The Dark Side of Avoidant Boundaries in a Relationship

[@taylorbee4010]

Boundaries they only have with you. Running around catering to everyone else.

[@taylorbee4010]

Cuts you off then sends a spicy pic. Then leaves again. Cuts you off Dates someone else Flirts again

[@taylorbee4010]

Break up with them They like a picture

[@rachelross5829]

That's not an avoidant. Your a placeholder till the one he really wants comes along

[@mavshorts1076]

@@rachelross5829no they’re like this in all intimate relationships

[@RelleRealized]

My partner is avoidant and he doesn’t do any of these things . He doesn’t cheat or play games. I think he is just struggling with his attachment issues and I am too. I had to slow down and look at him to see what it was he literally just is struggling.

[@rachelross5829]

Yeah, most comments seem like the guys using them as placeholders. Men struggle with these things that's for sure.

[@Nomad.Hawk_87]

Thank you so much Briana ❤ i took notes hehe ! My ex partner and i have been in and out of a relationship for 18 years (!) because we're both very avoidant and tend to self isolate (I usually choose to refuse connexions entirely, living like a nun, while he usually chooses to go with anybody who presents low to no commitment requirements, so he doesnt cut himself from physicality but he doesnt have the anxiety attached to expectations...) *sigh* The love and the attraction and the compatibility between us is super high... and yet we cannot seem to make this connexion work. So haunting.

[@stephenmellor9264]

There is an old saying, ' if you love somebody , set them free ' . Love and serve there's nothing like it to bring that girl to you ! 💕

[@evadebruijn]

I had that happen in friendships, the emotional crowding. It left me feeling resentful and alone, and instead of repairing the connection which obviously is not what is happening in these situations, but one individual who chooses a sense of safety for themselves over the connection, these friendships could not last.

[@Nomad.Hawk_87]

I have experienced that too... and my mom is a specialist at emotional crowding. I guess it comes from our upbringing, that we are now letting go of relationships altogether... I really want to change that. I crave connexion and intimacy.

[@daryl9799]

If you have these issue or your with someone who does fix yourself first or move on. This kinda behavior hurts other people or hurts yourself its so exhausting been there and done that all your gonna end up with is more trauma.

[@GenghisBird]

Very well explained. I enjoy a person so much nore when the "fuzzy" boundaries of friendship are in place. Defining a relationship before i feel safe is a tripwire for isolating for me.

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

@@GenghisBird Thank you for watching and for sharing a bit of your perspective and personal experience.🙏❤️

[@Ridingrules10000]

What would make you feel safe?

[@CadePlaisance]

You share this same value with the voidant girl that I'm seeing. I have worked on myself more than most can understand these past 4 years and it has helped me become the person she probably needs because she has a lot of trauma. We are both working together to find our boundaries, share deeper things and push past the fears of our past experiences. I used to think that beings friends before meant strictly the friend zone but I see how avoidants need this to feel safe and am currently working to be consistant and open to show her that I am indeed safer for her because she's hurt.

[@brizarddelices5522]

Great resources. Keep the good work . Thank you

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

@@brizarddelices5522 thank you! I’m glad you like this. 🙏🙂

[@Passport2Pleasure]

Clear boundaries give us freedom, whether shared or individual! They are the edges of our comfort zone, designed to be pushed (consensually) in a safe environment (your relationship) in order to promote personal growth.

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

@@Passport2Pleasure Thank you for watching, and for sharing your perspective on personal boundaries.🙏❤️

[@marguskiis7711]

DAs set boundaries only for others. If you set boundaries they just dump you at once.

[@whiggygirl]

Great video. Thank you! ❤

[@dellachow3124]

thank you for excellent resource

[@sifublack192]

This is a good explanation. I've always enjoyed casual relationships more than serious ones due to my business goals. I also like the dynamic you described Katarina and Tim. I have a friend who is getting divorced and this appears to be the dynamic between him and his wife.

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

@@sifublack192 I’m glad you like this explanation. And that the example was helpful. Thank you for sharing a bit of your personal experience.🙏❤️

[@Jordan-yb7hp]

Sooo…if I say it’s a friendship it can then be a romance ..yes? Do people just do this for 20 years or is a label ever allowed?

[@aungkoung0075]

Hi. A girl led me on and I really had a crush on her. But three months later, she got back with her ex. And she's still sending signals, kinda like she's interested in me even though she's in a long distance relationship. Is she seeking connection with me or is she breadcrumbing me? What should I do? Please tell us how to respond to breadcrumbing. Your videos are always helpful. Thanks. ❤

[@Cre8Fire34]

Why would you want someone who shows she's an emotional cheater, a game-player, and has put you on the back burner? Don't interact with her at all.

[@paleolit1]

You can NOT have sex with a friend. Sex changes a relationship, it s not helpful to pretend that sex is like any other activity.

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

@@paleolit1 relationships are not defined by actions. They are defined by the vibrational and emotional place from which you take those actions and then the meaning that you assigned to them. If you realize in your experience that sex is something that changes things for you, that’s very good insight. And you would be best served by interacting with people who feel the same way. It would not be helpful however to try to convince people that your way of seeing and doing things is the right and only way, because that’s an uphill climb, and you will be disappointed when other people don’t think or feel about it the same way you do.

[@paleolit1]

@@brianamacwilliam.attachment You don t believe in evolutionary biology and the effects of bonding chemicals such as oxytocine?

[@youtubeaccountserio2633]

Try explaining that to an avoidant, they are delusional to the core

[@paleolit1]

@@brianamacwilliam.attachment Seems like my comment disappeared in cyberspace, I ll try again: Don t you believe in evolutionary biology and bonding chemicals like oxytocine?

[@paulwilliams1233]

@@brianamacwilliam.attachment tbf sex is not like any other activity, the hormones it releases lead to attachment and attraction. Stimulating genitals with someone can lead to subconscious craving of romance and attachment. I think this pov is too idealistic. Sex can alter a relationship completely.

[@alexandrabenaim5667]

ME!!!!!

[@christinestafiej2703]

Is my avoidant playing games or what!!!? She's on and off ! I've been seeing her for 6 years long distance I'm Chicago She's New York. I'm always driving that way we meet somewhere and I felt like she's sabotaged the weekend before she even got there She was already in a bad mood. She was distant The entire weekend and projected it on me gaslighted me, ( or tried to ). Oh I'm not playing that shit! Sabotaged The Weeknd and left the day earlier when I was trying to be intimate they pulled away or just sat there like I wasn't there and she said to me I'm just not feeling it I'm going to go You've been very distant with me when she fell asleep on me how insulting I went to my truck and sat in the parking lot and listen to music I don't want to wake her up. She went to the hotel's gym and it was a good 10 minutes and said she did a full body workout which she's full of shit I believe she made a phone call to say she was leaving a day early I will never know but I follow my gut and it's always right Yes I'm an anxious secure anxious So with that being said now she gets to ghost me and when I contact her she's like please stop contacting me . Who asked their partner that they're really pissed off at please stop contacting me I'm one of the nicest people in the world and I would still never say please I would delete block them and they would be no contact if I felt that adamant about the relationship So she has been doing this for 6 years to me so what she does is now she'll ghost me and one of her just platonic friends she'll hang out with her for 4 months until after the holidays are over so she don't have to see me deal with it by gifts and all that kind of shit and kind of do what she fucking feels like it and then she'll come back to me in the summer and or spring and say I never cheated which I don't believe she is a cheater when I met her she had to get a divorce before she would even come out and see me so I go by how your partner met you and she would not cheat she had to tell her husband to get a divorce and sign the papers and I was there with it all there are a few of us that don't believe in cheating but I still never know I still have my doubts I'm not going to be dumb about things It's when you let your guard down that's when you're always wrong regardless I don't like this So is this a game or is this her being avoided

[@doodlebug1820]

Me IRL

[@youtubeaccountserio2633]

Only avoidants bring on this boundary BS, it’s basically a way to cheat you 😂