The Dark Psychology Of Giving

[@maxfield9873]

My father was a young man and a farmer during the Great Depression in 1930's. One of his greatest joys was watching his friends and family eat. He never seemed more happy than at those times when he was able to provide a huge picnic and a table filled with food from the garden he grew. I believe it was his way of giving thanks and gratitude for the life he was given, even though he suffered great loss during his lifetime. Here he found true joy.

[@MsGnor]

@maxfield9873 beautiful, thanks for sharing 🥰

[@catharinepizzarello4784]

Beautiful. My great uncle fought in World War Two. A hand grenade was thrown into his foxhole. He threw himself onto it and was blown to bits instantly, saving his comrades’ lives. He didn’t get to enjoy his sacrifice. He was a hero.

[@seeker2seeker]

He was a hero indeed.

[@marylarneyrn1854]

Wow. That’s admirable

[@gregleavitt1255]

Let's not forget or underestimate the importance of Giving intangibles such as Smiles, Joy, Laughter, Respect, Kindness, Consideration, Empathy, Truth, Compassion and so on.

[@kellykizer7014]

You give to get a good feeling but also to avoid a bad feeling the bad feeling of guilt because society puts this expectation on each other,that if you can help someone you should and if you don’t help someone and you can then your bad. It’s also a way of feeling superior to others.

[@rosachatinho3053]

We give because we know how it feels to suffer

[@annettepayne822]

I actually disagree with this statement. The one one on the receiving end doesn't appreciate the misplaced sympathy. I once cleaned a friend's kitchen from a disaster to spotless while they were at work. She was absolutely unimpressed I made her feel embarrassed and ashamed and how dare I. She was perfectly happy with how it was and I should worry about myself. I only did it to show her my love language and she never spoke to me again.

[@iwashere2370]

​@@annettepayne822 she wasn't suffering you're a do gooder

[@NCEIV]

Thanks for this great work!!!

[@seeker2seeker]

Thank you, I’m glad this older video is getting love!

[@Oneblackbuddha]

This was such a profound take on the art and sacrifice of giving. While I am not a Christian I believe Christ’s example is a lesson to us all to assess the abundance in our own lives and devote a portion of it to those in need.

[@ARMANDOHERNANDEZ-bp2np]

Agree🙏🏻

[@taniakozak7772]

I have always thought this is how we should have lived. People have never liked to talk about this much with me but I say when the first people made decisions to trade, the first mistake was made. It's so lovely to hear this said so well... Finally someone agrees! 😊

[@dalemcaslan4442]

Many thanks for your unique synthesis, your clear and caring voice. I learn, gain new understandings, and am deeply moved also. Thank you.

[@seeker2seeker]

I am happy my work has brought you something meaningful - thank you for this comment!

[@Doogle136]

Speaking of the art of giving, this video is such a wonder gift. Thank you so much. Not in recent memory have I heard such insight and uplifting thinking. You are a true giver🙏

[@epoxy55]

This was an excellent explanation. Specially your way of explaining with simple words and not ladening the viewers with heavy jargon.

[@williamtell5365]

Nietzsche explored this thoroughly. A lot of giving is establishing rank and a sort of sanctimony. I believe it takes the enlightened person to practice true unconditional giving, and there are people who do this.

[@jessehuffines8626]

Thanks man. I tend to lean towards giving because I know the feeling of need and don't want the other person to feel that. I suppose that leans towards the guilt side.

[@nancypodbesek8936]

I have not heard of gift-making before thank you for explaining it to me. ❤ it would be wonderful to have a gift making festival some day to re-ignite the practice and have it in our societies again.

[@Aiden-MGR]

This is just.... I have no words, honestly this is just so well done, except saying just that feels like it isin't enough!

[@Sebastian-em7mo]

I was bouncing around that topic for a while and you brought it all together beautifully.

[@jl3646]

I can relate to the "negative naming" bit you shared. 😊

[@ARMANDOHERNANDEZ-bp2np]

You have shared great insight. I am so grateful for you. All your videos demonstrate deep thought into human nature. I indeed am fascinated by religion, metaphysical thought, evolutionary psychology, neuroscience and recently diving into eastern philosophy, mostly Buddhism thought. The topics you choose, your presentation, your being is, I can’t explain it. All I can say is I feel there is an unexplained connection my friend. Salutations to you and your GF from CA.

[@seeker2seeker]

Thank you for the kind words, my friend! May you keep true to the search and may the threads of your interests lead you to wisdom and peace of heart. And do drop me a line over email anytime :)

[@ademiranda2]

"If I love myself, I love you. If I love you, I love myself."-Rumi

[@missshroom5512]

How could anyone not give a thumbs up? Good job🌎☀️💙

[@DizoBae]

Seeker to Seeker, you are amazing at making videos! Your passions shines through like the sun and your voice and tone are as calming and inviting as a natural lazy river.

[@madhima]

Great depth, deep wisdom, thank you so much

[@Bestoftheworst6909]

Thank you! My path to true enlightenment, along with a select few others videos, started with me giving attention to your content. I believe this t be the truth.🙏🙏🙏

[@sandracordovaparedes7456]

You are giving the gift of knowledge and your voice is truly angelic.

[@JustReckles5]

Your work is phenomenal

[@seeker2seeker]

Thank you, it's great to hear you're enjoying it!

[@kyrosvavliaras5326]

Thank you brother for what you giving

[@AM-bw7hv]

I can't believe it that you did this video without discussing compassion and sympathy. That is a part of our consciousness.

[@MrSpankyvideo]

Excellent. Both profound and understandable.

[@jino139]

This is why we should give without expecting in return.

[@clhuang128]

You lessen up your attachment to yourself by giving or sharing with others, little by little eventually you realize that you’re on the path of ultimate emptiness and freedom.❤

[@Ilburto]

Your channel hits all the spots, please keep going!

[@jackiesolares9817]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[@atrip3900]

Awesome! Thank you

[@KhantThuAung-z9b]

thank you for profound content. keep it up .

[@bubblebath7]

I love your videos so much. They are all so wonderfully interesting and I Thankyou for continuously opening my mind to the ways of the world 💖

[@seeker2seeker]

Many thanks to the S2S patrons on Patreon: Tsvetina Ivanova , Arian Rasuli, @RMSounds , and Joshua Day. Your encouragement really makes a difference! ⭐ Support this channel: www.patreon.com/seeker2seeker 💰PayPal Donation: www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=28CCPBHAFUUX8 📨 Join the S2S newsletter: www.seekertoseeker.com/esoteric-circle/ Thank you for watching!

[@Riddlemewalker]

This is wild. I look up a quote of Ernest Becker find a post on Quora and that leads me to one of my favorite video essayist. Thanks for your thoughtful work.

[@michaelndungu4826]

Good video. I remember that I had this thought after repeatedly being in a situation where I subconsciously seek to give even though I had no apparent reason to. After a very brief thought process I decided that it was because it felt good, but as I see now, I should have dug deeper and thought about it longer. This is incredibly helpful and thank you for making the video.

[@catharinepizzarello4784]

I love your lectures.

[@szgyrgy]

Very thought provoking, i will try to think further, thank you..!!!

[@merribeth6840]

Love the art chosen!

[@zlatomirravic3780]

Honest compassiom is eightnening activity. My grandfather was from Bulagaria, so we are neighbors as I am Serbian. Aldo I do not know of flags, skin... what they wanted is better kamma, action, but if one is truly not Dada but Tathaga karma dissappear's. Bravo for Lenon I was writing about him as an egsample in my text some monts a go. The evolution of councesness is the only noble, effortless did. And this what you had speaking is social councousness. From wrote it even better. This is on all meridians, even Slavic ones, since thev God Tuth and Mother Mutt Thank

[@mariannirenkristiansen4475]

Profound. Thank you 💚🕊️

[@JDRyder]

A Hero is a slave to the masses. For without the adulation of the masses, a hero is just another being. Immortality is the delusion of the Ego, for the knowledge of death is the root of all fear.

[@aspirefreeman5749]

Perfect!! Much gratitude. 🌟💜🌟

[@mkheng3216]

Conventional truths are good. Only that it is not an all-encompassing truth. Great effort to reach to the masses . 🙏

[@eurolaura]

I wonder how it is possible somebody can have such an elaborate mind, understand so deep the human nature and connect all the dots in such an wonderful essey. I am amazed with you work, neighbor! I am from Romania. I am studying Buddhism, Tantra and Kabbalah along with body and mind therapies since 10 years now but the way you explain things gives me more insights than I normally receive from my teachers and books. A huge thank you for your wonderful work.

[@seeker2seeker]

Thank you for your exceedingly kind words! And my best wishes to you over there, neighbor :)

[@Reality-Distortion]

This is very tightly compatible with an idea I've held for a long time that I like to call altruism paradox. We can never truly do something fully for another person, unless somebody or something else really forced us against our will. As long as humanity has serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and probably couple others - everything we do (seemingly) with utter sacrifice on our part, will be to some degree for ourselves. Even dying for another helps you avoid all the negative emotions connected to not going through with your sacrifice. That is part of why I can't really find as much respect to people "living for a cause" as average person would. Don't get me wrong, if you _clearly_ bring more well-being to the world - I'm glad you do. But measuring others with same standards, preaching about living for something bigger than yourself and vilifying egoism as a corrupting vice makes my gut squirm. It's all built on such false pretenses and completely misguides people's idea about being self-centered. It's both instinctual and thanks to things I described in first paragraph, also rational. If we can't ever escape it then we can't achieve this idealized standard of goodness. Meaning that it's rather the standard's fault, not ours. Because if even the most giving person we know still has some selfishness deeply imprinted into their behavior (despite what they might say or show), then that trait should've never been automatically associated with being worse in the first place.

[@justaman3333]

Nice work. Thank you 🙏💜

[@GoranVinko]

Deeply moving! Most people seem to be good.

[@eunjihong2554]

Love your videos, I share your videos to love ones. Thank you.

[@seeker2seeker]

Thank you, I appreciate that!

[@pallios]

9:04 "A hero never defecates" I've never heard of a hero being constipated 😂 🤣

[@seeker2seeker]

Exactly 😉

[@jamilabulbulia7424]

Amazing work!! Thank u🙏🏻so grateful

[@TV_da_sala]

"Legends never die"

[@deemariephotos]

Your video resonate with me. Thanks so much ❤

[@DivyaKumari-xx8hq]

What a brilliant video !!

[@Luigilr]

Maybe a crucial point was missed on the video (which is brilliant i just cant thank enough for the gift of this video..) which is that giving a gift is something a God does... God gave us plenty and that is his nature as we know it hence giving gifts brings us closer to his nature and to Him and to others too so basically giving a gift maybe our soul level understanding we are all one hence giving to others is like giving to yourself not because of guilt or other reason but because reality is shared and connected and giving brings us back to our REAL nature which is why we say we're made in God's image so that is also why it feels so good to give because it reminds us we are all one stiving to evolve and there's no I only Us. Im just speculating but i think if he talked about it in the video it sure would be way better than my ramblings. Thank you for this channel what a blessing you are.

[@MrDionappling]

The subject got me thinking, about giving. Why to give at all? Why not give at all? I’ll give and receive, give and receive, give and receive. I didn’t realize how much I’d enjoy John Lennon’s imagine song, beautiful. I do indeed hope that if I would give water to someone in need, the same would be done for me.

[@ayyliqn2142]

Oh, you're from Bulgaria? Me too! Glad to see such good content being produced here!

[@seeker2seeker]

Благодаря ти!

[@husamdien4565]

Great work. Really great. Keep it up.

[@MarkGentry-xn6te]

Very, very, fine!

[@dabeezkneez8716]

You are awesome! Thank you🙏🏾

[@jnzngnznnevermind7716]

Thank you

[@fcmiller3]

I used to give. I volunteered, I would work at a friend’s house for no compensation. I would give small money to strangers begging. No more!! Call me evil, call me selfish, i don’t care! My fault in giving was to “expect” respect in return. The people I freely gave to, in my experience, are the first to stab me in the back. Giving creates a psychological link that I don’t want, but the act of giving or receiving is like an anchor or tie. I have many such stories! So, no more giving!!

[@FlynnRenning-im6yg]

A picture says a thousand words, the thumbnail of this video is the answer, giving gets you pain and death. Taking gets you pleasure and life. The key is being able to keep what you take, long term.

[@weaveandprint]

I find your words on Ernest Becker (whom I have not read) to be deeply thought provoking. Thank you so much. How do you reconcile this with following a spiritual path and giving yourself to the Divine? Is this on a different paradigm?

[@siamkarl]

Yes, s spiritual paradigm does appear to differ from Ernest Becker's. If you know your own experience without delusion, then you know innately 1) that you identify with knowing rather than the transitory things known 2) You feel (know) that the other is the same identical knowing ("there is only one of us') so 3) giving "to yourself" in time of need is natural, obvious. It lacks self-aggrandizement as the benefit is in the action itself. The same spiritual paradigm underlies the fact that the best way to handle adversity attributed to others is to know innately that your own interpretation of the raw event created the feeling tone of adversity, hence simply "forgiving yourself" undermines and eliminates the feeling of adversity. No need to be "the bigger person" and forgive others.

[@MarcoPolo-fr4ef]

this is such a valuable video

[@machanrahan9591]

The system you describe sounds like Chinese "guan xi' My Chinese wife accepts and practises it completely (as does every Chinese I ever met in China or have met here.) I, from the West, hate it. I'm afraid of the inequality of the exchange-both/either ways. I prefer negotiated contracts. I firmly believe ("know") I'm wrong and my wife is right but my cultural baggage won't allow me to change. Anyone read this who could offer advice (which contradicts all I've just written!) I'd love a response. (I'm fed up with living without friends.) Fantastic exposé btw. Subscribed.

[@ianbowden2524]

BRO YOU ARE SO GOOD

[@bonafide9931]

Honestly, i feel guilty when people give me gifts

[@RTruth-el3ub]

Beautiful !!!!!

[@seeker2seeker]

Thank you!!

[@nicolavitali6111]

wow great video thanks brother

[@jayp5823]

Amazing ❤

[@robinriebsomer4607]

This has given me a lot of food for thought. Whales, elephants, and some other animals have self-consciousness and may know they are mortal as a result. Joseph Campbell stated we are all on a heroic quest. Warriors who lay down their lives to save the lives of others transcend themselves. I think there are many heroes who are not remembered., the unsung hero. Do Bulgarians give boys an ugly meaning name, not just girls? Is it guilt or the fearful need to appease the gods that drives people to make a sacrifice to the gods?

[@kfwimmer]

Super excellent!

[@cyberspice4401]

Uncondisional Love Serv All,Love All Anjuna dont look for fruits of your efort..Krishna.

[@GinetteEvand]

👍 Thank You 💕

[@mr.infamous3095]

Amazing man....

[@jeanneelliott7243]

I always feel guilty when I give money that it's not enough.

[@deardaughter]

Good work.

[@klchin77]

Giving is a practice to reduce the attachments to self n material

[@dalemcaslan4442]

ps Is it okay to ask: Where did you find such brilliant animation of early humans? I really enjoy all your beautiful visuals and sounds that enrich and complement your words. John Lennon... John and Yoko with the same love and harmony in their different eyes... Peace and Love to all ...

[@plattburger1]

Brilliant

[@stefven40]

Congratulations on your insights!😄

[@mehrgolmoazedi5839]

Thanks 🙏🏻

[@shanemartin31]

Great video and analysis, both angles on giving were not really something I considered. From my perspective, it is empathy that drives (most) of my giving and the realization that society is better to live in if everyone helps others in need. Someday, I will be the hiker who needs the water . As that thirsty hiker, if the other passes by without concern, my view on other people darkens a bit. So, for me it is bonding and maintaining the cohesiveness of our society, an ultimately selfish drive that at some point I will need help and if we live in a red of tooth and claw ‘society’ I will not get that help.

[@MrKevids]

great job

[@zensvlognotapro]

When I give I feel I'm blessed.When I receive I feel I'm kind

[@nkoy3876]

Heart warming, can you suggest some books, more channels to know inner and outer reality of ours

[@themanualist4727]

Just your 2nd video essay? Hard to believe, it looks all way too sophisticated! Anyways, I'm a fan!

[@tr33tv]

Thanks!

[@seeker2seeker]

Thank you for the support!

[@john-ic5pz]

hunter gatherers were animists. thus they were aware that we are all one. not just one tribe so we must work together and be unselfish to survive but in the sense that the separation of object from subject is an illusion, so my giving you is giving to a part of myself and vice versa... thus there is not the same social/moral dilemma as we have in capital-driven material cultures like we practice now. there is a bias in your reasoning, that the reasons we feel good giving now are the same as they were in those "primitive" gift giving cultures. without the strong separations WE believe in, the ego is less and thus less impetuous for us to give bcuz it demonstrates the giver's power and prosperity. having been raised in a modern western culture, I agree that there is no altruism, we give and help because I feels good. though, as someone who has lived outside that culture and it's associated views, I know that this currently dominant way isn't the only way nor the best paradigms to base a society on. PS I fear that you also deify (put on a pedestal) John Lennon a bit. the man wrote a profound song and was lauded by a generation of ppl but he was also exceptionally egotistical (domestic abusers of both sexes always are) thus like all of us, he was part god & part dog. look at only one aspect of his personality/life and it's an unfathomable mystery why a saint or secular prophet died like a dog, shot in the street. look at the _totality_ of the man and you'll see he was no saint. and this dying the way he did isn't an offense to "the natural order" as we wish/expect the nature order to be. I thank you for your thought provoking video. it helped me remember things I learned along the way which i discarded and forgot when I came back into "western" (postmodern) cultural milieu. in closing, the enlightenment wasn't really enlightenment. it was just a step out of the grog & wine addled state of the middle aged, a necessity to avoid disease from water sources fouled by sewage. we are egoic so we patted ourselves on the back for becoming "enlightened" & began to believe our own hype. there are more than dichotomous capital vs social, strong/weak, all right/all wrong, "good" & bad/evil. "only two sides to a coin is common knowledge" but there are 3. the first 2 are just easier to notice. (the edge is another side). 🤍 share your thoughts. thx 👋

[@carlharmeling512]

Guilt is the fear of punishment. Without this fear guilt has no foothold in the mind. Animals also can feel guilt and most dog owners know this from their own dogs behavior. Only if you are immune to the pain of punishment can you be guilt free. It is impossible to punish an innocent man. The knowledge of guilt like the knowledge of good and evil is something that promises a punishment in the future. To be in fear is to be unfree. Guilt is the very imprisonment of fear. To be possessed by a sense of guilt is identical to be in a state of constant fear. Only the innocent are truly fearless. ‘’You are innocent through the words that I have spoken.’’

[@a_j_pessa]

Good content

[@collinsharrelson6887]

I give in the hopes of one day giving up greed.

[@runningonfullnostanks4523]

I do good to others because I've realised that the other is me. Iam he, & he is me.

[@drops4473]

❤ amazing

[@seankelly4509]

Top class

[@aceoffools86]

I thing the main reason for giving and sharing is simply the fact that we all are one, therefore we cooperate naturally. Some people feel this more, some people less, some people dont feel it at all. Of course there is alot psychological explanations, but in my opinion its just mind illusion.

[@FlynnRenning-im6yg]

18:16 Raise lions, not sheep. My past life's mistake. Also the whole mustard seed thing.