The Codependency Cure Requires Trauma Resolution, Which Creates Self-Love Abundance. Kristin Walker

[@battlehymnoftheempath3610]

I am so looking forward to the new book. The narcissist is no longer the problem. We are the problem and we are also our own solution.

[@mimib6893]

Battle Hymn- Well said!!!

[@shatteredsquare]

👍

[@myFloweryLife]

you are right 👍

[@SuspendedLogic]

Wow!!! this is exactly where I am in my recovery. Experiencing codependent friends not getting me anymore and narcs not attracted to me anymore. Incredible.

[@ZhekaTrololo]

What "not getting"means? I'm non-native English speaker and I don't understand this. You mean they don't irritate you anymore or what?

[@luisherrera5101]

Narottama Panitz how did u do it I'm in process

[@effortless4588]

Don’t just leave us with no answers bro 😭

[@stephiedrown795]

I wish you all the best in ypur recovery.❤

[@robertholmes8917]

This guy is fantastic. Watched a few of his videos. Very intelligent and remarkably genuine man. This has saved me thousands of dollars not having to go to a psychologist. Wish i could meet him to say thank you in person.

[@RossRosenberg]

+Rob Holmes Thank you Rob

[@robertholmes8917]

Ross Rosenberg what an honour. You replied to me. Thank You very much. I admire your counsel tremendously. I am from Australia and am 41 year old man. I discovered your videos and for the first time in my life I have begun to understand things about myself and relationships that were either hidden or that I was in denial. You opened my eyes and heart to a great many things. Ross you were the only person in the world that ever spoke to me about these very personel and intimate insights. You have changed my life. I truly appreciate everything that you are doing. The next step is to buy your book. Next year I am beginning a Diploma in Youth Counselling. I wont go into my past but you have given me the knowledge to find a sense of freedom and peace I have not felt in years. Wishing you a wonderful Christmas Holiday and I genuinely hope you have a great New Year. P.S I am sure many people around the world have been enlightened by you. Ross you should be very proud of yourself. You are a humane man. Much respect. Robert

[@guacaquio]

Paul Elam is great too

[@RantTherapist]

Same brother, same. He is incredibly genuine.

[@RantTherapist]

Good people are so rare these days. It's nice to see that there are people who genuinely care about others.

[@beccyreece6704]

Powerful …. I have complex trauma from being kidnapped. Been suchhhhhhh a draining recovery. And - I have so much shame and people pleasing, it’s a flight response to want to connect to others to feel safe - but it’s burnt me out and I meet narcissists over and over. Time for change. This is my year to finally fix this ♥️ Pray for me ya’ll

[@spicychai]

You can do it Beccy! Wishing you peace and freedom

[@jacksonpollock3519]

I find you bold for even sharing this. You have my sincere prayers, you will surely attract different in 2025. Everything will change for you.

[@markedwards1900]

its the inner child fears that keep us stuck in codependancy the recovery involves realising we never loved ourselves and we learn we can love ourselves we grow and feel better

[@sarahvministry]

Right around 11 minutes. When you said you start healing and standing up for yourself, they don't connect with you. Explains my life the past couple of years because of a particular narc who seems to totally despise me.

[@sabinajohnson7402]

God....I just had the clarrity of what am becoming. You're a real therapist. Divine soul thank you a million times. You're awesome. Great

[@RossRosenberg]

You are so welcome Sabina.

[@sabinajohnson7402]

Thank you so much Sir. More blessings to you.

[@theresemeggitt8455]

The Narcissist is extremely good at spoiling himself I found treating themselves like they deserve the very best etc etc..

[@casteretpollux]

Used to be called a selfish and egotistical person

[@AwesomeMe47]

INDEED!!!!!!!

[@theresemeggitt8455]

You have to run from & ignore selfish people. They will never change & don’t give a shit about you or anyone else.

[@kstar6508]

Ross congratulations! I am completely fascinated by your work. I am recovering from a narcissistic abuse and reading your book. Many so called "empath" must read your book. I used to consider myself an empath but now I found out there is another name for that. Long life to you. Shalom.

[@RossRosenberg]

Thanks for sharing! Hopefully you can also consider exploring Ross's full-length video seminars on the subject that can help you: www.selfloverecovery.com/collections/video-seminars-downloads

[@goldangel029]

I can be alone and not feel lonely.

[@amberscottcmt7400]

Wow... As soon as you said you were gonna bust through the myth of the 12 step program that one will always be a codependent, I subscribed. You are speaking my language. I did over 20 years in personal development before getting into a 12 step program. My sponsor was confused by my deep upset at the notion of having an incurable disease. She said it usually brings relief for most... I guess because they can see it as not their fault, but the word incurable does not exist for me. I wouldn't even link that word to cancer, even though most would. When it comes to our core wounds we can absolutely heal them. I know so many people on the other side of theirs and yes, they still have the memories, but not the wounds anymore. I swear, I've done so much work to figure out this self love thing, and it feels like I need to find the secret decoder ring to decipher the password that unlocks the door to the hidden hallway that leads to the temple where the secret formula in lost scrolls of self love are being kept... My only measurement of how I'm doing is found by observing for improvement in my relations with others... Because I think I'm aware of the trauma and I feel that I've forgiven it already, yet I still have emotional flashbacks, so none of my efforts to heal have gotten to the root. I think you might know the way to the path that leads out of the darkness. I'm going to follow you for awhile and see where it takes me.

[@RossRosenberg]

Thanks for sharing Amber. For more information on Ross's resources, please visit: www.selfloverecovery.com/

[@suzesinger6762]

FINALY.....THINKING...YOUR OWN... AUTHENTIC THOUGHTS... IS SOOOO FREEEEEING !!!!

[@visionvixxen]

I want this in this lifetime ❤️

[@mahoganyshanae6116]

Sometimes it's good to go through your pain in order to heal !

[@tomsalzano8120]

Wow -- that is so profound, Ross. The 'inner-comfort-level' experienced between Narc & SLDD. Thank you for sharing !

[@theresemeggitt8455]

I still have a lot of work to do. The loneliness after the abuse yikes! The different emotions you go through up one day down the next... my therapist says do the opposite of what is bringing you down. Good advice.

[@silentgrove7670]

Being unloved as a child creates a huge hole that still looks to be filled. Even after many years of therapy and when I have been solid with myself it can sometimes manifest suddenly when you find any kind of connection with a person. It is challenging to be alone so much of the time lately. In the past I feel I handled it better than now. I goes days without human contact at all. It's hard.

[@kaitlin6300]

Thank you so much for your work and for sharing your knowledge with us!

[@RossRosenberg]

Glad it was helpful!

[@gogumarshmallow]

im in the process of getting healthy and i cant believe the different reactions from the healthy vs unhealthy people in my life. thank you for the video

[@ciattathompson7461]

I'm reading your book now. I'm starting this healing journey and it's so challenging and I'm loving most days and hating it others.

[@sbeast64]

You're doing great work Ross, this was a really clear explanation of the problem and solution.

[@LosAngelesLaura]

Yes!!!!

[@lovelylace8132]

This makes sense too why now that I have gotten healthy in self love and moved forward in my life and started setting boundaries he doesn’t like it. And I’ve known this whole time but this explains it so much more clearly. Thank you again 🙏🏼

[@septemberdawnluketz]

It's hard to want to go to a doctor when I had a mother who was constantly keeping me sick to get her own weird form of attention every time I was hospitalized and she made me believe there was something wrong with me every time she hurt me, my feelings, my thought process, and my ability to become the strong independent adult I always know I am able to be. She wouldn't even let me do my own laundry. Which I am doing right now as I write this, but if I were to tell her, mom, my laundry is in the wash right now... She still won't believe me that I did it on my own even when it washed, dried, folded, and neatly arranged in my dresser drawers by myself.

[@Selflovematters4life]

The real cure starts with facing the pain. I recall the first thing a therapist asked me...I told her I wanted to heal my past because I knew it was the reason as to where I was at the present time. Lots of pain. I remember a lot...which I'm glad. It made it easier to feel and revisit.

[@christianmetalpwns]

adrenna1973 ohh yeaah.. I know what you're saying. I'm a 24 year old male and I cried so much like never before but I'm glad I went through it.

[@Selflovematters4life]

christianmetalpwns that's awesome....I'm starting to get on the other side of it....trusting myself a lot more and simply not settling or sacrificing myself.

[@albertcassler8763]

adrenna1973 face fears and learn to relax

[@elhadjdiallo633]

Your right about that yoyr episide sounds accurate and rational .... Its never too late to become what you might have been in this univeree... I wish yall the vedt in life ....

[@viv3475]

Thank you for your words and the knowledge you are sharing to help the world. You are planting hope in those that have lost every bit of it. God bless you always. ❤️

[@RossRosenberg]

You are so welcome. 🙏

[@reg8297]

Went thru childhood abuse it lasted my entire life the life long effects I sufferred from extreme terror fear fright anxiety cause these were the only feelings I could express from living in such an extreme worrying environment long-term everything got affected in my life went into abusive relationship thought by leaving it i would be ok but in fact I wasn't after I left he continued his evil abuse brainwashing control into my children the effects of that evil lasted twenty years I'm now feeling even more post traumatic stress from the amount of years I have had to be exposed to such insanity ive gone to counselling yet I still feel traumatised emotionaly over my life being destroyed

[@mimib6893]

Reg: if it's any consolation I'm right there with you......long hard journey, but the alternative is worse to never understand why we are in crazy town with crazy people - at least mow we have a chance!!! Peace.

[@eliexo2525]

Ross Rosenberg...you make me cry, but in a good way...thank you 💖

[@jules179]

Brilliant ....I'm in recovery and struggle to be around codependent friends ! It, all starting to make a lot of sence . Thanks

[@theresemeggitt8455]

I noticed a woman that introduced herself to me as a Narc! She came to the trash yelled because someone put their trash from apartment in her bin. Then she stares like a Narc you know that stare. I'm like oh no I won't be your friend sorry see a Narc from a mile away now. Lol...

[@narcismebelgie]

So grateful for another powerful video. And thank you for explaining the six stages of self love recovery, I have gone through all of them! Bless your heart.

[@simev500]

I can see you ARE very passionate to educate others. We thank you.

[@Irkeee]

Thank you for your high dedication to quality work and for being such lovely and great person. I wish you all the best in life with all my heart. You are a precious gift to the world.

[@melsouza4400]

Thank you! Is making even more since now.

[@KatE-ez4bt]

Thank God for Ross Rosenberg.

[@RossRosenberg]

Thank you for your support Kat

[@asstanley8438]

Interesting. I had a friend who had had very similar experiences to me but she is still in contact with her X. I got tired of having the same conversations and I noticed she had deleted me as her friend off facebook. The old me would have gone back to her to plead ''what did I do!?'' but I decided to just leave it because I recognised that we are in different places and I prefer where I am.

[@roxydina7615]

great visual with magnet...love the coninuum graph..thank you

[@jeffreychavey4161]

I have an entire cadre of narcissists to be dealt with, starting with 5 siblings

[@dottyp137]

Ahh I was really enjoying this and then it was cut off. I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd, I know why, I’ve experienced some horrendous flashbacks that I have no memory of. (I’ve been reliving them). Things are starting to make sense, and this helped a lot. Thank you 🙏🏻😊 x

[@Coloradonow1963]

Thank you!

[@agb7676]

Just finished listening and all I can say is....Incredible explanation. Now that i know...i have somewhere to start...thank you

[@4myshasta]

A new book? I'm looking forward to it! Wish you could be my Dr. or at least find someone LIKE you! Thank you for all the information. It has helped tremendously.

[@Powergirl838]

Wow Ross that was so good explained everything so perfectly

[@brandonruse1088]

I really enjoy all your videos. I guess part of me is scared to delve into the trauma that I have really pushed down and compartmentalized. I know therapy is very important... also trying to slowly build boundaries and cut off negative people.

[@KCGrant-wj4ts]

I am a 57 year old female that became aware of your videos about 2 years ago as a result of a relationship with a very accomplished sociopath. Now, as a result of being shortly (3mo) with a narcissist realizing that and knowing my mother to be one as well, I consider myself to be a 3-4 on your SLDD recovery scale. I have viewed many of your videos. I am trying to learn what you mean by The Trauma; is it a specific incident in my psyche or, an accumulation of the years of "abuse" of being the trophy child. Can you recommend a video that explores how I know how to get to my trauma? I have become fearless about living a love filled self and I am anxious to have the resolution you have discovered. Thank you immensely for you seeking a path to a solution/cure for SLDD.

[@leighmather8099]

I’d been asking Jesus and he led me to hear you and WOWWWW WHAT A BREAKTHROUGH OF UNDERSTANDING 🙏🥰🥊

[@haihai5293]

Super, you are the best!

[@holisticenergymedicineappr7898]

Totally agree! At the beginning I felt cruel about not smiling back to strangers in the streets. Now I am realizing, I feel those ones who are fake. So I guess I am better than I thought. I am still trying to figure out who were those who kept me away from trusting my own guts. Thank you soo much!!

[@soulmas520]

I love that he keeps calling them “tapes”

[@soulmas520]

@Deb Harris I read his space trilogy and they advertised that book in all of them. Maybe I should read it

[@pagen5219]

i went to ga from va and did a tramua program, it is s must for survivors of trauma

[@abcabc-sn7kw]

I really need this. Thank you!

[@annatkinson2197]

This is the point God has brought me to now - thank you for the confirmation.

[@elizabethseiden8386]

Hi Ross! Great video! I'm going to get The Human Magnet Syndrome. Brilliant work! I hope to get healthy after reading your book! This is music to my ears!

[@misssattva6042]

Great talk! Thank you.

[@sunshinenyc007]

YS F

[@KimiW]

Thank you for making these info sessions available. I find it most helpful, even logical although still a bit baffling.

[@onlythetruth208]

The interviewer was so annoying during this entire interview with her unnecessary comments. Whoever was bumping around in the background should have been told to stop because all that stuff was so distracting from what Ross was saying. This is great infornation and is so good and so needed. Thank you Ross.

[@SherStug]

Ross: Is it also possible to have had those negative tapes (words) in your head but you were not scared to be alone, you just simply hated those negative thoughts that brought you into feeling worthless. Cause my experience was that I did not wanted to change because I was scared of loosing people or was afraid that they would not love me (accepted at a young age already that I could not control my environment in that), but I just wanted to break free from those negative feelings that were holding me back in life. Also my ex was too covert to see "on time" that he was actually trying to holding me back too all this time (guess jealous and afraid that I was gonna recover)... Love your work, such an Angel in this time...Namasté!

[@Virginia-fx6dp]

Love the message! The woman in the background as the peanut gallery is annoying on the audio.

[@Houseitch]

LOL at first I thought he owned a parrot!

[@myFloweryLife]

she frightened me at first then i realized she was a human 😂

[@ivye.3699]

love that, "circuit breaker."

[@dianaramirez1067]

Thank you so much for helping me through your fantastic work. I'm a spanish speaking person and thank God I was able to learn english. But, I'm very concern about the amount of people who need to know your message but can't understand english. Is there a chance that you could translate your books into spanish and if so when can we get it? Thanks so much for changing my life. God bless you!🙏

[@thelittlegirlwholovedthewo3044]

Yes! Love the visual Magnets example

[@LinYouToo]

Your magnet example explains why a couple of my longest running friendships did not last when I began therapy and began my healing journey.

[@lentilgirl3000]

Great video! Thank you.

[@RossRosenberg]

You are welcome Anne! Thanks for the support.

[@trispr]

i needed this so much. thank you.

[@spicychai]

It gives me butterflies to think I can be free of the horrible/ addicting feeling of OVERloving others and become self love abundant.

[@ValidityJ]

Where do I start!? Great video. Grateful for your channel. I'm "stuck". Trying to figure this whole N.A. thing out. Divorced one N, and then an even nastier N shows up in a boss of mine - who all my co-workers comment how I'm a favorite of his to pick on. It's been a year of hell for me. I recognize that I attract these kinds of people in my life. I know the source of where my childhood loneliness and abandonment feelings come from. I want to be healed of this so I can quit attracting these terrible people to me. Thank you for your channel.

[@reg8297]

Have u found anything that has helped u and moved things to a better place I've gone thru same

[@sanctusignis9746]

Look into codependent "tells", speech patterns,body posture, excess conscietiousness,excess apologising,excess gratitude... Sharks(Predatory people/abusive people) can see and sense these out of you... I'm working on those as well. Good luck...

[@niamoore84]

can you do a podcast and take people's questions? that would be dope if you did that

[@llegumesv5492]

agree i would love that

[@pauladsilva9374]

He told me after his first discard....' there are men out there who will take advantage of sweet nice people like you'.... and then he did..... I didnt have to go far for someone to abuse me.... he told me everything he was about to do to me(by projecting).. then did it... and told me I was doing it.... if I was not in such a vulnerable place in my life... I would have never tolerated such abuse..... he is the worse creature I have ever met..... and I attached myself to him......

[@whiteshoshanim]

Dr Rosenberg, thank you for all your videos they really help me to understand covert narcissist (my ex?/partner). Do you think the covert narcissists can understand unconditional love and give that love to others? My ex(?) partner was so rigid and he always made the decision and I was the one who always had to accept. He only talked about him, his background, his childhood, his work, his family, his stories and his... his... his - never asked about me. Any slight of healthy criticism, he returned with ultimatum too many times (relationship over). Because I loved him very much I tolerated thinking that not everyone is perfect. Now I think objectively not using my heart, I realize this has been emotional abuse. It's really heartbreaking. It's almost Christmas and New Year and he went to his country (Germany) and not wanting to be with me. During the relationship, I have never felt that he genuinely cares about me. His words and actions were almost the extreme opposites.

[@cathy_clarinet]

Great videos Ross. Been binge watching thru them. I’m really missing connecting a few of the dots, and wish there was a way to finish connecting the pieces of the puzzle

[@victoriastallard]

I really don't Love myself again yet but I am working on it especially when I am alone more than not is when I have a little bit of Love back for myself. & Ross I Love your videos always right on target 😍 Love them all so far :) thank You :)

[@h.m.2347]

Am on the road to self love.. i aleays put others ahead. i gave my house out for a really small rent..i put their needs first to my own detriment. my weak boundaries cost me alot.

[@jazzlandry3885]

Wow this is incredible thankyou so much Ross

[@theresemeggitt8455]

Wow a lot to deal with Shame pathological loneliness the addiction... yikes! Freedom!

[@jacquelinewareing9981]

Thank you

[@marthaguevara7463]

Awesome. Thank you! and happy 2018!! 💖

[@cynth7616]

I'm reading your book right now. It is very painful and very enlightening. Thank you.

[@understandyourmind]

This guy is genius..

[@dinab8073]

Tome I agree

[@jazzlandry3885]

Tome I agree he is a genius

[@jennifersebits4574]

Amen to this!

[@phoenixrising33]

Love this! ❤️

[@giselasantiago1]

just brilliant

[@saulrobertson3789]

But why do I feel like the only therapist who could ACTUALLY help me is Ross Rosenberg himself

[@freetobemekelly8783]

I don’t know what the childhood trauma was. I am adept at closing off my emotions and have been since I was a child. I remember staring at my bedroom light switch and pretending to turn off my emotions by visualizing myself turning off the light switch. But I have no idea why that became a coping mechanism.

[@braveknight2000]

I'm not codependent anymore. Haven't been for years. I have very strong boundaries. But I'm just as miserable as I ever was.

[@robertholmes8917]

Shannon Phillips I may have an idea. What worked for me at least. I am 41 year old man from Australia. Suffered terrible misery from childhood. Went through adoption and sexual abuse from adopted brother and narcissist adopted mother. Exercise helped. Some sort of physical discipline. And consistency in exercise. Doesnt matter what you do. Anything from mild to intense. When you do physical activity it releases chemicals that remove stress hormones. Also you get out and socialise with others at the same time. Hope this helps.

[@ryanphillips5591]

I hope things work out for you I know exactly how you feel just take things one day at a time

[@reg8297]

How do u feel unhappy is it from life events

[@bereal2900]

Force yourself to "do" things. I used to rolled out of bed to go to an exercise group, and made and kept "girlfriend" dates. It gets better. Listen to Dr Ross and others.

[@sanctusignis9746]

Do more of what makes you happy,no matter how small or silly they are... And it is better to be miserable on your own than to be extra miserable coz a narc is projecting all their shit onto you...

[@Bruno-qx8nh]

great vídeo! id love to read this book

[@rosemaryburnside7112]

The person recording this is very distracting, commenting and coughing, she should keep quiet!

[@billieferrier826]

The person is very distracting commenting I totally agree she needs to be quiet

[@rickiilatino]

Yeah I keep thinking: "what's that noise?" And my cat is distracted too !

[@elhadjdiallo7533]

Rosemary Burnside to be straight forward with you you're hilarious ...... Who are you ?

[@SlickNic444]

If this could be re-recorded with her on mute it’d be easier to take in the message

[@kimmarlowe205]

Kristin Walker's comments of "umhmm", "yes" etc. were very irritating and distracting.

[@yuanliu2949]

agree

[@narcabusevictimgermany9687]

She sounds like a pig

[@TheFabricTeapot1]

@@narcabusevictimgermany9687 😂😁🤭

[@TheFabricTeapot1]

The most annoying thing ever.

[@dalmatianlady2067]

I am aware that my codependency is due to my childhood with both parents. I don't know the exact incident and I never really knew I did not love me for who I am. I do love myself now and am strong and the magnets don't join now. Do I really need to know the exact incident or can you heal knowing the above?

[@nina755]

Did u heal after all this years? B

[@nasimah5823]

Please, what is the name of the book about the 6 stages of healing from codependency?

[@RossRosenberg]

Nasmah, the book is still in process... the best alternative is the video seminar The Codependency Cure: www.selfloverecovery.com/collections/bestsellers/products/the-codependency-cure

[@nasimah5823]

@@RossRosenberg Thank you very much.

[@alexantravardaki6861]

i would love a video about codependency and depression and anxiety

[@RossRosenberg]

Alexantra, check out my seminar on codependency and others at www.selfloverecovery.com www.selfloverecovery.com/store/index.php?l=product_detail&p=3

[@Vitalgrooves]

I call it DYNAMIC INCREMENTAL PROGRESS...this organic healing process! Of which your info has been a part of...so thank you! 👍🏼😎💜

[@ducklife5497]

Omgoodness im just a few minutes in. I know I suffer from trauma and I so badly want to get to the root of why I always feel so hopeless, lost, alone, stuck etc etc stemming from my childhood but I cant remember most of what has happened in my life.

[@beautybybecca1843]

Your videos have been so helpful to me. I want to understand the source of what has caused my SLDD . Why do I have low self esteem ? I have not been able to figure it out. Does this also apply to borderline matching up w SLDD?

[@shadowkill546]

About the continuum of self theory, using the magnet syndrome, when a perfect co-dependent and a perfect narcissist meet up, what is the attraction characterized by? From my understanding, based on emotional hunger as described by Lisa and Robert Firestone, it is a deep anxiety driven need to fill a void of loneliness. That's when that clinging and chasing and fear of abandonment comes in. But what is healthy attraction magnetism characterized by? My understanding that it builds over time as people become more vulnerable with each other, and there is a sharing of core values.

[@efrolina]

Well ive been 18 years in psychological treatment and talked a lot about my childhood trauma but im still having the codependancy and self love disorted. I feel i will never find a way to recover.

[@RossRosenberg]

Thanks for the comment Tami. And don’t forget the healing power of self-love. It is possible and within reach! We just have to do the work! For more information on Ross's resources, you can visit his website www.selfloverecovery.com/ and blog humanmagnetsyndrome.com/hmsblog/

[@Gloria_All_Day]

I started getting healthy in marriage to a Narc, and that turned me off and turned him off. It was like the blinders were taken off my eyes. I no longer believe the lies and I started doing things I always wanted to do like going to the fair, and watching the parade. Listening to the radio when I drive and not be on the phone with the Narc until I arrived to work.

[@mswriter3612]

Im binge watching Ross videos. He should be a millionaire... Edit out the hosts audio?

[@ac80577]

good video.

[@thetravelingbelly1913]

Ross, is there a way that I can contact you via email perhaps? I would like to have some information on how I can participate in/support your work.

[@pattyfriedmann4674]

Ross, do you offer Zoom or Skype sessions for a fee? Thanks for considering.

[@k-lysbliss8875]

Great video! Thanks...loud noises (banging) at the back though..it was distracting. Thank you for sharing though :)

[@allisfaith]

2:40 yaaas!