The Dark Side of Pretty Privilege

Pretty privilege is the advantage or preferential treatment that attractive individuals receive based solely on their appearance. But does it have its dark side as well? Does pretty privilege exist, and if so, at what cost? This video navigate through the nuances of attractiveness and uncover the hidden truths behind the allure and the dark side of pretty privilege.
#prettyprivilege #darkside
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Editor: Kelly Soong
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera (amanda silvera )
Animator: Zuzia
KZbin Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
Dean, J. (2022 Jul 16). 5 Disadvantages Of Being Beautiful (Plus 5 Advantages). PsyBlog. www.spring.org.uk/2022/07/disadvantages-of-being-beautiful.php
Robson, D. (2015 Feb 13). The surprising downsides of being drop dead gorgeous. BBC. www.bbc.com/future/article/20150213-the-downsides-of-being-beautiful
Whitelocks, S. (2022 Dec 28). Pretty privilege DOES have its downsides: Psychologists reveal disadvantages to being TOO attractive - from losing jobs because they're 'distracting' to feeling overwhelmed by 'excessive attention' to jealous friends. Mail Online. www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11577399/Psychologist-says-pretty-privilege-DOES-downsides-attractive-people-focus-values.html
Ritschel, C. (2022 Dec 9). Model sparks debate after describing ‘disadvantages’ of ‘pretty privilege’. Independent. www.independent.co.uk/life-style/tiktok-model-pretty-privilege-b2242374.html

[@Psych2go]

What are your thoughts about this?

[@user-ww9nq5kn2e]

Yeah

[@A55a551n]

Great

[@StellaMagic100]

Is this same with Child Stars?

[@drinasun6984]

Great

[@frenchfry14595]

It's STUPID!

[@medo_0x00]

To add to the shallow relationship and dating point, people who are seeking genuine relationships usually don't bother to approach attractive people because they think they're probably taken or they'll reject them because they think that they're less attractive

[@smig2801]

True. But I struggle to approach attractive people because I always assume there is a whole bunch of girls to compete with. That there is always competition. I know this is wrong, but the insecurity is strong with this one.

[@E4439Qv5]

_I have no issue with _*_not_*_ approaching a 'pretty woman.'_

[@ah4446]

Please don't, there are pretty girls who seek genuine relationships and struggle to find,so please approach them if you're truly genuine

[@anderstermansen130]

Exactly. Why bother with attractive people at all, when we know that attractive people are always taken, AT ALL TIMES. Attractively looking people that are single, doesnt exist.

[@ah4446]

@@anderstermansen130 that's not true

[@petercormack2859]

I see lots of people speaking for both sides of this discussion; but can we at least agree that society ABSOLUTELY SUCKS at giving people the respect they deserve, and recognise that we’re all in this boat together

[@damilolaojo6188]

thank you ,its not about being pretty or not it about how people treat us either way which sucks

[@princessangel821]

Right, its the shallowness and over-importance of looks in society.

[@noobzito2]

Timestamp! -0:44 Pressure to maintain -1:15 Shallow relationships -1:45 Identity crisis -2:20 Being underestimated -2:54 Objectification and harassment -3:50 Jealousy from others

[@Lolcoca]

I’m the only one who doesn’t care about it if the person is attractive or not or like this or that ! Live life. Too many questions or overthinking for nonsense thing ! Just a waste of time ! 😂😂

[@noobzito2]

@@Lolcoca it's just a timestamp bro, calm down

[@INTJ_5w4]

Thank you. I hope you always have the best food to eat.

[@noobzito2]

@@INTJ_5w4 thanks! I do have good food here and it's healthy (Switzerland)

[@liamdylan_yw8rv7]

Lifesaver. Thank you 💙

[@morteamoureuse]

I think pretty privilege has always existed, but now it has become even more prominent. There may be a dark side to being pretty, but science seems to point to pretty people being more likely to succeed and get opportunities as opposed to ugly people or just plain people. I hope we can all remind ourselves to be kind to others regardless of their looks.

[@novarwhoshere2sip865]

Explain to me all the ugly ass rich men with beautiful wives 😅.

[@bertstudios]

The increase in success over something unearned is exactly why "popular" people deserve sabotage and a lack of human rights.

[@alexagray6307]

For me "pretty privillege" mostly means unwanted attention from men and being "unavailable". And the occasional evil rumor about me. I am introverted, don't use makeup or dress flashy, but I can't get creepy people off my back 😢 and those who are normal seem scared of me... Edit: I have never felt so validated in my life, this topic is so niche that I hadn't ever talked about it before 😭 yall stay strong through the hardships, sending love!

[@Psych2go]

That sounds incredibly frustrating. "Pretty privilege" can come with a whole other set of challenges you wouldn't expect, like unwanted attention and rumors. It's unfair that you feel you can't be yourself without attracting the wrong kind of attention.

[@madalice5134]

Some of the other frustrating parts of the downsides of "pretty privilege" is that people are fixated on humbling you, too. If you point out that you've gotten hurt because you're pretty people will go out their way to try to tear down your self esteem and take it as some sort of perso al attack that you know you are conventionally attractive. I've had people completely handwave the s*xual harassment and SA I've suffered so they can tell me that I need to humble myself and basically say my trauma is invalid because "pretty privilege".

[@kaleidojess]

I know, trust me, especially if you're introverted it can be difficult when everyone is just staring at you. Most don't mean any harm but it does get tiresome. Just focus on being the best you can. God bless you.

[@mistertitanoboa6658]

Imagine being such a loser to the point to where you think it's a personal attack to be told that that person has been SA'ed, or to be offended in the first place. @@madalice5134

[@poojita22]

One of my biggest frustrations with pretty privilege is ppl seeing a pretty face and assuming that I'm ethnic and mysterious when in reality I'm a very smart down to earth person. Also, ppl touching me without my permission is huge thing that I have to deal with on a regular basis or ppl who shouldn't be flirting with you, like a gyno, and family when they look you up and down like a piece of meat. My mother passed last month and her brother who I hadn't seen in 15 years saw me step out of my car and he had that look on his face that guy's get when they see someone they want on. I asked him if he knew who I was and he says my name questioningly. His daughter, my cousin, and I are the same age. 🤮

[@Bohemianstory]

I'm thankful for not having pretty privileged because when I disappeared to recharge my batteries, no one notices. My introvert powers outshine people expectations.

[@fabienneclavier5984]

When I was younger it actually hurt like hell that noone noticed when I wasn't there. To me it meant that I didn't matter that much, and that's a terrible thing to feel, over and over again.

[@E4439Qv5]

​@@fabienneclavier5984sounds like my sister, tbh

[@coffeeperson1461]

I am thankful because I have had to think about how I interact with other people. For some attractive "whatever they do works". They have never needed to work on communication or social skills. Then they reach middle age, go bald or gain weight and start to question why people are not as nice and helpful as before

[@janineoliveira5544]

Jealousy of others, harassment, etc. Facts.

[@NicoleReign]

The jealousy thing is just insane, I’m glad my mother told me I mattered 😭

[@Danka42]

Just looking good is seen as an invitation.

[@Cookie-qx1ip]

just reminded me of the dude that killed someone in a car race and people thought he should not face consequences because he was so good looking :///

[@fabienneclavier5984]

I remember that one. People can be so weird.

[@8MinutesExplainer]

Attractive individuals often face superficial judgments, intense pressure to maintain their looks, and unwanted attention that can lead to harassment. Their achievements are frequently undermined, attributed to their appearance rather than their abilities. This privilege can also provoke jealousy and resentment, causing social isolation. Over time, the reliance on looks for validation can erode self-worth, leading to profound insecurities.

[@noble604]

.... can’t get too close to people because then you’re “flirting” with them and their spouses don’t want you around. People read you and your intentions totally wrong often when you’re pretty. True

[@dre1978]

Thank you for pointing out that our achievements are attributed to our looks not skill. It's so frustrating hearing people say that but we can't even argue with them because they genuinely believe it and just get mad "we don't appreciate our looks". I got a raise at my first grownup job and when word got out about it IMMEDIATELY rumors were started that I was sleeping around to get better pay; when in reality I got the raise because the job just wasn't that hard and I was stupidly fast at it so I was always above expectations

[@madalice5134]

And people project an idea of who they want you to be onto you and get angry when you aren't their imagined dreamy babydoll.

[@shfd3832]

What do u mean by erode self worth looks on validation? I don't understand

[@Lolcoca]

Just don’t care ! Live life ! Too overthinking for nonsense thing !

[@danaspielbusch4610]

Im here to tell you that catcalls amd all attention like it,harassment etc.happen to LITERALLY ALL WOMEN OF THE WORLD ,and while Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,pretty IS as pretty does.

[@blairxxxxxxxx]

Yeah. Harrasment is the dark side of patriarchy, not the dark side of pretty privilege.

[@missmadelinesadventures3278]

Pretty privilege for me means. If I show I'm human I'll get dumped. Being perfect is the only quality people seek from you. It's impossible to follow through though. Life happens. Beauty doesn't stop anyone from being affected by negative circumstances.

[@fairymystonight1783]

Personally, I rather face the dark side of pretty privilege than all the darks sides to being ugly.

[@Painted_Panther]

Same

[@principalitycidade4323]

@@Jedi-dq1td being invisible and seen as ugly is still harder

[@Painted_Panther]

@@Jedi-dq1td I hate being an below average looking woman. It makes me want to end my existence because no one has ever liked me or seen me as pretty.

[@Painted_Panther]

@@Jedi-dq1td I hate being a below average woman. My life sucks. And it makes me want to disappear from existence ( if you know what I mean) 😞

[@principalitycidade4323]

@@Jedi-dq1td i mean ive been called ugly and even rejected alot and compared to my friend circle does that answer any questions?

[@brianquintero5677]

I was kidnapped in my own country because the guy thought that because I was handsome I would have a lot of money, he let me go but not before beating me and yelling at me to start earning money with my beauty, I am from Venezuela

[@madalice5134]

Omg, I'm so sorry! Was he ever caught? I hope you've gotten emotional support to deal with such a horrible violation. Are you doing okay?

[@cc20016]

sorry to hear that, I'm also from Venezuela and it feels horrible having to be on constant alert mode :( I never can relax completely when I'm on the street

[@amnaalnour9918]

OMG😂😂😂💔sorry for what you faced but it is still funny to hear weird things like this

[@brianquintero5677]

@@amnaalnour9918 Yeah ,it's funny now that I spend time healing the wound, even i laugh thinking that I will tell my children that because they are beautiful they are in danger in countries like that.

[@brianquintero5677]

@@cc20016 Don't worry, it was 17 years ago and what surprises me is that it wasn't in Caracas, they said that this happens in the capital but it doesn't.

[@cognitiveconnectionss]

I’ve never really found myself generally attractive due to intense bullying from each school I went to, but I do find most people putting me in competition with them and I really don’t like that. It’s been hard to find girlfriends no matter how nice or genuinely kind you are.

[@ace-un4ue]

The jealousy one is huge - As a guy, ive had to deal with this my entire life from the point where people outright exclude me, sabotage me, and deliberately ghost me just because they feel like im taking away their spotlight. And this behaviour comes from other guys and even girls. I've had people accuse me that i somehow thought that I was 'better' than others just for keeping to myself as a shy individual.

[@dre1978]

I feel like people don't realize that attractive people can also be introverted and shy; I've had the same problem of people assuming I think I'm too good for them just cause I'm not very social. It seems a lot of people assume if you're attractive you HAVE to be an extrovert that loves talking to people otherwise you're just stuck up

[@ace-un4ue]

@@dre1978 I hear you. Its frustrating on that hand when girls would put themselves in my proximity, waiting for me to approach, and I did nothing because I was shaking inside from nervousness.

[@___MoonxCycle____]

Same, people always assume I’m confident too based of my looks, and whenever attractive people call this out we get called “narcissistic” And it’s still happening to others because due to people putting people down it’s low people’s self esteem. I constantly get deaf stares from others all of the time like it just happened to me with my sister’s school friends who looked at me disgustingly.

[@ace-un4ue]

@@___MoonxCycle____ I've experienced the mean stares too, evenly from men and women. One time I was at the gym sitting on a machine, looking down minding my business, and when I looked up, this overweight girl was crossing her arms with the most resentful angry sad look on her face, like she wanted to cry in anger or something just by looking at me. And I'd get other men trying to over compensate in the gym when I come around, never mind the fact that the weights I use are light. They will stand in front of me and block my view of the mirror and start huffing and puffing in dominance. This stuff is so strange to go through, but that's how much beauty threatens others I guess

[@sharlharmakhis280]

...Yep, I'll stay ugly. At least I'll know the people who like me like *me* and not my looks.

[@princessangel821]

I doubt you're ugly. No one is really since beauty is subjective. I get your point tho, I purposely don't do anything to emphasize my looks/features bc I want genuine connections with others.

[@Zhongli_Goldie]

As a heavily introverted girl who happens to be considered "attractive" is really awkward especially when other people criticise you for not being 'inviting enough' let's not forget the unwanted attention and aggression from misogynistic men which is probably the worst part of it

[@princesslukeia]

As a pretty & introverted person(I think I’m just ok, but people hype me up for whatever reason) it’s weird. I also have a thick hourglass body so I get creepy people coming near me all the time & sometimes I’m followed & it’s scary. This man literally came to me & my mom’s table at dinner last week & just stood in front of us staring at me & wouldn’t leave… the manager literally kicked him out. I get stuff like that from creeps, I get told I’m very scary/mean or intimidating for just minding my business, or I’m assumed to be this amazing person(usually by men) off the bat just from being pretty when I’m just a normal person. I mostly get the mean or scary one often & get unnecessary hate…. Girls will wanna fight me for no reason to which is also a negative. I’m extremely introverted & have social anxiety so I get stressed out constantly & rather not have a lot of attention so I hate it. Then when im struggling, people automatically assume my problems are non existent because they think I’m pretty….. I’m automatically dismissed or belittled to the point that if I even have an issue about something, I’m being dramatic or told my life can’t be that bad. Then there are women that will only invite me to things because I’ll attract men & It’s annoying. Then dudes will only like me for very superficial reasons & wouldn’t hear or care about anything I have to say….. You are often treated like a piece of meat or tool…. All of this stuff is annoying so I stay in my house & go out every blue moon. When I’m shopping, I try to move as quickly as possible because shit can get scary & sometimes dudes will follow me down aisles to approach me…. You can have the privilege honestly. I enjoy looking good & changing my hair & stuff for my own amusement & it’s not for attention. My mom is gorgeous & loves it, but she’s also extroverted & lived for it but me….. it’s a no for me. I wasn’t always attractive growing up & I just started acknowledging I was pretty like last year. I experienced both sides & it’s not fun either way. I personally always feel like I’m in danger but my anxiety is through the roof so sometimes I might be tripping…..

[@Alli-oops12]

I don’t really see it, but I’ve been told over and over by random people I am pretty/cute/beautiful hair etc and I really relate to you.

[@coffee_jelly7452]

There are people who take to social media to validate their own physical attractiveness. But I've also met people considered "conventionally attractive" who tend to stand out from the crowd but don't usually post pictures on their social media. Their profile pictures also tend to be something else like a pet, an object, art, or even no picture at all. It just made me think that naturally having that beauty can make someone want to show it off or react aversively to showing it off.

[@blairxxxxxxxx]

I've noticed that social media ppl may be pretty but lighting, makeup, filters does the job sometimes. On the other hand, ppl in real life are naturally pretty even in bad lighting and they don't seek sm validation of their followers*.

[@drinasun6984]

Entitlement is one thing. Jealousy is another.

[@E4439Qv5]

_Envy_ is a secret third thing.

[@sumthnwckd6788]

Entitlement? What are you entitled to? THAT is "pretty privilege" thinking if I ever heard it.

[@AestheticGems]

I hate that social media is for looks 😭😭

[@kyuubi432]

yess. same here

[@TheBestInsects]

It really is weird, but also interesting how our brains are wired and what it makes us do. I wonder why attractiveness makes us dismiss the other qualities of people. I also wonder why people harass others for their looks and see them as a possession- why people do trends without a second thought, why we feel the pressure to look pretty before even asking ourselves if it would be worth it. I think many of us know now that society's expectations are messed up, but for some reason, I see many of us continue to follow them anyway.

[@isaacnichols8262]

These videos have increased my attention span oddly. I see a noti from y’all and I’m relaxed for like 10 mins and the next few hours

[@dishatto]

Yup I stopped when I realized all this- never had realized I had living by other people’s values my whole life. I don’t agree though that intelligence etc are overlooked but rather attractiveness makes people assume you have all the other qualities and when you don’t pay attention to your appearance they assume you don’t have any redeeming qualities. Everything else though you said is right on. You have to have very good boundaries and even if you do people will still cross them if you are attractive.

[@liefiscute]

the worst part is definitely the objectification for me. It feels so terrible to be objectified, it leaves me feeling empty for days even after a simple sexual comment from one of my classmates for example.

[@keip4568]

A lot of people use their popularity privileges like entitlement. It's sickening

[@user-du3gq9mt9u]

I see it all the time 😔

[@Psych2go]

Do you think popularity itself makes people act entitled, or is it something else?

[@user-du3gq9mt9u]

@@Psych2go Possibly

[@GMSryBut]

​@@Psych2go You know the saying "money corrupts you", right? Yet it's not the money perse but the power behind it. There are two things that makes a person powerful. Money and Influence. Popularity gives you the ability to influence people. So when too much money corrupts someone, couldn't too much popularity have the same effect? Well, when you ask me, I say that neither money nor Influence corrupts a person, but brings your true self out. If money or influence "corrupts" you, then you were a shitty person all along, yet couldn't afford to live it out.

[@restsarapmaginhawa5499]

Popularity itself tempts people to act entitled. @Psych2go

[@RafayelGulbgulbgulb]

As someonw who grew up having a pretty privilege, im agree with this especially the second one, it is hard to find a friend or partners that would love me for who i am instead of just because of my face..

[@JustDilasX]

I HATE people that are like that. They just think they’re better than everyone and reject some people when they don’t like them. I don’t know why for most of them, it’s pretty annoying.

[@tastyfood2020]

True !! This thing is highly shows on boys behavior too. I hate them either boy or girl

[@novarwhoshere2sip865]

Generally the rejection is way over the top or rude when the initial contact was genuine.

[@RookieMistakes]

Finally someone actually talking about this. Even some blessings have it's downsides

[@beautifulblackbeauty8641]

THANK YOU! I try to discuss this with others but the conversations don't go well.

[@heatherrada6415]

I can relate to this video so much! On top of being conventionally attractive, I also look very young for my age (I'm twenty one, but I look 12-13). Oftentimes, whenever I tell people my real age when they think I'm younger, they respond with shit like "Oh, you're so lucky!" "When you get old, you'll look great!" "It's a good thing you look so young!" Hearing this drives me up the wall, because in reality, I'm not lucky at all to look so young! The reason I look like a kid is because I have hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. It's a connective tissue disorder that causes the body to produce defective collagen. Along with making me appear younger, however, my EDS has caused me many serious health problems, such as hypermobile joints, a dilated aorta, Kyphosis and Lordosis in my back, the inability to walk straight without proper foot orthotics, and osteoporosis. Facing all of these challenges with my body every day makes me feel really terrified and helpless, and hearing people say I'm lucky feels so invalidating to my pain, as if they don't want to understand what I'm going through. I've also had to deal with a lot of strangers treating me like a child, or like I'm stupid. That's been especially painful, because it's lead me to believe so many times that I really must be stupid in order for them to be treating me like this.

[@NZC_Meow]

People in the comments who think the bright side is bigger, I don't think you're correct. This video explains exactly why. Nobody actually loves me, people hate me for no reason, if I don't work extremely hard to maintain it I will lose all that I have, and harassment is horrible. Trust me, it's horrible.

[@Mortablunt]

Fucking whiner. People hate and discriminate against ugly people for no reason, and we get all the same disadvantages and mistreatment as you do without any of the upsides! My job comes with a daily risk of death or maiming, as well as the ending threat of lawsuits. I also have to maintain a high level of training and licensing to do it. And a lot of my time off is spent on either that study or sequel activity two things I did on duty. If all I had to do was look pretty in pictures of how big my butt is to make six figures I would be so thrilled! If I was attractive, I wouldn’t be risking death and destitution on a daily basis, I’d be been making seven figures getting pampered hot chicks for the Hub.

[@norapeace6526]

There are some good people that I’ve met in the church, and some bad ones I met in the church. They’ve been jealous of me and have lied and manipulated me and wanted to be seen with me for their own gain. But I found really good people that love me for who I am, and my family of course. So it’s a blessing, but it’s also work to maintain.

[@bertstudios]

Popular people don't deserve human rights.

[@KristynElizabeth_]

i was at the pet store- had to get hay for my guinea pigs. this guy maybe around my age (20’s) grabbed my rear end. then he laughed and was like uh sorry. i’m scarred, i was in shock. i should’ve slapped him. then i told the 2 workers i was assaulted, and the male worker said: “i was keeping a close eye” but disappeared when that happened and the female worker said “well, there’s not much we can do.” my boyfriend is coming with me everywhere now. i feel so violated, that was the second time i was touched inappropriately by a man for no reason what so ever. i think about it every very day and i just shake and feel gross.

[@niasiamack9333]

The animation is really beautiful this helps me a lot

[@delvesdg]

I consider myself an ugly duckling of sorts. Growing up I was short, skinny, awkward, I had an undiagnosed learning disability. I wasn't ugly, but I felt mostly undesirable. I felt this way until I was in my late teens, early twenties. Now I'm 6', 175lb, still awkward (lol), and progressed through the learning disability. I think I have grown to be fairly attractive. I can see clearly the differences between how was received, approached, and treated then, in contrast of how people receive me now. I still carry the short, skinny, dumb kid with me, he humbles and grounds me. I can totally relate to some of the points in this video.

[@ravenRedwake]

Turning thirty and the looks start to fade, and then, they start appealing to administrative authority.

[@ingrid5944]

Two girlfriends of my cousins were jealous of me and wanted me to stay away from my cousins, people have thought that I'm arrogant cause sometimes I'm quiet and shy and have a RBF. If you're kinda superficial, it's okay to be pretty, if you're deep and intellectual and serious about what you defend, it's awful, cause they only see you for your external. I'm also a narcissists magnet and I just noticed this now, cause they want to use me for status or to show off, but they don't listen to me or treat me good for who I am. I'm not THAT PRETTY, but I know people have treated me bad because of my appearance (either for being pretty or for not being pretty as I get older and my body and face is not the same as it was before. I feel used).

[@heirofdisa]

For me, it meant being drxgged regularly by so called friends :/ and being harassed and always feeling unsafe. I tried to modify my face to be uglier with scars and it didn't help because I didn't do a good enough job. I'm sorry. :/

[@Whimsy_13]

You were drugged? I don’t know where you live, but you should look into pressing charges if possible?

[@melaniescribbles]

As an average-looking woman; I often point to this dark side on discussions of pretty privilege. Like, I do believe in the concept; I'm overweight, have to wear glasses to see, and I'm a goth with geeky interests; I'm at the very least not conventionally attractive, and people often don't take me seriously over my looks when compared to my more conventionally attractive friends. Like, there legit were times when if I actually had a point, they either had to rephrase what I said (I'm autistic, so it either was minsunderstandings due to that, so it sometimes was over that), or even repeat my words word for word on some occasions! Trust me, it's real. But I also heard them complaining more often about street harassment and objectification; something I didn't struggle with that often (I'm 30 years old and I think I've only been catcalled 4 times in my life so far, with 2 incidents being recent; I blame the 'big t*ddy goth gf' memes for catcallers being a little less scared over my appearance nowadays). Not to mention the common jealousy of the 'pretty people'; it should DEFINITELY tell you something that me actually treating them as humans beings often was a breath of fresh air to them... It's the actual reason why they kept me around, not to look better by comparison. So trust me, while the Chads and Stacey's do carry some privilege, it's not like they don't have their own set of problems to deal with. I should know; I actually talked to them and even befriended a few back in the day. And I would still do so; that whole 'geek vs jock' thing is so horribly overdone anyways. 🤣

[@E4439Qv5]

'Geek vs Jock' ...the nerd in question: 🥪

[@verierii]

Hi! These animations are cute and your videos r rlly helpful and interesting :D

[@Psych2go]

Thanks for your love and support! What's your fave topic so far? :D

[@verierii]

@@Psych2go self love and how to be more positive :)

[@clareoreilly7187]

It is a very open and honest video.

[@marieschroder9622]

I was ugly until I went 18. it was terrible. I’ve been bullied my whole life. My life is better now. I would always choose prettiness over ugliness. I think most people don’t understand how it really is, when you look different in your face.

[@sol-8340]

I would be a bit more accepting of pretty privilege if the people who benefit from it didn't act like complete jerks. I am far from pretty and it really makes me angry to see how much they get away with. Talk their way out of paying for things or accepting responsibilities.

[@RoninRen]

Ugh, I hate how being treated with "dignity" is somehow it's own privilege(that those without the pretty privilege can at least get treated like co-workers/intellectual equals), and truthfully how you look is irrelevant to predators (&that's from my personal experience, basically by logic me being overweight, my acne, split ends &that I only wear basic baggy t-shirts and jeans basically means I'm unattractive) as when I testified against a mugger, it was how I found out(I didn't want to take any chances with a threat he made when I kept holding on to my bag during the struggle) he was facing charges for assaulting other women,

[@Rose-rp3qp]

In my college my one female professor never liked me, she always used to create situations to make me look bad, and at some point it led me to mental breakdown. She never told me about her problem with me, after completion of my college, I got to know by my HOD that she envied me because of my beauty. Unbelievable.

[@shocker_103]

This is the best timing ever. Thanks.

[@Stellarchild]

Im glad this video exists. Being an attractive woman has definitely not brought only good things in my life. Being thought of as stupid because Im beautiful, having to prove my worth., being dismissed like trash by men because anyway « I can date whoever I want », while being attracted to unavailable people…and chasing. But also I think what has been more damaging has been the fact that I never knew to have boundaries, value myself, and honor my needs. After so many heartbreaks I came to believe I was cursed with beauty. Beauty with no sense of healthy boundaries will definitely get you in sticky/ hurtful situations. I wish I was taught these things as a child but I am learning to re parent myself, and foster a healthier relationship with myself. Found much healing in LAA meetings. And its no suprise many folks there are attractive too.

[@cc20016]

what is LAA? English is not my first language

[@mmaya772]

Yesss I can definitely relate!* 💕🥹🫶🏽

[@___MoonxCycle____]

Me too, I’m a also attractive women, and I was always left hurt in the end, I experienced jealousy from others that lead to mean comments all of the time, friends ghosting me because they feel too intimidated or insecure around me, and constant jealousy glares from other girls, which caused me to have SAD and GAD. Like even guys who are insecure get upset, like guys who think that they are way out of my league would take it all out on me since they would think they can never be with me. Even though I attract guys, I don’t even care about that, I just don’t want to be lonely or having to struggle to maintain friendships.

[@StrohHutDommi]

It´s more easy for pretty, rich or intelligent people to play the counterpart than the counterpart of these playing their counterparts.

[@marieschroder9622]

And rich people say money is not that important, pretty people say oh don’t have great advantages because of prettiness and intelligent people say, that it’s hard to be intelligent. It’s a system and it works.

[@suzanadsuza4819]

Thank you for making this video ! Each and every word was relatable for me.

[@Psych2go]

You are so welcome!

[@A55a551n]

Timestamps 1). Pressure to maintain 0:42 2). Shallow relationships 1:14 3). Identity crisis 1:44 4). Being underestimated 2:19 5). Objectification and harassment 2:53 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@noobzito2]

You didn't complete it First: make it all at once and then post the comment Btw I already made one

[@A55a551n]

​@@noobzito2 yes why

[@noobzito2]

​​@@A55a551nBecause it's better than wait for it

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

while all that was said in the video makes sense, there is one other facet that went unadressed: That constant praise for beauty can get to a person's head and lead to a sense of entitlement and arrogance, if not downright narcissm.

[@user-wg3ij4qf4j]

As an attractive person I understand this is probably my biggest asset and I have to use it wisely. At the same time, I experience all the problems in this video. I feel bad because I often feel judged based on my looks, not who I am as a person. Now I don’t even want to show up for an interview or get a job because I want to be left alone.

[@who4259]

This hits! When I was having more of an intellectual conversation with people, they looked shocked when I contributed... & the harassment is real! 😑

[@kimberlyharris4445]

Thank You for this video!(..unfortunately,I have known so many people who fall into this "stereotype")... I SHARED!❤

[@Psych2go]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@PassportInspired]

I can 100% relate to this video and have myself lived a life that has experienced all of these mentioned. It’s 100% valid and true. 😢

[@marianadobreva_]

I'm not quite sure if I have pretty privilege but I relate to all the signs 😭 However, I have low confidence which is really bad in my case and I mostly become a victim of jealousy and people trying to bring me down

[@sw33tm3]

2 months ago, a male stranger followed me to a grocery store. He parked next to me and then expressed interest. What’s even more disturbing, he expressed interest purely based off my race. I politely disengaged then went in the store, he either waited for me to come out or went inside with me because after I came out and drove away, he caught up with me at the traffic light nearby then knocked on my window to give me his number. The entire interaction, he never asked about my age or if I was available. It was creepy and disgusting. I ended up driving around for 4 hours before going home because I felt unsafe that he followed me around for that long. I don’t know in what universe this man exists in that he believes it was alright to follow a stranger around, comment on someone’s race and express interest purely based on the person’s race and looks.

[@xuna_b]

I love this video I was kinda scared to talk about this topic and always feel uncomfortable especially in South Korea😂Thanks a lot for sharing the dark sides of pretty vileage..

[@kaleidojess]

I'm glad I blossomed into the person I am today, because I grew up not feeling pretty at all. I just don't like the extra attention and the random rudeness from women who think I want to steal their man. I thank God for how I look because I finally like myself, but it would be nice if people could just treat everyone with respect and kindness. And don't get me wrong, when I see a beautiful person I too want to stare but at most I will look for one second, because I know how it feels to be stared at for extended periods of time, so if you want to stare at someone just be polite and recognize them as a human being not an object.

[@goldendiamon]

I stare them with respect,cuz they are a work of art....As an artist,I respect the universe creator's work of art it has created such as all of us

[@strwbrryriki]

It also gets really lonely. People often only approach you or form friendships with you because they want to get in your pants. It gets to the point where you’d rather be alone than be friends with people who are only trying to manipulate your for personal gain. There’s nothing wrong with liking someone or having a crush on them at all but when that’s all the interactions you get, it’s pretty lonely. I feel like with harassment people feel like they can get away with it easily if they see you as conventionally attractive for some reason.

[@starsugar4724]

So real…I’m labeled as “Pretty girl” so I have to hangout with “certain people” or “act a certain way” Everything in video is soo real it’s just sad 😔😔. Like I want to be notice for my character not for my looks I don’t care about.

[@theunorthodoxhawk]

Dark side of being unattractive when? the subjects go hand and hand. People always think the grass is greener on the other side.

[@NynyshAulia]

Even though I don't like any unwanted attention from men because I'm introvert, but I still love to wear makeup because I never feel beautiful either with or without makeup

[@bobus8349]

Y’all should make a dark side of being ugly

[@nithinbalan2900]

These people would endure the sufferings of being pretty. But never be ugly if they had the chance

[@AC-ni4gt]

I never like showing my face on social media. I look beautiful and pretty physically and I hate it. Not just to look the image of stunning but because I naturally don't care about flaunting how I look. And I don't like it when folks draw towards me because of an illusion.

[@dishatto]

The next thing you should tackle is the judgment you face for having an unconventional personality vs conventional. Unconventional people get completely dismissed as untrustworthy or not having redeeming qualities. You have to abide my certain personality patterns to be considered ‘normal.’ I think even psychologists, people who should know better, have this expectation.

[@NakuDark]

More people need to watch this video

[@m5shme286]

exactly what i needed before sleep.

[@KirikomiMoon]

Huh, you're right. On platforms like Facebook, I presumed that those gals liked all the positive attention, but I hadn't considered the gals are just as human as the rest of us. Stalking and smothering her with unwanted attention is absolutely wrong! If you also get handsy, touchy, or worse, you need to be punished with heavy charges or time behind bars!

[@lotussong1]

This reminds me of the phrase “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Also, beauty standards vary by countries. You may be considered beautiful in one country, but average or unattractive in another. As people say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

[@marie2511]

Its safe to say that based on this list, I do not have pretty privilege 😆

[@d.alexandria1262]

It’s hard to build genuine connections. People will come up with a preconceived notion of you based on your looks. Build this imaginary persona of you, only for them to get to know your personality and hate it.. but will continue to be in a relationship with you because of how you look. It’s a mindfuck but helps build discernment

[@happatsch3a]

Having a attractive voice can also come up with the same effects mentioned in this video. Some people think I would have it easy charming my way out, some believe I fake my voice just to be cool. At least I do not need to maintain it, since I cannot control my vocal cords either way.

[@LuciaFonseca-ls5gt]

This is literally why I'm happy looking the way I do. People have NO RIGHT to make you feel bad just for your looks.

[@BrotherTree1]

Yep, the downside of being physically attractive is that there's the tempting danger of warping your perception of reality because physical attraction becomes the tunnel vision and everything else to revolve around it. It's like another self-medicating addiction. To break out of any addiction or ideological construct, one must first be aware of it's enablers, whether from oneself (eg. Affirmations or self-talk strategies that are too self-focused, particularly on physical appearances rather than character development) or from others (eg. People constantly telling you how pretty you are whether online or face-to-face, creeps that try to sexually engage with you, people being jealous just because of your attractive looks, etc). Then from there, make plans to repel/disengage from those reinforcers. The motivation to do so is the reminder of how much it ruins and hollows out the meaning of your life and the existential crisis it causes if the addiction persists.

[@pixie_spinda01]

Hey psychg2o! I have a request. I've seen many of your videos on not what to say to people when they are hurt, but I've never really gotten any resources on what *good* stuff to say to people that'll totally make them feel better. Could you do a video on what some good responses are? The community would be grateful!

[@benlamanis1032]

as a person who has a strong platonic relationship with a girl who has pretty privilege for 5 years since early 2019, this video hits pretty close to home in an informative way. I started out as a friend of hers via Xbox Live playing Fallout 76 with her, not knowing what she looked like at the time. Early on in the friendship I had with her, she had a brain aneurysm that almost killed her and sadly, I was one of the only ones that checked on her to make sure she was doing ok, while recovering in hospital, not even her fiancee came to check on her. about a year after this, she started talking to me and ever since then through the video calls with her and her family and IRL meetups, she remains very close to me to this very day. her birthday is very soon and I got her a present that she will cherish for years to come

[@novarwhoshere2sip865]

Any kind of "social privilege" you are aware of and are voluntarily active in the disadvantage of others. I feel nothing for you 😊.

[@timshen5542]

personally, i think the discussion about pretty privilege boils down to this: people who have it are more noticeable, people who dont have it are less noticeable being noticeable, depending on each person’s personality and/or circumstance, can be either a good thing or a bad thing but most people think that whatever they dont have is “better” for them as a guy who isnt conventionally attractive i used to wish that i had pretty privilege all the time now ive instead shifted my focus to trying to be happy with what i got its not easy but i think in the long run itll be healthier for me

[@BeelzeKid]

i agree 100% with this one

[@H_Hold]

Oh pity me I get to leverage society for awhile but out of nowhere I lost it and now I'm gonna talk about it's dArK SiDe. Welcome to life for the rest of us.

[@Thinkbeforeyoutype]

These are exactly the type of jealous energies that come at us, all the time. If you can’t relate because you don’t feel or aren’t attractive, thats not a fair reason to attack. It’s a perfect situation to learn. As an INTP you should accept that you’re insensitive, generally dissatisfied and more than often oblivious to the world around you- which isn’t our fault!

[@H_Hold]

@@ThinkbeforeyoutypeWhat I could never relate to was the shallowness I always saw demonstrated from those individuals, it was a constant variable. I saw all of them that I was exposed to screw others over for petty reasons. In my opinion that's an indicator they either can't comprehend another being and their potential point of view, Or they don't care and it's malice. My issue is with the way the majority of them act; I've met a few humble ones, they were fine to spend time with. I never saw a reason to be that way to anyone unless they were an ass to you, these individuals were always the instigators. What's got you guessing that I'm an intp?

[@Thinkbeforeyoutype]

@@H_Hold well in every group there are the good and the bad, and I think it's most fair to assume that goes for "attractive" people as well. Many highly attractive people commit suicide and are very unhappy and a lot are not. At the end of the day we are all people, subject to the affects of being as such-no matter what! AND I know that you know, that I know 100% for sure that you are an INTP 😅 Which isn't a dig, it's just the facts. Can you guess mine?

[@H_Hold]

@@Thinkbeforeyoutype that's all fair, attractive people can absolutely be unhappy. It's not a guarantee, it's just an observation that they'll usually figure out they're attractive and either they go the humble route with it Or they start figuring out how to game others with their attractiveness. Clearly I don't so where did you get the information that I was? If I were to guess would you happen to be the opposite of that?

[@Thinkbeforeyoutype]

@colesultemeier9605 I'm actually not sure the opposite of INTP, but no I don't think I am. I'm closer to you than opposite.

[@lemon3y]

I’m learning :) I don’t like badly weird people which goes along the lines of pushy. 3:42 Morden ways of romance has something saying towards the lines of “you’re mine” which is very toxic and is a factor to misunderstanding of love and romance in my theory

[@robinvogt1472]

another thing that will be hard is as we age and you rely on your looks and never worked on the inside of self when the beauty fades all that is left is you for me its hard im older now and i have to work on the inside find who i really am because i rely on the looks young and not a flaw i was obsessed with the way i was changing but now im better i do have days excepting ageing has its days

[@unknownpara7]

Another thing what I found very crucial about pretty privalage is that "Those folks only care about their appearances and them only-- one reason being the praise and validation they've gotten -- but what they got wrong is when choosing a potential partner or dating someone their measuring stick (most of the time) is "appearances" only since they value this so much and this alone. So miss out on something much better and settle for ordinary many times. Because both the parties prioritized appearance and good looks over anything else so Both are shallow deep inside. Ending up as a disaster. Because to be something else as measuring stick, there must be something in the first place -- mattered more than the beauty and looks.

[@NicoleReign]

The last one has literally caused me to break down into tears upon returning home. Jealousy is an evil spirit and I’ll just leave that there.

[@crystaldance5731]

Interesting ❤️😊

[@juliaboskamp9666]

Is there being seen as attractive a privillege yes it is there are multiple studie that say pretty people get better treatment be other people because they are seen as attractive, but it also has a drak side because without a darkside there can't be a light side. When my brother was 15 multiple girls who were then him followed him around touch him without his consent because they thought they had a right to do that because he amarantly should like being touch by strange people because of the way he looks

[@N74S]

yes, this happened to me at work. a girl from work touched me like sudden shoulder taps without my consent and i had to act like nothing was happening. i slightly stepped away when she did and i’ve realized that is considered physical harassment. I have a quite intimidating and attractive face so it was the first time that had happened to me but having a high EQ helps me control myself in those situations. i like my job and i wouldn’t tell on her because it would only cause drama and for me being aware makes me feel better even if it isn’t right.

[@Grim_Erudite]

Explains why all my male friends went out of their way to let me know how ugly I am.

[@BlasianLux]

The amount of harassment and belittling and bullying you face due to pretty privilege is astonishing. I mean I can’t show any other emotion but passiveness or I’m seen as aggressive. If I tell a guy no they don’t give up, I had one guy harass me for DAYS because I wouldn’t give in to his advances. I’ve met so many men who just want to use me for my body it’s ridiculous and when I say no or showcase my disdain it’s like their genuinely confused. How could she say no? Maybe because you aren’t entitled to my body. I’ve also faced a lot of controlling and insecure relationships because their constantly worried I’m cheating. It is exhausting.

[@TheSaneHatter]

Not that I'd know from personal experience (ha-ha), but even my observations show me that for a lot of people, being beautiful kind of . . . sucks. This is unfair not just to them, but in a way, to everyone, because the LAST thing that any of use want to do is make someone we're enchanted by feel miserable, but reminding them of how we see them can do precisely that.

[@EclecticMusicMan]

Not something I would know anything about but I do know that attractive people have easier lives. Us ugly people have no head start.

[@damnablethief]

Idk i get made fun of and called ugly by "attractive" people constantly. I get that women espescially have it rough, it's really dangerous ya know...im talking from fucked uo shit i have experoenced in my life...but i don't deserve to be afraid constantly because im ugly. Just wish attractive people would look at me and see a human being...

[@MD-ny5jj]

Sounds like "rich people problems" to me. I don't think alot of these folks would choose the other side side of the spectrum despite the "horrors" of pretty privilege. Pretty people have challenges because every single person has challenges. All this things handed to you damn sure sounds better than being generally ignored always lol.

[@goldendiamon]

So,you'd rather be raped by your suitors for your looks than being rejected and left alone for peace?You'd wish to have AIDS than have chronic pain?

[@AestheticGems]

Im happy to not be pretty so i atleast know whos authentic and honest with me.

[@what.the.whatever]

1:58 So I'm a woman and I have been told I'm pretty my entire life. I kinda feel like men mostly only acknowledge me for that and that's it... somehow they leave me alone most of the time

[@Thinkbeforeyoutype]

I deal with this madness every day. It's nice to be beautiful but it is an unfortunate truth that people will see you as unattainable, intimidating, taken, stuck up, privileged or solely as a sex object. It's wonderful to look at yourself in the mirror and love what you see, but it can be a hard pill to swallow when everyone else sees you as a "baddie" but little to no one approaches you about the deep meanings of your psyche because, well, you're a "baddie". I am not a baddie, I am an attractive being with attractive genes who has normal needs and wants just like everyone else.

[@_.2str2._]

cool video :3

[@izujojo]

People suffering from success