The Differences in Dissociation Triggered by Shame and Terror - and How to Work with Each

[@dooei94]

I wish you were my therapist. I got so uncomfortable when my therapist talked about stuff about my life, my shoulders went inwards, I had crossed my legs, I almost had a «fetal position» just in a chair. I was so scared for some reason, she kept talking and talking, and then she said «is it cold in here?? Hmm maybe it’s cold here» 😣 instead of asking me why I looked small or scared, like you’re mentioning in this video. That’s why I wish you were my therapist. My therapist just makes me feel stupid and abnormal. Just wanted to let this out. Phew. Great video, thanks. (Please excuse my english)

[@d.mcadams8194]

Find a better match for a therapist.

[@dooei94]

@@d.mcadams8194 yes I have to do that. Problem is, I’m too scared to tell her. I don’t know how to without looking mean

[@bri3449]

@@dooei94 any well intentioned person would not take offense to that and definitely not think you are being mean. also tho, who cares about being mean? this is your healing and livelihood and you deserve the best care.

[@dooei94]

I plucked up some courage and got them to change my therapist! Yay!! Thank you guys.

[@sevgi4799]

Before walking away from the therapist maybe there is a chance for growth. This may be a unhealthy pattern of dealing with authority figures thus you may have experienced and expressed the same pattern as with you parents or significant figures in your life. Thus, by expressing your thoughts and feelinga can be a way of starting to heal from that unhealthy pattern of dealing with authority figures. There is a opportunity a golden one for you to grow and start having that true confidence that is dormant within you. However, it goes beyond this sesion is up to you and your therapist. Best of luck! Ps i just noticed it was 4 months ago. However, I would nice to hear how it went?

[@a.k.3110]

Yea, gently offering the words is so helpful to reconnect to the older parts that can talk when i feel stuck in speachlessness. My trauma started way before speach development. So having words alone is so helpful. Such an apreachiated gift. ☺️ Thank you for i am feeling vulnerable talking about that topic. 🎁

[@SovendeMay]

Hello. I'm trying to recover from painful shame wounds and complex PTSD and I found this so helpful to hear. Thank you for sharing.

[@Cathy-xi8cb]

Some of us are not responding to perceived disgust by the therapist. Their opinion, in fact, means very little. Our shame is both literal and existential. Existing is shameful. Our essence is shameful. To us.

[@fightington]

IFS reveala the Self that is absolute and unquestionable compassion that the shameful part responds to - because it's like jesus or god or a utterly non-judgemental and infinitly loving being that is perfectly caring and ok with parts of us that we thought noone could ever, in a million years - accept and love without condition or limit

[@kannibalcopyright]

What if the person disassociating is overwhelmed by sensory input?

[@rubymetalcat18]

Another great way of helping someone come back into the present moment is to ask them to focus (if they can) on their contact points. If the client is sitting in a chair, ask them to focus on what the chair feels like on their back, what about the feelings in their hands and their feet, what does the weight in their hip bones feel like in the seat, etc...

[@kimlec3592]

This lady is good.

[@rivercurrent]

I lost a job because someone kept hammering on my shame button and I would dissociate and not be able to function on the job. This created a viscous cycle in which the Shane mongering ramped up. How does one stop dissociating in the work place?

[@fightington]

IFS reveala the Self that is absolute and unquestionable compassion that the shameful part responds to - because it's like jesus or god or a utterly non-judgemental and infinitly loving being that is perfectly caring and ok with parts of us that we thought noone could ever, in a million years - accept and love without condition or limit

[@sm7657]

@@rivercurrent that makes sense - sounds miserable

[@Ry-iz9bc]

I had a bad disassociation experience with a counselor who was not able to help me get back on my feet. I’m looking for a therapist who can help me regulate my nervous system.

[@nicabm]

Thank you for taking the time to write us. Unfortunately, we do not offer referrals, nor do we release any information about the practitioners who’ve participated in any of our trainings. I can, however, recommend that you check out this database through Psychology Today. Through this site, you’re able to search for therapists and support groups based on location, and filter through the results based on a variety of factors - specialties, approaches, and methods. I am sorry I can’t be of further assistance, but I do hope this is a step in the right direction and helpful in finding the resources you need.

[@nerudaad]

These are good advices.

[@leahflower9924]

What if you're feeling triggered by an old threat that was strong but you are also presently feeling it to a lesser degree...like my family was a huge threat to me in high school and now I have a better relationship with them but there is still a present danger

[@lucianfox]

I don't understand why you would want to keep your family around

[@fightington]

IFS reveala the Self that is absolute and unquestionable compassion that the shameful part responds to - because it's like jesus or god or a utterly non-judgemental and infinitly loving being that is perfectly caring and ok with parts of us that we thought noone could ever, in a million years - accept and love without condition or limit

[@sp5704]

Sadly a lot of therapists gaslight and shame even when they question when others do that you tell the about ; sadly most people are bull-shit and garbage ; it’s the research and theory that’s ideal but when you talk to a human being it al turns into gaslighting, power plays, manipulation, the human behind the desk will almost always denigrate the person across their desk . Believe me I have lived and traveled all over the world and this seemed to be 95% f the time this dynamic was happening

[@robynparkinson9347]

What kind of therapist puts a desk between them and their client??? That's nuts

[@sm7657]

@@robynparkinson9347 it’s a figure of speech - the person in “authority” versus the client or customer …

[@zehisap8883]

Good stuff

[@fightington]

IFS reveala the Self that is absolute and unquestionable compassion that the shameful part responds to - because it's like jesus or god or a utterly non-judgemental and infinitly loving being that is perfectly caring and ok with parts of us that we thought noone could ever, in a million years - accept and love without condition or limit

[@scottthomas5819]

have some points! comment comment comment...

[@SeaSerenity]

Baseball cap 🧢