One Key Insight That Can Help Clients Undo Years of Blame and Shame

As practitioners, we’re well-acquainted with the fight, flight, freeze response - that automatic response that evolved to protect us from external threats or danger.
But what happens when the threat is internal? When the threat is painful emotions or distress?
Our response can still be automatic, and for many clients it can often be to fight.
But when ‘fight’ is how a client handles difficult emotions, the fight moves to within them. It can get expressed as self-criticism and self-blame - and that can lead to shame.
No longer are they only feeling bad, but they believe they are bad, and something’s wrong with them.
As a practitioner, you know how shame can trap clients in unending pain and suffering.
So what if you could give them a quick and simple practice to start them down the path to healing?
Here Paul Gilbert, PhD shares the practice he uses to help clients understand how the mind works, and how that understanding can be transformative.

[@lunkerjunkie]

I'm not a therapist but your channel helps me too

[@lenaccarlsson]

Crying while waatching this. What a HUGE relief. To be able to quit the shame and instead embrace why things have become as they are.

[@sm7657]

Self-blame and Shame = what I struggle with ; but most therapists GASLIGHT and blame me for blaming others and the reality is that others do cause us problems, destruction , bad decisions , coercive control , etc….

[@kirstieb8025]

do you tell her this? it’s most important to look at yourself in this.

[@franceslock1662]

“Not allowing your mind to govern your actions and hold you hostage,” sounds so simple, logical and doable as a spectator. You can’t assume you know or understand your client’s lived experience. Your client experiences the world differently.

[@carolkilpatrick8941]

Talking helps everyone understand.

[@kirstieb8025]

completely agree. but i’m at the point in my healing that i’m able to do things that help me feel better. i still have severe anxiety, little joy and often feel hopeless, but a GOOD doctor can help.

[@helenwarren5217]

I was so afraid of my emotions, So enlightening.

[@dawnbryant8778]

Best thing I've heard on therapy. So refreshing thanks I'll use this with my clients.

[@carolkilpatrick8941]

It is a concept necessary for all clinical purposes to learn so many people will get to understand eventually what happened and how they behaved is able to be put in the right context and help themselves learn to except and heal themselves from these seemingly forever memories.

[@wendyganderson1297]

Wonderful perspective. Brilliant and hopeful.

[@tammyjboudreaux2836]

brilliant. Thank you.

[@CocoShade]

Brilliant!!!!

[@RosyFdz]

It’s hard to change the way your nervous system experiences the world when the first time you learned it was abusive

[@erikamarcouxma9134]

It's so important to make the distinction between content and consciousness! Although, I do believe that there is a true Self and it's consciousnesses. Being conscious and self-aware is the way to take responsibility.

[@lunkerjunkie]

if there isn't a true self why am I fighting so hard to express authenticity

[@alexanderessen8879]

thank you, I agree freedom is responsibility

[@conservativeneurologyb4999]

Thanks for posting. Health days are always better than sick days. Dr. P. EDWARDS CONRAD.

[@abbykoop5363]

Thank you!

[@kimlec3592]

Thank you for this information.

[@Dial8Transmition]

I am and adult who have autism and PTSD and I have always found it almost impossible to change my brain in this way

[@carolkilpatrick8941]

Controlling actions is one of the hardest things to do.

[@nancywysemen7196]

good!

[@juddotto3660]

Mind blowing

[@marjoleinclaeys6961]

Love it 🙏

[@farahalr123]

And this was my AHA moment!

[@louisemcdougall9389]

I know I am just a result of my socialisation but other ppl don't know this. They think I'm a failure and I have no excuse.

[@aliciaramos9531]

I like this

[@amy5133]

BOOM 💥

[@ivanvincent7534]

We can’t know for sure about the lack of choice. It’s possible we did choose this content or this experience. Shame does seem to rely on the volition in order to bite. However volition and shame seem not to coexist. It is only with awareness that the communication received through the mind can be ignored.

[@wewrestlenot]

v interesting 🤗

[@lioness7522]

Where does the potential to retire the brain e.g. via neurofeedback fit in to this?

[@Bichonfrise369]

😂 you would be Pablo Escobar 😂🎉

[@RoseannPascaleMSLMFT]

Great insight and so useful. However, the tattoo judgment is unfortunate stereotype. Naturally, not all people with tattoos are drug barons.