The Day Today Episode 04 - Stretchcast

The Fourth Episode from Black Comedy TV series The Day Today by Chris Morris.
For all episodes go to this playlist: • Video

[@markhilton1754]

_"Those are the headlines.... God, I wish they weren't."_ Best line in the series.

[@YouuuuuuTosserrrr]

+Mark Hilton Oh I dunno, I quite like "This is the NEWWWWWWS" :3

[@EXXTSON]

Im quite fond of "Now fact me until i fart"

[@CooroSnowFox]

"Those are the headlines... happy now?"

[@GuyWithACamera23]

My favourite quotes has got to be "fact x importance = news". Even though it sounds silly, it's pretty accurate.

[@Shamino1]

"TWAT! That was LIQUID football!"

[@functio1]

I remember this when it was first aired because I was having a nice cup of tea and then Alan's football commentary unfolded. This combination nearly killed me as I laughed, drank and inhaled all that the same time, and my tea-seared lungs have never been the same since. Even now I make sure I only watch it without any tea nearby.

[@listerofsmeg884]

I think the thing that amused me most was the OTT titles, at a time when broadcasting went a bit mad with early CGi. After the 'War' episode I was utterly hooked. 😅 I have Alan's 'shit! Did you see that!' as my phone notification

[@feenix8461]

Tea hee hee

[@thebagelsproductions]

Boof! Eat my goal! The keeper has goal pie all over his shirt! - 1st year at university comes flooding back 😂 still hilarious

[@eddien5929]

I had kenco coming out of my nostrils

[@neilgodfrey2669]

11:57. The policeman dealing with the pedestrian cracks me up every time. The way he sticks his face in his then sarcastically points. It looks like Mark Heap and Armando Iannuci

[@costlyblood1927]

Doon Mackichan as the anti-natus protestor is so underrated. The slight crackhead tone with the weird word choices is just brilliant

[@atomiccritter6492]

she looks a bit like Noel Gallagher there

[@garrick3727]

"to try and de-encouragize the women"

[@dw999]

@costlyblood -- On the off-chance that you've not seen her in _Toast of London_ , I'm encouraging you to watch the series. Best wishes.

[@listerofsmeg884]

She'd fit in perfectly with the utter woke nonsense we hear in the media nowadays 😅

[@butterbread858]

@@listerofsmeg884 what does woke mean?

[@Dream146]

"I don't see how salvation is possible without the day today"

[@Doughty321]

“Peter next time you cross the road don’t bother looking.” Love this 😂

[@marcoarecibo2173]

Amazing how everytime you rewatch a TDT ep you catch some new semi-hidden gem. Every minute is packed with subtle jokes, details and easter eggs.

[@bachgammon1]

Mine tonight: "Finally, a look at the capital. Which is London." 5:10

[@papasy3748]

It's the same feeling of re-watch glee as I have with VEEP , there's a joke every 3 seconds and they're all fucking brilliant

[@vileindividual]

"It's just been an- yeah thanks... it's just been announced" I've seen this god knows how many times and that still catches me off guard and gives me a fit of the chuckles.

[@highviewbarbell]

Also the little motion at 11:28 kills me

[@hotelmario510]

PETER YOU'VE LOST THE NEWS

[@InfiniteRhombus]

+hotelmario510 sorry

[@sayhibobbi]

+Iggy Tubmen LOOK LIKE YOU MEAN IT! LOOK DOWN AT THE GROUND AND SAY 'SORRY'!

[@petermorningsnow]

Best thing Peter ever did.

[@commerceserverservercommerce]

“PETER, NEXT TIME YOU CROSS THE ROAD, DON’T BOTHER LOOKING”

[@johnbicknell4748]

'And what will it say on your headstone, Peter?

[@satoterror]

23 years old and better than anything on the goggle box today.

[@Jean428]

"get him into the bureau de change"!

[@JamesBrett2008]

dont know why but when she said that it had me creasing.

[@marcusclifford1410]

I love the helium interview with the Sinn Fein guy. When the BBC (and others) used to interview Sinn Fein politicians, the public were not allowed to hear their voices so they used the voices of actors!! I wish they'd done the helium thing instead!

[@michaelcoull8590]

Didn’t Chris Morris also once get fired for piping helium into an interview room when they were live on the air?

[@thebagelsproductions]

​@michaelcoull8590 that sounds familiar, I think you are right

[@colinstewart1432]

Sinn Fein is a legitimate political party, you're tone is antagonistic and you're making me very angry 🤣

[@jordanon95]

Or julian clairie

[@michaelhoskins6579]

2:45 Peter O'Hanarha-hanrahan taught Laura Kuenssberg everything she knows.

[@bravetherainbow]

Their characterisation of American news shows constantly having to come up with puns for every news item is so good

[@Lucifronz]

Alliteration, not puns, but that's more of a newspaper thing from what I've seen. Then again, I intentionally avoid news stations these days. The media has gotten bad.

[@mongee3614]

​@@Lucifronz the media has not gotten worse. It's always been this bad

[@alyxi]

Finally a look at the capital, which is London

[@lyxnick]

"You would like to see the day today for all these people today?" That interview always makes me laugh.

[@1DX2020]

..."well how can it not?"....hahaaa

[@ThommyofThenn]

I don't see what other kind of interview you could be talking about

[@Francis11995]

"Those are the headlines, God I wish they weren't" - genius

[@avetrotter1356]

Francis Procter when was that

[@AndrewLuke]

abt _03 right near the start, I think

[@anttitheinternetguy3213]

Me when i glare over news media headlines and feel personally offended by them

[@iainrobb2076]

I lost it completely when that News Dancer appeared.

[@comanchio1976]

It's little touches like that - that made it amazing. When I first saw this on TV, I couldn't breath for laughing.

[@MrJohnQCitizen]

that's David Schneider I saw his stand up act recently and was thrilled to see he can still move like that

[@NxDoyle]

Everything about TDT is bang on. I would never deencouragize anyone from watching it.

[@chelseapoet3664]

Your comment deserves a like and a reply and I'm the one to deliver!

[@EleanorPeterson]

"The goalie has got football pie ALL OVER HIS SHIRT..." This episode has some brilliant Alan Partridge moments. The man deserved to get his own series. "... ... ..." What's that, Sooty? He DID? Oh.

[@mariuspretorius7913]

To a non brit could you explain why its funny?

[@That2J]

@@mariuspretorius7913 the joke behind the sports segments is that Alan just doesn’t get sports.

[@CooroSnowFox]

"Those are the headlines, God I wish they weren't" Sums up most news now...

[@MarkPentler]

The entire monologue over the closing titles is fantastic

[@janhuda8841]

The Italian dubbing had me in stitches

[@tombarter3287]

“Sorted” was just the kind of thing you’d see on CBBC or CITV in the ‘90s.

[@DiazeDan]

Carries big early 00's CBBC vibes imo

[@gary5693]

Peter o'hanrahanrahan .... hilarious when it was first aired and even funnier now 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👍👏

[@BarginsGalore]

That bit where they revealed all the different desks had me rolling

[@Rudhamstile]

Just watched this again for the Alan Partridge World cup sketch which is priceless. However the bombdog sketch has just left me in tears! Cant stop watching this stuff.

[@mmjackk667]

The best show ever. By far. A piece of classic art. Comedy school.

[@timothythompson6343]

My roommate showed me this series last year when I worked in London. I laughed 'til it hurt! Still do! All satire should be this good, this savage, this brilliant!! BRAVO!

[@footielad8301]

Chris: You may well be in for a surprise when they yank it out Alan: Haha

[@joeoconnor5492]

the intro graphics get me every time

[@angusjamieson9236]

Liquid football

[@mmjackk667]

I love that the show is aired daily on the handle at the gas station next to me 15:53. Very useful. Helps pass the time at the station. The screens on the gas pump handles have really improved in the last decade.

[@danzvash]

My favourite thing about his episode: in the TH M'N STZ S'FR report at 21:49 (which includes the NASA Shuttle Stunt mission and the gravity quake in Lincolnshire), the music breaks out of the regular backing to being a full live multi-instrumental jam which reaches its peak at about 23:04. I think it's the only episode where they do this

[@jkmaseruman]

under broadcasting restrictions must inhale helium to subtract credibility from his statements. Class.

[@obrienqwerty]

Too good to last. Brilliant. Where is this man now in our hour of need?

[@jubias873]

"it was over in seconds, a dog and three people dead, from guns. the people, being old, would of died soon anyway; but the dog was shot to ribbons in its prime" soooooo good >

[@jackbuff_I]

Here in the UK, when the BBC would interview Gerry Adams (Sinn Fein leader) they'd actually dub his voice over with an actors voice! It might sound daft, but the BBC know just how powerful an intelligent orator can be. When we were finally given permission to hear GA's actual voice.. it was very deep and authorative with a balanced mix of intelligence, wit and reverence.. and you can see why they decided that he was to be censored. IT still baffles me though that when *anything* is censored, all it does is make more people want to see what is being hidden from them. Thanks for the upload though.. these episodes are to be cared for, for eternity.

[@avastyer]

The rules were that that Sinn Fein couldn’t be interviewed on UK TV. The BBC and ITN looked for a way to get around this. First of all, they would show their words on the screen. Later, they understood from lawyers that they could show Gerry Adams speaking if his words were spoken by an actor. This made the rules a farce and they were rightly annulled. Thanks

[@danielianmorris5398]

That face at 4:20 gets me every single time

[@myHEADisAtv]

I could quote this stuff forever. Freakin love On the hour, Day today and Brass eye.

[@Clem_Fandango11]

Peter Ohanrahanrahan is always my favourite character. To this day some news reporters make me think of him 😂😂😂😂

[@mermaidman1985]

The genius about it is the fact it works on 2 levels. I was a bairn when it came out and found it funny because it was "silly news". You appreciate it much more when you get older

[@jethrobradley7850]

20:04 'Sorted' is what every cheap late night student-targeted tv programme was like throughout the 90s. Horribly accurate

[@MrPlannery]

'Get stuffed', to be exact. Totally accurate.

[@jethrobradley7850]

@@MrPlannery Yes! Get Stuffed plus some even tackier regional clones

[@MrPlannery]

@@jethrobradley7850 even tackier? I need to see them. Loved get stuffed as a 12 year old. James whale radio show, too. Simple times.

[@agdgdgwngo]

"Now its easy to tell if someone's dead. But how can you tell if you're dead? Some people have lived to tell the tale. In a short film we made" *who wrote this*

[@maxpvisuals]

hahahaha fucking geniuses that's who

[@a1yssum]

10:01 that synthetic baby looks suspiciously like Cake...

[@maxpvisuals]

cake is a made up drug

[@pov_music]

It's not made from plants, it's made from chemicals by.... sick bastards!

[@thejoin4687]

Bernard Manning was bang on the money.

[@owenevans83]

It’s a fuckin disgrace

[@user-bz8if1oi3s]

THE ONLY NEWS CHANNEL I TRUST!...that and Brasseye...

[@drgoats3]

Just amazing all these years later

[@BenEmberley]

Steve Coogan = Legend

[@GeorgeCruickshank]

I just want to watch The Bureau now...

[@MultiSpazzo]

You're obviously gay.

[@themadplotter]

Channel 4 really made a show about a bureau de change. It was shite iirc.

[@yorkshire_tea_innit8097]

The helium IRA guy had me.

[@AndrewLuke]

Ryukey yer toen is entegonistic end yer mechan me verie engry

[@ThunderChunky101]

"The Bureau" Would make afucking awesome TV show!!!

[@ThunderChunky101]

***** More like Eldorado!

[@nmarks]

They should have it in EastEnders.

[@douglasmilton2805]

@Thunder Chunky: Six years too late I know but I actually LIKED Eldorado. "Marcuuuus!" She was fit.

[@colinr0380]

I have just realised that the Natus is probably the same disc that turned up as the 'Cake' drug in Brass Eye a few years later!

[@rippspeck]

Man, now that I have looked up Chris Morris I can't unsee the birthmark, even through the make-up. Anyway, that dude is funny as fuck and I wish he was still making this kind of stuff.

[@daniellewalker6744]

Because fact into doubt wont go

[@tradissimuscrae2996]

I have seen this episode at least a dozen times and I still can’t decipher Alan Partridges explanation of the World Cup group system

[@matrixxman187]

doesn't look like he can decipher it either LOL

[@NGRevenant]

Watching these makes me so nostalgic for 90s broadcasting

[@DaveTerrasidio]

I watched these when they were first aired, classic, genius telly.

[@StandardGoose]

Between 'Sorted' and the early-90s MTV reference in a previous episode, they do a really good job of capturing the patronising tone of TV for young adults in the 90s.

[@acidthunder1]

Its patronising for adults now

[@typ237]

I think sorted was maybe based on Get Stuffed, which was on in the middle of the night sometimes on ITV

[@neilgodfrey2669]

@@typ237that’s right Get Stuffed. Totally forgot about that. I would watch that then American Gladiators at 2am on ITV Saturday night. Memories

[@neilgodfrey2669]

Crispin was a real tv presenter. Wonder what he does now

[@paddym27]

it is impossible to watch the dance routine from 22:00 without laughing. i've tried it several times now.

[@joenaz4311]

This is perfect. Outstanding from start to finish!

[@DerrickFargo]

Holy Shit this show is brilliant! Where the fuck have I been for 20 years???

[@brucethomson3242]

One of the many gems on this show is Valerie Sinatras travel pod miles above London - just another corner of the studio! So surreal and ridiculous!

[@mw01908]

This actually makes more sense than the news in 2020-2023

[@mrengulfeddirector]

GET HIM INTO THE BUREAU DE CHANGE!!!

[@matta6593]

Must have a foot like a traction engine is my most quoted line of all time

[@derpleyew]

Oh no it’s Glinner 😩

[@nixbronowski5822]

Bloody Brilliant Show.

[@stevephillips7264]

I'm watching this in 2023 !! Do not let generation z watch this !! They will have a complete meltdown

[@TLBL2024]

Gen Z watching this in 2024... Hilarious!!

[@KristianKumpula]

Try not to damage your vocal chords while yelling at clouds

[@stevephillips7264]

@@KristianKumpula I have no.idea what that means

[@mohsinrao4334]

12:38 Proof if proof it need be that Morris knows how to pair an accent and facial hair style for optimum comedy effect.

[@camptube7621]

This is more believable than the current news.

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

"I don't even work here." Crying.

[@domharper5918]

Peter next time you cross the road don't bother looking

[@TheVaginalCrusadar]

This show is amazing

[@starxtraders]

How the hell do they think these names up! LMAO They have me literally in tears of laughter. Between this an Brass Eye it is a wonder I have any ribs left (-:

[@starxtraders]

***** *and and

[@shanenolan2061]

We need this show back now more than ever

[@carlspitfire1388]

Shane Nolan We have got it,its 99% of every real News program on now

[@maxpvisuals]

*now* more than ever

[@awzthemusicalreviews]

> Guy gets fired > Is the only one who hasn't left the Bureau office Fucking brilliant

[@pdub7562]

SORTED is basically any feature on The One Show.

[@George.Andrews.]

Unless you're a Muslim

[@desperateloner8555]

1:08 That nod gets me every time

[@Orion1991z]

@20:27 The delivery on that line is perfect, can't stop laughing

[@necksugar]

"PETER! Put your earpiece next to his mouth and STAND STILL!!!!"

[@wibblywobblytimeywimey7042]

21:56 I lost it bursting out laughing so hard

[@Wingedtravesty]

Minister for ships: Michael Crane. Brilliant

[@theonetheonlyjoey]

"flew to pieces" and "shot to ribbons" are phrases I need to start using more frequently

[@gtologlou]

Who would have thought that a news anchor would become a farmer?

[@ethzero]

11:46 "... And everybody ran out " No-one runs out 😂

[@sforbesgocka]

‘Terrierists’ brilliant

[@jonathanmantle2364]

at 0:26 when that guitar does that little riff is amazing.

[@eyeshandy]

I love how in the discussion about cars Patrick Marber and David Schneider play two reporters that don't appear at any other point in the series

[@Dead-Ball-Situation]

In the 90's, I did not have a CLUE about how and why this was funny. Over time as I grew out of being a child and slowly discovered satire, this is now one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

[@lenenlawless]

Peter o'hanraha-o'hanarahan or however you spell it is without a doubt the funniest name I've ever heard I laugh every time I hear him head it of try to say it

[@Polycarp1992]

0:09 This show was so ahead of its time that it even features an Eastern Orthodox bishop.

[@joelonsdale]

In spite of all the brilliant satire and ridiculous piss taking, it's still Chris Morris' sexual mumble at 4:32 that gets me!

[@cjwhitby1990]

The music change at 22:50 is hilarious

[@DGdescendant22]

THAT WAS LIQUID FOOTBALL!

[@AcornElectron]

Still awesome in 2020

[@brsvideos8143]

Peter O'Hanarha-hanrahan looks like Tom Hardy in the Krays movie.

[@user-bl1pw2th4l]

He's hot

[@jamesormrod4656]

beyond genius

[@sentinelav]

9:25 the eyeball transition gag is pristine

[@staffsyeoman]

"Those are the headlines tonight. God I wish they weren't!"

[@johnking5174]

28:23 - love how they take the piss out of the end credits, as seen here with Danny Baker - Hazel O'Connor