The Dr. Cloud Show | Dating Without Marriage As The Only Goal - Episode 9

[@12FitReps]

I'm so happy my sister-in-law gave me your book to read. I met my finance 2 weeks into reading it. I'm a woman who gets asked out a lot..but never really went on many dates because I disqualified a person without really knowing them. I passed the book on to one of my best friends and she married a guy she'd know for years, within a year. You're a blessing!! Thank you for laying out a different perspective!!

[@camillepierce9548]

I’m so glad to find this podcast. I’m not ready for marriage and actually don’t know what I won’t.

[@KJ-lb4tj]

Does a lot of this depend on what you call 'dating'? Going to the cinema, going out for coffee, having fun outings etc seems like normal friendship, getting to know people activities. Most teens and anyone for that matter add in 'snogging' (not sure what it's called in your area!) which leads to further sexual activity, because let's face it, once those pherones and hormones get going, it takes a lot for anyone to stop them. So are we calling 'dating' getting to know each other, or are we calling dating adding in sexual activity (to whatever degree anyone can manage to control that)? Because that seems to be 2 quite different things we're now taking about. I live in a very multicultural country where the divorce rate is no worse or better for arranged marriages. Some arranged marriages work just as well as those marriages that have undergone years of 'dating'.... I'm not seeing a notable difference in 'outward activity' before marriage being the deciding factor as to whether a marriage makes it or not.

[@leeharrison8790]

Courting with the intention of marriage ? Or casual friends out and about ? Dating casual with no intent of marriage ? Wow I’ve come across a very large number of single women who ... are frustrated with men whom just want to share a day or a date ...or even complain about being a pen pal ... they are quick to state theses types of men are a waste of their time.... wow there’s this ...does the guy measure up ? ..... Does he have it altogether ? Men get your act together ! The old adage of being a guy whom is real .... how do I fit in this mess ? Way to complicated !

[@Joy-nl1hb]

YES! This is what I tell my teens, BUT church youth group just went through a series about Dating is for Marriage. What a ridiculous thing to teach teens! I'm quite conservative, but I tell my kids to date lots of different people and take mental notes on what you like and don't like about another person and about yourself with different types of people. Thank you for promoting WISDOM.

[@Terrobul]

Just about ALL of church culture teaches only date someone you would marry. Josh Harris’s book I kissed dating goodbye really influenced this church culture a lot. How can one even know they want to marry someone unless they date them. It’s common sense. Him: Would you like to go out for coffee? Her: I do Haha. 😉 Christians can over spiritualize anything.

[@judygraessle1442]

Be friends first

[@vivienrhodes4248]

Yes as a teenager we went out in groups and we had fun and went out dancing to live bands it was good to meet different people

[@sbentsen2714]

Dr Cloud thank you so much for sharing this, there’s a lot of healing & growth that I feel I can definitely benefit from 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 All I’ve heard growing up I’ve heard that statement, that brings so so much pressure, so much that it usually ruins the relationship attempt. I receive this 🙌🏼

[@leeharrison8790]

A type lol .... As an artist would capture the fine details and than put it on canvas or paper ... shapes and details are amazing ! Knowing it’s only the outer shell .... what’s real within is what we actually live with .... but wow certain shapes and designs are worth noticing... as long as the in-depth search is getting to meet and know the inner persons character..... It sure would be a wonderful thing to enjoy the whole person out side and inside .... Creation is awesome because of it’s many shapes and individual design... but it’s not enough in it self to interact with long term .. life is difficult enough without knowing if a person is compatible.... misery comes in many shapes and designs.... after sixty one years .... the more I think I know reality reveals I’m actually clueless when it comes to dealing with an individual freewill .... Love must be free ... But trust must be earned ! .... I’m overwhelmed by the, “ complicated “ .... it was so much easier when young and dumb .... so flexible and what was thought to be a life long journey with a stranger at first with each step together we discovered something wonderful we weren’t aware of about each other as we live facing life together with it’s up and downs

[@judygraessle1442]

They are probably feeling the same way, give them a break, treat them like you desire to be treated.

[@dlockyer7042]

So what do you tell guys who think that dating is all about marriage? Pretty much all guys I know have this very serious approach to dating. (These are Christian guys, by the way.) For example, the last guy I dated waited months to ask me out (unbeknownst to me at the time), and by the second date wanted to make it exclusive because he was head in heels "in love". I'm pretty sure he'd have proposed in a week if I hadn't ended it!

[@judygraessle1442]

Have mutual respect

[@crjune03]

Does anyone know what book this is?

[@JennyAdiers]

crjune03 wondering the same thing

[@Brian-rs4ug]

Boundaries In Dating?

[@glorychinnam3950]

"How to find a date worth keeping" by Dr. Henry Cloud.

[@judygraessle1442]

Build upon trust

[@judygraessle1442]

Love people

[@judygraessle1442]

Sow to their growth

[@judygraessle1442]

Phone date first