The Daily Pidgin #76 - Roach Horror Stories

[@u4riahsc]

I was on a contract in Hawaii in 1988 and the first house we rented had geckos and 747s. I was sleeping on air mattress on the floor and could hear a soft squeaking noise. I turned on lights and geckos were all over the walls and ceiling. So I went to the kitchen and the 747s were all over the place. I screamed and one guy who grew up in Hawaii came running out from his room and said, “don’t make ‘em mad - dey fly and go for da head. We moved the next day.

[@erickim2025]

Great story Andy ,thanks for clarifying the B-52 name❤😂

[@EIBBOR2654]

Oh Andy, I know I'm late on this one, just found this site a few months ago. But I still remember you from back when stationed at Hickam AFB 1980-83. And I will never forget the B-52 cockroaches! My story has 2 parts. The first was soon after we got to Hickam and in Base Housing. One night, I was sound asleep about 02:00 in the morning, when my wife let out one piercing scream in my right ear. One of those buggers fell off the ceiling and into her long hair and flopped about getting all tangled up so bad I had to cut some of her hair to get it out. She screamed so loud I had problems hearing out of my right ear and the neighbors called the SP's (Security Police) and they showed up. After I told the SP's what had happened, showed them that B-52 Roach in some of the hair I cut off and that we just got stationed there, he laughed and said the same thing, Welcome to Hawaii. But I had lost part of my hearing in my right ear because of that. The second time was in 82 or early 83, but this time it was one Gecko that landed in her hair. Again it was early morning and she screamed in my ear with that lizard flopping around in her long hair. Thank God the neighbors didn't call the Base Cops that time. For years after that we had to sleep with the lights on at night and she would about spray the bedroom with a can of Raid almost to a fog an hour before bed. I thought she was going to poison us, the room always had a heavy smell of Raid bug spray! Even after we got back to the mainland, she was in shock over those buggers and still can't deal with big bugs or lizards in the house. There was one other time between those, but the situation, though extremely funny, is not something I can print here. After all those years, she still gets creeped out when I remind her of those experiences. I would love to visit Hawaii again, but I don't think the wife will go with me. And here is one bonus for you. The guys in Base Civil Engineering (CE) Squadron. They took care of the base facilities maintenance. They would joke about that if they had to open a Man Hole Cover, they would knock first and the Roached would open the cover for them. But only if they didn't mind human company. Oh the memories!

[@dani_k_808]

One summah high school time, I was in dis program called upward boun. We did one sleep ova wit one similah group from da mainlan. We all in da rec room tawking stories wen allovasudden dis girl staht freakin out!! We look n ask her how come she screamin? She pointed to one itty bitty kakaroach saying "that's the biggest I've ever seen!" We look at eachaddah den tell her "das nahtten, dey get waaaay biggah". We went back to our dorm wen was lights out. I no tink dey slep good dat nite 🤣🤣🤣

[@alohasmitty1310]

When we first move to Pearl City I remembah my muuda and fadda both no like the geckos in da house until da locals when tell them "no da geckos are good luck and they eat da B52's " so we had 3 in da house I remember , 1 in da bathroom behind the medicine cabinet, one in da living room behind one Elvis black velvet painting(it was 1967 so everyone have da kine) and then 1 "free agent" they was all over da place. When we stay watching Pogo and Checkers on TV we see on B52 come in da house and we just wait fa da gecko come out and false crack da bugga ! Mahalo as always for bring back da kine great memories, Live Aloha Every Day !!!

[@Luftmensch067]

+Mark Smith I loved those geckos, too, thinking they were keeping us safe! Tnch tnch tnch! (how do you spell gecko sounds!?)

[@maryanngames9353]

We had our share of kockaroaches here in Navy housing in Vallejo, CA, no shipyard now but in the late 60’s we lived in 2 different housing and they both came equipped with kockaroaches and plenty of them💕😊

[@ono147]

Visiting haole story about those 747's. Me and my surf pals visiting from Southern California in '78, we went into a small pizza joint in Honolulu, real small. The owners say "we don't have any meat to put on it",, we're hungry we say "OK". right then one 747 goes running by us, we all lift our feet, "HOLY S**" but, right behind it was the cook, rubber slipper in hand!! they get behind a curtain and we hear a "FWAPP"....... we all looked at each other and said "they got meat now!".

[@aaronbennett4644]

"Make sure not make like Free Willy"!! Still laughing!

[@68halima]

Oh man- cockahroaaaaach! LOL Many nights of my childhood were spent cowering in fear on my bed with the lights on cuz I heard the buggahs crawling around in the dark. One bamboocha roach even knocked over the furniture in my doll's house! LOL It left me traumatized for life.

[@rhulawolfette4465]

Wen I was little I would wake up early n watch Checkers and Pogo. I'm da only one awake so early in da morning. One time I wen see movement in da corner of my eye. Something small on da ground was headin my way fast. Sitting on my chain I brought my feet up and watched as this baby mouse was running for his life cause one giant cocaroach was chasing him. I don't know what was up wit dat but memory so burned into my mind. Loved your story, Andy. Mahalo for doing Daily Pigeon.

[@rhulawolfette4465]

Lol. Andy, Mahalo for doin Daily Pidgin.

[@maryanngames9353]

😂😂😂😂👍👍Love the Oklahoma roach story😂😂

[@YamahaYEP321S]

Gotta tell cane spider and centipede stories! Here's a b52 story. A few months ago, my dad and I moved my grandma to another place and it was a small studio so we took her sofa bed and dresser and put it in our backyard to sell it later. THAT NIGHT. I saw one of them buggahz on the ceiling and we called my dad to get it. He grabbed it and threw it outside. He went back upstairs. Again. We saw a roach crawling from the window to the ceiling. We called my dad. He whacked It with our roach swatter that I think is older than me. (It's a green yellow and red small slipper on a red plastic stick that says roach swatter or something like that. we actually bought it's a legit roach swatter from a store) he goes back upstairs again. This is NO JOKE. Three more come out. I look outside and you see them crawling on the dresser and the floor outside. They came from the dresser. My dad for the third time had to come get them. But one went missing. That's the one you gotta worry about. And for weeks. I would see them crawling on my window screen in my bathroom at night. They're so big. They rattle the screen when they run across. WHY did they all have to be B52. Why couldn't it be the small one that flies and the small ones that don't. Centipedes:Was in the kitchen with my mom I was cleaning the litter box talking to her. She was washing dishes. Luckily. I'm facing her cause I see something on the ceiling from the corner of my eye. I look. It's this long black thing. I yell. Centipede!! And she turns around and we look at this thing hanging from the light and it drops. It actually went PAK! When it landed and it ran under the stove. It was the biggest one I ever seen. It was 8 inches!!! We take out the stove drawer underneath and there's a hole in the back for the wires and it went in there!!!!! I don't remember if we got it or not. First time I got stung. I was sleeping and I woke up feeling a little tingly pain in my neck. I thought I scratched something in my sleep. It slowly got more sore. Until I thought this is weird and I quickly got up and I see this 3in centipede run away. I flipped my bed over trying to find it. Cane spider:Not really a full story. Just that I woke up one day and open my door and see that thing in the corner of the ceiling in the hallway just staring at me. I run past it. Get ready for school. Come home and that night go to my bathroom for shower. Open the door and now it's in MY bathroom in the corner of the ceiling staring at me Again!

[@YamahaYEP321S]

To add. That cane spider was the size of like the lid of a ajax lid

[@IonOtter]

Aloha, Andy! I was over in Pearl Ridge, crossing Kam Highway near the Goodwill? It was night, so I had to be really careful, yeah? I'm looking and waiting for my chance, and I see something moving. I look, and it's two 747s, TROW' BEEF IN DA HIGHWAY! Da buggahs squarin' off; one come in, da oddah come in, no sked! Da cars stay coming, an ho...brah...one turn, den da oddah one? Dey look da car coming, an I tink I hear two tiny voices, "WOT?!? BODDAH YOU?!?"...den go back to scrap. Las' I saw, get like, ten cars drive ovah, an dey was STILL scrappin!

[@itzOLE3]

This had me laughing so much! I love your roach impersonations!

[@DwayneYamato]

When I lived on Maui around high school time, I was sleeping and heard one flying around in my bedroom. It landed on my face. Half asleep, I slapped it with my hand and smashed it on my face, guts and all. Grossest night and scarred for life with that one. But, at least I got 'em! Make, die, dead...

[@elliottmanning]

Loved the Aku story!!!

[@farleen]

OMG I CANNOT BREATHE!!!! I CRACKING UP SO HAHD!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@jeffglanstein4489]

LMOO,

[@ancfm1995]

Free willy?!?!?! Groooooss LMAO

[@namastezen3300]

You are so animated. I loved the Oklahoma story. Aloha

[@Commiefornia]

Brah, back home in Hawaii when I was in high school I walked into my bedroom and stepped on someting pokey! Da buggah was hiding under my bedpread! I stepped on da thorny legs! Da buggah darted out from undah the bedspread and back undah!. Brah was one epic battle of man against roach...or high school kid against roach! I wasn't goin' let that ting stay in my bedroom while I slept! I had to get it! Aftah about 10 maybe 15 minutes of me spraying it, it running away to hide, me tracking it down and spraying it again with soapy water from a spray bottle, it running, me finding and shooting it...it finally slowed down so I could smash it. But I don't know what's worse...that or the time I encountered a big black spider on the mainland sitting on a web over my stove...I kid you not...including the legs it was as big as my hand! The body was like the size of one golf ball! Good ting I'm from Hawaii and get slippahs. I wen get my two slippahs and wen smash 'um between da slippahs like a pair of cymbals. That's not the gross part...da gross part was trying to remove da big web it made from the stove and range hood. It was so fricking thick and strong! Da web had to be about 2 to 3 feet in diameter!

[@Akamai2HI]

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

[@watermalin]

This makes me laugh so hard. I remember my first encounter with cockroaches. I was running up my nana's stairs late at night up in alewa heights and a million fricking cockroaches came running across my feet and flying past my legs. I've never ran up the stairs so fast with my slippers slapping behind me!!

[@LeiMomiToo]

LOL So glad you liked my story! Such funny comments. OMG-- I was in tears over this one I was laughing so hard at your Oklahoma race! J Aku Head was such a cool, funny man. One of a kind. Mahalo nui, Andy!

[@botimusprime2229]

Roaches Samoanus!! Bwahahaha!!!!

[@tiahaley301]

J Santos lol 😂

[@dadadadave100]

Brah I when crack up 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@mamakifrombigisland]

Great One, Andy! LoL! Not just slippahs, though, my cat is a great cockaroach hunter and killer!

[@tonybrowning5371]

Loved the cockroach stories!

[@JarmanInternational]

I need to practice my pidgin so thank you for making this show for all of us not in Hawaii right now. Aloha!!

[@jameschan1791]

My 1st time in Hawaii, wuz taking shower...without my glasses, I stay one blind bugger, yeh? But I wen turn around, wat I see on ledge? Beeg Antennas! Bind as bat, but I wen know wat was! Ho!!! I no rinse, Brah!!! Tanks Andy!!!

[@tiahaley301]

My mother in law came for visit from Cali almost very night she get the 474 straight flying from outside inside the living room ! Automatic straight for the eye ! Too fun brah !

[@lunalobablanca4161]

Yep, no can handle da B-52’s. I scream every time time see one. I used to keep a can of Raid near me for that reason.😆 I would spray almost half da can on da buggah. And freak out and spray em again if a leg twitched.🤣Now I have “Lenny” da Gecko 🦎 living in my house and I haven’t seen a roach in a long time. But we also fumigate quarterly too. So I can rest easy.

[@MyChemicalFruitCake]

One very humid summer year, some time ago at night, I saw a swarm of b52's outside my lanai and all my hang clothes. I'm very scared of them. I felt my soul left my body for a few seconds after seeing the horror in front of me when i turned on the lights.

[@VickyCooksalot]

I always wondered what happened to dat roach race.

[@jenlee4793]

Wassup Andy! I've fallen behind on my KZbin videos and finally saw this episode today. Here's my roach story: one night long time ago, I was outside at night hanging out with friends, just talking story. Out of nowhere, a 747 comes flying towards me...and hits my eye!! I swore I was gonna go blind in that eye! Thankfully I still have full use of both eyes! :) Thanks for the laughs, Andy! On to the next episode...

[@MattPelt30]

Your story made me laugh so much!!!

[@makulewahine]

When I was living in Kailua I woke in the middle of the night to crunching sounds above my head. Turned on the light and there were giant cockaroaches chomping on my headboard!!! Ahhh!!! Slept on couch and got ride of that thing the next day. They loved the glue in all the pressed wood furniture we had. Also, my son used to have a t-shirt with a target on it and a giant roach across it with the caption "Hawaii State Bomber". LOL

[@theholytrinity6720]

Laughing so hard at your roach story ahahaha

[@sandrachun972]

Too good dis story !!!

[@konagirl6107]

We called the flying kine 747 and da udda no fly big kine a Cadillac kakaroach

[@Shasanacht]

I love your stories so much, and the B52 / 747 is hilarious. When I went to live in Baton Rouge Louisiana years ago, I was introduced to those same big buggas down there. Now down in South Louisiana if you don't have roaches in your house you are abnormal. But they had the big flying ones, that some people called "Swamp Roaches" You walk down the sidewalk in the middle of the day and they ambush you from a tree or a hedge, man! Inside the house, the remedy for them was exactly the same-- swat them or smack 'em down with a carpet slipper. I became quite skilled in this after a number of battles. Funny though, in all the trips I made to Hawaii over the years I never encountered one there.....The only roaches I ran into were the ones that locals were selling on the street in Waikiki. Ha ha ha

[@ladycahoon]

We have something like that in Florida they look like roaches and they fly too. Big brown roach that's called a Palmetto Bug. They also chill in the dark, but mostly in the bathroom where there's water (because it's cooler) and they also fly at you when you flip on the light and come in. I've had too many encounters with those things! Maybe I should also invest in some rubber slippers! Lol! Great video made me laugh and think of home.

[@namastezen3300]

Palmetto bugs are American roaches. Aloha

[@richenuf4u]

Dat wuz one good fun story, Andy. I nevah know you dat old fo' remembah J. Akuhead Pupule. You must remembah Lucky Luck, too!

[@8pedro7]

Hahaha!! HO, almos broke da opu from laffing at da race story and some of da comments too!

[@DanielWaldhoff]

Today - superb. The Best. Totally Natural.

[@evalina98000]

Aloha Andy. Check out da book- How the B-52 Cockroach Learned to Fly. Was one popular book fo Hilo haumana

[@daddydoe7376]

Them b52s Hawaii state bird

[@mark2kero214]

Best kakaroache story evah

[@theholytrinity6720]

I remember walking in my aunt's den barefoot (big mistake) and hearing a crunch. I'll never forget that... Eee

[@MultiPetercool]

Makes sense. Hawaiian Sumo Cockroach! 😂

[@burgundyslater1345]

My husband is HUGE, ex marine, built like a line backer....he makes our son kill the cockroaches.

[@thomasalton9940]

Rememba when da wife and I jus ben married and was looking for apartment in Waikiki in 1970 we wen to da Jungle to see one cottage. It was advertised as "A little bit of old Hawaii". I swear wen we go look the cockaroaches were big enough to carry our luggage in, and they have lots of small kine friends too. The Jungle disappeared not too long afta dat. Think that cottage was built for King Kam I.

[@MoonJarGirl1]

Hey gang! As of 2/4/24, Andy comes on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 3pm HST - 5pm PST (6PM after the time changes) and 8pm EST. (9pm after the time changes). Join the fun by searching Andy Bumatai or Daily Pidgin on KZbin! COME AND ENJOY THE ALOHA VIBES!!

[@marmeone]

B52, az one ole band!😂😂😂

[@stephanieferreira9653]

Eh ,Who wen put thumbs down, get one ,bugga and must be nuts, this was funny and for real

[@ericsheets4021]

So funny. I wish I could have seen all doze guys in OK watch da HI B52 fly foa da win! My stories boring - got dive bombed planny times at night - the old termite stadium was crazy for them at night. One time, went school, so tired, nevah notice one in my shoe! Ho da stink. Not my bess move - still little bit sick from dat one. Also, the dried cockroaches in China town for medicine were hard core! Made me glad I could go Kaiser instead :)

[@YenjiGonko228]

Ho brah my story probably da simplest most anticlimactic story but this one time I was walkin' to my batchroom and I on my hallway light and I see this bambucha lookin' right at me like "what" and my slippahs was downstairs so I grab a rag and I wen spin it up tight, I lock eyes on da buggah, and honest kine I saw his wings open as soon as I wen whip him. Left this huge stain on the wall, I swear he just exploded all ovah.

[@c_honda]

We have opportunity to small kine talk story with Andy from Sept 2020 on his Daily Pidgin LIVE chat show on Twitch.tv/andybumatai every single day at 6am Hawaii Time. If cannot catch him at that time, try catch da replays on kzbin.info 24 hours later.

[@namastezen3300]

Aloha

[@c_honda]

@@namastezen3300 , can you believe the schedule in 2020? 😉. 7 days a week, 6am HST!

[@namastezen3300]

@@c_honda go Andy!

[@thomasdaturtle8216]

still LMAO... 12.17.2019

[@Tfriday77]

Oh Andy, flashback for me. I had one of those buggahs fly right into my long hair. I was in Pearl City High and I was at my girl friends house practicing hula. i will never forget it. I had such a hard time getting that out. Just the though of it makes me cringe. Yuck!! Thanks for the memories.... :D

[@jodiphillips2186]

Mahalo, mahalo, mahalo. Laughing so hard and so happy. Wen you talk about flushing I thought of the "stink bug" here in Maryland. No predator and wen you crack 'em they stink. They too seem to come alive when they splash. thanks for sharin'

[@Luftmensch067]

+Jodi Phillips OMG, Andy's description was dead on -- the roaches really did sneer at Raid or any bug spray! I was nodding and laughing all through what he was saying. I used to try to drown them with scalding water when I would see one in the bathtub in the middle of the night, but NOTHING KILLS THEM! Except one good whack, like Andy's saying. In the bathtub, like the toilet flush, you would get them to gradually give up the fight and go down the drain, but they might climb back out with those loooong antennae waving. The scariest creatures ever on this planet...

[@jodiphillips2186]

Not only is his description spot on...his expressions and imitations are so funny. It's like being there.

[@lopchong7768]

Ehh memba wen de gold dip da caca-roach

[@jeffglanstein4489]

My dad, who was also my sensei, was pretty tough. He started Waianae Rap Center, if you remember dat. Anyway, when it came to cockroaches, when one would come in he would jump, and then yell "DEBBBB." My mom's name is Debbi, anyway, she was da real tough bugga. She went after dat roach and make em wit her hand, no slippa, no magazine, just da hand. Now how about dat story? true too.

[@curtissolomon5033]

When I was little my little brother saw what he thinks looks like chocolate chip my brother was really close to eatting it then my mom had a sense that my brother was doing something stupid and saw him about to eat it so my moms screamed as loud as she can to try to find a slipper then the cockroaches fell in to he's shirt and he's was screaming to so a punch my brother stomach cause I had no rubber slippers and killed it and my brother got the wind knocked out of him

[@Burps___]

I tought u gonna say u bruddah was gonna eat little rat poo poo, Curtis. Lol. Goo story, brah. Shaka.

[@Commiefornia]

+curtis solomon LOL! You killed two birds with one stone! You killed the roach AND got to legitimately beat up your younger brother at the same time!

[@junlook3474]

curtis solomon v

[@patrickfarrelly3230]

oh mean story winning the race, that is true about the cockaroaches in Hawaii.

[@thebutlers8631]

+Patrick Farrelly I've been searching Tahlequah, OK, wonder if Andy has any video from the show when he got back

[@pwhitty742]

I live in Texas, and we have roaches, but nothing like those roaches you're talking about. There's a word you use every now and then that sounds like "spockanize." You'll say go and "spockanize" the new shirts and caps or something like that. Am I hearing that right? I think it means the same as take a look or check it out, but what is the origin of that word? Thanks.

[@kellymartin4381]

👍

[@AndyBumataiShow]

+Pat Whitty (MotoMeditations) "Spockanize" is a word I made up. It's a combination of "Spock" the Pidgin word for "Spot" or "See" and the English word "Recognize." So "Spockanize' means "To see if you recognize anything"

[@hawaiianlife1011]

dose freaking roaches ah andy? i tell u i stay at one party can have choke people dea and dat big flying freak always seems to fly right at me wat da hell>>>>>/?????

[@sharkboiproductions4999]

i when subscrible