so many people who make collecting information a living hell.

[@lunga3000]

"I became Census Man when..." I had to pause from laughter at that point!!!

[@zeroburn315]

"(when)... I got a paper cut from a radioactive census form, giving me all the powers of a census."

[@schrodingersgat4344]

...my parents were murdered and raped ( in that order) by a loon with a camera.

[@christophersantibanez3489]

I thought it was in Florida. Am I the only one who thought that?

[@schrodingersgat4344]

@Bigfoot Self Important people with cameras. That's who made Census Man. that was his mother in that clip we saw.

[@MasterGeekMX]

"Use the computers of the world or stuff" Did you know that IBM was founded to make machines to help compute the census back in 1890?

[@PtiteNeurone]

Yep, blew my mind in computer history class! The first tabulating machine by Herman Hollerith for the 1890 census.

[@alexanderjuergens784]

Too bad the 1890 Census all burned up.

[@michaeldriggers7681]

Is that true? Fascinating

[@Thewinner312]

@MGMX Obviously what Trump said was stupid. But I think overall he is actually right on this one (surprisingly). A census is not the only way to count population. The government has tax records, home registrations, birth records, drivers license, past census data, etc. So they already have a pretty good idea anyway, a census is just needed to make it more accurate. Doing this every 10 years for 15 billion dollars just for some accuracy seems excessive. Keep in mind that partial censusses are also possible and practiced by many countries. That is sufficient to determine how much (and which way) your existing data is off, which is pretty much sufficient.

[@chazdomingo475]

@@Thewinner312 Compiling all the separate databases you just mentioned into meaningful data would probably be more expensive than just doing a fucking census. Some people don't file taxes. Not everyone owns a home. Birth records don't cover people who die. They would have to be matched with death certificates. Huge headache. Not everyone drives, etc. etc.

[@meh9607]

John: "*if* i ever die"

[@gff1649]

I'm working on cloning!

[@couragekarnga8735]

John Oliver, king of trolls!

[@wickedamoeba8719]

Bold of us to assume he’s mortal.

[@markmoncada6994]

Bob Murrayy........ where are youuuu?

[@elcomesselink1793]

Disney will never have John play in their movies ever again😆😂

[@jonathanbaker3307]

And that's a Disney fact!

[@enchainedtreasures]

Wait....He was in one?

[@elcomesselink1793]

@@enchainedtreasures he voiced the bird Zazu in the Lion King live action remake.

[@radiofuel2733]

He was also Wax Sherlock Holmes on Gravity Falls. He's not getting hired for any cartoons either

[@gamingman2720]

enchainedtreasures zazu in lion king remake

[@suzannechazin7393]

One thing that would have made this episode a tiny bit more useful: a public service message in Spanish assuring immigrants that they don't have to fear the census because there's no citizenship question.

[@orlock20]

Census workers are not medical workers and so are not covered by the Geneva convention nor U.S. law. ICE can pose as census workers while arresting people.

[@suzannechazin7393]

@@orlock20 Wow--I didn't know that. I certainly wouldn't put it past this administration.

[@tonyonyoutube2651]

yeah... i can’t believe they neglected the vast spanish-only speaking Last Week Tonight audience. 🙄

[@AggieNC]

@XDigsX 13 They CANNOT use any census information. That is STRICTLY illegal. So EVERYONE should fill out the census otherwise the administration gets what they always wanted more political power by increasing Republican voting power.

[@AggieNC]

@Luís Filipe Andrade I wasn't talking about illegal residents. I was referring to legal citizens of Latin heritage. Those people are afraid of the Census and they shouldn't be, but they are because we have a government willing to break laws and punish non-whites.

[@IdiotCinema]

Fun fact- John filled out his census as a talking toucan.

[@bob3007]

Damn it, I was gonna make a penguin joke

[@JOMFSE]

Disney fact?

[@kirkjohnson2924]

@@JOMFSE *AHA AHA*

[@kineokami]

@@JOMFSE yes Disney Fact

[@mookinbabysealfurmittens]

@@JOMFSE OP EDIT, QUICK!

[@love-hammer]

Low level government employees are like fast food workers with a good retirement plan. Be nice to them ffs. Edit: Apparently the benefits aren't good either.

[@johncianchetti8989]

10 year census workers are part time and temporary, so they don't even get that. They can't even use the position to help enter other federal jobs.

[@CIARUNSITE]

There are zero benefits for the Census employees knocking on your door.

[@Glornak]

A thumbs up for you sir. Don't be a douche to the person taking your order at a fast food restaurant too. They don't get paid enough to deal with your crap.

[@ThelastArchdemon47]

He is absolut right, we all should find them beat them up for doing this job

[@o76923]

They get a whopping $11/hour with no benefits around me. You should see how excited they are about that in their mailer looking for census workers.

[@geckoladyemma]

I just love how because John is so time restricted, every sentence in the script is so perfectly written to keep you engaged and make the point. Incredibly precise, hilarious op-ed

[@phenix79]

Holy crap, John knocked it out of the park on this one "One for pee, one for poops. One for guests, one for groups."

[@michaelopp5389]

phenix79 there have been census long forms in the past that asked for plumbing information. www.census.gov/history/pdf/1950_housing_questionnaire.pdf

[@mikegreiner5711]

michael opp is this an attempt to validate something drumpf said? Because if it is you’re on the wrong video comment section

[@elomoose1169]

"Holy crap" Was that a pun???

[@margaretkennedy2520]

An incomplete census is effectively taxation without representation.

[@generaljellyroll8737]

If your under 18 and have a job then your getting taxed without being able to vote. Taxation without representation

[@OneEyeShadow]

@Arwyn No more military?

[@LoLchilled09]

Arwyn how so?

[@tarod6699]

General JellyRoll if you’re under 18 you are an idiot and the rest of us all agreed (and we all at some point were under 18) that you should not be allowed that power.

[@wolfemooney7188]

I knew I should have gone to bed two minutes ago. At this point Jon knows he’s ruining us. We don’t have a choice anymore

[@itsmesaumya]

Indeed, the king in the North ruined us

[@no_peace]

I'm at 3 hours :(

[@couragekarnga8735]

And I wouldn't have it any other way!

[@utkarsharyan]

@SceneMissingFilms ok boomer

[@wolfemooney7188]

@SceneMissingFilms ok boomer

[@ReaverTube]

Love the thought of the graphic designer going home and telling his wife how he spent his day photoshopping speedo's onto photos of hamsters :) I want a job like that!!!

[@eileene.5870]

Or maybe it's a woman going home to tell her husband about her day. #DesigningWomen, #Feminism 🤭

[@mrjack08722]

@@eileene.5870 Or maybe its a woman going home and telling her wife about her day. #LGBTQ #LesbianDesigners 🤭

[@Typheus]

@@mrjack08722 Or maybe it's a hamster going home to tell their spouse. #RodentRights #HamsterDesigners

[@mrjack08722]

@@Typheus Shiiieeet right. Sorry for being so human centric.

[@BrotherKnowledge.]

Librarian: "So far there is... one... that I can vouch for." Doesn't that mean that *nobody* that actually works *in* the library filled it out as well? Cause... 😂😂😂

[@thomasr7129]

There may be some silly rule against them filling it out... (In the test.)

[@sergiocalderon815]

@@thomasr7129 probably want to see how many non library employed residents fill it out

[@21coute]

He can vouch for them because it was him.

[@delorbb2298]

I don't think it was the real thing, but yeah. An employee could have filled it out to see if it works.

[@EricLing64]

@@thomasr7129 I would guess programs like that have a test function that the employees can run through but doesn't send any data just to make sure the interface isn't bugging out. And they don't want to compel the employees to do anything more so most just don't.

[@unitedspacepirates9075]

Disney fact : Incase anyone asks, your roof is made of a mixture of tar, wood, plaster, and assorted flavoured gummie bears

[@totalishnc]

this is the exact kind of comment you expect on a LastWeekTonight video

[@Trismegustis]

Bouncing here and there and everywhere!

[@skuzzyj]

My gummies aren't assorted. They all taste like Scotch. Cheap scotch. No quality stuff here. My house was built during the bush administration and if you know houses, you know that's.... Not great.

[@fdub301]

Thanks for the info my dude

[@gusmonster59]

Or tell them what it is made of using only the scientific names for everything.

[@hauntedhouse7827]

Im a recruiter for the census and want to thank you for helping to combat the misinformation being spread. Some of the conspiracy theories i have heard are mind boggling.

[@emor6100]

Murderer!!! JK. Thanks for your service

[@freetolook3727]

Hard to believe that 1980 was 40 years ago.

[@Craftymom1o19]

GO TO YOUR ROOM!

[@rodney2x48]

It’s been a while since he used that Olsen Twins joke.

[@henrywilliams3355]

Yep. That totally true one

[@zepenance9571]

It was over due

[@trevorhast5367]

Twins? There is only one

[@ironicdivinemandatestan4262]

*Olsen TWIN joke.

[@JaharNarishma]

I thought LWT forgot about the twin. It was recurrent in a few in a row and then there was silence.

[@brandondavidson4085]

"One to pee, one to poop, one for guests, and one for groups" is my financial goals.

[@mechanicpluto2430]

Brandon Davidson Is it bad I took the time to count all the toilets in my house after John said that

[@FiestaGaomon]

@@mechanicpluto2430 so how much?

[@mechanicpluto2430]

Fabian Balderas Surprisingly 4

[@FiestaGaomon]

@@mechanicpluto2430 XD

[@ookazi1000]

This seems like one of those episodes that should get the MLM treatment and be have spanish subtitles.

[@adrielsebastian5216]

Who else think that the census song at 0:29 is very much an earworm? I mean, it's really beautiful and somewhat wholesome but it's been stuck in my head for the better part of a week

[@TimEssDub]

"Unconstitutional" "You keep using that word: It doesn't think what you think it means."

[@couragekarnga8735]

Ah, American education!

[@samspiano7070]

*mean

[@simmerke1111]

Thought pretty much all American culture was based on lack of education?

[@FratterKnox]

The word doesn’t think? Incredible observation there Tim.

[@haruhirogrimgar6047]

@@timmtheilig6827 20th Century Eugenics also wants to reclaim their ideology.

[@lauren8135]

"How many toilets do they have?"- the president. This is such a weird episode of the twilight zone, and it has officially been going on for 3 years too long.

[@ElizabethGreene]

It turns out that actually is a thing. The long form census questionnaire asks if you own or rent, the number of bathrooms you have, the type of heat you have, utility costs, employment status, mental health, and a laundry list of other questions. www.census.gov/history/pdf/2000_long_form.pdf

[@ElizabethGreene]

@@retched It varies over the years, I only looked at a couple of them. It's interesting how they changed.

[@JeevesReturns]

Wake me when it’s over. The job he’s incapable of I mean. Elect anything else. A stick. A cinderblock. An apple. Anything.

[@owlblocksdavid4955]

@@JeevesReturns if he was INCAPABLE of it why has the federal government functioned for the past three years?

[@owlblocksdavid4955]

It was a joke. John Oliver should be familiar with those. Trump, and I don't think he's a very smart person, was joking when it came to this. Sometimes he says stupid stuff that isn't a joke. This was a joke.

[@avengermkii7872]

Libertarian: It's unconstitutional Constitution: Am I a joke to you?

[@mandlerparr1]

Libertarians are what happens when you take a conservative, feed them lead paint, have them do whipits and then kick them in the head.

[@ericreese7792]

Many libertarians actually think the Constitution is of no value because no living person has ratified it.

[@lefty2084]

@@ericreese7792 or maybe because it was written by only white men at a pub getting wasted.

[@tabithak.9923]

@@ericreese7792 that's a much better point than I've ever heard a libertarian make

[@TheSpokenWizard]

Said no libertarian ever!

[@creepycustard2383]

USA: You wanna... maybe... do the census? Maybe? Australia: YOU WILL DO THE CENSUS OR PERISH IN THE PROCESS

[@Gareethtw]

Yeah now that it's online the tone of what they leave to remind you that you are legally obligated to do it gets more menacing . I guess rumours of Canadian politeness is a country wanting to be less terrifying than it's census reminders

[@ezraalbarra4045]

John Oliver is a legend. He is an inspiration to always be brave to say what is right! Good on him

[@himynameisfeli]

"I have some candy bars" -Christopher Waken, SNL census

[@blazodeolireta]

with his Sleepy Hollw's teeth?

[@mandarinduck]

"I hAve ... some ... candy bARs."

[@Soul_underground]

Oh boy... I'm bad with numbers... maybe... 80?

[@sea_triscuit7980]

And a bobcat haha

[@himynameisfeli]

Then..just the two of us.. Boy..i really overshot, with the 80.

[@hoodfella166]

It’s crazy how John is giving a political science class on tv/KZbin. This is free college material here

[@MrScaramanga16]

I'm just glad I got confirmation on having the correct amount of toilets