The Dark Secret Behind Star Wars' Goofiest Characters - Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder

[@jasonwhitacre4172]

"Don't try to out-Star Wars me. I fucking woke up earlier than you did." I'm dying, that was perfect.

[@aoiN3KO]

Jason Whitacre i know right? I’m still tryna get my shit together after this.

[@McFudge93]

I'm watching all of these on a play list and I can't stop... Somebody help me

[@ChitenBugMan]

Sounds like you are being obsessive over some pop culture

[@Becktastic01]

Do you really need help though?

[@willsmith8773]

I believe in you.

[@otakuman706]

Nah, you're fine. Hope you're still watching. I'm back rewatching.... Obviously.

[@zx1048216]

One of us! One of us! One of us!

[@billabongwardle]

I'm disappointed in you Daniel! you missed one of the biggest revealing visual facts of the Ewoks, their homes are 60 feet up in the tree line, which would just seem kinda quirky and fun UNTIL you noticed those log traps they have already set up that kill the Imperial AT-ST's. They weren't assembled in a day, they weren't placed there for smooshing the brains of chicken walkers, they were there to smoosh the brains of something equally as large, maybe something predatory, something that would tear open an Ewok home like a can of tuna if found on the ground. And instead of merely staying out of the way of those types of predators, they end up assembling ways of outwardly attacking and killing them, probably with coordinated strategic thinking and the use of live bait. All evidence of high intelligence. Dear god, those poor storm troopers :(

[@DarrellMcCormack]

+billabongwardle ...perhaps the traps were set up to hit the giant Gorax in the nuts. Luckily... AT-STs are the same height as a Gorax's nuts.

[@LordDarthHarry]

+billabongwardle You are exactly right. starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Gorax

[@AlexSamaras]

+billabongwardle See, I interpreted them having all those traps set up as being that the Ewoks already intended to attack the Imperials. Probably to get a bunch of fresh meat. The rebels arriving when they did was fortuitous movie coincidence. Sure, the appearance of C3PO using magic through Luke's use of the force got the gang set free, but they didn't get made part of the tribe until 3PO told them of their adventures, thus establishing that they have a common enemy. At least, this is how I choose to interpret it. :) Which means I pretty much completely agree with everything DOB says in this video. I've always liked the Ewoks (I was one of those kids who saw Jedi in theaters back in the 80s, and so look on them fondly with nostalgia ;) ), and this just makes it all the more clear how badass they actually are. :D

[@charlesgrimmer6486]

I interpret the ewoks as bs

[@TheAntiSanta]

He didn't miss it, he left it out. Because 1) see that rant about adding things not actually help, 2) mentioning the skull the Ewok is wearing serves the same purpose as talking about the Gorax and 3) he'd have to talk about the Ewok Movies.

[@TheDarkLordOfBass]

Cracked has overlooked the most terrifying (awesome) thing about Ewoks; nothing comes between them and their food! They think C-3PO is a god, a God who commands them not to eat his friends or he will grow angry and destroy them with his magic. The Ewoks respond to this threat from a god with a shrug. As if to say, "shhhhhhhh GOD, we're cooking!"

[@NerdSyncProductions]

The rant at 2:50 is magic!

[@BigFatCock0]

I WOKE UP EARLIER THAN YOU DID

[@NerdSyncProductions]

***** HI!

[@tomiwaaina5499]

I omg nerdsync, it's like you watch all the channels I watch, Source fed, comics explained, now this! You've got great taste. Who else do you watch?

[@Drewdefinite]

+NerdSync hah. been binge watching your videos, keep up the good work. Also, suggestion for a video: Cool comic tattoos? I have Deadpool on my arm.

[@tessewact]

+NerdSync Hello Scott, we've been expecting you. Speaking of, you should make another Star Wars episode.

[@MDWolfe]

There are documented cases of herbivores eating meat, video of a Deer eating a squirrel for no damn reason even.

[@FrancisR420]

Cracked has a whole video of different animals eating birds all herbivores The title is cute animals that would kill you if given the chance

[@CantonDem13]

+Minngarm Halnhammer Deer will eat birds and such for the extra calcium, from the bones. Which they need for things such as antler growth.

[@Williambarela]

+Minngarm Halnhammer Im pretty sure he himself has a video on it. could be another cracked person...

[@ashleybateson]

They also clearly cook their meat, this makes it easier to eat, thats why us humans dont have huge insizors anymore but can still eat meat, we learned to cook it. They are ewoks an intelligent species so they dont necessarily just act according to their genetic needs they use poisons manufacture weapons and cook or prepare their food so its palatable not just scrounge like animals. opposable thumbs means you dont need big claws anymore intelligence means you dont need big teeth to eat animals either.(to obtain protein).you can cook meat and then eat it with almost no teeth.

[@Cheeseanonioncrisps]

There's a whole island of bird eating deer- there isn't enough grass to provide the vitamins they need. They intentionally bite the wings off baby birds, leaving them alive but crippled for life and left to succumb to a slow death by starvation as they are incapable of getting their own food.

[@todd1928]

Maybe the cuteness of the ewoks is a defense mechanism, it looks all harmless and hug-able then it rips your throat out. If they spent more than ten seconds in the film on the fact they are deadly monsters I think fans would have accepted them much more.

[@bjam89]

+todd1928 i view them as horrible killing machines, and i cant stand them

[@Feedbach]

A bit like Koalas, so cute so hugable and has claws that can fuck you up!!! Fucking Koalas.

[@maramuldoon]

+Philp Roza "Sure, they're cute now, but in a second they'll get mean. They're gonna get ugly somehow and then there"ll be a million more of them. ---Guy aka "Crewman #6" from Galaxy Quest

[@kalienusername693]

+todd1928 I think the ewoks were forced into the tribal lifestyle by the empire or maybe they were exhiled to that planet a long time ago because of their viciousness and incredible technological prowers.

[@billtenth5805]

Well, their calm but violent nature would explain why they get along with Chewbacca so well, that and all the hair.

[@SidekickSam24]

Maybe they just took the helmets after the soldiers clawed off their own headgear while under the effects of the neurotoxin.

[@1967sluggy]

Doubt it.

[@SidekickSam24]

+Bazingaman 117 Or maybe they searched the base after the battle and found a bunch of extra helmets in a closet.

[@Wolfsbane909]

+Sidekick Sam ok, what's that meat you're eating, do you remember seeing any cows on the planet?

[@TheCapedWriter]

+Sidekick Sam That's the part I don't get. Normally, you don't eat something you've poisoned. So, if the stormtroopers got poisoned, there must be a ditch somewhere filled with discarded, rotting, poisoned flesh.

[@theresasteward1506]

+The Conq Neurotoxins are only viable through the blood stream. Drain blood then cook the meat is fine.

[@saipandit9268]

"I fucking woke up earlier than you!!" my favourite line till date

[@Xylarxcode]

Give them another couple hundred years to discover intergalactic space travel and how to wield their Force sensitivity properly and you've got yourself a new galaxy conquering master race. All shall bow before the might of the teddy bears!

[@monarchsub]

+Xylarxcode well at least we know what the true face of evil looks like no excuse me while i prepare for Armageddon!

[@elfsong713]

+Xylarxcode Heheheh... they must be predecessors of the Furlings!

[@OMGSAMCOPSEY]

+Xylarxcode A couple million years and they evolve into the predators from predator

[@MyAdonisDNA]

+Xylarxcode New villians of episode 8? Episode VIII: The ewok onslaught. This whole thing makes me almost care about Star Wars enough to start writing fan fiction.

[@THEghost13579]

+Xylarxcode Well it's a good thing the remains of the old death star are going to annihilate that planet. Or am I the only one who remembers that article?

[@ahabtheplant]

The dress could be tanned stormtrooper skin.Waste not,want not. The teeth could be like a beaver's teeth built for gnawing their way into their prey. We humans possess canine teeth even though we've moved past the need for them so the Ewoks could have kept theirs. Also, could their lips stretch back revealing a set of fangs that would scare an Alien hive queen? It could only be polite for a civilized being to not reveal death teeth in public? It could be seen as a challenge and trigger an atavistic response.

[@TasteLykeKevinBacon]

What Daniel missed is that they tried to cook Han and Luke with their clothes on so we know that Leia's dress wasn't sacrificial. More likely made by Ewoks in an unusually fast way considering they also braided her hair at the same time.

[@ginnyjollykidd]

@@TasteLykeKevinBacon Because she couldn't braid her own? How many Star Wars movies was she in when she braided her hair? Like, all of them? Actually that's the loosest she ever had her hair.

[@FlyingWolfWings]

"I fucking woke up earlier than you." I'm going to use that line forever now.

[@GamesFromSpace]

Maybe ewoks also have freakishly competent dress making skills.

[@Nienmamnicku20]

You know what you miss? I tell you what! When I was younger me and my friend were all in star wars (it was clone wars 3D cartoon 2 season beggining). We even started to collect Star Wars comics. And there was one that showed old ex stormtrooper who was telling his life on Endor as an stormtrooper to some punks. And you know what he told them when punks were laughing that empire was defated by cute bears? He told them trutha about Ewoks. Ewoks at first look peaceful but when one of them put a flower in to barrel of Stomtrooper blaster that stormtrooper panicked and shoot him becouse he was thinging that Ewoks try to clog his gun. And then shit just got real. Ewoks were monsters who killed patrols and put their heads on spikes so other stomtroopers could see them. Stormtroopers were just wakeing up and theri barracks were surrounded by heads of their friends on spikes. They were playing frightening drums songs all night and their little shining eyes always watch them, just waiting for stormtroopers to make one little mistake so they can murder them.

[@LOLCRAZEDmonkey]

+Teh Empra well fuck haha

[@narutohinataashgaara]

+Teh Empra Damn

[@ostrowulf]

+Teh Empra Well, doesn't that just sound delightful.

[@Traumglanz]

+Teh Empra Apocalypse Endor, such a nice comic.

[@ostrowulf]

Not going to lie, I do want to read that one now.

[@Enriqueta_Fuentes]

Hearing Dan's "bliyepp cous-cous" impression of an ewok at 1:52 never fails to make me laugh

[@trifontrifonov4297]

There was a story in Star Wars Tales (comic book made of Star Wars short stories) from the point the view of an Emperial veteran of the battle for Yavin. Some kids in a bar make fun of him for loosing a band of "teady bears". The story that he then proceed to tell is less Star Wars and more Apocalypse Now. For example: after the stormtroopers opened fire on the Ewoks, the Ewoks start a guerrilla war against the stormtroopers. They start beating drums non stop, day and night, until one of the Empire soldiers snaps and runs off into the forest shooting and screaming. He screamed for a very long time. In the morning it is strongly implied that the Emperials found his head on a stake in front their camp.

[@falleneldor]

+Trifon Trifonov A really fun read! starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Apocalypse_Endor

[@vallraffs]

Thankfully they have their gods to keep them in check.

[@kieranmatzky181]

+Valter Östberg yup

[@phineasevilrabbitoak]

+Valter Östberg: In episode 7 they no longer do. With Luke in exile, their chief god, C3P0 has lost his powers. Enraged, the ewoks seem to have eaten his arm, chased Han Solo and Chewbacca into exile, and forced Leia to form a Resistance movement for her own ewok-safety purposes. I look forwards to see how the next movies explain the First Order's role in the Endor-wars-

[@Windwalker88]

+The Rabbitoak Part 8 will show how the dark lord Jar Jar was eaten alive by ewoks

[@infidelmat]

uhhh....spoilers?

[@phineasevilrabbitoak]

Zedro nurinburg When the comment begins "In episode 7" that is a good place to stop reading if you wish to avoid such things. Just saying.

[@georgeetboom7719]

One of my favourite videos, come back to it all the time

[@willtreblar]

haha me too

[@chrissscottt]

Thanks Daniel, just discovered your work. I'm actually rather depressed at the moment but your vids have brought me up a bit. Seriously good.

[@juliancecilholman2448]

Wow I just realized Cracked has 1 million subs!! I'm so happy for you, I love these videos!

[@libertyhopeful18]

Dan, I literally cheer when a new episode of this comes out. My favorite cracked show. Please make this a weekly thing.

[@codofwar666]

Wicket, the chief of that Ewok tribe, was a main character in the spin off Ewok movies, in which a human family crash lands on Endor several years before the events of episode 6. Wicket befriends the young daughter of the family and they go on adventures, during which he learns enough of their language to communicate. Wicket knew what Han and Luke were saying the whole time, and he was still going to eat them.

[@adribier]

well they are more terrifying than Kylo Ren for sure...

[@ryanproctor4476]

Who's "Kyle Ren"??

[@TheAntiSanta]

Well, Kylo Ren doesn't eat people, so he never had a chance at being more terryfying [sic].

[@patwhw]

+adribier Really? Kylo busting out his unstable sword and slashing a control thingy to pieces and then proceed to force-choke-drag someone to him isn't terrifying?

[@solcaptor7453]

His hair is too stupid to be scary.

[@opppi]

+Rarest Pepe I see where you're coming from but I disagree. Kylo's hair, his youth, his emo persona, all serve to humanize him, and that is precisely what makes him terrifying. He wasn't born evil - he's us. Underneath that mask, he's just a regular decent dude who's made some serious mistakes. He chose this, and that is worthy of being called existentially terrifying.

[@MagicarpN64]

seriously, your delivery of this information is hilARIOUS AND informative~

[@savvysamurai4810]

"Don't you ever try to out-starwars me. I f@#%ing woke up earlier than you did!"

[@lapis666sith]

I had the privilege of being on a panel about the SW universe with Aaron Aliston several years back that devolved into him and I defending the Ewoks with these very same arguments! Thanks Dan, for bring these viscous little buggers out into the light!

[@Sydpart2]

I was just thinking about the ewoks eating the storm troopers last night after reading the shattered empire comic. Issue 1 takes place during the party after the battle of endor and a random speech bubble says "Does this meat taste weird to you?"

[@decimal1156]

Dude, I actually wanted to hear your theory at the end! What is inside the ewok?

[@bjam89]

Decimal115 pure dark side of the force and i refuse to think the force is black and white

[@TheBlarggle]

A human midget.

[@foulbastard]

His penis

[@jasonblalock4429]

You didn't take the argument to its logical conclusion. Take what we know about the Ewoks: They're terrifyingly effective, they're able to take down far bigger enemies, they're able to instantly figure out complicated technology, and they even understand the goddamn principles of FLIGHT. They aren't primitive savages because they're low down on the evolutionary ladder - they are a highly-advanced species which CHOSE to live a primativist lifestyle, presumably because they're so bloodthirsty they found a modern technological life too boring. If you were to start excavating below the soil line in the Ewok village, you would find the remains of a huge technologically-advanced culture that walked away from their achievements because, deep down, they wanted to roast other beings alive and painfully rip their flesh with their blunted little teeth. They're the ideal of preppers and zombie-apocalypse enthusiasts, the species that said "Fuck civilization! WE WANT BLOOD."

[@falleneldor]

+Jason Blalock They are like the Star Wars version of Firefly's Reavers. THIS IS AWESOME!

[@GangstaStan010]

+Jason Blalock This was fucking beautiful. Quick! Ewoks vs The Woodland Critters of South Park, who wins?

[@sarsona_3611]

Imagine if someone made a horror Star Wars game where you're a stormtrooper and the ewoks are plotting to kill you and your friends every night. I'd play it.

[@Knalxz]

+Wallace Thompson There was a comic which went over why the Empire really lost at the battle of Endor. One thing the Ewoks did was wildly play their drums all night .Stomtropeprs out on patrol would go made from fear, one of the units troops rushed out naked firing into the darkness, they never found him because when they did go looking they ran into cover a dozen traps following his trail. The Ewoks even at first came to the empire with "peace" they give them poisonous flowers and lead them to their homes and attack them. Also when the Death star blew up all of the parts fell on the planet destroys most imperial bases leaving them to the wild where the Ewoks eventually got them. The survivor telling the story only lived because the rebels found him and took his captive.

[@asel1124]

A bit late haha, but then they're like Predators, except without any technology because they want to give their victims an even bigger sporting chance!! That's awesome!!

[@FLOABName]

And then there are all their war weaponry. They had to have to catapults and log smashers, and trip lines figured out and made before the empire showed up, implying that they are a warring race, likely getting into skirmishes and all out wars with other Ewok tribes. And they are very adaptive with their weaponry, how much of their weapons were tailored for a fight against the empire?

[@catmani2]

+Kyle A Well, the Empire was there for years, they had to make the shield generator and build the Death Star. I always interpreted it as they created those traps to fight the empire since they were well aware of their weapons and technology after years of watching and probably fighting. Granted, I guess they would have a knowledge of how to create those things beforehand.

[@falleneldor]

+Kyle A Somebody once pointed out to me that they have medieval level siege warfare weapons made using stone age technology. If it wasn't developed to fight against the empire specifically, it was probably created to combat the Duloks. starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Dulok

[@wabbitking1355]

+Kyle A not to mention the the yuzzoms the gorax, phlogs and the other dozens of native species (native and immigrated on endor theirs lots of things for the ewoks to fight.

[@Drace90]

I love the Ewoks! I also love the Gungans (Yeah, come at me!). Both are cute or funny but at the same time can be a force to reckon with. I like that.

[@AAAKISSON]

me too! the sequel trilogie also needs a cool new cute race!

[@GenericInternetter]

+MR. GREEN ㋛ GTFO

[@FrancescaBakewell]

+Drace90 Comin at ya >_

[@falleneldor]

+Drace90 Big ewok fan too! I even like the Gungans when they STFU. They look great and have awesome technology!

[@MrCrashDavi]

+Drace90 gungans are the best. Jar jar is the black sheep, no need to be embarassed.

[@WillChizzleMyNizzle]

Wish you didn't stop, I could listen to this for another few minutes

[@BrotherAlpha]

Cracked hit 1 million subscribers. Well done.

[@gambit133]

I love this guy. Amazing comedic timing.

[@sadjupiter502]

Ewok cake recipe: 1 cup sugar, 1.5 cups flour, 1/2 cup milk, 1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder, 1/2 cup butter, 2 brains, and add Deadly Neurotoxin to taste.

[@psychopunk8817]

Well that escalated quickly....

[@falleneldor]

+T. Dirac Ee chee wa maa!

[@dylanmcglothlin8279]

where's Glados?

[@sadjupiter502]

Dylan McGlothlin Shes busy looking for smugglers for her Deadly Neurotoxin. RIP Han.

[@equalitystateofmind5412]

They didn't "immediately understand" the advanced technology. They watched the storm troopers, who had lived on their moon for several years, operate said technology. They didn't have a goddamn clue how to operate the enclosed walkers until Chuy, a star ship pilot, showed up.

[@Jtmurph222]

“I fucking woke up earlier than you did.” Best quote in cracked history!

[@cjwrench07]

These are some of my favourite videos on KZbin. You guys made a great leap from a copycat magazine, to destroying your enemies with neurotoxin, and then dancing around a fire of burning MAD magazines.

[@longshot291981]

You are by far the best of the cast on Crack.

[@bigemugamer]

2:49 - 3:08 Dam i love that part, and when you do it again in the end play of the Aladdin episode regarding Abu being bought from a traveling circus. gotta do stuff like that in my videos lol

[@Azivegu]

I dont know too much about Ewoks, but I have always assumed that they are also cannibals.

[@docdrew87]

There is no evidence that suggests Ewok cannibalism. It was only suggested that they wanted to eat Han and company. Different species, therefore not cannibalism.

[@Azivegu]

I never said anything about eating Han...

[@JorgeSanchez-ee9wy]

Deniel o Brien I enjoy your work and comedy, you're my favorite character in "after hours" . because the way you express yourself I feel am not the only one , thanks

[@FiveOClockTea]

Well, maybe they're onivores like humans :D That's why their teeth look kind of human-ish. Also, I didn't watch all of star wars, but I always thought, that Ewoks looked kind of creepy...

[@Tokyo-Slim]

Dude, Daniel - your Ewok noises at 1:52... Nightmare fuel. Now I think you may secretly be an Ewok wearing a human face, whom you've obviously killed and eaten his brain.

[@nateskinner97]

Finally someone sees the truth about those little monsters. Another thing to point out is that many people write off the ewoks initial attempt to eat the main heroes as them being unfamiliar with the concept of humans. But if you think about it the Empire had been on the Forrest moon for at least weeks before the rebels even got there; they had time to build the station and most of the second death star. ewoks eat people because they enjoy it.

[@dasaggropop1244]

I had that Ewok action figure when I was a kid. I lost it's rod or whatever weapon it was carrying, but it still killed 3 G.I. Joes, 1 Man-at-Arms riding a Battlecat and two Barbie dolls around the house within a few days. It must have been him...her? Can't check anymore, it has disappeared without a trace soon after those incidents.

[@falleneldor]

+Max Aggropop In my house the only thing the ewoks feared was the rancor monster that ate them.

[@aliyah7832]

I love Daniel! "I f*cking woke up earlier than you!!"

[@bedtimestorys]

Love OPCD! This is the best show on the Cracked channel. I could listen to Daniel rant for days.

[@IsabellePinamena]

When I was younger, and didn't know that women could be attracted to other women, I used the Ewoks as my excuse to see the movie with slave Leia in it. I couldn't quite pin down why I she made me feel so good, but looking back on it... tad bit obvious.

[@ginnyjollykidd]

A happy coming out to you!

[@miaouew]

Hah, GAY

[@yElk-up5uh]

I love this guy I watch countless cracked videos just trying to find his videos

[@matthewstiles868]

Discussions of teeth evolution are the main reason I use the internet

[@darcyw156]

Wow I can't get enough of this guy and the way he delivers his brand of comedy. Great job!

[@DeadDancers]

Surprised you didn't mention the part about how they were gonna burn them *alive* before eating em.

[@daver3628]

I enjoy your "rants" - the way you speak during them makes the viewers feel your frustration and angst. (Of course, it's plain comedic genius to me!)

[@prometeo_X]

It's like the US army losing to farmers in Vietnam... oh

[@shepherdbook]

Matteo Rivera It’s more like the situation in Avatar

[@clairenova3656]

Matteo Rivera we didn't lose we killed more of them than they did of us, we left because of protest of our own civvies

[@HolyknightVader999]

It's more like Custer losing to the Indians......

[@christopherhorn5274]

George Lucas has said they are supposed to represent the Viet Cong.

[@chesterthemolester2262]

@@clairenova3656 kill counts has little thing to do with the result of a war. No matter how much enemy you killed. If you don't achieve your objective(s), you're still a loser. Don't believe me? Take a look at Operation Barbarossa. Who took the most casualty? Who won the war?

[@skatinwhenican]

The Last Part About Hugging Goofy At Disneyland Left Me In Tears, D.O'B. Must Be Stopped. hahahaha

[@joelnarbarz9334]

awesome video. one of the funniest yet.

[@e.zwegat7130]

I love this one. Been watching for quite a long time. This one. This one is a gem. You've bloomed into quite thee tour de force. They've all been great, but this one was spectacular. Keep on waking up awesome.

[@tomiwaaina5499]

Damn it, I was waiting for someone to stab him

[@jminiverse]

Imagine if the video was ten minutes longer. The rants are magical to me and I need more of them. Especially, that last one that was cut off. That was interesting

[@boxertest]

Emperor: There is a disturbance in the force Vader: effin Ewoks!!! Emperor: effin Ewoks!!!

[@TheRichmaster24]

2:11 the American military being beaten by chipmunks is pretty ridiculous, now Squirrels on the other hand....

[@ace448]

Actually it is confirmed that the ewoks ate the storm troopersin the book aftermath.

[@mabusestestament]

"That's like the American army loosing against the chipmunks" They did, in Vietnam.

[@zwordsman]

Did Kevin smith actually turn down cracked? or was that a joke?

[@deathhzrd]

Idk but I've heard that he's a total jerk

[@8loodyrain]

Nah, it's just a joke, I've met him 4 times, he's such a nice guy.

[@zwordsman]

Whether or not he's a good guy *I rather think its apt to say he's mostly nice) i'm still curious if he actually turned them down XD That doesn't have to do with niceness.. it would be interesting lol. but for now i'll go with "its a joke" then.

[@Theyesac18]

+Zwordsman Considering he did an episode of getting doug with high, was probably a joke, I doubt they asked. I think he also did a thing for cinama sins as well.

[@zwordsman]

Casey McKenna He did indeed with CinSins.

[@MariaVosa]

Next to After Hours, this is my favourite segment on Cracked! Daniel is like an Ewok himself, cuddly and cute an terrifying and you just know that if you hug him there will be something wrong inside... What is it? Discuss!

[@thrillhouse_vanhouten]

2:33 yo that's a boarwolf dude

[@tuschman168]

Now I need a scene in The Mandalorian where Mando says to another character: "Endor? F**k no, I'm not going to the forest moon of Endor. The creatures living there are vicious cannibals." Or better yet he DOES go to Endor and barely survives all of their deadly traps. A forest survival episode. I'd like that.

[@gillcaz]

Ewoks aren't tech savvy, they're stealthy. They'd been watching these imperials for months, studying and planning in the bushes. you'd know that, DAN, if you played like, any star wars rpg. out star wars that! with the ewok movies preferably. I didn't sleep last night.

[@nicholasmclaughlin7104]

i barely even remember disney mascots, i just have a book of "autographs", which i was proud of at some point of my childhood .... so actually either completely traumatized and blocked it out or was unfazed

[@Kalashee]

2:50 - 3:10 Ha! He just deep fried probably 80-95% of people who did/will watch this. I love it!!! 😂

[@dougdlux3356]

I'm contributing. This episode is awesome. Subbed.

[@mallios13]

That's ultimately the most terrifying fact about Ewoks; their "primitive" technology only belies the simple fact that they don't need greater technology. As we know from the Ewok films and TV show, people ended up on Endor quite frequently, giving them prior exposure to the other technology in the galaxy. And they didn't give two shits about it, because their twine and timber and leather was sufficient enough to cause mass damage to that "greater technology." Lasers and metal and metallic plastic was inferior to their trees' super timber and their plants' ridiculous fibres. But considering they don't have planet destroying blowguns, they're actually the most ecologically minded terrors in the galaxy. They could probably put some sticks together and make something far more powerful than Starkiller Base, but they don't, because they don't need to. They reserve their genocidally-capable skills for simple survival. They could probably use some twine and a couple of planets and could've just smashed Starkiller Base. It's just fortunate for Emo Ren and Snooki that the Ewoks haven't felt the need to develop warp drive capable huts to blast on over to Starkiller and mess it all up with a spear to the core. And let's be honest, after meeting Luke, there's a pretty good chance that some were shown to be Force Sensitive (you can't tell me that they aren't, because any information on the Ewoks that would discredit their ability in the Force is now retconned) and they now are a planet full of Force adept powerhouses. And the scarier part being, they probably use wood and flint weapons that are superior to lightsabers. Possibly even have EMP flint and tinder boxes to disable such technology; one strike and poof, the enemy has no functioning guns or taser tonfa. There's probably a good reason why the Empire chose Endor as the place to station the second Death Star: because they were likely relying on the Ewok's superior killing prowess and cute appearance to destroy any enemies who tried to disable the shield generator; hence why it was so apparently lacking in defenses itself, they wanted to use the Ewoks as a natural defense and it almost worked. They just didn't count on Ewok culture worshipping a "Golden One" and C-3PO being able to pose as such a being, especially with Luke's abilities. If 3PO weren't there (or were given a different paint job) or if Luke slacked on Jedi studies, they'd've been eaten and the Empire would've succeeded. Vader and Sidious were also probably too terrified to even go to the moon themselves, as the Ewoks would probably just break Sidious' spine and disable Vader's full body life support suit, crippling one and causing the other to choke to death on his own bodily waste.

[@falleneldor]

+Michael Eno Excellent points, especially about 3PO's coloring! Though Vader did at least touch down on the moon when he picked up Luke. Though we never see him leave the fortified landing pad so your probably mostly right.

[@mallios13]

+falleneldor Exactly. The Ewoks avoided the synthetic Empire manufactured areas because those were visceral forms of domination, and the Ewoks respected that. Especially given the Empire wasn't actually doing anything to the Ewoks. But the Rebels intruded upon Ewok territory, hence why the Ewoks were going to kill them. It wasn't until 3PO miraculously appeared as one of their deities and functioned as a proper translator that the Rebels were able to convince the Ewoks that the seemingly idle Empire structures were just impending doom for them as well. Hence their successive use of overwhelming force. After suffering some deaths (which were really minor taking the whole battle into account), there's a good chance that Ewoks later went on to develop superior armor made from bark that could likely deflect blaster shots and diminish concussive force from explosions; things they would've had prior had they dealt with those threats beforehand. Now they'll be even tougher to kill.

[@ironwingedangel776]

Thank you. The idea that one if my favorite alien teddy bears are vicious geniuses that can overpower the forciest of jedi makes me very happy.

[@thefreindlywolf]

this show is my favorite thing on the internet

[@StormcallR]

i had to sub because of this guy, love watching his videos

[@justinthaxton1591]

Ewoks are filled with love and jellybeans.

[@mercury7d]

That's right, love and Jellybeans. Sadly Commander Love never did get that message to his family back home before being served with a nice Twi'lek blood sauté. Dr. Jellybeans did have quite the rigorous diet to keep her blood cholesterol down.

[@Bakkland]

+Justin Thaxton ewoks are filled with dwarf actors. literally

[@joebobdacow7405]

+Justin Thaxton Correction, love, jellybeans, and genocide, genocide of thousands of Stormtroopers, all of them with families, BUT DON'T YOU JUST WANNA HUG HIS WIDDLE FACE

[@shaneryan2010]

And human flesh

[@Masterchief0521]

+Justin Thaxton AND HUMAN FACES

[@mariapriest-whitly7610]

Dead shark EYES' LMAO. Brilliant, Daniel. :)

[@justasmalltimebean]

You may know more about Star Wars, but it's not the lungs that are paralyzed it's the diaphragm! The lungs aren't a muscle :P

[@heatherann9548]

I read the comments specifically looking for this one!

[@ginnyjollykidd]

I figure it's curare.

[@miaouew]

DIAFRAGGAM

[@CantonDem13]

Ewoks are awesome. Who doesn't love badass teddy bears? I mean, come on!

[@danterowland7293]

Actually it's called a Boar-wolf.

[@cahal5536]

Daniel o'brian I like your videos on here man, good content

[@JessieShadowhold]

You asked us what it feels like inside an ewok, and it is taking every ounce of my being not to make a sex joke.

[@VincoMalus]

Please keep doing what your doing, Daniel!

[@tuttman1234]

Man, I clicked on this video for a long aside about teeth evolution! I feel like I've been robbed! LOL.

[@thecrazydisneyparksfanatic921]

For #4 you do know that the whole thing with the empire losing to them, them losing to group that probably at a lower area of the “having very little to no tech as compared to the empire” but the Ewoks still beating them was A euphemism for us losing in a similar situation where we were supposed to be the far out ranking everyone else for military might and technology but ending up losing anyway during that one war

[@JCResDoc94]

Its a Boar-wolf. The Ewok hat, a Boar-wolf.

[@dstidolph]

Thanks for the laughs - made my Monday morning!

[@BionicDance]

The truth is that the Ewoks were originally going to be Wookiees...only, over time, Chewie became way too intelligent and handy for the Wookiee race to be a primitive, aboriginal culture, so they got changed to Ewoks. ROTJ would have been so much cooler with Wookiees, I think.

[@GREATGAIWAIN]

Haha.. not really. It was all cost. Instead of getting one full sized Wookie thing, you get get 2 or 3 ewok costumes. Plus you could pay short people less... for some reason... actually, for no reason. They paid midgets less for no reason. Movies are a business and George is a business man.

[@BionicDance]

+GREATGAIWAIN No, it really was intended that they be Wookiees. And you're not even spelling "Wookiee" correctly. Hell, just look up "Ewok" on Wookieepedia. It's right there in the "Behind the Scenes" section. Go on. I'll wait.

[@Adumb_]

WARWICK DAVIS!

[@Charziken909]

+BionicDance "you're not even spelling wookiee right", "go on I'll wait" u sound like an ass

[@BionicDance]

+Charziken909 Oh, I _am_ an ass. I'm also _correct._

[@christinawilkephillips7684]

I had never really thought about it, but your right!

[@ThePwnedProduction]

Almost everything on this list is something humans somewhere do or have done.. Not sure if I should be proud or terrified..

[@codyjohnson-ge7gu]

this is the type of video that makes you guys shine above the rest. keep it up

[@ExtremelyBoring]

All this just makes them cuter.

[@nuggwife7162]

‘Ewoks’ was legit, one of my favorite movies as a kid. Right next to ‘The NeverEnding Story’. 🖤

[@Fr8monkey]

Stormtroopers taste like chicken.

[@ThunderChunky101]

"I fucking woke up earlier than you did" I pissed myself! Brilliant!

[@kale11111]

Joke at 2:09 should have been 'It's like the American army losing a battle to fucking Vietnam'

[@falleneldor]

+K cs Excellent reference to the fact that George Lucas was inspired by their guerrilla warfare tactics.

[@simonlamoureux5440]

+K cs It's like the British the (new) U.S!

[@beardedemperor]

It's like the Russian Imperial Navy losing to 1900s Japan It's like the Australian Army losing a war against a species of flightless birds...

[@joshuakimba]

Hilarious, I’m a new fan

[@JPMitchell31721]

You use the word "literally" way too much. Also, when speaking of evolution, it makes more sense to describe body parts as "structured" than "designed."

[@Kaskade173]

+Ankh Infinitus your fedorais showing

[@FrancisR420]

Designed does make more sense because their puppets and costumes that didn't actually evolve

[@BostonTerrierLOVE]

I would love hearing more about teeth evolution and Ewoks in general!