The Dark Side of the INFJ Personality Type

INFJ stands for Introversion, Intuitive, Feeling and Judging. Making up just 1.5% of the population, this personality type is one of the rarest in the world. While INFJs are known for their empathy, their desire to improve the human condition, and their encouragement of meaningful relationships, there’s a dark side to INFJs that’s not always talked about. Today on ‘Charisma’ we’re going to be looking at the Dark Side of the INFJ Personality Type.
Number 1: Isolation and Withdrawal
The first dimension of an INFJ, the ‘I,’ stands for Introversion. This means that an INFJ personality type gets their energy from being by themselves rather than from being around others. After a social event for instance, an introvert needs time alone to recharge because they tend to have a lower social battery.. And while there’s nothing wrong with being introverted, INFJs can sometimes take their introversion to an extreme by isolating themselves from the external world - and cutting off those around them. While one minute your INFJ friend is wanting to grab lunch or go to a party with you, in another moment they’re suddenly a hermit, ignoring your calls and texts. While they don’t do this out of any malice, it can lead to them burning relationships with friends and loved ones. And perhaps even more frustrating, when your INFJ friend does resurface, they find it hard to understand why you found their behavior offensive or hurtful.
Number 2: Unrealistic Expectations
INFJs feel things based on their dominant introverted intuition, meaning that they have active imaginations and see possibilities and potential for the future. Typically this means that INFJs have high expectations for themselves and push themselves to be the best in their career, physical health, or relationships. However, it also means that INFJs have high expectations of those around them - and sometimes these expectations can be unrealistic. An INFJ in a relationship might, for instance, expect their partner to have the same level of career ambition as them, or similar exercise goals. If the INFJ you’re dating is training to run a marathon, for example, and you’re more of a two days a week at the gym sort of person, they might criticize you for being lazy or unmotivated. Or, if your INFJ friend is working towards a big promotion at work but you have a different balance between work and your personal life, they might push you to change. This is because INFJs find a lot of meaning in their goals, and thus have trouble comprehending that not everyone shares - nor needs to share - their same level of ambition.
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#charisma #infj #mbti

[@mindscopechannel]

How Many INFJ's can relate to this list?

[@littlet-rex8839]

Very seldom have I done the "brutally honest" thing, but it got results. I don't think I've ever done the "grip stress" thing.

[@ilija1982]

I can,all the things.

[@TheGoose1020]

I can, unfortunately. So, so lonely and isolated. All due to my own faults and fears!

[@mindscopechannel]

@@TheGoose1020 Everything will work out, just needs time :)

[@elichilton7031]

Being an older INFJ type, I totally relate to this list. Especially when I was younger.

[@AmirKhanIndia]

INFJs If you want mental peace. Stop helping ungrateful people.

[@mindscopechannel]

Super important

[@haunterdragon4580]

Tend to target them the most because I want to crack some of there closed minded-ness. I believe not enough people take the action to give someone a chance (they're more likely to go "I don't want to deal with that guy")

[@xanprimo8511]

Unfortunately, I can't get rid of mine. Family.🙃

[@haunterdragon4580]

@@xanprimo8511 I get you. I want independent freedom so bad I feel held back what I can really do.

[@mommymarz]

@@xanprimo8511 i did the infj door slam on mine. 🎄💚

[@tkar-taba2490]

The unrealistic expectations that the world can be a better place when people are more psychologically educated. And young infj between the age 15-20 , myself 17 are known as people pleaser we tend to please others which emotionally makes us feel good. But as time passes we will eventually learn to stop pleasing the wrong unnecessary people until than i am using my intuition right now. But i hope will be confident enough to talk in group activities and share my thoughts more in detail.

[@bharatkajugad7652]

Until someone shows up to prove you wrong and you know precisely that is "he is wrong for long term work or so on, etc " and everyone started believing that person because his thoughts are sugar coated from the begining, You will eventually stop talking into the so called group thing.

[@haunterdragon4580]

I believe in the idea many things with the world could have been done better but realistically we are stuck with what we got.

[@lilkr8844]

Wise beyond your years

[@Okyourite]

💞👏🏽💯🥰

[@revallmccalla3463]

We also mature in reverse…

[@kellydoll9335]

As an infj my biggest fantasy is spending a year by myself. No way to over think about my interactions with people.

[@mindscopechannel]

Totally understandable being an INFJ

[@lewisisdaman]

Another infj here. The times when I felt the most at peace was when I was cut off from the rest of the world. Wether this was because I had literally travelled to the other side of the globe for a year (NZ) or spending a few weeks on a Buddhist retreat at a Tibetan monastery. I was very cut off from my normal life at these times and I felt so free. Completely free to be myself without the shackles of the expectations of what people expect me to be. It also helped me shed some of the low self expectations I generally have and low self esteem. These times were always the most positively transformative times for me. So yeah it does give us alot of relief from the bullshit of life 👍

[@mindscopechannel]

@@lewisisdaman I think everyone should do this every once in awhile

[@lewisisdaman]

@@mindscopechannel agreed 👍. Love the channel btw! Just found you around an hour ago. Subbed :) Edit: I'm not sure why your channel hasn't blown up yet! Its brilliant

[@mindscopechannel]

@@lewisisdaman thank you! We’re getting closer each day 🙌

[@revallmccalla3463]

I recently found out I am an INFJ-A. My biggest fear is becoming the supervillain. When you add it up, it makes perfect sense. I try to watch my words carefully, and my actions even more carefully; and still, the intimidation comes thru, the silver tongue molds emotions, and my presence leaves an impression whether I want it to or not. If I were evil, it’d be too easy.

[@collinsenosh]

"I can't watch this. My ex was an INFJ." - ENTP

[@jjstuartonwriting8150]

This hit me in the feels, and now I understand why my life went the way it did.

[@mindscopechannel]

Glad we helped you with some insight. Regardless, you're in control and can build your life however you please, the future is yours to create

[@revallmccalla3463]

True that

[@yukiruk5861]

I never cut off someone who is going through a lot. Even when i get overwhelmed.

[@TIJEY-BEG]

Particularly the INFJ-door-slam is really common for me. My own problems never affect me, but the problems of people who I love cause so much emotional pain to me, that I have no other choice but to cut off ties with a person.

[@mindscopechannel]

Totally understandable

[@jacksaintjack2844]

I have been living alone for 6 years. Never go to clubs, bars, etc. I stay in my apt. I detest interacting with others on a verbal level. I prefer a corner of the room that will allow me to observe and allowing my intuition to read everyone in the room. I am very subtle with the door slam, but will do it in a heart beat. Should a woman lie to me, cheat on me, or try to manipulate me, the blackest black cannot compare to my dark side. I never explode or rage. I prefer a calm, calculated clapback that cuts to the bone marrow. It is amazingly easy for me to delete anyone from my contact list. Once you are out. There is no coming back.

[@terrence_garner]

I’m the alpha INFJ and I have come to claim my throne

[@mindscopechannel]

You're going to have to fight someone for it

[@kathleenmiedema6894]

I practice a slow release of frustration....to avoid the explosion 💥 . Of course you've got to be a counselor type to tolerate this, so just expect it when you least expect it 💥💥☝️💥

[@mindscopechannel]

Makes sense haha

[@sirphil13]

Harmony is still our default preference, we don't like to rock the boat....but we will if we have to. I also see everyone as unique so I don't push my image unto others and expect them to change... my darkside is usually self-inflicted and not burdensome to others...why I go it alone. I am also grateful that they're ENTPs and ENFPs in the world...they unobtrusively get us out of our comfort zone and expanding it. Harmony, for the win!

[@mindscopechannel]

Thanks for adding this! Very good points

[@monthafterdecember]

how does the algorithm know im one of them

[@chashmal10]

Yoooo same

[@smokeokay5679]

GREAT VIDEO!!

[@mindscopechannel]

Thanks!

[@cathryn1426]

Isolation/withdraw Unrealistic expectations Door Slam cuz empathy Don't sugarcoat cuz disingenuine Bottling up negative emotions Manipulation cuz intuition Grip Stress thus impulsive behavior Stubbornness...refuse to compromise

[@juanttc_]

nice video bro

[@mindscopechannel]

Thank you

[@dl5329]

So darn accurate :)) I significantly toned down my unrealistic expectations (thank you, meditation), but here's a funny anecdote: I recently dated a fellow INFJ who trains every single day; he passively scolded me for waking up at 11am on a Sunday. Explaining that I overslept by mistake to begin with was completely futile (not to mention that I devote my Sundays to resting and nothing else lol). He went on to add that "this is not a hotel" and that I should not be making up excuses for waking up late. In my head I was like "Ok Rambo, calm your tits." You've guessed right, this person is out of my life for good lol. I can be very understanding with people, but this was just toxic behaviour in my book, and clearly this person did not display the same level of understanding as far as I was concerned (nor was he willing to adapt).

[@haunterdragon4580]

It's true I'm better at giving advice then following it lol

[@13Maria.Cortez13]

The light side is better than the dark side. Why because the dark side is negative. The light side is positive. Why be the dark dim light when you can be the bright light that shines n glows in the darkness of madness. Lightness is the key. 100%

[@mindscopechannel]

Positivity over negativity always

[@korinhubbert7163]

When an INFJ is healthy, these traits are not harmful or dark. A lot of what I am hearing is that others are very focused on external validation and connection. This is not how an INFJ operates and should be respected and understood as well. Most people have many friends, so when the INFJ needs alone time, spend time with other more social friends. There are many things that could be said about this, but again, if you are this dependent on other people in any case it you may benefit from some self-reflection. Things others do are equally offensive or hurtful to us, but we don't usually let it affect our friendships or see someone as dark lol. It is rarely our intention to cause any kind of harm to others, but it is harmful to us to live trying to please or worry about if everything we do is going to offend someone.

[@BasedGodEmperorTrump]

MBTI uses cognitive introversion/extraversion. It's a type of neuroscience, not a behavioral science. So, social introversion/extraversion isn't correlated ie, wanting time alone or wanting group interaction. Cognitive introversion means to turn inward, self-reflecting/introspecting. That's why our first cognitive function is introverted, because it's turned inward. Vice versa for extraverted functions. Just because you're a cognitive introvert doesn't necessarily mean that you're a social introvert, as well. You can be a cognitive introvert while being a social extravert and vice versa in some cases. It's not always black and white "needing time alone" or whatever. Extraversion is to react to an external medium, meaning that even being alone in your room watching KZbin is still extraversion. You can be in public and turn inward/reflecting, aka introversion. It's not so cut and dry. It's not hard to understand.

[@HenryCasillas]

☮️

[@polingchen1690]

Feel like this is me I thought I was empath but I'm probably this

[@mindscopechannel]

Could be both

[@spectredivision8971]

Sauron is an INFJ

[@anmoldutt5405]

Source:trust me bro

[@mattimaranda9638]

Oohh can we have a special flag, too???

[@marthacamargo1404]

Meeeee

[@mindscopechannel]

:)

[@TheValarClan]

I think you’re making a mistake about INFJ’s being empathetic, altruistic, and understanding typically makes one not an asshole. Meaning if your friend cannot do the exercise as much as you do, for example, they start watching the reasons as to why. They do not assume! I repeat they do not assume! Assumption is considered bad intellect. First person knowledge and witness as well as inquiry, inquiry such as a person who is empathetic might do. being individualistic or introverted they will put themselves to a higher standard. Even at the detriment of mental exhaustion. They understand the rest of the humans are retarded, low IQ, and not always able to see the greater picture. i’ve been tested as one repeatedly. My IQ is in the triple digits. And I stand with a multi major college education. Jack of all trades, and master to each

[@mouse6210]

My IQ is triple digits too: 100.

[@BlackVibeBallsack]

You need a cookie?

[@andrewbieszk3264]

Nothing like a little extra self love huh?

[@Ramounskee]

me watching the video: 🌚🌚🌚🌚

[@mindscopechannel]

😂

[@MichaelJTate]

This is not totally true...but cool

[@bogusmcbogus2637]

I think they prefer to pronounce it "infudge". just sayin.

[@mindscopechannel]

Oh really

[@DrunkenSlob]

Funny how it’s the rarest in the world yet everyone in the comments on every video thinks they’re one lol

[@codreaming9304]

63 comments (people) isn’t a lot 😂🤷🏻‍♀️.

[@DrunkenSlob]

@@codreaming9304 across every video about this topic and not just on this channel. It adds up

[@Okyourite]

Unethical. That's funny.