The Day Aliens Destroyed an Ice Cream Shop Full Of Childrens, Humans Turned Into Living Weapons

[@LiveFreeOrDieDH]

Remember, switching to your can of whipped cream is always faster than reloading your ice cream scoop. 🍨

[@foxrunner6407]

"nobody gets free sprinkles in Heaven, you cosmic cockroaches!" Bob, this implies both you and your sprinkles are demonic in origin.

[@TheZeroAssassin]

No, he just said they weren't getting them for FREE He'll invoice them :P

[@vanhasydan4754]

Someone asked "how weird can it possibly get" lol

[@xaythearsonist2003]

I laughed so much during this, you'd've thought I was the Joker 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You have my like.

[@beauxcarroll8348]

Great story full of fun.

[@satakrionkryptomortis]

dear aliens. there are 2 things you shall never touch when it comes from earth: 1. ships (floaty metal boxes on water) 2. children

[@louellacharlton4425]

Say the FAT ELECTRICIAN!

[@chrisbetancourt7111]

When I read the title I thought the aliens were going to blow up the ice cream parlor full of kids thank God I was wrong

[@michelejones6785]

This was hilarious!! Great story

[@harpuiaarchwing5828]

I'm going to regret this..... Pilots Roll Call (Flavor + Word + Number) Orange Sherbet Omega 5, checking in

[@THEFINALHAZARD]

Chocolate raspberry truffle Hawk 5 standing by

[@chrisbetancourt7111]

12:29 excuse you I'd like a ship like that

[@finnmcool2]

Now, it's always possible that you will have to close with the enemy and fight hand to hand. Let me show you some specialized uses for a long handles sundae spoon. I'm sorry, but war is ugly.

[@MaveriKat]

I laughed my ass off at this. Well done!

[@jenellescott6569]

Welp at this one doesn't have one mention of coffee😅

[@garysakamoto4007]

Instead of “fearing what they couldn’t understand” the line should have been “fearing what they couldn’t digest”.

[@guybonfiglio5899]

Turkey in the Straw? In Australia our ice cream trucks play Greensleeves.

[@bearprower]

I can only imagine why they had that sign about the freezer after seeing A Christmas Story and a number of other stories

[@unholyone]

They be splitting bananas and heads.

[@hellhound4440]

I want ice cream

[@Tony-rn5fm]

another tale in the same vein as 'hitch-hikers guide to the galaxy'

[@jazzk4072]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@r.kellycoker1981]

Super silly but I like it!

[@tonykucz]

this is really funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@muk2626]

For me my battle music would be one of the star fox 64 boss music

[@boqndimitrov8693]

as a famous rabbit (not Clausewitz!) said, "- this means WAR!". 🤬👎💥💥💥💥

[@Nitro89]

I thought it was a duck who said that

[@raindead6678]

Couldn't keep the stupid grin off my face as i saw where this was going.